The reason marriage has postponed is not because of smarter women. Its because the society has put up higher standards trough laws on requiring longer school years (Finishing Master degree) so they can get a license for a specific profession and even to simply get a job. Men use these statistics as an excuse to bash women for not stepping up to be better men and convincing women why they would be good partners and fathers. Women even get more enhancements look wise then men.
Smart women aren't single cause men are scared of them. Men fear no woman. Its just that this type of woman is opinionated, unfeminine, disrespectful, masculine and suffers from a cripplingly high sense of self value. Her hypergamy is off the charts and feels entitled to a god of a man. Noone wants to deal with those things.
@@GuidetteExpert i think is more than just one thing, is all of it combined, woman too need to be thaught, men as boys are thaught about their strenght, the equivalemt in woman is their toxic femininity, and tendency to obey, that is one point, another is as they say hypergamy, another problem of society is demonization of anyone that calls out the problem, another one is unwilingness of dealing with problems, and a very annoying tendency, is when people say, "is not what you say is how you say it", i get it, you can be polite, but what if there is no easy way of saying something? what if the only way to say it and not have it misunderstood, or taken out of context, "creatively interpretated" to fit your perspective, and the only real care is to be understood?
This episode inspired me to do my first ever YT "video"/ audio-file re the matter here: ua-cam.com/video/q9r8f_50PC4/v-deo.html Thank you for your content @chriswilliamson @chriswillx and giving us evermore to think about.
I dated a girl who made a lot of money and was very successful for her age. She wanted to talk about her job on the phone every night to the point where I would have to hang up on her to go to sleep at a decent time because she wouldn’t stop. I only cared that she was a hard worker, I could have cared less about her making the big bucks. I think some of the successful women try so hard to get to those positions, that it becomes their entire life. I knew the names of all her coworkers and bosses by first name within 1 month of dating and it ultimately became so annoying that I had to get out of it. I’m sure most people would consider me being too picky, but she was told multiple times to cut the shit.
My wife picked me when I was making $8 an hour at 23 years old. She is the truest most genuine loving person I know. I hit the lottery. Now I am able to give her the life she deserves all these years later.
@@Senorzilchnzero Well of course it wouldn't work in todays society. Lewis is probably approaching or in his 50's right now. Think back to the late 80's, early 90's. That type of money wouldn't get you much, but enough to pay rent and other payments and such. Women back then didn't have all of this social media stuff to dilute the field of men. It was all about who you knew and whom you met in real life. None of this stuff where you can see flaws and break people down.
The real problem? The devaluation of housewives in the eyes of society. Coming from a single parent and having a kid myself, I appreciate highly of any women who take care of her child without the help of daycare. There is no job in the world that has more impact to another person (the child) and more demanding (if you take care of the child right...). Most problems in society would not be there if people have good parents.
Modern society has a deeply entrenched market mentality that sees everything everything, even interpersonal relationships, through the lens of the market. Stay at home parents are deemed worthless because they don’t participate in the job market. I believe this to be the basis of all the dysfunction we see.
Our society (here in America) severely undervalues parenthood. Case in point: we are always happy to write a blank check to the DOD but we can't guarantee FMLA, and childcare relief is "too expensive" according to that dickwad Joe Manchin. We are trailing the world. An odd side effect of this will be underpopulation in 20 years. So much for "family values"....
@@gailainsley6939 That conversation requires being honest about why men aren't competing as much in or dropping out of the work force instead of simply whining that they are, but women never seem interested.
to be fair, as a smart guy, I would probably want a smart woman. I can't see myself putting up with someone who's dull, dumb or ignorant...especially if they have strong opinions to go with that.
@@marte1376 that's the silliest comment I've ever heard. Perhaps your comment comes from regional expectations but here in America, it's not either college or illiterate. I just don't believe in a blanket statement like "smart" because it implies that the opposite is "dumb". I've dated women with high school degrees and women with PhD's. The PhD wasn't necessarily the more engaging one. She was just good at regurgitating other people's thoughts. I'm more interested in someone's individual thoughts. That to me is far more attractive.
@@DieselVR6 Love your comment. Here there are a lot of people on university that are more dumb than eating an apple with a fork. I can recognize if someone is intelligent listening to a few of his/her sentences. A degree means nothing to me.
@@DieselVR6 These days having degrees/credentials oniy means you’re institutionalised. Which means you’re good at jumping through hoops and regurgitating stuff. There’s no real learning going on.
Every successful marriage involves some level of ‘settling”. No perfect person exists and this idea that not getting perfection is somehow ‘settling for less” is the worst delusion that feminism has taught women to believe.
I can't stop thinking about this episode. The rollercoaster of emotions & tangential thoughts it's incited are pretty intense tbh. Hard pill to swallow, but better swollowed than never acknowledged.
It's called The Red Pill. Women have been lied too for too long, Male and female nature is not a "social construct". These generation will be filled with cat ladies that didnt want to "settle" and blaming men for their loneliness
Smart women aren't single cause men are scared of them. Men fear no woman. Its just that this type of woman is opinionated, unfeminine, disrespectful, masculine and suffers from a cripplingly high sense of self value. Her hypergamy is off the charts and feels entitled to a god of a man. Noone wants to deal with those things.
@@rjflores438 yes of course you will find the occasional high iq female unicorn that can also be a good wife and even manage her own complex emotions and brainstorm of thoughts. Not the norm through.
I'm attracted to competent women and find it very alluring, always have done, but not if it's at the expense of femininity. To be honest in the UK most of the women I know like that and the 2 that I dated were aware of their feminine power and happily embraced it so there was never an issue. Also Eloise everyone is attracted to a confident partner (both men and women).
@@keylanoslokj1806 what makes you so entitled to having such high standards? and if you don't have such high standards, what is your solution to the problem? dying alone?
Regardless of genders, you should work hard and become independent in both financially& mentally before consider bring in someone into your life. If you don't know much about yourself, you will also feeling lost with your partner. Discover yourself first! Life is longer than you think.
I think alot of men don't consider that while there is a new 18 year old every year, most 18 year olds want to date men their own age or slightly older. If a young woman actively dates older men its because she wants the resources so you'll have to have money
Im 34 years old and i attract younger women a fair bit. Im decent looking, not rich by any means but im comfortable in who i am. I don't doubt many women date older guys for money, but i do believe many younger women like older guys fir different things other than resources
@@wayklm9471 oh it is true. I always liked "older" men. I.e. when I was 18 I fancied a man who was 23. I was pursued by a man of 32. Yuck! Old crinkly! Women like warriors. Warriors need to be fit and to be fit you need to be young and in your prime. A young warrior is a better hunter than a knackered old man.
So true, men don't realize the vast majority of women prefer someone near their age in reality because they always look at celebrity relationships. Stats say the first marriage average is 3 year diff, second marriage 5 year diff. Getting a 20 something year old woman when your 40 is extremely rare unless she's from a third world country or the guy is rich.
I'm surprised at men not liking smarter women on average, to me it's very attractive. My relationships with smarter women have always been better and lasted longer and I could never see myself marrying someone who I couldn't hold a conversation about interesting things with
It’s not about smart but highly educated and women pretend to be independent that’s a turn off for most men. Nobody wanna be with a dumb person either man or woman .
I think you confuse education with intelligence. while education and intelligence overlap, it can be surprising how stupid some people are who have a bachelor or master degree. education is not really a indicator of intelligence. also I think assuming, that someone who didn't decide or couldn't go to college somehow can't hold a conversation is quite ignorant and rude.
It's about how independent women behave when they fight at home. Fighting is normal. What is not normal is allowing minor differences to destroy the relationship.
Greatway to complete ignore the whole point of video , the point men don't care if u earn or not , men are not attracted to money u earn , it's not a desirable quality of a woman for men if he has to chose a life partner
@@Doc-hp5wf we didn't miss the point. We agree men don't care about women's ability to earn, they care about her looks but when it fades away and man loose interest women need that ability to earn for their survival
The problem is that historically throughout time, women have been at the mercy of their spouses by not having an independent severable income or assets in marriage. What the weathier party doesn't acknowledge is that the spouse that isn't working (and if they insist they don't work to raise children etc) does work which is economically valuable and literally per hour, the weathier spouse couldn't afford for the term of the marriage. Then on Divorce, its "you've taken 50% of what you didn't earn". Well that party has no pension, no income, no safety net because you as a spouse didn't factor in the total cost if their "domestic work" did you? (No of course not because, you wanted everything at reduced cost because you fundamentally see your spouse not working as being an inferior to you. Ive seen this over and over again and I worked continuously and still did the majority of housework and in fact ended up earning more because my ex husband wanted to gamble starting a business but refused to give up his dream to support me when I was pregnant (but still wanted me to give up my work when he had no income!!!). Essentially the party that has economic independence controls the other which doesn't. Despite Divorce Settlements, most women are fundamentally poorer than if they had remained working. Its simply not realistic or safe to tell women "don't work so your spouse feels some strange sort of ego boost for controlling you".
Too many people in the comments are misunderstanding women's "ambition" Women didn't choose jobs over families, they chose to be financially secure FIRST in case the men they end up with don't provide for them or the kids. We have seen this story play out too many times in the past to not learn from it. Men believe they hold the power in the relationship because they are making money, and women have to put up with abuse (physical or emotional) to have a roof over their head and food on the table. Why gamble with our basic safety and wellbeing needs by depending on another person when we are smart and capable to secure those needs for ourselves? Not all women are lucky in finding a good man who will treat her as an equal, even when she doesn't have a degree or a job. Not to mention once she has the kids and her youthfulness is no longer an asset, that's when men will look outside the relationship for the 18-yr old. Again, not saying every man will do this but its not uncommon. Women have the means and resources to not depend on anyone but themselves. It is unfortunate that the university and career timelines is heavily geared towards men's goals and completely ignores women's desire to have children as well as financial stability.
@@sunfish4095 You're misinformed. Women can't depend on men as not every man is what's considered a good man Women have figured this out a long time ago. They must provide for themselves
@Sun Fish Not even most men, possibly less than 25% Don't flatter yourselves. What you men perceive as good is not necessarily congruent with what women perceive as good
relationships are so strange. I think so much of it is down to your personality. some people always seem to be able to attract and keep the right partners but others just cant do it at all. The guys I am attracted to don't seem to like me and I don't like the guys who are attracted to me. it is also down to how you are brought up and how emotionally secure you were as a child.
You’re probably going to end up alone, but that’s not the end of the world, learn to accept it. I have, but maybe it’s easier for a guy, as we are generally brought-up to have lower expectations in life, or at least from what other people will provide for us.
@@stonemarten1400 men are less social than females and society sees it as being more socially acceptable for men to be alone. Women are criticized more heavily for what ever choices we make.
@@charlieweaver6322 I'd rather avoid getting too much into this as it is bound to start an internet fight. Just be careful of what conclusions can be assumed from certain data.
@@Maestroxxx1 But wild conclusions is a value judgment and making a suggestion that said conclusions are "wild", which is a term of dismissal, without any counter data or evidence is just a moral judgment.
That’s funny bc when I was dating in my mid to late twenties looking for a quality man who wanted a high quality woman as a stay at home mom & wife, the men were only interested in dating women who had high income careers so they could afford a beach house and two fancy cars. Not one man I dated was genuinely interested in traditional marriage & child-rearing.
"Education" is irrelevant, especially since everyone is getting a degree now. College degree are the new high school diploma. They just cost more, and look better on your resume. They used to be a good measurement for qualifications, but now they're more of a paper, versus any measurement of skill. STEM is one of the only exceptions, but affirmative action/political correctness, have lowered the value.
as a man I want a partner, not a gimmick. if you are 30+ a 18 year old is very unlikely to have your level of emotional intelligence and life-experience that, in my opinion, makes you an interesting person one would like to spend time with. I could elaborate in futher detail (lifestyle, interests etc) but that is at the center of what I feel applies to me and many of my friends. Most of us are 35 - 45 years old and we all have partners/wifes in our age group. Our "social status" can be described as academically educated and upper middle class in central Europe.
To me as a 21 year old woman, a man who dates a much younger girl is an immediate red flag ( a woman who dates a much younger boy too) because it usually means one (or more) of several things. 1) They are immature and no one their age can stand them 2) They are potentially controlling/abusive. Abusive husbands tend to get with their partners when the latter are young so they can control them more effectively 3) They are creepy dudes who hit on every female that moves and think that they're some Casanova for charming younger girls ( I had a 47 year old taxi driver try to flirt with an 18 year old me after he told me that I'm young enough to be his daughter 🤢🤢. Like seriously, how creepier can you be?)
Heres a fun fact 90% women who r single at whatever age r single by choice We aren't doormats to put up with non sense We don't need a husband or a boyfriend
@@oranged6703 is that a cope ? Strong , independent, being single are all masculine traits not feminine traits. So as females become more masculine, men are not attracted to masculine women, the consequences of such things is collapse of family , low birth rate, collapse of values, collapse of society ,economy and welfare system in general
Standards. Rich women want to check a ton of boxes including the guy has to be 6 feet plus tall, 6 figure salary, good body, great hair, fancy car. The list is extensive. A rich man just wants a nice looking woman and it truly doesn't even matter how much she makes.
@@keylanoslokj1806 exactly. I've been saying that for some time. So that there is little to no financial incentive for the waahmen to nuke their marriage.
@Yez Kex I fear CRISPER in a mix of corporations literally owning your DNA the fundamentals building blocks that make you You The prospect of man made diseases to boost company profits There’s a lot that can go wrong and unless the people raise up and tell them no it won’t get better
I was born in 1960, and so I remember how all the stuff in this video was standard advise given to young women. For most girls, college was a chance to earn a "Mrs." degree. Feminism battled this notion, and over the past 40 years has pretty much won the field, so that male mate preferences have to be rediscovered. I should say I'm gay, so I'm not invested in this particular battle. But there is a connection, in that being openly gay is all about exercising the right to discriminate when it comes to my romantic choices. We all do that, even if it goes against what we think we ought to do. Society should recognize that and let young people know that they may not be able to "have it all."
If I have a daughter I'd definitely want her to have her own family and also whether it would have some not so favourable consequences, I would love for her to reach her goals and if it includes having Phd, sharpening her mind- I'm all for it.
Have I missed something. Why are we not talking about men improving themselves, their education and sense of self. Any approach that requires women to dumb down and men not to excel in their aspiration and character is bad one. We should think in terms of gender adjustments within the wider economic and cultural landscape. We are both biological and socially driven the two interact and are inseparable. Things that can help us now. 1) If you want children Marriage should be valued and considered in your 20s not only at 30 plus. 2) Men should watching less porn it a major mess up of male aspiration, drive and mating potential. 3) We need a better level of gender communication than the immature ping pong insult of the different smarty pills. AI and the disappearance of jobs for everyone is here, and it will redefine work and gender relationships. It is time to forget the pills and focus on effective communicating. A much wider framework and less pessimistic debate would be helpful. There is a meeting point but we just have to find it together.
