Hearing Parents Perspective on raising a Deaf Child [CC]
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- Опубліковано 28 сер 2024
- Looking back my mom is finally able to admit that learning ASL should have been a priority, but if we are being honest that's not what the doctors encouraged AT ALL.
It took a lot of convincing, but we are finally at a healthy place and I wanted to share my journey with you.
~Find me on Social Media! ~
Instagram: @chrissymarshall_
TikTok: @chrissymarshall_
An exact reason for why we hearing parents need to be introduced to Deaf people from the first moment.
It kinda makes me mad that both doctors working with deaf people and people who have deaf people in their lives don’t encourage/learn signing. That’s like growing up in a country without learning the local language. It’s inhibiting and makes life much harder.
The stat is now 92% of deaf children are born to hearing parents. Videos like yours are SO important for us hearing parents to see. I hope your mom grows more confident in signing and realizes ASL is not a crutch for deaf but a right to language in your community. Yay for her completing classes ❤️ love this video!
megajoe92012 A crutch is a Necessary piece to obtain independence and freedom. That term is ableist bc it’s acting as if a crutch or wheelchair or cane or ASL or communication device or stimming or white cane or service animal or pain meds or a billion other Necessary things are unnecessary and unneeded and people shouldn’t use them when all of those things are 100% necessary.
@@Cbbartelt I see what you are getting at but the term is saying they are using the crutch to lean on when they could just walk without it. Like "I'm not your crutch" or stop using that as your crutch, I know you can do it without that". It's kind of a silly figure of speech but yea, that's how it's usually used. I suppose it would make more sense if people said "unnecessary crutch" but yea what the op is getting at is a totally valid point.
My parents are hearing. I’m Deaf. My brother believes that I’m Hard of Hearing. That’s not my identity. I’m happy and know who I am. My parents don’t use sign language cuz my mother believes that sign language would lose my read lips and my speech. I had a hard time understanding my mother’s read lips all my life. She thinks that I wasn’t listening to her but it was not true. I understand my father’s read lips pretty well. He said he’s shy to learn it. lol my mother told my family not to sign language only read lips. When I was little young. I had speech therapy at school then after school. My mother took me to another speech therapy at somewhere.everyday. My mother and I don’t get along. My father and I get along really well.i still love my mother but she never apologize and didn’t realize for what she did to me after she passed away. I accepted it and move on. I forgave her. My parents was divorced and my father is trying to understand the Deaf culture. He is now understand better. I love him so much. My sister knows about Deaf culture cuz she took ASL class. My brother knows finger spelling that’s it. I’m still very happy with my Deaf life. I love myself! God has a reason for me! 😊
Hope your doing good love ♡♡
Your so strong! Sorry about your mother :( but god gives us challenges to teach us and educate us about how others can be and more. Take care
@@sams_animations398 Thank you 😊
@@sams_animations398 thank you again 👍🏻😊
@@tiggerlady2352 your welcome!
She seems like a great and supporting parent but I don't understand the reluctance to learn sign.
Why would you not jump at the chance to communicate better with you family?
I was putting off learning ASL because I don't personally know anyone who uses it/is deaf but just started because it's already too late when you meet someone who is deaf.
Every one should at least know the basics in ASL I think because you'll never know when it will come in handy.
It makes me so sad to hear that they didn’t try sooner to communicate with their child
This is without a doubt, the norm that parents are reluctant to learn sign because that’s the “easy” way for kids and they should be able to utilize their speech and more “hearing” but look, I’m not shaming anyone’s parents whatsoever because I grew up deaf and know what that was like. My parents didn’t feel the need to learn sign and didn’t want me to lose speech which I think the speech was the way to go but learning sign would have opened more doors for me. It would have given me the opportunity to meet more deaf individuals and feel like I fit in somewhere. Let’s be real, reluctance to sign for your child doesn’t do anything but close more doors for them in the future, I could have used interpreters in school the entire way through instead of half assed. It’s so isolating when parents don’t want to be able to communicate with their children thinking she knows lip reading but lip reading is only as good as the person you’re looking at, not the rest of the group you’re sitting with. For anyone who is curious whether they should or not, don’t question that, just do it, you’re not better for forcing your child to speak in a hearing world, and then refusing to speak the deaf language. Speaking isn’t going to protect them from being teased in school. Kids make fun of absolutely everything that they can’t rationalize on their own so denying them another way to communicate that’s easier doesn’t protect them and making them fit in better, at all. It only further isolates their social circle and will never be fully accepted into either hearing world or the deaf world. But it allows us to communicate and feel like there’s a choice for us in terms of progressive hearing loss. Just my opinion.
