I'M FED UP with MY NATURAL HAIR!
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- Опубліковано 21 жов 2024
- Are you fed up with your NATURAL HAIR and want to relax it or cut it? Before you do that, please watch this video!
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My hair frustrates me . I never use my own hair . It's always in a braid. It's stubborn and needs to be in jail. I'm three years natural. People be like your hair is pretty. I'm like yeah you don't know her .
+Fenny Yah Taylor aww hi sis believe them when they say! Don't worry it will get better the more you get to know what works and what doesn't! Don't forget to moisturise with water when u braid it :)
+Dephne Madyara I will and thanks for the tips .
Hair jail, 😂😂😂
You don't know her😂😂😂😂
LOLLLL!!!!! sooo reallll
Remember God would not give you hair that is hard for you to maintain. Man complicates what does not need to be complicated.
that simple!
I agree
that's right, preach sista! es cierto asi como Dios no nos da prueba que no podamos pasar, asi igual con el cabello a cada uno les dio el tipo de cabello q sabe que podemos manejar =)
dam, that's the realest thing I've heard in a minute!!!
Amen!
I'm content with my 4b hair and I've been natural for 1 year now😄 but I do want my hair to grow longer so that I can do more styles with it, such as a high bun and etc. I don't compare my hair to other people's hair and I also don't care for other peoples opinion of it either; if I did I would not be natural ( because I have been told that I look like a field slave when I was transitioning and have been told by my family members that they don't like my hair after I big chopped)🙄 . But it is definitely a journey when it comes to maintaining our natural hair especially if it is kinky or "nappy", because not only are the tangles, shrinkage, and thickness foreign to us, but we have also been conformed to believe that the looser your hair (curl pattern) is the better it is (good hair). But to anyone who actually read all of this 😂your hair is beautiful and you are beautiful as well🤗
+Tricey Bear family members can be trip sometimes 😩 don't listen to them! Most of my family laughed at me but now most of them are naturals (including my mum lol!) Just keep it up they will follow eventually when they see your hair thriving! And thank you you are beautiful too and so is your hair!!
You're welcome and thank you for reading my message and responding...I know it was pretty long😂
Tricey Bear aww thank you I needed that, and your beautiful as well.
Great to hear this from others. I went through the same thing with my family, especially my mother who got so angry when I decided to transition. It was hurtful bc she had no problem with my younger sister getting a tattoo, but me rocking the hair God gave me was a problem for her. Smh. But I'm glad I didn't listen to my family because my hair is thicker and healthier than ever!
I'm 24 and I've been natural my entire life. I never ever processed my hair. I grew up in a strict family and church and they don't agree with processing hair, excessive jewelry and such. I'm very grateful for them because they prevented me from damaging my hair. None of my sister's have relaxed their hair either. We all have grown to take care of our natural hair and never grow tired of it so now it's strong, healthy and long.
Please I know a lot of natural hair nazis wouldn't like this but if you are 4b and 4c and you seem fed up with your hair then please listen to me
1.after applying your leave in conditioner seal it with hair grease(blue magic) you will be sincerely amazed at how your ends will behave for us in this group this really helps with length retention.
2. Then if you don't want to use grease then use Shea butter only don't mix it with anything else but just essential oils of your choice.
3.Lastly only jojoba and castor oil seal our ends other oil are just moisturising oils.
Shampoo hair weekly with black soap or clarifying shampoo(because of grease)
Prepoo hair with coconut oil mix with either castor oil or almond oil
And you will see your hair in its glory.
Uyai Umoren my hair is coarse tightly coiled. Not much stress but very dry. I use the loc method but I have to do it daily and I was thinking to go back to petroleum hair grease instead of creams. I use water hair cream and olive oil to moisturize and seal
Love the Naps ok dear this is for us who have dry hair.
There are only only 4 things that truly seal the moisture in hair for say 2-3 days
1.petroleum based hair pomade
2.shea butter
3.castor oil
4.jojoba oil
Olive oil is a moisturising oil it doesn't seal in moisture that is why you are complaining of dry hair all the time.Instead add olive oil to your moisturiser and seal your hair with one of the above.Bear in mind that jojoba oil is a light sealant.For twist out,braid-out and braids use shea butter or grease(petroleum based hair pomade) only, that way your hair stays softer longer and then you retain length.
