In today's society men are labeled as egotistical, arrogant, and narcissistic just for being a man, and acting like a man. They call it toxic masculinity. Yet, if a man does suffer from emotions and tries to seek help then he loses all respect. Especially the women in his life now see him as weak and vulnerable. It's a double edge sword and most of us just choose to live with our problems rather than risk losing our "toxic masculinity".
Men are still taught to 'not have any feelings'. Some people - men, mostly - even say that rage and anger aren't even any feelings. That way, when (some) men are angry, worried or nervous about something, they replace their emotion by anger. I think it's the same for anxiety. When someone here claims that every man has a negative experience of sharing their feelings, I heavily doubt that. It sure has happened to men. However, whom did they tell that? Maybe it simply was a wrong person - another man maybe, who doesn't care about 'mans's feelings'? Or the way it was expressed was just wrong, namely angrily (see above).
frustration, anger, fight / flight response, yelling, irritability, physical symptoms... Lack of motivation for anything / everything that used to bring you joy.
@@melkerner also as we age , loss of testosterone plays a huge role in our overall mental wellbeing, for some reason doctors seem to instantly assume it’s depression and could potentially be, but they don’t seem to look into testosterone levels and find a way to boost those levels, they just hand out antidepressants like candy. I’m going on 49 ,I think testosterone levels are directly related to our energy level ,mood and clarity. It’s hard enough to be a an today and losing our once feeling of invincibility makes it worse.Stay positive, you’re not alone.👍🏻❤️👍🏿
@@RF-cz4lnPerfectly valid to look into hormone replacement therapy for men, especially as an alternative to antidepressants. I do believe that there is some ground to be gained there. But we need to be careful to balance it out. Many risks go way down with *slightly* lower testosterone. It's all about finding that balance, especially later in life.
I appreciate your attempt to see anxiety through a "male lens", but to be honest, it's more the opposite of what you're saying... We men INTERNALIZE our anxiety, we suppress our real feelings because we fear that externalizing them will result in being shamed, mocked, belittled, or rejected. Which, sadly, is often the case. Women generally have no issues sharing/expressing/externalizing their insecurities, because they know women around them will support them and there are usually men available to bend over backwards to try and help them too. Children also respond very differently to anxious women than anxious men. I agree that SOME men respond to this "internalized rage" with outbursts of anger, violence, or rebellion, but things like social withdrawal and substance abuse are actually examples of "doubling down" on suppression and avoidance. As a male who has battled anxiety for over 20 years, that's my observation anyway
I agree with you, it’s more this than what she’s saying. I think it’s a little questionable to give excuses to downright dangerous and possibly abusive behavior too and say “oh, there goes that male anxiety again”. People who do these things obviously need help, and shouldn’t be invalidated, but first priority is making sure they’re not a wrecking ball to everyone around them.
I think the things she is saying are true, just not for anxiety. Mens anxiety is for sure internalized because we are now allowed to be real about it. I think stress leads to what she talked about, but stress is different than anxiety.
Exactly I think anxiety in men is just as varied in its effects as it is for women, though if we had to pick one majority then I'm pretty sure most men are experts at repressing more than anything else. Sure that can surface itself through outbursts or irritation, but it's equally likely to surface in isolation and distancing. Substance abuse I'd say is pretty accurate and common, but again def not half the population I.e all men either. I really do appreciate that someone is trying to shine a light on the male perspective I mean damn that's all too rare, but still this only touches on a portion of us
@@thechildren8359 This happens with angry women and I don't really want to cut men in on that deal. The number of times I've seen someone be told to submit to their abusive mother because she's suffering... like, yes, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with it. Abusive fathers get this pass too, but people have an idea of a deadbeat dad you can play on. Authority figures in general are able to spin their anger as someone else's fault, while their subordinates' anger is *also* someone else's fault and requires punishment.
I rate this is what resulted in my heart attack, doctors found nothing in all the blood tests they did. I'm just dealing with it and carrying on. I will not take any medication for it only the heart meds.
@@Pivitrix See your doctor and get your blood pressure checked and a chest X-ray. Hell, get a complete blood workup while you're at it; you can't address any problems you have if you don't know about them.
36 years of panic attacks and general anxiety disorder .. and finally someone who gets it. Thankfully I'm finally with a good psychiatric nurse practitioner for the right meds and a good therapist. Kinda sucks when your partner just waves off your issue(s), even through you slog through every day to keep a roof over the head, food in the fridge, and you're holding up your side of the parnership.
Man I know what you mean, I'm not in a relationship anymore but when I was I was never understood or appreciated she caused me to get unwell, actually diagnosed with schizophrenia she was the straw that broke the camels back. Take care man and stay strong.
Happy for you my brother, It takes ral courage to take actions that will change the way you live believe when I say that taking a step forward makes you one of few, you are exeptional.
Stay calm... remain. You are on the right path. Splits are tough, but one who "feeds" the demon of Hunger & Emptiness is the one who keeps you enslaved. It is worse to waste love than to deny love given. Your soul and Spirit and energy matter; don't let "socialized" narcissism replace freely given love & turn your efforts & energy into Entropy. Narcissists are a "hole", not defined by "substance", but emptiness and "volume". Never feed an Abyss; it's nature IS hunger. Men are human "doings", not "beings". Appreciate & reward your hard labor. I tell you from experience NO ONE ELSE will. Cancer is removed by being "cut off" or separated from the "host". Many people, even family [often, mostly] ARE "family". Who else but "family" familiar with the bloodline can plague a man most? For Family knows the weaknesses or "lack" of the individual along the same "root".
If you don't workout and sweat your ass off for at least an hour a day I suggest you start. This will help immensely. Sounds like you have an ungrateful wife who causes all of your misery. Many of us are in the same boat you are !!!
Exactly, if we don't process our emotions they *will* eventually come out. Usually in a negative way. And one of the ways men are socialized to think is acceptable is anger. Feeling angry is fine. But acting angry should be avoided in most situations.
@@MichaelDeHaven Not processing your emotions properly is also a gateway for depression in my experience, you teach your brain to block all kinds of emotions and sooner or later you become a numb robot isolated from your own feelings
Best thing I've done for my mental health is strength training. Seeing your abs, muscle tone, and having little to no issues with manual labor SKYROCKETS your confidence.
Same. Anything that pulls me out of introspection. Introspection and thinking are the problem. Action and engagement with the world around me is the solution.
Anxiety is externalised by women too. Male attack with anger which people notice immediately and women attack with blames, critics, judging illigimate the feeling of other and they also control which is more tolerated and even pushed. Blame, critics and our feeling being dismissed hurt way more than hearing someone yelling. That being said, yelling is of course disagreeable for the surrounding but it doesn’t hurt really anybody but the yeller that we feel loneliness and judgments from other. We live in a strange world with so many double standards.
@@satanm8c40 Women will seek therapy when they have irritability/anger/sadness but what I am saying is that they externalize their anxiety by other means that are socially accepted and encouraged so they don’t seek therapy. These other means are socially accepted and encouraged and they are also very damaging for people around these women. Just as anger is damaging for people around an angry man. Search for a list of coping mechanisms that people do when they are anxious. You’ll understand. My gf has gad and I am in a CBT therapy since 3 years. About me? I stated few facts about anxiety. Why it triggers you like that?
@@satanm8c40 you completely missed the point. This is a post about men exclusively and in typical fashion a woman tried to make it about her "anxiety is exTeRNaLizEd bY WomEN tOo"
It's also generally acceptable for a woman suffering depression/anxiety to receive sympathy for the default accompanying emotion: sadness. The male default is often anger, and most men are often told it's not okay to be angry. Anger can certainly be more destructive, but it also has to be recognized as a symptom.
