My mother is no 1 toxic parent. I got married by 21 before finishing my degree itself I got engaged the reasons are my mother and my younger brother. Right now I am the most happiest person
😂 I'm 25 yo female, financially independent. But still I'm going through all these abusive things with my parents and I'm not allowed to move out alone eithwr
I am 32. I have moved out, but I still can’t get them to stop abusing me. I have made a decision today to not ever contact them again. God knows if I will go back running to them expecting them to love me back.
I am 48. I realised toxicity very recently. I have always been trying to mend things. When I go to the place I spent my childhood everybody said that I used to torture my mom by not eating well. Starting from there I have always been the bad person every where. Struggling to cope up. Can't explain everything. 😢
Don't worry crowdfund from your friends, and relatives and get your tools and resources (like Ipad) and use it to develop your skills and knowledge. That may make you happy and empowered.@@abcd_0777
V2la summa summa chinna vasayatha kuda rmba perusa frame pani hurt agura mari pesuranga amma 💯 . Wrd ku wrd nee waste uh porupu illa 😕💔 nee paka nalla vae illa (raceisum). As a boy ya ena athum mae pana vda mattnga ✌🏻...!!
Enakku enna valikuthu na en mark vachukittu society la name earn panni ennayave torture panranga but naan padicha thu ivangala vittu veliya poganum nu than
I am 25 years old ...since childhood to till now i have been facing toxicity.... even till now i presumed I am the problem and they only thing i have to do is to please my parents by acting myself and by not being genuine to myself ..if I try to genuine to myself and start saying no..suddenly they bring up their sacrifices...i was extremely baffled ..i start believing myself i am the one who is wrong..i had lots of struggle to myself ..since childhood i have been pushed to suicidal behaviour,it's still continuing ...sometimes i feel like am i victimising or what ... having hell a lot of self doubt .now i have realised its not my mistake and I am not alone in this world....the only solution available is rather confronting them ,....focus to be financially independent and move on
Nenga solra points perfect match my parents same mindset 28 years not understand me 😢😢😢 upcoming feature la na parent ta erukurapo toxic mindset vanturunu bayama eruku . Nenga tips na follow panipakura 👍👍👍..
100000000000000000................percent best solution (financially independent) bcz i am also planning to do the sameeee even before watch this vd bcz there is no any other ways bcz they will never support ,the one and only way is ,study hard learn a lot and earn a lot getting a good job far far far away from home and stay there with a peice of mind
My father joined me in government school, even though i wanted to join in private school for my future. He is Government school teacher which is considered as a prestige job, so that He could afford my studies in private school. While other colleagues of my father was studying in good private school, he joined me in government school. Though he knew that Government schools are not good schools because he is a government school teacher. Then, I studied my Entire school education in government school. I was studying school I used to come to home by hanging in government buses because that much crowd would be there. Then after some distance buses will not come regularly so I should walk like 2 to 3 km. Atlast Some how I got good marks in my 12th(not top mark). But They expected me to top in my 12th board so they were disappointed by seeing my mark. They didn't see my efforts. Then I want to pursue Engineering in Computer Science. Then I joined in average private college. Though my mark was not Better( but good) . I have studied in tamil medium so I struggled to study in English in my first year so I got some arrear. Then they blamed me for this. When Paying fee for college Mu father will say that I pay you fees constantly, this will make me uncomfortable and they hate me for this. Atlast, They never did anything for me like he is our child so we should do. They never appreciated me.but always blamed me. Then Whenever I wanted money I used to avoid that expenditure like bus fare and even going to shop to buy something for snacks because They won't give me money They feel me that I'm burden to them. They make me also feel like that😢😢
Don't worry ❤maa.. I'm also face this problem when I'm 12 but now I'm 17..enaku edhu palagiducha nu thrla..but sometimes enaku music dha heal pannum..still I'm facing this problem..but avanga sluvanga I'm the best parents 😅 now I'm feeling okay to have them because I'm studying hard to get out of my house..so just put your all efforts in study..nee unakaga padii ❤️because namaku knowledge dha namba life ah smooth ah kondu poogum..but I swore I never be like them 🙂
I was going through cancer treatment, even at that time she wa yelling...i tried my best to make her understand, that i am alreay going through a lot due to cancer...but still she continued on her own thoughts...they never listen. They always think what they are saying or doing is correct😢😢😢
I am facing these situation with toxic in-laws for more than 12yrs. Because of office work I came to pune since last year. Now myself and husband live peacefully
@@Bbvicky826 it's ok bro ethu nadathalum pathukalam but eppavum yarukkavum give up mattum pannathinga one day avangale feel pannuvanga ippadi oru pillaiya kasta paduthi irukkome nu ....avangal feel panna vaikura alavukku neenga unga life ah lead pannunga bro 😌all is well untill ur hard work....
