Join me for a chat about Meaningful Connections tonight at 8:30pm CET. Don’t forget to get your favorite beverage with you! ☕️🧋 ua-cam.com/users/live6f4vdcEdHWQ?si=DssuRKg_1Xwp80Gd
Guys let’s make friends, let’s don’t reinforce loneliness or abandonment issues. If you’ve been abandoned before or have not experienced healthy love - make friends, we are relational beings and part of our healing lies in other people. Let’s not give up.
I am 42 and had both parents while growing up. I had a pretty stable childhood. I do not have very close friends because women can be very competitive. If you are doing just a little bit better than them they will start to treat you indifferent. I had an old friend tell me that all you need in life are at least 2 good friends and your spouse. To be honest I am not really close to my family because they tend to throw shade. Be blessed.
I completely get you. I have one good friend though but it baffles me that she’s never invited me to her home, like NEVER! For me, that circle of friendship isn’t closed. Anyway, I still like hanging out with her when we manage to meet up. All the best to you darling!🫶🏾
It's hard being a woman. When you are beautiful people will isolate you, when you are ugly people would also isolate you. Women are toxic, they can't see other women doing better/ less than them. They want everything goes their way or else they don't want to be your friend.
People think that the stereotypical family with 2 parents who paid the bills and stuff means you have "nothing to complain about". That has always thrown me off 😅
Get a social life, join a club, become a Volunteer. I feel you, I also struggle with friendships, I don't trust people. I don't believe what people say because I watch actions and actions speaker louder.
I’m actually quite trusting by nature and that’s probably why I get burnt. My intention is to volunteer and just enjoy that company while i’m there. I’m usually fine alone too. Thanks!🙏🏾
Giiirrrrl I turned 40 this year and I feel like I’m in the exact same position!! What I have done is reconnected to hobbies or interest that I gave up. I’ve found my community in those spaces. I feel a whole lot better now.❤️
I'm 41 also, I'm a sahm of 7 and a wife which keeps me super busy, I don't have a issue with making friends, but I never have had a best friend who is completely there for me no matter what, like a sister to me, but the funny thing is I would be that for someone else. One day I pray I can have a deep connection with an amazing lady where we have each other's back and that companionship. I pray the same for you @inspiredbyisabella
I'm wondering if this is a 40 thing or if this is the effect of the states of life and not being fullfed. i am going to explore this on my channel in a few weeks. thanks for the inspiration.
I think it’s more widespread nowadays regardless of age. Perhaps social evolution has made us less dependent and as such, less connected. I’d like to know your thoughts in your video 😊
I am 46, people are busy, some are depressed, now I just enjoy when I do get to meet them. Find other communities, gym, art, music. Follow your interests and you will have friends from different communities. Hugs 🫂
Im 40 similar predicament, Im friendless by choice. My kind heart and character wont allow me to be in the presence of any and everyone so with that said, Im fine with my own company nor do i feel lonely
I completely get you. And I felt the same way until recently when my dad started showing signs of dementia brought on by isolation and loneliness. What I believe I’d like now is just a group activity or club where I can interact with others and keep my mind refreshed as I get older.
I’m so glad that I’m not alone who feels like that. I have friends, but I’m ok not having any. People take too much space in my life. They are exhausting. I enjoy my own company.
I am an introvert and i don't have that many friends. My bestfriend and i met when we were 12 and 13yrs old. We are in our early 30s now. We are basically twin flames. I did make more friends in high school but those friendships were only meant to last that long, so we drifted apart once high school was done. I didn't make friends at uni because i honestly had no time ( i was working fulltime and also studying). So i couldn't hang out with people at uni. I've made 2 new friends in adulthood through work and they are introverts like me. Sometimes, we just connect with the wrong people. Some people are only meant to be aquintances not friends. My advice, join little groups (book clubs, sports clubs, photography clubs, travel groups etc). You are bound to connect with one or more people. You don't need too many, just one or two really amazing friends will be a blessing.
I’m 35, I’ll be 36 in a week & I can completely relate to your story. I had a best friend (my only friend really) from high school who randomly stopped talking during Covid. Now almost 5 years later I’d love to have community but I’m also one who protects my energy and that makes it difficult to really find meaningful friendships.
Wow. Same age and same situation (HS Friend and all) With the way things are and the way people have been cutting up at worse lately I have trust issues. Some people frown upon not having friends or think its the end of the world. I stopped caring. Honestly I do still have 1 friend which is myself… 😂 Something to consider…I joined a bookclub to have some sort of social community. We meet 1x per month via video call. Give it a try if youre into books or you can try MeetUp where you join a social group and link up.😊
That’s the part that hurt the most, why the sudden silence, right?! Well, you aren’t alone. As Andrea said, joining an activity group will give you control over how and when you spend your energy without any necessary strings attached. For example, I always have a good chat with a gym instructor at the gym and it ends there. It’s nice that we don’t have any further expectations from each other 😊
Thanks for your comment Andrea. It’s nice to know you’re fine with being your own friend. However, community is still important especially as we grow older. Big hugs! And hope you enjoy your book club.
I can relate. I am 39, married with kids , very lonely, no friends I find it hard to trust, because my heart has been broken severally by female friends
@@InspiredbyIsabella Thanks Isabella I appreciate it!🤗 My comment didn’t mean that I’m fine with being my only friend. It meant Ive just grown to accept it and not allow others opinions rush me into making friends just for the sake of making friends. I’m taking my time to connect and develop real friends, In doing so keeping quality over quantity in the back of my mind. I hope everyone here develops true friendships and release any trust issues and fears they have. I know its a big challenge these days.💖
I am in the same boat. 😂 In my case, I found that I was the only one keeping the friendship going. If I stop contacting I noticed that they don't either even for 6-12 months! This led me to eventually stop trying.
I am also 41 & I don’t have any friends. I have tried to make friends at work but I feel like I’m always misunderstood. I still hope to find “my person” one day.
Work mates are not ideal as friends, I learned that over the years. I truly pray you’ll find someone one of these days. Stop searching and let it find you. Cheers!
If you do choose to have some friends it's very important to choose your friends wisely and also choose friends that you can trust and be careful who you trust and tell your problems to not everyone who smiles at you is your friend
Work colleagues are the worst of friendships. Take up an interest you enjoy doing and be friendly with everyone. Just be you and the right person will come into your life! God bless, 🙏! 🤍🤍🤍 Edit: Very true @kimberleyJackson...., 🙏!
Im 41 as well. Exactly like you Nigerian but im Single, no kids so your situation better than mine. Just enjoy the years you have with your husband and kids ,dont think too much about the future. You're never too old to make new friends ❤
God bless you. I am 41, same thing. I do technically have friends, but one moved thousands of miles away, the other is just never there and basically uses me as a placeholder for when nobody else is available. You know it's wild, I've spent more time alone these past 3 years than my whole life and sometimes I forget words for things, I literally FEAR dementia. We all need to talk more. We on the internet need to be a global community!
So sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I think you’re right to fear dementia but don’t let it take over your reasoning. Focus more on the present and welcome connections no matter how trivial. Doing some community work might help keep the lines open too. Wish you all the best dear! You’ve got this!
Me 2 & Good for you Means that you how power within & you are a survivor. I live amongst nature. Unfortunately surrounded by people as well, occasionally it is good to have neighbours but WHOM keep themselves TO themselves. MOST OF MY LIKE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FRIENDLY WITH ME TOSEE WHAT THEY CAN GET OUT OF ME BUT AFTER LIFE EXPERIENCES I OUTSMART THEM I PREFER TO BE MYSELF AND CARE FOR ANIMALS THEY FULFIL MY LIFE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE❤ SPIRITUALLY- HEALING & AT PEACE TOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE TOXIC INTENTIONS TO INTERFERE AND ATEMPT TO COMPLICATE MY LIFE - I KEEP THEM AT A DISTANCE AMEN🙏
Im 61 & completely get you , orphaned at 5 & the same kind of story here in the UK 🇬🇧, you learn at a young age that your different & people notice your resilience & this can be off putting to many peers. Reason being because you are the only one to have you're own back. Stay strong & never stop believing in yourself. ❤ we also have to realise how we treat & respect people is not always reciprocated by others, you're hour of need is not always their concern, & this is what hurts us. I'm now my own best friend.
That’s such a touching experience. Thank you for sharing Tracy. I agree that when people don’t find a certain vulnerability in you, they tend to pull away. I think that some people feed off of other people’s insecurities as this makes them feel stronger and so strong people are not their “kind of friend”. Hope you’re doing well 😊
Its ok to not be ok. Sometimes having friends can become a nightmare. This is a different era an time in life be very careful who u invite into your life
I am 42 and haven't had friends in a long time. After my partner passed, I learned the importance of having one.I am open to it but right now, focusing on myself and my child.
So sorry to hear about your loss. You definitely need time to heal by yourself. I wish you all the best and hope you meet and connect with someone or people who can appreciate you.
You’re extremely courageaous doing this video. I would suggest you keep looking for genuine friends, anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend it seems like ❤
My sister am 40 years old and I hv the same issue. I hv come to realize that they can't stand me cos they think life is treating me well. Am seeing blessings in every aspect of my life and it's making them jealous so they walk away cos they can't stand the feeling of jealousy it brings to them. Jah bless
OMGeeeeee I have lived this as well with some people. And trust me my life is no paradise. But I have seen God's blessings here and there and some people can't stand it. The last person I thought was a friend could not help but show her truth...I had a very serious accident in Jan 2023 and she was the only person I called from the hospital. She never came to see me. Either at the hospital or at home.
Keep it up sister, I would recommend you in 2025 to read book called Your Life Your Game by Keezano. It beautifully shows how connecting with God and building meaningful relationships can lead to spiritual growth and success in both your personal and professional life. This book truly changed my life..a must-read. God bless💗
Middle age woman and no friends,but l am my happiest, no outside noise or influence to destroy my current relationship. I don’t miss the girl group and bestie stuff. Very close with my younger brother who will be my maid of honour when l get married.
I realized this a lot. I have a lot of trauma and abandonment issues from my childhood. I have worked with therapists quite a lot in this and I still struggle. I am 43 now and I have zero friends and struggle to build connection with people especially at this age. Most people dont want to make effort, they rather scroll then meet up and do something. I don't have any suggestions but I thought I share that I resonate. People w/ trauma crave deep connections where most people are okay with having superficial connections.
Your last sentence hit home. We certainly understand the difference between meaningful relationships rather than superfluous ones. And that’s why some friendships just aren’t worth it for us.
"People don't ghost people they loved, they ghost people they were using, there's your closure right there." Is a quote I've heard that has applied to a few friendships that ended suddenly and without me thinking there was anything wrong. It sounds harsh, but this viewpoint helped me.
You’re so right. My first time hearing this quote and it’s switched on a light. I would never turn my back on someone I truly cared about even when they did something to me. I’d rather discuss it with them. Thanks for your comment 😊
Not entirely true though. I ghost people who try to get close to me because I feel at some point they will hurt me and I can’t be bothered for the attention many “grown adults” NEED from me. My closest friend we talk once every couple of months and when we do, it’s like we were kids again.
Some people ghost people not because they don’t want you but sometimes they have too many problems and they don’t want stress out people around them,so for me I just go in my shell thinking that I will fix things soon and go back.
Hiya, just subscribed to your videos because l heard your journey of friends. I am in my 50’s living in the UK. I have had my journey of friends, they are around you for what they can get from you and they disappear. Nowadays, l focus on myself. I have my children and my husband and sometimes l feel lonely but l find things that make me happy so that l am not lonely. I love going to the gym, l travel alone sometimes, love shopping, spa’s, movies. All these things make me happy and cancels the loneliness. You just have to find things that make you feel good and God will put that true person to you and you will develop a good friendship. All the very best keep smiling beautiful lady. God bless you.
