Why wives should submit to their husbands
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- Опубліковано 4 вер 2021
- Why wives should submit to their husbands - In this video I'm talking about wives submitting to their husbands, what that looks like biblically, practical ways to respect and honour our husbands and why I believe our culture has made it so difficult to do so! This is something that the Lord has put on my heart and I've been personally convicted of, I'm definitely not perfect at doing this but I'm trying to be more mindful to submit and respect my husband the way God intended it!
Disclaimer: I just wanted to clarify that I don't necessarily believe that the Feminist Movement in and of itself is evil, there was unfair inequality that needed to be addressed and in certain parts of the world still does. But I believe what started as a genuine cry has turned into a device of the enemy to cause hatred and division between men and women.
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Thanks everyone for your comments! Just wanted to put this disclaimer out that this video is from a Christian and biblical perspective so if you don’t read the Bible then this video may sound very counter cultural to you. I also wanted to say that of course respect goes both ways, it is not just women respecting their husbands. I am stating ways that women can submit and respect their husbands as the husbands are the head of the household and are to submit to Christ themselves. As I’ve said it’s not about control, abuse, or anything close to that nature. If you don’t agree you can read the Bible and pray on it - please keep disrespectful comments to yourself as this is not the place to put men or women down. 🥰
I still appreciate it not coming with scriptures back to back tho that’s why I hit like some people are extra I love this view but I’m not a Christian there’s lots of people that believe feminism destroys the traditional values of family other than Christians so i appreciate that there’s less Bible thumping than most others you seem like the type of Christian that Jesus was unfortunately most aren’t
1 Peter 3:3-6
New Living Translation
*3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.*
Women used to be this way a natural woman. We are equal but in different way's that's why we love each other.
@@InResponseOutreach Nothing wrong with so-called "Bible thumping" if it's the truth. Also, try using periods in your sentences.
The church should be completly submissive towards Jesus as the Head.
When a wife is docile, she softens her husband’s heart toward her. When she is sweet, she feeds his desire to care for her. When she shows her vulnerability, she activates his natural instinct to protect her. Neither men nor women will ever get what they want by forcing the other. But through love and respect they will get what their hearts’ desire. The husband wants to be the man the wife truly desires and the wife wants to be the woman the husband truly desires.
Your comment is powerful. Love it
Great comment, perfectly stated.
True
Don't forget the softening goes both ways. Treat your wife with the kindness and love that you would want someone to treat your daughter with.
Yes, by forcing, neither of them are gonna be happy. However, things fade away with time and people expect changes. How do we deal with it? People normally find alternatives to keep themselves happy instead of trying to forcibly change each other. But, I don't think that's the solution. We, as humans, should mutually keep making changes to keep the spark alive, instead of suppressing our expressions/desires/expectations, just to make things look perfect to the world!
Amen! It was a year into my marriage when my husband said he wanted a divorce because I was trying to be the man. I didn’t understand. I had no clue how disrespectful I was. I recently read Love and Respect and I think it should be required reading for marriage. I can’t speak for men as I am not one, but women today struggle so much with showing men respect as if respecting them belittles us. Even in Genesis, a part of the curse was that women would want to be over their husband but that he would be over them. This is not actually a new thing. Women have struggled with this sin since the start
How were you being the man? That means you guys follow predetermined gender roles based on stereotypes? Woman weak ,man strong?
The genisis part is something i read by accident earlier this year and was shocked at how its often overlooked as well as how prevalent it is today. But also, congrats on having the awareness.
@@StudyMeFinance2714 ❤💯
So did you guys reconcile ?
Are you still together? Hope so.
I liked this video! I feel like feminism has turned toxic in some ways (like your disclaimer said) and it makes me sad to see how some women treat their husbands. I’ve seen women say horrible things about their husbands, and then they just laugh about it. If a man said some of these things about his wife (she’s great but needs to lose weight, she’s annoying, etc.) he would be blasted across the internet for that. Respect for each other goes both ways.
I think the same, I am not a Christian, but for Noahides and Jews we also have to follow that part of the Bible, it is in Genesis, where the part of the submission of women appears in The punishments that God gives for breaking the pact of the fruit, makes me sad just like you that women treat their husbands like this, I hope I can find a good wife, who is not like the ones mentioned. Do you have any advice to get a good wife that is not like the ones you mention?
They probably treat their husband bad because their husband don't respect then.
@@freespirit7450 no, no excuses.
@@rcrddnl My advice would probably be to find someone that you can be good friends with so that you can see if you will be compatible and also how they treat others around them. My husband and I started out as coworkers, then friends, and then it progressed from there. We’ve been together for nearly 5 years, and he is still my best friend. I think it’s because we went into a solid friendship first and we both have mutual respect for each other.
In a friendship, you can see if they will apologise if they’re wrong, how they treat people, and what their general values in life are before deciding if you want to be in a relationship with them.
Yes Feminism has turned in to this ugly modern era hate filled anger. The problem is, the modern age has lost respect for each other, empathy and understanding. The % of the modern generation have become this spoiled entitled brats. Another problem is the lacking of discipline in schools and by parents. Including Woke ideals and gender politics to add on to the confusion
Hello sister I'm not Christian I'm a Muslim and I have huge respect for Christians,what you said is sacred and totally correct ,may the almighty God bless you.
I’m so guilty of always being this strong independent woman. I don’t know how to accept help but I’ll break my back for anyone. I’m always the fixer .. I’m always the one people run to. But i am making progress because i have made great sacrifices, and I’d do it all over again in a heart beat. Also i don’t take kindly to to being told what to do but i love kind wisdom and encouraging instruction. Submission for me is easy when received in love and kindness and above all patience.
