How Do You Correct A Child's Bad Behavior With Positive Parenting?

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  • Опубліковано 20 сер 2019
  • When children make a mistake or do something bad, sometimes parents explode! This isn't a great way to teach our children, and the negativity that revolves around that isn't great for our health too. In today's video, me and Vicki are going to discuss how to correct a child's bad behavior with positive parenting.
    00:20 What is bad behavior?
    00:52 Police your language
    01:40 Get to "yes" (yes, when... / yes, if...)
    02:31 Avoid criticizing your child in public
    03:59 Sometimes we don't see them doing good
    04:21 Become a monitor of good behavior
    05:09 Let the consequence be the guide
    06:30 We think we have to provide consequence right away
    07:45 Shame versus Guilt
    09:54 Increase the time you give to your child to have a voice
    Find out more about Positive Parenting here:
    parentingpowerup.com/
    Watch and Enjoy!
    Dr. Paul Jenkins
    For a FREE digital copy of my mini-book, Portable Positivity, visit this link:
    bit.ly/2PoIDam
    Schedule your FREE Parenting Breakthrough call here:
    calendly.com/liveonpurpose/pa...
    LINKS & RESOURCES:
    ========================
    Website: www.drpauljenkins.com/
    Books & CD’s: drpauljenkins.com/products/
    The Parenting Power-up Audio Course: parentingpowerup.com/
    Free digital copy of Portable Positivity: bit.ly/2PoIDam
    MUSIC
    ========================
    Track: Kisma - We Are [NCS Release]
    Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds.
    Watch: • Kisma - We Are | House...
    Licensed under Creative Commons - Attribution 3.0
    ========================
    Video by Nate Woodbury
    BeTheHeroStudios.com
    / natewoodbury
    #LiveOnPurpose
    #PositiveParenting

КОМЕНТАРІ • 252

  • @dreamtoonofficialchannel
    @dreamtoonofficialchannel 2 роки тому +155

    hey, you. whoever’s reading this, this is your sign. everything’s gonna be okay. you did not come this far to give up. I believe in you ❤️ dddd

  • @tsolberg4503
    @tsolberg4503 4 роки тому +51

    I love you guys!
    Our 4 year Old is very stubborn, does not want to help (my own fault).
    The other Day he said: mom can you get me my LEGO upstairs, I said, I would like you to go get it yourself. He gets angry and says NO.
    I said either you go get it yourself or you can pay me to go get it, I got his attention (your advice with giving to options I’m okay with). He said I’ll pay you afterwards. I said no. He said ok I’ll get the money. Then he asked, will I get the money back when I come back. Me; no.
    He got up and got the LEGO without being moody at all..!
    Thank you so much for you channel - how can you not have millions of views!
    I also watch your “anger management for mothers” every night 😂

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому +1

      I love hearing about the success people are having with positive parenting. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Kale-lover Veggie! I hope it gives other parents ideas and faith that it works with lots of practice. Honored to have you on the channel!

    • @theblissfulparent
      @theblissfulparent 2 роки тому +3

      My four year old has turned this around on me! Now he gives ME two options (which are often absurd) lol

  • @DanceToHeal
    @DanceToHeal 3 роки тому +66

    One thing I have learned about shame and guilt is, I often see my biggest self issues in my children. Be that social awkwardness, loud, emotional, willingness to push back on authority, jumping from one thing to another, etc... as I start recognizing the issue in myself, and heal from the negative talk surrounding it, and giving myself permission to love that part of myself (as I am still learning and growing up) it’s a lot easier to be merciful and patient with my children- because I’m being merciful and patient with myself. ❤️ thank you for your work!!

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому +2

      Rachelle Glanfield, thank you for your positivity and being here in our community.

    • @theblissfulparent
      @theblissfulparent 2 роки тому +3

      That is so true! I too have noticed that I have to work on myself because I see my flaws in them and it creates a lot of tension

    • @janedoe09
      @janedoe09 2 роки тому

      How True!!! I share the same, despite my son being in his mid 20's now...I'm still learning the 'parenting game'....wishing I had this video and similar as he was growing up...best to you....deep breaths of positivity in and negativity Out! Happy New Year :)

  • @mamania93
    @mamania93 4 роки тому +40

    Watching this and I was like “That’s what I needed when I was young!” That I wanted to be that kind of parent to my child.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +1

      Well Nia Lopez, you can still apply these principles to any current interaction you have with children. Thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV.

    • @ninjalina1207
      @ninjalina1207 3 роки тому

      2
      M m mmm

    • @theblissfulparent
      @theblissfulparent 2 роки тому +1

      It's so awesome when you can make that conscious choice to parent differently

  • @naghmanaparray6446
    @naghmanaparray6446 3 роки тому +7

    You guys are heaven sent, I wish you guys were around 10 yrs back, I always wished parents could be more aware on how to respond to children, before things got out of hand. I sure could have learned a lot from this channel, raising 3 boys on my own.