Thank you so much for your kindness. I also fill up my days doing things that make me happy. It’s just that sometimes (not very often) , I do wonder about such “non-friendships”. I hope you’re having a wonderful start to the new year ☺️😊
I am going through the same thing, I'm a friendly introvert too, I enjoy more being alone and keeping to myself but yes, introverts need friends too although it's hard "burging" but we wish. The price we pay for being like this is people will always misunderstood us and some may think that we are rude....thank God for the technology and social media because that's where we hide and try to act like everyone. Please be my friend.
To walk alone (socially) is not such a bad thing to be honest. Society dictates otherwise and quite rightly because we're sociable creatures and that's how we were created. I'm happily married and we have 4 lovely children, I adore my family and outside of them I genuinely don't feel the need to socialize with anyone else. I rarely socialize and even then only if I absolutely have to. I do enjoy my own company, I've been this way from I was a boy. We have to live our lives in our own unique way. My advice to you is just embrace you, you're a one off and you are special. I can relate to nearly 💯 percent of what you have been speaking about.
If you do choose to have some friends it's very important to choose your friends wisely and also choose friends that you can trust and be careful who you trust and tell your problems to not everyone who smiles at you is your friend
My sister, don't worry about friendship. I am sure you are doing nothing to push them away. I had lots of friends, but as I became better each time, I lost some. Many friends don't like success. Just start doing something you are passionate about. Wait for a true friends.
@@peacejoymugirya2241I know the feeling. I’m working on a video for ways to connect with people as a shy introvert. I hope it will be helpful to others.
I am 55 and I don’t have friends…..and I’m not sad about it…..people show their TRUE colors and it will let you down……TREMENDOUSLY…..just stay friendless……your husband is your friend.
I completely understand the struggle, Friendships have been a struggle at this stage, real genuine connections.... Im glad this video randomly popped into my timeline...New subbie ❤
There is nothing wrong with you. I just think that, similar to me, you had an unstable upbringing, at least from a social standpoint and that in itself can be sort of traumatising and destabilising for a developing child. It’s normal that you struggle with adult relationships given that you had to deal with having such fragmented and unpredictable relationships in childhood. There may also be other trauma or situations from childhood that you have yet to unpack that subconsciously affect which people you choose to be friends with, how you behave in friendship etc. I know this because I hace a very similar story to you and suffer from the same thing-I’m also a bookish introvert. I think therapy is a great outlet and since you are clearly self-aware, journaling and reflecting on your experiences and feelings can be a great way to help you cope.
I couldn’t agree with you more! This is one of the reasons I started this channel, to connect with others differently while analyzing my own thoughts and feelings. Thank you so much for your insightful comment. How are you coping with your memories? Sounds like you’re super intuitive as well 😊🫶🏾
Sigh. I have to agree. I’m the same way. Extremely chaotic upbringing, moved schools numerous times and even countries. It didn’t help that I had an unstable alcoholic father and my home was always just… weird. People always shunned me as the “weird new girl.” I’m just like you, a bookish friendly introvert. I actually have soooo much friendship trauma, with girls specifically, only because those were my friends growing up. I’m not sure if I’d have problems with boys if I’d been their friends. As a result, I have extreme trouble making and keeping friendships with girls!!! I feel like I have some sort of invisible ick?? Sometimes I just withdraw from the group before they have a chance to reject me. Girls think I’m weird too. Not all girls ofc but that’s just been my experience :( I think my unstable upbringing definitely contributed to this. I have no issue making friends with guys. But I always find out eventually that they have ulterior motives so it doesn’t even count as friendship. Sigh.
I have attachment issues as well. I struggle to maintain relationships. How do you do that plus adult, it's so exhausting. I too am an introvert and I'm not sure if I want friends or if I'm just embarrassed that I don't have any. I feel like I'm not a functioning adult because of it. Y'all want to start a book club or something?
From a fellow Nigerian introvert..❤🇳🇬 I totally connect with your story. What has helped me so far is being part of genuine Christian communities. I don’t find friends there, but I find amazing people that I connect with on a deeper level. As for office, I have ZERO friends as a matter of personal preference (story for another day.. lol). Nothing wrong with you. It’s just the way it is for those wired the way we are. Sending best wishes, Nick
U put it perfectly. I understand her, too. My picker for friends was broken. I picked people who were bad for me, and they hurt me. I can say I have lots of acquaintances and casual friends but no platonic friend.
People are strange, but I think you should have reached out to her to see if you did something wrong. Making friends as an adult is challenging. I make friends by joining groups that align with my interests. For example, I enjoy reading, so I joined a reading group. I like floral arrangements, so I joined a group focused on that hobby.
I did try but she’s always been secretive. She had done the same thing to another friend and refused to discuss it with the other lady. Anyway, I might still message her just to get it off my chest 😅 I like your idea about joining a group. I’ll search around for something. Thank you! 🫶🏾
Isabella, relationships nowadays are mostly fake bc people like to act a certain way to be acceptted and dont show there true self so that they get along. I am like you and always like to say what I really feel and most people dont like that. My parents always tell me to not give advice bc people wont accept as it mostly hurt there ego, unless asked ofcourse. This might be a reason? and so many are so sensitive these days and dont accept any critisicm or pointing out mistakes. I believe this is major problem and affect us as a whole negatively as we wont improve and become hypocritical as a society and fragile. Dont think about and move on. I met a lady at a cafe and I feel that she is like me as she is honest and we bacame friends. Dont lose hope
@@InspiredbyIsabellasis, I wouldn’t message her. Take it from someone who went through a similar situation. I tried reaching out multiple times and I honestly regret it. It will just feed her ego that you can’t let her go and that she was the one who cut you off. People like that can dish it but can’t take it if the same thing were to happen to them. If she doesn’t want you, love yourself enough to let her go. People who don’t care for us are not worth caring for.
on second thoughts, I think you may be right. I went back through our chats and noticed I messaged her last. Shortly after that, I’d found out she’d invited our other friends to dinner but not me and my husband. I’ve been on without her for 5 years now so should I really stir that pot? I really don’t know
Thanks for sharing. I’m 40. I too have no friends. When I got married I slowly lost contact with my friends. My marriage was hard during the first 15 years. Now I’m living a dream for the past year but I stay cautious. In those 15 years & 3 kids later, it took a my entire energy and even more to survive. My family knows my situation so they understand and pray for me. None of my friends reach out to me on my birthday and that’s when I fully realize that I’m by myself and I only have my family now. It’s depressing but I know that I can make new friends.
I was in your position before, very similar story, changing school and stuff so it was hard to join friendship groups that had already been established. I prayed to God to send me a friend and he did and I thank Him for it. We are now like sisters and I made more friends through her. Keep your heart open.❤
Sis I can relate to your feelings about friends. There is nothing wrong about you. People now invest their time in relationships that only benefits THEM . I’m subscribing! you have a new friend here in Canada 🇨🇦 let’s be friends i’m 39 years old.
We have similar stories! Your story really resonates with me. Good to know there are people I can relate with. I’m forty this year and I’d rather not have friends than have fake people around, although I’m hopeful for a good friend to do life with sometime in the future🤞🏾
There is nothing wrong with you dear. When pple are not in the same season as you are, they tend to pull away, bse you might be mirroring what they are lacking in themselves. You should NEVER invest in your workmates as best friends. It's actually best that your workmates don't have much info abt your private life. You can later make them your besties if you or they are not working in the same work place. When pple choose to go, LET THEM!! - Mel Robbins
This is wonderful! 🥰 I appreciate your encouragement. I do sometimes get the sense of “mirroring”. I think you can just tell when someone else wishes they had what you have. Oh well, we can’t have everything in life so I’ll enjoy what I have. Thank you so much for your powerful comment. I wish you all the best!
I’m about 54 and the same, I have 2 good friends one close one far away. Pray about having real friends, you won’t have many, real friends are like having a loving spouse one or two in your lifetime so pray for genuine friendships because people are difficult today for many reasons and when you have a genuine heart many today see it as a weakness rather than something to be treasured.
THIS IS ME AT 33. i grew up with a family and 5 siblings but im an introvert. lived in 3 countries, 6 cities, was born in an other, went to 6 different schools. im from a french country but had my entire teens in a english country. so im different to ppl in my country and even french foreigners in my country. and english speakers are rare. i also dont know how to keep in touch cause they arent part of my everyday life. and the ppl ive met never really cared about what i cared about. i had to be the extroverted side of me. ppl never appreciate my introverted side.
It takes a lot of courage to be this open, I’m in the same boat as you. But you seem intelligent and kind, anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
This is so me, grew up in nigeria in a strict household with 2 brothers. I never had female friends and no one came over to my house so I had to learn to befriend my siblings and my self. I’m 25 now and I still struggle with letting people in and when i let them in I struggle with maintaining the friendship cause I’m so used to being by myself. I don’t even date cause I don’t have the energy to sustain it. I am still hopeful one day I’ll meet a group or just 1 girl that gets me.
Thank you for sharing. I believe being in your 20s, is the best time for you to discover yourself fully. Take your time but don’t completely forfeit outside connections as they’re also important. One day, you’ll attract the right person who’ll fill that spot just right. I did in my husband ☺️
Hey, how about joining a group activity? Or volunteering? That could bring you in contact with others without necessarily having to make the first contact. In my case, I had to push myself to be the first to say hi to people. The first time was extremely difficult but now, depending on my mood, I can work up the mental courage to say hi in group activities.
You’re definitely not alone. I am 41F, Married- significant age gap, 3 children, unfavorable early life experiences, quiet, dry ass morbid ass sense of humor, fiercely private. I find it challenging to maintain the consistency in communication that builds relationships up. Working on it, falling on my face lots. I attend workshops and webinars around my interests and that’s had the best outcome so far in terms of casual relationships. Finding friends in adulthood has its own challenges and I don’t know that SM has made it any easier. First time watching and I am grateful for your sharing, it’s appreciated. New sub ❤.
Hey Alex! I could feel that dry humor from how you write 😊 Quite refreshing. One of the things I appreciate in people is that kind of rawness. You’re right though, as we get older, it gets harder to tolerate others into our space. Having that “distant” group relationship is probably the best. Thank you for subscribing! Also appreciated here. 🫶🏾 Do you also have a channel?
So sorry to that darling. Stay strong and practice self-love until someone worthy of you comes along. Do activities you enjoy and try joining communities that have similar interests as you. I truly wish you all the happiness you deserve 🫶🏾
Im 35 too except the single part. Have you tried joining a social group with similar interests? Bookclub? Hobby Club? Try joining a social group that meets strictly online or via video call if you have social anxiety. If not, dont push yourself. Enjoy you and use the alone time to discover what makes you happy, goals, vacation, etc… 😊
@ I never join non ( do have any recommendations of the groups?). Girl I need this 🙈I think I’m too much on my head and shy .. I tried to travel several time but I end up spending time on my room 😀..
Hey, try COUCHSURFING to meet people when you travel. My suggestion to meet people at home is first think about something you enjoy, say, dancing, baking or cycling and then search for groups within your area. Facebook is a good place to find such groups actually.