I'll agree with the fact that achieving financial independence may help to get out of toxic environment which meant toxic parents. But what if I have to take care of them in their old age , if they become dependent on me in all financial and other aspects??? Staying away and supporting them I think it won't work. I can't simply deny my responsibility by stepping out of them. At the same time, being with them is equally damage my mental health. As of now I think I'll get my mental freedom only after their last breath.. what I should do?
3:38 my mom always i tried tell this politely ,but she reply with abusive words tring to stop talking with her but my requirement makes to soooo stressed and drepressed😭☹
All this is happening fr me and sister from age of 18, my dad dint join me fr college he said me nd my sister to go work we worked and gave everything to parents, they wil not allow to save money fr us even after marriage, moreover when the time of marriage they wr not ready to spend money becoz we are girls, we did love marriage to come out of the house at the age of 28 , after marriage still they r asking for salary and asking to live husband and creating problems, dad use very bad words to 30 yrs n 28 yrs women not able to bare the aggressive behaviour of mom and dad.
god! im here after jason Samuel's video. How she flips the context is mindblowing . In one video she tells everytime yoiu have to ask consent to your child before hugging/kissing them. In another video she tells not necessarily she is my own child I do not have to ask everytime. So what are you teaching young parents? Dont misguide them. I followed you for your valuable content from 2020 . Now that pookari video you have taken on Vishu morning and posted in July ? Just to promote your parenting classes ? How cheap !!!!!!!
Akka I'm 23 now, I'm the first child daughter, starting from childhood I'm having this type of trouble. Still too. That days my father doing now his son, I I can't take this is, I m done with this family, Im feel wanna die 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I am 35 years old married to good man n good 2 girl children but still I suffer from toxic parents they make me alone from friend relatives, they ill not let me to do one birthday function for my the children ,they come daily to my home n disturb as my I grand parents pls help in this situation
Akka konja smoking Ku addict aitaan first smoke inta enakum ammakum ana sandaila start Achu apdiye tension la adikurathu and habit aichu konja control tips sollunga , vidanum nu aasa already one year quit pannan thirupi start pantan 😢😢
My mother is like that only... Always predict me bad and scolding me. Always wanna degrade me. Now iam mom of 2 kids bit still my mom scold me badly before my children's. I am totally vex.😢😢😢
I am 34old my parents are toxic .thy hurted me lot .frm my childhood days to still they didn't changed their character... They dnt have any feelings for me thy feel and openly telling am burden to them .
Mobile Adhigam use pannatha, nalladhu kettathu pirithuarinchi kathukko nu lifekku thevaiyanayha advise pannale taxic parents aah. Thayavu seithu pasangala miss Guide panna vendam
Kaindy tell us positive stuff rather than telling us to go away for parents 😡 Nowadays children are not listening to our words now they will not even come to haome
@joycreation6604 We can't change Toxic person's character. Only thing we can do is to loosen the rope instead of holding tight and getting hurt more. They can change only if they faithfully think they need to change. If children are not listening to elders words, the parents should find out childern's interest and find ways to spend quality, fun time with them in a way that makes the child to think they've got enjoyable, supportive parents who are equal to friends. Ofcourse parents can't replace friends. But still if you speak mindfully and bring them up by allowing them to choose/decide everything in every situation, you can foresee the qualities of children. At that time if you feel any of their decision is wrong or bad, you can assist them, politely explain the consequences and make them understand. Just stand beside them don't hold them tight. Most of the children learn from their parents. Children are watchful of their environment. Create empathy, create bonding, create trust. While at the same time don't forget to teach morality, cleanliness. These have the potential to reduce half of the issues. Discipline comes through respect, They don't like to disappoint their favourite person. Respect them for you to be respected. If you want to correct something, Express your disappointment to them, let them explain you why they actioned so. Ask them if what they've done is right or if they feel they would have actioned in a better way. Don't make them feel guilty, instead make them think of their action and their accountability. This allows them to grow to be a mentally strong person in turn creates a healthy family. Appreciate them their efforts and little wins, also let them witness your hard works, contribution, sufferings and hurdles of life. Good luck 🤞
My mother is no 1 toxic parent.