If a woman is conscious of hypergamous filter then there can be a taming of her own behavior. Its a part of human instinct for women before ppl jump on the morality. If a snake bites a hand, there is no insidious motivation for the snake, the snake is merely acting in its instinctual nature to defend itself. Women have a hypergamous nature because women are defensive creatures due to the vulnerability that comes with their physical stature compared with men due to the effects of testosterone on human development. They're hardwired to behave defensively. Morality is completely separate. Most women are not aware of their hypergamous filter, they simply unconsciously act out on that instinct because that instinct produces an emotion to be acted on. Its not that smart women or rich women don't make good partners. Its that they often disregard or refuse to acknowledge their hypergamous instinct because they've been trained to through feminism or other social conventions that teach women to embrace it rather than be careful when it appears. For women to feel secure they must look at a man with respect and admiration. Women are taught to value men based on success (which is why women often value themselves through that same lens) therefore anyone below her success level presents a danger to her security. Because of a woman's hypergamy, she will seek out the best man she can get based on her circumstances at the time but the higher she elevates, the smaller her pool of mates becomes, not to mention she is getting older and her prime fertility window is fading away which means the mates she desires may not desire her. If women can tamper her hypergamy, it presents better future options but that is rare in today's age with such easy methods for divorce and a culture that promotes human's being liberalized from their impulse control. Hypergamy is not a straight jacket (RT) though, since women who are conscious of it and men who still below in the socioeconomic arena can still find ways to find mates. Hypergamy is also a mindset. Stedman and Oprah were together for many years and he was not as high up success wise as her but in Oprah's mind, Stedman was the alpha because he kept his dominant frame and she felt comfortable submitting to him. The concept of submission is hypergamy. A woman submits her defensive nature and tames her hypergamous filter. A woman optimally wants to be with a man that she loves, trusts, admires, and respects, and someone she can believes in but she doesn't want him to abuse his power.
Its more complicated than that. Women are earning more than ever before. This means that their standards go up for a potential partner of course. The problem is if men do better, earning more and more, that only exasperates the 'gender pay gap'. Women simultaneously want equal pay but they want a man to out earn her. But if all men outearn there women there will invariably be a pay gap
Intelligence also means understanding the polarity needed to make a relationship work. Being educated is not the issue, knowing when to turn it off and relax in your feminine is the issue.
It's not all that simple, my relative has a phd and postdoc in physics, her husband also has both. They have a lovely kid. Degrees should not be a factor, people either capable of building relationships or not. Period.
It is that simple. Your relative is the exception not the rule. Most of the traits for sucess are inherently Masculine and make you women less attractive to us. You also aren't willing to accept less than you want so you artificially limit your dating pool to men that are most likely going to bang multiple babes at once. It's simple biology, physiology and basic human nature. Exceptions do exist but they are rare and not the norm.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 unagreeableness, confidence, etc. It's not necessarily going to make you less attractive. It's just more common in men. It's why women get paid less sometimes. They are less likely to demand raise. Boss bade attitude is truly repulsive to most men
A fitting joke I heard: Imagine a department store for women shopping for men. The rules are that they you can only go in the up from one floor to the next. On the 1st floor are men with jobs; On the 2nd floor are men with jobs who like kids; On the 3rd floor are men with jobs who like kids and are willing to do partake in household work; On the 4th floor is a sign at the top of the escalator that says 'You're out of luck because you're never satisfied!"
there is also an extension of the joke for men. first floor is beautiful women, second is beautiful loyal and funny I think. and the third floor? nobody knows, because no man has gone that far yet.
The question is about relationships vs reproduction. There are plenty of young women out there that are single mothers because men achieved their goal of reproducing, but choose not to stick around, or even pay child support. These are now "behind the 8 ball" because they have children and most men do not want to raise some other man's child.
WRONG. The nonsense you speak of about men not sticking around or even paying child support? Please. If men don't pay child support, they go to jail. Period. And many times it's the woman kicking the guy out and denying him from seeing his kids. And don't get me started on the unjust divorce a d family court systems that heavily favor the woman and rake the men over the coals. And by the way, if these men are doing as you say they are, what does that say about the women who choose to have sex and get pregnant with these guys? It's a bad decision on her part and she bears responsibility because it is women who decide who they have sex with. They are the gatekeepers.
@@cfpzona don't you think that blaming "only" those women wrong too. Like if you shaming someone for not taking responsibility then the scenerio which she presented in that cases both parties are wrong. Women might be gatekeepers of sex but men are gatekeepers of commitment. So in this case both men and women are wrong. I am assuming you are a man who don't like hate towards your gender. Very well. Men are lovely people and they should not be generalised but I am just making a point without hating on my favourite people (men).
@@pratikshatiwari7011 men are not the gate keepers to anything including commitment. It’s easier for a woman to find a husband then it is for a man to find a wife. You came to that ridiculous conclusion by taking a male supermodels with height of 195cm+ and you compared him to below average looking woman. No wonder why you think men are the gatekeepers.
@@grizzlybear2702 naah i said that Because that's true in my country. In my country after divorce more men get married than women and also widow remarriage is discouraged and punished here
I'm sorry, men. This is grossly one-sided. 35-year-old women are not "competing" with 18-year-old women, unless they are going for emotionally stunted, immature men.
I have met a few successful carrier women and I can only talk for myself but even though they were pretty they sent some strong "masculine/domination" vibes. It is clearly not what I would look for in a lifetime relationship, I have enough bosses to deal at my work:)
I can imagine that. I was thinking about it lately and in my opinion the reason might be that many of those women are probably single for a long time and have to be very independent and hard working, so they become more dominant because they have to do it to survive, but it doesn 't mean that they will act the same in a relationship. Trust me, many of those women dream about a trusted partner so they can finally let go and show their loving, warm side.
@@YourMoonShine "Trust me, many of those women dream about a trusted partner so they can finally let go and show their loving, warm side." Sure, And I have been with some woman with a much "warmer" side in private than in public live. But it remain a turn off to me. I prefer smiling, live-loving person if I have to share my life with.
It's great to be confident and successful,just know how and when to cooperate vs compete,turn it on and off depending on context(not sex). That advice is for both sexes.
@@marianemashkalo4182 "It's great to be confident and successful,just know how and when to cooperate vs compete,turn it on and off depending on context(not sex). That advice is for both sexes." Sure but that is not what I look like in a life long life partner
I think the real question that is never asked is "WHY" do men work so hard and why do they see value in when they do it vs when women do it? Well, generally, men do that stuff for a WOMAN. Specifically to get a woman and to take care of her and their future kids. Women work hard and do all that for THEMSELVES. That's why a man doesn't want a "Boss bitch" or however the guest so elequently put it.
Women also work and build wealth for the security of their kids. We have a collective memory of being left destitute with little to no options when a husband died, abandoned the family, or ended up in prison. That has been the most important reason for the fight for equal opportunity in education and employment: financial independence means financial security.
I'm 31 yo woman, and I'm scared. I'm not even a rich bitch boss, just independent and economically stable, and when I try dating men my level or upper it seems like they are absolutely turn off by the fact that I can make decisions, that I'm not dumb, that I have topics to talk about... its like always a "you are reeeeeaaaally nice but" I'm not even ugly and I look at least 6 years younger (for real), I just don't go out half naked as most of the 20something girls... I was thinking a lot about turning into some very smart rich person to see if that can make me closer to the circle of people I would date but it seems that they don't appreciate it.
So sorry. I am 23, but i still plan to be independent and economically stable asf. I am just psychologically wired to take my survival and means of living very seriously. Our gender is better at being lonely. So i am glad about that.
Sorry, but no man is turned off by you not being dumb or being able to make a decision. That's like a man claiming "all the woman are just turned off by my emotional stability and ability to communicate effectively"
It may be different for super alpha type chicks that are VPs for major corporations but the marriage rates are higher and the divorce rates are lower for women with more education and income levels. Socioeconomic assortative mating is happening at much higher rates than in previous generations. Most well educated men want a well educated women who makes a decent income so they can raise a family in the best neighborhoods. If you have a stay at home wife you are living pay check to pay check unless you are a top 3% earner.
Even as a top 3%, do you want to significantly reduce your lifestyle and you children's life to support 4 people on 1, albeit high, income? I sure as hell don't. Also, unintelligent people are incredibly boring, so, I have no idea how that works long term.
@@z987k yeah, narcistic "smart" people are way different. me and other the "dumb" people are just happy enough with smart enough spouse that can function and do each of our duty.
If you are woman watching this, do NOT be dissuaded. The most important thing is your character, and you will find someone, whether you think you're smart or not. Join a gym and go skiing, stay out of the bars, play hard to get. It is timeless and easy to catch a keeper.
Playing hard to get isn’t attractive when it’s a woman doing it. It’s attractive when a woman has respect for herself and knows what she wants(when it’s reasonable and not some fairy tale shit)
This problem was discovered long ago an religion created a solution: don't have premarital sex, marry young and marry your own age. This will prevent almost all problems discussed in the video. In religious communities, smart and rich women get married all the time. The real problem is that the university system and job market are ageist. Universities need to change so that women can study while having kids. Have kids young, work part time and build a career later on. Women can have it all, just not at the same time.
🤣 You arrived at the same position as me on this subject. Redpill: You have to be dominant with women for them to like you Religious men: Wait, you guys weren't doing this already?? God didn't make stupid rules
@S ess What you're saying is true but also on the flip side older women are complaining they can't find a partner to commit. It goes both ways. If men don't like the available options they stay single as well especially since men bare more of the investment in a relationship/marriage unless there are kids involved.
@S ess What you're saying is partially true. From observation on Bumble/Tinder once you get into the 27+ year old range, which is coined by Rollo Tomassi as the "epiphany phase", you start finding a lot of women want relationships and almost all over 30 do. I'm not sure if you consider these women younger but I do. There are new stats published that show 28% of men between 18-29 have not had sex in the last year versus 18% of women, so at least in that demographic women are more sexually active. In the age range you are referring to it may be possible as those women are more selective and wanting to settle down. I agree that a lot of men under 35 are playing the field. I'm one of them but ethically. I'll tell you why. When I was 22-27 I was still establishing myself and didn't necessarily have the resources to invest in myself yet, so I couldn't buy the highest quality food and supplementation. I couldn't groom and style myself as well, so dating wasn't bad but it wasn't great. Over those years I worked as an accountant after graduation and made a good salary and started buying only organic food and grass fed/organic meat along with expensive lab tested and pure supplements like spirulina, chlorella, ashwaghanda, astaxanthin, etc. amongst many others. I noticed changes in my physical appearance (more masculine) and greater skin complexion and elasticity. I was then able to train harder and smarter and optimized my hormone profile. I go to an upscale barber and style my beard and hair nicely. Invested in nice and stylish named brand clothing. A lot of this started in the 25-27 age range. I then became owner of a business with over fifteen employees at 27 and have accrued a large net worth into my low 30s. So now at 34 I have been able to maintain a nice physique and grooming along with a very nice house and car. My confidence and social proficiency is through the roof and women notice it. So in essence at my age it's very easy to date women 25-30 because I've realized my potential, and a lot of these women are willing to commit. That's why when you guys say younger women don't want older guys I kind of question it, but I am in a different situation. Since men and women derive fulfillment and experience relationships differently in life we tend to want to settle and start families at different times. What makes men more appealing in terms of marriage takes a little more time since we are the ones that bear the larger burden of performance, and when we accomplish it we tend to want to pursue our biological desires in the same way women do. Also one other big factor is female sexual liberation. There are so many women that are willing to casually date and have sex that it allows men to not necessarily need to be traditional and chivalrous anymore to have access to dates and sex. So when women want to settle down and start expecting chivalry, investment, etc. to have sex or to continue dating the men are like well there's another woman willing to do so with a lower emotional and investment cost. So for women who don't want commitment dating is easy, but when they flip the switch and want commitment from a man they're finding men are taking the road with the least resistance. It's tough but the younger women are partially ruining the game because they are less traditional which is what men like when it comes to dating because it's easier. It's hard to find a man now that has his stuff together that is good looking that is willing to settle, especially if they're younger. I appreciate it, and same to you as well. I'm definitely on the same page. It seems like society is only progressing in technology and business but not overall with relationships, health, and happiness. That's why I try to understand everything on a primal and instinctual level and pursue scenarios that have a high probability of succeeding.
I personally find that the more intelligent a Women is, the more attractive she is. This study is not the decider of you're destiny. Surely the reason to get educated and get a career is to do just that anyway? The study was done on averages so the men that were used for the statistics were average men so if you don't want an average man you'll be alright. One more thing, as Stephen Hawking said "People who brag about their I.Q. are losers" and just because someone isn't successful now doesn't mean they won't be successful later. Actually sorry one more thing, don't get a family then get a career because you won't have time for a career by the time you've done that! That's not to say men shouldn't be perternal, it's just obviously there are biological factors involved.
There is no one successful woman who have relationship with average man while there are numerous successful men who have fulfilling relationships with an average woman.
Haha I have a chat group with many women that fit the description. Contrary to popular belief, none of them have any issues meeting men. As long as they are attractive (not just talking about appearance, but appearance does play a big role), they never have any issues.
Thank god I’m content with not having any of the things I’m “supposed to want”. Ive never felt the urge to marry or have kids and to be honest if my likelihood goes down with the rise in my success all the better 😊. Good luck to everyone else in the rat race hoping to find whatever it is they’re looking for.
@@Noname-rq1hr you just don't like what they're saying because it's relevant to your life so you're trying to dismiss it by attacking their character, shame on you
Most women change their minds around their 30's, it's biology. Just pray you're the exception to that statistics or you'll hit the wall and there's no turning back
Unspoken here? I have a grown daughter and one day it just occurred to me that women are not particular concerned with how men look. Say, compared to how men see the good looks of women. When I asked her if women really cared if men were handsome with gym-ripped bodies, she just laughed and said "Of course not!!" - Witness Bill Gates and other nerds who find the "right mate." As my mother always said: "There's someone for....everyone."
this is utterly stupid lol. would you want your wife to desire other men? or even act on it? also numbers are showing there isn't someone for everyone. but that's too pessimistic for anyone to actually notice.
Men's Olympic swimming is one of the highest viewed events every time the summer Olympics comes around. That's not because people are huge fans of the sport.
In the search for a life partner, take your time, even if, as a woman, you may have already been listening to your ticking biological clock for some time. Get to know who you are and what you really need to be happy. Create your very own ideal relationship model, write it down and put it as a message in a bottle on some social media. Life is a lottery where most people have to settle for very modest gains. I know what it is to be above average and the very high statistical probability of never finding a match. Thank you gentlemen for a substantial exchange on such an emotional subject.
What to do about it? Ladies, get your marriage and your kids while you're young. It may seem counterintuitive, particularly for those of us who come from poor backgrounds, but at the end of the day, you can't politically correct human nature. My husband and I got together and had our kids in our 20s. Once they were old enough to look out for themselves I went and finished my Bachelor's. Now that they're adults I'm going for my Master's, and I'm barely in my 40's. So educational and financial ambitions can be achieved, just in a different way. I could've waited to find someone that would be able to support me as a stay-at-home mom, but first, that was never in my nature. I like having my own money particularly since I personally know women that are stuck with abusive husbands due to a lack of their own finances. Second, most women who don't come from wealth have usually had to work anyway. We did have to tough it out a few times but it was worth it. He is a good man, strong, supportive and his family is his priority. I'll take that any day before a wealthy man who's so busy with work he barely sees his kids. Or running around making a new baby mamma every time he's on a "business trip". It was his support that gave me the stability to pursue my ambitions. I could've also waited until after I achieved my educational and financial goals to find a husband, but I've known women who have done that and it's scary. Everything from not being able to conceive, to not being able to compete to trying to combat loneliness with a dog. Being 40 and lonely is not a flex.