  • @ablatalhami3153
    @ablatalhami3153 4 роки тому +4

    I love your videos and this by far is my favorite one! I listen to it over and over again to help me remember the tips when I need them. I hope it becomes second nature and I find that the more I listen the easier it is to remember to react calmly when I need to. It is an effort and I hope it becomes second nature. I'm sure it takes a lot of practice so I try not to beat myself up too much and do better next time. It definitely helps when you give examples.
    Thank you so much for your support. Parenting is the toughest job for sure!

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +1

      Abia Talhami, It is a tough job and it takes lots of effort, but we CAN parent positively. I believe that.

  • @sarahlowry9633
    @sarahlowry9633 4 роки тому +19

    Thank you so much! This will help in my marriage as well! I’ve been working on being more positive.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      Sarah Lowry, I love it when couple work on something together, doesn't matter the goal, you will strengthen your relationship.

  • @shantellelee7684
    @shantellelee7684 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you so much for all of the valuable information you provide.

  • @mediocrefloridaman
    @mediocrefloridaman 4 роки тому +5

    You two are the best! Thank you for all of your videos. Self help and self education should be embraced more and pursued and i hope your videos will reach more and eventually all parents that struggle. God bless you and your family and may you continue to be able to bless others.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +1

      Thank you for your kinds words, Andrew V! I appreciate you and everyone who watches. Together we can make the world a better place, starting with our children.

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- 4 роки тому +3

    "We are free to decide" is positive. 😃 THANK YOU.. FOR SHARING..

  • @jennyli7749
    @jennyli7749 2 роки тому +10

    Paul I have lately been addressing an issue where my 10 year old has started to lie, which obviously is bad behaviour and I’ve been using your strategy to help with this issue and nipping it in the bud. The results are clear to see and it appears she’s also more confident in coming to me instead of avoiding issues then being tempted to lie. Thank you again ❤️

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Jenny Li, thanks for letting me know! Glad the ideas are helpful.

  • @kermittime6507
    @kermittime6507 4 роки тому +12

    Thank you for your very valuable work! Parenting is really the best way to make the world a better place, a quiet revolution as I like to call it. Sorry for bombarding you guys with my comments, it’s just I’ve only recently discovered this channel and really appreciate the content and the level of professionalism, and how you can explain difficult topics in a simple and practical way.

  • @amyjames6791
    @amyjames6791 2 роки тому +12

    I’m so glad I found your channel. You’re giving me the tools to be the parent I want to be. I didn’t have any positive examples growing up

  • @frequentlybrilliant
    @frequentlybrilliant 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you for these videos! They are very helpful.

  • @elisez478
    @elisez478 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for all the information. I take notes on all your videos 🌸🌸🌸

  • @marinac8398
    @marinac8398 4 роки тому +7

    Excellent advice! Grateful to have you both sharing all the positive ways :) thank you

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      Marina C, glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

    • @marinac8398
      @marinac8398 4 роки тому

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV my pleasure. Always learning something great with you

  • @ashusam7084
    @ashusam7084 2 роки тому +1

    This is what i am doing now, i am full of "NO, and Don't do' s ", This leads my twins to copy me and saying and doing accordingly instead of changing their character. I will come up with positive parenting and positive behavior here after. Thank you for sharing us this awesome video.

  • @fatimangara4538
    @fatimangara4538 3 місяці тому

    Thanks 😊❤.. luv your truth

  • @yolaniepieters6665
    @yolaniepieters6665 Рік тому +1

    Such good advice, thank you!

  • @roopa230390
    @roopa230390 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you so much😊

  • @candaceliebenberg248
    @candaceliebenberg248 4 роки тому +2

    Yeyyyy!!! My Fav channel. Thanks for your guidance.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      Thank you and you're welcome, Candace Liebenberg!

  • @fefecrow
    @fefecrow 4 роки тому +4

    I will try to get to yes from now on!! I love this.

  • @SpiritCoach-0
    @SpiritCoach-0 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you! 💖

  • @ReflectingShadow
    @ReflectingShadow 4 роки тому +10

    looks like i'm already doing all of these - THANKS TO YOUR CHANNEL! plus my son is pretty strong on the good behavior side which makes it easy for me :)

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      RS, being grateful for what we have is a great way to model positivity in your life.

    • @asta9386
      @asta9386 2 роки тому

      You are lucky keep monitoring that behavior and his social circle into teen and young adulthood.