I got married by 21 before finishing my degree itself I got engaged the reasons are my mother and my younger brother.
Right now I am the most happiest person
😂 I'm 25 yo female, financially independent. But still I'm going through all these abusive things with my parents and I'm not allowed to move out alone eithwr
I am 32. I have moved out, but I still can’t get them to stop abusing me. I have made a decision today to not ever contact them again. God knows if I will go back running to them expecting them to love me back.
Same
I am 48. I realised toxicity very recently. I have always been trying to mend things. When I go to the place I spent my childhood everybody said that I used to torture my mom by not eating well. Starting from there I have always been the bad person every where. Struggling to cope up. Can't explain everything. 😢
😭😔 every symptoms of toxic parents all were perfectly setting for my parents, for me no pocket money not even one rupee 😭
😢
Also me my father has iphone 13 and me going to college 1st year having redmi 7a , since 5 yrs 😢
Don't worry crowdfund from your friends, and relatives and get your tools and resources (like Ipad) and use it to develop your skills and knowledge. That may make you happy and empowered.@@abcd_0777
thanks mam...it helps me a lot...i am just 18...but what i am emotionally facing is far beyond my age...
relatable bro🥲. My dad is a f**king loser that cares abt himself and abuses me.
Same bro enna nimathiyava eruka vetamatran....
@@narayanansl2722 what happened sis
Your voice & information are so healing
V2la summa summa chinna vasayatha kuda rmba perusa frame pani hurt agura mari pesuranga amma 💯 . Wrd ku wrd nee waste uh porupu illa 😕💔 nee paka nalla vae illa (raceisum). As a boy ya ena athum mae pana vda mattnga ✌🏻...!!
@ClarityforTnpscBro enga veetlayum than bro naan veeta vittu kilambalam nu irken
@ClarityforTnpsc illa bro neet write pannirken confirm seat kidaikum athu varaikum thaanga mudiyalaaa
Enakku enna valikuthu na en mark vachukittu society la name earn panni ennayave torture panranga but naan padicha thu ivangala vittu veliya poganum nu than
I am 25 years old ...since childhood to till now i have been facing toxicity.... even till now i presumed I am the problem and they only thing i have to do is to please my parents by acting myself and by not being genuine to myself ..if I try to genuine to myself and start saying no..suddenly they bring up their sacrifices...i was extremely baffled ..i start believing myself i am the one who is wrong..i had lots of struggle to myself ..since childhood i have been pushed to suicidal behaviour,it's still continuing ...sometimes i feel like am i victimising or what ... having hell a lot of self doubt .now i have realised its not my mistake and I am not alone in this world....the only solution available is rather confronting them ,....focus to be financially independent and move on
My father scold me with bad words everyday without Any Reason 😢
😂
True
Same my parents 😢
Nenga solra points perfect match my parents same mindset 28 years not understand me 😢😢😢 upcoming feature la na parent ta erukurapo toxic mindset vanturunu bayama eruku . Nenga tips na follow panipakura 👍👍👍..
Poradunga thuninchi ninnu ethirthu kelunga mudiyatha appo avanga pechaye kelunga that's all
@@abinanth5349428 y sa nenga solrathetapanitu eruka evanugala na onenuma important Ella ji🥺
100000000000000000................percent best solution (financially independent) bcz i am also planning to do the sameeee even before watch this vd bcz there is no any other ways bcz they will never support ,the one and only way is ,study hard learn a lot and earn a lot getting a good job far far far away from home and stay there with a peice of mind
@ClarityforTnpscNaanum than
Romba toxic a irkanga
Vittu pogavum mudiyalaaaa
But enna panrathu
I'm not a teenager...I'm 23 but they treat me like a kid...they are so toxic and burden to me...enna control panna try pandranga..harshful people
I am also
Same bro i am 22
"nalla matukku oru sudu" nu solliye , nalla maad-a ,chinna,chinna vishiyathuku yellam soodu vachu,vachu
Kadeysila nalla maadu ,"ketta maada irunthalum kooda ithe alavu soodu than kideikum" nu solli,ketta madave maridum.😔
My father joined me in government school, even though i wanted to join in private school for my future. He is Government school teacher which is considered as a prestige job, so that He could afford my studies in private school. While other colleagues of my father was studying in good private school, he joined me in government school. Though he knew that Government schools are not good schools because he is a government school teacher.
Then, I studied my Entire school education in government school. I was studying school I used to come to home by hanging in government buses because that much crowd would be there. Then after some distance buses will not come regularly so I should walk like 2 to 3 km.
