The Struggles of ASEXUALITY ft. Echo + Aaron | ChandlerNWilson
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- Опубліковано 29 лип 2018
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In this video, Echo, Aaron, and I discuss different reasons asexual people struggle with coming out.
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• Why Do (Some) Asexuals...
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Thanks so much for watching this video where Echo, Aaron, and I discuss some of the struggles faced by the asexual community! And a huge thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video!
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How many of you all also identify as asexual? What helped you come out as ace? (or aro! Lots of parallels there!)
Click the links in the bios to watch the videos we made on their channels! Subscribe while you're over there and comment that Chan sent ya 👀
I am a fellow asexual. Personally, I am repulsed by sex, henceforth I will never “do it” with someone. It took me awhile to realize that I didn’t have to come-out as asexual, and even now I personally stand by that realization. Due to my sex-repulsion and the fact I’ll never “do it” with someone, all my asexuality really dictates (in an over simplified form) is that I will never have sex, my “sex life” won’t exist. No one needs to know about my sex-life, existent or not, so I didn’t feel I had to come-out to anyone (except myself) about my asexuality.
I'm ace too! Or maybe on the grey area. Dark dark grey😂
Well I don't feel the need to come out to my family and i'll never do it, but i did talk to my closest friends and my boyfriend of course (we are 19yo and he's my first bf! We've been together for more than 1year💘 and yes we do have sex, frequently, but it's not a story i will share). The info i found on the old AVEN site, the friendly community, gave me the couragd to do so. I wasn't even a member, but reading their messages made me understand that it was ok to be the way i am and that it wasn't just me the "problem". It made me feel so comfortable with the situation that now it feels completely normal and fine🎉
I remember i used to feel so scared and anxious about the future!
Selfless Cae Sounds right👍
Aren’t you married? it would be great to have your pov to be in a nonsexual marriage
I recently realised I am asexual, so I'm still pretty unsure about myself sometimes, but I was practically sitting here the whole video going, "Yes! I totally get that, that's so me!" and it really helped reaffirm and place more confidence in my identity as asexual. So thank you so much for this video, you are all amazing! 💜
I never felt broken before I realized I was asexual. I just thought everyone around me was a pervert!
MewWolf5 literally me at 14
Literally me now
YASSSS YASS SWEETY YASS THIS IS MEE
i actually thought i was broken but soon realized that i’m just different! nice to see some fellow aces here. :)
Ethan that sounds a bit like being aromantic
I'm ace and I found out less than a year ago. I always mistook aesthetic attraction (likeing how someone looks, that's it) for sexual attraction. When I found out I was just hit with a wave of "wow, everything makes sense now'
Meeeeeeeee
emo.hufflepuff yeah, I’m 28 and just starting to accept this
I identify as ace and I doubt my self so much with the confusion of aesthetic and attraction
I didn't know that until just now so thank you
You commenting that just hit me with the, " wow" wave lol that makes so much more sense.
This collab proves a theory: All aces have incredible hair
Because yes. :3 IT IS CONFIRMED
Sorry my hair is trash
Because yes. :3 I can half confirm this
I wish my hair was incredible :(
Because yes. :3 counter example my hair is the worst it is a frizzy mess that looks like a mushroom
“I won’t initiate it because I don’t think about it” THAT was super affirming to me thank you. For whatever reason that allowed me to validate myself. I actually needed that.
I really connected with that comment too!
This is my experience too, oh my gosh.
I still find people attractive and cute but not sexually attractive
same
same
Understandable. I’m still able to tell when someone wins the genetic lottery even if I don’t like them.
Finding someone attractive is called aesthetic attraction. It’s not the same as sexual attraction. Aces can have aesthetic attraction but NOT sexual attraction
Same. I’m pretty sure that’s called having aesthetic attraction
I love the way y’all explain asexually. Im not asexual myself but my daughter is. It helps to learn. 💙💜❤️
Jeri JT Stovall you're an amazing parent...