I don't know why the algorithm put your video in my recommendations but I'm so glad it did. I'm also a 41 year old introvert, and in the same position. I'm at peace with that but sometimes I want to be in deeper friendships with people besides my husband. I have some longtime friends but life and distance get in the way. I have lupus and when I got diagnosed 15 years ago, people I thought were friends faded away. I seem to attract people who are going through life changes or are struggling in some way and I become more of an auntie/mentor figure rather than an actual friend. Interactions focus on their problems and I end up being a therapist. That drains my energy and I end up with no outlet for myself. To protect my energy I've put my guard up, which can repel people, and end up largely alone. Obviously there's so much more to my story, but listening to yours felt like a remix of my own. While I'm happy in my life as it is, I'd love to 'belong' somewhere or have a few close friends instead of playing therapist. Thank you so much for sharing; it's comforting to know that others are in similar situations -- happy as is, but welcome that fellowship via strong/close friendship.
Hey! I totally get you. You’ve added another component that happens to me too- the auntie therapist 😊. It definitely would be great to “belong” somewhere, but not necessarily in a friendship. I’m signing up for volunteering this year. See if I like it, if not, I’ll try something else. This UA-cam channel is also a means for me to seek community. How about you? Are you trying anything to find a community?
@@InspiredbyIsabella I'm getting into volunteering this year as well, and hopefully into some additional activities like dance classes (I danced for 25+ years and miss it). Here's hoping for a great year for you, your channel, and all of us in your audience! 😊😊
LOVE your HONESTY - I think many folks feel the same as you do - things did change a lot after COVID - I have observed this. I just liked and subscribed - your SINCERITY is what did it - lol!
Lovely to meet you on UA-cam Isabella🥰 A lot of your history resonates. If I may, I'll share 3 things that help me no end. The overarching one is a biblical worldview which means 1) The comfort and assurance that I am loved by the Creator despite my flaws which He knows so well, and I can seek clarity and wisdom from Him to walk in my purpose each day. 2) an understanding of the human condition as flawed and marred by sin and therefore managing my expectations accordingly. 3)seeking a like-minded fellowship or church home and connecting and serving with souls whose values align. Hope this is helpful in some way🙏🏾
I'm 38 and have mostly maintained my friends from childhood through various levels of education. The level of intimacy varies depending on where we are geographically and spiritually but they are always there somewhere and I thank God for that. Sometimes it takes just a casual "how are you doing" to rekindle old friendships or make new ones. I just moved to a new country and can relate to this.
Hey sweetie, thank you for your video. Allow yourself to be loved by strangers baby. Your friends are coming your way. I love you and keep us updated baby !
I am 29 & single, and I can relate ❤ I love how you have a balanced perspective of the “why”. Also happy for you that, at least, you have my our own family - husband and kid. Personally, I have a few friends but no meaningful friendships. So it’s pretty much the same thing. Relocating from Nigeria to the US also affected me a bit, but maybe one day we’ll find our community or maybe not. Regardless, I’m just a girl living her life 🥹 Also I hope you eventually message your old friend. If for nothing else, to relieve yourself of the “what if”.
What an insightful comment! I’m glad you were able to relate and that you understand how it feels to both be ok being your own company while not totally closing up to the prospect of connecting with people. I really hope you’ll find your own community or that one person who will be a good companion to you ☺️🥰 A few people have said so too. I’ll message her tonight! 😅 Maybe I’ll make a video of what happens after…
I'm an introvert too. It's never really been a barrier to me making friends (at all levels, whether in childhood or adulthood), but it's been an issue for others, I believe, in them remaining my friends. I say 'them' b/c if someone has me as a friend-- and they're good people to be around-- they'll have me as a friend for life, but so many people don't seem to view friendship that way. It's a shame. I will say though, being an introvert has at times had me questioning myself, how I'm coming across to others. I realize now that I was normal and didn't have to be an extrovert to be normal. I remember as a kid I quickly made a friend who ended up moving away, so things like that definitely play a part and it uses so much energy as an introvert to the point where you try to find the energy to authentically do that all over again. 🤡 When I was in grad school, I made a cool small group of friends, but had a feeling that it would be temporary, and the vast majority were. Only one person from that group I'd call a friend right now, but we don't talk much at all. LOL (?): It's like, even when I do have friends, the friendships aren't really close until we happen to randomly talk and the interaction is the same each time we do. There was one other friend from that group I was really close to who years after (just a couple years ago) didn't invite me to her wedding; yet, she still has the audacity to react & comment on my social media posts like she did nothing wrong or odd at best. I say all this to say-- like someone else has-- there's nothing wrong with you. If someone is truly your friend, then they should accept you, blunt-talking and all, and if something bothers them, then they owe you the decency and respect to tell you (especially after a long friendship).
People will come and go out of your life. Do not worry about what’s going to happen when you get old. You can always meet new people. People change. People move on. That’s normal. Focus on being the friend you would like to have and the right friends will come to you.
There's nothing wrong with you, there's many of us like you. Navigating friendships as we get older is hard. Anyway, coffee sometime in the next few weeks? Im visiting 🇲🇹 tomorrow from 🇿🇦.
Hey, hey! Glad to find someone else who relates. Would definitely have loved to grab that coffee but I’m spending Christmas with my husband’s family in Sicily 🙂. How long will you be in Malta for??
Hey I totally relate. Just celebrated my birthday alone and complete. I was ok eating out surrounded by big groups of “ friends” the restaurant bought my cake out to me and everyone sang happy birthday. I paid for it n it was nice n fulfilling enough. I don’t miss the burden of the friends thing. The closer I got to knowing my self, healing and cutting off toxic family I found peace n can feel energies more clearly now which sadly the negative reeking off of people I hardly know but have dealt with professionally. I don’t need to get close or long for friends as I’ve been a real one all my life n only experience envy jealousy n boundaries crossing. Being alone is my protection. I come here for videos when I need interaction and may start seeing a therapist but I do not want “ friends” . I like my own company too much now nature animals.
Hi! I get you. The more comments like yours I get, the more I realize that I’m doing well not having all those people around me. Thanks for reminding me of that! Happy Birthday btw. Stay blessed! 😊🫶🏾
I came to this video because it hits home for me. I’ve been hurt too by fake friends. I would love to link to anyone who’s interested in talking. I’m in Atlanta but it doesn’t matter if someone is not here also.
Hey, I'm 52, never had friends not one, I think when I was a teenager I thought they were my friends but they Became users, I've been married for 29 years and because of those experiences I didn't try I just grew my own family it gets lonely though, I would like to talk on the phone , go shopping, get my nails done away from my family. I'm from Newyork but live in Richmond Virginia now would love to meet friends.
God bless you dear Sister, I salute you for your honesty, courage and openness. Your more powerful than you think. You've taken action about something you wish to address and change. Most people don't take action so they are unable to manifest the things that they desire. Life circumstances often dictate our relationship outcomes with others. The lack of friendships is no reflection of who you are or your value to the Universe. You are a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered. You are a blessing from God and people will soon begin to see you, welcome you and love you for the beautiful Soul that you are. May God bless you and send you a forever soul tribe.
You are amazing. And there is nothing wrong with you. You are loved and love yourself and accept who you are and that you are enough. And if people do not wanne be with you, they are probably not the right people in uour life. There loss! I hope you get what your looking for
The few friendships I've made as an adult always fizzled out because I eventually had to become the one who was always reaching out trying to maintain the connection. It's very frustrating. I'm lucky I have a few childhood friends that I keep in touch with, otherwise I'd be feeling lonely.
I completely understand.. I’m a very quiet person in my personal life.. I also come off as standoff which make it hard to people to gravitate towards me.. I’m very successful and that makes it even harder.. I’m in a new state in the USA and I’m 45 years old with no friends
Your not alone I have no friends and I’m okay (sometimes) find a passion you love or a hobby you want to do more and there is where you find like minded people. You have to have common interest with your friends or they will fade away over time.
You are never alone🫶🏼I understand sister I’ve been where you are. I am now 51 finally realize my inner strength and have made life beautiful I believe in you
I’m 39 and do have friends. I’m also an introvert who’s awkward and healing from trauma. People make things so hard when it’s not. Just tell the truth instead of leading people on
I'm the same way. 37 and no friends. I tend to be misunderstood alot despite being quiet and introverted. Right now I'm currently being misunderstood by my own biological sisters who I at one point considered my friends. Now two of the three sisters are being passive aggressive, gossiping about me and acting fake and distant around me. Despite not doing anything particularly. And they didn't even care enough to let me know their issues with me. I love them and would be open to work things out if I knew what the issue is. Instead everyone stays in their own clique.
I’m 41 and really relate to your childhood experience of moving home and schools so often you couldn’t retain long term friendships. I only have a one or two real friends but I don’t see them often, but I’ve known them over 20 years and consider them sisters. Not made any close friends like that again. I am a hermit and don’t go out much, so not much opportunity to meet people now. But I don’t get lonely as I’m used to it (I was an only child until 11). But I have recently thought I need to make more effort to stay in touch with people. It’s me. I’m the one who never reached out, including to family. Even though I enjoy my own company I think I’d be a better person if I made more time for others. I think I should find a club to join and force myself into a social life with like minded people. I don’t have kids and see so many single mothers around I think it would be nice to find a female I can be emotional support to, and help, because I know from seeing my own mother go through it, it’s hard.
Yeah, we’re very similar. I’d suggest to not overthink it and just join an activity club but without any specific expectations, see how it goes. I often “force” myself to reach out to family members by setting a reminder. That helps 😊. All the best dear!
@ if I was a superhero I’d be The Overthinker 😂 you are right, I definitely should not think too hard about it and just catapult myself into some kind of community event and overcome the urges to leave which I’ll be fighting throughout. I need to discipline myself, can’t go on just thinking about myself all the time. I’m scared I’ll turn into a narcissist. Having been hurt and betrayed quite badly in life I’ve built up a significant wall that might take some time to dismantle, or at least lower the wall a bit. I should at least put a window or door in the wall this year 😂
I have a lot of acquaintances. I know a lot of people but our values morals, what makes a good friendship dont align with everyone else. I moved a lot as well and books were my friends.
Continue loving on your family and Yourself. I have had friends since elementary but over the years all that changed for different reasons. I realized that I do not have to look for associates, it will just happen. And through associates, you will meet friends, but this time around these friendships can be healthy from wisdom you have from passed experiences you learned from. I too believe this.
Am in my 50's and very lonely. I have trust issues, not married but a single mom of 19 year old son. In my 20s-30s i had a lot of friends, we would hang out, go clubbing, parties etc. Then everyone moved on, got married and got kids and we kind of lost touch. I don't like making friends in my workplace as i have been betrayed, as i disclosed very personal issues which became gossip and was used against me. Its Christmas am alone in the house but somehow i find peace, but i always think should something happen to me, will there be anyone who will show up in my funeral other than my family who i live very far from as am in another country? I will read comments
Hey Mimi, I understand how you feel. I do think this way sometimes but I’m content knowing that only those who truly knew me and loved me would be there at my funeral. Perhaps try doing activities where you can interact with others and maybe leave an impact. Like volunteering or teaching something. I wish you all the best and hope you can find someone or a group to help ease the loneliness. I’ll be going live soon to have a chat and meet up session. Hope to see you there ☺️🫶🏾
Your story looks a lot like mine. I'm a Nigerian myself and my dad was a soldier, so, we were constantly being transfered from one state to the other and that crippled my ability to make friends and i don't even understand any Nigerian language to make matter worse. Now I am 36 with no friends and a romantic partner and i was diagnosed with social anxiety. So i can understand what it means to go through all of this.
I am same boat, the bluntness part I think people cant relate with........ and If I were to be quiet I am perceived as stuck up. I dont now the answer but its not ideal. I am pretty sure now I have detachment disorder. At this point I almost feel as if I started to self sabotage. I am almost givivng up but I am certain it is to do with my upbringing, but now I should try to fix it.