@@barzinimongo That is absolutely not true. Women are more limited, oppressed and discriminated against in most societies on Earth. This is one of fairly few aspects where men have it worse. That does not mean it should not be taken seriously.
@@WaywardSon1 Sure, but my point still stands, women have an easier life, but ofcourse the better a girl looks her life become waaaay easier then a girl that doesnt look as good, but still easier.
@@WaywardSon1 This isn't _nearly_ as true as the postmodern revisionist take on human history would have you believe, but generally speaking the idea of any one or the other's lives being "easier" is just nonsense. Men and women have different struggles and statistics don't support either narrative, because there are innumerable angles from which we can approach this question. Being smaller and more vulnerable on average makes a lot of things more dangerous for women, absolutely. They face uncomfortable harassment at times over which they have little power, they're more likely to suffer from high-trait-neuroticism mental issues, have wildly swinging biological processes that drastically affect quality of life, etc, but it all depends on where in the world you look and through what lens. In the west, men suffer more assaults, are far more likely to be murdered, have a 5x higher suicide rate, disproportionately lose custody of children in divorce (and have to perpetually pay alimony in many cases). Men do the vast majority of society's hard labour, almost exclusively maintain its infrastructure, and are not only viewed as, but treated as disposable by western society, which goes in line with the extremely dangerous jobs they virtually exclusively do compared to women. That said, people have _vastly_ different sensitivity levels which make _all_ of this hardship extremely relative. The TL;DR here is that struggles are about framing, and competitions about who has the hardest life are really quite stupid.
@@barzinimongo No your point does not stand. Attractive people have easier lives in some ways but that is regardless of gender. On that note, society’s fixation on appearance is detrimental to everyone’s health.
I think women with anxiety tend to actively worry about things, meaning they focus too much in a negative way. Men with anxiety instead find ways to AVOID focussing on things, which might mean retreating, stagnating, turning to self-destructive habits.
Yeah, if we are speaking in a very broad sense both have different negative coping stereotypes. Women often ruminate on the issue to the point of anxiety/depression. Men suppress til it often explodes in an angry outburst, unfortunately sometimes violently.
That makes sense. Traditionally the other men would pick up on it and provide the support in their own way. Bring out the raw emotion which might get physical and deal with it, and then get a few beers and provide comraderie, which is all frowned upon nowadays. All the working mens clubs etc were forced to admit women while they could still have their woman only clubs, and this removed one of the positive environments that men require. There needs to be men only spaces.
This is so true . Recently i was venting to my GF , not even remotely about her just venting about how i hooked up space heaters in our place ( heats old and finicky) and it took 20 min to hook up and BAM heat turns back on like 10 min after everything's done . Naturally I'm relieved but livid that i wasted half an hour . So im telling her and she goes " Jesus! what am I supposed to do?" She didn't realize i was venting and when i told her she immediately went " How was i supposed to know , sorry. "
All men suffer from anxiety, and what you just described pretty much explains why so many countless women claim that their men are abusive. I know with myself I have to work sometimes 60-80 hours a week, and when I come home all I can think about doing is getting to my side project, which I want to be the thing I replace my current job with. But I get met with loads of questions, comments and requests on things if I can help with. It's beyond infuriating because I'm just trying to get into a better situation, so I become irritable. But it's only because I get anxious at the thought of doing what I'm doing now forever.
I'm a man recently diagnosed with CPTSD and anxiety. I was unawre of both as I was ordered to undergo anger management treatment. Luckily, the therapist there recognized the signs and referred me to a psychiatrist. Now I'm receiving treatment and slowly improving.
@carlcushmanhybels8159 CPTSD is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is caused by long-term untreated trauma. Most often found in abused children or children of a narcissistic parent. In my case, both.
You're not alone. It takes a lifetime to get over all that shyt. But, I'm pretty sure you already know that. Really, I just wanted to make sure you know there's lots of us out here.
Fascinating. I'm a 75 year old man, who was diagnosed with PTSD and clinical depression long ago. Living with it is complicated. I live alone. I think it would be hard anymore to live with someone. And there are so many barriers to getting any relief. I don't want meds. Money is an issue. Then there is my deafness. So, I turn to intense dramas and stirring music videos for release.
@@whitecrow1949 me too, CPTSD, Alexithymia, AuDHD, DID. I found certain songs would trigger emotional states that were unresolved and I would use them to trigger myself to EMDR them. Meds didn’t work for me but getting a methylation gene test was invaluable. Using the correct version of supplements for my body turned a lot of things around like autoimmune issues, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, insomnia etc etc.
@vulpinemachine ... I used to read a lot. English was my minor when I was an undergraduate. After the university, I continued ... I have read thousands of books ... fiction, classics, biographies, special topics, et al.
It's just a matter of time for it to become ineffective -- just like the long time use of alcohol and other drugs. Then you got two difficult problems. We can't get away from our own thoughts from our own mind. "I can never get away from me."
I have anxiety and got t in the 500’s now compared to 200’s I had before slightly less anxiety but higher t def brought out more aggression and anger and stuff like having the urge to drive way too fast
Basically my anxiety disorder symptoms, but I'm the oldest daughter who inherited my father's rage. I screamed back just as hard at him, no peace or healing in that house for either of us until I left and never looked back. It's taken me many years to get to a point where I can accept that my anger was really just sheer terror.
This is so true, a lot of male anxiety manifests itself as Somatic symptom disorder. As a man who has suffered from anxiety i always get scary physical symptoms that come out of nowhere. I kept thinking I was physically ill and would go to the ER multiple times with chest pain, breathing problems. The hospital staff have got to know me and must think I'm a mental case.
The staff is right! Multiple symptoms of anxiety til ER visits is a mental case not a medical case. The proper referral is necessary. Most males have more control
Fascinating. Wholehartedly agree - I was always called "olympian calm" (French saying) but this year I realized it's a thick overlay of suppression, on top of deep seated anxiety. On the other hand I had a har time focusing on your excellent words because you're gorgeous!
My wife with BPD seems to exhibit all the things you described when she is under any bit of stress, but only to me or other loved ones. She tries to internalize and hide these from coworkers, strangers, or anyone who she wants to only see the "normal" side of her. The rest of us in her life closest to her get the blunt of externalizing her anxiety.
Depression is suffering in the past. Anxiety is suffering in the future. However, when you become aware of yourself in every "now" moment, you will notice that Depression/anxiety disappears. From there, you can still choose to perpetuate or solve, appreciate, and let go.
Correct if u have low level issues. Dissociation is the next level above that, wait until it’s so bad that u get lose it for a second but then dissociate so u can’t even tell what ur feeling, you can’t even be in the now moment
In the past few weeks (and right after my birthday, how cheerful) my job has been causing me so much anxiety it felt like my throat was closing. Every day I found it harder and harder to breath, less function. I eventually started taking half a Xanax every day to keep myself mellow, and I've recently made the decision to go back to therapy, despite owing money to them.
I had it for years until on day my wife begged me to get help. I’m glad I did. I’ve learned techniques to help me cope and meditation. I’m much more stable now
It's not a matter of social conditioning that men tend to present our anxieties (or feelings in general) differently than woman do. I was raised in therapy (I was suicidal at an early age) and despite the comfort and ease with which I can talk to people about my feelings, I still follow normal male patterns of emotional behavior. I understand that part of this insistence that it's all cultural is empathy on the part of women, but it comes across to me (and many men like me who have been telling y'all this for literally hundreds of thousands of years) that you're just not listening. We're not the same as you, you're not the same as us, that's kind of the point of a sexually dimorphic species. We just need to hold space for each others' differences, not pretend there ARE no differences.