If women are being advised to settle for men that they might be unattracted to, why can't the same be true for men vying for younger and fertile women? Can we ever achieve that level of prudence and sacrifice from both the sexes???
I get your point but your are basically telling ppl to also do hard work and settle. Ppl do hard work so that they don’t have to settle, and that goes for both sexes. I feel for you but life and society fking sucks!!
@@bruhaspati560 I am not expressly saying that with emphasis. I am just implying that the playing field can be fair and just to both the sexes. Everyone is working hard so that they get what they desire and deserve, but the field seems inordinately rigged for high achieving and career arching women. I just want a levelled situation for all of us. Have a good day! 👍
Because average to decent for a woman equals unattractive. Men still needs to out-earn women to even get the foot in the door and the only way to do that is to date younger. Why? Because women of the same age as the older man are most likely making more than the man today. That is why back then people married earlier and the age range usually is pretty close. Hence older women did not exists or if so were less likely to happen because it was frowned upon. So this brings us back to the women out earning men wont even settle so these men have a say, once they make it, they can choose as well. And most likely they will choose young. Its part of the game.
@@garljr and most women will choose high earning dudes. It's nature, stop complaining when women are being openly hypergamous. You're so hypocrite. If you're not willing to humble yourself you're not worthy to any women despite her age.
It's called double standards, this shows only allows us to see true nature of man and why you should have standards more than ever. Every red flag you see in a dude, drop it. Whoever doesn't want to settle and humble himself doesn't worth anything.
Wrong. Being a smart woman is a requirement for me....I'm not wasting my time with a chick who is dumber than Jim Carey and Jeff Bridges in Dumb and Dumber. I need to be able to have an intelligent, thought provoking conversation with the lady I'm doing the dirty with in order to stick around.
I've always been one to want ambitious women. That being said, I think I took the perfect route (for me). I am a medical student, but so is my fiancée. We started dating when she was 22 and will be in our careers by the time she's 30. On my end, I get someone who I can trust because she is with me at my lowest, and on her end she gets to build a relationship DURING the education and we can settle down once we're done with our studies. We certainly can't have it all but I think this is the best choice given the circumstances.
The problem is we all settle in some way. The average man has to understand that he may not get the most beautiful woman. The average woman has to be okay with not getting the most successful man. It seems as if the media is terribly misguiding people on how to choose a partner. We all look for superficial things instead of looking for people we are compatible with. This is the reality of most people. If nothing else, it sucks to be average.
I'm fairly intelligent, well-educated, and have a decent paying job. On top of that, I bagged the most incredible, handsome, and successful man ever so...yeah. Did great for me.
@@basicfilmblog yeah society used to actually function in 1943. It doesn’t anymore birthrates in the western world are well below replacement of population. Marriage rates are the lowest in history and divorce rates higher than ever. 2022 is a disaster demographically
Do I want to have a man who prefers physical attraction to other qualities like experience, intelligence or mature love when it comes to marriage? To be honest in that case Ill stay single. It is the best alternative to a world driven by senses instead of spirit :-) I dont know in England, but in Germany people are having their children at 30-40 years old. Before that men and women concentrate on career.
Same in india Coz in india Both in love and arrange marriages Doctor men marry doctor women engineers marry enginee women Actors marry female actors Etc etc
It's the same in Argentina. It's weird to see girls in her 20's wanting to be a mom/spouse. Four of my friends have the "first kid" this year, and all of them are 35/36.
Some of the stuff Chris has talked about has been too uncomfortable for me, but not this. This is beautiful. Think of how much more amazing it is when you've finally found someone knowing what is stacked against you.
Can you explain a bit more please?? Like I am ready to marry a man who is not that intelligent. It's just that our political opinion should match and he has some interest in a field. It's fine if he is an artist and doesn't works too. So am I wrong here?
@@pratikshatiwari7011 i have to ask... why ask for input on a major life choice from a random stranger on the internet? I understand you want to get married but to what end? And to too it off, with a guy you described as “not that intelligent” ...how do you think you will feel spending the rest of your life with him? Can you picture the both of you raising children and over coming life challenges thrown at you? Best of luck with your decision.
While these stats are interesting, they don’t really matter. What isn’t being poled (and what actually matters) is how many married people are happy, what their heights are, and what their IQs are. This would be the integral data. I want to win the lottery, but just because I want something doesn’t mean I’m going to get it. Settling for your mate is nothing new, people have been doing it since the dawn of humanity. You are never going to get everything you want or think you “deserve” in life. The point is to choose the best for the situation you find yourself in and be at peace with the choice you made. The idea that men don’t have the option to settle is ridiculous. I know a lot of guys married to idiot women or Karen’s who settled pretty hard to have a family. They could have found better/kinder women, but they chose those women also. Personality is a much bigger reason why someone is in a relationship or not. Contrary to popular belief, you can be in a relationship as a woman and get an education, and if you don’t, it’s your choice.
I think this is correlation not causation. A woman with higher drive and iq is more likely to lead to choices that put off her setling until her late 30's. This goes back to fertility. A smart, driven woman who wants a family in her early 20s will have a very easy time finding a partner. I would argue, that if would be easier for her. Men are definitely attracted to traits of higher, intelligence and ambition, attractive. It's just that these qualities are overshadowed by age and entitlement... which ARE encouraged by our modern, culture.
The solution is, perhaps, easier than expected: Family first, go for a career later. But I guess the university system and the government wouldn't like to lose naive girls making loans for useless degrees, right?
This is exactly what needs to happen of course. Women can always go for family first, career later. But if they decide on career first, they may not even get the chance to do family later because they have a biological clock plus they have higher competition for a mate at 25-29 and are going up against women that are 18-24. It's not nearly as bad as they think, but those younger girls have a massive edge over them (1 year difference in age is the difference in being able to have an extra child, which is massive). Women marrying and having children younger means that they can stop having kids in their late 20's and ultimately end up going back to school at age 30 when the children are in school. The only problem is that not all women can do this since a lot of men aren't exactly making a lot of money to help their own family. Hell, most men can barely afford an apartment. Inflation has impacted the modern family. No longer can a blue collar worker afford a family. He can barely get by on his own, sparing a few luxuries like new tech and maybe a slightly better car, much less support another human. The way money has been impacted over the last 50 years has basically made it so women HAVE to participate in the job market, whether they like to or not. That said, the best thing that can happen is that these young women look up to men in their 30's that have said money and their finances sorted out. They can no longer look to men that are younger and making just enough to get by.
@@hannahlang4703 I know a lot of women, making good money and go down the sperm donation routes. Have a family and not have to partner up with a lower status man. It is ok to move through life as a single Mom.
@@kismet256 purposely choosing to be a single mother is deplorable. That child will be disadvantaged in every conceivable way. Including lower IQ, more likely to be depressed, commit suicide, be homeless, go to prison etc. a child needs two parents and a child’s well-being should be paramount.
@@UserName-ii1ce Are you living in the 90s? 300k after taxes is 150. Middle class living expenses with a family leaves you saving 50k a year if lucky. Then wait 10 years to buy a house, only to find it's gone up. You could hope to buy 2, max 3 in a working lifetime. I'd say a skilled builder working on side projects as well as his regular job could achieve the same in the same amount of time. Remember, the lawyer only makes more because of artificially complicated laws. They could be simplified enough that lawyers wouldn't be necessary, but we'd still need houses.
2:20 It's completely fair given that while they're in their prime most men are invisible to them. It then becomes their turn to become invisible when they're older. And it's not like it happens all at once, they can still get a guy, just not as many or as high quality as they could when they were younger ignoring most men.
But guys, this isn't a problem. Women don't want quantity, they want quality. With the state of divorce, men marry equity partners - the educated ones do anyway. Finding ONE good guy is the prize. Dating is for loosers 🤣
My wife is 6ft tall and taller than me. She decided that going for tall guys only was limiting the pool. That was when she was about 18. Of course, she is smarter than the average bear, by a lot. But she is an exception. The weird thing is when women have commented on it (it's only women) like they are going get my goat or something. I treat them like the idiots they are.
@@pratikshatiwari7011 A grown woman thinking they can get under my skin by pointing out that my spouse is taller is obvious still 9 years old mentally.
It seems a lot if this comes down to narcissism and a lack of self awareness. If you're not attracting the cream of the crop that you think you deserve, either lower your standards or just learn be happy alone.
Women date up, not down. Those who achieve a level of wealth and status are invariably going to demand a man even higher than her, which reduces prospects to single digit percentage.
Which is not your problem basically. Unless you know you have to humble yourself in your pathetic list of I want a young and fertile lady, there's no incentive for ladies to reduce those standards with men. Your basic response is "that's how nature works" so there you have it
What's the problem in women dating up, apart from being a hypocrite if she is a feminist who believes in gender equality and doesn't believe in gender normative roles. In fact a self respecting man with even an iota of male ego must not date up, for what value you bring in that case as a man, maybe as a human being and spouse, but nothing as a man and husband, if you are not the primary protector and provider. You can't be a protector of someone more powerful than you and you can't be a provider of someone who earns more than you.
Morale to these statistics is young women are better to marry earlier and do their graduate education after their children are teens. Or like one I know marry a man she met at an awards ceremony for people on the Dean’s list.
@C D being a single parent rather than establishing a stable family based in marriage and a monogamous relationship is sadly foolish. It also rather blows out of the water one of the conclusions of the podcast that women aim up and therefore many men are “out”. Obviously too many males are mating without commitments and women are ok with it or there wouldn’t be so many children born into unstableness.
It's better for women if they have a career and marriage at the same time. If she works after she will work until she dies. If she gets her career early she can retire with a pension. Who wants to work forever? Looming after her husband and her family then getting and education and career? It never stops for her yet he can retire.
@Wylee Coyotee I’m not sure your premise is correct. Women on average are able to have children from mid teens until around 40-45. If a woman gets an advanced degree she will start her career at about 24-26. That leaves about 25 years of working under high stress conditions, juggling pregnancy and work or waiting until near the end of those years to have children. Women I’ve known who married and had their children after undergraduate or high school graduation and then, when the children were mid teen or so returned to their education had more mature goals and much more satisfying careers. They aren’t doomed to work the rest of their lives but free to if they wish. Another alternative is a work place willing to accommodate parents who need to cut back on hours or commitment while their children are young without leaving the workplace entirely. I know two women who were research physicist who were able to share heading research projects while starting their families because they were valuable enough to their lab for accommodations to be made.
this video is great and helped me feel heard. I don't think it's a bad thing to learn to be humble and realize material things means shit. also men are not that superficial, they are looking for someone to care for them too not just her career . it ain't bleak as it looks. also I am highly successful and single yet I am excited by the freedom to meet so many people. singleness can be a privilege too.
I don’t think it’s the woman’s fault all the time if she’s not married by 30 plus. In today’s society we’ve pressured women into making a career for themselves and with all the talk of feminism and toxic masculinity the men have become lazy in getting educated whereas the women are getting educated and furthering there careers. So once a woman does start to look let’s say around 25 she’s more aware and mature in what to look for a man in a marriage, whereas a woman who marries young around 19-20 she’s clearly not looking into what any requirements needed for a man besides the fact she’s happy she’s got a interest from a guy and all they look at is the appearance.
@@bibaolaitan5189 hes saying its not the woman's fault. That implies she has no agency. No self control. Things just happen to her and she has no choice.
It's so hard in today's society, our default mode as women is to be career driven because it's difficult to find men who want to commit and who's values and morals are aligned with yours. I'm 22, never dated or had any Romantic thung in my life, I've spent years just craving connection and love but I'm terrified to put myself out there because I'm scared of men, with all I've seen friends and family go through I genuinely don't trust anyone, I'm scared that I'll never allow myself to love and be loved . I've grown up in denial mode always saying I'm happy single and I don't need a man, the truth is I feel lonely a lot, I see so many friends in 4 year plus relationships, aince high school, and I want that. I want someone to share moments and life with and eventually build a family with, and I've gotten to a point where I feel so hopeless like it's never going to happen. So I decided now to just fully put my head down and focus on my career, and just avoid putting in any effort to potentially find a partner because it just seems like an endless pursuit of wishful thinking that's never coming true...
@@palesamphatsoe959 but that's the issue. Men don't care about your career. Its great you want to make something of yourself, but by the time you're ready to find a man, the man you're going to want isn't going to want you. You need to pick a guy when youre both young and build together. Youre gonna look for a man who's already built himself up and he might like you but there's a cuter younger version of you that works at McDonald's and the guy doesn't care. We date down all the time. Women just dont. Society lied to you.
This isn't really a dilemma if you take into account another asymmetry: men want to date many partners, women are looking for the right man. It might come from evolution. Males can have many babies with many females, while a female has a limited amount of "shots" to continue here gene line. She'd better find the guy with the best genes and who's the most likely to provide.
There's an anecdote that's been around for a while: "How does a smart girl get married? The answer: play dumb." So lots of this has already been common folk knowledge so to say. Unfortunately, the IQ of children born follows the IQ of the mother, and conscientiousness trait is also inherited, so smart hard-working women not getting married and not reproducing would lead to a society having fewer smart and hard-working kids.
just do as humans as well as all creatures on this earth have done, adapt and survive. cant find a mate on your level? lower your standards until you can. refuse to lower your standards? learn to cope with being alone for the rest of your life, get a pet or make some friends etc. Humans are great at adapting, you will eventually make peace with your decisions and live out the rest of your life just fine.
The real question is: "Why do rich women not want to provide for their partner, unlike rich men?". The answer for that is the answer for all societal problems since feminism.
I think biggest problem romanic dynamics do not work like sexual dynamics. Romance is base personalty. Sex is base social status. The problem is certain personalties like doing certain jobs. So ENTJ women to get married likely have date down because her mate likely INTP male. INTPs are likely to earn less money than ENTJs. A women can work on career while having family. The problem is she usually can't marry career man. Some women who can date down will pass down their genes. As each generation pass less women will care about the mans money. Or it get point where all women has to date down which some women do in matrilineal societies which women have all the wealth.
I agree with you so much. I am now finishing my PhD, I am married. In my previous relationship we were both very career focused and that was creating problems all the time, with my now husband he is willing to move to where I go next, and to work less than me while I follow my passion and career. And I am much happier with him. Is just find what works for you, that might be totally different than what society thinks you should have. Also he is the hottie one... so I don't feel that I settled in any way, most of days I just feel super lucky to have found him.
Masculine women need to find feminine men, they might be compatible. The woman can earn and pamper her man, the man can just be a hottie and enjoy life. Just that being a hottie is the only value he can bring while a stay-at-home woman can bring more value as a child-bearer, apart from being pretty.
There’s more tall women who will date average height men then there are average height men willing to date tall women. Same for IQ, age, success. Men are refusing women more often than they let on (or are aware of).
One seems interested in me, I like her too, but i can sense we both don't know sure if we're good enough for each other. I get close, she pulls away, I leave her alone, she's after me... she's very educated, tall, and good-looking. She runs circles around me in her achievements as to mine. I'd never thought I'd be in this situation.
This makes sense of the " Dumb Blonde Stereotype as a dating strategy. An attractive woman may hide how very smart she is, to interest men who are wealthy, but not nearly as bright as She is. I was fortunate to a pair of MIT grad students. The wife was studying some exotic form of geometry at the PhD level. Her husband was getting a Master's in computer and electrical engineering, I believe. If the Lady had looked for a more educated spouse, she would have missed out on her marrying her husband. I hope they are well today, I lost track of them decades ago.
