Meanwhile... Stephen Guesses How 9,000 Year Old Chinese Beer Tasted
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
- Meanwhile... Archeologists unearthed evidence of beer drinking among artifacts that date back 9,000 years. Stephen has a good guess as to what that ancient brew tasted like. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
Bringing back the mammoth just in time for the ice sheets to melt. Great timing, fellas.
You got something against cheap fur coats?
Just in time to be the next Washington football team name and mascot 🤣🦣
Doctor: OMG what a break through in science...
Patient: Have they found a cure for my cancer?
Doctor: What? No... But they now know how to resurrect a woolly mammoth from 10,000 years ago! SMH😞
It's alright tho, cuz the ice will be in the desert.
Next they're gonna bring back ice.
Y'all remember ice?
Great last joke for Norm. Very solid but subtle. "Up there or where ever!" Lol GG
No better eulogy than a gag chosen with care fit for the man himself, rather than platitudes for the audience.
See also: G.G. Allin's 'funeral'. Pretty much the gold standard for a perfect match.
feels like a nice call back to Carlin's "maybe he's down there..." skit too
@@blacksnow7106It also reminds me of Norm talking David Brenner after he died. "He's probably watching from up th... actually probably from down below getting raped by the devil."
I loved it. He almost let us think he was ending it on a bummer like 'The comedy world is poorer.'
no time for bird sex, norm's got to fly
RIP Norm, you were/are the greatest. That cancer is a real jerk.
“You don’t lose the fight to cancer. When you die, the cancer dies. It’s a draw.”
-Norm
R.I.P. Norm. Thanks Steve, well said.
Norm fought cancer to a draw. If he was going down, he'll take cancer with him. RIP.
You know?
The more I learn about this 'cancer' stuff, the less I care for it.
I don't want to be insensitive, but isn't that everyone with cancer?
@@Illlium excellent example of a Norm McDonald joke about people fighting cancer 👍
This guy Norms.
@@Illlium not if some people survive…
Colbert is such a genius and a treasure!
His words about Norm MacDonald were among the nicest memorial I have ever heard.
I already miss you Norm and I love you Stephen.
Dead people can't read. They're too busy doing dead people stuff.
Norm was one the funniest people to ever walk this planet.
R.I.P Norm, your legacy will live forever.
Oh man. Amen dude.
What an absolute legend. Best of the best.
Norm had a sorta strange sense of humor, but I really liked it because it was different, yet still funny as Hell. I will certainly miss him/that.
never heard of her
Technically, a hot dog is a sandwich. BUT if someone offers me a "sandwich", then presents me with a hot dog, I will question why I'm hanging out with that person.
A hot dog bun does not constitute slices of bread, which defines what a sandwich is. Therefore a hot dog is not a sandwich.
@@calvinchann1996 Then is a sub a sandwich?
@@Aphonydissent not until the bread is split?
@@calvinchann1996 The definition of sandwich includes a split roll. A hotdog is a sandwich. Josh, Nicole, and myself will see you in the parking lot.
@@calvinchann1996 so a sub isn't a sandwich?
I’m very glad Norm is so acknowledged.
I feel like your comment about Norm being the only only who could get away with a joke about Norm right now, was a beautiful testament to his career! He will be missed.
RIP Norm... Such a great and friendly man. You will be missed
So we’re bringing back the Wooly Mammoths, an animal from the Ice Age, just in time for us to finish melting all the icecaps. So…..yay?
We're doing it to really screw with the aliens that'll be picking through the ruins of our civilizations in a hundred years.
IKR????? What are we thinking? ARE we thinking????
Norm MacDonald's "Weekend Update" was my favorite too. His "Burt Reynolds" was classic and his talk show appearances were hilarious. Norm was quick and funny. I'm going to miss him.
💔
Burt Reynolds non impressions were priceless. On live tv and committing. Awesome comic.
It's funny because it's bigger than a normal hat
Norm Mcdonald had a joke heyaheyaho. RIP
@@niacal4nia I'm the only one who gets what you mean lol 😆
@@ichijofestival2576 RIP Turd Ferguson
The last story deserved its own Meanwhile sub-segment: Holocene-while.
Norm would have said about himself, "The poor bastard is dead And he owed me money. What an SOB!"... Final laugh is on me HA HA HA!
I’m fairly certain that he would absolutely say that, lmao! His humour was dark and deadpan and it was so funny! He’ll be missed so much. One of the best Canadian comics there ever was!!