What we label Anxiety is untrained nervous energy, with commitment and meditation it can be turned around into creative energy , and used as self love and compassion for others , it’s not easy but I have done this myself , it is your commitment to your self that is the remedy not the rate of progress per se 👌 warm wishes
Fast heartbeat for no apparent reason, heart palpitations, intermittent (as opposed to constant) very high blood pressure. Mine was initially diagnosed by a cardiologist. Then it turns out there was loads of other stuff, some of which was a surprise and some of it was “well, dang it, I guess they were gonna figure it out eventually, guess I’d better deal with that too.”
Hey 29 year old male here. And in my experience, it’s the opposite. We usually bottle up all our anxiety until one day, some organ inside us bursts. And that’s it.
My generalized anxiety manifests in various forms, ranging from panic attacks to sneezing, and it has done so over the years. As I've aged, my lower energy levels seem to have curtailed these anxious expressions. I was born with anxiety issues, which have always been perplexing to me. Then, depression set in. Maybe more later.
Foreal. There was one point in my life where i was dealin with so much anxiety i couldn't shit for like 3 days. True story😔. That's when i truly understood the saying, "Scared shitless." Stay up kings, if you ever feel like your goin through some shit, just remember everyone's goin through shit and just keep pushin through💪.
I believe most male anxiety is internalised and completely hidden. It is for me, and listening to and watching other men, it's common to see "nothing," dispite knowing the severity of issues they're dealing with. It may be a natural masculine attribute, but it's definitely also trained, refined & honed by experience. We typically avoid expressing any anxiety because it isn't valued, or leads to worse reactions from women, who typically can't handle male anxiety.
Thank you for this video. I have cerebral palsy and I'm in a wheelchair which led me to getting excluded a lot and later on develop anxiety. I thankfully have worked through it for the most part, but I remember when I was a teenager I would often get nose bleeds when I was particularly anxious about something.
I hate saying I get severe anxiety, because it sounds like I'm trying to get special treatment, but it's becoming a serious problem for me. I find that it manifests as this tight feeling around the outer corners of my eye sockets and tightening of my facial muscles. Sometimes it gets severe enough I become extremely avoidant of people and eye contact, I'll just pretend I'm super absorbed into my work. But the thing is: I have coworkers who treat me like garbage, ones who will slander me and the others that just believe it without a second thought. I see the side eye glances I get from people and the hushed tones when I'm around and it just makes me want to crawl in a hole. I think the primary reason I became a target was because I secured a high paying promotion and I'm the smallest guy in maintenance now and people accused me of "getting pushed into the position" instead of earning it on my own merit. I recognize that I'm treated poorly because of their own issues, but its incredibly hard not to internalize what they're saying because I get that treatment from like half the staff. Each day it's becoming harder to determine if this anxiety is the result of my environment or if it's because of me not managing my mental state properly
Unfortunately my experience of anxiety is heavily internalised. I don't externalise anything at all really, besides visually looking a little bit hesitant/nervous and word salad.
The solution which is rarely highlighted anywhere, not even here on this video, is acknowledging it and knowing that you'll have to continue doing what you're doing regardless. It's not ignoring the issue. It's in fact seeing it as your friend you have to work with to tackle life and it needs your help because it cant do it without you. It needs your help because it has no senses to work with other than presenting itself otherwise it would have solved the problem without you.
Bar the substance abuse symptoms, all else matches exactly. I rarely have outbursts. I would say it's extreme intrrnalization: the symptoms become physical symptoms in my body-from GI issues to headaches.
I started like this before my last mental breakdown, I was quite irritable getting angry really easy with my colleagues, I started having pain on my back and ended (after me breakdown) to be extremely depressed. All this for a friend I have feelings for that after I confessed started to keep distance, acting rude to me, becoming closer to other people so the time we spent together she could continue spending with somebody and finally when she moved to another country asked me to not contact her anymore. I know she isn't happy with the way she managed the situation (I could see on her face) but I don't think she'll contact me again cause she thinks it's for the best if we don't see each other never again.
I remember when I was in middle school, i was severly bullied because my family was poor. My anxiety was showing as a throwing up. Basicaly every morning, right before going to school i was running to bathroom and puking all what I have. Because of this I skipped breakfast, so i cannot throw up all this food (Because that was wasting). I lied to my parents that was because I eat to much before bed (that was also a lie, I didnt eat anything) I never told them truth, and I never will, they dont wanna listen or undestand. Thankfuly it stoped when I got to Highschool and met normal people.
I didn't have anxiety before dating someone with severe anxiety. At least not at the same level that I do now. I've always been more on the introverted side, but I still had friends and went out and socialized. Now I'm too scared to leave the house most days, and when I do leave the house to get groceries or whatever, I go late at night when other people are most likely in bed.
I didn’t even know I had anxiety until I went to the doctor. I kept getting all of these random symptoms and feeling like I was sick. I took all of these blood test, x-ray, ultrasound, and etc. They couldn’t find anything wrong with me
I've had anxiety issues since I was at school. It's cost me so much in my life by way of things I couldn't do or did badly not counting the secret anxiety inside myself. I've got and had many female friends and they usually don't get it. Not just male anxiety but anxiety on the not functioning going to pass out or throw up level at all. I think anxiety is something that it's impossible to understand if you've never suffered from it.
There is a fundamental issue when we affirm that all behavior comes from socialization, I think that for most studies it has been quite hard to separate which behaviors respond to just being human and which to culture, in the same way, a cat separated from the birth of his pack still goes to the litter, we humans have some inherent species behaviors that need to be acknowledged in order to improve.
Yes, that resonates. I should emphasize that my aggressions are almost never directed towards the other person, since they are not the problem. It could be that I say things like "If I get another bill from this company, I will threaten to kill them." (...for something I hadn't agreed to and a service I hadn't received. Eventually someone in a health care center called the company and the bills where revoked, but that's another story.) That is a desperate cry-out for help and what I mean when I say such that things is that I can't go on like this anymore and I am on the verge of destroying for myself (smashing the windows in my apartment, for instance) or even consider suicide. It's when everything has piled up for a long time without anything resolving and eventually everything just get too much. I am 46 y.o.; basically I have fought my entire adult life to get the need I help from society. This is hard, because not even persons who are supposed to help me are always supportive. Even therapists often misinterpret my strong need to talk about what is going on in my life and they aggressively start to interupt me.
Even if she's trying to help, this was not way she's doing it so, there are much more good ways to represent herself...but she decided to show up...! Yes thats real women right there not human
Catorgerizing often leads to “funneling” if you will. There may be many that can relate to your situation or life experiences, although that only fills the void of 70, 80, or 90%. That other 30, 20, or 10% is all your’s. No one or nothing can take that away from you. It’s Your’s, You Own It…Yet you want to give it back. But remember, you own it. You control it when you think you don’t, you have it all. You’re the best at manifesting, you’ve already proven that with all the negative physical responses you live with. Now instead of using your abilities for fear, use them for your given right- Peace, Love, and Light.
I already have a Chronic back injury with pain off the charts and that's what lead to my anxiety and I went the other way, I'll just meditate and shut down as to not make things worse because everything physically I do, it just adds to the pain and Not in a Good way
This might be true but I think it actually goes more like this. With women; it’s worrying, nervousness, thoughts of impending danger, irritability, emotional. With men; it’s “hey man how’s it going?” “Oh I’m doing good”, even though he’s not, he thinks, “everyone is counting on me I can’t fail! I might fail”
Us males who suffer in silence know that we literally are on a lonely road with one ending. Some lash out but that is because they are at the start of that road. it has not all sunk in yet. once it does they calm down.
No one cares about us. 11yr relationship ended my social circle is gone I reached out to old friends on FB and hear crickets. You can bet money my ex has no problems finding someone to listen to her problems. No one cares about men...