As a hearing person I realise I don't really have the right to comment, BUT I'M GOING TO ANYWAY! I'm autistic and disabled (I understand and accept deafness isn't considered by most deaf people to be a disability) and I recognise a lot of autistic therapies are not to benefit autistic people at all they're to benefit the neurotypical people they engage with.
Similarly I think forcing deaf people to NOT learn to sign, while speech and lipreading can be beneficial in a hearing world for a deaf person- these things widely benefit hearing people who are unable to sign. We should be making hearing people learn to sign, not forcing deaf people to learn how to better communicate hearing people.
If signing helps deaf people find communities and enables them to communicate with others and each other more easily than speech and lip reading we should not prevent them from learning to do so!
@@ACWells13 Well said, I love how you worded that. I think all people with disabilities are expected to adapt in the neurotypical, able bodied, hearing world and are told to act normal, behave like you belong here and if you don’t, don’t come crying to me. That attitude is why everyone still struggles to have the same rights as most ppl get to enjoy. It’s the theme of the day, that those who don’t have struggles, have blinders on and don’t have the patience to be accepting of everyone regardless of differences. I’ve been yelled at by many ppl over the years, simply because I didn’t respond to them while standing in a lineup and they become super rude and impatient and the famous phrase that they’ll yell is,”What are you deaf?!” I often pushback on that with, “Actually I am!”, with a pride filled attitude to spice things up haha.
My favourite is, “Please speak up, I’m deaf and I can’t hear you”, and when they start raising their voice to speak super loud I’ll say, “Not that loud, I’m not that deaf!” line cuz it’s my favourite thing ever. Their faces are priceless, but again it’s not my job to make everyone around me comfortable with my hearing loss. It’s my job to let them know I am struggling and ask them for patience.
Given todays climate with Covid, masks have been such a nightmare and I feel almost completely isolated now that my lip reading option has been taken away. No, I’m not going to take my mask off for anyone and so I am relying on the ppl in my circle to help me through those moments. I hate having to rely on others for my problem, but it’s the only option I have.
For anyone who’s read this far, who have children that are deaf/hoh, you need to learn very quickly that becoming embarrassed by something they can’t control, is only happening because they wish they were normal. However I view being deaf as no different than needing glasses. One of your senses are impaired and that’s it. Learning sign language is probably the coolest thing on the planet to watch, especially when they’re interpreting a song. It’s beautiful and breathtaking, use music to teach them a passion they can adopt.
Having a disability is amazing, because it gives ppl the A-bility to see the world differently and that’s a beautiful thing.
Two years later, but I really resonated with your comment. I was deaf nearly all the time until age four-five. My first year of preschool was with ASL lessons, but after many many surgeries I became able to hear enough that I was put in the neighborhood public school rather than the deaf school out of town. Honestly if I had grown up deaf I don't see my family learning how to sign. They never learned while I was little so I wouldn't see that changing.
I had a stressful childhood and the hearing part of it sucked: the TV was always on loud, chaos all the time, etc. I flew the nest as fast as I could. I've always considered ASL a beautiful language and wanted to circle back around to it and learn someday. When I see people signing my brain still gives that flicker of recognition like "I know that, don't I?" Anyway, thanks for telling your story and good luck on your path in life.
I am 29 years old. I started losing my hearing two years ago. Its been a journey. Lots of people think I am faking because I speak well. I try to remind them that I speak well because I only recently lost my hearing and before was able to hear well enough to speak. I think that your journey is inspiring. I also have loved ones who are reluctant to sign. I hope your family keeps up the good work! I look forward to seeing more of your journey.
Yeah I’ve had the same thing told to me regarding my speech: “You speak SO well!” At the time I took it as a compliment but now I just feel like, if I’d spoken less well, maybe I would have received more help instead of being made to feel like it was my fault I didn’t do well in school. That I just wasn’t trying hard enough or something.
Yes I feel the same.
Yeah my son is having the same issue but we're trying to do everything possible to help him. Actually this is my son's channel which is just getting started but we will be teaching asl, and sharing all info on my non profit organization for deaf/hearing impaired children from speech therapy and free asl classes to medical expenses paid when insurance will not. Please check it out and subscribe. It's a family friendly channel for all especially hearing impaired or disabled children. We are just getting started but will be posting everything promised and more.