From another ace daughter- thank you for taking the time to learn!!! My mum tries to learn by watching videos like this too and even though she doesn't always understand or get it all right, it's so so helpful to know that she loves me and supports me and is doing extra stuff on her own to try to learn instead of making it all my responsibility to teach her.
yall have such great mums, mine just called it a phase.
she is ok with it tho i think, she said i'm "right off the idea" of having kids
the first time i brought it up (I was 13, 14 maybe?) my mum definitely thought it was just a phase, that I didn't know what I was talking about. now i'm halfway through college, so the fact that i still don't experience sexual attraction or want that part of a relationship is more unusual. i dunno if you're young, but if you are, give your mum some time. Just try to remember that you know yourself best.
Seaweedgirl1 like i said, i think she's catching on that it isn't a phase because of the whole "right off the idea" thing
if you don't know what being right off the idea of something is, it's when you don't want it/don't like it (like how someone can be right off the idea of pineapple on pizza)
idk british slang is hard to explain lol
To go with how people don't expect you to be ace, I have a friend on the ace spectrum who likes clothes typically seen as "sexy" and she makes jokes like that but she just doesn't personally feel that attraction. All ace people are different.
I just imagine allos being like "You don't look ace..." oh wait lemme just... *comes back wearing a nun robe*
@@Hi-vf9wx with an ace card slapped onto my forehead
😂😂 my friends are always pointing out “hot” people and I’m so oblivious I’m just like “oh ok cool, sure 🤷🏼♂️?”
That's a mood lmao
I actually thought that “hot” meant very good looking - very esthetically pleasing - and sometimes I didn’t understand their “taste”.
SAME
i say hot but because i do find a lot of people physically attractive
Steph Utech I can see it once someone points it out but I’m not 👀👀 like my friends
"Let's play legos!" I don't think I've ever related to something more.
I laugh so hard cause I still play with LEGO’s
LEGO squad I am almost 18 lmao never too old to be building with LEGO’s it helps me think critically ^_^ 🖤
I want legos! All I ever got were wood blocks.
Lego Minecraft on my desk xD
WHEN THEY'RE ALL GOING THROUGH THAT SEXUAL PHASE AND YOURE STILL LIKE "lets play legos" MEEEEE
I'm am ftm ace myself, and that comment is EXACTLY what I'm like. I had a demi friend who tried telling me I'm not ace, and that I may feel ace bc of my identity, which felt invalidating. I needed this video, and that comment!
thats how explain my aceness to ppl.
Damn that's messed up
I've been loving how more and more lgbt+ youtubers are being ace positive
YES! It has warmed my heart to see so much ace positivity esp after all that ace exclusionist bs during pride month
@@ChandlerNWilson The first time I typed the word "asexual" into youtube search I came across a video by Viscount Strophanthus. Do you remember him?
Being ace: Hard
Being aro: Also hard
Being both: Hardest thing you will ever have to go through like wtf
Triple A Not for me. I love it.
I love it. It's everybody else that makes it weird, not me! But I'm okay with that...
Hum...aro ace is actually the easier case, by far.
Romantic asexual is the most difficult.
Try birom ace, shit's just like a downright mean joke
saying it's super hard, is not gonna change anything.... hope you find your soulmate
Those "sexy " commercials are weird anyway don't worry ;)
I relate to this a ton, especially the “waiting to bloom” part, I always felt like some day I would suddenly get it, but I’m an adult now and it’s never hit me. I still understand when people see someone and go “ooh”, but for me it’s purely aesthetic and I would never want to do anything more than cuddle with even the hottest of people.
Fun fact: I do have a hormonal disorder and I’m being treated for it and IM STILL ACE. It’s not going to suddenly change because my hormones are more balanced. My sexuality is not a disorder. My disorder is completely separate. Thank you.
I just told my mother I’m asexual and all she said was, “oh you’ll get there one day.” Woman I’m almost 40- it ain’t happening!
I can't believe even when you're lived 4 decades people still react in that way
As an asexual person, during the entire video I was like "EXACTLY" or "SAME." Learning about the asexual label made me realize that I wasn't broken, that I could still romantically love someone, and that I was capable and deserving of love :)
romance is lust, which then leads to sexuality.
I have never nodded at a video so many times ever!!!
@@nefelibata4190 as a romantic ace, I'm going to have to disagree. Romance is separate from sexuality for a lot of us.