Your so amazing girl! Thank you for wisdom and slowing me down❤️ God bless you
Thank you so much for sharing! Yes totally understandable. I think receiving instruction in love is the only way! And can definitely understand that mentality of being independent. I found that sometimes I’ll rely too much on my own strength and independence so I really had to surrender that to the Lord! Thank you for watching my videos and for your encouraging comments! 💕🤍
Oh, we are so alike! ☺️
@@nikkiisrael2708 soul sisters 😂
@@Dreamgiirl23 it’s nice to know there is somebody who identifies with me, and my struggles.
Lord, I pray for Marley, that you would give her her hearts desires, and her dreams come true and all the promises that you have promised to her. I asked her that she would hear your voice clearly and know what you are saying to her at this time. May she know your presence in a real deep and powerful way. Give her encounters with you and may she know you love so deeply at this time.
Heal her heart and bring her comfort Jesus.
In Jesus name
Amen, sweet sister I love you
@@nikkiisrael2708 thank you that prayer means a lot because i have been through heart breaks i didn’t deserve but i pressed through and though it still stings i know the pain i feel is worth the miracle God has done and will soon be at my door. Thank you … those videos especially about the pearl has give me so much perspective that grain of sand that caused me so much pain is my greatest treasure and blessing …. I love you too sweet sister ❤️
Thank you SO much for speaking about this: I’m finally experiencing the truth, relief and fulfillment in submission and really appreciated the examples and help! ❤
Thank you soo much for this video!! I feel like God just spoke to me through you, like he does try to speak to us through other people. Your video motivated me to make a change. I knew I don't have enough respect when talking to my parents (I'm not married yet) so I realize that I would be able to scare my (hopefully) future husband away or hurt him with my way of talking and getting irritated and bossy. I feel awful thinking that I could make a person who I love the most upset with my disrispectful words. Your video feels motivational and somehow eye-opening too. I think I'll need it for later as well. God bless you and your husband!
What a powerful message. God has truly led me to this channel to hear these words. May He bless you Sarah!! 🙏🏻 💖
The you tube algorithm led you to this channel
I prayed for this so much! Still working progress, with the little faith I have left!
The more she talks on this matter you can see why that wise man who's her husband put a ring on her. Children to a woman awoken like this is a blessing
Love this thank you . As someone delivered from new age, I would have LAUGHED about submitting but now in Christ, submitting is a reflection to my submission to God and just another way I can express my love to God.
I enjoy hearing about people changing. It reminds me that we are made of clay... not stone. I wish you the best.
Thank you for giving actual examples. Anytime I ask how does one summit to their husband, it's always very vague.
Wow your deep love for Christ is so evident in your channel. Your content has blessed me in an incredibly hard season. I’ve found your husband’s perspective very helpful as well and your marriage gives me hope that the wait is worth it and this season of trials will help transform my brokenness. Could you please do a video on breaking soul ties?
Thank you this is such an encouraging message to hear 🙏 I’m so happy that God can speak through my channel in different areas of your life, praise the Lord 💕 yes definitely I’ll do a video on that and just agreeing in prayer for the Lord to bring you through this season and that you will come out stronger than ever 🙌
Great video Sarah. ☺️
You are wise beyond your years. I love the way you and Adam interact with each other in the comments too. 😄
It’s so cute, sweet and endearing.
I have only just started watching this video (am at 0:13 mark) and had to rewind a bit to check and confirm that we have the same coffee/tea cups like the one u r drinking from; we've had them since the 90s and I live in a small country in Europe. Brought a smile to my face seeing that and just wanted to share :) much love (now onto the video)
Wow that’s so cool! I thrifted these cups here in Vancouver with matching bowls :) the thrift store is in an area with a lot of Europeans so that’s so cool to hear! Thanks for your support on our channel btw! 🙏🙌
@@NowBloom Ha! Only saw (and got the notification) your response now - this makes so much sense and is heartwarming to read :)
this video is so amazing! thank you for sharing Sarah, i just grew from watching this, Thank God for you
Wow, something I needed to hear! Love this!
Thank you for speaking so boldly and transparently.
I really needed this message and will study those scriptures. Thank you
Thank you for making this video! It was really encouraging to hear you sharing about this subject. I'm getting married this summer and I've been processing the subject of wives submitting to their husbands and what it actually looks like. I haven't completely figured it out yet (and as you said one learns through experience) but I feel like God really used your video to teach me about this subject. Especially what you said about respecting your parents (especially one's father) really resonated with me. Made me realize how much the father-daughter relationship I have reflects on the relationship with my fiance. I'm quite new to your channel but I can sense that God has blessed you with a lot of wisdom. Be blessed and keep it up with the videos!
