As a German, I look at this report with interest and have to admit that it only partially corresponds to my perception. The families shown here live, so to speak, the ideal of what everyone wants. In reality, however, there is a significant lack of care places in Germany. It is not a given that a child of 3 years gets a place in a kindergarten nearby. The kindergartens in big cities as well as the schools have a shortage of teachers, there are many children in the classes who cannot speak German and there is not enough support for them because there are not enough teachers. Parents often have enormous problems reconciling their working life with children. But what is actually true is that children here are more independent and freer earlier than in the USA, for example
I think the balance is important, but for sure is better for kids to be independent even if that is a product of lack of something, than be like kids in USA as you mentioned. I'm Serbian, living in Czech Republic for around 7 years now, and here kids are more independent than kids in Serbia for example. In Serbia started the madness that people don't love their kids enough if they don't do basically everything for them. Even drive them to school despite Serbia being really safe country. No country is 100% safe, but I would rate both Czech Republic and Serbia 9/10. I travel a lot. Been to Germany many times same cities, but also the different ones. Last year in late June, I have visited Munich, and what amused me that in the huge park in the city (a bit further from city centre) were tones of children on bikes, alone, without parents. Some kids were as young as 7-8. And it made me happy. Because that how childhood should look like. We were growing up like this, and end up much better than those kids growing up today. Kids should be out with kids, learning new skills and socializing. Not with parents 24/7 listening to a rubbish stories to delicate for their little heads to comprehand. So we need to make our cities as safe as possible to allow to kids to grow up freerly and develope in right way.
I burst into tears when I saw the part with one of the dads saying he's been able to see his kids start to walk. I went back to work after 12 weeks here in the US. My daughter is 12 months now and I told her daycare teacher this past week to not tell me when she starts to walk. I want to at least pretend I'm the first one to see it. 😢
It's not about seeing the baby walking, you are missing the point! Unfortunately in America when you have a baby the corporations demand the workers back to work ! We have no paid family time after having a baby ! A woman maybe gets 2 weeks if she is lucky! This woman is FORCED TO miss her baby 1st steps because she is required to work 2-3 jobs at 50-60 hours. Father gets no time here either !
This is why you guys should form unions to fight for workers rights (which would be a lot easier under Bernie Sanders, but unfortunately he’s considered a crazy socialist in the U.S.). As a European, I look at U.S. work culture and can’t believe there hasn’t been an uprising yet.. 12 vacation days? No more home office? Working people don’t understand how much power they‘d have if only they organized themselves and stopped voting capitalist billionaires into office :/
I think it is fantastic! I am Colombian and we were raised with a lot of homework and sports weren't encouraged outside school. I also think kids need more spare time to have a happy adulthood.
Since I was in fifth grade (9 years old) I used to ride the train to school, one hour to school and one hour back. I never thought that this independence would be something typical German.
My mother was German and my father American. We were stationed in Germany from 72 to 96. We had a lot of freedom. Had to be home when the street lights came on until we got older and had to be home by city curfew. At 14 I used to hop buses and trains to go shopping with my babysitting money or my newspaper money. I went to clubs and never left when they announced anybody under this age has to leave during the night. As long as you didn't draw attention to yourself nobody cared. We were never scared. We walked a mile or so to school every day. We did find creative ways to shorten the time to not be late but the German police didn't like us cutting the fence and crossing the railroad tracks. They eventually had to put unit police on duty to stop us. Lol😊
As a foster child, I appreciate having been taken in by a family that supported me just as I am. Playing football with friends in the neighbourhood on the street until 10 p.m. in the summer, or going to the playground a few kilometres away was great. My foster parents were a bit older than the average parents. But they also taught me a lot. Cooking, doing laundry, ironing, even wallpapering, gardening, trimming hedges or mowing the lawn. When my foster father died in 2021 at the age of 82, I was sad. But the family bond was still unbroken. When my biological father died in 2022, I had to take care of everything myself at the age of 31. Organising the funeral, paying bills, making appointments, dealing with the authorities, solving problems. Yes, I do think that German parents, as long as they themselves have grown up in a good environment, can not only educate their children well, but also prepare them for life.
My mother stayed home so we never went to daycare. She budgeted everything so she could. Used a pressure cooker to make the best meals. What she saved on groceries she bought us toys and clothes at the on base thrift shop.😊
I like Germany, i like how are parents are germans, i going long way to work by train often i see mans with child, family, they so attentive to each other, respect, i feel that child really more independent in them mind, knowledge...but yes, its work not only to parents, its also healthy association around, good teacher in school... support from government. My heart melted when i see how tender both parents to them child, in Ukraine i not see it much.
I dont fully agree on you. it should be the parent who is educating more the children than teachers. I like that kinder geld thing if you will compare it to 3rd world countries. even UK does not have that. kids in Germany are kinda like being spoiled towards many things. its good to teach a person being independent but it should be balanced. thats why being family oriented is not that visible in Germany. when their parents are already old they bring them to home for the elderly and thats really sad its because they barely visit those old ones.
@@gonzalezsantelices6203 And what to you think is the reason for Germans don't be attached to their parents? I'm living in Germany and I have to say I'm quite confused, because childhood here is really full of family love and care. But when the parents get older I'm not seeing the childs together with them. So I'm just asking myself when happens this turn around?
@@siwengrat2241 because they are too individualistic and independent. Define love ? With material things? Spoiling them in many ways. Thats not love. They dont know how to discipline the kids here. Thats why when they grew up. They dont have that sense of empathy and sympathy
@@siwengrat2241It happens when those same parents live those same children from age 1 in kindergarten. Kindergarten=Altersheim It's nice for children to be with same age and also for old people to die without family but with the same age old people in the facility, or not? Also you can see how good are German as parents when you look at the teenagers and how much of them are from young age on drugs, medikaments and drunk. I can assure you that not everywhere is like that. Think why is that. Are the Germans really good parents?
You are not so long in Germany like I was. You didn't see it all to understand Germany is not a good place for children. Exactly the opposite. That what you see is just a mask. Look at all of those children later as teenagers. Look also the small children how stressed they are compared to children where parents really care for children and don't make so much pressure in everyday life like in Germany they do from a young age. The whole society from young to old live under so much pressure that they consider normal. Those children are all future alcoholics, drug and pill addicts. Think why is that.
I’m an American and I’m dating a German. We want kids and I’m moving to Germany. I cannot do this in America. My mother died when I was 10 and the state gave no help and I am permanently scarred.
5:10 saying that the saying doesn’t apply to small children in Germany anymore is not true… I mean, those two kids portrayed using the knife to prep themselves a snack would not be considered „small“ children anymore. Those are school children. 😅 honest question: until what age are kids considered as „small“ or „young“ etc in America?
As a child, I would throw my schoolbag in the corner after school. And then I would leave the house until the evening. We usually played cowboys and Indians and shot at each other with homemade arrows. Or we climbed the highest trees. We played in meadows or in the nearby forest. We despised playgrounds. We could do whatever we wanted all day long without supervision. And there were no cell phones yet. So our parents couldn't harass us with calls. LOL We only had to be home in the evening, when the church bells rang at 7:00. Of course, we didn't have our own clock. We enjoyed this freedom - it was a wonderful childhood. Greetings from Germany, Bavaria:-)
this was totally normal in canada until the mid eightes when high profile serial killers in some areas targeted kids , scared everyone and folks gave up the rights of their kids to experience life. fyi one child was stolen from her house but i havent notice pple not buying houses.
That cannot be the only reason though... I live in Vienna not far from where Natascha Kampusch was abducted on her way to school in the late 90s (and then held captive for 8 years) but children still walk to school alone and play outside unattended starting age 6 or so. My older son is 8 and our parents group chat is full of "has anyone seen my child, they were supposed to come straight home after school?" and it always turns out that they were held up by a construction site or a puddle or a friend who wanted to swap stickers.
It's all about media coverage. If every child with a fatal or disabling accident at home was in the news nationwide, most kids would have to sleep on the streets.
@@annaf3915 the media here in Canada dominates but it not the only factor. We are over influenced by the US but our child policies and kindergarten are similar. We use the word kindergarten in Canada too!
This is very normal not only in Germany, but in every Western European country. I grew up in Belgium and I rode my bike to school from the age of 5. But truth be told, our streets are not filled with homeless drug users and nobody owns a gun. I don't think I would be able to give my kids the same amount of freedom if I were to raise them in the U.S.
1:42 It should be mentioned that it is 65 % of the average net income over the last 12 months, but the amount tops at 1800 €, which can be a huge cut if one actually earns a lot more. This could be the reason why many tend to have shorter breaks from work.
every year all things gets updated to catch inflation, from public transportation tickets till swimming pool tickets. This cap of 1800 euros stays since I moved to Germany in 2016. And it was a reason why I didn't take even 2 months of parental. I was simple too short in Germany, finding flat, giving 3x kalt, buying furniture (even kitchen) to have savings so I can "uberleben"... Just warm Miete was 1500 back then in Munich. But those 1800 from 2016 are wort 2,263.54 euros today, so they even took almost 500 current euros! Nowdays I pay my warm 2233 euros so much worse situation. Educated people working in big expensive cities (I would like to be Machine learning engineer in some cheap village but it is not possible) are paying higher taxes but get punished when they became parents. That is one among many reasons why Germany lacks kids.
But still much better than any other country. And also should have been mentioned than in most jobs you are allow to change the contract to part time to have a more work life balance. Which again is very rare in other countries.
@@veronicagonzalez2346the conditions are really good, but just in theory. Unfortunately people that can’t have savings in order to take care of their kids have to go back to work or raise their kid in a very hard situation
@@veronicagonzalez2346 I am not sure if that is universal rigtht. I remember a lady in our company was refused for shorter working time. You could use your parental in a way to shorten your time, but after that no. Now that company has passed some limitations on number of employees it must give you part-time offer. But it is crude offering directly proportional to your gross salary and vacation. Many who took it (not only in my company) complain that you work 80% time for 80% of salary but you are expected to have 100% productivity. In other countries you have better children support (kindergartens, krita and schools) and working time is at least an hour shorter. In my Serbia it is 9 to 5 with half hour brake which is a working time. It gives you 5 hours a week for yourself.
I'm German and grew up in the 80s in a town. True, we all went to school by ourselves and also to our hobbies. My parents wanted us to do one sport and one instrument. Unfortunately in my family and probably many others too , it was very patriarchial, we had no voice, that was very damaging. I lived in Switzerland and the UK for many years and was very surprised and disgusted how sexism and choleric men are still accepted in society in Germany. I see a lot of men who are now caring and spending time with their children though which gives me hope. But there are still so many women (mothers, grandmothers, kindergarden teachers) I hear speaking with their children in a very condescending manner. I wished our new generations would grow up with more self esteem but all that shaming and emotional abuse (which is not even often recognised as such cause it was so normalised in the parents own upbringing) breaks my heart to witness.