Uyai Umoren Listen to her advice...shea butter and castor oil is the truth for coarse 4c hair.
+Uyai Umoren tried all of them none of them worked
+kevin except jojoba oil
i was 👌 this close to relaxing my 7th month growth( i am transitioning). I prayed to God to help me manage the hair He gave me and along came this video 💃❤. the journey continues 💪
Grace Kakumbi I transitioned for a year and it was tough. Once I cut it it was soooooo much easier. I was kicking myself as to why didn't just cut it off way earlier! Now I'm I'm almost five years in and I tell everyone just cut it off that transitioning alone can cause so many people to give up. So hang in there if you can, but if you really want to be fully natural and it's the transitioning process that you are tired of-you need to cut it!!!
Still natural? I’m on the fence.
She kinda resembles Leona Lewis.
Thank you so much for the encouragement! I just want to say "Don't forget about your hair when you have braids or a weave. Keep moisturising."
I'm tired and I just started lol. Thank you for this!
Great video, I'm not fed up, but was surprised in thinking you were! That's great advice to tell people wait for 5 years. Most black women don't even know how to care for their hair properly and learning that process does not take a few months or even a year sometimes. It takes a while to understand your hair, what products work for you, what styles look good on you, etc. Its really worth it I mean for goodness sake it's your hair! Enjoy it in all its kinky!
coreenamusic
coreenamusic That is so true. It took me years and prayer to find out what my hair likes and how to care for it. Definitely have to be patient and love your at every phase. I finally reached BSL and I really believe it's because my attitude towards my hair has changed
Don't relax your hair! I regreted less then a week after I did it and a month later I cut it all off and started over!
Dephne I remember when you said you wanted to relax your hair for your wedding day lol I'm glad you stuck it out sis! Would you ever do dread locs?
Awesome!!!! Today I resisted the temptation to texturize, relax, or cut my hair. I had to just be still and trust that it all gets better with time. I got in the shower and rinsed everything out. Air dryed and got in bed and clicked and saw this video. Timing! Thanks soooo much!
Dephne, you almost had me on pins and needles but my discernment kicked in to say, she is meeting the needs of others out there who are feel this way.
Always you come with words of encouragements to uplift the countenances of people.
May God bless you for being humble and meek. peace.
Hey Dephne
I also want to suggest crochet braids and tree braids. They are great protective styles and they help your hair grow.
Thank you sis for the challenge to press on to 5yrs natural. I am 3+ yrs in and have already spoken with a beautician about getting a relaxer knowing my heart doesn't want that at all. I am just one of those people who doesn't have the talent for hair. I know how to leave it alone and let it grow but that's all. I am grateful for my length (APL), and really don't want to do anything drastic just bc I'm overwhelmed. Weave it is for the time being, but I really pray I figure out how to get to a place where I can just enjoy my hair as you do sis. Much love! 😘
Started my hair journey about 5 years ago and braids (protective styling in general) are DEFO the key to sticking with being natural. Good tips 🙌🏾
Thank you. Wigs are a blessing ladies. And you don't have spend a lot.
Great advice Dephne and well worth repeating. Natural hair, in all of its glory, can also be challenging but it is so worth it and inspires creativity...hairstyle versatility for sure!...can I just say that the title had me going for a good minute? Glad that there was no drastic cut to your own hair o_O
4yrs natural. Goiiiiirl i wanted to cut this mane off so bad! But, im good now. Hang in there yall!!!
well, i have been through that procees and i have to admit one feel so confused and desperate that you either want to cut all your off or get it straight and that was what i did, i started going to the hair salon to straight my hair and keep it "manageable" but one day i decided to wash my hair at home to check if my curls were still there, and for my suprise they were, even though i had and stil havel heat damage in some parts they are alive, and that made realized that the hair that i have on my head is the one i have to love and accept, and thanks GOD i did it, even though some days the strugle is real i find the way to get over it. so girls dont give up, stand up! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
Yesss, the struggle is real and expensive. I hid my hair in braids for the longest time. I would never walk outside my room with my natural hair. I felt ugly. But last week God did a new thing in me. I have to accept how i am and how I was created first. People will laugh. I live in a Chinese community so you can imagine. But I beg to differ. I will embrace my hair and take care of it. It's really not easy. My boyfriend has been really supportive, it is his first time seeing my natural hair. I am so thankful that he has nothing but good and encouraging comments ( whether what he is saying is true or not, it's encouraging and that is what I need). I have a wig but right now I need to work on loving my hair and wearing it confidently despite what the unfamiliar population may say or think.