Ugh that's so frustrating for you. For a while my mother in law didn't believe that our daughter was deaf. Especially because she is very advanced, and at 2 years old she could say things like "ow" and "na-na" and "ya-ya". She now believes that she's deaf, especially because we have another child who's deaf (our son), but I don't think she believes she's as deaf as she really is😟 I would love it if hearing people could be more aware of this, but I feel like most deaf people avoid hearing people. Probably in response to the rude hearing people they've met that never included them and/or shoved them away. I never met a deaf person all of my life until I met our daughter, but I know you're all out there lol. Show yourselves😜
It’s so true... there’s no guidebook for hearing parents of deaf children. My mom had told me of her discovery progress with my deafness. My mom’s story was different. It was in the 80s and after my mom found out I was profoundly deaf, she admitted she did check out an oral school. There, she met with a lady who gave her a tour of school then they sat in her office. The lady said that it was required by ADA law (mom said she didn’t look cheery) that she tells my mom all the options including sign language, deaf school, oral school, etc. My mom decided to buy SEE book (oh, I know! It wasn’t ASL 🤦♀️) but she taught herself SEE and taught me signs she learned. I grew up with my first language as SEE. I did learn speech therapy but hated hated it. Because of my lack of enthusiasm, I learned to speak certain words I can pronounce correctly. I can’t speak in sentences. My mom believed that she shouldn’t give me CI because she wanted to respect my body so I could decide for myself. I turned down CI offer at age 15. No regrets. I attended a preschool Deaf school short time then grew up attending mainstream school with interpreters in al my classes. I wish I went to deaf school because it would have been a great experience and help me be very fluent in ASL. I sign PSE. Oh, well!
I honestly would love to be fluent in PSE. I have low vision, and since my hearing loss was progressive from birth (mild-severe, to profound now), I learned to speak, was very oral, tried to hide my hearing loss, all that. I studied ASL in middle school and LOVED it. I took two semesters of ASL 1 and 2 in Uni, but sadly, forgot a ton of it. :( I really do need it now, and it's hard relearning it all, and it's slow, trying to learn together with your significant other, but I always really appreciate it when she does. :)
If they knew since you were a baby that you would be Deaf by middle school, why didn't they learn ASL sooner? Whether doctors encouraged it or not, I don't get it?
Not saying (or even implying) that they're bad parents, which some people believe about parents who don't learn it. But genuinely curious.
This is a really common thing that happens to D/deaf and HoH children; they often don't know about their condition or treatments so they don't really have a say in how they are treated. Most doctors push a medical model of disability which promotes audist and oralist ideas, being that if you're deaf you have to be "fixed" or should want to be fixed and that you want to learn how to speak so you can be a "normal" person. So these ideas are the only ones presented to Hearing parents and once a child does get hearing aids or an implant the parents view their deafness as, "fixed" and then stop trying to be accommodating to their child. As a Deaf person I remember having to teach myself sign and when I asked my parents if I could take ASL classes they told me no because I, "didn't need it"
So really Doctors paint deafness as a tragedy and something that needs to be fixed and they discourage parents from learning sign because they think it'll prevent the child from learning to speak
I often wonder that myself. So many hearing parents expect the deaf child to join their world rather than the parents to join the deaf world at least in part. Churches are a great place to integrate into the hearing world with good people. When my parents were told I was loosing my hearing at 2-3 years old they immediately started to learn asl along with my older brother and sister. That saved me from a lot of frustrations because we all just thought it was normal to share a “secret” language that most people didn’t understand. We were not integrated with any deaf people as I grew up. But as a young adult I started practicing asl again because I was loosing hearing again. If more parents would start and learn WITH their kids...it makes all forms of comms easier and better. Even families that don’t have anyone that is deaf can benefit from earlier understanding and comms if they sign with their babies.
My son is hard of hearing and it is really the audiologists and ENTs that dont help their Deaf and HOH patients. It's like it's more helping the parents to "fix" their child. Being deaf or HOH is not a bad thing or something to be fixed. It's just a variation in hearing. ASL should be immediately the focus. Hearing aids and Choclear Implants are tools that may or may not be wanted by the individual but that will not make the person a hearing person. The medical community needs to wake up and stop stunting families with communication with their children and schools need to have more ASL options for all
I have progressive hearing loss. I know doctors don't tell parents to learn it, rather focusing on pushing CIs. But if a doctor tells a parent their child has whatever, a parent does research. This question isn't even necessarily about Chrissy's parents. Basic research a deaf child's parent would find would promote ASL.