People in Germany have always been more transparent and intuitive. But I don't think it would be as easy for them here in the US. It's just a different social environment.
@@dweuromaxx The community in general. I think people in Germany have always been on the same page. In terms of community goals and shared personality. The United States just has a lot more resistance. The people who are already established in life are more focused on their own affairs. While questionable people never hesitate to exploit gaps in the system. Which means people here who have difficulties in their life will always be ignored (or worse). But people in Germany already have a system in place to mitigate these difficulties. Because of how proactive and detail-oriented they are.
@@vomm Some of us try. And it does make things better. But like I said: There's strong resistance against it. It's really surprising how much stuff Americans let people get away with.
@dweuromaxx I'm german and lived in the US for two years (2019-2021) where I worked for three different host families in three different states (Massachusetts, California, New York). All families had in common that their children had a lot of appointments each day, so I had to drive them to a therapist, doctor or some sports event. The kids learned to ride their bikes solely to drive around in their neighborhood (or, in downtown San Francisco, just one block around the house), never further or to their school. It felt weird because all of a sudden, I was very dependent on having a car bc you can't go anywhere by bike unless you live in a big City. In Germany, I was so used to ride my bike everywhere around town
It should be mentioned that fathers have the same rights to take parental leave and it is encouraged by the state. If the father takes time of the family gets up to 2 extra months of parental pay. Sadly that means that most dads take one or 2 months of but don't really take over a significant part of raising the children. Only 10% take more time than the 2 months
Don't forget the time we live in... I'm not letting my kids wonder around the streets alone and I try to watch their every move and protect them intil they are strong and stable enough.
I think it is wonderful! However, in the USA, this would be a bit difficult, due to the fact that there are those who don’t have health care, there is no federal or state payment to families for time that they take off. So, we obsess about our children making sure that they are well, due to the fact that we couldn’t take off of work and take them to the doctor.
You have recognized the obvious mistake. The entire system in the USA is hostile to people and families. It's all about greed, exploitation and appearances.
Im an aussie when i was four i always went two houses down to my bestie then when i started primary school i just walked by myself granted it was 10min walk down the hill and a safe suburb but independence was instilled from a very young age 😊
I live in Germany with the opportunity to observe the society. I work here, which makes me travel a lot across the country. I have a different opinion. I come from India, have studied and worked in the UK and Japan before moving here and work as a female in a highly male dominated environment (research and development) 1. My understanding is that the state (the extent differs) didnt invest sufficiently on child care which is the reason why many mothers stay home, work part-time, and never return to full time work. The reason is typically the men earn more and it's a wise financial decision for the household and, there's still a lot of social taboo in terms of men taking parental leave. I saw this first hand in multiple cases in my own workplace amidst men who are reasonably liberal. 2. Child care costs (very high) Vs. Kindergeld/parental leave compensation just don't add up. The extent to which it is bad depends on the federal state. 3. There's a tendency for schools and the state to overprotect children, which also seeps into parenting attitudes (helicopter parents). The number of homeworks that parents (not kids) get doesn't allow a woman to work. Dress up the kid that way, this way, special expensive socks, this food for this day, that event...most parents find it overwhelming! 5. Teachers and child care personal are paid poorly so they tend to do the minimum, try not get into legal trouble, push most work to the parents, precluding one of them from returning to work, usually mom. 5. Looking after children in childcare is limited in time, every extra hour even within standard working hours (830-1730) costs a lot of money. All extra curricular activities cost money, usually! So, usually moms stay home, work part time. so much for feminism, and this is the trouble with the state apparentus and society, not (just) the men, largely. 6. Most children in school are not sufficiently occupied, don't learn enough, are behind most of their peers across the globe (India, Asia, in general), have very little discipline, responsibility, life experience inculcated in them. Most of them tend to grow up with an unrealistic world view and with "should bes" and are shocked at the real world. They cannot accept or make value out of pain, hardwork, suffering, rejection, negative emotions, etc. there's no balance achieved. These ideas that good and bad are part of life are not inculcated in brought up at any point. And, worse, most children grow up with little discipline, respect for authority, with the capability of thinking about the concept of freedom/using their freedom and privileges constructively. One can routinely see this in public spaces where small kids, big kids, teenagers, all behave badly and uncontrollably. It's typical, and the rest of the society has to put up with it. All in all, having seen this and having had a rosier view before moving to Germany about all this, for full time work, given the inflation, crazy prices, crazy housing costs, crazy German bureaucracy, despite being "high earners" in "hot tech" industries - my partner (he is German) and I are seriously thinking before making decisions to have kids.
You seem to have your own values that don't really overlap with those that are common in Germany. You see children "behaving badly", I see children living without unnecessary boundaries. You see "an unrealistic world view", I see potential for a generation that might have the courage and hope to change the world to the better. There is no value in pain, suffering, rejection - they are part of life though and one has to learn not to let them get under their skin. Life is hard enough even if we aren't constantly competing with each other. Let kids be kids, give them an appropriate amount of responsibility, let them set their own values and accept if they have different ones than you have. Pain and suffering will not skip them anyway, so why try to force them into the experience sooner than needed? It's like saying "you're going to be old at some point, so how about we put you in a care home now, just that you're prepared for it?" - that's just stupid. Yes, Asian and Indian children might outperform them and might even have a higher economic success down the road, but German children are definitely happier and have more trust in the world and self esteem than Asian and Indian ones.
Interesting, because my "stupid" views on this are actually elicited by German parents in my circles on an every day basis. The children are "happy" because they are no responsibilities, no accountability inculcated in them, they are uncontrollable and "get their way" and can't take no for an answer. Too many temptations in a consumerist society. The complaints on children not learning much, or getting taught the value of diligence, going through pain to pursue excellence is also from my german friends who want their children to be more skilled and prepared for facing the real world in a balanced way (navigating responsibility, duty and freedom) rather than grow up to be spoilt brats who think of nothing else but themselves (not exactly the generation we need to tackle the big challenges ahead). The Asian children comparison also comes from German parents...who have travelled, worked and lived in Asia (see the positives and negatives of that culture too).
You should have show the average families that is more common to see in a daily life,like in the bigger cities for example. You showed families that have a good financial condition, a big house in a small town and can afford what most of us can't. I live for more than 30 years in one considered big town in north Germany, raised 3 children in a small apartment. Adult Germans are often not friendly to children and they make your life a nightmare, as they did to us. Today my children are adults and I work at home, as day care. After living a nightmare in an apartment we could get a credit to buy a little house where we could have a bit peace. Meanwhile I'm divorced, my ex husband is retired with a very little income and I work at home in order to finish paying the house, the credit seams to have no end.... Here we have to work until 67 until we can get retired. In some cases can be with 63 but with much less money. In my case, if I work until 67 I'll receive 740€, gross salary. In the bigger towns are hundreds, if not thousands of children without place in kindergarten. We don't have enough teachers in kindergartens and schools. Seams like Germany is going down in a high speed 😢 By the way, I'm not German 😊 I didn't go to work when my children were small because I couldn't speak German as is expected in order to have a good job. When they started going to kindergarten I went cleaning for few hours and some days I did German language courses. What we learn in our countries are not automatically recognized in Germany. First learn the language, then make some course to recognize your profession, after that you might get a proper job. Good luck! It's a damn difficult language! 🤯🤯🤯
My parents are Albanian but they became German really fast after we moved here and when I moved out at 19 they were happy af like no Girl we are Albanian I should live there Till I marry or die
I am Albanian... was raised there until I was 26 and since 10 ears living in Germany. I do not agree with the way Germans raise their kids... in most cases there is a lack of love or lack of any sort of way of "disciplining" children. Most Germans I know have an emotional void which comes from their upbringing and most of them do not want to enter a relationship....which is an indicator of an unhealthy family life. Do I think that the Albanian upbringing is perfect? Noo.... absolutely not. But I will surely not cherish the day my children will leave home and I guess that in the future people will rethink living separately from one another as this is leading to a financial and mental issues among young adults, little children that are not raised from grandparents but in institutions that do not care about them, and parents and grandparents that end in retirement homes alone and unloved. My German boyfriend think the same and we hope we can live that type of life.
My mom is from the Balkans as well and I hate her parenting methods. I wish she was German. She's way too strict and I'm "not allowed" to move out even though I'm way too old to be living with her. I wish I have had a German mom :( It's so hard seeing these independent Germans with nice parents who accept boundaries. And there I am, completely dependent on my mom and a scared and anxious adult. I feel like many children of immigrants in Germany can relate.
@@amisam2215I think a healthy middle ground is the best. Yes some German parents are extremely cold and distant people. My German boyfriend is so detached from his mom that it's hard for him to say "Mama" to her. Which is not healthy at all. However, please don't make it harder for your future kids. Children need to be independent and they need to move out eventually. You should be proud of your children when they're independent. Give them the best support and I guarantee they will love visiting you and spending time with you. Make it hard for them, disrespect boundaries and raise them with fear and they will eventually drift away from you. My mom is like that - she never believed in me, thought I was too weak to be on my own. This creates resentment and even hate and it's not healthy.
And especially when you're living in Germany you should adapt to the German way of living. That doesn't mean you should ban everything that has to do with Albania! It means that you should not raise a child in Germany with the Albanian parenting style. Your child will befriend Germans and will resent you for not being brought up like their friends. Again, that doesn't mean you have to do everything German parents do. But it means that you should adapt. Your child will resent you if all their friends are super independent and your child is the only one who has to be home by 8 at age 16. It's not good to do this to your child. If you want to raise your child more Albanian than German then I recommend going back to Albania. Not in a racist way but in a "this could severely damage your child" way.
@@CondéBrudi I am a hustler and I did not come to Germany so that my children turn in to the average village looser or one of those thousands of lost German men that do not want any family, any responsibility etc etc and still play computer games in the 40's...or a daughter that can't cook Byrek or anything at all and does not want a family. Sorry but I have seen a lot. I hope my children will be strong since times in Germany are getting tough, especially since the last 10 years with this new wave of emigrants that have no concept of community, laws, rule and politeness etc etc. If you raise your children like snowflakes they will have no chance to survive in the new Germany. If you are old enough to move out of your parent's home just do it...i don't get the point why are you still a "captive" of your mom. I never asked my Albanian parents for major life's decision. When I wanted to move out I just did it and that was it. I don't know where do you come from but Albanian parenting style is not that strickt...my cousins in Albania have all moved out of their parents homes in their 20s and live separately. So maybe you have your own issues with your culture...as for Albanians from Albania parenting is not problematic.