I’ve learned to really pray over my hair and to learn patience to wash in sections like you Dephne! I use organic unrefined coconut oil, avocado oil and Shea butter to twist my hair. I twist and wear a wig that I can toss off at the end of the day to protect my natural hair. I have 4 B under this wig now. I’ve learned from you to keep our hair hydrated .... Love 💕 your helpful videos so much. Enjoy your day🏝
I think I'm more in between "I'm disappointed at myself" & "I'm sort of tired with dealing with my hair". I regret getting a relaxer (got it in the 6th grade, 2006 & got rid of it in 9th grade, March/April of 2009). The main reason I wanted it was because I was doing my own hair (I felt like I was old enough to do my own hair) & I couldn't manage it (my mom asked me over & over again if I was sure I wanted a relaxer). Then after that I regret not taking good care of it like I should have. Right now I'm just at the point where I feel like trying something new & cutting my hair into a bob or pixie cut. I'm turning 23 January 1st & it's time I do something out of the ordinary.
I've been feeling this way for months now. I'll be 6 years natural in February. However, wigs have been my go to now, I love it !
I'm 24 and I've been natural my entire life. I never ever processed my hair. I grew up in a strict family and church and they don't agree with processing hair, excessive jewelry and such. I'm very grateful for them because they prevented me from damaging my hair. None of my sister's have relaxed their hair either. We all have grown to take care of our natural hair and never grow tired of it so now it's strong, healthy and long.
I needed this video because this is exactly how I feel being 3 and a half years being natural. You basically said everything I feel. Thank you for your encouragement.
Thanks for making this video because it does get frustrating sometimes but it's worth hanging in there. God bless
My natural hair is long and I've been natural for 2 years. I legit bought KRS hair clip ins and have been straightening my hair not everyday, but I'm tired of it. Still will be natural forever, but I'm tired of the movement 😭💀 I don't hate it. I love it but now it's all about manageability
Wish I saw this 4 weeks ago. Got a relaxer and regret it everyday.
Black Bulma girl i feel you I was natural for 4 years. broke down...got a relaxer for 2 years now im almost 5 months into my transition. we live and learn . I wish you LUCK
karinaishxc thank you I wish you the same
Black Bulma I'm trying girl it's hard out here for a transitioner
Black Bulma no need to regret, it's still your hair, a part of you and you need to love it no matter what. The best thing is at least you have hair on your head
Uni Glor I know, I love my hair regardless. I regret the perm tho bc it damaged my hair.
I am SUPER happy with my hair texture. I blew dried it once in my almost 7 year journey, never straightened it, but I noticed the more I concentrate on hydration, the more the texture starts to change.....
Yes, it is a 4c, ... but.... it has a strange personality where it appears to have a curl pattern the older it gets. At this point, I can't even blame it on heat styling (because I don't even heat style) ....it's possible that I might be going through a texture change, or the length of my hair weighing it down as it get longer.... who knows...
the point of all this, is to say that my hair has a personality, and its really cool that I'm finally seeing that.
This video was made for me, thats how i feel and this morning i wanted to send a massage on Instagram, but i didn't know where to start from, and how to put it into the right words , i feel like cutting my hair or relax it but then again at the same time i am like i have been natural for three years why not carry on and see how far i can go.
thanks for your words of encouragement God bless you.
+nicolle funga aww I'm so glad it could help 3 years is a lot well done and hang in there a lot to learn as you continue in your journey :-) 😘
Another option could be doing fashion head wraps too with braids underneath.
I bought my perm. It's been in my cabinet for two weeks. I was going to perm my hair tomorrow. I've been natural for 6 years. I will wait a little while longer. Thanks for your (right on time) video.
thank you for this video. since natural in 2010 I have cut my hair after heat damage, then cut after a texturizer...twice, then cut again after a keratin treatment. tarted over 4 times, i am exhausted. i want to make peace with my hair. I am ready to let it do what it wants....