Glad to hear you enjoyed and excelled at speech therapy even though I’m a huge advocate for signing over speech therapy. Your speech is really clear! As fluent as your signing. That’s great that your mom is learning ASL no matter how long it took. Hope your cochlear implant is healing well too.🤟🏽
she doesn't have a CI, what you see there is a hearing aid :)
Gerlinde Schweiger if you follow her on social media, she (somewhat) recently posted about her CI procedure.
@@YOIMJACKIE I just saw in a more recent video, sorry!
It's so sad when hearing parents won't sign. Thanks for sharing this story
This is wonderful. I also have a fluctuating progressive hearing loss with mondinis and enlarged vestibular aqueducts. I have never met or heard of anyone else with it. It is very rare! Our stories are very similar and we certainly have a lot to thank our parents for! The work you are doing on UA-cam is allowing individuals who are deaf/hard of hearing to connect in what can be an isolating “hearing” world. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for this! I’m a hearing person. I’ve taken ASL1 and am signed up to take ASL2 starting next month. In ASL1, a book that was assigned for us to read is “Deaf Again” by Mark Drolsbaugh. I think it’s an ESSENTIAL read for all parents of Deaf and hard of hearing children. 💗 Or just anyone, really. It’s hilarious and such an interesting and eye-opening read! Really gives you the perspective of those mainstreamed Deaf students who really may be struggling, but are good at hiding it 😢
wow... this one hit close to home. tears in my eyes towards the end. thank you Chrissy and your mom for doing this. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your mom with your channel, thank you to your mom for being brave and coming on here too. 💙🌈
I am confused, why did your mom not stop everything and learn sign language the minute she learned that you would become completely deaf? I feel like your mother should be signing when she is communicating to you, am I wrong? Is she just relying on your ability to read lips? I hope she gains the confidence to communicate to you in ASL 100%. My daughter is 17, she has been in hearing aids since she was 4, her loss seems similar to yours, however we've never been able to get any kind of CT scans and we were told that her hearing would probably always stay at the level it was at diagnosis, and that hearing aids would be sufficient. Well last year her hearing took a big drop, and this year even more. Our doctors are telling us that it will probably not get worse, that it probably just happened because of puberty, but I'm not confident in them and I'm learning ASL anyways. I'm fully invested and our entire family is fully committed to learning sign, all of my high school kids are taking ASL. We LOVE it! It's actually so much fun learning it! I'll do anything for my daughter, I never want her to feel alone, or like her needs are not my top priority.
Good for you💪 I know right? She says "reading lips is exhausting for her", yet she continues to make her read her lips. I have a friend who's hard of hearing and relies on reading lips. I asked her if she'd like to learn sign but I think she's reluctant because she knows her family wouldn't bother to sign with her. It makes me feel a little angry that people think it's acceptable to leave it up to the deaf person to catch up with the hearing people. Both our children are deaf and by age 2 of our oldest, I was fluent is ASL. No pat on the back for me, it's just regular human decency.
@@AM-jn9cy Chrissy is obviously wearing a hearing aid and she is obviously getting what her mom is saying. They are communicating and that's the impt thing. Some are never able to become truly fluent in ASL. I'm deaf myself (late deafened) and still not really fluent. It does come in "handy" sometimes :)
I was wondering the same thing. Not saying she doesn't care, but if people learn to sign to communicate with their autistic kids, why not also deaf kids?!
9:21 the statistic is 90%. That number always stuck with me when I was going through deaf studies. Hard of hearing over here!
thank you for sharing your story. I am taking a psychology class for exceptional children right now in college to become a teacher. this week is about children that have hearing loss and their parents perspectives on raising a child with hearing loss. your video was a great source for me and I really enjoyed learning both of your perspectives and your story!!
Why didn't her parents learn sign language earlier?? Why the reluctance??
Because it's "difficult" and people are selfish
I'm not deaf but I feel so frustrated by parents who don't sign to their deaf kids. If I met one I'd have to refrain from slapping them in the face lol and I'm not even a violent person😅😂
A M omgosh same
A M I’ve seen that too with some of my DHH friends. It’s so sad and heartbreaking they don’t want to communicate with their child.
@@AM-jn9cy It's so ableist. So many people who don't have a disability don't see their privilege.
