EVERY 40k Faction Builds A Race Car
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- POORHAMMER MERCH! orchideight.com/collections/p...
On this week’s episode, Gork and Mork conjure up the wackiest race 40k’s universe will ever see! Every faction is compelled to present a driver for our entertainment. These contestants will participate in a brutal race against each other, to determine who is the fastest, strongest, smartest faction of all!
00:00 - Intro
02:02 - The Ork Contestants
05:40 - The Chaos Contestants
12:09 - The Other Xenos Contestants
17:24 - The Imperium Contestants
23:32 - Cringe Ends Here
Show Links:
Website: poorhammer.libsyn.com/
Patreon: / solelysingleton
Brad’s Twitter: / drruler
Eric’s Twitter: / onekuosora
Licensed Music Used By This Program:
“Night Out” by LiQWYD, CC BY
“Thursday & Snow (Reprise)” by Blank & Kytt, CC BY
“First Class” by Peyruis, CC BY
“Funky Souls” by Amaria, CC BY
------------------------------
Funky Souls by Amarià / amariamusique
Creative Commons - Attribution 3.0 Unported - CC BY 3.0
Free Download / Stream: bit.ly/Funky-Souls
Music promoted by Audio Library - • Funky Souls - Amarià (...
------------------------------ - Ігри
Ok, here are my bets:
The most kills go to the Cadian Hellhound. This is due to the Hellhound exploding at the start of the race, clearing half of the contestants. Whoever destroyed the Hellhound is up for debate, but the Imperium takes credit and the Orks are simply excited by the spectacle.
In last place is the Fateskimmer. Leading for the majority of the race, the scribe nearly wins before misreading a spell, teleporting him back to the start.
In 1st place is the Custodian. No, not the Custodian on a Jet Bike, just the Custodian. His bike was destroyed at the beginning of the race and he simply ran to the finish line. I don’t remember his armor being damaged, yet he finished wearing nothing but a battle thong. Odd…
I take it that there was a significant oil trail behind the custodian while the crowd chanted "AYAYAYAY"
I have a feeling we're going to specifically see the exalted sorcerer blow himself up with his own warpfire, and just so happens his second for who his bets if he dies is the farseer
Also the lamenters do fly off a cliff but don't crash into their chapter's stands but rather on more orks who just ran off the poor lamenters.
The sensation of friction is all but lost on him now
Now all the patrons need is a video of you two moving the models with your hands making "whoosh" "vroom" "bang" "boom" noises to similulate the race.
^
^
^
Stop motion race
I'd be down to watch if they built a course and actually tried to race, though I dunno 40k rules. I assume aside from being a total disaster to manage it might turn out lame since I think movement is just a set # of inches and doesn't involve dice, but there would still be the possibility to kill the ones in the lead to compete. Would prolly need some custom rules to be properly dramatic, and I'm sure it would be a pain in the arse to attempt it... But I do appreciate a good fustercluck.
16:00 The Tau showing up in such a speed oriented vehicle not especting a classical fight because it's supposed to be a race is the most "naive Tau" thing there is and I love it.
Nah they were just the unit sent out as a distraction, in the name of the Greater Good, while the more valuable Mech and Hovertanks paint themselves purple so they can escape.
I think I'm more upset that they didn't include the devilfish. If there can be a rhino, there can be a devilfish.
On the other hand, if there's a second race?
Tau would be bringing a Hammerhead.
@@LurchTheBastard or an Y'vahra or coldstar
Gotta bet on the Custodes for the unbridled arrogance of not even sending a captain, but just sending Steve and his project bike
They sent the custodian equivalent of a turbo Busa
Now I want to see a classic Hannah Barbera styled Warhammer 40k wacky races.
We need something like that. It would be awesome
Gonna need to see your Warhammer+ Subscription.
Who would be Dick Dastardly and mutley.
@@ericrice4308 I think shenanigan wise having the Harlequins or Drukhari constantly stopping and setting up traps. They could also have a Gyrinx as Muttley.
@@ericrice4308 Dick Dastardly is definitely a member of The Inquisition. Maybe with a Mutley servo-skull?
The sydonian dragoon wins just because it moves non-stop despite the skitarii getting eaten by the moloch at the start.
Both knights don't even make it past the starting line because they're too busy dueling each other.
The custodian is there as a black shield, and protects the Hellhound throughout the entire race.
The race is delayed 5 minutes because the 40 harlequins are still getting into their car.
It's so sad those Harlequins died in that Shockjump Dragsta teleportation accident.