@TierNone_LarperatoR Can you find a support group? It's unfortunate your FB friends didn't respond :( Ideally your friends would have responded, but since they didn't, I recommend trying to find a support group for men. It will give you the opportnuity to share what's on your mind and meet other men, so you might form new friendships. Virtual groups could be an option too, if travel is a limitation. Churches can have good resources too, but it depends of that's something you're open to. Be wary of groups that might prey on vulnerability (i.e. exhibit cultish qualities). If support groups are difficult to come by, I recommend diving into a hobby. It's a great time to learn something new or read about a topic you wanted to know in greater depth. I attend open mic groups (comedy) on occasion; most of the audience and comics are men. They are hilarious and something to look forward to every month. You can be in the audience and/or tell jokes. Just some ideas. Hope this helped.
I wish someone had told me sooner that you don't need other people to process negative emotions. It's just more efficient when you have an outside perspective. Don't suppress those emotions, just relax when you're alone and look at the picture of your life as big as possible. Ask yourself why you feel that way and once you find the source, figure out if it's worth the stress and anxiety. If you can change your outlook on the problem, it becomes easier to mitigate the automatic stress response. If that still doesn't work, then ask yourself if the source of the way you feel is worth pursuing in the long run. If the answer is no, abandon it no matter the cost because sooner or later it's going to destroy you. If there is no way for you to escape it in life, you can always escape it in death. For some people, there really is no hope, and that's okay. Death is a natural part of life, and in my eyes there is no difference between passing from cancer and at your own hands when life becomes an unfixable curse. Sometimes life throws people curveballs they're not meant to handle. All that matters is that you did the best you could with what you had. Anyone who truly loves you may grieve, but would still understand that.
I think the human species would benefit tremendously from regular intense exercise a few times per week. As a 38 year old Dad of 4 young kids, I’ve never rebounded and felt better than before and after working out consistently with a small group. That said, I played HS sports and my wife and I were very athletic in our 20s … that all slowed down once we had kids. Only in the last few years have we started to get back to a regimented workout schedule, and the health and mental benefits are astounding. Long story short; get off the couch and go outside, stop worrying so much about what others think and take care of yourself. “Too blessed to be stressed”
Its not really different. Ive seen women express their anxieties in similar ways. Its just that different people handle it in different ways, but the overall different symptoms are the same. This is because anxiety always comes on for the same reason for everyone. And that reason is always due to an unaddressed fear.
The Institute of Coaching is open to anyone with no degree or medical background required. I would suggest getting counseling or psychiatric advice from liscensed professionals or doctors. If you are suffering from anxiety or any other mental health issues, please see a counselor not a coach.
Women use other mean to externalize such has blame, critics, dismissing others feelings. These are accepted in our society and anger/yelling isn’t. Both are toxic.
I don't know who you are or what your credentials are. But I just want to say that I'm very happy that people are starting to recognise that male mental health is vastly different to female mental health, and especially how we should treat it.
i think we also need to take a moment and address the root cause of anxiety. in women, usually it's something like "i'm ugly, i'm fat, my husband said hi with a different pitch today, there's another woman, i have to file for divorce, need to find the next one, my child got abducted by aliens". for men it's more like, "getting punched daily at home, on the way to work, at work, on the way home, etc, my wife interprets that as if i dont like her, she has already moved on to another guy, now i have no house, have to pay alimony, and i have to suck it up and move on"
I get anxiety knowing that i can't talk about my anxiety with anyone because it's considered less masculine to have emotional issues. If we talked about our bullet wounds or knee injuries from contact sport it'd be considered good.
I do have diagnosed anxiety disorder because of the classic anxiety symptoms, but so do also have anger issues. Not so much at people, but at actions and injustices. Like, I do not want to hurt anyone, but I do want to yell and scream and use word to put them in their place.
Men care about how people "think" [Future or Mind], thoughts, concepts. Women care about how others "feel" [present]... emotions. Both are required. Emotions are there to help "balance" the desire of Spirit & the demands of Flesh [Past. Memory. Wisdom.]
Exercise can be a *very* useful outlet for anxiety. I love a great bike ride or even just a walk in the woods. Nature can be so calming too. But if we are just keeping busy to avoid our thoughts, *that is a problem* To be clear, not claiming that's what you were saying. Just that I've seen/done that behavior. suppressing our thoughts or emotions is always unhealthy in the long term.
I don't find myself to have ever in my life been anxious... like the normal feeling of nervousness. I don't get that... I get more irritated and or maybe fed up... Very interesting
It’s ok, most of us men are aware that nobody gives a fuck about our anxieties.
That's not true. I'd rather say men are not interested in taking care of the reasons.
@@md-io4tb each man has a negative experience with expressing their concern about themselves.
In today's society men are labeled as egotistical, arrogant, and narcissistic just for being a man, and acting like a man. They call it toxic masculinity.
Yet, if a man does suffer from emotions and tries to seek help then he loses all respect. Especially the women in his life now see him as weak and vulnerable. It's a double edge sword and most of us just choose to live with our problems rather than risk losing our "toxic masculinity".
Men are still taught to 'not have any feelings'. Some people - men, mostly - even say that rage and anger aren't even any feelings.
That way, when (some) men are angry, worried or nervous about something, they replace their emotion by anger. I think it's the same for anxiety.
When someone here claims that every man has a negative experience of sharing their feelings, I heavily doubt that. It sure has happened to men. However, whom did they tell that? Maybe it simply was a wrong person - another man maybe, who doesn't care about 'mans's feelings'? Or the way it was expressed was just wrong, namely angrily (see above).
@@md-io4tbAgain, blaming men for 'not doing anxiety right'
frustration, anger, fight / flight response, yelling, irritability, physical symptoms... Lack of motivation for anything / everything that used to bring you joy.
That statement sums up lots of us men .
Motivation issue is possibly depression/dopamine
@@melkerner also as we age , loss of testosterone plays a huge role in our overall mental wellbeing, for some reason doctors seem to instantly assume it’s depression and could potentially be, but they don’t seem to look into testosterone levels and find a way to boost those levels, they just hand out antidepressants like candy. I’m going on 49 ,I think testosterone levels are directly related to our energy level ,mood and clarity. It’s hard enough to be a an today and losing our once feeling of invincibility makes it worse.Stay positive, you’re not alone.👍🏻❤️👍🏿
@@RF-cz4lnOn the other hand, you don’t want overly high testosterone if you have no outlet for it (no sexual access)
@@RF-cz4lnPerfectly valid to look into hormone replacement therapy for men, especially as an alternative to antidepressants. I do believe that there is some ground to be gained there. But we need to be careful to balance it out. Many risks go way down with *slightly* lower testosterone. It's all about finding that balance, especially later in life.
I appreciate your attempt to see anxiety through a "male lens", but to be honest, it's more the opposite of what you're saying...
We men INTERNALIZE our anxiety, we suppress our real feelings because we fear that externalizing them will result in being shamed, mocked, belittled, or rejected. Which, sadly, is often the case.
Women generally have no issues sharing/expressing/externalizing their insecurities, because they know women around them will support them and there are usually men available to bend over backwards to try and help them too. Children also respond very differently to anxious women than anxious men.
I agree that SOME men respond to this "internalized rage" with outbursts of anger, violence, or rebellion, but things like social withdrawal and substance abuse are actually examples of "doubling down" on suppression and avoidance.
As a male who has battled anxiety for over 20 years, that's my observation anyway
I agree with you, it’s more this than what she’s saying. I think it’s a little questionable to give excuses to downright dangerous and possibly abusive behavior too and say “oh, there goes that male anxiety again”. People who do these things obviously need help, and shouldn’t be invalidated, but first priority is making sure they’re not a wrecking ball to everyone around them.
Sounds right to me. Ppl think males don’t ruminate or worry bc we don’t do it OUT LOUD.