Yes, her speech is excellent! I would never know....
Does anyone else find it a little strange that Chrissy’s mom is talking about her in the third person this whole video? o_O Even though she’s right there and looking at her most of the time? I dunno, just struck me as odd.
Thank you for making this while I’m not dead I am learning bsl and researching for my presentation resit and these perspectives are so helpful! Hope your mum got the courage and confidence to learn sign! I think all sign languages are so beautiful
You have a wonderful mom, Chrissy. I’m sorry for any hardships, hassles or assholes you persevered through.
Sometimes it's hard to talk about the struggle that parents go through bringing a deaf child up. You both have had the courage to talk about your struggles on camera. This will help a lot of parents, who may be facing the same kind of struggles and looking for support and answers to their questions. It gives hope that life can be good even with hearing loss. Learning to sign is not easy, and I applaud you, mom, for learning. Without the hearing visiting the deaf community, I don't think they understand what they go through, also the bullying that children experience because they are seen to be different but, inside are just as loving and intelligent as a fully hearing person. Thank you both, Jim.
I'm genuinely curious as to why doctors don't encourage (or sometimes I've heard of them outright DIScouraging) parents to learn ASL?
If you've ever seen Ray w/ Jamie Foxx playing Ray Charles then you'll remember the scene when he's a child, just went blind, and is terrifyingly screaming for his mom. She almost runs to him to comfort and help him when she stops and is silent. She knows that she won't be around forever to coddle him. It's not that she wants to see him suffer. It's because she wants to see him build the confidence required to be successful in a world that couldn't give a shit about his being blind.
I hope that makes sense. I'm not the best at articulating what I want to say sometimes so I used a movie reference. 😁
“Because that’s what men do? They fix things”?! If my husband refused to learn sign language to communicate with our deaf child, I would divorce his ass. You don’t “fix” being deaf.
Couldn’t have said it better!
But in his mind a choclear implant *would* "fix" the deafness. Some people just don't know how to interact with people they don't understand. It's not a reason to get mad at them, you need to educate them.
Yes ! The one single biggest deal breaker for me in a relationship is, if you're not ready and willing to do everything you can to support your child's upbringing(that means ALL aspects of their lives), then I seriously don't want to be with you. HA's and CI's are optional tools and should be treated as optional tools, not a fix, deaf and hard of hearing is not a problem, it doesn't need fixing, people who view it as a problem are the problem.
@@kefler187 Yes, exactly! I don't understand why people have that toxic mindset of they need to "fix it."
@@The-Soothsayer Maybe they did try to educate him and he didn't listen. I don't know for sure if that's the case, but if you refuse to communicate with your deaf daughter, what does that tell them? That they're not important?
Glad to see how much her parents care, and that they are now learning for her.
Wow, i never knew there were kids who were signing and living in a family that didnt sign. I thought as soon as Chrissy would start signing, they would start signing too...
I thought my dad was hard to live with, and i dint even know what it feels like to not be able to communicate clearly, i cant imagine how 11th and 12th grade must have felt.
This made my heart happy ❤️ you two have a special bond
I like that Chrissy can talk using her voice as well as asl it’s cool
"Because that's what men do, they fix things" you can't find a more true statement. God forbid if he's an engineer too. It's tough not to want to make things better, but better is sometimes or many times subjective. But I feel like daughters teach men a lot about life.
On another note I'm shivering thinking what all that might cost in the US.
And on a positive note, love you being 🤟 nothing more rock than that.
Such a shame the mother doesn’t sign. For the child and for people watching the video. I cant watch anymore it makes me sad and I cant understand.
As a hearing mom I can’t understand why on earth ASL wasn’t the very first thing on her list when she realized you were having issues with hearing. My kids are all hearing now; but, my first child was slow to speak. After looking into it sign language was what we landed on to help her be able to communicate. Our second daughter had hearing damage from mastoiditis at 6 weeks old. We were looking up all the things we wanted to say to her during her emergency surgery so we could sign them as soon as she opened her eyes. Our third started signing at 6 months. Our fifth child has a bilateral cleft lip and palate that causes speech issues. Sign language is his primary form of communication. I cannot wrap my head around the idea of keeping the ability to clearly and precisely communicate away from your own child. I’m glad she’s learning now, and that you guys have a good relationship.
I agree with others that her parents should’ve started learning as soon as they found out she’d eventually be completely deaf. It might sound harsh but I’m even mad at my cousin and her family for not learning even though she only went deaf in ONE EAR. She randomly woke up like that when she was like 20.