*pulls out a tissue, pulls out a tissue, pulls out a tissue, pulls out a...*
"brother cousin chaplain cleatus" had me absolutely dead at work today. Thank you both for being a spot of humor in a pretty cruddy week
Indeed! Made me almost spill my coffee lol
So, some important notes on this. I am planning on animating this:
- the speed freekz boss will be important
- the khorne team will be a main threat
- the tyranid will definitly be important
- the custodian (steve) will arrive in nothing but his underwear
- the hellhound will DEFINITLY explode
- the harleyquinn will do the most ridicoulus things (dont know what)
- the knight mechs will start fighting each other
- the necrons will end up chained to the dracoon, wich walks off and is never heard of again
- the snail from team nurgle will just slowly keep going throughout the whole race
- the fateskimmer accidentily teleports himself back to the start of the race and looses
My bet goes to the surprise candidate. You know him you love him. He rides a sled and has a white beard. Some call him space santa. Logan grimmnar!😂😂🐺
Oh hell yes WAAAAGHrio kart!
Also I think the cold star would be a faster fit. With this, my bet is on the farseer and the sorcerer taking each other out in comedic fashion in ways contrary to their predictions.
Is rainbow road the Webway?
@@tuskedclover3308 absolutely
@@maximhyland5843 A Coldstar w/ team would actually be the fastest here. Armed with all Fusion Blasters or Plasma Guns they would be almost untouchable.
Almost. Looking at the Shockjump Dragsta with the teleport and sniper cannon that could very feasibly one-tap the Coldstar with a 3+ to hit.
I like this episode. do this with the named heroes of each faction. something like "each faction submits a character for a fighting game"
I would absolutely love this
Custodes still just send some random Custodes...
I'm very keen to see this happen
I actually want to see this race happen and have a sequel. All said 50 teeth on the Knight Rampager getting into a grudge match with the Imperial Knight and 200 teeth on the Piranha making it to the top 5 in terms of position.
Das right!
IT is fast but not duble so IT may run away at start but 1 to 3 shots its dead
100 teef on the lancer killing the rampager on the first charge.
In an unexpected turn of events, it seems that a more militant faction of the GSC has sent a Goliath Rockgrinder with 3 Reductus Saboteurs inside to "make an example" of anyone who crosses their picket line.
As they should. No mercy for Scabs.
@Bluecho4 the picket line is for alien invasion.
I was fully expecting the grey knights to have a lone interceptor sprinting at full speed around the track with it's 24 inches of movement
That's a fighter jet
My Ork side bets:
1:1 Shokkjump Dragsta opens a shokk tunnel that a few racers follow and they end up in the warp
3:1 At least 3 kars explode off the start line because Deathskullz pit crews whipped out wrenches and started looting their kars
5:1 Megatrakk Scrapjet loses it's wheels and treads and it's just the ork and grot gunner riding a rocket
7:1 The checkered flag at the last lap has all the Goffs leaping on to track because they think it's a rallying cry
10:1 Ork power of belief summons a rocket propelled Stompa mid race that just busts in like the Kool Aid man, or the dreadnought from Death Race 1
HAHAHHA the bit about the Goffs charging the field is awesome!
Lol @the ork riding the scrapjet like the coyote riding an acme rocket
I absolutely love the 'Wacky Race' as a concept
Gorka-Morka would be an amazing book series
My personal bet is the hellhound. The meks try to blow it up to start the race, miss, hit the Lamenters, and cause a chain reaction leaving the promethium pyre untouched and ever other contestant and spectator dead.
We all know the louder the weapon the better.
Sisters brought a giant church organ. That is not only a weapon, that is a statement.
While I don't think the custodian will win, I just can't pin down what in this match up will be able to catch and deal with it. It's really REALLY fast. The lance will also help it run down any opponent, the only fault is that it doesn't have nearly enough dakka.
It's fast... but is it faster than all the guns that will be pointed in the direction of whoever gets into the lead?
The Eldar factions all have him on lock.
*tau laugh as they fly up high enough that they can't stab them
Tau are faster and have turrets so they could outrun him and shoot Wit drones in to the air inteak or hi face
Yeah but if he gets even close to them they fold
I've wanted 40Kart for so long. The Orky race game is great, but there's easily enough material in the lore already for everyone to have their own race vehicles.
dude me too. i would kill for a kart racing game in the 40k universe
That's a brilliant name
Tbh here is currently a 40k Ork battle racer in development currently. It got announced with an alpha a few months ago and most people who played it loved it.
@@Tortle-Man i played that and loved it too, but it's not the same. i was hoping for a racing game like crash ctr or something of the sort.
And therefore, orkz to have more race vehicles.
Note from the end of the video: Never apologize for your humor! I think you guys are hilarious and you shouldn’t feel like you have to apologize for it. Let the people “cringe” if they want to (they’re going to anyway) and own your jokes!