Yeah, the Wooly Mammouth is not what we need right now....should be looking for something that thrives in floods and fires.
So... more Republicans? Noooo thanks!
it actually is... They can save the permafrost
The Asbestos Alligator?
Real life Vaporeons and Charizards. There you go. Get to it science....
Rest well, my good Sir.
#RIPNorm
This isn't even bringing back the mammoth; It's adding mammoth features to an elephant. It's basically turning it into a giant poodle. Forget resurrecting the mammoth; Let's try to recreate that beer!
Ok
Well it's not like it it can be any worse than Budweiser or Coors.
Nah, remember that the mammoths evolved from non-cold adapted elephants. It's essentially doing the same process artificially.
Giant elephant poodle that sounds adorable but in actuality probably would look like a freak of nature lol
If I'm not mistaken the plan is reversing the development and modifying the genes to return atavisms (lost ancestral traits)
In monophyletic taxonomy all lines are still of their ancestry because you can not grow out of ancestry, so Homo sapiens are still Catarrhini (Old World Monkey), Sarcopterygii, Deuterostomia, Eukaryota etc, because those are the clades of your ancestry. Just like if your great great great grandmother was a Johnson or Smith than so are you irrelevant to your surname.
It's reengaging atavisms. Returning the Wooly Mammoths is not a new idea
Love you Norm! Rest in peace and keep the big guy laughing.
Of course Portland named its new bridge for a Simpson's character, that character is named for a Portland street. Matt Groening is a Portland native, and his murals decorate the high school he went to, Lincoln. Many Simpson's characters get their names from Portland streets, Lovejoy, Terwilliger, Kearney, Flanders, Quimby, Van Houten and Burnside.
Dude I am so heart broken. Norm helped me through some seriously dark moments in my life. I will miss you dearly.
He was the literal best.
Also, I'll save you the click and just tell you that dude's link leads to the most boring video of clouds ⛅going by, wordlessly, I've ever seen.
Well I mean and the ONLY video of clouds going by being silently filmed in the backyard of an Indian 🇮🇳 farm I've ever seen.
I don't seek that kinda stuff out... if you're into silent cloud stuff, by all means click that link Jon spammed all over the comment section.
I gotta stop just clicking stuff out of curiosity.. 🤦♂️
@@WhitneyHaverstock doing the hard work for the rest of us. Much appreciated.
I like your alternative to Seth Meyer's Corrections segment. I like his too though, don't get me wrong. My jackal paws can't get enough of it.
A fellow jackal here...😁...v
I thought the same thing! The jackals are spreading… someone should tell Seth about this… 🤔
Came here looking for fellow jackals and I wasn't disappointed 🐾🐾
RIP Norm MacDonald! 😢
Right??
😭😭😭
My fave Norm MacDonald bits were his appearances on Conan. The joke wasn't the joke; It was Conan's reactions TO the 40-minute jokes with the impossibly lame punchlines. RIP!
Ok
“Because the light was on.”
I loved Norm! I went to see him in 1985 at a comedy club in Raleigh, NC. His go-to joke was about cutting someone up and putting them into a duffle bag. I, too, love dark humor 😏
Sincere condolences to Norm’s family and friends…
I was literally watching an older Conan and Norm video directly before this one, and then I learn that he’s passed. RIP
If only we had some idea what could go wrong with genetically designing dinosaurs to bring them back. Let's ask Jeff Goldblum.
I'm glad that our scientific community isn't informed by a 20 year old action movie. I saw Demolition Man again the other day and that didn't age well.
@@ImpmanPDX. You figure out The 3 Sea Shell's?
@@ImpmanPDX Don’t be so confident bout scientist. Some will push the envelope. I’m a biologist & I consider this unethical & dangerous.
@@magnusmadkrantz147 What's funny is I grew up on a sailboat. Using a seashell for a cup is pretty normal. I always assumed it was one for the front, one for the back and one for the face.
@@dshepherd107 That, and also the question of whether those "resurrected" Mammuth will be able to live under current conditions.
"No one can pull off a Norm MacDonald is dead joke."
Pulls off a classy joke himself.
Not sure why the audience clapped when he said the only one that can do that is Norm himself.
@@meganbarber3599 lol I think they were moved but unsure how to react to it.