I've lived in 4 different countries & saw on the first day of school a sea of kids on bicycles, WOW I thought, absolutely wonderful. I too decided to cycle as much as I could when running errands, cycling in London or Athens is a kamikaze mission.
I agree, it's like that in many countries but not in all of Europe, not even mentioning other continents. I used to live in Spain where 10 year olds would never be allowed to take public transport alone, in Austria the minimum age is 6 and from that age on it's also normal to be out and about alone. My neighbor even sends her barely 5 year old to the supermarket for a few things (she cannot read or write yet so just the amount the can remember ;-))
DW is really a rasict channel. Why in the video there are only white/blonde children? Ich will report it to the governemnt. Just for your info. @@dweuromaxx
What i love in Europe is safety. You can walk or bike anywhere and anytime without worry that you will be abducted. That’s why kids are always enjoying outside even adults ❤️❤️❤️❤️
In Germany, people can go out of their homes without worry that someone will shoot them or harm them. So parents has faith their children are safe and can do what they want.
I live in Chicago I would be worry all the time because they are walking alone to the school, a lot car accidents, a lot kidnapping, a lot shootings and a lot child predators
Up until the age of 11, I finished school around lunchtime every day. I was a fast learner, so I never had to study or do homework for long. All I did the rest of the day was run around outside with my friends :)
A high quality of life is achievable when responsible adults manage society effectively. Unfortunately, many children in underdeveloped countries miss out on such opportunities because those in power lack integrity in handling wealth.
Yes, my grandmother didn't even allow me to vacuum or wash clothes as she feared I'd break the appliances as we're so poor, now I am a young adult who can't do anything. I also haven't gotten to bake things either and have almost burned down the apartment every time I've tried so far.
People in Russia used to live in rush, therefore Germans have more prudent environment with pure German culture domination. Apparently, logic and comfort are basic components of children independence.
Day care centers are called kindergardens in Germany Wow.... I found kindergardens in the US which named as kindergarden, so I was happy to find out where the name came from.
While camping in Europe mostly in the summer, kids more uneducated than the german ones i have never seen. They pay no attention to the others, shout, hit, scream, bump into you never saying sorry, aso. One thing is not to be a helicopter parent and another one is to give the child the education he needs while in society.
As an American I don’t really see the point in giving that much independence and freedom at such a young age. They are already at school for 8 hours a day, why push for more time away from the family unit? Until they are older it is the parents job to instill strong values in them so when they are required to be more active in the real world they’ve got a strong foundation to build off of. I don’t need the world raising my kids.
the whole point about AUTONMY IS TO ALLOW THEM TO GET AWAY FROM THE FAMILY UNIT. the strong values that they get are the ones that they want. you help them build a foundation from a young age. there is a reason why youth happiness is high in Germany. TEENAGERS DONT LIKE TO SPEND TIME WITH THEIR FAMILY
They don't. People make up their own minds, especially when it comes to important decisions in life, like raising children. A changing environment doesn't change values, even if it might change behavior. And there is no such thing as "native" values, not in a globalized world where you have access to information and freedom of choice.
DW euromaxx, you picked now exampleary familiys how it would be in best case scenario, i would like you to show familiys that are not well off areas or problem areas to have a contrast.
Unfortunately in the majority of the USA, we’ve built places that isolate kids and give them no safe routes for independence to the places displayed here, parks, ponds, sports fields, friends houses, school - roads need to be slowed down, shared, and made to realize they aren’t just for cars. Most kids need a bus or parent chauffeur to get them to these places. Make a decisions to raise your kids in a place that’s easy for them to play and interact independently
I grew up in Germany and had to get everywhere on my own. I would have loved to have a parent chauffeur but my mom didn’t even have a car for the majority of my childhood.
Wow. Das ist einfach mal eine glorreiche Abbildung von einer Familie, die im oberen Segment (die oberen 40%) des Einkommens innerhalb der BRD liegt. SO REALISTISCH.
No two people (parent and child) are the same though. My older child started daycare at 2 and a half years and might have benefitted from waiting another year. He was happy doing puzzles and playing with his train set at home, then going to the playground in the afternoons to meet some other children. Being around 10 or even 15 little children from 9 to 3 Monday to Friday really wore him out... So with my younger child, my plan was to keep him home for longer. But he got so restless at home and tore up the place as soon as he could crawl. He always wanted to go ouside looking for other children and ran into my older son's kindergarten room whenever we picked him up, started to play and refused to leave, so in the end I sent him even before he turned two, and he loved it.
It would have been good to highlight the differences east to west, which is not really elucidated with the Berlin family, for example, why the daycare is free versus the other mother who stays home to cook lunch. The role of the father and mother still differ across this divide.
"All children are entitled to a place in daycare" - well... theoretically. If there are enough places. Often you are lucky if you get a daycare place for the time from 7:30 am to noon. No enough for both parents to work.
True. My colleague in Berlin, she was waiting 2 years for a vacant place in the kindergarten. But i don't know how the situation in other cities (Hamburg ?) is...
@@k.s.421its terrible at least here in Mainz, if you want to work when your child is under 2. The City doesnt have enough child care places but are legally obligated to offer you one. But if you sue them for child care, they can just force you take private child care which is partielly Sponsored by the city but we have to pay the Additional amount. So instead of paying 600 Euro, we have to pay 1400
As a foreigner living in Germany for the last 11 years and who has children here, this video is definitely showing a pink glasses version of reality, applying to only few people. Most men, who take the parental leave take indeed only 2 months. Getting a day care place after 1 is like applying for Harward and in most places lately is 6 hours a day. My child is already 5 and still hasn't got a spot and is definitely not the only one. This forces mothers to stay at home and be house wives. Better than America? Almost anywhere it is. Happy parents, living in large houses, equally taking care of their children, while enjoying an amazing educational system? Give me a break, that's a minority.
It's actually pretty normal for kids to be this independent in India and other parts of Asia like China, Thailand and Philippines, etc. But maybe this video only concerns about western kids.
@@vomm Hello smarty pants. This is the first line of description of this video : "Do kids in Germany show more personal responsibility than children in other countries?" In which book of yours countries means only US ?
Where are my Brazil parents, lol? In Brazil, almost in all regions of the country, parents still takes a 19 year old kid to school. Majority of Brazilian kids are dependent up until they get to college. It's even more pronounced among the elites of the country. Could this be as a result of crime or insecurity ? These and many more begs for answer.
@@peter_meyer Not true. Women with children, they still have disadvantages later with their pension. You only get a minimum part (called "Elternzeit") as a plus to your retirement. But no comparison to a full time working women...
When it comes to retirement, there is a point system and normally during marriage it's split 50/50 between spouses no matter who is working or how much (up until the point you get divorced). Every other social service is measured on your income, so that brings high risks for the parent who has/decides to work less.
The most important is the outcome. Are Germans happier, healthier, and is their society better? Take a look at their overall mental health, for example. Is it any better that, let's say the USA? Also, have them send their kids here to school in the USA and let them walk, ride their bike, or take the bus on their own and see how that turns out.
After living in a few different countries I have come to the conclusion that no society is better as such. Same human problems seem to exist even when children grow up in safe societies where they can be independent or social welfare systems are better etc. It's almost sad actually because living in Finland I am sometimes like and this is supposedly the happiest country in the world - not a lot to aspire to. More and more I think what we should be aiming for is are we bringing up people who are kind and want to bring good to the world - because that definitely seems infinitely more important to the world at this point in time.
Vivo en Alemania te puedo decir que la gente aquí se tira a las vías del tren muy a menudo por depresión.😢 Por lo que noto la gente no es solidaria y empatica. En cuanto a los niños son independientes pero más que nada los veo muy solos los padres no son afectivos. Si un niño se cae en la calle el padre alemán simplemente lo mirara o lo dejara llorar horas y horas, varias veces he visto este comportamiento lamentablemente. Pero bueno son culturas.
Female parenting is a very strong argument as I couldn't find any convincing answer to replace it with male parenting. Can anyone in the world give any argument in support of male parenting instead of a female. Regards
No no iam not concerned about money but nature designed women as ideal for parenting because physiology, psychology and strange attachment between mom and kids and this can't be replaced by man. Regards@@mofi2342
I agree with the "it's just not american". My primary school Ive done it in peru considered third world blabla and we all used to go to school alone since we were 7 or 8.
I grew up in Germany. The families portrayed in this video seem to be upper middle class. Both parents have to work to afford this lifestyle. Daycare seems to teach things that the parents should teach their children. It is not mentioned that they have to send the kids to school as homeschooling is illegal. The state is raising the children from the age of 1 as they are in daycare and public school. There are few private schools. There is less crime - especially in the areas those families seem to live in.
That’s just misleading. You can send very young kids to daycare, but that’s not mandatory or even something that most people especially in more rural areas do. Some don’t go at all to kindergarten, some only start at 3 or 4 and it’s not as structured as in the USA. It’s a place to play with other kids, do crafts and learn basic skills like how to hold a pen or a scissor. School starts when the kids are 6 or 7 and although schooling is mandatory private schools exist and are mostly not that expensive. I don’t know where people get the whole “the state is raising the kids” scare from. It’s just school and people have more than enough time to teach their kids what they consider “necessary” at home be it specific values, religious beliefs or additional skills.
@@lisal5718 If parents have to send their kids to school for 6-8 hours a day when are they going to teach the kids? All day school and after school care are common in Germany now. Kids are in school from 8-4. Then there is homework and dinner. They spend more time with their teachers than with their parents.
@@mylifeintheusa4720In primary school, the lessons go from ca. 8-12 o clock. That's not long. Then it's the parents choice if the kids come home for the rest of the day or stay in care in school (Offene Ganztagsschule). It's a choice of raise your kid and don't have that much money or let your kid stay in care and have more money, because you have time to work in the afternoon.
@@lisal5718 Of course the state is raising them- they spend most of their waking hours there. If you don't teach them actively, they catch the lessons. The question is, are they learning what we intend for them to learn or something else... This video makes me very sad. You can dress it up anyway you like but society is farming children out at such a young age and making them 'self sufficient' to accomodate adults' desires for more material wealth or to make ends meet depending on where you sit on the socioeconomic scale. There is a world of difference between children able to perform self care tasks and amuse themselves and living 'independently' for the convenience of society. What Germany gains in shared parental leave, it loses in lack of choice for families. The state is so over involved in the citizen's lives.