@@nefelibata4190 what the actual fuck
why does this make me smile soo much? im ace and its just amazing to see other ace people, who understands what im going through..
Supernatural!! Hi! Hehe
Sruthi Nambiar of course! Always! HI!
I thank people like you everyday. You are the reason I discovered my asexuality when I was 12. I am now 17 and I'm so annoyed that everyone still thinks it's a phase. I've never felt better with my identity than I do now. My country has the biggest pride parade in the world and there is no ace visibility at all.
Yes. .identity is subject to change.
@Zoe Theobald i am 13 and this is relatable
To any young aces reading this: it's okay to say you're ace, no matter your age! I found out I could be ace when I was 15, and even then I felt like I was too young to decide for sure. Later on I realized it was okay for labels to change. If later on you realize ace isn't the right label for you, that's okay! It's what fits *now* and if it helps you to be comfortable in your identity, that's great! You are living in the present, not in the future, so don't worry about Future You. Right after I turned 16, I decided to use the asexual label "for now" and I am now 18 and still comfortable with it.
I came out as ace and my dad just said “don’t give it a bs name, that’s not what it means. There’s are plenty of people who just CHOSE to remain abstinent” and I was so close to throwing hands!!
AAAaah I'm so sorry that happened to you! :'(
My first and only boyfriend literally lasted a day. He asked me out after school one day and since all of my friends were dating I felt like I was supposed to say yes, so I did. He then started getting a lot closer to me and and touching me, which made me uncomfortable and I realized I never liked him like that. I was never attracted to him and when I started thinking about it, I realized I've never been attracted to any boy, so I started wondering if I was a lesbian, but then I thought no, I've never been attracted to girls either. Then I saw the ace flag for the first time and wondered what it was for. When I discovered asexuality was a thing it was like something clicked cause I had finally found where I fit in.
so proud of you!
I'm not Ace but I have a best friend who is and who is proud to be in the LGBTQIA community, and I get SO mad when someone says that asexual is not a sexual orientation or part of the community and it's just so not tRUE. Asexuals are great and platonic love is amazing in it's own right. And Aromantic and Asexual are also different and so many people don't understand and I've even questioned my own sexuality like that in the past. and ugh. Okay rant over xD
Rhian Kidd OMG SAME
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY ASEXUALITY DOESN'T EXIST
_BITHC IF IT DOESN'T EXIST I MUST BE UR IMAGINATION LMAO_
Every time I see the word "aromantic" my brain reads "aromatic." :)
Shala Carter lol, i used to be the same, and still sometimes get excited when i see the word "aromatic" cuz i think it says "aromantic" and i'm like "wow aromantic merch?? yes please- oh"
@@Tw1nkSupreme agree agree agree as an ace person
asexuals are frigid people. period.
I’m personally not asexual but I think it’s such a shame that people in the LGBTQ+ community try to erase them. Don’t many people from the LGBTQ+ community have some sort of experience in being erased? If so, why would you want to do the same to someone in a safe space?
Asexuality is something great, not broken.
ikr?like isn't the whole point of this community to be inclusive??
i’m allergic to cats Oppression olympics really gets annoying after a while. People who lack a gender still get accepted.
Their argument is always "they don't experience discrimination like trans or gay people etc." THIS ALONE is
1. not true and
2. this statement itself is discriminating lol.
@@mariafausti3128 yes and no, it's about how much suffering they have so they can be together in fighting that oppression and have comradary in misery over the pain
@@exoticcats6119 or say "my gender is kind of like a lost cat in a junkyard"
I think the most confusing thing for me is being heteromantic. I am definitely attracted to people, but I want to hold their hands and even cuddle. I don't register people are thinking "I want to be on that." lol
Thank you so much for this video. I'm an elder ace, and surrounded by who I always felt were hyper sexual people. Turns out they were just people. This video made me feel like their are folks who understand. :)
Same
Cuddles are great
hi.. Jnana Shakti,
I'm a male and asexual,
me to heteromantic,
holding hands , cuddle, hugs ok,
not interested in sexual intercourse,
I'm searching for asexual partner..