Besides, I LOVED the humor!
Tyranid race car is a thing of nightmares
As a Tyranid player I get why they don't really have an entry in this, but I'm still bummed to not really have anyone repping us in the race. Include a Harridan or a Dimachaeron or something, or 6 Ravenors in a trench coat 😂
You forgot the Imperial Navy’s competitor: a single Retribution-class Battleship. Many contestants are concerned about the fact that the ship is longer than the actual race track, others are concerned about its continent-shattering broadside. Only time will tell how the captain of the ship will fare in the race to come.
Brother- Cousin- Chaplain Cletus! OMG I'm dying of laughter.
This is such a fun concept! I would play the hell out of a Warhammer racing game
Every faction has their own racing vehicle and special power: you can have Astartes on hoverbikes, Orks on car-shaped things powered by their imagination, Catchan soldiers riding on a giant abomination of nature and Harlequins on what can only be described as a clown car-starship. Also Doomrider on his drug-powered motorbike
Gorkamorka might be up your alley then.
It could be to the 40k setting what Blood Bowl is for the fantasy setting.
Speed Freeks was somewhat close to that. I didn't care for the pre-release version (the production values were very poor), but the game design was fairly fun.
You could always scour eBay for a copy of Dark Future. I think I still have some of the minis somewhere.
Why the necrons didn't bring their super speedy, practically silent, hard to hit when moving Tomb Blades is the real question
Same reason the Eldar didnt bring a Fire Prism probably.
I was hoping for a monolith, myself!
They did bring it, it’s just still hidden
@@andrewlewis2123 Teleportation doesn't count.
Now I NEED someone to animate this in a wacky race style
THAT would be perfect
I was already thinking that by the time I finished the video.
Great minds!
My bet is for the two knights to get into a grudge match, but then they trip over the Necron Overlord's barge while he's trying to monologue and all three go over a conveniently placed cliff.
Honestly the barge does fly, so I wouldn't be surprised if it were to just rise back up and the lord to say "anyways where was I.... YES! It was several million years ago..."
would love a specialty racing 40k game in the style of bloodbowl
Good news! Speed freaks the game is coming to a store near you real soon!
@@stephottey9535 think they meant tabletop I.E big racetrack board with using vehicle models from 40k proper. To make this a little more 'fair' things with the deep strike keyword would be axed and titanic for that matter. Only single model vehicle units would probably be allowed. could definitely see this being a fun homebrew game
Having the mawloc there is like having them race on arrakis with active worm sign i love it
Wildesr of wide bets, 100 teef on the hellhound surviving, not winning, not getting the most kills, just straight up surviving
I think the Piranha is a sleeper pick. It has the menacing ability to slow down other contestants as they charge forward
I did not expect uma musume showing up in a warhammer podcast
You clearly don't know the level of degen weebs you're dealing with here.
That honestly sent me
As a gamedesigner I suddenly am really hooked on writing rules for a 40k racing game :D
Making a rule that shows how the BT vehicle is build different.
A Tervigon with adrenal glands is a type of racecar. It's more of a converted bus, but an ork race is mostly a demolition derby anyway
To be fair I'm surprised there hasn't been any Warhammer games specifically themed about vehicles, where you can drive a lot
For the Skull Cannon if you build it with the cannon facing the back you can use it as a booster.
I absolutely loved this. You might think it’s cringey but I genuinely had a smile on my face the entire time and laughed quite a bit through the entire video. Please do more of this!
I'm picking the Rampager if it can use CK strats. Just gonna be running through all terrain in its path in search of victims.
If it wasn't for supply issues the war dog karnivote would have been great. That thing clocks a top speed of 14 inches.
The death guard entry should be a rhino with two Plaguecasters in it. It may not be the fastest, but it can slow down the other racers around it.
I guess I could go an easy route and bet that The Command at least survives (it spent the first 56 minutes of the race reciting the lords full titles and honors)
This is genuinely one of the most fun episodes yet. I've been giggling like an idiot the whole damn time.
I don’t think there actually registered as competitors in the race because they are all expected to imminently die before it even starts, but I wanted to shout of the Atillan Rough Riders for showing up on horseback, and the Steeds of Slaanesh for showing up as horses
200 thrones on the chaos knight getting the most kills, he is going to stop at least 5 competitors if there ever comes a narrow corridor
Ok now what the hell is this one
One of the most orktober things ever.