It's a sign of respect and trust, a good man doesn't want to let down a woman who trust him.
so basically my story is that im 15 and my relationship with God has been all over the place i stopped praying and one point i didn't believe in him anymore but now i am healing and accepting it back but i have come to realize there are things in this religion idk. I feel SICK when talking about submission i grew up an older sister at 10 i was taking care of my 5 year old brother helping homework cooking meals etc. My family wasn't the most stereotypical either my mum worked and my dad worked in another country so i rarely saw him my mum took on both roles in consequence until he came back it confused me that she would tell me my dad is the head when he was never there and she made the decisions. i Don't think i can EVER submit it makes me feel small and my upbringing hold this feeling tight
Hello lovely. I understand your pain. When a father isn't present the idea of submitting to a husband feels wrong, off and sometimes sickening. I don't know you personally or your full story, so I don't want to assume anything, but I pray that in your journey as a Christian you may meet exemplary, God fearing men. I'm not even talking for a relationship, I'm talking about mentors, leaders, etc etc that can show you what healthy masculinity is like. When the men in our lives are exemplar, the idea of submitting to them in marriage seems okay. When, sadly, that isnt the case, there is so much hurt. But God can turn your brokness into your testimony 💖 I also pray that you may be healed, and that your heart may be renewed daily through Him. Walking as a Christian isn't easy, some things will only make more sense over time. But I believe He will hold you, transform you and use you for His glory.
@@nysevicente2913 thank you so much your advice means alot.
God bless you💕
i also feel so sick when i think off the idea off submision i just dont underdstand why any man would want someone they love to submit to them and why i am i not alowed to lead in a relationship what did i do it feels like my voice is les worty to his like im not capeble of leadership and i dont understand why. Ive been stuk with these thoughts for so long and i dont know if there something wrong with me cuss i feel like thats what poeple are telling me but the idea makes me sick. ive heard that there are mistranslations or mis interpitations and that there are things aded to the bible that are untreu so i wonder is this one of them has this been misstransleted or misenterpeded idk. ive been asking god to please tell me the truth so that im sure but i havent gotten an answer but im also so scared thet the response god will give me will make me feel sick cuss of how unfair it feels so ask god to also pleas axplain why but this video kinda helped but i still dont understand why im not alowed to lead or what the difrents is with love and respect cuss how can you have one without the other. I saw someone respond saying that women feel this way cuss of the lack of a father figure in there life and my dad pased away when i was around 8 so is that the reason is there really something wrong whit me?
i also feel like this is there any way that you might wanna comme in contact ive been wanning to find someone that feels the same as me
One thing I don’t understand like I am a woman I do want love but I want respect more then I want love. My logic behind it is if you show me respect and that I am your equal then I feel loved.
You'll never be equal to man. That's why you don't understand.
Exactly! I feel like Im back to 1950 right now.
With love comes respect
I feel the same way.
You're not equal. I'm sorry to tell you but men have more control over their emotions and are better in combat in general not only physically but in all aspects.
What you have is the strongest and most self deceiving sin in existence: pride. You don't wanna accept the fact that men are better than you and your partner is not your equal.
But as long as you have pride, you'll live in denial and in war with reality, in war with your partner and in war with God and Yourself because pride makes you unable to accept your lesserness. The problem is that you'll never win, you will lose, God gave you a body that will never become equal to a man INTENTIONALLY, and if you don't believe me, how many women are miserable in the feminist way? You can't force happiness, you gotta play with the rules God gave you, or suffer eternally.
Excellent message. Thank you Sarah
This was so helpful! Thank you ❤
You really put this in perspective. Definitely a helpful video for people who aren’t normally submissive.
Hi Sarah & Adam
I'm glad 😊 I found your channel. Very Encouraging!!
I been with my man for 16 years and married 👰💍 4 years. We are going through ups and downs. I think it's my pridefulness that I don't like admit my wrongs to my husband. 😀
I'm PRAYING 🙏🏽to GOD about this and hopefully I can change my ways. My husband has some things to work on also, I don't want to say it on here.
We are both going to a Marriage Counselor with my Pastor at my Church,so we can see 👀 where we both going wrong at and we can work on ourselves.
Keep Us In PRAYER🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thankyou Sarah & Adam for this video. Keep making more videos like these. 😊
🥰🥰 XOXOXO
Glory to God for you putting this video out. I needed to hear this. Thank you Sarah!!🙂
I recieved a copy of Love and Respect from my mom before she passed away. I haven't read it, though I think it's time that I do :)
I have listened to several women explain this topic. You have done the best job explaining this topic. Exactly, prayers are powerful. Thank you. I hope my wife will listen to God.
This will be forever needed be blessed!!!
Thank you so much for watching 😀💕
I always aspired to be a good wife, who respects her husbands, who submits to him and follows his lead. But my parents are against this nature of mine. they always tried hard to make me more masculine and independent. but my basic nature is to be docile and to value love more than my independence
Thank you for explaining the meaning of submit to your husband's. Now I have a better understanding. God bless you.😊
The examples you gave really helped me. I keep hearing, respect, honor and submit but never really understood what that looks like or what it doesn't. I really appreciate your vulnerability!
I married a "Christian" man when I was 21 years old. He was a religion major. His first job was youth pastor. He emotionally abused me for 20 years. He was careful not to leave physical bruises. All of our church leaders told me to submit to him. He almost completely shattered me mentally. I finally divorced him and was shunned by my "church family". I worked for that church as an administrator for over 10 years. When I left and had no support... the pastor cheated on his wife and left her and their 3 children for a fling.
After I went through the valley of the shadow of death... I met a wonderful man. He was agnostic. I, however remained firm in my Christian beliefs. This wonderful man was/is the kindest, sweetest, nicest, most generous man I have ever met whether inside or outside of the organized church. We married and this man is now my Christian spouse. He is smarter than I am in many ways as I get emotional. I'm smarter in some ways about finances, etc. I'm here to tell you that I believe that this is what the Bible is telling you. Submit to one another. Acknowledge each other's strengths and weaknesses. Work together. Would anyone like to tell me where I'm wrong here?