@@bbee674 I am from Germany and I agree to a certain extend with you. I don't fully agree with mandetory school. Germans don't doubt as much what is taught in school. They trust that the school will prepare the kids for work life. I gerally think the idea of school is awesome, but in my opinion it should be more a place to explore and meet other kids and have less strict rules. And not be mandetory. There is one aspect which I can see a benefit in madetory school and thats for children in ineffecive maybe even abusive familys. Firsrt of all it is easier to notice abuse cause the kids are every day in school and secondly the kids have some structure and help. But with the independence and freedom in an earlier age I fully agree. I never been in the States, so I can speek for the safety aspect there. But I can tell you that Parents in Germany are usually really caring. I don't exactly know what you mean by self car tasks, but yeah kids bruah there on teeth from a certain age 😂 The kids becoming more independent is not about accomodating adults, it is about being a kid. When i grew up it was normal that I would play for hours with the other kids outside in the neighbourhood. We would run around, play hide and seek etc.
This is interesting. In America, you need a license to go fishing, but all it involves is paying a fee; there is no test. And in most states, children under a certain age don't need a license (in my state it's 16). What are people tested on to fish in Germany? The rules? Or is it something else?
@@JohnWilson-hc5wq well, first of all you need to know the different fish species, the protection and/or spawning times, minimum sizes asf. Back when i did my license, we even had to prove our abilities with the fishing rod.
@@peter_meyer Wow. I don't think any US state is that comprehensive. Here you just pay the fee and they give you a book with the rules when you get your license, but there's no test on knowing them or how to identify species.
I'm from Germany and my father was only at home every weekend bc of work and my mum was a stay at home mum taking care of the children. This is completely fine. But in my opinion it is stupid to say that children in Germany are more independent. I don't believe this.
They are at least more independent than here in England. Before my children were allowed to go home after school by themselves we needed to talk to the headteacher. It is very unlikely for children younger than 10yrs going home on their own.
@@jennyfinck7779 That sounds like the US, but only in modern times. In the 1970s and 1980s, it was normal for kids to walk to and from school alone, if they lived within one mile (1.6 km) of the school, from age 5 or 6. Nowadays, depending on the locality, it's more like age 11 or 12 before they can be outside alone. In most places, it's not a law, but the culture has become paranoid because of high-profile kidnappings, murders, etc., and people believe they are way more common than they really are.
It’s not a fair comparison… my parents survived the trauma of the WWII so understandable that they are more protective given the motility and justice of that time. I think the independence is a privilege, not done to brag about. The child abduction is also not to be taken lightly. I raised my own kids to be independent but always watched from afar, and do my best to provide stability and safety net while they explored & be independent…. Ultimate goal of every parent.
My boss (at a US university) was in the process of closing on his house. There was some issue and he called his dad to step in and help. By contrast, I left Germany at 18 and was on my own; no parents to call and help out. And here my boss in his 40s is calling on daddy to help.
I am 40, my parents are also the first people I call upon when in need as they do with me. It's called being a family. Don't you like being there for people, lend a helping hand to a friend or even a stranger?
Most children are not happy though being put into daycare before 3 years old…. Usually they start to play with other children at around 3 years old. Before that they play NEXT to each other. They seem totally lost and overwhelmed. No wonder many children when they grow up an become youngsters or adults they don’t want to have anything to do with their parents…..
The state spends a lot ensuring their Safety. German kids are not more independent than African or Chinese kids. Their environment is very secure and that is why they seem independent. Very lagging on the financial independence scale
My parents are africans, but they moved to germany 🇩🇪. First my mom moved and gave birth to my sister, then 9 years later i was born in the United States 🇺🇸, then i came as a newborn to germany and got my german passport ( also american passport). My father stayed in germany and cameroon, so he wasn’t really living with us! Then between 2016-2019 he officially moved in with us, but he isn’t really german!
If life is so great why does everyone around look so depressed all the time? EVERYBODY IS FOOLISH! There's no such thing as a good life because life is all about slavery to the meat suit and the environment. A slave life can never be good unless you have no standards for yourself.
I disagree. I dealt with German youth on volunteering travels overseas. Wow, they were demanding and not trained to be independent. I cursed their parents back home. They are too busy with the careers and money worries, while neglecting child rearing. Just like anywhere.
Ja dat sieht man hier allet als das Lehrbuch-Beispiel, aber es gibt sooo viele Familien die so ein Leben ihren Kindern besorgen wollen aber eines Tages erklären müssen: mein Kind, was? Wo fährt deine Klassenkameradin hin? Wir können höchstens am Arendsee 4 Tage entspannen wenn mir die Urlaubstage noch nicht mieser verteilt werden. Jaa ich weiß dass du am liebsten die Kunstakademie besuchen würdest und ich bin überzeugt dass du das abschließend würdest aber ich werde weder jünger noch stärker und du musst noch iwie selbstständig überleben. So bitte liebe/r Zuschauer/in lass dich nich täuschen
Thanks for the video. However: The music you added is bloody annoying - it's much too loud and it actually is superfluous in general because it adds nothing to the content - apert from being obnoxious.
@@deepsburleThere are places where they can stay after school. Sort of like daycare for older kids, where they have lunch, do their homework and play. This can be within the school or a separate institution.
@@LettersFromAFriend its just so difficult to find a spot in such daycares in cities like Munich. There is one Hort spot for every 10 kids going to primary school.
@@deepsburle Oh, I didn't know that... It's not a problem here in Lower Saxony (so I assumed you were a non-German, I did not realise it was so different in another part of Germany). It is unusual here to let your primary school kids come home at noon. Quite often they go to Hort even if a parent is at home simply because it's normal to go.
Aww, all the goody goody stories. No mention of staggeringly high rental discrimination, homogeneous corporate world, exodus of skilled migrants, absence of any meaningful anti-discrimination law. Life is not that easy, if you are a Chinese PhD student or Indian SAP developer.
@@Abigail-nc6in Germany hires non-Germans (irrespective of permit status or qualification) when a suitable German is not found, do not want to do in offered salary, i.e. foreigner candidate is dirt cheap. Typically plug-and-play IT workers from third world outsourcing locations.
There are thousands of father who are not seeing their kids just the judiciary only wants their money to be sent to the mother and kids who looks after them.. alienated father
@@dweuromaxx Several studies suggest that avoidant attachment styles are more common in Northern European countries, especially in Germany, compared to other regions. This tendency is partly attributed to cultural child-rearing practices that emphasize independence and self-reliance. In Germany, for instance, the high proportion of avoidant attachment styles (up to 52% in certain studies) has been linked to parenting approaches that encourage early autonomy, leading children to rely less on caregivers for comfort and security. This is quite distinct from cultures like Japan, where more anxious attachment styles prevail, as Japanese child-rearing often involves high caregiver involvement and close physical proximity.
@@JuanLopez-vu7oo I grew up very independent and still have a close bond to my parents and had a lot of comfort too. Giving your child independence does not equal negligence.
It doesnt matter how cool the kindergarten concept is, there are multiple studies that show no benefit whatsoever to send kids this young to day care. Children should be home with their caregivers (mom or dad) until 3. Dont shoot the messenger, ask any child psychologist
You read only surveys you like 😅...there are others.i Was a stay at home Mom but my grandchildren are in daycare from 12month on...they are school kids now and are happy healthy and almost like my children in former times.
lots of good parenting tips from German culture. But, they stuffed their emotions and struggle whole life to express emotions. I lived there for 8 yrs and know quite well.
Germany pays unemployed and their manufacturing industry, especially automotive is going down, they won't be able to sustain their social Security expenses in a few years from now
As a German, I look at this report with interest and have to admit that it only partially corresponds to my perception. The families shown here live, so to speak, the ideal of what everyone wants. In reality, however, there is a significant lack of care places in Germany. It is not a given that a child of 3 years gets a place in a kindergarten nearby. The kindergartens in big cities as well as the schools have a shortage of teachers, there are many children in the classes who cannot speak German and there is not enough support for them because there are not enough teachers.
Parents often have enormous problems reconciling their working life with children.
But what is actually true is that children here are more independent and freer earlier than in the USA, for example
yeah agree. Especially the first family is obviously wealthy and priviliged.
I think the balance is important, but for sure is better for kids to be independent even if that is a product of lack of something, than be like kids in USA as you mentioned. I'm Serbian, living in Czech Republic for around 7 years now, and here kids are more independent than kids in Serbia for example. In Serbia started the madness that people don't love their kids enough if they don't do basically everything for them. Even drive them to school despite Serbia being really safe country. No country is 100% safe, but I would rate both Czech Republic and Serbia 9/10.
I travel a lot. Been to Germany many times same cities, but also the different ones. Last year in late June, I have visited Munich, and what amused me that in the huge park in the city (a bit further from city centre) were tones of children on bikes, alone, without parents. Some kids were as young as 7-8. And it made me happy. Because that how childhood should look like. We were growing up like this, and end up much better than those kids growing up today. Kids should be out with kids, learning new skills and socializing. Not with parents 24/7 listening to a rubbish stories to delicate for their little heads to comprehand. So we need to make our cities as safe as possible to allow to kids to grow up freerly and develope in right way.
I burst into tears when I saw the part with one of the dads saying he's been able to see his kids start to walk. I went back to work after 12 weeks here in the US. My daughter is 12 months now and I told her daycare teacher this past week to not tell me when she starts to walk. I want to at least pretend I'm the first one to see it. 😢
It's so exciting to see your baby's first walk.
It's not about seeing the baby walking, you are missing the point! Unfortunately in America when you have a baby the corporations demand the workers back to work ! We have no paid family time after having a baby ! A woman maybe gets 2 weeks if she is lucky! This woman is FORCED TO miss her baby 1st steps because she is required to work 2-3 jobs at 50-60 hours. Father gets no time here either !
This is why you guys should form unions to fight for workers rights (which would be a lot easier under Bernie Sanders, but unfortunately he’s considered a crazy socialist in the U.S.). As a European, I look at U.S. work culture and can’t believe there hasn’t been an uprising yet.. 12 vacation days? No more home office? Working people don’t understand how much power they‘d have if only they organized themselves and stopped voting capitalist billionaires into office :/
@@annaludwig7991best comment ever
12 weeks!? You can't even breastfeed your baby.
I think it is fantastic! I am Colombian and we were raised with a lot of homework and sports weren't encouraged outside school. I also think kids need more spare time to have a happy adulthood.
Since I was in fifth grade (9 years old) I used to ride the train to school, one hour to school and one hour back. I never thought that this independence would be something typical German.