  • @marinawilkinson5840
    @marinawilkinson5840 4 роки тому +4

    Great advice. Thank you. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +1

      MARINA WILKINSON, Honored to be on your team.

  • @gwenhaklin6037
    @gwenhaklin6037 2 роки тому +2

    You guys are so cute and sassy, I love your videos! I'm currently going thru difficulty with my 3 year old especially ever since baby brother arrived a few weeks ago. I depend on these videos keep em coming!

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому +1

      Gwen, we are honored to be on your team. No plans to stop.

  • @silverscreencc
    @silverscreencc 3 роки тому +3

    We R so fortunate today to have such availability to good advice for parenting skills. Thank you for sharing.

  • @mariaeberhardt7709
    @mariaeberhardt7709 3 роки тому +1

    Great lecture!

  • @saprinahoward8834
    @saprinahoward8834 Рік тому +1

    Love this channel im learning

  • @gypsymumma9015
    @gypsymumma9015 10 місяців тому +1

    Great advice

  • @janetspiteri5043
    @janetspiteri5043 4 роки тому +7

    You guys are so awesome!! Love this!! Thank you 😁

  • @margaretjudice8944
    @margaretjudice8944 2 роки тому +1

    Great advice! I like Brene Brown too! Thank you for sharing!

  • @mytahiti1004
    @mytahiti1004 4 роки тому +3

    I appreciate your videos.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      My Tahiti, I appreciate you being here - thank you for watching.

  • @padmajasrinath6715
    @padmajasrinath6715 4 роки тому +14

    Thanks for the great tips. How do handle a child who always talks back, blames and finds excuses?

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +3

      Padmaja Sriniath, If the child is truly uncooperative, then the only thing that works are consequences.

    • @mysteryguy793
      @mysteryguy793 4 роки тому +2

      @I Love The Colour Pink smacked backside? Nothing positive about it.

    • @ashleelinebaugh6451
      @ashleelinebaugh6451 4 роки тому

      You can still make a spanking positive. You can more than likely even comfort them some and even Express to them that you don't want to spank them but you have to.

    • @Cityheart221
      @Cityheart221 3 роки тому +1

      @@mysteryguy793 A spanking, not a beating, may be necessary sometimes just not all the time. There is time out. The length of time depends on the offense comitted. Taking away a toy or a technology device for a period of time. A lot depends on the age and personality if the child. Reiterate that it's the action they are being punished for instead of them. Never as easy as it sounds and with some children I found it takes a few times before they get it. The personality of the child is an issue as some seem to like to see a parent react. I'm not a professional. But these worked for me as a parent. If you have consistently tried these and they don't work then I do not have any suggestions since these worked with my children.

  • @gabriellahsdancingheart8808
    @gabriellahsdancingheart8808 2 роки тому +2

    Me: We'll talk about that after dinner.
    Kid: Awesome. Mom will forget all about it.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Sometimes it is a delay tactic, hang in there and get to Stage 3.

  • @libertyloveslife5602
    @libertyloveslife5602 2 роки тому +1

    My hubby and I are taking PCIT training and it has been so effective on one of my very challenging kids!!!

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому +1

      Love it. Glad you two are together in this, you are the parents your child needs.

  • @pcharm3711
    @pcharm3711 3 місяці тому

    I love this couple ❤❤

  • @taurinice
    @taurinice 2 роки тому

    ❤❤❤
    The behavior that gets attention is the behavior that gets reinforced..
    Positive phrasing is sooooo effective...
    Soo many great points here!!! Love
    All behavior is communication...
    Children are seeking connection not attention...

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Tauri Nice, thank you for watching and commenting.

  • @poojas1502
    @poojas1502 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks a lot 😊 Your guidances are making me to change my own behaviour a lot...... ,,🙏

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      You are welcome, Pooja Srinandi! Honored to be on your team.

  • @thenightspitter
    @thenightspitter 8 місяців тому +1

    Thank you very much for ur videos and ur time. I got 1st child 4 months ago, since im very nervous person who gets triggered very easily this is what i need to train myself to be better parent. Best regards and keep up the good work ❤

  • @jerseygirl049
    @jerseygirl049 2 роки тому +2

    Yay this helps a lot. My 1 yr old is testing my patience these days lol I'm gonna work on redirecting, not saying NO all the time.