I am immensely impressed 😁👍🏾... This women's eyes have truly been opened!!!!
Great message, Sarah xx
Wow!! This is so much needed for this generation for sure!! So profound and important. I’m glad your sharing this. Thank you. Like they said “ the man is the head but the woman is the neck.” LOL, With intuition and lead by the Holy Spirit we can guide our husbands but with wisdom and understanding. And even if people just notice this issue, it is written! Thank you Abba for your word!! 🙏🙌🏽💯
Thanks girl you’re the best! 💕🙏 totally agree 🤍
@Praise TMH beloved, if you read carefully it’s says “Like they said” meaning like other people quote, if this way sounds better to you. It’s good to ask better than to assume. I hope this helps you understand. God bless you.
This is better: “ the man is the head but the woman is the heart.” :)
@@petrajendekova9637 I Like it! that’s a good one.
@Praise TMH Jesus loves you very much!:) Let's humble our hearts when we correct others and exalt Him
You just don't know how much I applaud you, your husband is lucky. My wife and I are separated right now because she doesn't know or doesn't want too respect me she tells me she wants to be with me but at the same time she wants to be able to do as she please without me having to ask her about it or tell her I'm not happy about things . I love her with all of me and would do absolutely anything for her I would give my life for her but sad truth is that she wouldn't do the same for me and I'm not trying to speak for her , but with how she is acting how else am I to think and feel. I just know that I would not wish this on my worst enemy . It Hurts to know that I love this woman soo much when she knows so little of respect towards me , she doesn't know the hurt I carry with me. Sorry for sharing a little bit to much of my life with you It felt good to get it of my chest though.
Brother I don’t know you, but I’m living in the same situations, my life compare to yours is almost a copy and paste, I mean exactly the same. I took her with her son, which is my own son now. I have 2 boys with her and the other one is on the way. I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman, but is the most painful thing to do. May be coz I love her, only God knows. since i married her 7 years ago, I never experienced peace, respect, submission, honesty, trust, stability, the only thing is keeping me with her, is my kids are still too little. 4 and 2 years old and another one the way.
Another thing that is keeping me is the promise I gave to God, of living with her all my life.
You’re not alone brother, lets get it out, it does help
Next life I wish I had a children and a good wife who honour husband's authority. Lord will surely help me out in the next life.
🙏 I appreciate how u speak the word as it should be. Thank you
This was really good and challenging
Beautifully said. Our generation is so off track. Both husband's and wives doing all they can to meet each others needs is crucial for making a marriage work.
God bless you for this information 🙏
Great video. Great teaching.
The lord told me in prayer time a few years ago that he wanted me to respect men
You explained is so well.
I'm still confused, but perhaps I should take it down a notch, whats the difference between respecting men and respecting women, is it not just the same as respecting any person (human being)? Is there a need to specialise in respecting men or women?
Nope, this is patriarchal crap
Because men and women are different. You respect women and men in regards to what they give you.
Men go outside, risk their lives, resources, time and safety for women and their children(which always have a chance to not be his but not the other way around for women) and gather real life experience. Therefore, they know more about the world and are better equipped to make decisions. Men should have the final day because they ARE BETTER than women at taking decisions. That's the point. Is not some arbitrary rule that just so happen to be. It's because it's logically the best decision, and to pretend to be better than you really are, as a woman being equal to a man, it's disrespectful because it incorrectly devalues the man.
@@johnx140 but that can reversed when women also get education and get out there, read etc, it's not a rule nor law of the universe, but an arbitrary oppression and prohibition of women from getting education in the past, as you said yourself, it's by being exposed to more opportunities to get the ability to make more advanced decisions, so it goes for that men who are illy educated or just not willing to go out in a metaphorical sense would be worse than a woman who has gone through the mental effort to navigate the world, so in the end, it's not about the gender, also have you not know of plenty of tribal cultures in the world that had or have women who take the lead in their societies? Respect then is given accordingly. Take for example, Sabine Hossenfelder is a Nuclear Physicist and where I barely have the knowledge to comprehend her works, and so I pay her respect accordingly, in regards to what she offers to fellow youtube video watchers and the work she is working on, stop this gender stereotyping, as for a minute think about how men have certain kind of qualities that are not considered stereotypically masculine, take Alan Turing for example. Let people shine and contribute as much as they can, why suppress when they can do great things and even help everyone substantially, denying a woman from say being a doctor when she absolutely have the skills is just not logical, and since you seem like someone who pride themselves with logic, bringing up the word to justify your own biases and beliefs, wouldnt you just agree that we need both male and female doctors to keep the patients of both genders well and alive and keep the society running? anyway that's my gribe towards ESTJ sort of views like yours
It's all about being like Esther. I am telling you, to be a godly woman that respects and submits to her man, as a man it melts the heart of any real godly man out there, and some worldly men too if you are married with one (1 Peter 3:1-2).
Even by being with a worldly man, Esther was able to totally change him through her godly form of submission and respect. I can even say that in some loving way she had him in the palm of her hand. And that seems so contradictory at first to have that happen by being (respectful and) submissive. But that's really how we work as men. To be with a respectful and submissive wife we will only want to cherish and protect her and feel ashamed if we ever talk bad back at her or do something wrong.
And yes as a woman she can use other tools to reach what she wants like being too direct, or too confrontational, etc... But it won't work as well and even sometimes be hurtful compared to doing it through a godly form of submission and respect.
It's the same for us men about how we have to be towards our wife. We could use other tools like starting to not consider her, giving orders, etc... Instead of doing things God's way. By being a servant leader, by honoring her, and showing how we love her every day in anything we do.