It took me a little over a year to be truly content with my hair. I don't care about anyone's opinion bout my hair. Now I'm just going with the flow 🤗
You're so pretty!
Feeling inspired after watching this video thanks Daphne, you just saved my afro
It is a lot of work to maintain natural hair. During my transition, three years ago, i also wanted to relax it so bad. But when i saw new growth and how healthy it looks, I realize i need to be patient. I don't like wearing wigs, so i breaded my own hair. people from work laughed at me, i didn't care because i knew what i wanted.
the motivation I needed before I relaxed my hair 😢
when i saw the tittle I SAID GIVE IT TO ME
im still trying to get to that length
xo
Daisy
Glad I found this video. I was thinking about texlaxing because of college, 2 jobs and taking care of a family at the end of the day was a lot. Thanks for talking me off the edge. ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for this video, I'm 18 months natural in the awkward stage and was tempted to relax it.
I'm glad this video was made because I'm so close to permimg or throwing a texturizer in my hair. I have very course 4c hair and I love it but I do twist outs of birds out and I have no shape. Maybe I need to get my hair cut into a shape and try color. I'm so over my hair and about to give up😤😤😤
try argan smooth silk. look up some of the review on youtube
+Ashley B yes hun have fun with it! You can get it straightened then shaped it will look so lively when it's in its natural state :) If it helps for colouring - I recommend textures and tones & then Olaplex to protect your hair from the colour 😘😘
I used to only finger detangle when doing my hair and one thing I've recently learned is that using a brush to detangle my head on wash day reeeally helps.. otherwise I'll have an excess of shed hair building up
Daphne, this is really for me. I don't like braids, wigs and even twisting makes it shrink. The only option I have is African treading so I was seriously considering texturizer. I have been natural now for two years.
I was in this same position. I coloured my hair multiple times this year, I was so bored even tempted to relax it. I wanted to transition but I always wanted to wear my hair short. Long story short, I got a tapered cut two months ago and its the best decision I ever made for my hair.
I can't keep braids more than 3 weeks, Natural is just soooo much time but its been 6 years also and half the time I love it !
Wow this is a great encouraging video-- I have been natural for 12 years (WLH) and I still have those days of what am I going to do with my hair. Twist outs never really worked for me so I just wear a bun or a braid down my back and when I want stretched curls I do a flexi-rod (air dry) for 2 days.
Hi my sister, really love your videos, is your book available in French language? thanks and god bless 😘
Did I miss a point? Lol the advices points in regards to loving ones natural hair is always to cover it up with wigs , weaves etc it's more covering then embracing and I hear that advice a lot from other naturals and I yawn for advice on how we can love it in its natural state doing this ,that or the other and not hiding behind weaves,wigs and single plaits :(
Nikitta Buntin The purpose of using weaves or wigs is to give you time to ponder what you want to do with your hair. If someone is so frustrated that they're close to relaxing or cutting it, allowing their hair to be out of sight for a short while will give that person time to research good ways to combat their hair woes, change their mind, and start doing their hair again with a renewed mentality.
Amanda Holmes I had to do that and it worked for me
Amanda Holmes yes girl. I put on a wig every time I get frustrated but I still taking care of my 4c underneath, and when my hair and I become friends again then I wear it out and I receive so many compliments at how pretty it is.
Great tips!! I think we all have days when we are just over our hair!!
I understand the struggle! My hair is very, very thick and curly and frizzes like crazy. If I comb it, it just gets completely tangled 5 minuets later if I move. I have to put it up in a bun most of the time because I’m a busy mom but that doesn’t work most of the time because the ends of my hair looks like spikes coming out of the bun! Co wash only helps a ton With frizz! Try it!!! ❤️
Try an amino treatment!!! No relaxer but gives you good versatility!! You can straighten it with ease, cuts down blow drying time, rebuilds and bonus you can wash it and it will return to its natural kinky texture
try argan smooth silly press. it is supposed to keep your hair straight until your next wash. this could help you maintain a better keep up for your hair. easier to manage and you won't have to worry about detangling until your next wash.