I think the things she is saying are true, just not for anxiety. Mens anxiety is for sure internalized because we are now allowed to be real about it. I think stress leads to what she talked about, but stress is different than anxiety.
Exactly I think anxiety in men is just as varied in its effects as it is for women, though if we had to pick one majority then I'm pretty sure most men are experts at repressing more than anything else. Sure that can surface itself through outbursts or irritation, but it's equally likely to surface in isolation and distancing. Substance abuse I'd say is pretty accurate and common, but again def not half the population I.e all men either. I really do appreciate that someone is trying to shine a light on the male perspective I mean damn that's all too rare, but still this only touches on a portion of us
@@thechildren8359 This happens with angry women and I don't really want to cut men in on that deal. The number of times I've seen someone be told to submit to their abusive mother because she's suffering... like, yes, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with it. Abusive fathers get this pass too, but people have an idea of a deadbeat dad you can play on. Authority figures in general are able to spin their anger as someone else's fault, while their subordinates' anger is *also* someone else's fault and requires punishment.
Over the long term it often manifests as heart attacks, strokes, hypertension, enlarged heart....
I rate this is what resulted in my heart attack, doctors found nothing in all the blood tests they did. I'm just dealing with it and carrying on. I will not take any medication for it only the heart meds.
@@bulldogwoof6954 i didnt take any meds, my heart palpitation and arrythmia went away in a few weeks
I'm screwed then, genuinely.
@@Pivitrix See your doctor and get your blood pressure checked and a chest X-ray. Hell, get a complete blood workup while you're at it; you can't address any problems you have if you don't know about them.
Why yes, I have a big heart, how could you tell?
36 years of panic attacks and general anxiety disorder .. and finally someone who gets it. Thankfully I'm finally with a good psychiatric nurse practitioner for the right meds and a good therapist. Kinda sucks when your partner just waves off your issue(s), even through you slog through every day to keep a roof over the head, food in the fridge, and you're holding up your side of the parnership.
Man I know what you mean, I'm not in a relationship anymore but when I was I was never understood or appreciated she caused me to get unwell, actually diagnosed with schizophrenia she was the straw that broke the camels back. Take care man and stay strong.
Keep going brother, you are on the right path.
Happy for you my brother, It takes ral courage to take actions that will change the way you live believe when I say that taking a step forward makes you one of few, you are exeptional.
Stay calm... remain. You are on the right path. Splits are tough, but one who "feeds" the demon of Hunger & Emptiness is the one who keeps you enslaved. It is worse to waste love than to deny love given. Your soul and Spirit and energy matter; don't let "socialized" narcissism replace freely given love & turn your efforts & energy into Entropy. Narcissists are a "hole", not defined by "substance", but emptiness and "volume". Never feed an Abyss; it's nature IS hunger.
Men are human "doings", not "beings". Appreciate & reward your hard labor. I tell you from experience NO ONE ELSE will. Cancer is removed by being "cut off" or separated from the "host". Many people, even family [often, mostly] ARE "family". Who else but "family" familiar with the bloodline can plague a man most? For Family knows the weaknesses or "lack" of the individual along the same "root".
If you don't workout and sweat your ass off for at least an hour a day I suggest you start. This will help immensely. Sounds like you have an ungrateful wife who causes all of your misery. Many of us are in the same boat you are !!!
I think a lot of men with anxiety try to act like they don’t care about anything. That’s it
That's all it is. An act. Suppression only builds up and turns into a major emotional explosion.
Exactly, if we don't process our emotions they *will* eventually come out. Usually in a negative way. And one of the ways men are socialized to think is acceptable is anger. Feeling angry is fine. But acting angry should be avoided in most situations.
@@MichaelDeHaven Not processing your emotions properly is also a gateway for depression in my experience, you teach your brain to block all kinds of emotions and sooner or later you become a numb robot isolated from your own feelings
Exercise helps to ward off anxiety and helps to prioritize things for me
Working out and meditation works wonders
Best thing I've done for my mental health is strength training. Seeing your abs, muscle tone, and having little to no issues with manual labor SKYROCKETS your confidence.
Stretched isometrics beyond failure
@@mister-zen8491 absolutely. No feeling in the world like impressing yourself. And doing stuff with ease that others can't do, especially at your age.
Same. Anything that pulls me out of introspection. Introspection and thinking are the problem. Action and engagement with the world around me is the solution.
This.... is, actually quite on point.
Anxiety is externalised by women too.
Male attack with anger which people notice immediately and women attack with blames, critics, judging illigimate the feeling of other and they also control which is more tolerated and even pushed.
Blame, critics and our feeling being dismissed hurt way more than hearing someone yelling. That being said, yelling is of course disagreeable for the surrounding but it doesn’t hurt really anybody but the yeller that we feel loneliness and judgments from other.
We live in a strange world with so many double standards.
This is a post about men. 😂 Typical "pick me" woman ☕
@@satanm8c40 Women will seek therapy when they have irritability/anger/sadness but what I am saying is that they externalize their anxiety by other means that are socially accepted and encouraged so they don’t seek therapy. These other means are socially accepted and encouraged and they are also very damaging for people around these women. Just as anger is damaging for people around an angry man.
Search for a list of coping mechanisms that people do when they are anxious. You’ll understand.
My gf has gad and I am in a CBT therapy since 3 years.
About me? I stated few facts about anxiety. Why it triggers you like that?
@@satanm8c40 you completely missed the point. This is a post about men exclusively and in typical fashion a woman tried to make it about her "anxiety is exTeRNaLizEd bY WomEN tOo"
Well I agree with you at least. Although if you live with a high-strung man who yells, that can be tha Absolute Worst.
@@gomer2813 yup! As much as a control freak who blames you for everything. Both behaviors are caused by anxiety.
It's also generally acceptable for a woman suffering depression/anxiety to receive sympathy for the default accompanying emotion: sadness. The male default is often anger, and most men are often told it's not okay to be angry. Anger can certainly be more destructive, but it also has to be recognized as a symptom.
Women just have an easier life in all parts of their life, nothing new there.
@@barzinimongo That is absolutely not true. Women are more limited, oppressed and discriminated against in most societies on Earth. This is one of fairly few aspects where men have it worse. That does not mean it should not be taken seriously.
@@WaywardSon1 Sure, but my point still stands, women have an easier life, but ofcourse the better a girl looks her life become waaaay easier then a girl that doesnt look as good, but still easier.
@@WaywardSon1 This isn't _nearly_ as true as the postmodern revisionist take on human history would have you believe, but generally speaking the idea of any one or the other's lives being "easier" is just nonsense. Men and women have different struggles and statistics don't support either narrative, because there are innumerable angles from which we can approach this question.
Being smaller and more vulnerable on average makes a lot of things more dangerous for women, absolutely. They face uncomfortable harassment at times over which they have little power, they're more likely to suffer from high-trait-neuroticism mental issues, have wildly swinging biological processes that drastically affect quality of life, etc, but it all depends on where in the world you look and through what lens. In the west, men suffer more assaults, are far more likely to be murdered, have a 5x higher suicide rate, disproportionately lose custody of children in divorce (and have to perpetually pay alimony in many cases). Men do the vast majority of society's hard labour, almost exclusively maintain its infrastructure, and are not only viewed as, but treated as disposable by western society, which goes in line with the extremely dangerous jobs they virtually exclusively do compared to women. That said, people have _vastly_ different sensitivity levels which make _all_ of this hardship extremely relative.
The TL;DR here is that struggles are about framing, and competitions about who has the hardest life are really quite stupid.
@@barzinimongo No your point does not stand. Attractive people have easier lives in some ways but that is regardless of gender. On that note, society’s fixation on appearance is detrimental to everyone’s health.