I'm married to a woman who is quite intelligent. We both are. I love her dearly and wouldn't trade her in for anything, but she isn't exactly the most agreeable person in the world. Ever decision has to be an argument that I can't win unless I want to upset her. Even when I know I'm in the right. This is what you don't get with less intelligent, more agreeable women. Of course you also have to look to your friends for intelligent discussions with them, because they won't give you that. As I said, I have no regrets.
🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩your sacirifices You keeping ur ego aside and letting ur wife win even tho she's wrong Is what makes u a gentleman and s kind She is very luck she found u N u r lucky u found herb
@chris roy Scientists report that we are in the 6th extinction era on the planet. The 2100 Report has been out for some time. The Human Race has 80 years left before the extinction event occurs. Yellowstone is a super volcano, with 2 mega chambers, that will erupt. This will cause from the Rocky Mountains to the west coast to sink into the ocean followed by a long and sever volcanic winter. Get ready because it is coming.
@chris roy You are so sweet! Thank you for such a lovely comment. You've made my day. Unfortunately, I am old enough to be your grandmother and I am involved with a very intelligent, sexy, and loving man.
@@lastapparatus6024 - I am not lying. I am born under the sign of Scorpio and have Italian, Spanish, and North African Berber DNA. Gals like me have skills and presence that some men find irresistible no matter how old we get. Remember me. The truth will be revealed.
Here in Mexico I see that women are more interested in having a successful family more than a wonderful career. My wife is an out of this world beauty and a very accomplished entrepreneur, she has a hardwood flooring factory and I'm a die-hard teacher and after 24 years we are as happy as we could be, she admires me and I have a profound admiration for her, and many couples, who are our friends, are like us. Having said that, I believe it is a cultural issue, idiosyncrasy, I presume. Very interesting topic Chris and Vincent, thanks.
@@apebass2215 How often do human males abandon their mate and offspring? I know that it is very common in matriarchal communities. It is common for males to be very suspicious as to if they are the father so consequently male paternal investment can be low.
@@sunfish4095 do you really think it is more common that mothers abandon their offspring compared to fathers? What planet do you live on? Single mothers are a trope for a reason.
Sorry but any woman who is mad that men don't care about their education, got education for the wrong reasons. You get educated for yourself because you wanted to/wanted to improve yourself. As an educated woman, I got education because I love learning and being in the classroom. I can care less if men care about my degree.
I wonder how much of this is societal vs biological (ofc youth is a biological want but with IQ or wealth). Because maybe over time Men will be valued in society for more than just being secure and financially stable and so they could then feel less threatened by women being smart and richer. It's a power and status shift that I think will change again in the future.
@@Anil-ih3ot I see that view sure but if women are levelling up to higher status and so the pool of men who are even higher is smaller then at some point a change will happen. Either women lower their standards or they pull out of the dating pool all together. That's my point.
If a woman is attracted to a man who would be a great stay at home dad, her being the breadwinner and supporting the family would be great. That way one parent can be with the kids. Myself, I am not attracted to stay at home fathers, I am attracted to men who allow me to be a stay at home mother. So I selected my partner based on many things, his ability to earn money was significantly weighed. I could have been with more physically attractive men, but their earning potential was nothing near my husbands.
It's because men are intimidated by goddesses we have business mentality we have a awesome body everybody wants us so that's why we don't get married it takes a king to marry a queen
It is worse that you laid out. A successful woman earning $200k, now needs to find a top 5% guy earning $300k. Except, those are specifically the men who either won't settle down, who can demand a top 10% women in terms of looks (heavily tied to youth), and who specifically don't want successful woman for several reasons -- (a) yes, age and fertility, but also (b) they won't be home to raise the children, (c) they aren't there to support him, (d) they add their own drama, (e) successful women are typically aggressive, competitive, less caring, and (f) is around other hyper-successful men, etc. Why does a guy want that when he can have a 25 year-old waitress who values him?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this dichotomy I constantly encounter: men say they want an intelligent/independent/sexy women who generally has her shit together (which takes a degree of financial success), but, once in a relationship with said women, they complain she's not feminine enough (because she can't be flirty/fun 24/7), etc and she more and more has to take on the role of his mom.
I suppose it's the dynamics of a hetosexual relationship. I think men will say anything that is PC. Once that ring is on the finger, it's like OK, family-mode now. Which isn't bad unless you're a career-woman.
I would say it is incorrect. I don't think the majority of men are saying that is what they want in a woman and if they do it is something they've been told they want. Men, just as women, wants a someone to complement them and make them feel needed and appreciated. Men are looking for someone feminine (not the same as sexy/flirty but more like submissive and soft/pleasant) and nurturing because men are worse at that than women (take the role of their mum as you say) so that is something most men lack. Men don't want to compete with their woman career wise and trying to out earn her. Most men get enough of that at work. There are plenty of other videos on youtube talking about this.
Which man said this?? I get the sexy part but the rest?? There are men who say this type of stuff however those men are top 10% of all men. I refuse to believe a 50k per year man is asking for all that except for the sexy part?
One aspect about is also the fact that women are not willing to settle for a men who is "beneath" them in terms of financials. and settling is a strong word. women who decide to become career woman, have to realize... you are putting yourself in the position of the breadwinner. you are taking up the space of the traditional masculine role that is being the provider (and protector) so women leave behind their homemaker role, which is fine, but then still expect men to become breadwinner's as well, even though they just left the homemaker role open, but still keep it to themselves instead of letting go and giving it to their man and accepting that as a careerperson who wants to marry and have children, it's your responsibility to take care of your family. Financially that is. Men can still be the protector, but you would take over as the provider. and I think women should think about that, even if you still come the conclusion that you want a breadwinner husband, having given it a thought leads to probably a healthier future relationship
While it’s not perfect, the best solution for women is to lock down a man first, and then work on their other aspirations. If they have a good relationship it will outweigh the woman’s hypergamous tendencies as well as the man’s preference for young women. Those tendencies are how men and women choose each other prior to knowing each other. Once they are in a good relationship, both will stand by those who treat them well as the default. Even if the man is poor or the woman is old.
The height of a woman is not very important to a man. As long as she isn't much taller than him, it's not an issue. Conversely, a man's height is the most important thing to a woman. This is self evident.
Women don't need to dumb themselves down just to feed male mediocrity and comfort male insecurity. The fact that these men are trying to say that women need to do that is exactly the problem.
I don't think that being well off adversely effects women in the way most think. Most women can't date down not even a little so basically the amount of men a career woman is interested in has shrunk, meanwhile those same men she likes have not shrunk their own options as much. Men do care about a woman's background especially high flying men; few would want to marry some modelesque girl who could only manage to be senior barista at Starbucks.
@@hhardy2591 Get an education. Adrienne is feminine, Adrian is masculine. I had children in my 20's and find it sad how many of my friends and peers put their careers first and now have no children or family. Many of them are unhappy about this.
Some chose survival bc we’ve seen in generations of the women before us get cheated on and emotionally and physically abused. So some “millennial women” are surviving for themselves not to compete with men or want a HVM, but just choosing to survive. Period
I know it's biology and all, but that saying of "There's a new 18 yo everyday" is horribly gross. I know there are exceptions of succesful marriages with big age differences, but more often than not, the relationship is predatory based on the difference in brain developement and, hence, power dynamics. The brain fully develops around 25. I'm not saying to wait until then to have a child as a woman, if that's what you want - but there's quite a difference between a 30-35 yo man dating an 18 yo vs dating a 23 yo woman. Plus, the different reasons of dating that we have nowadays are further complicating that (we don't date only for marriage or children). And that problem even takes on a pedophilic road in some cultures, with child brides and all. If we are to grow as a civillization it's one of the things that should be worked out, together with the biological aspect of it.
Married and in my 50s .. if I could go back and redo everything I would still go for a suzy homemaker. don't care about the rest, even looks are over rated .. an average or even slightly below average looking woman with an INTEREST in making a happy home is far more prized in my eyes. This high tech society we're pushing isn't making us happier, it's making us miserable. Family > all. the rest of this is just pointless naval gazing. Besides, so much of this dating crap is based on illusory goals when in the end how you get to spend your time in loafers with a potbelly is what's real. and likewise so much of this is also just pure genetic lottery on brains, health, drive etc.
Women should not diminish themselves to applaud a man’s mediocrity. That’s not love, that’s performative. He thinks you think more of him than you do, and you are acting like less than you are. You’re both lying to one another and that’s no basis for a real authentic relationship. Be yourself ladies, even if you’re smart. If he needs you to be less for him to feel like more-that’s no real relationship-he doesn’t want real love-he simply wants an ego stroking. A real alpha male wants to tame a lioness-no valour in leading an incompetent dependent indoor cat. The lady who is capable but chooses to submit to a man is far more a reflection of his actual competence. Incapable women only make men aim for mediocrity. A real warrior conquers a competent opponent..not a kid army lol. Women want real masculinity not relative masculinity lol. JBP says it best-tell the truth in your relationships.ua-cam.com/video/nQtQyhPAm0w/v-deo.html
agreed. if you "play dumb" you can improve your chances of getting a guy but he's probably not who you want. In reality though, it makes getting what you want a lot more difficult but it is probably worth the while. You may never get it but who's to say living alone for the rest of your life is worse than being stuck with mediocrity? At the end of the day we make choices in life and have to make peace with them.
I think the story should be is educated women who are full of themselves are often left alone. So are men who are arrogant and think they are smarter than everyone. Getting educated doesn't make one better, it just broadens the perspective.
@AsymptoticTime Being smart have nothing to do with education. I love smart women and educated ones. The problem is when people get educated they often become arrogant and annoying. They think the world revolve around their greatness. It goes both ways.
Watch the full episode with Vincent here - ua-cam.com/video/Ug8IJJd8yH0/v-deo.html
The reason marriage has postponed is not because of smarter women.
Its because the society has put up higher standards trough laws on requiring longer school years (Finishing Master degree) so they can get a license for a specific profession and even to simply get a job.
Men use these statistics as an excuse to bash women for not stepping up to be better men and convincing women why they would be good partners and fathers.
Women even get more enhancements look wise then men.
Smart women aren't single cause men are scared of them. Men fear no woman. Its just that this type of woman is opinionated, unfeminine, disrespectful, masculine and suffers from a cripplingly high sense of self value. Her hypergamy is off the charts and feels entitled to a god of a man. Noone wants to deal with those things.
@@GuidetteExpert i think is more than just one thing, is all of it combined, woman too need to be thaught, men as boys are thaught about their strenght, the equivalemt in woman is their toxic femininity, and tendency to obey, that is one point, another is as they say hypergamy,
another problem of society is demonization of anyone that calls out the problem, another one is unwilingness of dealing with problems, and a very annoying tendency, is when people say, "is not what you say is how you say it", i get it, you can be polite, but what if there is no easy way of saying something? what if the only way to say it and not have it misunderstood, or taken out of context, "creatively interpretated" to fit your perspective, and the only real care is to be understood?
This episode inspired me to do my first ever YT "video"/ audio-file re the matter here: ua-cam.com/video/q9r8f_50PC4/v-deo.html
Thank you for your content @chriswilliamson @chriswillx and giving us evermore to think about.
I dated a girl who made a lot of money and was very successful for her age. She wanted to talk about her job on the phone every night to the point where I would have to hang up on her to go to sleep at a decent time because she wouldn’t stop. I only cared that she was a hard worker, I could have cared less about her making the big bucks. I think some of the successful women try so hard to get to those positions, that it becomes their entire life. I knew the names of all her coworkers and bosses by first name within 1 month of dating and it ultimately became so annoying that I had to get out of it. I’m sure most people would consider me being too picky, but she was told multiple times to cut the shit.
My wife picked me when I was making $8 an hour at 23 years old. She is the truest most genuine loving person I know. I hit the lottery. Now I am able to give her the life she deserves all these years later.
Your comment is lovely! Happy to know that there are happy marriages were the man feels valued. Good women are still out there...
@@Senorzilchnzero He clearly knows this. Did you not read the part where he said he hit the loterry?
@@Senorzilchnzero Well of course it wouldn't work in todays society. Lewis is probably approaching or in his 50's right now. Think back to the late 80's, early 90's. That type of money wouldn't get you much, but enough to pay rent and other payments and such. Women back then didn't have all of this social media stuff to dilute the field of men. It was all about who you knew and whom you met in real life. None of this stuff where you can see flaws and break people down.
@@Senorzilchnzero not true. if you have other things going for you it compensates
@@Senorzilchnzero Yeah subconsciously we all want something superficial but this one took the risk and invest. The investment clearly paid off.
The real problem? The devaluation of housewives in the eyes of society. Coming from a single parent and having a kid myself, I appreciate highly of any women who take care of her child without the help of daycare. There is no job in the world that has more impact to another person (the child) and more demanding (if you take care of the child right...). Most problems in society would not be there if people have good parents.
Even most women devaluate it. Im a stay at home mom, and everyone always looks down to it.
Modern society has a deeply entrenched market mentality that sees everything everything, even interpersonal relationships, through the lens of the market. Stay at home parents are deemed worthless because they don’t participate in the job market. I believe this to be the basis of all the dysfunction we see.
Our society (here in America) severely undervalues parenthood. Case in point: we are always happy to write a blank check to the DOD but we can't guarantee FMLA, and childcare relief is "too expensive" according to that dickwad Joe Manchin. We are trailing the world. An odd side effect of this will be underpopulation in 20 years. So much for "family values"....
How many men can afford for their wives to stay home? That's the bigger conversation here. Most cannot even pay for a date so let's talk about it...
@@gailainsley6939 That conversation requires being honest about why men aren't competing as much in or dropping out of the work force instead of simply whining that they are, but women never seem interested.
to be fair, as a smart guy, I would probably want a smart woman. I can't see myself putting up with someone who's dull, dumb or ignorant...especially if they have strong opinions to go with that.
Smart. Define that. I’ll take a wise woman with street smarts and common sense any day over a woman with a college degree.
@@DieselVR6 what's problem with college? Sure you want a woman who is illiterate so you can use her on your advantage right?
@@marte1376 that's the silliest comment I've ever heard. Perhaps your comment comes from regional expectations but here in America, it's not either college or illiterate. I just don't believe in a blanket statement like "smart" because it implies that the opposite is "dumb". I've dated women with high school degrees and women with PhD's. The PhD wasn't necessarily the more engaging one. She was just good at regurgitating other people's thoughts. I'm more interested in someone's individual thoughts. That to me is far more attractive.
@@DieselVR6 Love your comment. Here there are a lot of people on university that are more dumb than eating an apple with a fork.
I can recognize if someone is intelligent listening to a few of his/her sentences. A degree means nothing to me.
@@DieselVR6 These days having degrees/credentials oniy means you’re institutionalised. Which means you’re good at jumping through hoops and regurgitating stuff. There’s no real learning going on.
Every successful marriage involves some level of ‘settling”. No perfect person exists and this idea that not getting perfection is somehow ‘settling for less” is the worst delusion that feminism has taught women to believe.
The truth! (P.s im a woman)
Simple and perfect truth.