+Markita Lion hmm I don't 100% trust keratin treatments and my hair does well and lasts with just a normal blow dry & flat iron. Thank you for the suggestion though! Is that what you use often on your hair? Xx
I'm pretty fed up right now. I'm fed up of the dryness, tangles, brittleness and breakage. I am so careful with my hair, and have achieved some length, but I can't show it because my hair doesn't retain a style, but always is trashy and unruly. Tired of the shrinkage. Braidouts, twistouts, curls, don't last more than a day or two. The only reason I haven't relaxed yet is that I really don't like straight hair on me. I want nothing more than long nappy hair. I think think a long, healthy head of natural hair is the most beautiful type of hair out there.
My natural hair just never thrives. I had healthier hair when it was relaxed or when I used to use a texture softener.
Got fed up with my natual hair after 6 years. Never got to the place where I LOVED my natural hair. It was hard work from day 1. I cut it off 2 months ago. I'm still getting used to my new look :-) But no regrets. It was just too much work. Hair is just not my hobby and from a certain length and I feel that you need to love playing with your hair to have natural hair. That wasn't me. So that's that. The journey was interesting. A real roller coaster. But I've moved on. still natural, but with only 1 cm long :-)
you're so on point😭😍
+Rachel Hemlee thanks for stopping by hun ❤️😘
I see all these girls going natural and having really lovely hair. I've been natural my entire life and I have a scalp disorder and my hair falls out and is thin. I wish I could even wear it down yours. I can only really wear braids. :( and I've only colored my hair once.
Hi Dephne, I am 2 years natural if you're interested I recently posted my update video on my channel. Most of the time I love my hair but when I don't as you said I braid it or put it in twists for 5 weeks to forget about it. And after 4 weeks I usually miss my hair already :-) But I can't wait to reach 5 years!!!!
I love you Deph, thank for your message, I feel like that sometimes! God bless you!
Totally understand, I have a more I'm disappointed with my hair attitude. I have fine low density hair so it always look thin. Also my hair fell out a view months ago and I have short hairs all over the place which is hard. I really hope I can hold on to the little strands I have... Thanks for the video
I do believe you can love your natural hair and still hate having to do it, so in my opinion its like saying just because I hate cooking means I don't like food. lol I get what you meant but it doesn't go hand in hand in my opinion.
You know I've heard repeatedly heard about this wig damaging your edges and I've been wondering how cuz it actually helped me grow mine- not having it in tight braids or anything. But watching all these wig videos I realise I never use the combs or glue and have never been concerned with "slaying my edges" since the point of the wig for me is to SAVE said edges 😂. So yeah if I did all that I can clearly see how the edges would just fall off into the abyss
Thanks for sharing. I started following you because you have 4b/4c hair I been natural for almost 4 years and my hair seems like it wont grow. I was about to relax my hair then i watched this video i may just hang in there. Thank you for sharing!
awesome! you are most welcome xx
Very helpful tips. Thank you :)
I am about to be 4 years natural this coming November. Wow. time goes by so fast. I thought I went natural like 3 years ago. Nope..I was off. I am learning more and more about my hair each year. I am 4c, low porosity, my hair likes braids, deep conditioning w/heat. I think now it doesn't want to be kept in braids so long cause my ends seem to suffer. So I can't keep a protective style so long as I used to. I used to be so annoyed with my hair. But I don't like relaxers. I like my curls.
Girls and their curls! hey! we were all in the chat during Heather's live stream the other day. & lookie I see you on here in the comments lol. did you the the email chanda sent to us? we started a groupme it's about 3 other pinky promise girls in there at the moment. if you want to be added check your email, if you didn't get the invite let us know and we will try adding you again.
Also, can you please make an updated wash routine?
I gave up on my natural hair even before relaxing it back. I don't know how long i'm gonna deal with this "phase" but I just want to be able to manage my hair without breaking the bank.
Thank you for the inspiration!
I'm going through it! It's been three or maybe four years natural and I'm so frustrated! I feel like my length retention is struggling. I have 4c hair and I have to twist every night for it to look like something. I used to wear sew-in weaves but that was years ago and quite honestly I don't think I could stand one now. My hair and scalp needs to breathe. Wigs I do wear from time to time but your right, they can mess with your edges. Ugh!!! Decisions, Decisions! Thanks for this video though. It's good to know I'm not the only one.