Amazing, that's what this is
Perfection
You know, if this were to happen, say, a year ago, and the vertus guy came from the cool and hip Solar Watch instead of those squares at Emperor’s Chosen, all my money would be on him, no doubt about it. Have fun indulging Orks and shooting at each other at the starting line, while my guy is bolting away at constant pace of 21 Emperor-blessed inches per turn, all while being impervious to most of your damage and looking good doing it 😎
As things stand now, however, my money’s on the snail guy - everyone in this queue seems to think very highly of him!
I am placing all my teef on that shockjump dragsta for finishing the race. 😂
My teefs on genestealers, decent killing, won't get attacked by tyranid contestants, may not get attacked from human contestants. They don't physically look like much of a threat so as long as the more radical factions like orks and chaos fight each other it could make a good lead in the last third
Good video really like your guys stuff!
They’ve either ran out of ideas or are just getting started
I hope for the latter
Lmfao that Uma Musmume at the begining. 11:02 the editor is doing gods work. 24:05 All the pleasantries it was a fun episode I liked the injokes. Especially the Black templar hillbilly one
I mean first things first I’ve got good money on the venom and the starweaver, they seem like properly fast gits, but I’m worried about them hanging back to blast the slaanesh chariot into oblivion. Also, mad props to the lamented for coming out today.
I also think this could absolutely be the start of a hysterically dumb competition of which faction can move the fastest by comboing strats, abilities, charges, etc.
Mad respect for the wacky races call back. So want to see you two anouce an acutal race.
You make it sound like there weren't multiple fireball deaths in the pod race scene. Anakin only survived because plot armor.
The Taurox Prime is also a good choice for Militarum, lots of guns and fast
I can see the necrons not even making it across the starting line as the overlord is too busy with his pre-race victory speech which takes a full week to finish.
19:08 is even funnier after the quiz show episode, because you can tell that Eric _thinks_ that the joke is "the Tzeentch bet placer can see the future and thus knows what to bet on for the most payout" when the joke is actually "the Lamenters are the unluckiest chapter and cannot get out of even a fun little wacky contest without losing half of their chapter as casualties".
This was a very fun and adorable episode. I'd love to see this race play out. My Teef are definitely on the Harlequins or Drukari - you never know what those sneaky elves are going to get themselves up to!
20 bolt shells that the lamentors get cross the finish line last, after getting lost through a forgotten mining shaft and having to outrace the collapsing tunnels. And lead an evacuation of human civillians.
30 cogs that the Dragoon runs the opposite way cause the Cogboy notice a glint in the sand that might have a piece of archeaotech.
The Uma Musume clip had me howling. Good work, Berilio.
My bet is on the Mawloc, he's a good boy trying his best. Great episode as well.
love this one so far, i bet the orkz and tau will have the best ones, maybe eldar too
This was a wonderful little change of pace. I wouldn't mind silly fun time episodes becoming a more frequent thing, especially with how often y'all go full "spreadsheets are my passion". Good to have stuff like this be a known quantity, if only for "in case brain fried, break glass" reasons.
Sad to see no Scout Sentinels, but I will certainly bet against the Slaanesh Chariot - It'd spend too much time trying to kill the other contestants rather than attempting to win. Great Cast today!
This episode was so much fun, couldn´t stop laughing xD
Just before the race began, a horn rang out, as a church walked up to the starting line.
Wait no, thats an imperator titan
Hey now! That Impulsor has a sword strapped to it! That obviously makes it different. I'll be betting on the Rampager for kills, and the clowns to finish first, but I will be cheering for the Exorcist.
I love the idea of a Thousand Son and a Grey Knight getting chucked into this mess and deciding that their best chance of survival was to just replace the commentators. Probably while maintaining a psychic battle between each other during the entire thing.
This was soooo much fun! Best take on 40k factions ever. And I totally applaud your sportmanship like commentary, you totally nailed it and sold me on several of them.
My money is on Nurgle snail for winning the race. While everyone else is speeding along and killing each other, the Slimux will slime it's way through the race killing all the slaggers and being the last man standing, win the race.
And Mawloc to get the most kills, the start will be absolute chaos and at least half of the contestants won't even get over the starting line before being eaten alive, crunchy vehicle parts and everything.
Loved this episode so much! I would love if you made more of this kind of thing!
This was amazing. I loved the sports caster analysis of the entries. A very funny and entertaining episode. I'm just betting on dakka
Plot Twist:Farsight appears out of a red Manta and saves the Piranha Pilots chopping the Drukhari Witchy Bitches into Emo Knife Ear Chop Suey,also the orks begin to cheer him up screaming DA RED KOMET,because Farsight's XV86 is painted red and is going fast as fuck at the moment,also Aun'Shi and the rest of the Ethereals give the thumbs up to Farsight being there as their second entrance to the competition!