My mother was German and my father American. We were stationed in Germany from 72 to 96. We had a lot of freedom. Had to be home when the street lights came on until we got older and had to be home by city curfew. At 14 I used to hop buses and trains to go shopping with my babysitting money or my newspaper money. I went to clubs and never left when they announced anybody under this age has to leave during the night. As long as you didn't draw attention to yourself nobody cared. We were never scared. We walked a mile or so to school every day. We did find creative ways to shorten the time to not be late but the German police didn't like us cutting the fence and crossing the railroad tracks. They eventually had to put unit police on duty to stop us. Lol😊
Sounds like you had fun growing up.
As a foster child, I appreciate having been taken in by a family that supported me just as I am. Playing football with friends in the neighbourhood on the street until 10 p.m. in the summer, or going to the playground a few kilometres away was great. My foster parents were a bit older than the average parents. But they also taught me a lot. Cooking, doing laundry, ironing, even wallpapering, gardening, trimming hedges or mowing the lawn. When my foster father died in 2021 at the age of 82, I was sad. But the family bond was still unbroken. When my biological father died in 2022, I had to take care of everything myself at the age of 31. Organising the funeral, paying bills, making appointments, dealing with the authorities, solving problems.
Yes, I do think that German parents, as long as they themselves have grown up in a good environment, can not only educate their children well, but also prepare them for life.
My mother stayed home so we never went to daycare. She budgeted everything so she could. Used a pressure cooker to make the best meals. What she saved on groceries she bought us toys and clothes at the on base thrift shop.😊
I like Germany, i like how are parents are germans, i going long way to work by train often i see mans with child, family, they so attentive to each other, respect, i feel that child really more independent in them mind, knowledge...but yes, its work not only to parents, its also healthy association around, good teacher in school... support from government. My heart melted when i see how tender both parents to them child, in Ukraine i not see it much.
I dont fully agree on you. it should be the parent who is educating more the children than teachers. I like that kinder geld thing if you will compare it to 3rd world countries. even UK does not have that. kids in Germany are kinda like being spoiled towards many things. its good to teach a person being independent but it should be balanced. thats why being family oriented is not that visible in Germany. when their parents are already old they bring them to home for the elderly and thats really sad its because they barely visit those old ones.
@@gonzalezsantelices6203 And what to you think is the reason for Germans don't be attached to their parents? I'm living in Germany and I have to say I'm quite confused, because childhood here is really full of family love and care. But when the parents get older I'm not seeing the childs together with them. So I'm just asking myself when happens this turn around?
@@siwengrat2241 because they are too individualistic and independent. Define love ? With material things? Spoiling them in many ways. Thats not love. They dont know how to discipline the kids here. Thats why when they grew up. They dont have that sense of empathy and sympathy
@@siwengrat2241It happens when those same parents live those same children from age 1 in kindergarten. Kindergarten=Altersheim
It's nice for children to be with same age and also for old people to die without family but with the same age old people in the facility, or not? Also you can see how good are German as parents when you look at the teenagers and how much of them are from young age on drugs, medikaments and drunk. I can assure you that not everywhere is like that. Think why is that. Are the Germans really good parents?
You are not so long in Germany like I was. You didn't see it all to understand Germany is not a good place for children. Exactly the opposite. That what you see is just a mask. Look at all of those children later as teenagers. Look also the small children how stressed they are compared to children where parents really care for children and don't make so much pressure in everyday life like in Germany they do from a young age. The whole society from young to old live under so much pressure that they consider normal. Those children are all future alcoholics, drug and pill addicts. Think why is that.
I’m an American and I’m dating a German. We want kids and I’m moving to Germany. I cannot do this in America. My mother died when I was 10 and the state gave no help and I am permanently scarred.
My husband, the primary breadwinner, died in Germany when our kids were 3 years old and 6months old and we got no help, so don't over romatiize
Are you native American? NO, you are Germanic origin American.
@@nicolej.ribeiro7126 no insurance? no money from the social welfare?
@@val-schaeffer1117 bot fail. 😂😂
@@nicolej.ribeiro7126 LOL. That’s a lie.
5:10 saying that the saying doesn’t apply to small children in Germany anymore is not true… I mean, those two kids portrayed using the knife to prep themselves a snack would not be considered „small“ children anymore. Those are school children. 😅 honest question: until what age are kids considered as „small“ or „young“ etc in America?
As a child, I would throw my schoolbag in the corner after school. And then I would leave the house until the evening.
We usually played cowboys and Indians and shot at each other with homemade arrows. Or we climbed the highest trees.
We played in meadows or in the nearby forest.
We despised playgrounds.
We could do whatever we wanted all day long without supervision. And there were no cell phones yet. So our parents couldn't harass us with calls. LOL
We only had to be home in the evening, when the church bells rang at 7:00. Of course, we didn't have our own clock.
We enjoyed this freedom - it was a wonderful childhood.
Greetings from Germany, Bavaria:-)
Hi @niederbayern-first841! Thank you for this little insight
this was totally normal in canada until the mid eightes when high profile serial killers in some areas targeted kids , scared everyone and folks gave up the rights of their kids to experience life. fyi one child was stolen from her house but i havent notice pple not buying houses.
Really?
That cannot be the only reason though... I live in Vienna not far from where Natascha Kampusch was abducted on her way to school in the late 90s (and then held captive for 8 years) but children still walk to school alone and play outside unattended starting age 6 or so. My older son is 8 and our parents group chat is full of "has anyone seen my child, they were supposed to come straight home after school?" and it always turns out that they were held up by a construction site or a puddle or a friend who wanted to swap stickers.
It's all about media coverage. If every child with a fatal or disabling accident at home was in the news nationwide, most kids would have to sleep on the streets.
@@annaf3915 the media here in Canada dominates but it not the only factor. We are over influenced by the US but our child policies and kindergarten are similar. We use the word kindergarten in Canada too!
This is very normal not only in Germany, but in every Western European country. I grew up in Belgium and I rode my bike to school from the age of 5. But truth be told, our streets are not filled with homeless drug users and nobody owns a gun. I don't think I would be able to give my kids the same amount of freedom if I were to raise them in the U.S.
Omg. Ofc it is normal for you because belgium is right next to it.
1:42 It should be mentioned that it is 65 % of the average net income over the last 12 months, but the amount tops at 1800 €, which can be a huge cut if one actually earns a lot more. This could be the reason why many tend to have shorter breaks from work.
every year all things gets updated to catch inflation, from public transportation tickets till swimming pool tickets. This cap of 1800 euros stays since I moved to Germany in 2016. And it was a reason why I didn't take even 2 months of parental. I was simple too short in Germany, finding flat, giving 3x kalt, buying furniture (even kitchen) to have savings so I can "uberleben"... Just warm Miete was 1500 back then in Munich. But those 1800 from 2016 are wort 2,263.54 euros today, so they even took almost 500 current euros! Nowdays I pay my warm 2233 euros so much worse situation. Educated people working in big expensive cities (I would like to be Machine learning engineer in some cheap village but it is not possible) are paying higher taxes but get punished when they became parents. That is one among many reasons why Germany lacks kids.
But still much better than any other country. And also should have been mentioned than in most jobs you are allow to change the contract to part time to have a more work life balance. Which again is very rare in other countries.
@@veronicagonzalez2346the conditions are really good, but just in theory. Unfortunately people that can’t have savings in order to take care of their kids have to go back to work or raise their kid in a very hard situation
@@veronicagonzalez2346 I am not sure if that is universal rigtht. I remember a lady in our company was refused for shorter working time. You could use your parental in a way to shorten your time, but after that no. Now that company has passed some limitations on number of employees it must give you part-time offer. But it is crude offering directly proportional to your gross salary and vacation. Many who took it (not only in my company) complain that you work 80% time for 80% of salary but you are expected to have 100% productivity.
In other countries you have better children support (kindergartens, krita and schools) and working time is at least an hour shorter. In my Serbia it is 9 to 5 with half hour brake which is a working time. It gives you 5 hours a week for yourself.
@@veronicagonzalez2346yeah but changing your contract to the part time is also mean that you will get less money and save less for your retirement
I'm German and grew up in the 80s in a town. True, we all went to school by ourselves and also to our hobbies. My parents wanted us to do one sport and one instrument. Unfortunately in my family and probably many others too , it was very patriarchial, we had no voice, that was very damaging. I lived in Switzerland and the UK for many years and was very surprised and disgusted how sexism and choleric men are still accepted in society in Germany. I see a lot of men who are now caring and spending time with their children though which gives me hope. But there are still so many women (mothers, grandmothers, kindergarden teachers) I hear speaking with their children in a very condescending manner. I wished our new generations would grow up with more self esteem but all that shaming and emotional abuse (which is not even often recognised as such cause it was so normalised in the parents own upbringing) breaks my heart to witness.
Boo-hoo, wah wah
This video shows that Germany is safe country to that extent which affect people's parenting.
People in Germany have always been more transparent and intuitive.
But I don't think it would be as easy for them here in the US. It's just a different social environment.
What are the main differences, in your opinion?
@@dweuromaxx The community in general.
I think people in Germany have always been on the same page. In terms of community goals and shared personality.
The United States just has a lot more resistance. The people who are already established in life are more focused on their own affairs. While questionable people never hesitate to exploit gaps in the system.
Which means people here who have difficulties in their life will always be ignored (or worse). But people in Germany already have a system in place to mitigate these difficulties.
Because of how proactive and detail-oriented they are.
It's a different social environment because people just say it's a different social environment in favor of changing it
@@vomm Some of us try. And it does make things better. But like I said: There's strong resistance against it.
It's really surprising how much stuff Americans let people get away with.
@dweuromaxx I'm german and lived in the US for two years (2019-2021) where I worked for three different host families in three different states (Massachusetts, California, New York). All families had in common that their children had a lot of appointments each day, so I had to drive them to a therapist, doctor or some sports event. The kids learned to ride their bikes solely to drive around in their neighborhood (or, in downtown San Francisco, just one block around the house), never further or to their school. It felt weird because all of a sudden, I was very dependent on having a car bc you can't go anywhere by bike unless you live in a big City. In Germany, I was so used to ride my bike everywhere around town
It should be mentioned that fathers have the same rights to take parental leave and it is encouraged by the state. If the father takes time of the family gets up to 2 extra months of parental pay. Sadly that means that most dads take one or 2 months of but don't really take over a significant part of raising the children. Only 10% take more time than the 2 months
Well, it COULD be used the other way around, the extra two months are not necessarily for fathers
Don't forget the time we live in... I'm not letting my kids wonder around the streets alone and I try to watch their every move and protect them intil they are strong and stable enough.
It seems like the right healthy way to raise a family. 😊
I think it is wonderful! However, in the USA, this would be a bit difficult, due to the fact that there are those who don’t have health care, there is no federal or state payment to families for time that they take off. So, we obsess about our children making sure that they are well, due to the fact that we couldn’t take off of work and take them to the doctor.