  • @SilvanasKitchen
    @SilvanasKitchen 3 роки тому +4

    Hi Guys from Sydney 😀
    This is a great video, I love it❤️
    I have 2 kids they are 8 and 6.
    6 year daughter she behaves very well and she does whatever we tell her To do. Which is great.
    Our son is 8 years of age, when he was a baby he had a separation anxiety since four months. Now he’s much better with his anxiety, we can leave him with his grandparents and whatever we think he should stay with. When he started school two years ago she used to cry every day because he wants me to be next to him all the time, now he is very happy going to school no problems.
    But his behaviour sometimes is very as we say annoying, for example he looks like he’s always upset annoyed or something is not like he wants to be like, especially when our close cousins come to our house or we go to their house he’s always irritable upset with something and when we tell him not to be like that we think it is better to find something to play with While we are there.
    And he always says that he doesn’t want to play with them. And when somebody wants to cuddle him or say hi to him he would be like don’t touch me I don’t like it and he is upset with that. And many people are asking us why is he like that is wrong.
    He is a very sensitive person he can cry very easily because of his frustration. He has a very nice heart very warm person, kids love to play with him, he has Very good ideas how to play and want to play.
    Dr Paul
    Can you please help us to figure out how to help him not to be like that. We want him to be a happy child and to have fun with everybody as much as he can.
    Thank you so much

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому

      Silvana's Kitchen, I am not sure what is going on here from your comment. I would try to educate others and let them know that it is o.k. for him to set boundaries and if he isn't comfortable being touched, then don't. Work with him on how he communicates his frustration through his words or actions.

    • @SilvanasKitchen
      @SilvanasKitchen 3 роки тому

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV
      Thank you so much, we will try that 🙏

    • @royalthree690
      @royalthree690 2 роки тому

      @@SilvanasKitchen I have a 7 year old that is the exact same way. He takes time to warm up to social events and if we push him to go and play he’ll resist I’ve learned that if we leave him alone and let go when he’s ready he has more fun that way. But for the mood and grumpy part like you mentioned he’s the same he seems mad but I’ve learned thru positive communication he’s responded a lot better.

    • @catharinemendez8215
      @catharinemendez8215 Рік тому

      Hi,
      Try to pay close attention to any anxiety your child exhibits. I have a 14 year old who was recently diagnosed with Anxiety and SPD (sensory Processing Disorder). The anxiety is a direct result of his SPD. You are a safe place for your child. People may not understand his behavior, and sometimes we feel the need to correct it as soon as possible without understanding the root of it, because our children’s behavior tends to reflect on us, and we as parents are looked at a certain way. But your child is your highest priority. Figure out where his separation anxiety comes from. It seems that he is still heavily dealing with it, just not with crying, as he is now older and has adapted another way of dealing with it. Seek out a Psychiatrist or someone who can evaluate him, and direct you both on how to deal with these feelings while he is still young.

    • @catharinemendez8215
      @catharinemendez8215 Рік тому

      I meant 13 year old.

  • @clsatc
    @clsatc 4 роки тому +3

    Thanks guys. As educated i am about the stages of cognitive development, it helped me so much the way dr. paul simplifies it into the control/maturity graph. Now here is my dilemma. What do i do (as a mom) when my child in stage 1 wants all the control!!

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +1

      Thank you for the kind words, Carol Spillman. I have gotten a lot of use with the control and maturity model. I suggest that you first have your child watch my video entitled, "How To Convince Your Parents To Get A Dog," here: ua-cam.com/video/v-o7L_Mwbgw/v-deo.html. Then discuss with her/him afterwards that in order for them to obtain more control, they need to be in stage 2 or 3 behavior. If they display immature or stage 1 behavior and choices, you as the parent are obligated to retain most of the control.

  • @khandakarnilimayasmin1919
    @khandakarnilimayasmin1919 6 місяців тому +1

    Hello there! Thanks for the video. I would love to learn a lot about positive parenting, as sometimes I feel lost myself in taking care of my 7year kid. I really hope that you hear me and my issues can be guided through your video.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  6 місяців тому

      Absolutely! If you need more help, join our online community go.liveonpurposecentral.com.

    • @khandakarnilimayasmin1919
      @khandakarnilimayasmin1919 6 місяців тому

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV Sure. I will be joining there soon.

  • @Sivazhere
    @Sivazhere Рік тому +1

    This is great

  • @terrivh
    @terrivh 2 роки тому +1

    I have a 5 year old granddaughter who has melt downs. Something dosent go her way or she thinks someone did something mean she will cry and cry. She won't talk to anyone and if you approach her she turns away! She talks about how we don't know the real her. She can't be the real her. Today I redid a fort for them so blanket wouldn't fall down. And that was the worse. I am mean grandma. She sat and cried and talked to herself for over a hour. I tried to get her to talk about how we can be calmer when someone makes her upset. Nope won't

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Terri VH, she might benefit from some counseling to learn how to identify her feelings and what to do with them. Best to leave her alone and be there when the storm has passed.

  • @timmeralove
    @timmeralove Рік тому +1

    Thank you I needed this my son is having issues at school and need ways to work with him to help with his behavior

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  Рік тому

      Timmera James, you are not alone and we are happy to help.