Atlast Some how I got good marks in my 12th(not top mark). But They expected me to top in my 12th board so they were disappointed by seeing my mark.
They didn't see my efforts.
Then I want to pursue Engineering in Computer Science. Then I joined in average private college. Though my mark was not Better( but good) . I have studied in tamil medium so I struggled to study in English in my first year so I got some arrear. Then they blamed me for this. When Paying fee for college Mu father will say that I pay you fees constantly, this will make me uncomfortable and they hate me for this.
Atlast, They never did anything for me like he is our child so we should do.
They never appreciated me.but always blamed me.
Then Whenever I wanted money I used to avoid that expenditure like bus fare and even going to shop to buy something for snacks because They won't give me money
They feel me that I'm burden to them.
They make me also feel like that😢😢
I have a toxic parent l am only 12 years but they depressed me alot
Don't worry ❤maa.. I'm also face this problem when I'm 12 but now I'm 17..enaku edhu palagiducha nu thrla..but sometimes enaku music dha heal pannum..still I'm facing this problem..but avanga sluvanga I'm the best parents 😅 now I'm feeling okay to have them because I'm studying hard to get out of my house..so just put your all efforts in study..nee unakaga padii ❤️because namaku knowledge dha namba life ah smooth ah kondu poogum..but I swore I never be like them 🙂
my mother in law is like this toxic…. so insightful soo thank u mam… sooo niceeee
Can you recommend me a Tamil book on this subject please
I wish I should have seen this video in my teen age and now I could understand I'm not the only person who face this. Thanks for the video
I was going through cancer treatment, even at that time she wa yelling...i tried my best to make her understand, that i am alreay going through a lot due to cancer...but still she continued on her own thoughts...they never listen. They always think what they are saying or doing is correct😢😢😢
Be strong champ..
God bless you dear 😢
Who is she? I am angry why she behaved during your treatment? Your health is more important. Leave her whether it is mother or wife or lover
I am facing these situation with toxic in-laws for more than 12yrs. Because of office work I came to pune since last year. Now myself and husband live peacefully
I have also toxic parents irunthunala suicide kuda try panni irukken but ethuvum success akala but inum vara poratitu irukken money pisasunga over torture mudiyala eppavume enna kevala paduthithan pesuvanunga ivanukku pullaiya poranthathuku porakamalaiye irunthu irukkalam 🤧
Same mind set same problem 🥺
@@Bbvicky826 it's ok bro ethu nadathalum pathukalam but eppavum yarukkavum give up mattum pannathinga one day avangale feel pannuvanga ippadi oru pillaiya kasta paduthi irukkome nu ....avangal feel panna vaikura alavukku neenga unga life ah lead pannunga bro 😌all is well untill ur hard work....
Jesus kitta prayer pannunga...he will change everything... U believe jesus....
I'll agree with the fact that achieving financial independence may help to get out of toxic environment which meant toxic parents. But what if I have to take care of them in their old age , if they become dependent on me in all financial and other aspects??? Staying away and supporting them I think it won't work. I can't simply deny my responsibility by stepping out of them. At the same time, being with them is equally damage my mental health. As of now I think I'll get my mental freedom only after their last breath.. what I should do?
Just send them money.Be physically unavailable just like how they were unavailable to you.
💯💯💯💯💯💯independent and seperate living life is best🦁
thanks akka I think you're words are very valuable to me thank you
Ur so damn true madam. Thank you for speaking ❤
I have a toxic mother, I have 2 children, I'm afraid to look like her
Me too have.i believed her and lost all in 30 years.just escape
Iam not married yet but even I am afraid of the same thing
It's true I have toxic parents 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Toxic parents பற்றி தமிழ் book இருக்கா ?
Ennala mudila. Romba bayamuruthuraanga
enga appa ipdi dhaan :(
exactlyyy trueeeeee
3:38 my mom always i tried tell this politely ,but she reply with abusive words tring to stop talking with her but my requirement makes to soooo stressed and drepressed😭☹
clg ah?
Thank you for this
All this is happening fr me and sister from age of 18, my dad dint join me fr college he said me nd my sister to go work we worked and gave everything to parents, they wil not allow to save money fr us even after marriage, moreover when the time of marriage they wr not ready to spend money becoz we are girls, we did love marriage to come out of the house at the age of 28 , after marriage still they r asking for salary and asking to live husband and creating problems, dad use very bad words to 30 yrs n 28 yrs women not able to bare the aggressive behaviour of mom and dad.