As an aro and ace person, I relate so much. I often feel like we're invisible. I hesitated so long to go to my first Pride because I was scared of being rejected by LGBTQ+ people. I don't regret going, but I only saw like, 4 aces? And no aro. Zero. It's a bit hard sometimes. So thank you so much for this video, it show me I'm not alone. ♡
Yeah, I painted my nails in ace and aro flag colors when I went to my first pride but I also saw only a handful of other asexual people. I feel like part of it is simply that we’re not as loud as some other parts of the community?
I haven’t come out to a lot of people because I feel like coming out needs to be followed by a long explanation of what being aro/ace means and most people either think it sounds kind of sad, like I’m missing out, or they assume I just haven’t found ‘the one’ yet.
Tove Kauppi I feel you. Hopefully things will change, little by little.
Hey, I've been there, Aro isn't very well represented, but never let that make you feel like your alone. You are perfectly wonderful, no matter how many people say they're like you. - your aro bro
What’s aro again? ._. Oofles
@@memo4870 It means aromantic. Aros don't experience any romantic feelings. And then there is a whole aro spectrum, look it up if you wanna educate yourself. ~
It's the ace trifecta!
emotional_canteloupe man, woman, enby. Mood.
A l l e g e d l y TM the gang's all here
I dont understand why asexual gets hate from the rest of LGBTQ+. I mean, asexual is just lacking sexual feelings, same way agender is lacking gender but most agender people (from my experience) have been pretty accepted. I just dont understand people. Also, i wanna try the online counciling but im scared cuz im still young and dont want my parents to know.
(I’m not saying this as a justification, but as an explanation.) I think certain categories are more excluded because it’s easier for them to “pass” in normal society. It’s rare that someone has to explain why they have no partner. But in more conservative social circles, one would have to explain having a partner of the same gender, multiple partners, etc.
@@viviannichols3582 I disagree, society is so obsessed with relationships and you'd be surprised how often someone can get asked why they're not in a relationship yet. A family member just found out they were having a baby and the first reaction to them telling people the news was for them to turn to me and ask me why I'm not in a relationship. Like why are you asking now???? xD I get bombarded with it 24/7 and if you have people who you know won't really be accepting or understanding of it it can be really scary. I've had people try and force me into a relationship with someone else cause they "knew" I liked them and I obviously had no interest, and I was in a situation where I really didn't want to "come out" to those people, so I was stuck. Sometimes passing as straight can be a nightmare when you're not straight at all because sometimes if you explain to them that you're ace they don't believe you and other times you can't tell them so you have to go through rejecting without an explanation. And then you have others harassing you all of the time about guys and you just wanna tell them so they'll leave you alone but you know you can't tell them D;
I once talked to a person who was very adamant on ace people not being accepted into the LGBT+ community, and she literally said " Asexuals have never experienced persecution because of who they were" I just sort of left the conversation after that.
@@MsKitty-mz5ck none of the arguments make any sense and is often just regurgitated exclusion of other sexualities etc. It's such a waste of time when there's so many issues that we could all work together to help fix but instead minorities gotta attack other minorities, it's so silly.
Ms. Kitty I hate it when people say ace people aren’t oppressed or aren’t oppressed enough to be LGBTQ+. It’s such a dumb argument
I FINALLY FOUND AN ACE UA-cam
I'm so happy 😍
2 years later 100th like congrats
YES I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
Kovu is a unicorn !!! Hunty!!! We're finally out here lmao
Kovuuuuu
Kovu!!!!!!
ChandlerNWilson KOVU!!!
Kovu is a unicorn, and Chandler N Wilson... two greats on one comment section... what shall ensue???
I remember when I learned the word “sexy” and just saw it meaning the same as “glamorous” and I would call the most random things “sexy” lmao.
Same 😩😂
I just thought it was another word for pretty or beautiful
An ace moment that has happened many times to me:
Me: *Telling story, mention a new guy*
Other person: (interrupting) Oh, was he cute?
Me, annoyed because a) I was interrupted, b) his looks are irrelevant to the story, and c) I don't know, I didn't pay attention to his looks: *thinks of what he looked like for a moment* Uh, yeah, sure. Anyways...