“The unbelieving husband can be saved through the believing wife” (Bede, 731 AD)
I love a woman that respects me and I respect a woman who loves me.
Nice. Thanks for sharing
Praise God ,
For reveling the mystery as it is , used right words from scripture
Sarah this was so good I wish I had heard this when I was first married. 💕💕💕💕💕🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Aw thank you so much for watching Auntie Emily 💕🙏 love you 😍
I wish more women thought like you. You’re very awesome. God bless you and your family.
Hey there this video make sense totally and in my personal preferences i treat not only a partner like this but all people. But was wondering we are supposed to be like this but are you saying a man doesnt have to reciprocate it back. If we ask for laundry to be done he can say no and still be good in god graces? Or if we have an idea they are allowed to control an belittle us? Im really confused.
Wish I had followed this 😔. I hope it's not too late for my marriage of over 8 years
It’s never too late. Remember the parable of the workers of the last hour. You can change your attitude and redeem the Time. Ask God for help 💗
to me more important than respect is trust. if i can trust my woman i'm happy.
One of your best videos, Honey! Thank you for inspiring so many people with you words! ✝️🤗🙌🏽
Thanks honey love you! 🙏💕
This is my main problem in my marriage. I feel like i don't even matter to her. I don't know how much more i can take and i blame myself for it being this way
Good explanation.
What if you don’t have a father but brothers but they aren’t “men”. They are irresponsible, immature, “adult babies” and have to be told what to do? Unemployed as well
Then they aren't to be taken seriously. Their opinions are wrong because they haven't earned their right to lead.
A woman submits to MEN, not manchilds.
Your husband is blessed to have a women who truly understand what it means submission , coz so many families are falling apart, reason because Christians now days we don’t want to put into action the act of husbands to truly love their wives and wives also to be submissive to their husbands I am a born again Christian, husband and a father of 3 wonderful boys
But I never experienced what it means submission or respect in my own household.
Sorry for putting my privacy out there, I just can’t keep it to my self anymore
Remain blessed with your lovely Family.
Personally I find submission to a TRULY good man is the most fulfilling and satisfying thing EVER. It gives me sooooo much freedom to be able to allow my boyfriend (whom I trust fully and know as a fact that he wants the best for me) to make desisions for me, obey him and let him guide me. And it makes me truly happy and content!
@Praise TMH
The head of every human being, male or female is God. That said the head of every wife is God, not her husband. Her husband doesn’t take the position of God in her life. The husband is the head of the household and the wife his helpmate. However they both have God as their heads. Wives can, do and should have a relationship with God directly. Not with God through their husband.
I used to be a Christian and I’m not sure what I believe now. I never had positive male roles in my life which makes it hard for me to want a partner. I love being single and on my own. I feel that submission should go both ways depending on the matter. For example if the car breaks down, then one partner should be more submissive to the other partner who has more knowledge and experience in the field. I want to be respected and held at the same level as a man.
There is a lot wrong with what you said.
elaborate. Don’t make a claim without context. That’s wrong.
@@TheMan-ud2wq cool
@@cherriixo what context do you need?
@@Bryana13 yup
Explained so well ❤️👌💯
I wouldn’t underestimate the power of keeping in touch with your own needs, talents, and career skills. It is important…you may not realize why it’s so important until it’s too late. When you are consumed with all of the responsibilities of mothering, keeping the house, etc, and you start to feel like an empty shell, that’s when you may realize that you left your own potential and talents behind to fulfill your husband’s expectations. This is just my experience, and kudos to you if you find fulfillment in shifting to serving your husband’s needs. I just felt like it was neglectful to let my own dreams and needs go for those of another.
Hey Shannon! Thank you so much for sharing! Would you say that your husband encourages you in your projects? I see that this woman has her own projects and personality
Sorry for commenting on you video a lot I just kinda vibe with it a lot because I grew up catholic and around a lot of rules about being a “proper women” and raised to only take care of my husband. So I do have my disagreements with the church. I have learned a lot about these relationships in my 25 years of life and why some work while others do not. I also just have more of a masculine outlook on life with some feminine aspects. Like I said everyone’s version is going to be different but I truest believe for myself I’m not made to be a follower to my husband rather a kind of coleader. I don’t mind doing things my boyfriend asks as long as he holds the same respect for me, which for the most part he does. I also change between husband and boyfriend because you talk about your husband and I mirror that language. I do have a boyfriend and we work well together as a team.
So, you prefer your emotions than the word of god
I think the submitting your talking about is actually compromise, and finding a balance between the couple to work together in a progressive perspective way. And men should NOT completely lead the household but neither should women. Submission, I think, has to do with gender roll traditions and women giving up there own thoughts feelings and behaviors as a sacrifice for there husbands ego and well being, just so they can feel powerful and respected. This is not how it should be it should be unless you choose for it to be that way. And you both have to choose that. It is okay to challenge and ask why, you should never be little or get passive aggressive, but it’s okay to disagree on something but you both make that sacrifice and compromise. A women does not have to submit and let him take charge. Same with the opposite, a man should never have to submit and let her take charge. You both make the sacrifice and talk about it together. It’s a team effort. I’ll give a simple example. When we go out to eat me and my boyfriend, we’ll look at the menus and decide what we want and then when the waiter comes I let him tell the waiter what he wants and what I want. It’s the simple fact I know he likes the feeling of ordering for me. That can be seen as submitting. But one thing he submits to for me is he lets me open all the Amazon packages because it’s like opening a present. Even if it’s something he really wants to open himself. Both people have to submit both people have to compromise it’s about finding that balance. That balance is found between both partners and deciding what should happen. You do get a variety of couples where it can be 50/50 or 40/60 or completely traditional. As long as it’s discussed and agreed upon.