Hey you, hang in there and be strong for yourself. It’s alright to be sensitive but you still have to let a few people in. Just try getting to know them first on a lighter tone. Take as long as you need and then open up little by little. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll still be fine. I wish you all the best!
You are unapologetically you and sometimes that doesn’t align with others. I had a huge friend group. Once I realized that the friendships were one sided, those friendship la dwindled away and now I have none. I’m okay with being alone however do sometimes miss the togetherness of getting together with friends. I think when I grew, the relationships were no longer part of my path. I know I did everything with love and kindness. I accepted that I was placed in their lives to help them heal. I’m a person of service and knowing that has helped me a lot to deal with the l moments of loneliness that show up from time to time. I will you the strongest friendships that will find their way to you! Ones that you need and they need!
Thank you so much and for sharing your story. We’re stronger for being able to stay true to ourselves and to be our own strengths. All the best at to you!
Same here. I really feel you.. we are same age and my husband is also older than I am a bit.. I am friendly to people, get invited for few functions. My issue is that I'm not a regular woman, not interested in what many women are in interested in, i have a very independent mind but I ache knowing I have no close friend. It probably has to do with the way I was raised too... had no social life perse and was always told no especially going for functions. God help us..lol. I get scared my kids would end up like my husband and I. I am open to friendship, I am also Nigerian not that it matters :). we could start with a distant group . You should have reached out to your friend the 6 year one. At this point I have added a good friend to my prayer list . trust God to lead me to one.
I totally get you! Not being the normal idea of most women makes us appear either “lofty” or weird to other women. But I still consider it a positive attribute. Your kids will find their own way 😊 so don’t worry about that. I’m planning a live event here on UA-cam soon, hope you’ll join 😊 just to chat and have a sip while talking about interests. No pressures. Cheers! And have a wonderful end of year!
Im 43 no kids and no friends. I love the fact that I dont have to worry about being used for only emotional nor financial support. I believe I was meant to be this way, as I pick up other peoples energy and it becomes overwhelming at times almost as if Im being smothered. My only regret in life is that I didnt embrace this sooner. I spent my 20s and early 30s making myself entertain others (Good/Bad/Ugly) situations out of FEAR of the others perception of me not having friends. When the Truth was and is I Like, Love and can truly ever only trust ME. Back then I was expecting to get me from others I was ALWAYS let down.
I also had a childhood friend cut me off randomly. Felt like a complete blindside and two years later, I am still trying not to think about it. Like you, I can be described as a blunt person. Through introspection (and therapy), I realized I have a “fixer” mentality and would be friends with people I subconsciously believed I could fix. This resulted in me befriending people with deep emotional issues. So in hindsight, it makes sense that the friend who also struggled with confrontation & had other issues with communication would end her friendship with me because of certain grievances without actually tell me what the issues were to see if we could work through it. Those type of people have problems that having nothing to do with us, but it’s easier for them to blame us than heal their issues. It still hurts but I take accountability for befriending her in the first place.
Wow, I needed to see this. Your personality reflects some of mine. And you’re right. It’s time for us to “forgive” ourselves for getting into such relationships in the first place. I wish you all the best dear!
Hey Isabella, I’m so glad I came across your video-it really hit home. At 29, I feel like I’ve lost all my friends, but this year, God opened my eyes to see they weren’t true friends. Letting go was hard and left me feeling lonely, but I trust He’ll bring the right people into my life. Your video reminded me I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing-it truly encouraged me. 😊
I’m so glad you feel that way. You’ll find that it’s better without fair weather friends. Eventually, you’ll find someone to build a deep connection with. I wish you all the best!
I'm 40 and my hubby is 23. I had to cut off my toxic girlfriends because I don't have time for childish games. I am growing and learning from my mistakes by taking care of my son as a single parent. I got married this year to him.
As a soon to be 33 year old I’m an introvert ive been traumatised by bad friendships n relationships but I’ve managed to maintain a good friendship with 2 of my childhood friends and I’m unraveling from a toxic marriage so they’ve been very impactful in helping me navigate being single again 😊I’m dating again it’s not easy embracing someone new when ur used to being on your own lol when we cancel plans sometimes it makes me the happiest person 😂😂 im even told it seems like i get over break ups easily because I enjoy my alone time so much 👀👀it’s weird loving your own space immensely but also craving companionship occasionally. I am challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone
Hey girllll.. we have a lot in common and I still don’t have any friends, it’s important to have at least one trusted person to call a friend that you can genuinely open up2 and the love and care will genuinely be reciprocated. Especially for your mental health. I’m open to being friends. ❤
I'm 40 and exactly the same. I am rubbish at communicating, but the few friends I have understand i need a very low maintenance friendships. Those ones where we can go without speaking for weeks but then when we do speak, it's like no time has past. I hate small talk, I love when we speak there is so much too talk about we can speak for hours but that's just me. I would love a friendship where we can get together a group of just as girls, travel etc. But I know I wouldn't be able to keep up the pressure of maintaining those friendships because they require alot of maintenance. I'm also a Big texter, I hate talking on the phone, not sure why that is, maybe a childhood thing but there you go. It's definitely a lonely life but I know me well enough to know, I couldn't handle more maintenance required for deeper friendships with people.
Glad i found your channel, im in a simliar situation. Just turned 47 and have been dealing with failed friendships all my life. I've been cut off without notice, too. was sad, but as I got older, I learned to love myself. I know I haven't done anything wrong & at times they can be secretly jealous of you. Look at it like this..ppl are in your life for a season. Real friends are rare, but ask God 2 send you a good friend. It's ok to be solo, and at least you don't have to worry about unnecessary drama. You'll know when you have a true friend.
I'm 51 my lovely & have no friends... Any friends I have had just used me (it was very distressing & knocked my confidence totally) I live in Blackpool England UK 💚🧚🏼♂️💯💎
You sound very self aware and I think this is a great start to finding the right people in your life . I’m sure there other people that are looking for friends that are introverted by nature who want to form close bonds . Have you prayed about this ? Maybe this could make all the difference because you seem like a lovely person who is slowly attracting what you want in your life ❤
Beloved, There's a saying, "Friends are for a reason and a season." They come and go, same as family. When we are "off" season, we need to self care and grow. During off, we can look to interests, hobbies, and make plans. You have found a niche, and if you look around, you'll see you're not alone. Although you may feel lonely, that's a human condition. You need some mantras to remind yourself, "I am enough." And then continue to build on that. If you build a proper chicken coop, the proper chicken will come. Enjoy the friend you got, your husband, because so many can't say. Amen, enjoy the journey 🙏🏾 walk 👍🏽 good ❤
Your video really resonated with me. UA-cams algorithms a little too knowing. Have you looked into your attachment style? It can really help. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Hey, thanks! I know exactly what you mean with the UA-cam algorithm, that’s how I came to make this video even 😃 I did look it up and I would say that I. My 20s, I had an anxious attachment style. But now it’s secure because of my immediate family security hence I don’t feel the need to pretend in order to keep a friendship. Do you understand what I mean?
@InspiredbyIsabella I think so. You can be your authentic self now, not people pleasing or pretending to be someone you are not to please others? I went from anxious preoccupied to dismissive avoidance to fearful aviodant. I'm stuck now. I have ptsd though so a lot of how I am now is trauma. I'm glad you've found your way. That algorithm is scarily accurate at times. 😅
Join me for a chat about Meaningful Connections tonight at 8:30pm CET. Don’t forget to get your favorite beverage with you! ☕️🧋
ua-cam.com/users/live6f4vdcEdHWQ?si=DssuRKg_1Xwp80Gd
Guys let’s make friends, let’s don’t reinforce loneliness or abandonment issues. If you’ve been abandoned before or have not experienced healthy love - make friends, we are relational beings and part of our healing lies in other people. Let’s not give up.
Yes indeed! Having solid friendships is definitely something to look forward to.
Make friends. Like it's so easy. lEts mAkE fRieNds
@@icomeinpeace3756 I Wonder oooooo. You can’t force yourself on anyone now. True Friendship is very hard to find now.
I’m in Atlanta, what state are u in ?
❤❤❤
I am 42 and had both parents while growing up. I had a pretty stable childhood. I do not have very close friends because women can be very competitive. If you are doing just a little bit better than them they will start to treat you indifferent. I had an old friend tell me that all you need in life are at least 2 good friends and your spouse. To be honest I am not really close to my family because they tend to throw shade. Be blessed.
I second this
I completely get you. I have one good friend though but it baffles me that she’s never invited me to her home, like NEVER! For me, that circle of friendship isn’t closed. Anyway, I still like hanging out with her when we manage to meet up.
All the best to you darling!🫶🏾
It's hard being a woman. When you are beautiful people will isolate you, when you are ugly people would also isolate you. Women are toxic, they can't see other women doing better/ less than them. They want everything goes their way or else they don't want to be your friend.
People think that the stereotypical family with 2 parents who paid the bills and stuff means you have "nothing to complain about". That has always thrown me off 😅
Yep yep. Am looking for penpals but ooooh, nobody does snail mail anymore. It would be like looking backwards.
Get a social life, join a club, become a Volunteer. I feel you, I also struggle with friendships, I don't trust people. I don't believe what people say because I watch actions and actions speaker louder.
Same!!
I’m actually quite trusting by nature and that’s probably why I get burnt. My intention is to volunteer and just enjoy that company while i’m there. I’m usually fine alone too. Thanks!🙏🏾
This is my struggle. Actions never lie
I have trusted people before and got burnt really bad. I depend on MYSELF and I never DISAPPOINT MYSELF! People can be evil and just cruel
So sad 😭 but true sometimes. I still like to think there are some good folks out there.
Giiirrrrl I turned 40 this year and I feel like I’m in the exact same position!! What I have done is reconnected to hobbies or interest that I gave up. I’ve found my community in those spaces. I feel a whole lot better now.❤️
Thanks for sharing!! The hobbies do make one feel more whole. And welcome to the prestigious 40s club 😉
I'm 41 also, I'm a sahm of 7 and a wife which keeps me super busy, I don't have a issue with making friends, but I never have had a best friend who is completely there for me no matter what, like a sister to me, but the funny thing is I would be that for someone else. One day I pray I can have a deep connection with an amazing lady where we have each other's back and that companionship. I pray the same for you @inspiredbyisabella
Guuuurl, be you unapologetically.
I'm wondering if this is a 40 thing or if this is the effect of the states of life and not being fullfed. i am going to explore this on my channel in a few weeks. thanks for the inspiration.
I think it’s more widespread nowadays regardless of age. Perhaps social evolution has made us less dependent and as such, less connected. I’d like to know your thoughts in your video 😊
I am 46, people are busy, some are depressed, now I just enjoy when I do get to meet them. Find other communities, gym, art, music. Follow your interests and you will have friends from different communities. Hugs 🫂
Im 40 similar predicament, Im friendless by choice. My kind heart and character wont allow me to be in the presence of any and everyone so with that said, Im fine with my own company nor do i feel lonely
I completely get you. And I felt the same way until recently when my dad started showing signs of dementia brought on by isolation and loneliness. What I believe I’d like now is just a group activity or club where I can interact with others and keep my mind refreshed as I get older.
Same here, I like my own company. People just stress me out. I protect my peace ❤
I prefer my own company as well….
I’m so glad that I’m not alone who feels like that.
I have friends, but I’m ok not having any. People take too much space in my life. They are exhausting. I enjoy my own company.
@@blossom6235Same here❤
I will be your friend, sis. I'm glad you are in the world.