I think women with anxiety tend to actively worry about things, meaning they focus too much in a negative way. Men with anxiety instead find ways to AVOID focussing on things, which might mean retreating, stagnating, turning to self-destructive habits.
Yeah, if we are speaking in a very broad sense both have different negative coping stereotypes. Women often ruminate on the issue to the point of anxiety/depression. Men suppress til it often explodes in an angry outburst, unfortunately sometimes violently.
That makes sense. Traditionally the other men would pick up on it and provide the support in their own way. Bring out the raw emotion which might get physical and deal with it, and then get a few beers and provide comraderie, which is all frowned upon nowadays. All the working mens clubs etc were forced to admit women while they could still have their woman only clubs, and this removed one of the positive environments that men require. There needs to be men only spaces.
Smartest insight yet.
I'm coming to that realisation too. Women, especially toxic ones, are ruining men's spaces.
Pretty sure the pub can count as that
@@u906 Do you know any pubs where only men are allowed?
@@Mastikator do you know any pubs where women randomly sit down at a table of blokes?
This is so true . Recently i was venting to my GF , not even remotely about her just venting about how i hooked up space heaters in our place ( heats old and finicky) and it took 20 min to hook up and BAM heat turns back on like 10 min after everything's done . Naturally I'm relieved but livid that i wasted half an hour . So im telling her and she goes " Jesus! what am I supposed to do?" She didn't realize i was venting and when i told her she immediately went " How was i supposed to know , sorry. "
They really live in their own bubbles.
Sounds like you have a healthy communication. Lots of couples don't have that. They can't share emotions.
All men suffer from anxiety, and what you just described pretty much explains why so many countless women claim that their men are abusive. I know with myself I have to work sometimes 60-80 hours a week, and when I come home all I can think about doing is getting to my side project, which I want to be the thing I replace my current job with. But I get met with loads of questions, comments and requests on things if I can help with. It's beyond infuriating because I'm just trying to get into a better situation, so I become irritable. But it's only because I get anxious at the thought of doing what I'm doing now forever.
I agree, but you forgot about throwing up, shaking/being cold and loss of appetite
I'm a man recently diagnosed with CPTSD and anxiety. I was unawre of both as I was ordered to undergo anger management treatment. Luckily, the therapist there recognized the signs and referred me to a psychiatrist. Now I'm receiving treatment and slowly improving.
Glad you're being understood and helped. What's CPTSD?
@carlcushmanhybels8159 CPTSD is Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is caused by long-term untreated trauma. Most often found in abused children or children of a narcissistic parent. In my case, both.
Read 'The Four Agreements' and 'What the Buddha Taught'. Amazing reads, relatively short, and the wisdom is timeless.
You can do this bro. All the best
You're not alone. It takes a lifetime to get over all that shyt. But, I'm pretty sure you already know that.
Really, I just wanted to make sure you know there's lots of us out here.
Fascinating. I'm a 75 year old man, who was diagnosed with PTSD and clinical depression long ago. Living with it is complicated. I live alone. I think it would be hard anymore to live with someone. And there are so many barriers to getting any relief. I don't want meds. Money is an issue. Then there is my deafness. So, I turn to intense dramas and stirring music videos for release.
Do you read? I think there's a lot of classic literature you might find worthwhile if you've not indulged before.
@@whitecrow1949 me too, CPTSD, Alexithymia, AuDHD, DID. I found certain songs would trigger emotional states that were unresolved and I would use them to trigger myself to EMDR them. Meds didn’t work for me but getting a methylation gene test was invaluable. Using the correct version of supplements for my body turned a lot of things around like autoimmune issues, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, insomnia etc etc.
@vulpinemachine ... I used to read a lot. English was my minor when I was an undergraduate. After the university, I continued ... I have read thousands of books ... fiction, classics, biographies, special topics, et al.
@@whitecrow1949 that's awesome! Did you ever get around to The Count of Monte Cristo (Unabridged of course)?
@@vulpinemachine ... No. The list of good works that I have not read dwarfs what I have.
I used avoidance to cope with it. Really unfortunate but felt like the only option to avoid panic attacks and anxiety.
Makes it worse over time.
@@jonlately2668 Depends how good you are at avoiding things.
@@SlimThrullno it will chase you like a dog, you have to face it
It's just a matter of time for it to become ineffective -- just like the long time use of alcohol and other drugs. Then you got two difficult problems. We can't get away from our own thoughts from our own mind.
"I can never get away from me."
@@jonlately2668 i used to trigger panic attacks on purpose, did it many times until i was not afraid of them anymore and they were gone forever
I’m glad I found somebody that covered this. The more you know.
2:02 You are a precious human being, a tender soul! 🙏😊
Check your T-levels too, guys.
I have anxiety and got t in the 500’s now compared to 200’s I had before slightly less anxiety but higher t def brought out more aggression and anger and stuff like having the urge to drive way too fast
i sound either excited or angry whenever i get anxious especially when talking to strangers in person
Basically my anxiety disorder symptoms, but I'm the oldest daughter who inherited my father's rage. I screamed back just as hard at him, no peace or healing in that house for either of us until I left and never looked back. It's taken me many years to get to a point where I can accept that my anger was really just sheer terror.
This is so true, a lot of male anxiety manifests itself as Somatic symptom disorder. As a man who has suffered from anxiety i always get scary physical symptoms that come out of nowhere. I kept thinking I was physically ill and would go to the ER multiple times with chest pain, breathing problems. The hospital staff have got to know me and must think I'm a mental case.
The staff is right! Multiple symptoms of anxiety til ER visits is a mental case not a medical case. The proper referral is necessary.
Most males have more control
It's just so exhausting having the knowledge that no one will acknowledge this, even people that love you... It's so difficult, unbearable even...
I think that male anxiety eliminates itself when they drop the worldly things, like worrying about women and what they think.
Fascinating. Wholehartedly agree - I was always called "olympian calm" (French saying) but this year I realized it's a thick overlay of suppression, on top of deep seated anxiety.
On the other hand I had a har time focusing on your excellent words because you're gorgeous!
My wife with BPD seems to exhibit all the things you described when she is under any bit of stress, but only to me or other loved ones. She tries to internalize and hide these from coworkers, strangers, or anyone who she wants to only see the "normal" side of her. The rest of us in her life closest to her get the blunt of externalizing her anxiety.
It's called deer hunting, and it's a lost art. 100% cures anxiety, depression, hunger, ect.
As a non stereotypical man, I present symptoms for both male and female anxiety. This was interesting
Relatable. Curious: divorced family??
It _always_ good to see someone (( and they seem to be truly, not only intelligent, but qseemingly compassionate )) who _Gets_ It...
Depression is suffering in the past. Anxiety is suffering in the future. However, when you become aware of yourself in every "now" moment, you will notice that Depression/anxiety disappears. From there, you can still choose to perpetuate or solve, appreciate, and let go.
I like that.
Woah
Ever had a panic attack? Suffering in the present.
Correct if u have low level issues. Dissociation is the next level above that, wait until it’s so bad that u get lose it for a second but then dissociate so u can’t even tell what ur feeling, you can’t even be in the now moment
@@adrianmiles7678 they have no idea, wait until amnesia. they make cute feel good quotables, when some people with real trauma will never recover.
In the past few weeks (and right after my birthday, how cheerful) my job has been causing me so much anxiety it felt like my throat was closing. Every day I found it harder and harder to breath, less function. I eventually started taking half a Xanax every day to keep myself mellow, and I've recently made the decision to go back to therapy, despite owing money to them.
I hadn't considered that male anxiety manifests itself different from female anxiety.
Yes the physical affects! My anxiety / panic attacks would always come served with a side of nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, loss of appetite.