Men are hypergamous as well, they always leave a loyal wife for someone younger and hotter. Men have to settle too. Sorry, gents.
@@sarahrobertson634 glad someone said it. Easier to put it all on women i guess
@@sarahrobertson634 How do you explain that statement when pre-1980 the marriage success rates were 95+ percent?
I can't stop thinking about this episode. The rollercoaster of emotions & tangential thoughts it's incited are pretty intense tbh. Hard pill to swallow, but better swollowed than never acknowledged.
It's called The Red Pill.
Women have been lied too for too long, Male and female nature is not a "social construct". These generation will be filled with cat ladies that didnt want to "settle" and blaming men for their loneliness
Smart women aren't single cause men are scared of them. Men fear no woman. Its just that this type of woman is opinionated, unfeminine, disrespectful, masculine and suffers from a cripplingly high sense of self value. Her hypergamy is off the charts and feels entitled to a god of a man. Noone wants to deal with those things.
@@rjflores438 yes of course you will find the occasional high iq female unicorn that can also be a good wife and even manage her own complex emotions and brainstorm of thoughts. Not the norm through.
I'm attracted to competent women and find it very alluring, always have done, but not if it's at the expense of femininity. To be honest in the UK most of the women I know like that and the 2 that I dated were aware of their feminine power and happily embraced it so there was never an issue. Also Eloise everyone is attracted to a confident partner (both men and women).
@@keylanoslokj1806 what makes you so entitled to having such high standards? and if you don't have such high standards, what is your solution to the problem? dying alone?
Regardless of genders, you should work hard and become independent in both financially& mentally before consider bring in someone into your life. If you don't know much about yourself, you will also feeling lost with your partner. Discover yourself first! Life is longer than you think.
Life is actually much shorter and goes much faster than you think
I think alot of men don't consider that while there is a new 18 year old every year, most 18 year olds want to date men their own age or slightly older. If a young woman actively dates older men its because she wants the resources so you'll have to have money
Untrue. You are a woman, that's for sure if you think that. Dating market has always been transactional, Disney movies aren't real
Im 34 years old and i attract younger women a fair bit. Im decent looking, not rich by any means but im comfortable in who i am.
I don't doubt many women date older guys for money, but i do believe many younger women like older guys fir different things other than resources
There are men who look for women with resources too in order to live a better life
@@wayklm9471 oh it is true. I always liked "older" men. I.e. when I was 18 I fancied a man who was 23. I was pursued by a man of 32. Yuck! Old crinkly! Women like warriors. Warriors need to be fit and to be fit you need to be young and in your prime. A young warrior is a better hunter than a knackered old man.
So true, men don't realize the vast majority of women prefer someone near their age in reality because they always look at celebrity relationships. Stats say the first marriage average is 3 year diff, second marriage 5 year diff. Getting a 20 something year old woman when your 40 is extremely rare unless she's from a third world country or the guy is rich.
I'm surprised at men not liking smarter women on average, to me it's very attractive. My relationships with smarter women have always been better and lasted longer and I could never see myself marrying someone who I couldn't hold a conversation about interesting things with
It’s not about smart but highly educated and women pretend to be independent that’s a turn off for most men. Nobody wanna be with a dumb person either man or woman .
I think you confuse education with intelligence.
while education and intelligence overlap, it can be surprising how stupid some people are who have a bachelor or master degree.
education is not really a indicator of intelligence.
also I think assuming, that someone who didn't decide or couldn't go to college somehow can't hold a conversation is quite ignorant and rude.
It's about how independent women behave when they fight at home. Fighting is normal. What is not normal is allowing minor differences to destroy the relationship.
As per this, women can't marry if she is smart or rich but men complain if women depend on them and get money in a divorce.
Exactly.
They don't want the woman to have an income and be a wife, and complain she wants alimony because she can't support herself
@@wyleecoyotee4252 nobody is complaining if she doesn't have any income , problem is she has an income and she takes 50 percent of what u earn .
Greatway to complete ignore the whole point of video , the point men don't care if u earn or not , men are not attracted to money u earn , it's not a desirable quality of a woman for men if he has to chose a life partner
@@Doc-hp5wf we didn't miss the point. We agree men don't care about women's ability to earn, they care about her looks but when it fades away and man loose interest women need that ability to earn for their survival
The problem is that historically throughout time, women have been at the mercy of their spouses by not having an independent severable income or assets in marriage. What the weathier party doesn't acknowledge is that the spouse that isn't working (and if they insist they don't work to raise children etc) does work which is economically valuable and literally per hour, the weathier spouse couldn't afford for the term of the marriage. Then on Divorce, its "you've taken 50% of what you didn't earn". Well that party has no pension, no income, no safety net because you as a spouse didn't factor in the total cost if their "domestic work" did you? (No of course not because, you wanted everything at reduced cost because you fundamentally see your spouse not working as being an inferior to you. Ive seen this over and over again and I worked continuously and still did the majority of housework and in fact ended up earning more because my ex husband wanted to gamble starting a business but refused to give up his dream to support me when I was pregnant (but still wanted me to give up my work when he had no income!!!). Essentially the party that has economic independence controls the other which doesn't. Despite Divorce Settlements, most women are fundamentally poorer than if they had remained working. Its simply not realistic or safe to tell women "don't work so your spouse feels some strange sort of ego boost for controlling you".
Too many people in the comments are misunderstanding women's "ambition"
Women didn't choose jobs over families, they chose to be financially secure FIRST in case the men they end up with don't provide for them or the kids. We have seen this story play out too many times in the past to not learn from it. Men believe they hold the power in the relationship because they are making money, and women have to put up with abuse (physical or emotional) to have a roof over their head and food on the table.
Why gamble with our basic safety and wellbeing needs by depending on another person when we are smart and capable to secure those needs for ourselves? Not all women are lucky in finding a good man who will treat her as an equal, even when she doesn't have a degree or a job.
Not to mention once she has the kids and her youthfulness is no longer an asset, that's when men will look outside the relationship for the 18-yr old. Again, not saying every man will do this but its not uncommon. Women have the means and resources to not depend on anyone but themselves. It is unfortunate that the university and career timelines is heavily geared towards men's goals and completely ignores women's desire to have children as well as financial stability.
Because it is not a gamble. Men are actually a prime #1 source for women's "safety and wellbeing" A certain philosophy has misinformed women is all.
So true. Women have to provide for their own security first
@@sunfish4095
You're misinformed. Women can't depend on men as not every man is what's considered a good man
Women have figured this out a long time ago. They must provide for themselves
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Not every...just most : )
@Sun Fish
Not even most men, possibly less than 25%
Don't flatter yourselves.
What you men perceive as good is not necessarily congruent with what women perceive as good
relationships are so strange. I think so much of it is down to your personality. some people always seem to be able to attract and keep the right partners but others just cant do it at all. The guys I am attracted to don't seem to like me and I don't like the guys who are attracted to me. it is also down to how you are brought up and how emotionally secure you were as a child.
@Potato This woman just portrayed herself with the exact faults of hypergamy.
Just out of curiosity, what type of men don't like you?
You’re probably going to end up alone, but that’s not the end of the world, learn to accept it. I have, but maybe it’s easier for a guy, as we are generally brought-up to have lower expectations in life, or at least from what other people will provide for us.
Definitely all comes down to attachment
@@stonemarten1400 men are less social than females and society sees it as being more socially acceptable for men to be alone. Women are criticized more heavily for what ever choices we make.
What is scary is the wild conclusions people make from very little data and subsequently how fast those wrong conclusions are spread.
I agree with the sentiment, but which conclusions specifically are you referring to?
@@charlieweaver6322 I'd rather avoid getting too much into this as it is bound to start an internet fight. Just be careful of what conclusions can be assumed from certain data.
@@Maestroxxx1 But wild conclusions is a value judgment and making a suggestion that said conclusions are "wild", which is a term of dismissal, without any counter data or evidence is just a moral judgment.
@@Maestroxxx1 Fair enough.
@@Maestroxxx1 then why even write comment in the first place
That’s funny bc when I was dating in my mid to late twenties looking for a quality man who wanted a high quality woman as a stay at home mom & wife, the men were only interested in dating women who had high income careers so they could afford a beach house and two fancy cars. Not one man I dated was genuinely interested in traditional marriage & child-rearing.
Good for them 👌🏻
Maybe the problem is the men YOU are picking? There are many traditional men out there who want a family
"Education" is irrelevant, especially since everyone is getting a degree now.
College degree are the new high school diploma. They just cost more, and look better on your resume.
They used to be a good measurement for qualifications, but now they're more of a paper, versus any measurement of skill.
STEM is one of the only exceptions, but affirmative action/political correctness, have lowered the value.
as a man I want a partner, not a gimmick. if you are 30+ a 18 year old is very unlikely to have your level of emotional intelligence and life-experience that, in my opinion, makes you an interesting person one would like to spend time with. I could elaborate in futher detail (lifestyle, interests etc) but that is at the center of what I feel applies to me and many of my friends. Most of us are 35 - 45 years old and we all have partners/wifes in our age group. Our "social status" can be described as academically educated and upper middle class in central Europe.
To me as a 21 year old woman, a man who dates a much younger girl is an immediate red flag ( a woman who dates a much younger boy too) because it usually means one (or more) of several things.
1) They are immature and no one their age can stand them
2) They are potentially controlling/abusive. Abusive husbands tend to get with their partners when the latter are young so they can control them more effectively
3) They are creepy dudes who hit on every female that moves and think that they're some Casanova for charming younger girls ( I had a 47 year old taxi driver try to flirt with an 18 year old me after he told me that I'm young enough to be his daughter 🤢🤢. Like seriously, how creepier can you be?)
Glad I didn't get my PhD to impress a man. I got it to impress my Mom, which was always a losing game lol😄
to impress your mother as a daughter permanently is the most difficult thing ever 😂
Heres a fun fact
90% women who r single at whatever age r single by choice
We aren't doormats to put up with non sense
We don't need a husband or a boyfriend
@@oranged6703 exactly
@@oranged6703 is that a cope ?
Strong , independent, being single are all masculine traits not feminine traits.
So as females become more masculine, men are not attracted to masculine women, the consequences of such things is collapse of family , low birth rate, collapse of values, collapse of society ,economy and welfare system in general
@@parkinsonpark6336 it’s a cope for sure
Standards. Rich women want to check a ton of boxes including the guy has to be 6 feet plus tall, 6 figure salary, good body, great hair, fancy car. The list is extensive. A rich man just wants a nice looking woman and it truly doesn't even matter how much she makes.
6 figures
6 feet
6-pack
The only thing that is not enough is
6 inches
Lately many rich men, also look for rich women, to filter out the gold diggers and losers
@@keylanoslokj1806 exactly. I've been saying that for some time. So that there is little to no financial incentive for the waahmen to nuke their marriage.
@@garrusvakarian3451 yes cause if she is already as rich, you know she likes you for you
@Yez Kex I fear CRISPER
in a mix of corporations literally owning your DNA the fundamentals building blocks that make you You
The prospect of man made diseases to boost company profits
There’s a lot that can go wrong and unless the people raise up and tell them no it won’t get better
I was born in 1960, and so I remember how all the stuff in this video was standard advise given to young women. For most girls, college was a chance to earn a "Mrs." degree. Feminism battled this notion, and over the past 40 years has pretty much won the field, so that male mate preferences have to be rediscovered. I should say I'm gay, so I'm not invested in this particular battle. But there is a connection, in that being openly gay is all about exercising the right to discriminate when it comes to my romantic choices. We all do that, even if it goes against what we think we ought to do. Society should recognize that and let young people know that they may not be able to "have it all."
If I have a daughter I'd definitely want her to have her own family and also whether it would have some not so favourable consequences, I would love for her to reach her goals and if it includes having Phd, sharpening her mind- I'm all for it.
It's all good but something must give
I have legit had men tell me that I was too intelligent.
Or too autonomous!
Have I missed something. Why are we not talking about men improving themselves, their education and sense of self. Any approach that requires women to dumb down and men not to excel in their aspiration and character is bad one.
We should think in terms of gender adjustments within the wider economic and cultural landscape. We are both biological and socially driven the two interact and are inseparable.
Things that can help us now.
1) If you want children Marriage should be valued and considered in your 20s not only at 30 plus.
2) Men should watching less porn it a major mess up of male aspiration, drive and mating potential.
3) We need a better level of gender communication than the immature ping pong insult of the different smarty pills.
AI and the disappearance of jobs for everyone is here, and it will redefine work and gender relationships. It is time to forget the pills and focus on effective communicating.
A much wider framework and less pessimistic debate would be helpful. There is a meeting point but we just have to find it together.
Thank you Jakie such an insightful comment
So our running solution is, "Go chad or stay mad." Got it, got it.
If a woman is conscious of hypergamous filter then there can be a taming of her own behavior. Its a part of human instinct for women before ppl jump on the morality. If a snake bites a hand, there is no insidious motivation for the snake, the snake is merely acting in its instinctual nature to defend itself. Women have a hypergamous nature because women are defensive creatures due to the vulnerability that comes with their physical stature compared with men due to the effects of testosterone on human development. They're hardwired to behave defensively. Morality is completely separate. Most women are not aware of their hypergamous filter, they simply unconsciously act out on that instinct because that instinct produces an emotion to be acted on. Its not that smart women or rich women don't make good partners. Its that they often disregard or refuse to acknowledge their hypergamous instinct because they've been trained to through feminism or other social conventions that teach women to embrace it rather than be careful when it appears. For women to feel secure they must look at a man with respect and admiration. Women are taught to value men based on success (which is why women often value themselves through that same lens) therefore anyone below her success level presents a danger to her security. Because of a woman's hypergamy, she will seek out the best man she can get based on her circumstances at the time but the higher she elevates, the smaller her pool of mates becomes, not to mention she is getting older and her prime fertility window is fading away which means the mates she desires may not desire her. If women can tamper her hypergamy, it presents better future options but that is rare in today's age with such easy methods for divorce and a culture that promotes human's being liberalized from their impulse control. Hypergamy is not a straight jacket (RT) though, since women who are conscious of it and men who still below in the socioeconomic arena can still find ways to find mates. Hypergamy is also a mindset. Stedman and Oprah were together for many years and he was not as high up success wise as her but in Oprah's mind, Stedman was the alpha because he kept his dominant frame and she felt comfortable submitting to him. The concept of submission is hypergamy. A woman submits her defensive nature and tames her hypergamous filter. A woman optimally wants to be with a man that she loves, trusts, admires, and respects, and someone she can believes in but she doesn't want him to abuse his power.
Its more complicated than that.
Women are earning more than ever before. This means that their standards go up for a potential partner of course.
The problem is if men do better, earning more and more, that only exasperates the 'gender pay gap'.
Women simultaneously want equal pay but they want a man to out earn her. But if all men outearn there women there will invariably be a pay gap
Things to help you. Women can have children safely up to 40yrs old.
Intelligence also means understanding the polarity needed to make a relationship work. Being educated is not the issue, knowing when to turn it off and relax in your feminine is the issue.
this
EXACTLY THIS
*5 things to quit right now:*
*1. Overthinking*
*2. Trying to make everyone happy*
*3. Living in the past*
*4. Worrying*
*5. Doubting yourself*
Thanks
Oh yeah Thanks
It's not all that simple, my relative has a phd and postdoc in physics, her husband also has both. They have a lovely kid. Degrees should not be a factor, people either capable of building relationships or not. Period.