Thank you so much! Glad you’re here too 😊
@InspiredbyIsabella ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I will be your friend sister
@martyjean9591 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am an introvert and i don't have that many friends. My bestfriend and i met when we were 12 and 13yrs old. We are in our early 30s now. We are basically twin flames.
I did make more friends in high school but those friendships were only meant to last that long, so we drifted apart once high school was done. I didn't make friends at uni because i honestly had no time ( i was working fulltime and also studying). So i couldn't hang out with people at uni. I've made 2 new friends in adulthood through work and they are introverts like me.
Sometimes, we just connect with the wrong people. Some people are only meant to be aquintances not friends. My advice, join little groups (book clubs, sports clubs, photography clubs, travel groups etc). You are bound to connect with one or more people. You don't need too many, just one or two really amazing friends will be a blessing.
I’m 35, I’ll be 36 in a week & I can completely relate to your story. I had a best friend (my only friend really) from high school who randomly stopped talking during Covid. Now almost 5 years later I’d love to have community but I’m also one who protects my energy and that makes it difficult to really find meaningful friendships.
Wow. Same age and same situation (HS Friend and all) With the way things are and the way people have been cutting up at worse lately I have trust issues. Some people frown upon not having friends or think its the end of the world. I stopped caring. Honestly I do still have 1 friend which is myself… 😂 Something to consider…I joined a bookclub to have some sort of social community. We meet 1x per month via video call. Give it a try if youre into books or you can try MeetUp where you join a social group and link up.😊
That’s the part that hurt the most, why the sudden silence, right?!
Well, you aren’t alone. As Andrea said, joining an activity group will give you control over how and when you spend your energy without any necessary strings attached. For example, I always have a good chat with a gym instructor at the gym and it ends there. It’s nice that we don’t have any further expectations from each other 😊
Thanks for your comment Andrea. It’s nice to know you’re fine with being your own friend. However, community is still important especially as we grow older. Big hugs! And hope you enjoy your book club.
I can relate.
I am 39, married with kids , very lonely, no friends
I find it hard to trust, because my heart has been broken severally by female friends
@@InspiredbyIsabella Thanks Isabella I appreciate it!🤗 My comment didn’t mean that I’m fine with being my only friend. It meant Ive just grown to accept it and not allow others opinions rush me into making friends just for the sake of making friends. I’m taking my time to connect and develop real friends, In doing so keeping quality over quantity in the back of my mind. I hope everyone here develops true friendships and release any trust issues and fears they have. I know its a big challenge these days.💖
I am in the same boat. 😂 In my case, I found that I was the only one keeping the friendship going. If I stop contacting I noticed that they don't either even for 6-12 months! This led me to eventually stop trying.
That's me 💯
Same here 💯.
Me three 😢
I completely feel you. But why are people like that??
@@InspiredbyIsabellawhen they cyant use as They please.
I am also 41 & I don’t have any friends. I have tried to make friends at work but I feel like I’m always misunderstood. I still hope to find “my person” one day.
Work mates are not ideal as friends, I learned that over the years. I truly pray you’ll find someone one of these days. Stop searching and let it find you. Cheers!
If you do choose to have some friends it's very important to choose your friends wisely and also choose friends that you can trust and be careful who you trust and tell your problems to not everyone who smiles at you is your friend
Sameee
🫶🏾🫶🏾
Work colleagues are the worst of friendships. Take up an interest you enjoy doing and be friendly with everyone. Just be you and the right person will come into your life! God bless, 🙏! 🤍🤍🤍
Edit:
Very true @kimberleyJackson...., 🙏!
Im 41 as well. Exactly like you Nigerian but im Single, no kids so your situation better than mine. Just enjoy the years you have with your husband and kids ,dont think too much about the future. You're never too old to make new friends ❤
You’re absolutely right, thank you. Hope you’re doing well.
I am so proud of you, most people are toxic, messy or jelious, you don’t need no negativity!
That's exactly what I said lol not dealing with people is a blessing on its own. People are full of shit
True words!
spot on
God bless you. I am 41, same thing. I do technically have friends, but one moved thousands of miles away, the other is just never there and basically uses me as a placeholder for when nobody else is available. You know it's wild, I've spent more time alone these past 3 years than my whole life and sometimes I forget words for things, I literally FEAR dementia. We all need to talk more. We on the internet need to be a global community!
So sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I think you’re right to fear dementia but don’t let it take over your reasoning. Focus more on the present and welcome connections no matter how trivial. Doing some community work might help keep the lines open too. Wish you all the best dear! You’ve got this!
@@InspiredbyIsabella I've signed up to volunteer at my church, so hopefully that will help fill the days a little :)
❤️❤️ A day at a time.
I don't understand why people need company. I don't. I love complete peace and quiet.
Me 2 & Good for you Means that you how power within & you are a survivor. I live amongst nature. Unfortunately surrounded by people as well, occasionally it is good to have neighbours but WHOM keep themselves TO themselves. MOST OF MY LIKE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FRIENDLY WITH ME TOSEE WHAT THEY CAN GET OUT OF ME BUT AFTER LIFE EXPERIENCES I OUTSMART THEM I PREFER TO BE MYSELF AND CARE FOR ANIMALS THEY FULFIL MY LIFE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE❤ SPIRITUALLY- HEALING & AT PEACE TOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE TOXIC INTENTIONS TO INTERFERE AND ATEMPT TO COMPLICATE MY LIFE - I KEEP THEM AT A DISTANCE AMEN🙏
You can't change your past but you can change your future
Absolutely!
Im 61 & completely get you , orphaned at 5 & the same kind of story here in the UK 🇬🇧, you learn at a young age that your different & people notice your resilience & this can be off putting to many peers. Reason being because you are the only one to have you're own back. Stay strong & never stop believing in yourself. ❤ we also have to realise how we treat & respect people is not always reciprocated by others, you're hour of need is not always their concern, & this is what hurts us. I'm now my own best friend.
That’s such a touching experience. Thank you for sharing Tracy. I agree that when people don’t find a certain vulnerability in you, they tend to pull away. I think that some people feed off of other people’s insecurities as this makes them feel stronger and so strong people are not their “kind of friend”.
Hope you’re doing well 😊
I am 61 HNY 2025 successful, rewarding year Tracy
Its ok to not be ok. Sometimes having friends can become a nightmare.
This is a different era an time in life be very careful who u invite into your life
You’re absolutely right! Thanks!😊
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
TOTALLY AGREE!! WELL SAID!!
I am 42 and haven't had friends in a long time. After my partner passed, I learned the importance of having one.I am open to it but right now, focusing on myself and my child.
So sorry to hear about your loss. You definitely need time to heal by yourself. I wish you all the best and hope you meet and connect with someone or people who can appreciate you.
This is another issue, married friends and or their husbands tend to push out single friends. Speaking from too many experiences.
Sorry for your loss
You’re extremely courageaous doing this video. I would suggest you keep looking for genuine friends, anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend it seems like ❤
Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope I find that one genuine person 😊
My sister am 40 years old and I hv the same issue. I hv come to realize that they can't stand me cos they think life is treating me well. Am seeing blessings in every aspect of my life and it's making them jealous so they walk away cos they can't stand the feeling of jealousy it brings to them. Jah bless
That’s a valid point. I do feel this way with some people as well. Take care and all the best in life!
OMGeeeeee I have lived this as well with some people. And trust me my life is no paradise. But I have seen God's blessings here and there and some people can't stand it.
The last person I thought was a friend could not help but show her truth...I had a very serious accident in Jan 2023 and she was the only person I called from the hospital. She never came to see me. Either at the hospital or at home.
@@khadhrikhan1549 I'm so sorry for that! Consider it your good fortune. Now you don't have to worry about someone who is not for you.
That’s really horrible. Sorry to hear that.
Gosh sister you don’t put the filter when you talk. 😂😂😂😂😂
Keep it up sister, I would recommend you in 2025 to read book called Your Life Your Game by Keezano. It beautifully shows how connecting with God and building meaningful relationships can lead to spiritual growth and success in both your personal and professional life. This book truly changed my life..a must-read. God bless💗
Thanks miss
This is similar to me,buy a game console 🎉you won't regret
Middle age woman and no friends,but l am my happiest, no outside noise or influence to destroy my current relationship. I don’t miss the girl group and bestie stuff. Very close with my younger brother who will be my maid of honour when l get married.
I realized this a lot. I have a lot of trauma and abandonment issues from my childhood. I have worked with therapists quite a lot in this and I still struggle. I am 43 now and I have zero friends and struggle to build connection with people especially at this age. Most people dont want to make effort, they rather scroll then meet up and do something. I don't have any suggestions but I thought I share that I resonate. People w/ trauma crave deep connections where most people are okay with having superficial connections.
Your last sentence hit home. We certainly understand the difference between meaningful relationships rather than superfluous ones. And that’s why some friendships just aren’t worth it for us.
Hey my dear me to I don't have friend and I don't need friends my mummy was my friend she is late and I 50 year old
"People don't ghost people they loved, they ghost people they were using, there's your closure right there." Is a quote I've heard that has applied to a few friendships that ended suddenly and without me thinking there was anything wrong. It sounds harsh, but this viewpoint helped me.
You’re so right. My first time hearing this quote and it’s switched on a light. I would never turn my back on someone I truly cared about even when they did something to me. I’d rather discuss it with them. Thanks for your comment 😊
After helping many of my relatives, the relationships came to a halt. You have made my day🙏
You're spot on, 🙏! The right people who shares the same values and morals will come into your life, 🙏! 🤍🤍🤍
Not entirely true though. I ghost people who try to get close to me because I feel at some point they will hurt me and I can’t be bothered for the attention many “grown adults” NEED from me. My closest friend we talk once every couple of months and when we do, it’s like we were kids again.
Some people ghost people not because they don’t want you but sometimes they have too many problems and they don’t want stress out people around them,so for me I just go in my shell thinking that I will fix things soon and go back.
Hiya, just subscribed to your videos because l heard your journey of friends. I am in my 50’s living in the UK. I have had my journey of friends, they are around you for what they can get from you and they disappear. Nowadays, l focus on myself. I have my children and my husband and sometimes l feel lonely but l find things that make me happy so that l am not lonely. I love going to the gym, l travel alone sometimes, love shopping, spa’s, movies. All these things make me happy and cancels the loneliness. You just have to find things that make you feel good and God will put that true person to you and you will develop a good friendship. All the very best keep smiling beautiful lady. God bless you.
Thank you so much for your kindness. I also fill up my days doing things that make me happy. It’s just that sometimes (not very often) , I do wonder about such “non-friendships”.
I hope you’re having a wonderful start to the new year ☺️😊
I am going through the same thing, I'm a friendly introvert too, I enjoy more being alone and keeping to myself but yes, introverts need friends too although it's hard "burging" but we wish. The price we pay for being like this is people will always misunderstood us and some may think that we are rude....thank God for the technology and social media because that's where we hide and try to act like everyone. Please be my friend.
True, true friend. Hope you’ll make it to the live stream tomorrow 😊😊
To walk alone (socially) is not such a bad thing to be honest. Society dictates otherwise and quite rightly because we're sociable creatures and that's how we were created. I'm happily married and we have 4 lovely children, I adore my family and outside of them I genuinely don't feel the need to socialize with anyone else. I rarely socialize and even then only if I absolutely have to. I do enjoy my own company, I've been this way from I was a boy. We have to live our lives in our own unique way. My advice to you is just embrace you, you're a one off and you are special. I can relate to nearly 💯 percent of what you have been speaking about.