@@meganbarber3599 Because it's true AND similar to the way Norm would have delivered a joke. Many times Norm's audience wasn't even sure to react, but they always did.
Someone needs to send those scientists a copy of Jurassic Park.
I doubt Chinese beer will bite your head off.
The project to bring back the wooly mammoth is an old idea by now. Some people literally do want to bring back some dinosaurs
@@whatabouttheearth Psst. Wooly mammoths are not dinosaurs.
@@zoeherriot Psst, that's irrelevant, nobody actually said they were
Don't do that! You might inspire them.
6:30 the jackals are coming for you, Stephen. We're everywhere.
Agreed, we are everywhere! The jackals...v
I have heard a lot of high praise of Norm recently, but hearing about him looking after newbies at his job probably says the most about his character.
yeah yeah yeah norm was a good girl mama's apple pie the fourth of july HE WAS A HOOKAH!
Maybe they should try to save the current species going extinct right now.
Current species are all played out, we clearly new a brand new animal, there's only like what, millions of them?
returning mammoths to the ecosystems our ancestors forcefully removed them from might actually benefit the local species greatly
@@iilikecereal how about we stop removing the ecosystems first? no? ok
@@Illlium
Why not work on both. Parallel problem solving is superior to linear, and often you can help solve one problem by working on another. It's called synergy, and is one of the most important factors in modern development.
Also, solving the issue of biotope destruction is very hard and expensive. So if we hold off on trying to solve anything until we've solved that, then we are unlikely to ever solve anything.
Holy. . . holy cow. I thought I was the one of the only folks left on Earth who thought that way Mr./and. Sorkxxor!!
Budweiser is probably less qualified for the name 'beer' than that mystery tuber brew.
Budweiser would not pass the Bavarian Purity law. . .
RIP Norm McDonald.....
I'll always remember your Voice Acting for Pigeon in Mike Tyson's mysteries, by _far_ my favorite character
I liked how Norm's jokes were sometimes so dry that they would mummify the audience.
You've got Norm McDonald dead to rights.
Like being slapped upside the head with a funny stick a bit too hard. Your brain just can't process it right...
It was really sad hearing about Norm today. That guy was really funny and his delivery was really unique. He will be missed.
Agreed. I liked how some of his jokes had like intentionally terrible punch lines, but the rambling delivery that got you there was hilarious
I knew Norm was very ill. His face was getting puffy, a sign of steroids and chemo. The man never played on his illness. Never let on how sick he was. What a great guy. 👍
Not letting people know you're deathly Ill, doesnt make you great. It makes you tough and maybe stupid. My father died of cancer a week ago. It is brutal and most of us can use compassion and sympathy.
I just hope norm didnt suffer the way slot of cancer patients do.
Yeah I saw him do a live show about 5 years ago. He looked haggard; I had no idea he was sick. RIP
@@gladlawson61 I am sorry for your loss, I just buried my grandmother (and got COVID for it despite being fully vaxed and masked) Life is not fair and sometimes things suck. Everyone deals with their own situation in their own way, and I hope you are dealing well with yours.
BUT, According to Norm's close friends who did know, he didn't want the story to become about that. He wanted to live his life without being defined by the cancer. That makes him neither great nor stupid, it makes him a human who wanted to exert what control he could over the situation.
What's sad to me is that you assume a separate sentence "What a great guy." is connected to the previous one. If you feel a need to speak ill of the dead, fine, you do that, but don't be surprised when you get push back for it.
@@gladlawson61 I'm sorry for your loss. My point was he did play for sympathy from us. You know he has a strong family and hiw dare you call him stupid. You need to look I nto yourself. I've list several family to cancer and I've survived cancer. You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.
5:28 - “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.”
-Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum)
Norm MacDonald at the roast of Bob Saget was one of the greatest things ever.
Link please
@@adarshjkalathil Here you go bud: ua-cam.com/video/u7XlnMxE08A/v-deo.html
@@adarshjkalathil Even better: ua-cam.com/video/8QfsXUPghXk/v-deo.html
@@ErickTun thank u
Only thing on his mind…..
Is a hat.
Get it?
Bc he has a hat.
Maybe, instead of genetically engineering elephants into Woolly Mammoths, (Which is not really "bringing back" the Woolly Mammoth, IMO.) we could put a little effort into preventing the elephants that currently live on Earth from going extinct? Heck, maybe sew a bunch of elephant sized winter coats, and send a bunch of them to Alaska. You'd still have cold weather elephants, but at a fraction of the price.