I think the examples you cited are fairly trivial examples that don't require a leader, but I think a fairly prominent leader (however subtle of one) is needed in a variety of scenarios.
For example, take a dance between a couple holding each other both literally and figuratively. If no one leads here, then there's no movement. Both people would be waiting for the other to initiate and take the lead, and that would last indefinitely until someone does. If both people try to take the lead, then they will step on each other's toes. For a couple to dance beautifully together, someone has to be the ultimate leader and the other has to be the willing follower. If they take turns doing this without being awkward and constantly trying to figure out who does what and when, then someone still has to ultimately lead the choreography and the other has to be a willing follower. This is a practical requirement regardless of gender; a homosexual couple will face the same problem and dance very awkwardly without a clear leader.
The ultimate point of a leader is to move multiple people in a uniform direction as in the analogical dance, and where you discover who is the more prominent leader in a relationship is not in small routines that you've already established, but in terms of who is ultimately moving the both of you in uniform direction.
As another example, take a couple who has a dispute they can't resolve in a headless way. Perhaps it's over where to send their children to school, and both are passionate and unable to come to an agreement. If there's no leader here to resolve the conflict and say, "All right, this is what we're going to do," then there's no movement as in the dance analogy, and the children will not be sent to any school while both parents are waiting for the other to take the ultimate lead and responsibility associated. If both people try to lead here, they will step on each other's toes and most likely fight and divorce. Either that or they might have to appeal to a third party to lead like a judge in a courtroom or a marriage counselor. Relationships without a clear and competent leader will often devolve in this way at some point.
This is the sort of practical need for a leader, and generally all groups no matter how small or how large will tend to need a reasonably prominent one. A good one will also tend to listen to the other people's desires and, while still being the one responsible for making the executive decision, factor those desires into every one of those decisions.
@@darkengine5931 Excellent comment. Another quite common example is what house a new married couple should purchase. A competent leader, ideally, will take input from the other party, but still make the ultimate final decision.
Soooo good. AMEN
Thank you ❤️
I think this is great, why isn’t this being taught more, well done!
Because it is a bad idea.
Men and women must realize they are created differently. Different bodies, different minds. We should accept those differences if we want healthy society
My wife is the complete opposite of everything you said, it’s so hard so difficult to be with her
My husband and I also found that book, Love and Respect, super helpful. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr Laura Schlessinger (despite cringe title) was a game changer for me too
hey sarah! i had a realization while you were reading that passage in ephesians 5 and i thought i'd share.
as you were reading i was wondering why there was an emphasis on those specific things that wives and husbands were to do, and i related it back to that thing you mentioned in the beginning of the video about how men need respect and women need love. what if all of that is a result of the curse on man in genesis? in the garden, when eve is tempted by the serpent and eats the fruit she is actually undermining adam's authority/judgement as her husband, and then when adam pushes the blame onto eve when God confronts them about eating the fruit he ultimately denies her of love through a wrong decision made in her weakness despite succumbing to that weakness himself. this means that the passage in ephesians 5 is not just an instruction for husbands and wives, but in heeding to those instructions we're partnering with the spirit to actively work against the curse that has been passed onto us since the garden. idk i just thought that was such a cool point that the holy spirit pointed out to me. i would love to hear your thoughts on this if you have any.
as a side, i truly love the work you're doing and the content you're creating. wishing you and your husband all the best!
If you continue on this path and your husband is truly a good man, I predict a very long,happy and successful marriage for you both.
Very helpful!! Thanks heaps Sarah 😄🥰
Aw that’s awesome thank you!! 🤍😅
I created a whole philosophy on lasting relationships and you too seemed to have figured it out. Well, some of it. You are making great use of the golden rule which is really from the Bible. I'm not religious but I for reason spend all my time learning lessons from the Bible...
Submission goes both ways. I would challenge the entire Church to spend far more time preaching and teaching on how men are to submit themselves to Christ. Too many women have been abused in the Church and stayed in unsafe situations due to the focus of women and submission. Damage has been done to an immeasurable degree and those of us who have walked with the Lord a long time need to be wise on communicating this topic.
Exactly right. Domestic violence was a big problem in these authoritarian marriages of years ago. This submitting stuff is absurd, and frankly dangerous. Religion is very scary, far too radical for me. 👎
This is not biblical. Men are called to submit to God, not to their wives
@@cm5394 What proof do you have that God exists? What proof do you have that God and Heaven aren't merely humanity's way of softening the blow of mortality. Humanity makes up all kinds of things as we know. Religion has been used for millennia to manipulate and control people, esp women. Prove to me any of it is real, and not just made up.
Men do not submit to the church we submit only to god.
@@cm5394 That’s exactly what her comment says.
I guess the whole thing is tricky. Because what some people respectful and disrespectful. Also because of the world we live in now where you need a 2 income household, and both men and women are at the same level of status, income, and education where there is room to colead. I believe God evolves before us and we need to view the scripture differently. It's one thing to speak life into our partners and to be thankful and appreciative. It's another not to challenge and not be enabling him under the idea that is not what is done.