If you do choose to have some friends it's very important to choose your friends wisely and also choose friends that you can trust and be careful who you trust and tell your problems to not everyone who smiles at you is your friend
That’s absolutely something that I’ve learned. I think I’d just like to meet people who share similar interests. We don’t have to best friends 😅
It's better to be alone at times, somany people have been betrayed by so called best friends or friends.
So true. But it’s still good to be hopeful and open to the possibility of meeting a good friend. Connections are part of being human.
@@InspiredbyIsabella Absolutly correct and wishing you all the very best💃💃💃
My sister, don't worry about friendship. I am sure you are doing nothing to push them away. I had lots of friends, but as I became better each time, I lost some. Many friends don't like success. Just start doing something you are passionate about. Wait for a true friends.
Well said! I completely agree with you. When people don’t understand your goals, they tend to just drift away. Thank you for your comment!
They say it’s lonely at the top
Millions of people all over the world are just like you. You are beautiful 😍
I’m just discovering that with this video 😅
@@InspiredbyIsabella I'm here too🤭. 26 & I have no friends, I'm an introvert & find it hard to make friends 😔
@@peacejoymugirya2241I know the feeling. I’m working on a video for ways to connect with people as a shy introvert. I hope it will be helpful to others.
I am 55 and I don’t have friends…..and I’m not sad about it…..people show their TRUE colors and it will let you down……TREMENDOUSLY…..just stay friendless……your husband is your friend.
Thanks for your comment. My husband sure is a wonderful man and friend to me. ☺️
@@InspiredbyIsabella yes indeed
I completely understand the struggle, Friendships have been a struggle at this stage, real genuine connections.... Im glad this video randomly popped into my timeline...New subbie ❤
Hey Dammie! Glad you found it relatable. Hope I’ll be seeing around (my videos 😄). Cheers!
I am 27 and I will be joining this theatre production in my area to make friends and get in touch with my confidence again.😂😂
Sounds like a great idea. Take it a day at a time and don’t expect too much from people. This way, you can avoid disappointments.
Hugs!
There is nothing wrong with you. I just think that, similar to me, you had an unstable upbringing, at least from a social standpoint and that in itself can be sort of traumatising and destabilising for a developing child. It’s normal that you struggle with adult relationships given that you had to deal with having such fragmented and unpredictable relationships in childhood. There may also be other trauma or situations from childhood that you have yet to unpack that subconsciously affect which people you choose to be friends with, how you behave in friendship etc. I know this because I hace a very similar story to you and suffer from the same thing-I’m also a bookish introvert. I think therapy is a great outlet and since you are clearly self-aware, journaling and reflecting on your experiences and feelings can be a great way to help you cope.
I couldn’t agree with you more! This is one of the reasons I started this channel, to connect with others differently while analyzing my own thoughts and feelings.
Thank you so much for your insightful comment. How are you coping with your memories? Sounds like you’re super intuitive as well 😊🫶🏾
Sigh. I have to agree. I’m the same way. Extremely chaotic upbringing, moved schools numerous times and even countries. It didn’t help that I had an unstable alcoholic father and my home was always just… weird. People always shunned me as the “weird new girl.” I’m just like you, a bookish friendly introvert. I actually have soooo much friendship trauma, with girls specifically, only because those were my friends growing up. I’m not sure if I’d have problems with boys if I’d been their friends. As a result, I have extreme trouble making and keeping friendships with girls!!! I feel like I have some sort of invisible ick?? Sometimes I just withdraw from the group before they have a chance to reject me. Girls think I’m weird too. Not all girls ofc but that’s just been my experience :( I think my unstable upbringing definitely contributed to this. I have no issue making friends with guys. But I always find out eventually that they have ulterior motives so it doesn’t even count as friendship. Sigh.
I have attachment issues as well. I struggle to maintain relationships. How do you do that plus adult, it's so exhausting. I too am an introvert and I'm not sure if I want friends or if I'm just embarrassed that I don't have any. I feel like I'm not a functioning adult because of it. Y'all want to start a book club or something?
From a fellow Nigerian introvert..❤🇳🇬 I totally connect with your story. What has helped me so far is being part of genuine Christian communities. I don’t find friends there, but I find amazing people that I connect with on a deeper level. As for office, I have ZERO friends as a matter of personal preference (story for another day.. lol). Nothing wrong with you. It’s just the way it is for those wired the way we are. Sending best wishes, Nick
U put it perfectly. I understand her, too. My picker for friends was broken. I picked people who were bad for me, and they hurt me. I can say I have lots of acquaintances and casual friends but no platonic friend.
People are strange, but I think you should have reached out to her to see if you did something wrong. Making friends as an adult is challenging. I make friends by joining groups that align with my interests. For example, I enjoy reading, so I joined a reading group. I like floral arrangements, so I joined a group focused on that hobby.
I did try but she’s always been secretive. She had done the same thing to another friend and refused to discuss it with the other lady. Anyway, I might still message her just to get it off my chest 😅
I like your idea about joining a group. I’ll search around for something. Thank you! 🫶🏾
Isabella, relationships nowadays are mostly fake bc people like to act a certain way to be acceptted and dont show there true self so that they get along. I am like you and always like to say what I really feel and most people dont like that. My parents always tell me to not give advice bc people wont accept as it mostly hurt there ego, unless asked ofcourse. This might be a reason? and so many are so sensitive these days and dont accept any critisicm or pointing out mistakes. I believe this is major problem and affect us as a whole negatively as we wont improve and become hypocritical as a society and fragile. Dont think about and move on. I met a lady at a cafe and I feel that she is like me as she is honest and we bacame friends. Dont lose hope
Thank you. I still have hope. I sort of have one nice friend now 😅
@@InspiredbyIsabellasis, I wouldn’t message her. Take it from someone who went through a similar situation. I tried reaching out multiple times and I honestly regret it. It will just feed her ego that you can’t let her go and that she was the one who cut you off. People like that can dish it but can’t take it if the same thing were to happen to them. If she doesn’t want you, love yourself enough to let her go. People who don’t care for us are not worth caring for.
on second thoughts, I think you may be right. I went back through our chats and noticed I messaged her last. Shortly after that, I’d found out she’d invited our other friends to dinner but not me and my husband. I’ve been on without her for 5 years now so should I really stir that pot? I really don’t know
Thanks for sharing.
I’m 40. I too have no friends. When I got married I slowly lost contact with my friends. My marriage was hard during the first 15 years. Now I’m living a dream for the past year but I stay cautious. In those 15 years & 3 kids later, it took a my entire energy and even more to survive. My family knows my situation so they understand and pray for me. None of my friends reach out to me on my birthday and that’s when I fully realize that I’m by myself and I only have my family now. It’s depressing but I know that I can make new friends.
We all need friends ..good, honest and loyal ones
I was in your position before, very similar story, changing school and stuff so it was hard to join friendship groups that had already been established. I prayed to God to send me a friend and he did and I thank Him for it. We are now like sisters and I made more friends through her. Keep your heart open.❤
I’m so glad and motivated to hear your story. Keep that relationship going strong! 😊
Same, though I'm in my 30s. I'm very happy with this decision and its a peaceful life. People simply cannot be trusted 🤷🏿♀️
All the best dear!
Sis I can relate to your feelings about friends. There is nothing wrong about you. People now invest their time in relationships that only benefits THEM . I’m subscribing! you have a new friend here in Canada 🇨🇦 let’s be friends i’m 39 years old.
Hey Lindsay, thanks for being a friend and for your kind comment. Happy New Year! 😊🫶🏾
We have similar stories! Your story really resonates with me. Good to know there are people I can relate with. I’m forty this year and I’d rather not have friends than have fake people around, although I’m hopeful for a good friend to do life with sometime in the future🤞🏾
Me too. AMEN 🙏
That’s exactly where I am too, especially after letting my mind off with this video. All the best dear! 🫶🏾🫶🏾
There is nothing wrong with you dear. When pple are not in the same season as you are, they tend to pull away, bse you might be mirroring what they are lacking in themselves.
You should NEVER invest in your workmates as best friends. It's actually best that your workmates don't have much info abt your private life.
You can later make them your besties if you or they are not working in the same work place.
When pple choose to go, LET THEM!! - Mel Robbins
This is wonderful! 🥰 I appreciate your encouragement. I do sometimes get the sense of “mirroring”. I think you can just tell when someone else wishes they had what you have. Oh well, we can’t have everything in life so I’ll enjoy what I have.
Thank you so much for your powerful comment. I wish you all the best!
I’m about 54 and the same, I have 2 good friends one close one far away. Pray about having real friends, you won’t have many, real friends are like having a loving spouse one or two in your lifetime so pray for genuine friendships because people are difficult today for many reasons and when you have a genuine heart many today see it as a weakness rather than something to be treasured.
That’s so true! People don’t want the “real” you.
THIS IS ME AT 33. i grew up with a family and 5 siblings but im an introvert. lived in 3 countries, 6 cities, was born in an other, went to 6 different schools. im from a french country but had my entire teens in a english country. so im different to ppl in my country and even french foreigners in my country. and english speakers are rare. i also dont know how to keep in touch cause they arent part of my everyday life. and the ppl ive met never really cared about what i cared about. i had to be the extroverted side of me. ppl never appreciate my introverted side.
I feel you! People like us don’t need too many people around us. A few good ones is all that’s necessary.
It takes a lot of courage to be this open, I’m in the same boat as you. But you seem intelligent and kind, anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
Thank you, I appreciate your comment 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾
This is so me, grew up in nigeria in a strict household with 2 brothers. I never had female friends and no one came over to my house so I had to learn to befriend my siblings and my self. I’m 25 now and I still struggle with letting people in and when i let them in I struggle with maintaining the friendship cause I’m so used to being by myself. I don’t even date cause I don’t have the energy to sustain it.
I am still hopeful one day I’ll meet a group or just 1 girl that gets me.
Thanks for sharing, I feel like we share a similar story. You are not alone.
Thank you for sharing. I believe being in your 20s, is the best time for you to discover yourself fully. Take your time but don’t completely forfeit outside connections as they’re also important. One day, you’ll attract the right person who’ll fill that spot just right. I did in my husband ☺️
So am not abnormal ....
I'm also 41, single, also an introvert. It's hard, I work go to the gym and home. I find it hard to approach people. I've been trying on apps.
Hey, how about joining a group activity? Or volunteering? That could bring you in contact with others without necessarily having to make the first contact. In my case, I had to push myself to be the first to say hi to people. The first time was extremely difficult but now, depending on my mood, I can work up the mental courage to say hi in group activities.
How about all we friendless people come together and create our own community. We could call it the friendless community.❤❤❤😊
😊good idea😊
I'm 41 too, I feel the same way but i don't care because I always have fun 😂
That’s great. I’m glad to hear that. I do have fun too but sometimes I just wonder, you know.
Where do you live@@InspiredbyIsabella
You’re definitely not alone. I am 41F, Married- significant age gap, 3 children, unfavorable early life experiences, quiet, dry ass morbid ass sense of humor, fiercely private. I find it challenging to maintain the consistency in communication that builds relationships up. Working on it, falling on my face lots. I attend workshops and webinars around my interests and that’s had the best outcome so far in terms of casual relationships. Finding friends in adulthood has its own challenges and I don’t know that SM has made it any easier. First time watching and I am grateful for your sharing, it’s appreciated. New sub ❤.
Hey Alex! I could feel that dry humor from how you write 😊 Quite refreshing. One of the things I appreciate in people is that kind of rawness.
You’re right though, as we get older, it gets harder to tolerate others into our space. Having that “distant” group relationship is probably the best.