You have recognized the obvious mistake. The entire system in the USA is hostile to people and families. It's all about greed, exploitation and appearances.
But all of that COULD be changed in a rich democracy...
Toll und gesund 😊
Im an aussie when i was four i always went two houses down to my bestie then when i started primary school i just walked by myself granted it was 10min walk down the hill and a safe suburb but independence was instilled from a very young age 😊
Yup. The responsibility and trust thing. My parents said We don't raise children; we raise adults.
Children need support.
I live in Germany with the opportunity to observe the society. I work here, which makes me travel a lot across the country. I have a different opinion. I come from India, have studied and worked in the UK and Japan before moving here and work as a female in a highly male dominated environment (research and development)
1. My understanding is that the state (the extent differs) didnt invest sufficiently on child care which is the reason why many mothers stay home, work part-time, and never return to full time work. The reason is typically the men earn more and it's a wise financial decision for the household and, there's still a lot of social taboo in terms of men taking parental leave. I saw this first hand in multiple cases in my own workplace amidst men who are reasonably liberal.
2. Child care costs (very high) Vs. Kindergeld/parental leave compensation just don't add up. The extent to which it is bad depends on the federal state.
3. There's a tendency for schools and the state to overprotect children, which also seeps into parenting attitudes (helicopter parents). The number of homeworks that parents (not kids) get doesn't allow a woman to work. Dress up the kid that way, this way, special expensive socks, this food for this day, that event...most parents find it overwhelming!
5. Teachers and child care personal are paid poorly so they tend to do the minimum, try not get into legal trouble, push most work to the parents, precluding one of them from returning to work, usually mom.
5. Looking after children in childcare is limited in time, every extra hour even within standard working hours (830-1730) costs a lot of money. All extra curricular activities cost money, usually!
So, usually moms stay home, work part time. so much for feminism, and this is the trouble with the state apparentus and society, not (just) the men, largely.
6. Most children in school are not sufficiently occupied, don't learn enough, are behind most of their peers across the globe (India, Asia, in general), have very little discipline, responsibility, life experience inculcated in them. Most of them tend to grow up with an unrealistic world view and with "should bes" and are shocked at the real world. They cannot accept or make value out of pain, hardwork, suffering, rejection, negative emotions, etc. there's no balance achieved. These ideas that good and bad are part of life are not inculcated in brought up at any point. And, worse, most children grow up with little discipline, respect for authority, with the capability of thinking about the concept of freedom/using their freedom and privileges constructively.
One can routinely see this in public spaces where small kids, big kids, teenagers, all behave badly and uncontrollably. It's typical, and the rest of the society has to put up with it.
All in all, having seen this and having had a rosier view before moving to Germany about all this, for full time work, given the inflation, crazy prices, crazy housing costs, crazy German bureaucracy, despite being "high earners" in "hot tech" industries - my partner (he is German) and I are seriously thinking before making decisions to have kids.
You seem to have your own values that don't really overlap with those that are common in Germany. You see children "behaving badly", I see children living without unnecessary boundaries. You see "an unrealistic world view", I see potential for a generation that might have the courage and hope to change the world to the better. There is no value in pain, suffering, rejection - they are part of life though and one has to learn not to let them get under their skin. Life is hard enough even if we aren't constantly competing with each other. Let kids be kids, give them an appropriate amount of responsibility, let them set their own values and accept if they have different ones than you have. Pain and suffering will not skip them anyway, so why try to force them into the experience sooner than needed? It's like saying "you're going to be old at some point, so how about we put you in a care home now, just that you're prepared for it?" - that's just stupid. Yes, Asian and Indian children might outperform them and might even have a higher economic success down the road, but German children are definitely happier and have more trust in the world and self esteem than Asian and Indian ones.
Interesting, because my "stupid" views on this are actually elicited by German parents in my circles on an every day basis. The children are "happy" because they are no responsibilities, no accountability inculcated in them, they are uncontrollable and "get their way" and can't take no for an answer. Too many temptations in a consumerist society. The complaints on children not learning much, or getting taught the value of diligence, going through pain to pursue excellence is also from my german friends who want their children to be more skilled and prepared for facing the real world in a balanced way (navigating responsibility, duty and freedom) rather than grow up to be spoilt brats who think of nothing else but themselves (not exactly the generation we need to tackle the big challenges ahead).
The Asian children comparison also comes from German parents...who have travelled, worked and lived in Asia (see the positives and negatives of that culture too).
You should have show the average families that is more common to see in a daily life,like in the bigger cities for example.
You showed families that have a good financial condition, a big house in a small town and can afford what most of us can't.
I live for more than 30 years in one considered big town in north Germany, raised 3 children in a small apartment. Adult Germans are often not friendly to children and they make your life a nightmare, as they did to us.
Today my children are adults and I work at home, as day care. After living a nightmare in an apartment we could get a credit to buy a little house where we could have a bit peace. Meanwhile I'm divorced, my ex husband is retired with a very little income and I work at home in order to finish paying the house, the credit seams to have no end....
Here we have to work until 67 until we can get retired. In some cases can be with 63 but with much less money. In my case, if I work until 67 I'll receive 740€, gross salary.
In the bigger towns are hundreds, if not thousands of children without place in kindergarten. We don't have enough teachers in kindergartens and schools. Seams like Germany is going down in a high speed 😢
By the way, I'm not German 😊
I didn't go to work when my children were small because I couldn't speak German as is expected in order to have a good job. When they started going to kindergarten I went cleaning for few hours and some days I did German language courses. What we learn in our countries are not automatically recognized in Germany. First learn the language, then make some course to recognize your profession, after that you might get a proper job. Good luck! It's a damn difficult language! 🤯🤯🤯
But there were two families...maybe slightly above avarage income, but one in a city flat and one in a village house...
My parents are Albanian but they became German really fast after we moved here and when I moved out at 19 they were happy af like no Girl we are Albanian I should live there Till I marry or die
I am Albanian... was raised there until I was 26 and since 10 ears living in Germany. I do not agree with the way Germans raise their kids... in most cases there is a lack of love or lack of any sort of way of "disciplining" children. Most Germans I know have an emotional void which comes from their upbringing and most of them do not want to enter a relationship....which is an indicator of an unhealthy family life. Do I think that the Albanian upbringing is perfect? Noo.... absolutely not. But I will surely not cherish the day my children will leave home and I guess that in the future people will rethink living separately from one another as this is leading to a financial and mental issues among young adults, little children that are not raised from grandparents but in institutions that do not care about them, and parents and grandparents that end in retirement homes alone and unloved. My German boyfriend think the same and we hope we can live that type of life.
My mom is from the Balkans as well and I hate her parenting methods. I wish she was German. She's way too strict and I'm "not allowed" to move out even though I'm way too old to be living with her. I wish I have had a German mom :( It's so hard seeing these independent Germans with nice parents who accept boundaries. And there I am, completely dependent on my mom and a scared and anxious adult. I feel like many children of immigrants in Germany can relate.
@@amisam2215I think a healthy middle ground is the best. Yes some German parents are extremely cold and distant people. My German boyfriend is so detached from his mom that it's hard for him to say "Mama" to her. Which is not healthy at all. However, please don't make it harder for your future kids. Children need to be independent and they need to move out eventually. You should be proud of your children when they're independent. Give them the best support and I guarantee they will love visiting you and spending time with you. Make it hard for them, disrespect boundaries and raise them with fear and they will eventually drift away from you. My mom is like that - she never believed in me, thought I was too weak to be on my own. This creates resentment and even hate and it's not healthy.
And especially when you're living in Germany you should adapt to the German way of living. That doesn't mean you should ban everything that has to do with Albania! It means that you should not raise a child in Germany with the Albanian parenting style. Your child will befriend Germans and will resent you for not being brought up like their friends. Again, that doesn't mean you have to do everything German parents do. But it means that you should adapt. Your child will resent you if all their friends are super independent and your child is the only one who has to be home by 8 at age 16. It's not good to do this to your child. If you want to raise your child more Albanian than German then I recommend going back to Albania. Not in a racist way but in a "this could severely damage your child" way.
@@CondéBrudi I am a hustler and I did not come to Germany so that my children turn in to the average village looser or one of those thousands of lost German men that do not want any family, any responsibility etc etc and still play computer games in the 40's...or a daughter that can't cook Byrek or anything at all and does not want a family. Sorry but I have seen a lot. I hope my children will be strong since times in Germany are getting tough, especially since the last 10 years with this new wave of emigrants that have no concept of community, laws, rule and politeness etc etc. If you raise your children like snowflakes they will have no chance to survive in the new Germany. If you are old enough to move out of your parent's home just do it...i don't get the point why are you still a "captive" of your mom. I never asked my Albanian parents for major life's decision. When I wanted to move out I just did it and that was it. I don't know where do you come from but Albanian parenting style is not that strickt...my cousins in Albania have all moved out of their parents homes in their 20s and live separately. So maybe you have your own issues with your culture...as for Albanians from Albania parenting is not problematic.
Two weeks with your kid as a father.. That's what you get in the UK. This country does not want you to have children. Run
And nursery is 1.5k per month.. Everybody else please just stop whining. None of you know how bad it could be
You mean in the UK it’s hard to let kids go out on their own?
I've lived in 4 different countries & saw on the first day of school a sea of kids on bicycles, WOW I thought, absolutely wonderful. I too decided to cycle as much as I could when running errands, cycling in London or Athens is a kamikaze mission.
Its not a german way. Its just "not american".
Exactly. In many parts of Asia & Africa children have this kind of independence.
The Dutch & Danish too go to school by bicycle.
We are showing a portrait of one type of German parenting :) sadly we can’t show the world in one video 🤪
I agree, it's like that in many countries but not in all of Europe, not even mentioning other continents. I used to live in Spain where 10 year olds would never be allowed to take public transport alone, in Austria the minimum age is 6 and from that age on it's also normal to be out and about alone. My neighbor even sends her barely 5 year old to the supermarket for a few things (she cannot read or write yet so just the amount the can remember ;-))
DW is really a rasict channel. Why in the video there are only white/blonde children? Ich will report it to the governemnt. Just for your info. @@dweuromaxx
What i love in Europe is safety. You can walk or bike anywhere and anytime without worry that you will be abducted. That’s why kids are always enjoying outside even adults ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi @bebecooks244! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
You are living in a Dream world 😂
In Germany, people can go out of their homes without worry that someone will shoot them or harm them.
So parents has faith their children are safe and can do what they want.
I live in Chicago I would be worry all the time because they are walking alone to the school, a lot car accidents, a lot kidnapping, a lot shootings and a lot child predators
That is such an aweful environment to live in.