I had it for years until on day my wife begged me to get help. I’m glad I did. I’ve learned techniques to help me cope and meditation. I’m much more stable now
Weightlifting fixes 90% of this for me, personally, as a man.
Thank you loving your energy and your knowledge.
It's not a matter of social conditioning that men tend to present our anxieties (or feelings in general) differently than woman do. I was raised in therapy (I was suicidal at an early age) and despite the comfort and ease with which I can talk to people about my feelings, I still follow normal male patterns of emotional behavior. I understand that part of this insistence that it's all cultural is empathy on the part of women, but it comes across to me (and many men like me who have been telling y'all this for literally hundreds of thousands of years) that you're just not listening. We're not the same as you, you're not the same as us, that's kind of the point of a sexually dimorphic species. We just need to hold space for each others' differences, not pretend there ARE no differences.
💯 💪
Someone gets it. Men are not defective women.
@@AlbertBalbastreMorte That's a really good way to put that- I'm stealing it.
@@Tom-j1v it's not mine. It's been around since the 80's I think.
@@AlbertBalbastreMorte okay then lol
What we label Anxiety is untrained nervous energy, with commitment and meditation it can be turned around into creative energy , and used as self love and compassion for others , it’s not easy but I have done this myself , it is your commitment to your self that is the remedy not the rate of progress per se 👌 warm wishes
Awesome video, ma'am. Congrats, you said that very well!
Very accurate anger is a coping mechanism a relief valve shouldn't be suppressed by society unless it has actions involved
Fast heartbeat for no apparent reason, heart palpitations, intermittent (as opposed to constant) very high blood pressure.
Mine was initially diagnosed by a cardiologist.
Then it turns out there was loads of other stuff, some of which was a surprise and some of it was “well, dang it, I guess they were gonna figure it out eventually, guess I’d better deal with that too.”
Hey 29 year old male here. And in my experience, it’s the opposite. We usually bottle up all our anxiety until one day, some organ inside us bursts. And that’s it.
My generalized anxiety manifests in various forms, ranging from panic attacks to sneezing, and it has done so over the years. As I've aged, my lower energy levels seem to have curtailed these anxious expressions. I was born with anxiety issues, which have always been perplexing to me. Then, depression set in. Maybe more later.
Foreal. There was one point in my life where i was dealin with so much anxiety i couldn't shit for like 3 days. True story😔. That's when i truly understood the saying, "Scared shitless." Stay up kings, if you ever feel like your goin through some shit, just remember everyone's goin through shit and just keep pushin through💪.
I believe most male anxiety is internalised and completely hidden. It is for me, and listening to and watching other men, it's common to see "nothing," dispite knowing the severity of issues they're dealing with. It may be a natural masculine attribute, but it's definitely also trained, refined & honed by experience. We typically avoid expressing any anxiety because it isn't valued, or leads to worse reactions from women, who typically can't handle male anxiety.
Thank you for this video. I have cerebral palsy and I'm in a wheelchair which led me to getting excluded a lot and later on develop anxiety. I thankfully have worked through it for the most part, but I remember when I was a teenager I would often get nose bleeds when I was particularly anxious about something.
Excellent observations. You made/making/will make, using solid points with the chain of evidence, available at the time.🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟🤗
I hate saying I get severe anxiety, because it sounds like I'm trying to get special treatment, but it's becoming a serious problem for me. I find that it manifests as this tight feeling around the outer corners of my eye sockets and tightening of my facial muscles. Sometimes it gets severe enough I become extremely avoidant of people and eye contact, I'll just pretend I'm super absorbed into my work. But the thing is: I have coworkers who treat me like garbage, ones who will slander me and the others that just believe it without a second thought. I see the side eye glances I get from people and the hushed tones when I'm around and it just makes me want to crawl in a hole. I think the primary reason I became a target was because I secured a high paying promotion and I'm the smallest guy in maintenance now and people accused me of "getting pushed into the position" instead of earning it on my own merit. I recognize that I'm treated poorly because of their own issues, but its incredibly hard not to internalize what they're saying because I get that treatment from like half the staff. Each day it's becoming harder to determine if this anxiety is the result of my environment or if it's because of me not managing my mental state properly
She gets paid every time she says anxiety. Also, I took a drink every time she said it and now I'm,. what was I talking about?
Fascinating! I know someone like this. Seems to affect his breathing a lot lately!!
I love u captioned "male" if it was female 50% of women population would have offended
Unfortunately my experience of anxiety is heavily internalised. I don't externalise anything at all really, besides visually looking a little bit hesitant/nervous and word salad.
Thank you for looking out for us.
You are sooooo calm.
And the next stage above that is dissociation where u feel nothing then above that is low level DID, high level DID, psychosis, schizophrenia etc
The solution which is rarely highlighted anywhere, not even here on this video, is acknowledging
it and knowing that you'll have to continue doing what you're doing regardless. It's not ignoring the
issue. It's in fact seeing it as your friend you have to work with to tackle life and it needs your help
because it cant do it without you. It needs your help because it has no senses to work with other than
presenting itself otherwise it would have solved the problem without you.
Bar the substance abuse symptoms, all else matches exactly. I rarely have outbursts. I would say it's extreme intrrnalization: the symptoms become physical symptoms in my body-from GI issues to headaches.
Why always men are expected to consider other's feelings but why not others do that ?
I started like this before my last mental breakdown, I was quite irritable getting angry really easy with my colleagues, I started having pain on my back and ended (after me breakdown) to be extremely depressed. All this for a friend I have feelings for that after I confessed started to keep distance, acting rude to me, becoming closer to other people so the time we spent together she could continue spending with somebody and finally when she moved to another country asked me to not contact her anymore.
I know she isn't happy with the way she managed the situation (I could see on her face) but I don't think she'll contact me again cause she thinks it's for the best if we don't see each other never again.
I remember when I was in middle school, i was severly bullied because my family was poor. My anxiety was showing as a throwing up. Basicaly every morning, right before going to school i was running to bathroom and puking all what I have. Because of this I skipped breakfast, so i cannot throw up all this food (Because that was wasting). I lied to my parents that was because I eat to much before bed (that was also a lie, I didnt eat anything) I never told them truth, and I never will, they dont wanna listen or undestand. Thankfuly it stoped when I got to Highschool and met normal people.
This is why i hardly leave the house, i get tired of fighting everyone and everything that looks at me funny.
I didn't have anxiety before dating someone with severe anxiety. At least not at the same level that I do now. I've always been more on the introverted side, but I still had friends and went out and socialized. Now I'm too scared to leave the house most days, and when I do leave the house to get groceries or whatever, I go late at night when other people are most likely in bed.
The presenter is beautiful and kind. Had to say it. We all thought it.. don't lie.
Male anxiety is physiological rather than emotional.
true that
I didn’t even know I had anxiety until I went to the doctor. I kept getting all of these random symptoms and feeling like I was sick. I took all of these blood test, x-ray, ultrasound, and etc. They couldn’t find anything wrong with me
I show both anxiety that looks traditional and “male anxiety” as you put it, but not as much when I’m on 20mg of Lexapro
I've had anxiety issues since I was at school. It's cost me so much in my life by way of things I couldn't do or did badly not counting the secret anxiety inside myself. I've got and had many female friends and they usually don't get it. Not just male anxiety but anxiety on the not functioning going to pass out or throw up level at all. I think anxiety is something that it's impossible to understand if you've never suffered from it.
There is a fundamental issue when we affirm that all behavior comes from socialization, I think that for most studies it has been quite hard to separate which behaviors respond to just being human and which to culture, in the same way, a cat separated from the birth of his pack still goes to the litter, we humans have some inherent species behaviors that need to be acknowledged in order to improve.