Yeah, I put this "effort" into the same category as trying to colonize space-- it's playing with a fantasy instead of actually taking care of our planet.
"Is a hotdog a sandwich?" ---- Unexpected Good Mythical Morning.
Oi! It sure is!
..but is it real food 🤔
@@MrBryan559 the bun is a single piece, thus it is a taco
@@dragon12234 a taco is like a sub sandwich, just different filling and bread
@@dragon12234 sushi is a 'pinwheel sandwich'
Whenever I watch this show I always remember Mr. Robert Antonio the famous Crypto Enthusiast. such transparency is rare these days.
I'm amazed how you also know the famous Crypto Enthusiast Mr Robert Antonio. I'm so enjoying every bit of my trade session with him.
I made $5728 In two days with Mr. Robert Antonio. indeed his full of surprises. I enjoyed every bit of my trade session too.
I've really heard so much about this Mr. Robert Antonio and his good works. indeed he has really made a good name for himself.
I'm also a beneficiary of this Good deeds. In two days I made $8633.
I've really heard so much about Mr. Robert Antonio. how do I contact him?
Turn your porch light on for Norm.
6:28 - Stephen's 'okay' sounds like the one from the meme lol
When people stop saying "Happy Memorial Day," I'll start saying whatever the hell they want me to say for whatever holiday they want.
I absolutely adore you, Stephen Colbert! Almost as much as I do, Evie. #heartyoustephenmeanit
Norm McDonald was a legend. Rest In Peace
Love Stephen's take on Corrections...
For those outside NY, “Price Chopper” is like Shop-Rite or Safeway.
Now it wants to be called “Market 32”
Price chopper is deader than norm Macdonald
I dont know what Shop Rite or Safeway are either
saiyajedi. - Is it a cheaper alternative to a regular chopper?
@@wackyduck3 - Then you ain't lived baby.
Norm and his friends used to come to my local sports bar for trivia night. His team won first prize every time. One smart cookie that Norm MacDonald!
Been crying all day over norm. Crying again. Love you Stephen
Oh man, me too!
Only celebrity death I've cried about.
Usually they're kinda funny.
Hahaha. Princess Diana comes to mind.. I dunno why...
Not today though. I'm crying rn. Crying and laughing a bit about Princess Diana.. 😅
Hahaha "Wile E. Coyote Tunnel." 🤣
Of all the people who are going to miss Norm, one in particular comes to mind.
You guessed it - Frank Stallone.
You fantastic writers in charge of the "Meanwhile" monolog?? Genius. Everytime👏
Calling every "fermented beverage" beer, while having no proof of a deep rooted ancient beer culture is like finding a round piece of wood in the backyard and claiming it´s an wheel of a Porsche - "in the mos generous way". Happy Oktoberfest, greets from Germany.
Or every rolled up leaf is proof the civilization smoked blunts
Norm McDonald RIP... You made some of the best one liners i will continue to use forever. If Norm could only know how many of us will forever be marked by his characters... An unsung hero in my book
“Pleistocene-while” just made my day.
Right? I also would have accepted PaleoceneWhile for the extinction of the dinosaurs. Close enough, imo.
RIP, Turd Ferguson. You and Burt Reynolds will be severely missed.
How can anyone in their right mind give such videos a downvote?
Exactly.
RIP Mr. Macdonald, unfortunately I hardly knew you.
6:30 Colbert venturing into Seth Meyers’ “Corrections” territory 😏
A hot dog is not a sandwich. A hot dog on a bun is 100% a sandwich
Is it still a 'hot dog' when it's just the frankfurt, though?
Rest well you beautiful pigeon bastard.😭🥺 🪦 Thanks for some of the hardest laughs of my life. ✌️❤️
I hope someone is putting together a compilation of meanwhile/quarantinewhile intros
I want to turn them into illustrations. They’re so visueql and visceral. There is a compilation, but meanwhile more have been written.
Thanks for the Memories of Norm. 😪
Norm was how simple humor broke getting around when they don't get it.
“Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s almost never for them.” ~ Norm MacDonald.
RIP Norm... Please let God know that Germans love David Hasselhoff
That was my favorite line of his. RIP Norm.
@00:18 Stephen's watch was BEAMIN!!!
I'm guessing OJ won't be attending Norms services. Just a wild hunch, ya know?