It’s awesome !!
Tienen que prepararlos para que estén listos para su sociedad tan individualista. Lo se potque vivo acá.
Up until the age of 11, I finished school around lunchtime every day. I was a fast learner, so I never had to study or do homework for long. All I did the rest of the day was run around outside with my friends :)
A high quality of life is achievable when responsible adults manage society effectively. Unfortunately, many children in underdeveloped countries miss out on such opportunities because those in power lack integrity in handling wealth.
I'm German and i can say it is more a European thing,as only Germany. They do it almost the same Way in Austria,Switzerland,Norway,Sweden etc.
Very nice report
Thanks! :)
Yes, my grandmother didn't even allow me to vacuum or wash clothes as she feared I'd break the appliances as we're so poor, now I am a young adult who can't do anything. I also haven't gotten to bake things either and have almost burned down the apartment every time I've tried so far.
Amazing, ❤
Well, I am German and I think its important to be Independent.
But in my neighbourhood its more and more like in the US
People in Russia used to live in rush, therefore Germans have more prudent environment with pure German culture domination. Apparently, logic and comfort are basic components of children independence.
Day care centers are called kindergardens in Germany
Wow....
I found kindergardens in the US which named as kindergarden, so I was happy to find out where the name came from.
While camping in Europe mostly in the summer, kids more uneducated than the german ones i have never seen. They pay no attention to the others, shout, hit, scream, bump into you never saying sorry, aso.
One thing is not to be a helicopter parent and another one is to give the child the education he needs while in society.
As an American I don’t really see the point in giving that much independence and freedom at such a young age. They are already at school for 8 hours a day, why push for more time away from the family unit? Until they are older it is the parents job to instill strong values in them so when they are required to be more active in the real world they’ve got a strong foundation to build off of. I don’t need the world raising my kids.
the whole point about AUTONMY IS TO ALLOW THEM TO GET AWAY FROM THE FAMILY UNIT. the strong values that they get are the ones that they want. you help them build a foundation from a young age. there is a reason why youth happiness is high in Germany. TEENAGERS DONT LIKE TO SPEND TIME WITH THEIR FAMILY
@@krisshnapeswanipeswani3190
Are you 13? 😂
There are a lot of immigrants in Germany now? How do they influence native German values, culture, ideas, and language? DW, please explore.
They don't. People make up their own minds, especially when it comes to important decisions in life, like raising children. A changing environment doesn't change values, even if it might change behavior. And there is no such thing as "native" values, not in a globalized world where you have access to information and freedom of choice.
DW euromaxx, you picked now exampleary familiys how it would be in best case scenario, i would like you to show familiys that are not well off areas or problem areas to have a contrast.
Thank you for your comment. It’s indeed important to show a multifaceted story, which is why this video is part of a wider series on parenting 🧑🧑🧒🧒
Unfortunately in the majority of the USA, we’ve built places that isolate kids and give them no safe routes for independence to the places displayed here, parks, ponds, sports fields, friends houses, school - roads need to be slowed down, shared, and made to realize they aren’t just for cars. Most kids need a bus or parent chauffeur to get them to these places. Make a decisions to raise your kids in a place that’s easy for them to play and interact independently
I grew up in Germany and had to get everywhere on my own. I would have loved to have a parent chauffeur but my mom didn’t even have a car for the majority of my childhood.
Wow. Das ist einfach mal eine glorreiche Abbildung von einer Familie, die im oberen Segment (die oberen 40%) des Einkommens innerhalb der BRD liegt.
SO REALISTISCH.
Warum denkst du das ? Ja das Haus ist toll aber das hat ja nicht so viel mit der Art der Erziehung zu tun .
Spending time with your children in the first years of their life is the best thing that has ever happened to me!🤍
No two people (parent and child) are the same though. My older child started daycare at 2 and a half years and might have benefitted from waiting another year. He was happy doing puzzles and playing with his train set at home, then going to the playground in the afternoons to meet some other children. Being around 10 or even 15 little children from 9 to 3 Monday to Friday really wore him out...
So with my younger child, my plan was to keep him home for longer. But he got so restless at home and tore up the place as soon as he could crawl. He always wanted to go ouside looking for other children and ran into my older son's kindergarten room whenever we picked him up, started to play and refused to leave, so in the end I sent him even before he turned two, and he loved it.
Even German kids are so tall. I am a man with 5'4" height
It would have been good to highlight the differences east to west, which is not really elucidated with the Berlin family, for example, why the daycare is free versus the other mother who stays home to cook lunch. The role of the father and mother still differ across this divide.
Why don't you show families that are living from minimum wages as exemple?
Thank you for your comment. The video is part of a series that will cover a wider variety of demographics.
Because that’s not representative of everyone.
"All children are entitled to a place in daycare" - well... theoretically. If there are enough places. Often you are lucky if you get a daycare place for the time from 7:30 am to noon. No enough for both parents to work.
True. My colleague in Berlin, she was waiting 2 years for a vacant place in the kindergarten. But i don't know how the situation in other cities (Hamburg ?) is...
That’s horrible.
@@k.s.421If she is offered nothing at all, I think she can sue for conpensation
@@k.s.421its terrible at least here in Mainz, if you want to work when your child is under 2. The City doesnt have enough child care places but are legally obligated to offer you one. But if you sue them for child care, they can just force you take private child care which is partielly Sponsored by the city but we have to pay the Additional amount. So instead of paying 600 Euro, we have to pay 1400
As a foreigner living in Germany for the last 11 years and who has children here, this video is definitely showing a pink glasses version of reality, applying to only few people. Most men, who take the parental leave take indeed only 2 months. Getting a day care place after 1 is like applying for Harward and in most places lately is 6 hours a day. My child is already 5 and still hasn't got a spot and is definitely not the only one. This forces mothers to stay at home and be house wives. Better than America? Almost anywhere it is. Happy parents, living in large houses, equally taking care of their children, while enjoying an amazing educational system? Give me a break, that's a minority.
It's actually pretty normal for kids to be this independent in India and other parts of Asia like China, Thailand and Philippines, etc.
But maybe this video only concerns about western kids.
It’s focussed on German kids :)
Did you even watch the video? It was clearly stated multiple times it's a comparition between the US and Germany
Truely, it would be interesting to learn about other continents. They are hardly ever suggested to me by YT...
@@vomm Hello smarty pants. This is the first line of description of this video :
"Do kids in Germany show more personal responsibility than children in other countries?"
In which book of yours countries means only US ?
@@shanky-j3r As I've said, it's mentionend in the video multiple times! The description is not the video.
Where are my Brazil parents, lol? In Brazil, almost in all regions of the country, parents still takes a 19 year old kid to school. Majority of Brazilian kids are dependent up until they get to college. It's even more pronounced among the elites of the country. Could this be as a result of crime or insecurity ? These and many more begs for answer.
I'm curious to know that since this mother works par -time how does this effect her retirement, Social Security etc. upon retirement?
Yes, it does! often women have a much lower retirement and end up being dependent from their husband
@@s.b.e.6917 For decades now motherhood is recognized as "working time" regarding retirement and social security.
@@peter_meyer Not true. Women with children, they still have disadvantages later with their pension. You only get a minimum part (called "Elternzeit") as a plus to your retirement. But no comparison to a full time working women...
When it comes to retirement, there is a point system and normally during marriage it's split 50/50 between spouses no matter who is working or how much (up until the point you get divorced). Every other social service is measured on your income, so that brings high risks for the parent who has/decides to work less.
I wish my parents had been more like the Strootmans. I had to study a lot and go to tutoring.
The most important is the outcome. Are Germans happier, healthier, and is their society better? Take a look at their overall mental health, for example. Is it any better that, let's say the USA? Also, have them send their kids here to school in the USA and let them walk, ride their bike, or take the bus on their own and see how that turns out.
After living in a few different countries I have come to the conclusion that no society is better as such. Same human problems seem to exist even when children grow up in safe societies where they can be independent or social welfare systems are better etc. It's almost sad actually because living in Finland I am sometimes like and this is supposedly the happiest country in the world - not a lot to aspire to.
More and more I think what we should be aiming for is are we bringing up people who are kind and want to bring good to the world - because that definitely seems infinitely more important to the world at this point in time.
The germans are due to their society and their problems very depressed people.
Vivo en Alemania te puedo decir que la gente aquí se tira a las vías del tren muy a menudo por depresión.😢 Por lo que noto la gente no es solidaria y empatica. En cuanto a los niños son independientes pero más que nada los veo muy solos los padres no son afectivos. Si un niño se cae en la calle el padre alemán simplemente lo mirara o lo dejara llorar horas y horas, varias veces he visto este comportamiento lamentablemente. Pero bueno son culturas.
@@gigisama puede ser la falta de exposicion solar y vit D.
Female parenting is a very strong argument as I couldn't find any convincing answer to replace it with male parenting. Can anyone in the world give any argument in support of male parenting instead of a female. Regards
It's not for replacement, it's for sharing. Fathers can get payed time off from work too.
No no iam not concerned about money but nature designed women as ideal for parenting because physiology, psychology and strange attachment between mom and kids and this can't be replaced by man. Regards@@mofi2342
I went to school all by myself from the age of 6 onwards. What is the issue?
I am from India. I think my parents also gave some responsibility in cooking and all.
I agree with the "it's just not american". My primary school Ive done it in peru considered third world blabla and we all used to go to school alone since we were 7 or 8.
if you have good healthcare and social safety net, these kind of thing is achieveable, unless you prefer tax cuts or tax exemptions
I grew up in Germany. The families portrayed in this video seem to be upper middle class. Both parents have to work to afford this lifestyle. Daycare seems to teach things that the parents should teach their children. It is not mentioned that they have to send the kids to school as homeschooling is illegal. The state is raising the children from the age of 1 as they are in daycare and public school. There are few private schools. There is less crime - especially in the areas those families seem to live in.
That’s just misleading. You can send very young kids to daycare, but that’s not mandatory or even something that most people especially in more rural areas do. Some don’t go at all to kindergarten, some only start at 3 or 4 and it’s not as structured as in the USA. It’s a place to play with other kids, do crafts and learn basic skills like how to hold a pen or a scissor. School starts when the kids are 6 or 7 and although schooling is mandatory private schools exist and are mostly not that expensive. I don’t know where people get the whole “the state is raising the kids” scare from. It’s just school and people have more than enough time to teach their kids what they consider “necessary” at home be it specific values, religious beliefs or additional skills.
@@lisal5718 If parents have to send their kids to school for 6-8 hours a day when are they going to teach the kids? All day school and after school care are common in Germany now. Kids are in school from 8-4. Then there is homework and dinner. They spend more time with their teachers than with their parents.