  • @kristenholmes1768
    @kristenholmes1768 2 роки тому +1

    I started watching your videos almost a year ago and I have changed my own reactions..because thats the number 1 thing I can control. I have become more patient and no longer yell thanks to your eye opening videos. However, my son just started kindergarten and is having a lot of attention seeking behaviors and he has little patience. Do you have a video available on this topic? Also is it fair to punish them for bad behaviors that happen at school when I find out much later? He’s in stage 1 and I feel the consequence has to be fairly immediate for him.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Kristen Holmes, I agree, consequences are best when given closer to the action and natural ones are the best. It might work to have a daily report come home and connected to something at home. That way he knows he won't get away with something and that you support the school. It is early in the year and hopefully he will figure a few things out fairly soon. If not, keep in contact with the school and consider a change of teachers.

  • @christinaduvall815
    @christinaduvall815 2 роки тому +1

    One comment that always burns me to the core is hearing a parent tell their child that "they are bad!" Do you really think your child is bad? No!!! They made a bad choice or decision. If you are saying this to your child please stop now! You are setting them up to think they are a bad person and they're not

  • @sakinakharrubi6303
    @sakinakharrubi6303 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you again... is there a way dr Paul could start doing a series on how to fix a relationship between parents and toddlers once a parent has started on a bad foot? Also... I haven’t seen any vids on dealing with naptime/ bedtime tantrums? I’m sorry if I’m asking for things that are already addressed!! Thank you all again for all the amazing content you put out for us completely uneducated parents!! It’s really changing my relationship with my toddler already.. but I just don’t know how to change the damage already done 😢

    • @sakinakharrubi6303
      @sakinakharrubi6303 4 роки тому +1

      Also!! Could you pleeeease do a video on how to deal with jealousy and physical violence among siblings?? Thank you !!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому +5

      I am so honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV, UmMunir Bashlah. We have several videos that I believe address your concerns. Let me know in another comment if you want something different and I will consider doing a video on it. Remember, practice makes progress - you aren't going to see changes over night. Be patient with yourself! (And your kids.)
      "How To Apologize To Your Child For Yelling" - ua-cam.com/video/qdI64bs8Ia0/v-deo.html
      "How To Rebuild Trust With A Child That You Have Yelled At In The Past" - ua-cam.com/video/fkcMCa3cbqo/v-deo.html
      "How To Get Kids To Sleep" - ua-cam.com/video/hML_FuZko-U/v-deo.html
      "Top 10 Ways To Get Your Child To Sleep | Ending Bedtime Battles" - ua-cam.com/video/rdvcEdONaNk/v-deo.html
      "How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry" - ua-cam.com/video/ptCh4FQ7mDc/v-deo.html
      "How To Stop Siblings From Fighting" - ua-cam.com/video/W_FGqTY7pSM/v-deo.html
      "How To Stop Siblings Fighting All The Time" - ua-cam.com/video/R-7tOd67jLQ/v-deo.html
      "How To Handle Kids Fighting" - ua-cam.com/video/aPq1Ks36dB8/v-deo.html

    • @sakinakharrubi6303
      @sakinakharrubi6303 3 роки тому

      Thank you so much for all the resources!! I will definitely check out all the vids!! They are so beneficial, God bless you all!! 🙏💯

  • @kathytr616
    @kathytr616 2 роки тому +1

    - instead of say no, find ways to redirect activity or behaviour. eg. naughty toddler does something instead of saying "stop!" simply say "hey how bout we do this instead" ... eventually get to a 'yes' or 'yes when' which is more positive than saying 'no' which is more negative, when we say no less it will increase its value when we do say it.
    - don't correct them in public- take care of correction in private way. approach in positive language. keep it on the upside.

  • @marinamel4707
    @marinamel4707 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks very much. I have 3 boys in different ages, and too hard for me.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      You can do it! We have resources at go.liveonpurposecentral.com.

  • @karynnekrasowski3525
    @karynnekrasowski3525 2 роки тому +1

    I have such a hard time with people "redirecting" toddlers/kids with certain behaviors. The behavior is never addressed if you're just redirecting. My kid kept getting hit HARD by the same kid and the parents didn't want time out or any focus on the negative behavior, just redirection. Then guess what happened? It never changed, the behavior wasn't discussed. My kid crying and not wanting to play with him wasn't enough, and redirection wasn't enough. I feel like even though they're young, we should still have a discussion about the behavior and maybe a time in, especially when someone is getting hurt or in danger.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Karynne Krasowski, agreed, we need to teach children that some behaviors are not permitted.