Truuuue, also I don’t know if it’s just because I’m ace but it seems kind of materialistic how focused some people are on how cute/hot someone is no matter what the situation is. No harm is meant by it so I don’t say much but still
Whenever I see someone call a guy cute I'm just like "uh huh yeah he is"
And like in my mind, like, that's just a dude, he looks like that other dude over there you called not cute 10 minutes ago.
This is very much me. Wow.
It's nice to hear from a fellow sassy ace :)
That’s happened to me too. My usual response was “what does that have to do with anything? You’re sidetracking me!”
As an ace person (technically demi) this hits home for me. It's nice to hear about other people in the community who feel the way that I do.
So many people in my life keep telling me that I can't be ace because I have two kids. I wish I didn't have to constantly explain myself. Most of the time I just don't tell anyone.
I am curious as to how you ended up as a parent. What sort of relationship (if any) did you / do you have with the father? Unless you adopted, or used a sperm donor? If this is too personal, feel free to ignore these questions.
Even though i don’t ID as ace, I completely agree that sexual commercials are extremely awkward. Especially if it is a commercial for something that isn’t sexy at all. Like no, I don’t want to eat a burger that someone has had sex with...
They are so strange, truly ahahah
And 'sexy' music clips 😅
YES REPRESENTATION!
I’m asexual but I have these things like “kinks”. For example, I like certain voices, smells, and color combinations. And it’s more than a normal “Oh, I enjoy this.” feeling. It will give me goosebumps, shivers and make me blush and stuff. It’s really weird to then have to explain that, no, I’m not attracted to my teacher, I just really like his cologne.
This is a collab I didn't know I needed
L... Y did u die in death note.....
Pearl Daggett Shh, it was all a part of the plan.
As a local Asexual, this is something I go through omggg, thank you for this video !
ALL OF MY FAVORITES IN ONE VIDEO EXPLAINING MY STRUGGLES AS WELL my day has been made
AHH THANK YOU!!!! 💗💗💗
Love this so much! I'll jump in on the part where you mentioned going through puberty and waiting for the switch to flip and not realising you're ace until much later. I totally had that experience but with an added twist of Christianity, where I was taught to wait 'til marriage. So, not only did I not experience sexual attraction, but I also thought that it was due to my decision to wait (sexuality isn't a choice - I know this, now). It wasn't until my mid 20's, when all my Christian friends were marrying off, that I began to wonder if it wasn't a switch that needed to be flipped, but that I just didn't have a switch at all.
Old comment but same for me I made that decision when young and then had the moment of oh , maybe I don't have the switch
@@cleone423 It adds so much confusion! So nice to know I’m not alone in this experience!
You know it did explain why I thought the whole saving it till marriage thing seemed a bit too easy! No it wasn't for any sort or religious reasons (as is the stereotype) but it's just the smartest way to do it. After all you only get one V-card and there's no do-overs, and you certainly don't want to risk getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant before either/both of you are truly ready for that kind of thing not to mention getting HIV or something. Yeah there is "protection" but like most everything else in life it's not foolproof.
@@JohnSmith-zw8vp Yes oh my gosh! So many reasons to just nope right out of there haha!
As someone who is very out when it comes to their asexuality for quite some time now but def deals with all those "oh i'm just concerned about you health" and other things said, etc. videos like these are so reaffirming and so nice so THANK YOUUU
ok, let's start over. HELLO 😊
heeeey 😊
hey, how are you ? 😊
Its so interesting hearing ace ppl talk about their sexuality and their experiences being ace cause im the complete opposite i was an extremely early bloomer and am a very sexual person so its cool learning about peoples experiences when theyre completely different to me in that aspect
I love this video! I'm so glad there's more discussion about asexuality online. For a while now I have been trying to figure out where I belong sexually. I am really apathetic when it comes to sex. It just doesn't appeal to me. When I look at people I am aesthetically attracted to them, but I don't think of sex. (TMI) I have a libido and I do have fantasies but a lot of times I don't want to act on them. (end of TMI)
I think I might be on the ace spectrum, but now sure where. I'm glad there is more discussion about ace identities. It's really helped me over the last few years.