It is that simple. Your relative is the exception not the rule. Most of the traits for sucess are inherently Masculine and make you women less attractive to us. You also aren't willing to accept less than you want so you artificially limit your dating pool to men that are most likely going to bang multiple babes at once. It's simple biology, physiology and basic human nature. Exceptions do exist but they are rare and not the norm.
@@werejustgaming
What are masculine traits?
Self reliance? Bring educated?
@We're Just Gaming!
Actually many professionals marry laterally.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 unagreeableness, confidence, etc. It's not necessarily going to make you less attractive. It's just more common in men. It's why women get paid less sometimes. They are less likely to demand raise. Boss bade attitude is truly repulsive to most men
@@wyleecoyotee4252 I suggest you check out the Fresh and Fit Podcast they cover this in great detail
A fitting joke I heard:
Imagine a department store for women shopping for men. The rules are that they you can only go in the up from one floor to the next. On the 1st floor are men with jobs; On the 2nd floor are men with jobs who like kids; On the 3rd floor are men with jobs who like kids and are willing to do partake in household work; On the 4th floor is a sign at the top of the escalator that says 'You're out of luck because you're never satisfied!"
Looks also included
2nd and 3rd floor are good for me
there is also an extension of the joke for men.
first floor is beautiful women, second is beautiful loyal and funny I think.
and the third floor? nobody knows, because no man has gone that far yet.
The question is about relationships vs reproduction. There are plenty of young women out there that are single mothers because men achieved their goal of reproducing, but choose not to stick around, or even pay child support. These are now "behind the 8 ball" because they have children and most men do not want to raise some other man's child.
WRONG. The nonsense you speak of about men not sticking around or even paying child support? Please. If men don't pay child support, they go to jail. Period. And many times it's the woman kicking the guy out and denying him from seeing his kids. And don't get me started on the unjust divorce a d family court systems that heavily favor the woman and rake the men over the coals.
And by the way, if these men are doing as you say they are, what does that say about the women who choose to have sex and get pregnant with these guys? It's a bad decision on her part and she bears responsibility because it is women who decide who they have sex with. They are the gatekeepers.
@@cfpzona don't you think that blaming "only" those women wrong too. Like if you shaming someone for not taking responsibility then the scenerio which she presented in that cases both parties are wrong. Women might be gatekeepers of sex but men are gatekeepers of commitment. So in this case both men and women are wrong. I am assuming you are a man who don't like hate towards your gender. Very well. Men are lovely people and they should not be generalised but I am just making a point without hating on my favourite people (men).
@@pratikshatiwari7011 men are not the gate keepers to anything including commitment. It’s easier for a woman to find a husband then it is for a man to find a wife. You came to that ridiculous conclusion by taking a male supermodels with height of 195cm+ and you compared him to below average looking woman. No wonder why you think men are the gatekeepers.
@@grizzlybear2702 naah i said that Because that's true in my country. In my country after divorce more men get married than women and also widow remarriage is discouraged and punished here
I'm sorry, men. This is grossly one-sided. 35-year-old women are not "competing" with 18-year-old women, unless they are going for emotionally stunted, immature men.
yeah tell you that, and that might be correct.
No man in the top 10% goes wants a woman over 30.
@@doggychops7304 In the top 10%. Oh, gosh. No woman wants a man who thinks he is all that.
You statement is not wrong, but you are wrong if you assume what men want
@@elchucapablas Did you reply to me? Because I was talking about what women want.
I have met a few successful carrier women and I can only talk for myself but even though they were pretty they sent some strong "masculine/domination" vibes.
It is clearly not what I would look for in a lifetime relationship, I have enough bosses to deal at my work:)
I can imagine that. I was thinking about it lately and in my opinion the reason might be that many of those women are probably single for a long time and have to be very independent and hard working, so they become more dominant because they have to do it to survive, but it doesn 't mean that they will act the same in a relationship. Trust me, many of those women dream about a trusted partner so they can finally let go and show their loving, warm side.
@@YourMoonShine "Trust me, many of those women dream about a trusted partner so they can finally let go and show their loving, warm side." Sure, And I have been with some woman with a much "warmer" side in private than in public live.
But it remain a turn off to me.
I prefer smiling, live-loving person if I have to share my life with.
It's great to be confident and successful,just know how and when to cooperate vs compete,turn it on and off depending on context(not sex). That advice is for both sexes.
@@marianemashkalo4182 "It's great to be confident and successful,just know how and when to cooperate vs compete,turn it on and off depending on context(not sex). That advice is for both sexes."
Sure but that is not what I look like in a life long life partner
@@anteeko You should probably seek out a life partner who has the intelligence, education, and ambition to survive alone with 5 kids when you die.
I think the real question that is never asked is "WHY" do men work so hard and why do they see value in when they do it vs when women do it? Well, generally, men do that stuff for a WOMAN. Specifically to get a woman and to take care of her and their future kids. Women work hard and do all that for THEMSELVES. That's why a man doesn't want a "Boss bitch" or however the guest so elequently put it.
Men work for themselves to better their careers. Who are you trying to fool.
@@suzygirl1843
That's really sad
Women also work and build wealth for the security of their kids. We have a collective memory of being left destitute with little to no options when a husband died, abandoned the family, or ended up in prison. That has been the most important reason for the fight for equal opportunity in education and employment: financial independence means financial security.
@@suzygirl1843 thats why i dont date broke girls
I'm 31 yo woman, and I'm scared. I'm not even a rich bitch boss, just independent and economically stable, and when I try dating men my level or upper it seems like they are absolutely turn off by the fact that I can make decisions, that I'm not dumb, that I have topics to talk about... its like always a "you are reeeeeaaaally nice but" I'm not even ugly and I look at least 6 years younger (for real), I just don't go out half naked as most of the 20something girls... I was thinking a lot about turning into some very smart rich person to see if that can make me closer to the circle of people I would date but it seems that they don't appreciate it.
Do you have instagram?
I know a woman that sounds exactly like you.
She recently told me that she just got a dog.
@@Shadamachaeon 😂😂😂... this is harsh.
So sorry. I am 23, but i still plan to be independent and economically stable asf. I am just psychologically wired to take my survival and means of living very seriously. Our gender is better at being lonely. So i am glad about that.
Sorry, but no man is turned off by you not being dumb or being able to make a decision.
That's like a man claiming "all the woman are just turned off by my emotional stability and ability to communicate effectively"
It may be different for super alpha type chicks that are VPs for major corporations but the marriage rates are higher and the divorce rates are lower for women with more education and income levels. Socioeconomic assortative mating is happening at much higher rates than in previous generations. Most well educated men want a well educated women who makes a decent income so they can raise a family in the best neighborhoods. If you have a stay at home wife you are living pay check to pay check unless you are a top 3% earner.
Even as a top 3%, do you want to significantly reduce your lifestyle and you children's life to support 4 people on 1, albeit high, income? I sure as hell don't.
Also, unintelligent people are incredibly boring, so, I have no idea how that works long term.
@@z987k yeah, narcistic "smart" people are way different.
me and other the "dumb" people are just happy enough with smart enough spouse that can function and do each of our duty.
If you are woman watching this, do NOT be dissuaded. The most important thing is your character, and you will find someone, whether you think you're smart or not. Join a gym and go skiing, stay out of the bars, play hard to get. It is timeless and easy to catch a keeper.
For men and women - make friends and build trust. They will help you meet someone of quality.
yes get out in the "real world" and treat the opposite sex as a person. Be nice and kind regardless. Work on yourself.
Playing hard to get isn’t attractive when it’s a woman doing it. It’s attractive when a woman has respect for herself and knows what she wants(when it’s reasonable and not some fairy tale shit)
@@IffyEdem very romantic.
@@lewisticknor You might want to edit your comment to *don't* play hard to get. It is an awful advice, everything else is good.
This problem was discovered long ago an religion created a solution: don't have premarital sex, marry young and marry your own age. This will prevent almost all problems discussed in the video.
In religious communities, smart and rich women get married all the time.
The real problem is that the university system and job market are ageist. Universities need to change so that women can study while having kids. Have kids young, work part time and build a career later on. Women can have it all, just not at the same time.
🤣 You arrived at the same position as me on this subject.
Redpill: You have to be dominant with women for them to like you
Religious men: Wait, you guys weren't doing this already??
God didn't make stupid rules
Men like younger women.
@S ess What you're saying is true but also on the flip side older women are complaining they can't find a partner to commit. It goes both ways. If men don't like the available options they stay single as well especially since men bare more of the investment in a relationship/marriage unless there are kids involved.
@S ess Yes but I see it far more in older women especially on dating apps. It's kind of depressing to read those bios tbh.
@S ess What you're saying is partially true. From observation on Bumble/Tinder once you get into the 27+ year old range, which is coined by Rollo Tomassi as the "epiphany phase", you start finding a lot of women want relationships and almost all over 30 do. I'm not sure if you consider these women younger but I do. There are new stats published that show 28% of men between 18-29 have not had sex in the last year versus 18% of women, so at least in that demographic women are more sexually active. In the age range you are referring to it may be possible as those women are more selective and wanting to settle down. I agree that a lot of men under 35 are playing the field. I'm one of them but ethically. I'll tell you why. When I was 22-27 I was still establishing myself and didn't necessarily have the resources to invest in myself yet, so I couldn't buy the highest quality food and supplementation. I couldn't groom and style myself as well, so dating wasn't bad but it wasn't great. Over those years I worked as an accountant after graduation and made a good salary and started buying only organic food and grass fed/organic meat along with expensive lab tested and pure supplements like spirulina, chlorella, ashwaghanda, astaxanthin, etc. amongst many others. I noticed changes in my physical appearance (more masculine) and greater skin complexion and elasticity. I was then able to train harder and smarter and optimized my hormone profile. I go to an upscale barber and style my beard and hair nicely. Invested in nice and stylish named brand clothing. A lot of this started in the 25-27 age range. I then became owner of a business with over fifteen employees at 27 and have accrued a large net worth into my low 30s. So now at 34 I have been able to maintain a nice physique and grooming along with a very nice house and car. My confidence and social proficiency is through the roof and women notice it. So in essence at my age it's very easy to date women 25-30 because I've realized my potential, and a lot of these women are willing to commit. That's why when you guys say younger women don't want older guys I kind of question it, but I am in a different situation. Since men and women derive fulfillment and experience relationships differently in life we tend to want to settle and start families at different times. What makes men more appealing in terms of marriage takes a little more time since we are the ones that bear the larger burden of performance, and when we accomplish it we tend to want to pursue our biological desires in the same way women do.
Also one other big factor is female sexual liberation. There are so many women that are willing to casually date and have sex that it allows men to not necessarily need to be traditional and chivalrous anymore to have access to dates and sex. So when women want to settle down and start expecting chivalry, investment, etc. to have sex or to continue dating the men are like well there's another woman willing to do so with a lower emotional and investment cost. So for women who don't want commitment dating is easy, but when they flip the switch and want commitment from a man they're finding men are taking the road with the least resistance. It's tough but the younger women are partially ruining the game because they are less traditional which is what men like when it comes to dating because it's easier. It's hard to find a man now that has his stuff together that is good looking that is willing to settle, especially if they're younger.
I appreciate it, and same to you as well. I'm definitely on the same page. It seems like society is only progressing in technology and business but not overall with relationships, health, and happiness. That's why I try to understand everything on a primal and instinctual level and pursue scenarios that have a high probability of succeeding.
I personally find that the more intelligent a Women is, the more attractive she is. This study is not the decider of you're destiny. Surely the reason to get educated and get a career is to do just that anyway? The study was done on averages so the men that were used for the statistics were average men so if you don't want an average man you'll be alright. One more thing, as Stephen Hawking said "People who brag about their I.Q. are losers" and just because someone isn't successful now doesn't mean they won't be successful later. Actually sorry one more thing, don't get a family then get a career because you won't have time for a career by the time you've done that! That's not to say men shouldn't be perternal, it's just obviously there are biological factors involved.
Highly Intelligent women are attractive to equally or more intelligent men or a men who are very secure and not find it intimidating.
I agree. Especially because I only know men who don’t date down but usually women on the same level
There is no one successful woman who have relationship with average man while there are numerous successful men who have fulfilling relationships with an average woman.
This ought to be good news. I’m looking for a woman who is very intelligent and very rich. Sadly, I simply haven’t found one, yet.
Haha I have a chat group with many women that fit the description. Contrary to popular belief, none of them have any issues meeting men. As long as they are attractive (not just talking about appearance, but appearance does play a big role), they never have any issues.
Thank god I’m content with not having any of the things I’m “supposed to want”. Ive never felt the urge to marry or have kids and to be honest if my likelihood goes down with the rise in my success all the better 😊. Good luck to everyone else in the rat race hoping to find whatever it is they’re looking for.
“Women this” “Women that”
It’s like women aren’t human beings with a whole range of complexity and ambitions and lifestyles
@@Noname-rq1hr you just don't like what they're saying because it's relevant to your life so you're trying to dismiss it by attacking their character, shame on you
God bless you but you might change your mind as you age
Most women change their minds around their 30's, it's biology. Just pray you're the exception to that statistics or you'll hit the wall and there's no turning back
@@Noname-rq1hr forreal. i wish there was more nuance.
Unspoken here? I have a grown daughter and one day it just occurred to me that women are not particular concerned with how men look. Say, compared to how men see the good looks of women. When I asked her if women really cared if men were handsome with gym-ripped bodies, she just laughed and said "Of course not!!" - Witness Bill Gates and other nerds who find the "right mate." As my mother always said: "There's someone for....everyone."
this is utterly stupid lol. would you want your wife to desire other men? or even act on it? also numbers are showing there isn't someone for everyone. but that's too pessimistic for anyone to actually notice.
Men's Olympic swimming is one of the highest viewed events every time the summer Olympics comes around. That's not because people are huge fans of the sport.
Is there the slightest possibility she would say being handsome doesn't matter in order to not hurt your feelings, I wonder...
@@kaiserpuppydog7174 God knows his daughter has lied about other things to many people
In the search for a life partner, take your time, even if, as a woman, you may have already been listening to your ticking biological clock for some time. Get to know who you are and what you really need to be happy. Create your very own ideal relationship model, write it down and put it as a message in a bottle on some social media. Life is a lottery where most people have to settle for very modest gains. I know what it is to be above average and the very high statistical probability of never finding a match. Thank you gentlemen for a substantial exchange on such an emotional subject.
What if I am ready to marry someone less intelligent than me?
Why social media????
What to do about it? Ladies, get your marriage and your kids while you're young. It may seem counterintuitive, particularly for those of us who come from poor backgrounds, but at the end of the day, you can't politically correct human nature. My husband and I got together and had our kids in our 20s. Once they were old enough to look out for themselves I went and finished my Bachelor's. Now that they're adults I'm going for my Master's, and I'm barely in my 40's. So educational and financial ambitions can be achieved, just in a different way. I could've waited to find someone that would be able to support me as a stay-at-home mom, but first, that was never in my nature. I like having my own money particularly since I personally know women that are stuck with abusive husbands due to a lack of their own finances. Second, most women who don't come from wealth have usually had to work anyway. We did have to tough it out a few times but it was worth it. He is a good man, strong, supportive and his family is his priority. I'll take that any day before a wealthy man who's so busy with work he barely sees his kids. Or running around making a new baby mamma every time he's on a "business trip". It was his support that gave me the stability to pursue my ambitions. I could've also waited until after I achieved my educational and financial goals to find a husband, but I've known women who have done that and it's scary. Everything from not being able to conceive, to not being able to compete to trying to combat loneliness with a dog. Being 40 and lonely is not a flex.