"Brother cousin Chaplain Cletus" 😂😂😂
I was NOT ready to hear that😂
This is some of your greatest work
My money is on the Vertus Praetor to look the shiniest!
6:06 There must be a Never-ending Story joke to make about racing snails I just can't think of one.
"Hey, good work over there, Sagitaur!" "YOU'VE JUST MADE AN ENEMY FOR LIFE!" *crash*
ALL MY TEFF ARE ON DA SHOKKJUMP DRAGSTA IT’ll BE ZOOMIN ACROSS THE FEILD AND JUMPIN!!!
Love the thumbnail!! I immediately wanted to watch this episode!
I'm betting necrons simply because they're so slow that everyone will forget they were a part of the race. Then they will all kill themselves, allowing the necrons to win by default.
Just as intended for the immortal empire!
Great episode idea, and hilarious execution... I'd love to see more episodes like this in the future!
this episode gives off big vibes and reminds me of the geartalk radio channel on the old Xbox game Roadkill.
Damn the waaagh energy c😊onnection told me to check during my drive to work and here we are.
my bet is on the nurgle snail! everybody else will be boosting off into the distance and kill each other, while the snail is steady progressing and crawling unmolested over the finish line ^^
You're never going to believe this, but Gorkmorka takes place on the planet of... Gorkamorka. Inspired, really.
damn I only found you guys this week and currently watching all the back log of your guys stuff and this comes out as I'm painting... today's good... life's good... models not good... its fine
oooh what army you painting up
@@Pallyk426 all my backlog of tzeentch 😂
@@ihaiaoconnor1209 That's not a backlog, it's Just As Planned.
Can you tell me what is the game your showing in the background?
The Ork one? Speed Freeks, it's not out yet. Bricky did a video on the beta I think.
The ork one
@@thepoorhammerpodcast thanks the game looks really good
NGL, over the past week I’ve watched mabye, 20 poor hammer videos? Y’all’s humor has single handedly convinced me to buy my first couple minis, some hobby tools, and try to get more into the full game. I’ve watched lore on 40k for a year or 2, but I had no idea how much more depth 40k has to offer. This is all pretty much just to say, thank you both, for making this hobby even cooler!
Absolutely loved this episode, and now I *really* want to see a play-by-play of how the race goes!
I have such good memories of watching Whacky Races on snow days at 8am lol. Cars go fast cool, dakka and 40k cool.
This was hilarious from start to finish(line), well done! For some odd reason I also can't get that song with "racecars, lasers, aeroplanes - it's... a... ork blur!" out of my head. Damn you!
This has been a real treat. Thank you.
Fun video, and your commentary was great!
I'm new to the warhammer world, but I love this episode very much, wacky and hilarious, makes my painting-training effort so much fun! Thank you!
Throughout this episode I've had an old Royal Canadian Air Farce skit running through my head, which was mocking the then-new Speed TV. (This is old enough that I owned it on VHS.)
Anyway, the line is "it's not a sport, it's a bunch of stupid reindeer, but they went fast! Zoom! Zoom!!!"
:D
I've watched/listened to many hours of your podcast and this was, by far, my favorite episode. I loved it so much and your willingness to commit to the bit was incredible. You should be proud of your performances and please feel free to do more silly episodes like this :)
honestly surprised the Vyper Jetbike didn't make the list for the Eldar submission. Also, I'd definitely see space marines simply parking their ship in geostationary orbit over the start line, and then launching a drop pod at the finish line once the checkered flag is dropped. What better way to just ignore the entire race course than by firing an orbital rocket filled with 100m sprinters
That or they drop the pods 9 inches from the starting line following standard insertion rules, but the pods loaded with Assault Intercessors with jetpacks so.
I honestly think this might be one of my fav videos so far! You're a great team (and Berellio too) and are funnier then you think.
This was amazing! I'd like to see more videos like this in the future.
I Place 20 teeth on the shock-jump-dragsta to overload and teleport to the finish line. All in the name of speed. If the ork survives is up to Gork and Mork. Maybe it explodes and there is a big fight if it counts as finishing the race. Or maybe it’s late and it’s a celebratory explosion in the sky💥
Bonus competitor:
A human and a tech-priest appear in a pre-Dark Age automobile. It sounds (and somewhat looks) like an Ork racecar, with a deafening growl, extremely aggressive styling and armor, and a bright orange paintjob. The human calls himself Lucas, and the tech-priest refers to himself as Beauregard. They spend the race sliding sideways around corners, jumping over ramp-shaped rocks, lobbing liquor-based explosives at opponents, and (in Lucas's case) screaming a battle cry as their blaze orange machine flies down the track