Thank you for subscribing! Also appreciated here. 🫶🏾
Do you also have a channel?
I’m 35 years, single and no friends😢
So sorry to that darling. Stay strong and practice self-love until someone worthy of you comes along. Do activities you enjoy and try joining communities that have similar interests as you. I truly wish you all the happiness you deserve 🫶🏾
Im 35 too except the single part. Have you tried joining a social group with similar interests? Bookclub? Hobby Club? Try joining a social group that meets strictly online or via video call if you have social anxiety. If not, dont push yourself. Enjoy you and use the alone time to discover what makes you happy, goals, vacation, etc… 😊
@ I never join non ( do have any recommendations of the groups?). Girl I need this 🙈I
think I’m too much on my head and shy .. I tried to travel several time but I end up spending time on my room 😀..
Hey, try COUCHSURFING to meet people when you travel. My suggestion to meet people at home is first think about something you enjoy, say, dancing, baking or cycling and then search for groups within your area. Facebook is a good place to find such groups actually.
@@InspiredbyIsabella thank you . I will do that 😊
I don't know why the algorithm put your video in my recommendations but I'm so glad it did. I'm also a 41 year old introvert, and in the same position. I'm at peace with that but sometimes I want to be in deeper friendships with people besides my husband. I have some longtime friends but life and distance get in the way. I have lupus and when I got diagnosed 15 years ago, people I thought were friends faded away.
I seem to attract people who are going through life changes or are struggling in some way and I become more of an auntie/mentor figure rather than an actual friend. Interactions focus on their problems and I end up being a therapist. That drains my energy and I end up with no outlet for myself. To protect my energy I've put my guard up, which can repel people, and end up largely alone.
Obviously there's so much more to my story, but listening to yours felt like a remix of my own. While I'm happy in my life as it is, I'd love to 'belong' somewhere or have a few close friends instead of playing therapist. Thank you so much for sharing; it's comforting to know that others are in similar situations -- happy as is, but welcome that fellowship via strong/close friendship.
Video promotion
Hey! I totally get you. You’ve added another component that happens to me too- the auntie therapist 😊. It definitely would be great to “belong” somewhere, but not necessarily in a friendship. I’m signing up for volunteering this year. See if I like it, if not, I’ll try something else. This UA-cam channel is also a means for me to seek community. How about you? Are you trying anything to find a community?
Btw, i’m glad the algorithm led you here 😊🫶🏾
@@InspiredbyIsabella I'm getting into volunteering this year as well, and hopefully into some additional activities like dance classes (I danced for 25+ years and miss it). Here's hoping for a great year for you, your channel, and all of us in your audience! 😊😊
LOVE your HONESTY - I think many folks feel the same as you do - things did change a lot after COVID - I have observed this. I just liked and subscribed - your SINCERITY is what did it - lol!
Thanks! I equally appreciate your candidness. You’re my kind of person 😊🙌🏾
Lovely to meet you on UA-cam Isabella🥰 A lot of your history resonates.
If I may, I'll share 3 things that help me no end.
The overarching one is a biblical worldview which means
1) The comfort and assurance that I am loved by the Creator despite my flaws which He knows so well, and I can seek clarity and wisdom from Him to walk in my purpose each day.
2) an understanding of the human condition as flawed and marred by sin and therefore managing my expectations accordingly.
3)seeking a like-minded fellowship or church home and connecting and serving with souls whose values align.
Hope this is helpful in some way🙏🏾
+1
Thank you so much. I do pray for other things but never really for friendships. I’ll put that into my meditations from now on. Thanks! 🙏🏾
Wishing you a beautiful, blessed Christmas 🙏🏾🥰
Jesus said:
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28
Wish you a wonderful Christmas too 🙏🏾
I'm 38 and have mostly maintained my friends from childhood through various levels of education. The level of intimacy varies depending on where we are geographically and spiritually but they are always there somewhere and I thank God for that. Sometimes it takes just a casual "how are you doing" to rekindle old friendships or make new ones. I just moved to a new country and can relate to this.
Also if I may add I feel beign HSP is a contributing factor and being safe around people is daunting.
Hey sweetie, thank you for your video. Allow yourself to be loved by strangers baby. Your friends are coming your way. I love you and keep us updated baby !
I am 29 & single, and I can relate ❤ I love how you have a balanced perspective of the “why”. Also happy for you that, at least, you have my our own family - husband and kid.
Personally, I have a few friends but no meaningful friendships. So it’s pretty much the same thing. Relocating from Nigeria to the US also affected me a bit, but maybe one day we’ll find our community or maybe not. Regardless, I’m just a girl living her life 🥹
Also I hope you eventually message your old friend. If for nothing else, to relieve yourself of the “what if”.
What an insightful comment! I’m glad you were able to relate and that you understand how it feels to both be ok being your own company while not totally closing up to the prospect of connecting with people. I really hope you’ll find your own community or that one person who will be a good companion to you ☺️🥰
A few people have said so too. I’ll message her tonight! 😅 Maybe I’ll make a video of what happens after…
@@InspiredbyIsabella that's so sweet, thank you!
Yes to that. I'll be looking forward to seeing that video 😆
You"re 41 and looks 28. Youthfulness is your real friend.
Thanks for your kind comment 😊😊
Jesus is your friend, Mathew 11:28-30! God bless you sweet lady, 🙏! 🤍🤍🤍
I'm an introvert too. It's never really been a barrier to me making friends (at all levels, whether in childhood or adulthood), but it's been an issue for others, I believe, in them remaining my friends. I say 'them' b/c if someone has me as a friend-- and they're good people to be around-- they'll have me as a friend for life, but so many people don't seem to view friendship that way. It's a shame. I will say though, being an introvert has at times had me questioning myself, how I'm coming across to others. I realize now that I was normal and didn't have to be an extrovert to be normal.
I remember as a kid I quickly made a friend who ended up moving away, so things like that definitely play a part and it uses so much energy as an introvert to the point where you try to find the energy to authentically do that all over again. 🤡 When I was in grad school, I made a cool small group of friends, but had a feeling that it would be temporary, and the vast majority were. Only one person from that group I'd call a friend right now, but we don't talk much at all. LOL (?): It's like, even when I do have friends, the friendships aren't really close until we happen to randomly talk and the interaction is the same each time we do. There was one other friend from that group I was really close to who years after (just a couple years ago) didn't invite me to her wedding; yet, she still has the audacity to react & comment on my social media posts like she did nothing wrong or odd at best.
I say all this to say-- like someone else has-- there's nothing wrong with you. If someone is truly your friend, then they should accept you, blunt-talking and all, and if something bothers them, then they owe you the decency and respect to tell you (especially after a long friendship).
Thank you so much for getting me so well. It’s comforting to know there are others out there similar to me. All the best! 🫶🏾🫶🏾
People will come and go out of your life. Do not worry about what’s going to happen when you get old. You can always meet new people. People change. People move on. That’s normal. Focus on being the friend you would like to have and the right friends will come to you.
100percent agreed🎉
There's nothing wrong with you, there's many of us like you. Navigating friendships as we get older is hard.
Anyway, coffee sometime in the next few weeks?
Im visiting 🇲🇹 tomorrow from 🇿🇦.
Hey, hey! Glad to find someone else who relates. Would definitely have loved to grab that coffee but I’m spending Christmas with my husband’s family in Sicily 🙂. How long will you be in Malta for??
Hey I totally relate. Just celebrated my birthday alone and complete. I was ok eating out surrounded by big groups of “ friends” the restaurant bought my cake out to me and everyone sang happy birthday. I paid for it n it was nice n fulfilling enough. I don’t miss the burden of the friends thing. The closer I got to knowing my self, healing and cutting off toxic family I found peace n can feel energies more clearly now which sadly the negative reeking off of people I hardly know but have dealt with professionally. I don’t need to get close or long for friends as I’ve been a real one all my life n only experience envy jealousy n boundaries crossing. Being alone is my protection. I come here for videos when I need interaction and may start seeing a therapist but I do not want “ friends” . I like my own company too much now nature animals.
Hi! I get you. The more comments like yours I get, the more I realize that I’m doing well not having all those people around me. Thanks for reminding me of that!
Happy Birthday btw. Stay blessed! 😊🫶🏾
I came to this video because it hits home for me. I’ve been hurt too by fake friends. I would love to link to anyone who’s interested in talking. I’m in Atlanta but it doesn’t matter if someone is not here also.
🫶🏾🫶🏾
Hey, I'm 52, never had friends not one, I think when I was a teenager I thought they were my friends but they Became users, I've been married for 29 years and because of those experiences I didn't try I just grew my own family it gets lonely though, I would like to talk on the phone , go shopping, get my nails done away from my family. I'm from Newyork but live in Richmond Virginia now would love to meet friends.
God bless you dear Sister, I salute you for your honesty, courage and openness. Your more powerful than you think. You've taken action about something you wish to address and change. Most people don't take action so they are unable to manifest the things that they desire. Life circumstances often dictate our relationship outcomes with others. The lack of friendships is no reflection of who you are or your value to the Universe. You are a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered. You are a blessing from God and people will soon begin to see you, welcome you and love you for the beautiful Soul that you are. May God bless you and send you a forever soul tribe.
You are amazing. And there is nothing wrong with you. You are loved and love yourself and accept who you are and that you are enough. And if people do not wanne be with you, they are probably not the right people in uour life. There loss! I hope you get what your looking for
Such beautiful words of encouragement can only come from a loving soul. Thank you so much!
The few friendships I've made as an adult always fizzled out because I eventually had to become the one who was always reaching out trying to maintain the connection. It's very frustrating. I'm lucky I have a few childhood friends that I keep in touch with, otherwise I'd be feeling lonely.
What works for me are virtual friendships. So I would suggest virtual communities ✨
I met a few people online but nothing deep. Thanks for your suggestion
like which one ?
@@naturenathan-v9fsame thing I was thinking, does anyone know any?
I completely understand.. I’m a very quiet person in my personal life.. I also come off as standoff which make it hard to people to gravitate towards me.. I’m very successful and that makes it even harder.. I’m in a new state in the USA and I’m 45 years old with no friends
I get you. The more successful you appear, the more people stay away. I think it’s an issue of comparison.
Hope you’re doing well though.
Your not alone I have no friends and I’m okay (sometimes) find a passion you love or a hobby you want to do more and there is where you find like minded people. You have to have common interest with your friends or they will fade away over time.
True words. I’ve got a number of hobbies and i’m truly happy. Thanks!
You speak so well- I pray that the right friends locate you ❤❤
Amen! Thank you 😊
Same here girl! You are not alone!😢
I’m beginning to find that out more and more. Thanks! 😃
You are never alone🫶🏼I understand sister I’ve been where you are. I am now 51 finally realize my inner strength and have made life beautiful I believe in you
I’m 39 and do have friends. I’m also an introvert who’s awkward and healing from trauma. People make things so hard when it’s not. Just tell the truth instead of leading people on
So right! That’s what I just don’t get in others!
I'm the same way. 37 and no friends. I tend to be misunderstood alot despite being quiet and introverted. Right now I'm currently being misunderstood by my own biological sisters who I at one point considered my friends. Now two of the three sisters are being passive aggressive, gossiping about me and acting fake and distant around me. Despite not doing anything particularly. And they didn't even care enough to let me know their issues with me. I love them and would be open to work things out if I knew what the issue is. Instead everyone stays in their own clique.
It sometimes boils doing to envy. Perhaps something’s going better for you than for them.