If women are being advised to settle for men that they might be unattracted to, why can't the same be true for men vying for younger and fertile women? Can we ever achieve that level of prudence and sacrifice from both the sexes???
I get your point but your are basically telling ppl to also do hard work and settle.
Ppl do hard work so that they don’t have to settle, and that goes for both sexes.
I feel for you but life and society fking sucks!!
@@bruhaspati560 I am not expressly saying that with emphasis. I am just implying that the playing field can be fair and just to both the sexes. Everyone is working hard so that they get what they desire and deserve, but the field seems inordinately rigged for high achieving and career arching women. I just want a levelled situation for all of us. Have a good day! 👍
Because average to decent for a woman equals unattractive. Men still needs to out-earn women to even get the foot in the door and the only way to do that is to date younger. Why? Because women of the same age as the older man are most likely making more than the man today. That is why back then people married earlier and the age range usually is pretty close. Hence older women did not exists or if so were less likely to happen because it was frowned upon. So this brings us back to the women out earning men wont even settle so these men have a say, once they make it, they can choose as well. And most likely they will choose young. Its part of the game.
@@garljr and most women will choose high earning dudes. It's nature, stop complaining when women are being openly hypergamous. You're so hypocrite. If you're not willing to humble yourself you're not worthy to any women despite her age.
It's called double standards, this shows only allows us to see true nature of man and why you should have standards more than ever. Every red flag you see in a dude, drop it. Whoever doesn't want to settle and humble himself doesn't worth anything.
Wrong. Being a smart woman is a requirement for me....I'm not wasting my time with a chick who is dumber than Jim Carey and Jeff Bridges in Dumb and Dumber. I need to be able to have an intelligent, thought provoking conversation with the lady I'm doing the dirty with in order to stick around.
Notice this has no likes
@@BuryMeInBabylon you don’t have any likes at the moment?
I agree.. thank you!
@@Nah-ah cheers
@@BuryMeInBabylon he's got 12 likes more than you
I've always been one to want ambitious women. That being said, I think I took the perfect route (for me). I am a medical student, but so is my fiancée. We started dating when she was 22 and will be in our careers by the time she's 30. On my end, I get someone who I can trust because she is with me at my lowest, and on her end she gets to build a relationship DURING the education and we can settle down once we're done with our studies. We certainly can't have it all but I think this is the best choice given the circumstances.
Don't take a victory lap just yet. Med school and residency relationships don't last. Hope your does.
The problem is we all settle in some way. The average man has to understand that he may not get the most beautiful woman. The average woman has to be okay with not getting the most successful man. It seems as if the media is terribly misguiding people on how to choose a partner. We all look for superficial things instead of looking for people we are compatible with. This is the reality of most people. If nothing else, it sucks to be average.
I'm fairly intelligent, well-educated, and have a decent paying job. On top of that, I bagged the most incredible, handsome, and successful man ever so...yeah. Did great for me.
Maybe you're a reasonable woman. I find most women aren't like that once they have any kind of career success.
Who raises the kids while you are both at work? If you choose to not have kids that’s great, but children have to be considered above careers.
@@msi8311 no they don't. Both can be done fairly comfortably in this day and age. It's not 1943 anymore
@@basicfilmblog yeah society used to actually function in 1943.
It doesn’t anymore birthrates in the western world are well below replacement of population. Marriage rates are the lowest in history and divorce rates higher than ever.
2022 is a disaster demographically
@@whittakerwinstanleyiii4051 the 1940s were shit were a plethora of reasons. Good, there's too many people in the world anyway
God help the poor bastard that is a product of a woman's settling, for she will always resent him.
Look, she’s gonna resent him after a decade of marriage ANYWAY
@@nl3712 😂😂😂😂....
Do I want to have a man who prefers physical attraction to other qualities like experience, intelligence or mature love when it comes to marriage? To be honest in that case Ill stay single. It is the best alternative to a world driven by senses instead of spirit :-) I dont know in England, but in Germany people are having their children at 30-40 years old. Before that men and women concentrate on career.
Same in india
Coz in india
Both in love and arrange marriages
Doctor men marry doctor women
engineers marry enginee women
Actors marry female actors
Etc etc
It's the same in Argentina. It's weird to see girls in her 20's wanting to be a mom/spouse. Four of my friends have the "first kid" this year, and all of them are 35/36.
Some of the stuff Chris has talked about has been too uncomfortable for me, but not this. This is beautiful. Think of how much more amazing it is when you've finally found someone knowing what is stacked against you.
Can you explain a bit more please?? Like I am ready to marry a man who is not that intelligent. It's just that our political opinion should match and he has some interest in a field. It's fine if he is an artist and doesn't works too. So am I wrong here?
@@pratikshatiwari7011 i have to ask... why ask for input on a major life choice from a random stranger on the internet? I understand you want to get married but to what end? And to too it off, with a guy you described as “not that intelligent” ...how do you think you will feel spending the rest of your life with him? Can you picture the both of you raising children and over coming life challenges thrown at you?
Best of luck with your decision.
While these stats are interesting, they don’t really matter.
What isn’t being poled (and what actually matters) is how many married people are happy, what their heights are, and what their IQs are. This would be the integral data.
I want to win the lottery, but just because I want something doesn’t mean I’m going to get it. Settling for your mate is nothing new, people have been doing it since the dawn of humanity. You are never going to get everything you want or think you “deserve” in life. The point is to choose the best for the situation you find yourself in and be at peace with the choice you made.
The idea that men don’t have the option to settle is ridiculous. I know a lot of guys married to idiot women or Karen’s who settled pretty hard to have a family. They could have found better/kinder women, but they chose those women also.
Personality is a much bigger reason why someone is in a relationship or not. Contrary to popular belief, you can be in a relationship as a woman and get an education, and if you don’t, it’s your choice.
correlation or causation? Could it also be that these women have less interest in getting married?
I think this is correlation not causation. A woman with higher drive and iq is more likely to lead to choices that put off her setling until her late 30's. This goes back to fertility. A smart, driven woman who wants a family in her early 20s will have a very easy time finding a partner. I would argue, that if would be easier for her. Men are definitely attracted to traits of higher, intelligence and ambition, attractive. It's just that these qualities are overshadowed by age and entitlement... which ARE encouraged by our modern, culture.
Yes, they run out of single men looking to marry them
This is the best damn comment on here
@@suzygirl1843 1% of people
@@suzygirl1843 Yes, Affirmative Action is making a return for the worse. Hiring less able people in order to appease PC culture
@@suzygirl1843 Who's Olivia Jade?
The solution is, perhaps, easier than expected:
Family first, go for a career later.
But I guess the university system and the government wouldn't like to lose naive girls making loans for useless degrees, right?
This is exactly what needs to happen of course.
Women can always go for family first, career later. But if they decide on career first, they may not even get the chance to do family later because they have a biological clock plus they have higher competition for a mate at 25-29 and are going up against women that are 18-24. It's not nearly as bad as they think, but those younger girls have a massive edge over them (1 year difference in age is the difference in being able to have an extra child, which is massive).
Women marrying and having children younger means that they can stop having kids in their late 20's and ultimately end up going back to school at age 30 when the children are in school.
The only problem is that not all women can do this since a lot of men aren't exactly making a lot of money to help their own family. Hell, most men can barely afford an apartment. Inflation has impacted the modern family. No longer can a blue collar worker afford a family. He can barely get by on his own, sparing a few luxuries like new tech and maybe a slightly better car, much less support another human.
The way money has been impacted over the last 50 years has basically made it so women HAVE to participate in the job market, whether they like to or not.
That said, the best thing that can happen is that these young women look up to men in their 30's that have said money and their finances sorted out. They can no longer look to men that are younger and making just enough to get by.
Why should women put their careers or academia on hold to have children, unless they are, perhaps, single parents?
@@hannahlang4703 Fertility window. Look it up.
@@hannahlang4703 I know a lot of women, making good money and go down the sperm donation routes. Have a family and not have to partner up with a lower status man. It is ok to move through life as a single Mom.
@@kismet256 purposely choosing to be a single mother is deplorable. That child will be disadvantaged in every conceivable way. Including lower IQ, more likely to be depressed, commit suicide, be homeless, go to prison etc. a child needs two parents and a child’s well-being should be paramount.
It's easily fixable. The problem is our society's perception that a lawyer earning 300k is higher status than someone who can build a house.
Because 300k a year can buy multiple houses
@@UserName-ii1ce Are you living in the 90s? 300k after taxes is 150. Middle class living expenses with a family leaves you saving 50k a year if lucky. Then wait 10 years to buy a house, only to find it's gone up. You could hope to buy 2, max 3 in a working lifetime.
I'd say a skilled builder working on side projects as well as his regular job could achieve the same in the same amount of time.
Remember, the lawyer only makes more because of artificially complicated laws. They could be simplified enough that lawyers wouldn't be necessary, but we'd still need houses.
Maybe smarter women realize that marriage isn't a good deal for them.
2:20 It's completely fair given that while they're in their prime most men are invisible to them. It then becomes their turn to become invisible when they're older. And it's not like it happens all at once, they can still get a guy, just not as many or as high quality as they could when they were younger ignoring most men.
I got a kick out of that as well. Same as complaining it’s not fair that every man isn’t born a millionaire 😂
But guys, this isn't a problem. Women don't want quantity, they want quality.
With the state of divorce, men marry equity partners - the educated ones do anyway. Finding ONE good guy is the prize. Dating is for loosers 🤣
@@elizabethkraszewski6603 I can feel my body slowly morphing into a wallet whenever women flirt with me.
My wife is 6ft tall and taller than me. She decided that going for tall guys only was limiting the pool. That was when she was about 18. Of course, she is smarter than the average bear, by a lot. But she is an exception.
The weird thing is when women have commented on it (it's only women) like they are going get my goat or something. I treat them like the idiots they are.
Can you explain the last line please?
@@pratikshatiwari7011 A grown woman thinking they can get under my skin by pointing out that my spouse is taller is obvious still 9 years old mentally.
@@MrLuigiFercotti Absolutely.
It seems a lot if this comes down to narcissism and a lack of self awareness. If you're not attracting the cream of the crop that you think you deserve, either lower your standards or just learn be happy alone.
Women date up, not down. Those who achieve a level of wealth and status are invariably going to demand a man even higher than her, which reduces prospects to single digit percentage.
decimal percentage for some.
Which is not your problem basically. Unless you know you have to humble yourself in your pathetic list of I want a young and fertile lady, there's no incentive for ladies to reduce those standards with men. Your basic response is "that's how nature works" so there you have it
@@bradwhitt6768 lmao
What's the problem in women dating up, apart from being a hypocrite if she is a feminist who believes in gender equality and doesn't believe in gender normative roles.
In fact a self respecting man with even an iota of male ego must not date up, for what value you bring in that case as a man, maybe as a human being and spouse, but nothing as a man and husband, if you are not the primary protector and provider. You can't be a protector of someone more powerful than you and you can't be a provider of someone who earns more than you.
Morale to these statistics is young women are better to marry earlier and do their graduate education after their children are teens. Or like one I know marry a man she met at an awards ceremony for people on the Dean’s list.
@C D being a single parent rather than establishing a stable family based in marriage and a monogamous relationship is sadly foolish. It also rather blows out of the water one of the conclusions of the podcast that women aim up and therefore many men are “out”. Obviously too many males are mating without commitments and women are ok with it or there wouldn’t be so many children born into unstableness.
It's better for women if they have a career and marriage at the same time. If she works after she will work until she dies. If she gets her career early she can retire with a pension.
Who wants to work forever? Looming after her husband and her family then getting and education and career? It never stops for her yet he can retire.
@Wylee Coyotee I’m not sure your premise is correct. Women on average are able to have children from mid teens until around 40-45. If a woman gets an advanced degree she will start her career at about 24-26. That leaves about 25 years of working under high stress conditions, juggling pregnancy and work or waiting until near the end of those years to have children. Women I’ve known who married and had their children after undergraduate or high school graduation and then, when the children were mid teen or so returned to their education had more mature goals and much more satisfying careers. They aren’t doomed to work the rest of their lives but free to if they wish. Another alternative is a work place willing to accommodate parents who need to cut back on hours or commitment while their children are young without leaving the workplace entirely. I know two women who were research physicist who were able to share heading research projects while starting their families because they were valuable enough to their lab for accommodations to be made.
this video is great and helped me feel heard. I don't think it's a bad thing to learn to be humble and realize material things means shit. also men are not that superficial, they are looking for someone to care for them too not just her career . it ain't bleak as it looks. also I am highly successful and single yet I am excited by the freedom to meet so many people. singleness can be a privilege too.
Looks don't fade away... they live on in your children
So does intelligence
I don’t think it’s the woman’s fault all the time if she’s not married by 30 plus. In today’s society we’ve pressured women into making a career for themselves and with all the talk of feminism and toxic masculinity the men have become lazy in getting educated whereas the women are getting educated and furthering there careers. So once a woman does start to look let’s say around 25 she’s more aware and mature in what to look for a man in a marriage, whereas a woman who marries young around 19-20 she’s clearly not looking into what any requirements needed for a man besides the fact she’s happy she’s got a interest from a guy and all they look at is the appearance.
So you're admitting women have zero agency and are highly gullible and should not be held to the same standard as men?
@@commandershepard9601 how did you get this.
@@bibaolaitan5189 hes saying its not the woman's fault. That implies she has no agency. No self control. Things just happen to her and she has no choice.
It's so hard in today's society, our default mode as women is to be career driven because it's difficult to find men who want to commit and who's values and morals are aligned with yours. I'm 22, never dated or had any Romantic thung in my life, I've spent years just craving connection and love but I'm terrified to put myself out there because I'm scared of men, with all I've seen friends and family go through I genuinely don't trust anyone, I'm scared that I'll never allow myself to love and be loved . I've grown up in denial mode always saying I'm happy single and I don't need a man, the truth is I feel lonely a lot, I see so many friends in 4 year plus relationships, aince high school, and I want that. I want someone to share moments and life with and eventually build a family with, and I've gotten to a point where I feel so hopeless like it's never going to happen. So I decided now to just fully put my head down and focus on my career, and just avoid putting in any effort to potentially find a partner because it just seems like an endless pursuit of wishful thinking that's never coming true...
@@palesamphatsoe959 but that's the issue. Men don't care about your career. Its great you want to make something of yourself, but by the time you're ready to find a man, the man you're going to want isn't going to want you. You need to pick a guy when youre both young and build together. Youre gonna look for a man who's already built himself up and he might like you but there's a cuter younger version of you that works at McDonald's and the guy doesn't care. We date down all the time. Women just dont. Society lied to you.
This isn't really a dilemma if you take into account another asymmetry: men want to date many partners, women are looking for the right man. It might come from evolution. Males can have many babies with many females, while a female has a limited amount of "shots" to continue here gene line. She'd better find the guy with the best genes and who's the most likely to provide.