  • @mamta3362
    @mamta3362 4 роки тому +1

    Great

  • @batriuslydiajayadurai
    @batriuslydiajayadurai Рік тому +1

    I appreciate your service, your videos are excellent and its very well working with my 5 year old.
    My 5 years old is continuing to hit other children and teachers at school. I am trying to teach him about love, care, affection and mercy. But he is implementing those only with parents and not others. For example, If a kid is crying because of him bothering he/she, My son couldn't recognize that they don't like it or they are
    hurt or in Pain. As parents we are going through a lot of headache, Please advice us on how to make him socialize

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  Рік тому

      There are games out there that teach feelings and what to do with them. Do a search on the internet. Talk to a counselor and see what they recommend in your area. It is good for kids to role play situations such as you describe and above all stay positive and role model kindness.

  • @hotguy7318
    @hotguy7318 2 роки тому +1

    Good video.

  • @fefecrow
    @fefecrow 4 роки тому +2

    Mrs. Referrenced a ladys name that I assume has a book but there is no reference in the description or link to what she was referring to. Bernae Brown or something

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +1

      Yes, I believe what Vicki was referencing was Brené Brown's TED talk; you can watch it here: ua-cam.com/video/psN1DORYYV0/v-deo.html.

  • @Natedoc808
    @Natedoc808 3 роки тому +2

    Odd because in a prior video you stated not to use questions when you’re really making a statement so the “why don’t you try this instead” simply leads to “because I’d rather do this.”

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому

      Natedoc808, depends on the situation, the people involved, ages, etc.

  • @user-xw4vo3gu8i
    @user-xw4vo3gu8i 4 роки тому +4

    Thanks,could u please tell us the solution about teen behaviour please

  • @frederikVtube
    @frederikVtube 3 роки тому +4

    What's your advice for a 2 year old toddler that won't listen and says no to your positive alternatives? I' Dutch we have a saying "I'm two and I say no"

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому +1

      RAVEN, we need to learn what is normal behavior at each stage and have a positive attitude with our kids, they will eventually outgrow the stage.

    • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
      @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 роки тому

      Ignore the “no” their no really has no power until we give it to them by giving in

  • @FAFashionwithstyle
    @FAFashionwithstyle 2 роки тому +1

    Can you please make aa video on how to get back normal behaviour of a three years old toddler,
    I had been so harsh and loud to him now I feel he relactent to share and talk to me.
    He starts shouting, crying, throwing things when he get angry or does not get what he want.
    I get fadeup when he shouts and don't listen even a single word and don't want to calm down even on giving alternate.
    Please share a link or make a video on it.
    I would be thankful.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому +1

      Fashion and Beauty, it will take time. Remain calm and smile and he will learn to trust you again.

    • @FAFashionwithstyle
      @FAFashionwithstyle 2 роки тому

      Thanks for your reply. I also get mad when he do so for no reason or on small matters.

  • @judithabamwa7009
    @judithabamwa7009 Рік тому +1

    My children fight alot...tired and fedup

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  Рік тому +1

      I get that. It can be draining. Reward proper behavior as much as you can.

    • @judithabamwa7009
      @judithabamwa7009 Рік тому

      Oh thank u. I felt it was just my kids that fight alot

  • @Pumpkinpie423
    @Pumpkinpie423 4 роки тому +1

    So I have an important question on a video idea. I'm a single stay at home mom that just had a baby and my toddler son and school age daughter try to miss behave while I'm in the middle of breastfeeding my newborn and in the worst way and I've tried redirecting but they don't fall for it and continue doing what they do how do I go about stopping bad behavior during breastfeeding?

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +2

      Angela Burdick, first, thank you for watching and doing your best to be a positive parent. My first thought is to have the children do separate activities in separate areas of the house (maybe one in their bedroom while the other one is near you). Some parents let their children watch a movie or play games on a device if they are needed to be calm and quiet for a short period of time. I will add your idea to the production list.

    • @Pumpkinpie423
      @Pumpkinpie423 4 роки тому +1

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV I will definitely try that thank you:)

  • @Oc-girl
    @Oc-girl 2 роки тому +1

    I came here because my 6 year old gets easily frustrated and angry super fast when things don’t go his way or his brothers doesn’t do what he wants him to do. He screams at the top of his lungs and I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ how to help him to stop doing that. I’ve tried talking to him and redirecting but not having any success. Feel so hopeless 😔

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      You might want to consider a membership to our site at go.liveonpurposecentral.com.

  • @iameboniestar7070
    @iameboniestar7070 4 роки тому +4

    How do you motivate a child that lacks self motivation?

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +2

      Ebonie Tolbert, it is the old stick and carrot method. Dangle something out there they want and they are usually motivated. Figuring out what that can be is trickier.