I completely relate to this.
I'm pretty similar. I often use terms "grey-A" and "greysexual", because they don't necessarily mean zero sexual desire altogether, but they do suggest it's very rare or infrequent.
Also, Akoisexual is a term that basically means someone can feel sexual attraction, but has zero desire to act on it or can lose that desire as soon as it's reciprocated. That might be another possibility... 🤷♀️
If you go far enough down the rabbit hole that is the internet, you can find various lists of definitions and might be able to find an identity you relate to the most. Hope that helps. 🙂
When you have no sexual attraction or romantic attraction, but only aesthetic attraction and you like the idea of a relationship, but can't bring out the feelings in you to have a healthy one. 🥺👉👈
206pm Wednesday December 23, 2020
I like the way you maintain eye contact with your friends whenever they're talking
So happy you’re back and doing well, mental health comes first 💚💚
You're so sweet thank you!!
I'm so glad I found this. I have just recently identified myself as asexual and for the longest time i would fake sexual attraction or try to jump start it in multiple ways. I'm just so happy that I'm not alone in my feelings that I had to show something.
"they try and fix you"
agree with this video 100%
I'm demisexual so I relate so much on everything you guys talk about in this video
As a recently out aro I feel super broken on that side. Coming out as ace took time but it wasn't painful. This time I am super confused and scared. Will people ever want to be in relationships with me ? Will they understand/accept that aromanticism means I want/can have qpr ? For my entire life I was drawn by the idea of love. Society completely brainwashed me : even though I don't ever feel love I desperately want it
DarkPoint yeah, I can relate to that. I was kind of sort of in a relationship? with a guy a little over a year ago that mostly consisted of cuddling and talking about anything and being able to be close to someone, but that ended when he found someone he was attracted to. I don’t blame him as it was always sort of part of the deal but it still kind of sucked.
That said, I still feel relatively optimistic that I will eventually find someone to share my life with.
@@tovekauppi1616 If feel so bad for you! Why can't that be a thing in our society? For me, this sounds like a perfect relationship it's so sad that almost everyone needs more
This is the second video I've watched of yours and YOU'RE ACE!??!? I thought i had searched the whole of youtube and found all of the asexual youtubers but WOOP I found another!
It's lovely to find another little bit of representation in the media, we need all the representation that we can get because there really isn't much! Thanks for existing!
Please tell, who are all of the others?? I'm looking for more ace youtubers to watch!
I am flabbergasted. I never realized that the “spectrum” contained this range of expression. I’m almost 78 years old and I am a substitute teacher, and I would have liked this kind of tolerance that I see in the schools today when I was growing up. Now it seems that I shall have the privilege of growing old and there is so much to learn.
im glad youre stilp learning at that age. i hope i can still learn like you when im older
@@iguessyeah8687 Growing old is automatic; learning isn’t. Commence now.
Woow echo's hair is in flamesss
I still hear this. Many people treat me as a child and I sometimes will fall into feeling like one( or that I have not developed correctly... yet). Btw I'm 30 and still have not experienced sexual attraction.
I'm 27! So slightly younger, but yeah, I get that too, it sucks.
Grrr yeah I understand the whole thing about people thinking your a "troll" or ew or faking it. Even in a lgbtq+ form or online space.
I'm ACE too and so thankful for this video.
Wow.... ouch... that hit way too close to home. I just discovered you through your Thomas Sanders collab and as soon as a saw this in the recommended videos it was an immediate click. It's so nice just hearing someone else talk about all the things that I went through out loud and validating it. Also thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU for talking about being ace and romantic! Not a lot of people talk about that and it is such a struggle! It causes so much anxiety and confusion. I'm constantly flipping back and forth between thinking I'm aro and that I'm romantic. Just AGH! It makes me want to scream sometimes how confusing romantic attraction is without having that sexual impulse. So long story short... Awesome vid and thank you!