The colors in your hair 😍
Your story is so like my Mother's and Niece. Same diagnosis, same time of hearing loss and experience in school. My Mother had to fight every step of the way for her. People and teachers said she could hear. They have no idea what it was like. I remember her being so exhausted when she came home from school. Thankfully they were able to connect with excellent people to help her. I really hope your Mother does write a book and it should be mandatory for people going into education.
Fantastic video. But why would your mom be reluctant to learn sign language ? It's the best way to understand the Deaf world, right ?
Ya, I would be scared to have that, too! Surgery near the brain is scary.
Amazing video, so wonderful to hear more of your life story! Moms are the best! Thank you for sharing!
Doctors told my mom i was "retarded" (yes they used that word) and put me in a helmet! Told my mom i'd never talk and she didn't need to learn ASL because I was special needs . (I have a very high IQ which was stupid)
im so sorry 😢
That's so awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Did your parents and doctors learn that they were wrong?
I really enjoyed this video of you and your mother discussing the difficulties in hearing parents communicating w/ their hearing-impaired children. It's a really important topic, and it's great to see you both addressing it. I'm a new subscriber (as of today), b/c someone posted to Reddit the video of you telling everyone how they matter and are not a burden. I think that message was just incredible, and I'm now a HUGE fan! I think that you have an amazingly important point of view that should be shared the world over. I just wanted to thank you for speaking up and offering hope to those who might be struggling w/ this concept. I look forward to following you online. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope that you enjoy a happy and healthy new year!
Just to let you know, the term 'hearing-impaired' is a big no-no in the Deaf community. It's best to say Deaf or Hard of Hearing.
@@annieswatches Thank you for letting me know. :)
@@jmg999 No problem!
I'm learning asl without any specific reason... it's sad that your mom doesn't sign and you have to talk, cause it could be a lot easier for you especially if she signed!! I really wish that one day you would make a video with her signing 🥺🥺
Learn ASL it's super fun!!
This came across my feed. Loved watching this. Also shocked to hear Beth Ann Monn mentioned! I know her name from my days working in Maryland. Small world.
She is the best!
I started learning sign in college by taking ASL 1 I wanted to learn because I want to be able to make where ever I worked accessible to deaf people. My first job was at chick Fil a and a women with two hearing children would come in and teach me signs she was so patient with me I was like 16?Then when I was 19 I had a friend who’s girlfriend was deaf and they met in high school and I just knew since then I wanted to be able to communicate with deaf people in their own language I saw how mean people were to them and thought they were a burden so that’s why I learned sign and now watch videos I just don’t know how to get involved I’m the community I don’t feel like i have a reason to be involved because I’m not deaf and no one in my family .
There’s a chapter in “Think and Grow Rich” about the author’s experience with his son born without ears, it is an older book and not exactly sensitive but quite interesting as far as how much more prepared to reach astronomical successes that his deaf son was than his other child.
Aww I love you're mom!! "You could work for the CIA"
You have a great mom 😢🤟
Why isn’t your mom signing?
Where/How is your mom learning?
I'm 17 and i have boyfriend and he is deaf and i love him so much..but my mom doesn't want to accept him just because he is deaf...and that makes me very sad...she yelled at me"Why don't you have normal bf?!!" and i went to my room and cried...Can someone help me?
I'm sorry you experienced this. Your mom is surely afraid but also being judgemental and ableist. Maybe sharing some resources to expose her to deaf people and communities. Also affirming to her the good qualities in her concern--wanting to keep you safe and have an "easy" life. But no relationship is easy. No life is all ease, it comes with loving people through their challenges and being loved through your own. I'm sure she knows this deep down. Be patient and plant seeds. You deserve a loving relationship with both your mom and your partner. Have a beautiful day ❤️
I'm deaf and my wife just won't learn BSL. It's bizarre and has caused a rift.
I'm so sorry that she won't do that for you. Hopefully, you can find a way out of that relationship and end up with someone who's willing to learn it for you.
What a great mom.
If she was great she would've learned ASL from the very beginning with little to no hesitancy. The only hesitancy would be that learning a new language isn't easy, but you do it regardless of that.
@piztah fair enough
Was anyone else completely confused by how her mum talks about Chrissy in the third person, but looking at her?
It’s because Chrissy is lip reading, but her mom is talking to the audience about Chrissy.