@@mylifeintheusa4720In primary school, the lessons go from ca. 8-12 o clock. That's not long. Then it's the parents choice if the kids come home for the rest of the day or stay in care in school (Offene Ganztagsschule). It's a choice of raise your kid and don't have that much money or let your kid stay in care and have more money, because you have time to work in the afternoon.
@@lisal5718 Of course the state is raising them- they spend most of their waking hours there. If you don't teach them actively, they catch the lessons. The question is, are they learning what we intend for them to learn or something else... This video makes me very sad. You can dress it up anyway you like but society is farming children out at such a young age and making them 'self sufficient' to accomodate adults' desires for more material wealth or to make ends meet depending on where you sit on the socioeconomic scale. There is a world of difference between children able to perform self care tasks and amuse themselves and living 'independently' for the convenience of society. What Germany gains in shared parental leave, it loses in lack of choice for families. The state is so over involved in the citizen's lives.
@@bbee674
I am from Germany and I agree to a certain extend with you. I don't fully agree with mandetory school.
Germans don't doubt as much what is taught in school. They trust that the school will prepare the kids for work life.
I gerally think the idea of school is awesome, but in my opinion it should be more a place to explore and meet other kids and have less strict rules. And not be mandetory.
There is one aspect which I can see a benefit in madetory school and thats for children in ineffecive maybe even abusive familys.
Firsrt of all it is easier to notice abuse cause the kids are every day in school and secondly the kids have some structure and help.
But with the independence and freedom in an earlier age I fully agree. I never been in the States, so I can speek for the safety aspect there.
But I can tell you that Parents in Germany are usually really caring.
I don't exactly know what you mean by self car tasks, but yeah kids bruah there on teeth from a certain age 😂
The kids becoming more independent is not about accomodating adults, it is about being a kid.
When i grew up it was normal that I would play for hours with the other kids outside in the neighbourhood. We would run around, play hide and seek etc.
Children cannot go fishing in Germany. They might be able to pay at a special lake but no one can just go fishing in germany. There is a strict test.
This is interesting. In America, you need a license to go fishing, but all it involves is paying a fee; there is no test. And in most states, children under a certain age don't need a license (in my state it's 16). What are people tested on to fish in Germany? The rules? Or is it something else?
They can, if they are with someone with a fishing license. (Yes, you need a license. It's Germany.)
@@JohnWilson-hc5wq well, first of all you need to know the different fish species, the protection and/or spawning times, minimum sizes asf. Back when i did my license, we even had to prove our abilities with the fishing rod.
@@peter_meyer Wow. I don't think any US state is that comprehensive. Here you just pay the fee and they give you a book with the rules when you get your license, but there's no test on knowing them or how to identify species.
I'm from Germany and my father was only at home every weekend bc of work and my mum was a stay at home mum taking care of the children. This is completely fine. But in my opinion it is stupid to say that children in Germany are more independent. I don't believe this.
Compared to the US and Canada, they are. Maybe not compared to the rest of Europe.
They are at least more independent than here in England. Before my children were allowed to go home after school by themselves we needed to talk to the headteacher. It is very unlikely for children younger than 10yrs going home on their own.
@@jennyfinck7779 That sounds like the US, but only in modern times. In the 1970s and 1980s, it was normal for kids to walk to and from school alone, if they lived within one mile (1.6 km) of the school, from age 5 or 6. Nowadays, depending on the locality, it's more like age 11 or 12 before they can be outside alone. In most places, it's not a law, but the culture has become paranoid because of high-profile kidnappings, murders, etc., and people believe they are way more common than they really are.
I think this is quite similar to Australia
It’s not a fair comparison… my parents survived the trauma of the WWII so understandable that they are more protective given the motility and justice of that time. I think the independence is a privilege, not done to brag about. The child abduction is also not to be taken lightly. I raised my own kids to be independent but always watched from afar, and do my best to provide stability and safety net while they explored & be independent…. Ultimate goal of every parent.
What are the toys shown in this video? Never seen these two wooden toys before. Someone please link!
1:25 Eisern Union 🛡️
What income bracket they fall in? Its good very good hands on learning is important. 📧
I love to be independent
My boss (at a US university) was in the process of closing on his house. There was some issue and he called his dad to step in and help. By contrast, I left Germany at 18 and was on my own; no parents to call and help out. And here my boss in his 40s is calling on daddy to help.
Well, its like having an advice of someobe more experienced. It has nothing to do with independence or growing up in germany or wherever.
I am 40, my parents are also the first people I call upon when in need as they do with me. It's called being a family. Don't you like being there for people, lend a helping hand to a friend or even a stranger?
Waht is difrend in Other countrys?
Explore Estonia. The kids are even more independent than Germans.
Thanks for the tip!
Most children are not happy though being put into daycare before 3 years old…. Usually they start to play with other children at around 3 years old. Before that they play NEXT to each other. They seem totally lost and overwhelmed. No wonder many children when they grow up an become youngsters or adults they don’t want to have anything to do with their parents…..
The state spends a lot ensuring their Safety. German kids are not more independent than African or Chinese kids. Their environment is very secure and that is why they seem independent. Very lagging on the financial independence scale
My parents are africans, but they moved to germany 🇩🇪. First my mom moved and gave birth to my sister, then 9 years later i was born in the United States 🇺🇸, then i came as a newborn to germany and got my german passport ( also american passport). My father stayed in germany and cameroon, so he wasn’t really living with us! Then between 2016-2019 he officially moved in with us, but he isn’t really german!
This is why German nationality laws have to change. Or rather go back to how they were before.
If life is so great why does everyone around look so depressed all the time?
EVERYBODY IS FOOLISH!
There's no such thing as a good life because life is all about slavery to the meat suit and the environment. A slave life can never be good unless you have no standards for yourself.
I disagree. I dealt with German youth on volunteering travels overseas. Wow, they were demanding and not trained to be independent. I cursed their parents back home. They are too busy with the careers and money worries, while neglecting child rearing. Just like anywhere.
Ja dat sieht man hier allet als das Lehrbuch-Beispiel, aber es gibt sooo viele Familien die so ein Leben ihren Kindern besorgen wollen aber eines Tages erklären müssen: mein Kind, was? Wo fährt deine Klassenkameradin hin? Wir können höchstens am Arendsee 4 Tage entspannen wenn mir die Urlaubstage noch nicht mieser verteilt werden. Jaa ich weiß dass du am liebsten die Kunstakademie besuchen würdest und ich bin überzeugt dass du das abschließend würdest aber ich werde weder jünger noch stärker und du musst noch iwie selbstständig überleben. So bitte liebe/r Zuschauer/in lass dich nich täuschen
Thanks for the video. However: The music you added is bloody annoying - it's much too loud and it actually is superfluous in general because it adds nothing to the content - apert from being obnoxious.
Thanks for your comment. Will pass on the feedback.
my mother wouldnt habe the time to drive me to school and pick me up everyday?
So the kids go to school for 1/2 the day?
Yes usually they come home at around 1 or 2, but sometimes and depending on their grade they have school until 3
Yes which is great for the kids, but disastrous when both parents work full time.
@@deepsburleThere are places where they can stay after school. Sort of like daycare for older kids, where they have lunch, do their homework and play. This can be within the school or a separate institution.
@@LettersFromAFriend its just so difficult to find a spot in such daycares in cities like Munich. There is one Hort spot for every 10 kids going to primary school.
@@deepsburle Oh, I didn't know that... It's not a problem here in Lower Saxony (so I assumed you were a non-German, I did not realise it was so different in another part of Germany). It is unusual here to let your primary school kids come home at noon. Quite often they go to Hort even if a parent is at home simply because it's normal to go.
I did not understand what is so particular about it.
Aww, all the goody goody stories. No mention of staggeringly high rental discrimination, homogeneous corporate world, exodus of skilled migrants, absence of any meaningful anti-discrimination law. Life is not that easy, if you are a Chinese PhD student or Indian SAP developer.
You are right! I have a PhD from Oxford, came to Germany fluent in the language and can only find part-time, hourly paid work.
@@Abigail-nc6in Germany hires non-Germans (irrespective of permit status or qualification) when a suitable German is not found, do not want to do in offered salary, i.e. foreigner candidate is dirt cheap. Typically plug-and-play IT workers from third world outsourcing locations.
You are so right. I find a lot of racism too in Germany. They will never let you get top positions, only the worker roles under them.
The commentator claims “two very different families” 😂 but they were almost identical their locations were the only difference!
Looking at kids in Berlin, they are clearny not doing anything better... Worst parenting ever.
What do you mean?
There are thousands of father who are not seeing their kids just the judiciary only wants their money to be sent to the mother and kids who looks after them..
alienated father
in my opinion they are more avoidant, not more independent
Emotionally avoidant, do you mean?
@@dweuromaxx Several studies suggest that avoidant attachment styles are more common in Northern European countries, especially in Germany, compared to other regions. This tendency is partly attributed to cultural child-rearing practices that emphasize independence and self-reliance. In Germany, for instance, the high proportion of avoidant attachment styles (up to 52% in certain studies) has been linked to parenting approaches that encourage early autonomy, leading children to rely less on caregivers for comfort and security. This is quite distinct from cultures like Japan, where more anxious attachment styles prevail, as Japanese child-rearing often involves high caregiver involvement and close physical proximity.
@@JuanLopez-vu7oo I grew up very independent and still have a close bond to my parents and had a lot of comfort too. Giving your child independence does not equal negligence.
@@numivis7807 good for you! I agree
It doesnt matter how cool the kindergarten concept is, there are multiple studies that show no benefit whatsoever to send kids this young to day care. Children should be home with their caregivers (mom or dad) until 3. Dont shoot the messenger, ask any child psychologist
You read only surveys you like 😅...there are others.i Was a stay at home Mom but my grandchildren are in daycare from 12month on...they are school kids now and are happy healthy and almost like my children in former times.
Entitled to day care from 1. What a joke. There is such shortage of kita and KG not everyone gets a seat either.
Sorry, what do you mean by that? Shortage of what, exactly?
Simple, because children in Germany Don't get kidnap like in others countries
No, they run away from home and live on the streets
I'm sorry but this type of voiceover narration is irritating.
lots of good parenting tips from German culture. But, they stuffed their emotions and struggle whole life to express emotions. I lived there for 8 yrs and know quite well.
Are people more emotionally open where you're from?
@ yes
Germany pays unemployed and their manufacturing industry, especially automotive is going down, they won't be able to sustain their social Security expenses in a few years from now
I like the idea of independence and competence. not assuming danger when a known adult is not around!