I WAS SO SHOOK WHEN PEOPLE FIND RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE STREET ATTRACTIVE
WHEN MY FRIENDS WERE SAYING THINGS LIKE "HE'S SO HOT"
I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING
I DIDN'T KNOW
PEOPLE ACTUALLY THOUGHT RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE STREET ARE ATTRACTIVE
The "A" in LGBTQIA+ stands for Aro/Ace so 😛😛😛
But also, I feel quite a bit of relation to this video, while I'm not particularly Ace (at least that's how I see it), I'm on the spectrum, of course, my sexuality is extremely picky when it comes to the person, I feel the whole romance part of relationship, but the sexual part is like... eeh.
I guess some of it is part of my whole gender identity thing going on that's been a mess for two years. Most of the reason I find that I haven't come out as Ace/Ace-spectrum is because of all the Ace-phobia in the LGBT+ community, same with my Bi friends who see the Bi-phobia and kind of, feel discouraged. But anyone in my eyes is valid.
GhostlyGay Amen!!!
And people still think that It stands for “Ally”
it can also stand for agender as well as ace/aro :)
Maybe youre demisexual, you dont have sexual attraction unless you have a very deep emotional connection, such as one in a long term relationship. Maybe, you can identify with whatever makes you comfortable.
Jae_K Official Or maybe greysexual
This video was so affirming, thank you. I finally realized and accepted my asexuality this year and its thanks to people like you creating this content. I wish we had UA-cam when I was growing up, I would not have felt so "wrong" for so long. ❤❤
4:47 HIS LIL RANT IS THE MOST REALEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. THIS IS IMPORTANT. SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK. OH MY WORD.
I need that "crystal queer" shirt.
Something I got during this conversation as someone who is aro but not ace is that we struggle in similar ways because culture is so sexualized but also so romantized. like grow up, get a job get a wife, have some kids. normal thing right? except it totally isn't. not to us at least
Waitwaitwait... So if someone makes a comment about how they are attracted to someone (the elevator example), it‘s not the appropriate reaction to laugh?
Bc I always do that. Like I‘m kinda aware that they are serious but it seems just such an out of the blue thing to say.
So I was wondering: What kind of reaction would be appropriate? I‘m a bit lost rn.
Apart from that, I loved this video! There were so many relatable comments! Sometimes I doubt if I‘m rly ace, maybe just bc I‘m not very proud (I‘m getting there though), bur videos like this give me security! Much love x
as a non-ace, i would say it's totally cool. don't worry too much about it. i mean, there's different kinds of laughter of course, but as long as the commenter doesn't feel humiliated/laughed at, it's fine ;) (when in doubt, just talk about it!)
when i comment about someone, i usually laugh at myself for being so thirsty, it's not like i solemnly declare my undying love for somebody 😁
My reaction is usually an "eh" (maybe) kinda sound & maybe a shrug, like acknowledging what they've just said, but not agreeing, because I don't feel it. 😅
This video is extremely validating to me and it makes me feel so much better about being asexual and to know other people are going through the same things is very helpful. Thank you 💖
I absolutely love that you're talking about this. I'm ace, and I never ever see people talking about the little daily aspects of how it effects life. Not just the acephobia, but the small moments of, as Echo put it, "oh I'm not like you". It's very affirming to be able to relate to someone over it.
Hi guys! Biromantic Ace here! Thanks for your video. Life is hard enough but being Ace on top of that? Talk about REALLY rough at times. Glad we are in this together!
(some) people in the LGBTQIA+ community: Allies are in the community! Aka, straight people that aren't jerks to anyone who's different.
Those same people: but asexuals aren't allowed.
I loved this & the other video on Aaron’s channel.Thank you so much for making this 💛🧡 I newly found that I fall on the ace spectrum and it’s been difficult trying to accept it tbh because of the world we live in,the environment I’m in,and stuff I’ve been through but hearing your stories & seeing there is others like me helps me.Makes me feel less alone in what I experience and feel
Watching you guys helped me to realise that I'm not just asexual, I'm aromantic as well.
This was so great. Honestly I feel so isolated because of being ace and this really makes my heart full
Better help is the new audible.
This video actually cleared up so much for me. I'm questioning whether I might be Asexual and I was just shook that some of the things I experienced or are experiencing were things that Asexuals had experienced.
Me too.