@@reykaye6096 I thought that was a bit weird still, she could just as well talk in second person to us and Chrissy since Chrissy asked the questions and addressed her directly. The use of third person pronouns was a bit confusing when there were other people mentioned too.
She's looking at her so Chrissy can read her lips but she is actually talking to the viewers. I didn't find it weird myself.
Her mom doesnt use sign language?
As an asl interpreting major in college who has been taking asl and cultural related classes for 6 years now, some of the things she said pained me. Specifically hearing her use the term “hearing impaired” made me cringe because it seems like she is actually trying her best for being a parent of Deaf child that isn’t necessarily the most comfortable with sign language.
From my own personal experience - she seems to be middle of the road between someone who is a very Deaf cultural supportive parent and a Oralist parent.
I’m not saying this to hate or anything I think she is doing a decent job because she is following the Deaf individual’s lead, being a parent in that situation can’t be an easy thing to do.
Hi Chrissy! Thanks for the helpful video. Does your mom know ASL? I was just wondering :)
1:22 Your mom says B-E-A-R, but the captions read B-A-E-R.
Am I getting lost or does your mom change from addressing you in the first person, to addressing you in the third person?
8:45 Curious. She said "methodical," but the captions read "lethargical."
Bert Visscher I noticed she changed from talking to Chrissy to talking about Chrissy.
Probably automated Captioning which is not always accurate.
Thank you for sharing 💜
I been deaf since I was baby my memory is 4 so mom doesn’t do asl because of her hands. I became deaf because of an antibiotic that saved me killed my hearing
Amazing thanks for sharing :) your mom amazing too😊
I’m sorry your parents didn’t immerse you in the deaf community sooner But hey they’re only doing what they think* is best for you.
what a wonderful video x
chrissy i love your hair
Why isn't your mom signing
wholesome
❤❤❤❤❤lovely
this was nice to watch. I'm HOH.
😊
I’m currently learning ASL and found your tiktok! Just wondering, where are you from?
I think she is from Maryland. One or her Tik Toks is a "hey yo, Maryland check." But she goes to school at USC in California.
Speech therapy actually takes away from time D/deaf and HoH students could be spending learning at the same rate as (or faster than) hearing students. The difference of using their native language is everything. It actually makes their lives easier, not harder, and provides an identity they don’t have to strain to come to terms with.
The first step to helping a D/deaf or HoH child accept themselves is accepting their language and culture yourself (despite how those around you react). It’s always better late than never.
ua-cam.com/video/NCSsk8MiWxM/v-deo.html
This is why immersion is so important. This mother is finally figuring it out. This is what she can hope for in the future.
i like her
LOL HEARING my parents 😬 😬 😬
How can she hear her mom and how can she hear what she saying do you like I know she’s not lying that she’s bath but like I’m just wondering I challenge for her how about we spell our names and she try to say them and then her mom is right there and she says if it’s right or wrong I would actually trade my ears for her ears because like She deserves to hear and I just feel that way I would donate my ears yeah and how did you learn sign language
She relies on lip-reading (or speechreading) now. I don't know if she would want to make a video about her pronouncing words and seeing if she got it right. She already made the "Can Siri Understand My Deaf Accent?" video. From what I know, she doesn't want to be able to hear because being deaf is not a tragedy. I think she's been learning from the Deaf community, but I don't know about online resources like Bill Vicars.
By the way, these are just my assumptions from the videos I've watched from this channel. If you see this comment, Chrissy, please let me know how you'd respond to these questions. Obviously, I don't want to speak for any deaf person because it's not my place.
I wish we could all have parents like her mom 😭
❤️ i love ur vids
I follow you on you on Tik Tok
Do you have any recommendations on where to learn sign? I'm not sure where to start.
Google and Facebook will quickly point to local resources. Some colleges or community centers teach ASL, if there's demand. Many don't. Lots of stuff on UA-cam/etc can teach the basics at no cost.
You'll learn sign faster and better if you can use it more often with more people. So it's good to find out where your local deaf community gathers ... though each is different, and some are friendly to outsiders while others are not.
Bill Vicars is a great teacher. Just type his name into youtube and he has many ASL playlists.
I don't understand the reluctance to learn sign language and your mom defending your dad saying, "you know, men like to fix things,". I'm sorry, (not really) but that's a bullshit excuse. You shouldn't have to rely on lipreading.