I’m 41 and really relate to your childhood experience of moving home and schools so often you couldn’t retain long term friendships. I only have a one or two real friends but I don’t see them often, but I’ve known them over 20 years and consider them sisters. Not made any close friends like that again. I am a hermit and don’t go out much, so not much opportunity to meet people now. But I don’t get lonely as I’m used to it (I was an only child until 11). But I have recently thought I need to make more effort to stay in touch with people. It’s me. I’m the one who never reached out, including to family. Even though I enjoy my own company I think I’d be a better person if I made more time for others. I think I should find a club to join and force myself into a social life with like minded people. I don’t have kids and see so many single mothers around I think it would be nice to find a female I can be emotional support to, and help, because I know from seeing my own mother go through it, it’s hard.
Yeah, we’re very similar. I’d suggest to not overthink it and just join an activity club but without any specific expectations, see how it goes. I often “force” myself to reach out to family members by setting a reminder. That helps 😊. All the best dear!
@ if I was a superhero I’d be The Overthinker 😂 you are right, I definitely should not think too hard about it and just catapult myself into some kind of community event and overcome the urges to leave which I’ll be fighting throughout. I need to discipline myself, can’t go on just thinking about myself all the time. I’m scared I’ll turn into a narcissist. Having been hurt and betrayed quite badly in life I’ve built up a significant wall that might take some time to dismantle, or at least lower the wall a bit. I should at least put a window or door in the wall this year 😂
I have a lot of acquaintances. I know a lot of people but our values morals, what makes a good friendship dont align with everyone else. I moved a lot as well and books were my friends.
I feel you. Having similar values is also very important
Continue loving on your family and Yourself. I have had friends since elementary but over the years all that changed for different reasons. I realized that I do not have to look for associates, it will just happen. And through associates, you will meet friends, but this time around these friendships can be healthy from wisdom you have from passed experiences you learned from. I too believe this.
Hmmm. I like your line of thought. I’m just gonna let things happen. Thanks 😊
Am in my 50's and very lonely. I have trust issues, not married but a single mom of 19 year old son. In my 20s-30s i had a lot of friends, we would hang out, go clubbing, parties etc. Then everyone moved on, got married and got kids and we kind of lost touch. I don't like making friends in my workplace as i have been betrayed, as i disclosed very personal issues which became gossip and was used against me. Its Christmas am alone in the house but somehow i find peace, but i always think should something happen to me, will there be anyone who will show up in my funeral other than my family who i live very far from as am in another country? I will read comments
Hey Mimi, I understand how you feel. I do think this way sometimes but I’m content knowing that only those who truly knew me and loved me would be there at my funeral. Perhaps try doing activities where you can interact with others and maybe leave an impact. Like volunteering or teaching something.
I wish you all the best and hope you can find someone or a group to help ease the loneliness.
I’ll be going live soon to have a chat and meet up session. Hope to see you there ☺️🫶🏾
Your story looks a lot like mine. I'm a Nigerian myself and my dad was a soldier, so, we were constantly being transfered from one state to the other and that crippled my ability to make friends and i don't even understand any Nigerian language to make matter worse. Now I am 36 with no friends and a romantic partner and i was diagnosed with social anxiety. So i can understand what it means to go through all of this.
I am same boat, the bluntness part I think people cant relate with........ and If I were to be quiet I am perceived as stuck up. I dont now the answer but its not ideal. I am pretty sure now I have detachment disorder. At this point I almost feel as if I started to self sabotage. I am almost givivng up but I am certain it is to do with my upbringing, but now I should try to fix it.
Hey you, hang in there and be strong for yourself. It’s alright to be sensitive but you still have to let a few people in. Just try getting to know them first on a lighter tone. Take as long as you need and then open up little by little. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll still be fine. I wish you all the best!
You are unapologetically you and sometimes that doesn’t align with others. I had a huge friend group. Once I realized that the friendships were one sided, those friendship la dwindled away and now I have none. I’m okay with being alone however do sometimes miss the togetherness of getting together with friends. I think when I grew, the relationships were no longer part of my path. I know I did everything with love and kindness. I accepted that I was placed in their lives to help them heal. I’m a person of service and knowing that has helped me a lot to deal with the l moments of loneliness that show up from time to time. I will you the strongest friendships that will find their way to you! Ones that you need and they need!
Thank you so much and for sharing your story. We’re stronger for being able to stay true to ourselves and to be our own strengths. All the best at to you!
Same here. I really feel you.. we are same age and my husband is also older than I am a bit.. I am friendly to people, get invited for few functions. My issue is that I'm not a regular woman, not interested in what many women are in interested in, i have a very independent mind but I ache knowing I have no close friend. It probably has to do with the way I was raised too... had no social life perse and was always told no especially going for functions. God help us..lol. I get scared my kids would end up like my husband and I. I am open to friendship, I am also Nigerian not that it matters :). we could start with a distant group . You should have reached out to your friend the 6 year one. At this point I have added a good friend to my prayer list . trust God to lead me to one.
I totally get you! Not being the normal idea of most women makes us appear either “lofty” or weird to other women. But I still consider it a positive attribute.
Your kids will find their own way 😊 so don’t worry about that.
I’m planning a live event here on UA-cam soon, hope you’ll join 😊 just to chat and have a sip while talking about interests. No pressures.
Cheers! And have a wonderful end of year!
Im 43 no kids and no friends. I love the fact that I dont have to worry about being used for only emotional nor financial support. I believe I was meant to be this way, as I pick up other peoples energy and it becomes overwhelming at times almost as if Im being smothered.
My only regret in life is that I didnt embrace this sooner. I spent my 20s and early 30s making myself entertain others (Good/Bad/Ugly) situations out of FEAR of the others perception of me not having friends. When the Truth was and is I Like, Love and can truly ever only trust ME. Back then I was expecting to get me from others I was ALWAYS let down.
I get you. One can never truly trust others. I’m grateful for my husband. He’s the exception (so far 😂)
I also had a childhood friend cut me off randomly. Felt like a complete blindside and two years later, I am still trying not to think about it. Like you, I can be described as a blunt person. Through introspection (and therapy), I realized I have a “fixer” mentality and would be friends with people I subconsciously believed I could fix. This resulted in me befriending people with deep emotional issues. So in hindsight, it makes sense that the friend who also struggled with confrontation & had other issues with communication would end her friendship with me because of certain grievances without actually tell me what the issues were to see if we could work through it. Those type of people have problems that having nothing to do with us, but it’s easier for them to blame us than heal their issues. It still hurts but I take accountability for befriending her in the first place.
Wow, I needed to see this. Your personality reflects some of mine. And you’re right. It’s time for us to “forgive” ourselves for getting into such relationships in the first place. I wish you all the best dear!
Hey Isabella,
I’m so glad I came across your video-it really hit home. At 29, I feel like I’ve lost all my friends, but this year, God opened my eyes to see they weren’t true friends. Letting go was hard and left me feeling lonely, but I trust He’ll bring the right people into my life.
Your video reminded me I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing-it truly encouraged me. 😊
I’m so glad you feel that way. You’ll find that it’s better without fair weather friends. Eventually, you’ll find someone to build a deep connection with. I wish you all the best!
I'm 40 and my hubby is 23. I had to cut off my toxic girlfriends because I don't have time for childish games. I am growing and learning from my mistakes by taking care of my son as a single parent. I got married this year to him.
You’re married to a kid💀
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As a soon to be 33 year old I’m an introvert ive been traumatised by bad friendships n relationships but I’ve managed to maintain a good friendship with 2 of my childhood friends and I’m unraveling from a toxic marriage so they’ve been very impactful in helping me navigate being single again 😊I’m dating again it’s not easy embracing someone new when ur used to being on your own lol when we cancel plans sometimes it makes me the happiest person 😂😂 im even told it seems like i get over break ups easily because I enjoy my alone time so much 👀👀it’s weird loving your own space immensely but also craving companionship occasionally. I am challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone
Hey girllll.. we have a lot in common and I still don’t have any friends, it’s important to have at least one trusted person to call a friend that you can genuinely open up2 and the love and care will genuinely be reciprocated. Especially for your mental health. I’m open to being friends. ❤
Maybe we should start our mini virtual friendship community. Who knows,
So true!
I’m planning on going live soon. Perhaps we could chat up there ☺️
I would certainly join this community. Please do include me.
I'm 40 and exactly the same. I am rubbish at communicating, but the few friends I have understand i need a very low maintenance friendships. Those ones where we can go without speaking for weeks but then when we do speak, it's like no time has past. I hate small talk, I love when we speak there is so much too talk about we can speak for hours but that's just me. I would love a friendship where we can get together a group of just as girls, travel etc. But I know I wouldn't be able to keep up the pressure of maintaining those friendships because they require alot of maintenance. I'm also a Big texter, I hate talking on the phone, not sure why that is, maybe a childhood thing but there you go. It's definitely a lonely life but I know me well enough to know, I couldn't handle more maintenance required for deeper friendships with people.
It happened to me many times, even with relatives, but I have lectured them about compassion as Jesus teaches us.
An Important lesson people need to learn.
Glad i found your channel, im in a simliar situation. Just turned 47 and have been dealing with failed friendships all my life. I've been cut off without notice, too. was sad, but as I got older, I learned to love myself. I know I haven't done anything wrong & at times they can be secretly jealous of you. Look at it like this..ppl are in your life for a season. Real friends are rare, but ask God 2 send you a good friend. It's ok to be solo, and at least you don't have to worry about unnecessary drama. You'll know when you have a true friend.
I also have no friends and struggle with associating with people so I understand you.
Sending you hugs 🤗
Same here
I'm 51 my lovely & have no friends... Any friends I have had just used me (it was very distressing & knocked my confidence totally)
I live in Blackpool England UK 💚🧚🏼♂️💯💎
You’re not alone being alone 🫂 cheers!
I agree with you ❤
No one grows in isolation. One can only grow in community
My thoughts too
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@@InspiredbyIsabella Just subbed you and waiting 🤗🤍Let’s grow together ☮️🤗
You sound very self aware and I think this is a great start to finding the right people in your life . I’m sure there other people that are looking for friends that are introverted by nature who want to form close bonds . Have you prayed about this ? Maybe this could make all the difference because you seem like a lovely person who is slowly attracting what you want in your life ❤
I’m 48 and I completely agree I am feeling the same way
Nice to know other people are similar to me ☺️. All the best!
Beloved, There's a saying, "Friends are for a reason and a season." They come and go, same as family. When we are "off" season, we need to self care and grow. During off, we can look to interests, hobbies, and make plans. You have found a niche, and if you look around, you'll see you're not alone. Although you may feel lonely, that's a human condition. You need some mantras to remind yourself, "I am enough." And then continue to build on that. If you build a proper chicken coop, the proper chicken will come. Enjoy the friend you got, your husband, because so many can't say. Amen, enjoy the journey 🙏🏾 walk 👍🏽 good ❤
Your video really resonated with me. UA-cams algorithms a little too knowing.
Have you looked into your attachment style? It can really help.
Thank you for sharing ❤️
Hey, thanks! I know exactly what you mean with the UA-cam algorithm, that’s how I came to make this video even 😃
I did look it up and I would say that I. My 20s, I had an anxious attachment style. But now it’s secure because of my immediate family security hence I don’t feel the need to pretend in order to keep a friendship. Do you understand what I mean?
@InspiredbyIsabella I think so. You can be your authentic self now, not people pleasing or pretending to be someone you are not to please others? I went from anxious preoccupied to dismissive avoidance to fearful aviodant. I'm stuck now. I have ptsd though so a lot of how I am now is trauma. I'm glad you've found your way.
That algorithm is scarily accurate at times. 😅