I had gone thru this eating issue because they wil tell not to eat at my home no food fr u
Suppose young adult person ku toxic parents independent ah erruka vedanala enna pananum?
We are scolding then often because we are trying to make the be good rather than being to bad
Thank you for video
god! im here after jason Samuel's video. How she flips the context is mindblowing . In one video she tells everytime yoiu have to ask consent to your child before hugging/kissing them. In another video she tells not necessarily she is my own child I do not have to ask everytime. So what are you teaching young parents? Dont misguide them. I followed you for your valuable content from 2020 . Now that pookari video you have taken on Vishu morning and posted in July ? Just to promote your parenting classes ? How cheap !!!!!!!
Tq for this video
Akka I'm 23 now, I'm the first child daughter, starting from childhood I'm having this type of trouble. Still too. That days my father doing now his son, I I can't take this is, I m done with this family, Im feel wanna die 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Correct
I am 35 years old married to good man n good 2 girl children but still I suffer from toxic parents they make me alone from friend relatives, they ill not let me to do one birthday function for my the children ,they come daily to my home n disturb as my I grand parents pls help in this situation
Same situation sister
Akka yanga akka kuda idhu madhiri sollale nidha yanaku akka.........love you akka ..
THIS IS TRUE
😂😂!🙌🏻❤️
😊❤
Yes
❤❤
Akka konja smoking Ku addict aitaan first smoke inta enakum ammakum ana sandaila start Achu apdiye tension la adikurathu and habit aichu konja control tips sollunga , vidanum nu aasa already one year quit pannan thirupi start pantan 😢😢
My mother is like that only... Always predict me bad and scolding me. Always wanna degrade me. Now iam mom of 2 kids bit still my mom scold me badly before my children's. I am totally vex.😢😢😢
😂😂😂
@Prasath-uo7uc 🥸🥸🤣
ellam fine mam but pocket money enaku kuduka maatranga..then neenga solra madhri how can i save money? :(
I am 34old my parents are toxic .thy hurted me lot .frm my childhood days to still they didn't changed their character... They dnt have any feelings for me thy feel and openly telling am burden to them .
Nobody creating awareness on this
Enoda parents enaku endha kettadhu nadakalanu vangale imagine pani edho edho peasuraga enake ena marandha mari eruku enaku ena nadakudhunu avanga pakamaley imagine pani solraga enoda vesayatha seiya veda matraga avanga epudi nenaikuragalo apudi dha erukanu nenaikuraga enaku ena panradhunu thrla😢
Enga veetlaiyum apdithan akka enna panrathunu therila
Mam enakku Oru problem
Pongal theebaleeku kooda warakudathu
Enga amma vara vara enna yaaramathri pakuranga motha enmela anba erupanga🥲
😭😭
Nallarukkara kudumbatha kedukkathinga. Unga vedio vala inga oru kudumbame sidhari kidakkuyhu
Mobile Adhigam use pannatha, nalladhu kettathu pirithuarinchi kathukko nu lifekku thevaiyanayha advise pannale taxic parents aah. Thayavu seithu pasangala miss Guide panna vendam
Kaindy tell us positive stuff rather than telling us to go away for parents 😡
Nowadays children are not listening to our words now they will not even come to haome
@joycreation6604
We can't change Toxic person's character. Only thing we can do is to loosen the rope instead of holding tight and getting hurt more. They can change only if they faithfully think they need to change.
If children are not listening to elders words, the parents should find out childern's interest and find ways to spend quality, fun time with them in a way that makes the child to think they've got enjoyable, supportive parents who are equal to friends. Ofcourse parents can't replace friends. But still if you speak mindfully and bring them up by allowing them to choose/decide everything in every situation, you can foresee the qualities of children. At that time if you feel any of their decision is wrong or bad, you can assist them, politely explain the consequences and make them understand. Just stand beside them don't hold them tight. Most of the children learn from their parents. Children are watchful of their environment. Create empathy, create bonding, create trust. While at the same time don't forget to teach morality, cleanliness. These have the potential to reduce half of the issues. Discipline comes through respect, They don't like to disappoint their favourite person. Respect them for you to be respected. If you want to correct something, Express your disappointment to them, let them explain you why they actioned so. Ask them if what they've done is right or if they feel they would have actioned in a better way. Don't make them feel guilty, instead make them think of their action and their accountability. This allows them to grow to be a mentally strong person in turn creates a healthy family. Appreciate them their efforts and little wins, also let them witness your hard works, contribution, sufferings and hurdles of life. Good luck 🤞
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