Oh he will just to remind himself that he missed his chance.
Gawd.,.i am getting old... as one of the features of that...seeing many pass and many come into the world...a mixed blessing, for sure. RIP Norm. =[
I sense some corrections with Seth Meyer energy here and I'm loving it
this yes thank you!
Hello fellow jackals
🐾
Norm was another great contemporary Canadian comedian. RIP bro
He should have said, "Man I gotta tell you. That's some bad luck when the one person who could make a 'Norm is dead joke' dies!" That would have been the perfect homage.
I respect the man, rest and peace,Norm, great comedian.
I didn't know Norm died. I agree that he was the best weekend update host. He's the only one I liked and I got so angry when he stopped doing it. I'm definitely feeling some things.
"I come from a long line of death."
-Norm MacDonald
6:33
Stephen doesn't feel like starting his own Corrections
Somehow, I really miss quarantinewhile.
Omg, so I started watching 18 months ago when the covid pandemic hit New Zealand but this is the first time I have ever seen Meanwhile or Quarantinewhile with a studio audience! So weird!!! Always great though.
Bahaha Price Chopper bag... thanks for the Upstate ShoutOut Stephen!
Norm was my favorite too. Because of his Kaufmanish darkness. He will be missed by me 🙏 norm
Rest In Peace, Norm 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Justice Beyer's response to the vital question "is a hotdog a 'sandwich'?"
shows how he muddies the waters with semantic quibbles
and leaves the matter unresolved.
"The “original” Budweiser is actually Budvar, a small Czech brewery that has been fighting the giant Anheuser-Busch-and now its parent company AB InBev-on multiple fronts for the right to use the Budweiser name since before World War I." That Czech beer is very good, if you can get it.
Just like a politician does.
The rule at Second City was to never be afraid that a joke will go over the audience's head. There will always be one or two people who get the joke, and their laughter will force everyone else to laugh too.
FINALLY
I was waiting for this upload
Rest in peace Norm...
Wouldn't want Stephen to have to start doing Corrections. ;D
They should have named the bridge after Governor Suicide from the Simpsons.
*meanwhile starts at **3:38* (🙄)
That's ok, because Norm Macdonald was my spirit animal and his loss weighs heavy on my heart. ❤😭 God bless you you beautiful maniac genius warrior poet.
6:30 Stephen was like an inch away from starting his own "Corrections" segment there. The jackals are inside the house!
You noticed that too? Those jackals are everywhere. 😱...v
The answer is simple. Once the hotdog bun is broken into 2 at that lil crease…it has becometh sangwitch
You are welcome
What if the hotdog is inserted into a cavity instead, and there is no two parts?
The night Norm passed Bob Saget filmed a touching video. He revealed weeks before his Roast Norm said he couldn't say anything bad about him and instead would read from a joke book from the 1940's. The joke was only Bob knew what he was doing. Rewatch it and you see Bob losing his mind. The commitment to absolutely bomb to make your friend laugh is legendary.
Tonight it was commenting on the passing of Norm Mcdonald. RIP.
Tonights segment does not actually begin until 2:50 though.
Thanks
The mammoth joke and the beer joke were great!
Mamoth: Comeback
Batiste: Yes, INDEED!
That Budweiser burn was refreshing.
Take notes Bud!
So why are they trying to bring an extinct animal from ages past that died out naturally?
Why not something like the Dodo for example, which would still exist today if it wasn't for Humans?
The dodo would become the new chicken real quick.
well ... the Mammoth has better chnaces to survive in todays world than the dodo, as we spread Rats to almost every place on earth. Furthermore as Dodos weren't frozen when they died, we have basically no DNA of them, only a single skeleton brought to Copenhagen has any DNA left. Also we are far more advanced in cloning mammals compared to birds, and we have no close relative of the Dodo big enough to be a surrogate parent.
"This mob blows" Norm was one of the best, he'll be affectionately be missed!
"...the outer asteroid belt..."
Me: Oh, so it came from the Kuiper Belt?
"...a distant region between Mars and Jupiter."
So... just the Belt?
I assume they meant that the asteroid belt has different regions, which would make sense. Also, I guess we now have to blame someone for the death of the dinosaurs: Curse you, Inaros!
Ain't having Corrections like Myers! Ya, Jackals.
Popular Opinion: Every single one of y'all agrees Batiste us made more free:
Rip norm you legend.