I would refuse to do that and force them to put in the effort to communicate with you. It'll be much easier for them to learn ASL than it is to learn how to speak and lipread when you can't hear yourself. Also, why was she referring to you in the third person? That was weird. Did you also tell her that 'hearing-impaired' is a big no-no in the Deaf community? Just wondering.
And also, gee, I wonder why she wasn't babbling when she can't hear herself. Not even giving you the opportunity to babble in ASL. I'm sorry that I'm being mean, I just wanted to point out the inconsistencies and not having equal access to a language that you should've had since birth.
IS YOUR MOM THE ACTRESS MOM IN CODA??
OR IS THERE JUST A RESEMBLANCE?
ok maybe it's just resemblance from the profile. I haven't seen the movie yet -- only clips from reviews.
No this mom is hearing and CODA’s mom is deaf
Good
I recently found out that my 4 month baby girl was born deaf I'm completely devastated and hopeless
I'm sorry to hear this and I can only imagine what a shock it is to find out your child has a disability. I would recommend watching more videos on here about deaf people so you can learn more about what it's like and how you can help, as well as hopefully feel inspired about the full and joyful lives deaf people live! You and your little girl can get through this! :)
This is rude to comment on a deaf persons video...maybe find a parent support group?
That must have been quite the shock! I can understand the feeling of devastation that comes with finding out that your child will have to grow up with something that can make their life more difficult. Parents just want the best for their children, and to make their children’s lives the best they can be. And to help them. And, no matter what, that will never change. You will always want the best for your child. And you will always want to support them. And you will always love them. Sometimes, life throws a curveball at us, and we can’t change a difficult situation. But that’s ok! Because we can change the way that we react to things. No matter what, we all face challenges in our lives, and those challenges are powerful forces that help us learn to adapt. Your daughter is deaf. That will create certain challenges in her life. But you can use those challenges as an opportunity to help her grow. She will get to see a side of life that many of us will never experience. She will face many difficulties, yes. But she will also learn to overcome them, and become a stronger, more adaptable person precisely because of those difficulties. Many of the deaf people that I’ve met are wildly patient, incredibly flexible with communication, and have a wonderfully strong bond and sense of community.
But the most important thing is your bond with your child, and the tools that you give her. And for that reason, I would highly recommend that you start learning sign language. For goodness sake, we tell people to use sign language with their hearing children from a young age because of the proven benefits. Children, regardless of their hearing/deaf status, have an easier time picking up sign language than spoken language. If given access to sign language, they begin using language from an earlier age, and develop language and the ability to comprehend abstract thoughts earlier and more quickly. And the best part is, you don’t have to be an expert from day one! You can learn alongside your daughter. Check out youtube. There are a ton of resources here! If you’re in a place that uses American Sign Language, like the United States, you could check out Bill Vicars, ASLMeridith, ASL That, Sign Enhancers, and handspeak.com. Loads of useful vocabulary just from those sources! Plenty to get you started! Please, do not wait! And even if you want to go the route of hearing aides and speech therapy, you can still do that! Sign language does not hinder those things, it enhances them! And again, we tell parents of hearing children to sign with their babies! It greatly helps them acquire language, begin expressing themselves and communicating with their parents, and it doesn’t hinder them in any way. If we tell parents of hearing children to learn sign language because of the immense benefit it provides to their hearing children, then why wouldn’t we tell parents of deaf children the same thing?
You do not need to feel hopeless. I understand why you do, but there IS so much hope. Please consider giving your child access to the easiest language for children to learn: sign language. It is an awesome tool, and one that was SPECIFICALLY crafted for your daughter.
Wishing you and your daughter the best!
You’ve got this!
@@pendelschabe thank you so much. Your words touched my heart ❤ I will definitely learn sign language my baby is 8 month old now. And I can say that She became very smarter than before .now I'm trying to get into the deaf community by having more deaf friends .they are really amazing as you said maybe my baby is blased since she's going to experience another side of life that many of us will never know. Thank you again you made my day and I appreciate every single word you have written to me. Sending kisses and hugs ❤
why does her mum sound like she smokes 50 a day?
Hola
Sii
Hii😄
🤟🏻 💜
Heyyy
Do you qualify for a CI? With the success so many experience with a CI why wouldn't this be an attractive option at this point?
I bet she don't understand the whole thing what her mother said until she get the video captioned and she will finally understand what her mother said.
How is she understanding her mom if she’s deaf
M Y that’s where I’m at
Years and years of practicing lip reading