Janine Mitchell $10 wig grip for them edges girl.
I get like this often.. that's when I go to braid/twist extensions!!
Im only 2 months in and I needed this vid
I don't know if I'm fed up with my natural hair or if I'm just bored with it 😩 I don't know what to do
i like tezturizing my hair cuz i can still rock afros n high puffs. i stretch for long periods of time but still get sick of my hair even whilst texturized cuz my hair is uber thick. good advice though but i cant completely commit to being 100% natural atm.. GOD BLESS
Thanks Dephne, i sooo needed this because i have just about had enough of my natural hair. i have very coarse 4c hair and been natural for 2 years. i dread wash days cos i feel like it takes the whole day but then again i can be a bit impatient especially when i things to do. i really don't want to cut or relax it but so for now i wear wigs....i guess i'm just gonna have to put up with.....
any tips for someone who is stuck with their own hair (can't get weaves, get braids, ect...) and doesn't want to straighten their hair
just past 5 years natural. I still want to rip my hair off now and then but I love it. I'm almost at my goal now
Lol l was thinking of relaxing my hair you posted this video on time
I thank God for this video
+building greatness wow I'm so glad!! Saved by the bell 😂😆😩🙏
I'm already doing most of your suggestions...I definitely will be looking into blow outs more often!
I am having serious issues with tangling & knots with every wash...So NOT loving my hair at all right now...has been an issue for months...none of my staple products are working...& have to start ALL over testing products & I've already been natural for over 3yrs! I need products with a lot of slip...& having a hard time.
preach
I'm natural, going on 3 years. However, I have got to be the laziest natural I know. I have 4b/4c hair but I don't have the discipline to do hair masks and deep moisturizers all the time...mainly because I don't have time for it. My hair is growing, but I am sure I could have had more length retention if I spent more time with my hair. I don't want to go back to perms, but do you (or anyone) have any advice for the simplest way to maintain my hair and help it to stay moisturized? I have already begun to rely on keeping my hair in twists...
I'm right here right now. I'm tired of my hair and I'm tired of the work and the expense. I'm tired of the curl girl method and the shedding. I'm just tired.
Torie Townsend Maybe you can try protective styles until you get to loving your hair. I had to change my mind set about my hair and then it started growing like crazy
lol I was in this position a week ago and I had a hair cut, and trust me I feel brand new
I thought this today but because my ends are breaking like butter. Like I put them in rollers, they break, I touch, they break, I moisturize, they break-I don't know what to do with these ends. ^_-
Thank you for this!! 😃
I was natural for a year up until a week ago. natural is cool but I don't have the time or skill to keep it up right now. I usually grow my natural hair out then relax it....then repeat again, lol! I like my hair regardless...I am not my hair!
thanks mum for the teaching. I have a question, is it good to use dyes n chemicals in our hair regularly.
My hair is breaking, and its just not cooperating with me. I want to cut it off and just leave it. It will grow and just break right off and i dont know what to do
thank you that was nice, encouraging.
Thank you so much for this video... i know i needed this ☺☺❤❤
what do u do about fairy knots and how can u prevent from getting them? i have so many knots and its just so frizzy at the ends of my hair. do i cut the ends out?
Wow 30/45 minutes to detangle😄 I wish !!! Maybe when my hair was a TWA , but regardless I ❤❤❤❤ my natural hair , it was best decision I could make for my hair😍😍
Can you please make an updated detangling video?
I've been natural for 10+ years and you are still talking to meeeee lol!!!
thanks for the encouragement. we literally have the same hair type & i just posted today that as my hair gets longer its starting to tangle & break! im about to break..😭😭😭 i was it 1-2x per week since i workout daily. i stopped doing wash n go's & started twisting it but even then it tangles. any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks!
Thank you for this vid, very helpful!
i have 3c 4a hair i noticed alot of people in the coment section is 4b 4c which i get their struggles cause i gotta do my bfs hair for work and yea 😑 cant do both our heads man....im tired...
You are gorgeous!
Wanted to cut my hair until watching this video. thank you!
i was so close to relaxing my hair last week. i swear on the daay I had to get cornrows to avoid doing it. now idk what to do