  • @RawanLancaster
    @RawanLancaster 9 місяців тому +1

    I am a nanny / sitter and the eight year old for 2 years have been telling me rude things like loser you are stupid etc and this is my third year with them they are 3 kids and yesterday I was offering gum and he kept yelling get out go away he threw the gum on the floor so I just left him because I was tired mentally of dealing with this attitude and the constant rejection when I have been for 2 years carrying his bag heating food tor him playing with him at times so can you please help me he is acting bratty and I really reached almost my limit his mother is good she corrects him but things keep going back to step one

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  9 місяців тому

      Sounds like he needs consequences and plenty of positive reinforcement when he does something right. Might be time to look for other work.

  • @andreawarburton7090
    @andreawarburton7090 3 роки тому +1

    My LG who's 4 is always messing about. Brushing teeth e.g she can't keep still or stands on the toilet seat or trying to flush the chain. Will take 1 hour to eat because she just wants to talk about nothing. I get shouting , bossy voice alot I'm so exhausted with it all.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому +1

      Andrea Warburton, you might try to initial "talk time" where she had free access to you and can say what she wants, but teeth brushing and eating are not "talk time". Let her earn the time by eating her dinner, or whatever before the timer goes off.

  • @dave916944
    @dave916944 4 роки тому +4

    How do you stop bad behavior at school when the parent is around?

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      David Sherrer, that is a difficult one. I assume the child is acting up when the parent is around and they are doing nothing. If it can't be ignored, I would talk to the parent at another time and come up with a game plan of what the two of you can do the next time the situation arises.

    • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
      @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 роки тому

      When you start using the strategies at home eventually you child will transfer it to school and outside of the home

  • @--LamMyLinh-A
    @--LamMyLinh-A 2 роки тому +1

    1.say yes as often as possible.tell them the consequences,tell them what to do instead.
    2.that about the behavior,not about the person

  • @maganhumphrey7967
    @maganhumphrey7967 4 роки тому +1

    Do you have handouts that I could use with my clients?

    • @maganhumphrey7967
      @maganhumphrey7967 4 роки тому +1

      your videos are so helpful but I would really like to see if you have handouts or worksheets as well.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      Magan Humphrey, no, I will consider it.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      I will look into this when I am able, I have a lot going on now with our new Live On Purpose Central learning website.

  • @sitraradliyah466
    @sitraradliyah466 3 роки тому +2

    Will it work for teens? Got any links?

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому +1

      Sitra Radliyah, some of this works with teens. There are specific things that can work with teens. Consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com or our parentingpower-up program.

    • @sitraradliyah466
      @sitraradliyah466 3 роки тому +1

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV ok thank you

  • @samanthapagan9690
    @samanthapagan9690 Рік тому +1

    Can someone tell me where to skip to the part

  • @laurenhicks6074
    @laurenhicks6074 2 роки тому +1

    I'm not positive in my own life. So this is a huge challenge for me. 😞

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому +1

      I wish you the best as you navigate this time.

  • @andykanjennifer3160
    @andykanjennifer3160 2 роки тому +1

    How do you deal with a tanager child that love play more than doing choice in the home

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Andykan Jennifer, figure out what you control and what you don't. Stay in the control lane and give your child a reason to want to do chores.

  • @Eileen-qe1vs
    @Eileen-qe1vs 2 роки тому +1

    However good points for younger kids, alot of teens will not cooperate, or say “are you gonna make me”.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Eileen, that is stage 1 behavior and that is when we get clear on what we control and use consequences.

  • @janedoe09
    @janedoe09 2 роки тому +1

    I did over dinner from tiny. all the way to today at 24. "what was your best and worst of the day" as a way to get my son who has autism to talk about his day....this helps to reduce his anxiety and I get to know what's happening in his world...ps. also promotes gratitude and something positive in this crazy world we are living in today.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      jane doe, these daily conversations with our children are so important. Glad you made this tradition and stuck with it.

  • @TitaniumTronic
    @TitaniumTronic 3 роки тому +6

    Nah bro my parents and grandparents decided that yelling profanity and beating me with a slipper, a belt or a mop is their way to discipline me lol

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  3 роки тому +3

      I am so sorry. No one should have to go through that.

  • @angiejones968
    @angiejones968 2 роки тому

    I find thanking my teen when he does a chore encourages him to do it more. First time I thanked him pretty sure it shocked him? I'm trying to respect him and not just expect him to do his chores, if he knows I appreciate him and him doing what needs to be done he does it without the teen grumbling lol. Parents shouldn't demand respect we should respect too.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому +1

      Angie Jones, you are brilliant! You have shared something powerful here.