There's an anecdote that's been around for a while: "How does a smart girl get married? The answer: play dumb." So lots of this has already been common folk knowledge so to say. Unfortunately, the IQ of children born follows the IQ of the mother, and conscientiousness trait is also inherited, so smart hard-working women not getting married and not reproducing would lead to a society having fewer smart and hard-working kids.
This is why asians are getting richer. They push their women to get higher education.
How has it been proven the the IQ comes from the mother and not the father?
just do as humans as well as all creatures on this earth have done, adapt and survive. cant find a mate on your level? lower your standards until you can. refuse to lower your standards? learn to cope with being alone for the rest of your life, get a pet or make some friends etc. Humans are great at adapting, you will eventually make peace with your decisions and live out the rest of your life just fine.
Okay so this makes a lot of sense
The real question is: "Why do rich women not want to provide for their partner, unlike rich men?". The answer for that is the answer for all societal problems since feminism.
This 🎯
I think biggest problem romanic dynamics do not work like sexual dynamics. Romance is base personalty. Sex is base social status. The problem is certain personalties like doing certain jobs. So ENTJ women to get married likely have date down because her mate likely INTP male. INTPs are likely to earn less money than ENTJs. A women can work on career while having family. The problem is she usually can't marry career man. Some women who can date down will pass down their genes. As each generation pass less women will care about the mans money. Or it get point where all women has to date down which some women do in matrilineal societies which women have all the wealth.
I agree with you so much. I am now finishing my PhD, I am married. In my previous relationship we were both very career focused and that was creating problems all the time, with my now husband he is willing to move to where I go next, and to work less than me while I follow my passion and career. And I am much happier with him. Is just find what works for you, that might be totally different than what society thinks you should have. Also he is the hottie one... so I don't feel that I settled in any way, most of days I just feel super lucky to have found him.
Masculine women need to find feminine men, they might be compatible. The woman can earn and pamper her man, the man can just be a hottie and enjoy life. Just that being a hottie is the only value he can bring while a stay-at-home woman can bring more value as a child-bearer, apart from being pretty.
At the start, 48% of men feels way too high. Do you guys agree?
that's what guys said. a lot of guys are politically correct. fewer actually prefer a successful woman.
Agreed
There’s more tall women who will date average height men then there are average height men willing to date tall women. Same for IQ, age, success. Men are refusing women more often than they let on (or are aware of).
Simply not true.
How often does a man get asked out be a taller richer more intelligent woman. Probably never
One seems interested in me, I like her too, but i can sense we both don't know sure if we're good enough for each other. I get close, she pulls away, I leave her alone, she's after me... she's very educated, tall, and good-looking. She runs circles around me in her achievements as to mine. I'd never thought I'd be in this situation.
This makes sense of the " Dumb Blonde Stereotype as a dating strategy. An attractive woman may hide how very smart she is, to interest men who are wealthy, but not nearly as bright as She is. I was fortunate to a pair of MIT grad students. The wife was studying some exotic form of geometry at the PhD level. Her husband was getting a Master's in computer and electrical engineering, I believe. If the Lady had looked for a more educated spouse, she would have missed out on her marrying her husband. I hope they are well today, I lost track of them decades ago.
An MIT Master's in computer and electrical engineering isn't a huge step down for anybody short of Marie Curie.
I'm married to a woman who is quite intelligent. We both are. I love her dearly and wouldn't trade her in for anything, but she isn't exactly the most agreeable person in the world. Ever decision has to be an argument that I can't win unless I want to upset her. Even when I know I'm in the right. This is what you don't get with less intelligent, more agreeable women. Of course you also have to look to your friends for intelligent discussions with them, because they won't give you that. As I said, I have no regrets.
🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩your sacirifices
You keeping ur ego aside and letting ur wife win even tho she's wrong
Is what makes u a gentleman and s kind
She is very luck she found u
N u r lucky u found herb
@John Hammink you read a help of a lot into that that wasn't there. After 23 years of marriage I doubt she's going to up and leave me. LOL
The planet is over populated and people are superficial. The fact that so many are single and not breeding is a good thing.
@chris roy Scientists report that we are in the 6th extinction era on the planet. The 2100 Report has been out for some time. The Human Race has 80 years left before the extinction event occurs. Yellowstone is a super volcano, with 2 mega chambers, that will erupt. This will cause from the Rocky Mountains to the west coast to sink into the ocean followed by a long and sever volcanic winter. Get ready because it is coming.
@chris roy You are so sweet! Thank you for such a lovely comment. You've made my day. Unfortunately, I am old enough to be your grandmother and I am involved with a very intelligent, sexy, and loving man.
@@cassandraelliot7878 no grandmothers are involved with sexy men. stop lying to everybody.
@@lastapparatus6024 - I am not lying. I am born under the sign of Scorpio and have Italian, Spanish, and North African Berber DNA. Gals like me have skills and presence that some men find irresistible no matter how old we get. Remember me. The truth will be revealed.
@@cassandraelliot7878 :) I believe you now
Here in Mexico I see that women are more interested in having a successful family more than a wonderful career. My wife is an out of this world beauty and a very accomplished entrepreneur, she has a hardwood flooring factory and I'm a die-hard teacher and after 24 years we are as happy as we could be, she admires me and I have a profound admiration for her, and many couples, who are our friends, are like us. Having said that, I believe it is a cultural issue, idiosyncrasy, I presume. Very interesting topic Chris and Vincent, thanks.
😭😭😭😭so good to hear
Every person is differnet
This iswhy Mexico is still struggling like the rest of latin america.
Nobody care about career /job /being entrepreuneur
Como están las feministas en mexico?
there are not much families in mexico...no more.
When we start valuing motherhood and children more, this problem will begin to resolve.
Motherhood and children get in the way of competing against men for resources though.
Young women aren't interested in marriage or having children
@@sunfish4095 no, they get in the way of basic survival if that man decides to leave.
@@apebass2215 How often do human males abandon their mate and offspring? I know that it is very common in matriarchal communities. It is common for males to be very suspicious as to if they are the father so consequently male paternal investment can be low.
@@sunfish4095 do you really think it is more common that mothers abandon their offspring compared to fathers? What planet do you live on? Single mothers are a trope for a reason.
A king will marry a bar maid. A queen would NEVER marry a stable boy.
Sorry but any woman who is mad that men don't care about their education, got education for the wrong reasons. You get educated for yourself because you wanted to/wanted to improve yourself. As an educated woman, I got education because I love learning and being in the classroom. I can care less if men care about my degree.
We also care less thank u
lady, for some reason every time i go out with a girl suddenly she starts bragging about her career and education as if that makes her more attractive
I wonder how much of this is societal vs biological (ofc youth is a biological want but with IQ or wealth). Because maybe over time Men will be valued in society for more than just being secure and financially stable and so they could then feel less threatened by women being smart and richer. It's a power and status shift that I think will change again in the future.
It's not society will accept. It's in female biological nature to be with high value man above than her.
Women date *UP* and men prize a womans looks over her wealth/status.
Men aren't threatened lol! We dont value what women value in a partner
@@Anil-ih3ot I see that view sure but if women are levelling up to higher status and so the pool of men who are even higher is smaller then at some point a change will happen. Either women lower their standards or they pull out of the dating pool all together. That's my point.
If a woman is attracted to a man who would be a great stay at home dad, her being the breadwinner and supporting the family would be great. That way one parent can be with the kids. Myself, I am not attracted to stay at home fathers, I am attracted to men who allow me to be a stay at home mother. So I selected my partner based on many things, his ability to earn money was significantly weighed. I could have been with more physically attractive men, but their earning potential was nothing near my husbands.
@M Si then you'd better get one that makes a shitload of money to support everyone
It's because men are intimidated by goddesses we have business mentality we have a awesome body everybody wants us so that's why we don't get married it takes a king to marry a queen
It is worse that you laid out. A successful woman earning $200k, now needs to find a top 5% guy earning $300k. Except, those are specifically the men who either won't settle down, who can demand a top 10% women in terms of looks (heavily tied to youth), and who specifically don't want successful woman for several reasons -- (a) yes, age and fertility, but also (b) they won't be home to raise the children, (c) they aren't there to support him, (d) they add their own drama, (e) successful women are typically aggressive, competitive, less caring, and (f) is around other hyper-successful men, etc. Why does a guy want that when he can have a 25 year-old waitress who values him?
Kevin Samuels deals with this issue every week.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this dichotomy I constantly encounter: men say they want an intelligent/independent/sexy women who generally has her shit together (which takes a degree of financial success), but, once in a relationship with said women, they complain she's not feminine enough (because she can't be flirty/fun 24/7), etc and she more and more has to take on the role of his mom.
I suppose it's the dynamics of a hetosexual relationship. I think men will say anything that is PC. Once that ring is on the finger, it's like OK, family-mode now. Which isn't bad unless you're a career-woman.
I would say it is incorrect. I don't think the majority of men are saying that is what they want in a woman and if they do it is something they've been told they want. Men, just as women, wants a someone to complement them and make them feel needed and appreciated. Men are looking for someone feminine (not the same as sexy/flirty but more like submissive and soft/pleasant) and nurturing because men are worse at that than women (take the role of their mum as you say) so that is something most men lack. Men don't want to compete with their woman career wise and trying to out earn her. Most men get enough of that at work. There are plenty of other videos on youtube talking about this.
@@dorkflassbury1164 Yes, men are attracted to feminine traits. Your career is on you, it isn't a deciding factor (for me anyway).
Which man said this?? I get the sexy part but the rest?? There are men who say this type of stuff however those men are top 10% of all men. I refuse to believe a 50k per year man is asking for all that except for the sexy part?
I wouldn't marry a woman that wasn't gentle, affectionate and family oriented.
One aspect about is also the fact that women are not willing to settle for a men who is "beneath" them in terms of financials.
and settling is a strong word.
women who decide to become career woman, have to realize... you are putting yourself in the position of the breadwinner.
you are taking up the space of the traditional masculine role that is being the provider (and protector)
so women leave behind their homemaker role, which is fine, but then still expect men to become breadwinner's as well, even though they just left the homemaker role open, but still keep it to themselves instead of letting go and giving it to their man and accepting that as a careerperson who wants to marry and have children, it's your responsibility to take care of your family.
Financially that is. Men can still be the protector, but you would take over as the provider.
and I think women should think about that, even if you still come the conclusion that you want a breadwinner husband, having given it a thought leads to probably a healthier future relationship
While it’s not perfect, the best solution for women is to lock down a man first, and then work on their other aspirations. If they have a good relationship it will outweigh the woman’s hypergamous tendencies as well as the man’s preference for young women. Those tendencies are how men and women choose each other prior to knowing each other. Once they are in a good relationship, both will stand by those who treat them well as the default. Even if the man is poor or the woman is old.
The height of a woman is not very important to a man. As long as she isn't much taller than him, it's not an issue. Conversely, a man's height is the most important thing to a woman. This is self evident.
Come to India
And see below average social economic looking educated trash personality men reject women
I disagree. You mistaken smart with "educated". These are world's apart
Women don't need to dumb themselves down just to feed male mediocrity and comfort male insecurity. The fact that these men are trying to say that women need to do that is exactly the problem.
I don't think that being well off adversely effects women in the way most think. Most women can't date down not even a little so basically the amount of men a career woman is interested in has shrunk, meanwhile those same men she likes have not shrunk their own options as much. Men do care about a woman's background especially high flying men; few would want to marry some modelesque girl who could only manage to be senior barista at Starbucks.
2:50 But there is no need for them to lie about education. Women are the ones hung up on that, men are not.
No. Being smart or rich FOR WOMEN only marginally increases their chances.
FOR MEN being smart or rich are PRIMARY benefits.
We all reap what we sow. Millennial women chose jobs over families. Essentially money over love. I have pity on them.
Agree. I work in a profession with lots of childless women over 40. Its sad
@@adrienneclarke3953 they’re looking at you, thinking, whew! Glad I’m not HIS wife. Poor lady.
@@hhardy2591 Get an education. Adrienne is feminine, Adrian is masculine. I had children in my 20's and find it sad how many of my friends and peers put their careers first and now have no children or family. Many of them are unhappy about this.
Some chose survival bc we’ve seen in generations of the women before us get cheated on and emotionally and physically abused. So some “millennial women” are surviving for themselves not to compete with men or want a HVM, but just choosing to survive. Period
@@Nah-ah survive, Jesus christ talk about dramatic. Youre not fighting in world war 2.
We shouldn't conflate 'smart' with 'educated.' The former takes intelligence, the latter takes time and money.
Good comment.
"It's a kick to the cooch", is the phrasing you were searching for.
I know it's biology and all, but that saying of "There's a new 18 yo everyday" is horribly gross. I know there are exceptions of succesful marriages with big age differences, but more often than not, the relationship is predatory based on the difference in brain developement and, hence, power dynamics. The brain fully develops around 25.
I'm not saying to wait until then to have a child as a woman, if that's what you want - but there's quite a difference between a 30-35 yo man dating an 18 yo vs dating a 23 yo woman. Plus, the different reasons of dating that we have nowadays are further complicating that (we don't date only for marriage or children). And that problem even takes on a pedophilic road in some cultures, with child brides and all.
If we are to grow as a civillization it's one of the things that should be worked out, together with the biological aspect of it.
this is why most of us are single. I'd rather be single than ever have a guy with that mindset.
@@tessamarie8698 for your information 80% of men think like that, good luck future cat lady
Married and in my 50s .. if I could go back and redo everything I would still go for a suzy homemaker. don't care about the rest, even looks are over rated .. an average or even slightly below average looking woman with an INTEREST in making a happy home is far more prized in my eyes. This high tech society we're pushing isn't making us happier, it's making us miserable. Family > all. the rest of this is just pointless naval gazing. Besides, so much of this dating crap is based on illusory goals when in the end how you get to spend your time in loafers with a potbelly is what's real. and likewise so much of this is also just pure genetic lottery on brains, health, drive etc.
This comment should be pinned, this is what all the women are missing if I could like it 1000 times I would
Let
Me
Help
Give
Women should not diminish themselves to applaud a man’s mediocrity. That’s not love, that’s performative. He thinks you think more of him than you do, and you are acting like less than you are. You’re both lying to one another and that’s no basis for a real authentic relationship. Be yourself ladies, even if you’re smart. If he needs you to be less for him to feel like more-that’s no real relationship-he doesn’t want real love-he simply wants an ego stroking. A real alpha male wants to tame a lioness-no valour in leading an incompetent dependent indoor cat. The lady who is capable but chooses to submit to a man is far more a reflection of his actual competence. Incapable women only make men aim for mediocrity. A real warrior conquers a competent opponent..not a kid army lol. Women want real masculinity not relative masculinity lol. JBP says it best-tell the truth in your relationships.ua-cam.com/video/nQtQyhPAm0w/v-deo.html
agreed. if you "play dumb" you can improve your chances of getting a guy but he's probably not who you want. In reality though, it makes getting what you want a lot more difficult but it is probably worth the while. You may never get it but who's to say living alone for the rest of your life is worse than being stuck with mediocrity? At the end of the day we make choices in life and have to make peace with them.
I think the story should be is educated women who are full of themselves are often left alone. So are men who are arrogant and think they are smarter than everyone. Getting educated doesn't make one better, it just broadens the perspective.
@AsymptoticTime Being smart have nothing to do with education. I love smart women and educated ones. The problem is when people get educated they often become arrogant and annoying. They think the world revolve around their greatness. It goes both ways.