@@amyr3285 oh hey I forgot I wrote this comment. If it helps you at all, at this point in my life I'm questioning a lot of things about my identity but the one thing I'm sure about is being asexual. This isn't the experience for everyone but if you find yourself relating to a lot of the experiences and seem comfortable with the label it might be a pretty big indicator! ;)
This video is so true! I really resonate with this. I've only come out to my close friends (who were lovely of course) but it's always scary because of all of the crappy things people say. Especially since most people don't believe demisexuality is a real thing! Thanks for shedding light on these issues.
y'all are speaking to my soul rn
Aww I love Chandler’s voice
Yay Echo
As part of the asexual spectrum, I fully understand.
Thank you so much for this! I’m literally crying, I feel so glad to have found a community where people understand!!!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕
“Your just a late bloomer” not every plants have flowers, so not every plant is a late bloomer. Just some don’t bloom and that’s ok
Another difficult thing about asexuality is the perception of it as a personal fact or preference, as opposed to part of someone's identity. People see it on the same line as a kink or a relationship dynamic, not an orientation/sexuality. This is why a (former) friend of mine argued that they shouldn't be included in LGBTQ+ spaces, because it's so inherently different from sexual orientation. She argued that asexual people don't face the same type of institutionalised discrimination as queer or trans people (read: being fired, disowned, physically assaulted, etc) and that their presence would take away from 'the bigger issues'. She did say that if their romantic orientation fell anywhere other than hetero or if they identified as something other than cis, they should of course be welcome, but their asexuality is something left at the door.
This really hurt me, but what do you all think about this kind of reasoning?
YAS FOR ASEXUAL AWARENESS!
I’m a little late to the party but I just wanted to thank you for providing a resource for those questioning their sexuality and an affirmation for those who know they are ace but don’t get a lot of content about them.
Thank you so much!!!
This conversation makes me feel so much better. I can relate for sure. ❤️ It’s nice to see asexuals building a platform where they talk about these things. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I related to this so much and everything that was said. THANK YOU. I've experienced so many of these thoughts before about eventually needing to have sex because I'm expected to and people calling me "vanilla". I had a girlfriend when I was 18 who pulled the "most romantic act of love" bs on me and I felt very pressured into doing things with her and it's something I regret to this day.
I legit thought sexual attraction was fake for years
Oh I really enjoyed this chat about asexuality. You are such nice human beings. Super calming.:)
I'm so glad that the "did I ever really like them" thing came up in this video because I've experienced that myself and I've tried to convey it, but I've never been able to get across what I mean.
I'm ace, but I have a weird blurr between the area of what is my actual libido and what is my addictive personality latching onto the feeling of orgasm and it annoies me how much my body says "I neeeeeddddd"
is this supposed to be on unlisted mode? cause it's been up for like 20 hours and only has 7 views. Just pointing it out in case you didn't know.
I had added it to my collabs playlist so people who saw that got a sneak peak then lmao
I’m so glad I stumbled across this video. I recently found out that I’m heteroromantic asexual, and being able to put a label on the feeling has made me feel not broken for the first time in a long time. So much of what you guys talked about in this video resonates. It’s such a crazy feeling to know that other people feel the same way, and I’m not alone. Thank you so much for talking about your experiences.
loved this video! it is so validating to hear i wasn’t the only one who thought (thinks?) that sexual attraction is one big joke that society’s pulling on me,, really appreciated this!
When does everyone run out and tell get punnnkked also this is the most relatable video wow
Idk sometimes its a wakeup call when someone hits on me
I think they're joking then its like oh-
W h a t
Chandler, please don’t think you are broken. I really appreciate your self-knowledge as Ace and your personality and openness in describing how you are and how you feel. Your video friends are great too. Thank you all.
Echo, I'm so proud of you for coming out on your channel! I noticed your ring but never said anything about it.
A real struggle I have is kinda being aro/ace (maybe?). I never want to be alone my entire life, but I also really don’t want to be with anyone, ya know?...
All three of you together,my struggles disappeared
These types of videos are so self-affirming! Great job and thank you! 💜💜💜
Something I hate about it being invisible is that so many ppl dont get educated so its leaving them so many questions and it gets annoying to edplain it.every.dam.time😭😭