God never evolves to contradict Himself
I'm loving this video. My challenge with exes is that they expected me to respect them but yet I felt disrespected by them. In addition, I have a history of sexual abuse (childhoo) from men. Relatives included! Any suggestions?
Dani,
I have dealt with kids from childhood abuse I had a woman recently who I have been counselling a married woman for the last 6 months and she is on her second marriage due to these issues stability of trust has to be established but a Godly partner will go through it with you but I notice a lot men who have grown up in a loving home free of Abuse they are not understanding not due to them so I completely see where you are coming from anyway I can help just reach out.
@@nicholasdonnelly8362 I'm looking for a Christian therapist. I'm on Medicare. I appreciate your comments. I'm doing well but have had problems with men. It's hard to trust to a point. I know I'm older but I was an ex super model..I get hit on ALOT.
I was about to be engaged but my man up and left. I'm heartbroken and need support. He said he loved me but he had too much anxiety and depression to marry me.
Thank you
Feminism was never about equality. Never have they asked for women to be drafted, for example.
There were so many “I never thought of it like that!” moments, because you hear it, like you said, but the examples made it so clear! 🤍
Aw yay so happy to hear that thank you for watching! 💕🙏
Why do woman fall for this crap,your not a animal submit and obey is for a dog not a human woman,so many woman say they do this but the don't it hurts to do this to a woman who loves a man if a man truly loved his woman he would not do this to her when you love a woman right she will do anything for you doing this just makes her feel like she is not your equal ,love don't disrespect a woman like this,love respect,honor, listening to each other , these words are to just keep a woman under a man , woman show your man Love, honor, repect without these stupid words that is love woman have always been put under a man we are to stand buy are men not under,God would not want a woman done like this ,before I went to church I had some what of a happy marriage after dealing with my husband thinking this way are marriage is not the same the love is not the same,woman goto work have the babies, keep the house clean ,cook and than we are to be under a man ,we are not back in the dark ages anymore,I don't want control I want to stand beside my husband and be loved and respected and give him the same, churches need to see woman as same as the men but they don't they only see the man what a shame,these words can destroy a marriage and a family
Feels like you completely missed the message writing this long ass essay lol
When a woman is nice to her man he will do anything for her and will do whatever it takes to give her the world.
great video
Thank you for sharing and explaining how to be respectful to your husband. I never heard any christain woman teach like this before. 😊✝️
i like your sweater, what is the brand of it?
Im currently about going through a divorce because I don't feel "my wife" submits in our marriage
I wouldn't divorce her for this. Nooo. You divorce for adultery or she's violent/dangerous or SHE decides to leave for good.
Amen
Great job of breaking it down in practical terms. Thank you♥️♥️♥️
New Subscriber😊,
Rita
Thank you so much for watching I really appreciate it and for subscribing 😘🙏 please feel free to let me know any topics you’d like to hear about!
@@NowBloom I will be interested in them All!😊
Talk to you soon🕊
only 21,666 views? this needs to be spread loud and clear! you are speak TRUTH and that's shall reverberate true..
god bless you
As a feminist I personally can't see myself submitting myself to my husband. We are equal, and should have equal say in decisions. Just because he is the man doesn't mean he knows the best 100%
Yeah, the idea that women should submit to their husbands is a sub-fallacy of the idea that men make naturally better leaders, which itself is a sub-fallacy of the assumption that a marital relationship even NEEDS a leader in the first place, as though equal cooperation in a relationship is inherently inferior. All of these ideas are merely appeals to tradition and nature, and not necessarily logical or factual.
@@biggtk I think most ideal relationships operate largely headless whether they're marriages or business relationships with a focus on negotiation and compromise in ways that make all involved parties happy. Yet I have to question the harmony of a completely headless relationship with no default leader whatsoever for the rare times in which compromise fails or in cases of indecisiveness.
I see no way to resolve conflicts in those rare cases without a designated leader who says, "All right, after listening carefully and weighing in on everyone's opinion, I've decided for us that we'll do this, and in exchange I will bear as much as I can of the associated responsibility and burdens of this decision." The leader could be the woman in a marriage as I see it; I think that's still more practical than no default leader at all. I suppose we could settle it democratically and even use something like a coin toss if the votes are tied to settle it, but I think that's a sub-optimal way since the coin won't take ultimate responsibility for the deciding vote.
There's also cases of indecisiveness where a leader with the greater initiative might be required to get things rolling. That's usually the most common leader/follower dynamic between my wife and me with this type of common scenario:
Me: What would you like to eat tonight? It's the weekend and I'd like to go out tonight for dinner but I don't have any strong ideas.
Wife: Hmm.... That sounds nice but I also don't have any strong craving today.
Me: How about that Indian restaurant we went to on your Birthday? You seemed to love it.
Wife: That sounds wonderful if that's okay with you!
Me: Okay, let's go there! [drive her to the restaurant]
Some people might not see a strong leader/follower dynamic there given the negotiation, but my wife usually looks to me and trusts me to make that final executive decision (to be the one that says, "Okay, let's go there!"); if I didn't have that initiative, we might just sit around at home without doing anything. My responsibility as I see it is to listen to her carefully since I want to make decisions that make her happy, and I think she trusts me and looks to me to make those decisions that affect us both since she knows I'll protect her from harm's way and take full responsibility if those decisions fail.
I never wanted some blindly obedient housewife either, since I see the role of a leader as protecting their followers. I can't protect her and make decisions that factor in her desires if she doesn't let me know what they are. I tend to be a reluctant leader since I find a great burden associated with it, having to take ultimate responsibility and look out for everyone else, and the last thing I ever wanted to do is boss anyone around. Yet it seems to me like many practical situations require someone to step up to the plate and lead; things usually run a lot smoother if there is someone who serves that role by default.