Yes, that resonates. I should emphasize that my aggressions are almost never directed towards the other person, since they are not the problem. It could be that I say things like "If I get another bill from this company, I will threaten to kill them." (...for something I hadn't agreed to and a service I hadn't received. Eventually someone in a health care center called the company and the bills where revoked, but that's another story.) That is a desperate cry-out for help and what I mean when I say such that things is that I can't go on like this anymore and I am on the verge of destroying for myself (smashing the windows in my apartment, for instance) or even consider suicide. It's when everything has piled up for a long time without anything resolving and eventually everything just get too much. I am 46 y.o.; basically I have fought my entire adult life to get the need I help from society.
This is hard, because not even persons who are supposed to help me are always supportive. Even therapists often misinterpret my strong need to talk about what is going on in my life and they aggressively start to interupt me.
Even if she's trying to help, this was not way she's doing it so, there are much more good ways to represent herself...but she decided to show up...! Yes thats real women right there not human
Catorgerizing often leads to “funneling” if you will. There may be many that can relate to your situation or life experiences, although that only fills the void of 70, 80, or 90%. That other 30, 20, or 10% is all your’s. No one or nothing can take that away from you. It’s Your’s, You Own It…Yet you want to give it back. But remember, you own it. You control it when you think you don’t, you have it all. You’re the best at manifesting, you’ve already proven that with all the negative physical responses you live with. Now instead of using your abilities for fear, use them for your given right- Peace, Love, and Light.
I went through very hard situations, they diagnosed me with depression severe anxiety ,panic attacks, depersonalization derelzations
It can look like even as constant tiredness, criticism and isolation.
Also I have anxiety talking about it just makes it worse reinforcing the problem I find it's good to take my medicine and then distract myself
I already have a Chronic back injury with pain off the charts and that's what lead to my anxiety and I went the other way, I'll just meditate and shut down as to not make things worse because everything physically I do, it just adds to the pain and Not in a Good way
This might be true but I think it actually goes more like this.
With women; it’s worrying, nervousness, thoughts of impending danger, irritability, emotional.
With men; it’s “hey man how’s it going?” “Oh I’m doing good”, even though he’s not, he thinks, “everyone is counting on me I can’t fail! I might fail”
Us males who suffer in silence know that we literally are on a lonely road with one ending. Some lash out but that is because they are at the start of that road. it has not all sunk in yet. once it does they calm down.
No one cares about us. 11yr relationship ended my social circle is gone I reached out to old friends on FB and hear crickets. You can bet money my ex has no problems finding someone to listen to her problems. No one cares about men...
@TierNone_LarperatoR Can you find a support group? It's unfortunate your FB friends didn't respond :( Ideally your friends would have responded, but since they didn't, I recommend trying to find a support group for men. It will give you the opportnuity to share what's on your mind and meet other men, so you might form new friendships. Virtual groups could be an option too, if travel is a limitation. Churches can have good resources too, but it depends of that's something you're open to. Be wary of groups that might prey on vulnerability (i.e. exhibit cultish qualities). If support groups are difficult to come by, I recommend diving into a hobby. It's a great time to learn something new or read about a topic you wanted to know in greater depth. I attend open mic groups (comedy) on occasion; most of the audience and comics are men. They are hilarious and something to look forward to every month. You can be in the audience and/or tell jokes. Just some ideas. Hope this helped.
I wish someone had told me sooner that you don't need other people to process negative emotions. It's just more efficient when you have an outside perspective. Don't suppress those emotions, just relax when you're alone and look at the picture of your life as big as possible. Ask yourself why you feel that way and once you find the source, figure out if it's worth the stress and anxiety. If you can change your outlook on the problem, it becomes easier to mitigate the automatic stress response. If that still doesn't work, then ask yourself if the source of the way you feel is worth pursuing in the long run. If the answer is no, abandon it no matter the cost because sooner or later it's going to destroy you. If there is no way for you to escape it in life, you can always escape it in death. For some people, there really is no hope, and that's okay. Death is a natural part of life, and in my eyes there is no difference between passing from cancer and at your own hands when life becomes an unfixable curse. Sometimes life throws people curveballs they're not meant to handle. All that matters is that you did the best you could with what you had. Anyone who truly loves you may grieve, but would still understand that.
I think the human species would benefit tremendously from regular intense exercise a few times per week. As a 38 year old Dad of 4 young kids, I’ve never rebounded and felt better than before and after working out consistently with a small group. That said, I played HS sports and my wife and I were very athletic in our 20s … that all slowed down once we had kids. Only in the last few years have we started to get back to a regimented workout schedule, and the health and mental benefits are astounding. Long story short; get off the couch and go outside, stop worrying so much about what others think and take care of yourself. “Too blessed to be stressed”
Its not really different. Ive seen women express their anxieties in similar ways. Its just that different people handle it in different ways, but the overall different symptoms are the same.
This is because anxiety always comes on for the same reason for everyone. And that reason is always due to an unaddressed fear.
The Institute of Coaching is open to anyone with no degree or medical background required. I would suggest getting counseling or psychiatric advice from liscensed professionals or doctors. If you are suffering from anxiety or any other mental health issues, please see a counselor not a coach.
Both men and women internalise and externalise anxiety.
she said that. this video is saying men experience more externalized anxiety than frequently and severely than women do
Women use other mean to externalize such has blame, critics, dismissing others feelings. These are accepted in our society and anger/yelling isn’t.
Both are toxic.
We shall not negate one with the other
I don't know who you are or what your credentials are. But I just want to say that I'm very happy that people are starting to recognise that male mental health is vastly different to female mental health, and especially how we should treat it.
Huh.. I been having random stomach pains for almost 10-12 years now, and sometimes they feel like they're gotten worse.
i think we also need to take a moment and address the root cause of anxiety. in women, usually it's something like "i'm ugly, i'm fat, my husband said hi with a different pitch today, there's another woman, i have to file for divorce, need to find the next one, my child got abducted by aliens". for men it's more like, "getting punched daily at home, on the way to work, at work, on the way home, etc, my wife interprets that as if i dont like her, she has already moved on to another guy, now i have no house, have to pay alimony, and i have to suck it up and move on"
I get anxiety knowing that i can't talk about my anxiety with anyone because it's considered less masculine to have emotional issues. If we talked about our bullet wounds or knee injuries from contact sport it'd be considered good.
I do have diagnosed anxiety disorder because of the classic anxiety symptoms, but so do also have anger issues. Not so much at people, but at actions and injustices. Like, I do not want to hurt anyone, but I do want to yell and scream and use word to put them in their place.
There are women that also exhibit anxiety externally.
Men care about how people "think" [Future or Mind], thoughts, concepts. Women care about how others "feel" [present]... emotions. Both are required. Emotions are there to help "balance" the desire of Spirit & the demands of Flesh [Past. Memory. Wisdom.]
Guys need to keep moving, doing and being useful and productive to keep anxiety away.
Exercise can be a *very* useful outlet for anxiety. I love a great bike ride or even just a walk in the woods. Nature can be so calming too. But if we are just keeping busy to avoid our thoughts, *that is a problem* To be clear, not claiming that's what you were saying. Just that I've seen/done that behavior. suppressing our thoughts or emotions is always unhealthy in the long term.
Her eyes are up top but her subtitles are... in a nice location.
Is it exhausting to try that hard to differentiate?
I'd just like to point out that while this may be true for most males, there are bound to be exceptions to this rule.
Men mental health is deteriorating year by year ! No body talk about their suffering!
I don't find myself to have ever in my life been anxious... like the normal feeling of nervousness. I don't get that... I get more irritated and or maybe fed up...
Very interesting
Reading the subtitles with my wife in the room is giving me male anxiety. 😅
Big ol' sweater subtittles!
bruh
Her pronouncing anxiety as ack-siyaty is giving me anxiety.