@daenerystargaryen1440 It's not necessarily who knows the best that makes the best leader; that's the quality of the best counselor. The leader's function as I see is not to come up with the best ideas but to listen to everyone's ideas, choose the best idea, and take ultimate responsibility for that choice.
Take Captain Picard from Star Trek: TNG. When a situation arises which concerns the entire crew, he calls a council meeting with all his senior officers: Beverly Crusher as his chief medical officer, Worf as chief security, La Forge as chief engineer, etc. The vast majority of the time, he goes with someone else's idea like Geordi who presents an engineering solution, or Beverly who presents a medical solution, Data who might present a scientific solution, etc. Decent leaders also don't needlessly micro-manage, like Beverly Crusher is the ultimate leader of her medical staff and overrides Picard's authority on matters that only concern medicine. Picard only steps into situations that impact the entire ship.
His job is to then select what he believes is the most acceptable idea (ex: the one with the highest chance to succeed and lowest risk to the crew) with the catch phrase, "Make it so," and his responsibility in exchange is to be the ultimate one responsible for the well-being and safety of the entire crew. For example, if he selects Geordi's idea believing Geordi knows best but the plan fails, it's not Geordi's failure but Picard's failure. He shoulders the burden of everyone else's ideas, and that allows them to freely share their ideas even if they might be worried about the risks involved (ex: Georgi might not be so confident in the success rate of his own idea enough to enact it and take full responsibility for it if he was the captain, but Picard protects him from those consequences by protecting him from that burden).
It's the primary function of the leader as I see it (male or female): to resolve disputes between what ideas are best by having the ultimate decision to resolve conflicts, to protect people from the consequences of even their own ideas so that they can offer them more freely, and to take the maximum responsibility for the well-being of everyone affected by the decision.
I think many times, people conjure up images of a very bossy and tyrannical leader who just orders everyone around, but those leaders are usually bad leaders who are more drawn to authority than responsibility. The only time a good leader should boss anyone around is if they are out of line and with the goal to protect everyone else. The people who step up to the plate not to boss people around but to smooth everything out and take responsibility for everyone else's well-being are generally the good leaders. Good leaders emphasize cooperation, bad leaders emphasize obedience. Good leaders focus on protecting people from harm and making people feel safe and looked after, bad leaders focus on using people to get what they want. Good leaders inspire loyalty, bad leaders demand it.
So helpful beautiful ❤
sorry for bad english it isnt my first language
hi im 14 and idk i feel so sick whenever i think of the idea of submiting i saw someone say in the comments that that is beceaus theres something wrong with me but i just dont get it why do only women have to submit why cant it be depending on you ralationship evreyone knows there are dominant and submisive men and women so why cant it be that if you're submisive you find someone dominant and if ur dominant you find someone submisive. But then there are also poeple that are simply neutral dont mind being submisive or dominant in some situations just whatever is practical a man being the leader ALWAYS can simply never work what if the car breaks down and she has knowledge and he does not? What should he lead then, ofcourse not that would be redicules.
So what i think is that that rule aplied to the poeple in whatever time those paragrafs where writen idk if this is common knowledge but a lot of scriptures where written for the land of isreal not the intire world and not the future whe are sometimes suposed to change them according to todays world cuss ofcourse women used to have to obey men back then it was suposed to help them cuss they could not rule they had no education and no knowledge on anything accept cooking so she wasn't capeble of leading and if she would have tried knowing what time she lived in who knowes what would have happend to her but thats just what i think im not sure if its 100% true but what sarah posted i think cant be the full truth cuss there are so many misenterpetations (maybe just my opinion) and thins i think she didnt ad like why do we have to humble ourselves and not men so men get to basicly have evreything there way cuss they like being respected WHO DOESN'T. To me it sounds like what she's saying is well you have to humble yourselve and give up youre pride but men get to have it there way cuss they like it that way. she didnt give a reason for that.
Ik that someone will say yea bt men need to love there wives yea duh so its fine for a women to not love her husband like hows dat fun like for men they HAVE to enjoy and be in love in there marriage (sounds very hard) while women have to give up there pride like how is that fair this fact makes me hate being a women if my future husband decides to not ask me something and just do so hes fine like why am i even there then wherent we described as helpers EQAULS but theres nothing eqaul about that men have it so much esier it seems.
Ik someone will say something like "yea but men are ecpected to die for there wives" yea me too thats easy to do anyone that loves someone so dearly that they would choose to spend the rest of there lives with them would die at the very thought of losing them or life in misery for the rest of there live so it would be much esier for them to choose to die for them.
So again they have it so easy they can basicly do whatever they want aslong as they love us while we cant even be sarcastic around them like why i feel like crying cuss i cant seem to make sense of this i cant believe that this could posebly be somthing from god it must have been edited can someone please help me.
i feel so lost should i be having these thoughts am i wrong for tinking this is unjust? is there something wrong with me? I ask god almost evrey night to help me am i doing something wrong.
It just doesnt sound right.
YOu are 14 and should not be worrying about such things. Focus on school
@@niltomega2978 lmao
Some husbands are not worthy of being the leader of the family. If he is drinking, drugging, gambling or abusing the people who love him, he is not fit.
I only see this working with men who are worthy of being the masters of their house. If they are kind, loving, honest, judicious…
He has to be a man first, before he can be the “man of the family.”