    • @angiejones968
      @angiejones968 2 роки тому

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV just following your advice 🙂

  • @RawanLancaster
    @RawanLancaster 9 місяців тому +1

    I feel like I am being in a very negative environment although it should be positve because I love kids and used to be in souts and worked with kids too

  • @Chat-P
    @Chat-P Рік тому +1

    🙏❤️

  • @ginfksceosexpressionismsfl8412
    @ginfksceosexpressionismsfl8412 2 роки тому +1

    I am trying to learn to parent slowly with my partners seven year old this is the hardest thing I have ever done

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      It is very difficult. They are lucky to have you.

  • @chynar1630
    @chynar1630 Рік тому +1

    ❤❤❤

  • @tatianahawaii13
    @tatianahawaii13 2 роки тому +1

    ❤️

  • @gemacy4072
    @gemacy4072 Рік тому +1

    Can someone summarize this video for me please

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  Рік тому

      There is an option to read the transcript. I hope that helps.

  • @vinhNguyen-jy8db
    @vinhNguyen-jy8db Рік тому +1

    Please add subtitles 😟

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  Рік тому +1

      We do have subtitles. Make sure it is turned on.

    • @vinhNguyen-jy8db
      @vinhNguyen-jy8db Рік тому

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you. That's awesome. I will check it out.

  • @igrowugrow-anartofpositive9284
    @igrowugrow-anartofpositive9284 2 роки тому +1

    I see your video🎥 it's super

  • @SiscaRidwanCosmetics
    @SiscaRidwanCosmetics 2 роки тому +1

    I could do this most of the time except during first 2 days before my period. How do I handle this? I got frustrated with bad behavior from my 3yo, mostly towards his little sister 19mo (hitting her for simply grab his toys or getting on the way when he’s doing something), then i warned him calmly for 5 times but still no listening. Till I scream or I said no then send him to time out. I tried to apply western parenting (my husband is American) but i feel like it didn’t work. And I have no place to run to take a break as we didn’t live any of my country or hubby. We don’t have family around for years already, barely could make friends

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Practice some meditation or deep breathing and go to that when you want to explode. Think of something calm and try some positive affirmations.

  • @jocelynjara1980
    @jocelynjara1980 4 роки тому +3

    🙌❤❤

  • @TempleoftheSon
    @TempleoftheSon 2 роки тому +1

    Well that's great, but how do you correct a child that is being disrespectful or even threatening?

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      2, sometimes there needs to be a time out where everyone steps away for a bit so things can calm down. If threatening, that needs to be defused.

    • @TempleoftheSon
      @TempleoftheSon 2 роки тому

      @@LiveOnPurposeTV let me tell you what I'm talking about. My 8 yr old wanted to sit on the couch. My wife got up to let him sit on the couch, but he didn't want to sit where she was sitting, he wanted to sit where my 5 yr old was sitting. So he started fighting with his 5yr old brother. My wife told him he could sit where she was sitting or he could go sit somewhere else. He then started pounding his fists and making a throat cutting gesture with his finger. My dad very calmly tried explaining to him that was a very bad thing to do and he started doing it towards him and said "you're going to be that too". My wife asked him to leave the room and he refused. How do you handle that?

  • @robertdellamar5386
    @robertdellamar5386 4 роки тому +2

    This is so confusing. I've raised 2 kids so far. Raising a third now and starting with a forth. Talking to a child has never worked. Only ways I've ever gotten result are threats and punishment. Totally disagree.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому

      Robert Dellamar, thank you for watching and trying to understand. I have more videos on the Positive Parenting playlist - ua-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html. I hope you can find some clarification or ideas with one of my other videos.

    • @Peete71
      @Peete71 4 роки тому

      Yea this never works on my son either unfortunately. Some kids it does work though just not mine.

    • @vickyandersen8660
      @vickyandersen8660 4 роки тому

      Try it with the younger kids and keep punishing the older ones the way you do. Maybe tell the younger ones that if they don’t listen that they’ll get the same and praise them for their good. Maybe then the older ones will want to follow the younger ones to get praised 🤔

  • @nishasingh6034
    @nishasingh6034 3 роки тому +1

    U look like Chandler bing from FRIENDS

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      First time I have heard that one, thanks, nisha.

  • @kaytlynngoodrich6602
    @kaytlynngoodrich6602 2 роки тому +1

    How you deal with two kids with behavioral issues and discipline them ? Stop them for throw fits and say lies about being abused

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      KAtlynn goodrich, we don't control what others say, only our behavior. They need consequences and positive reinforcement when they are doing what you want.

  • @mariamistretta3860
    @mariamistretta3860 2 роки тому +1

    Postive behavior is being polite. Good managers, treat people with respect. Wait your turn.
    Bad behavior is unhealthy behavior patterns and being disrespectful bad mangers bad language is rude behavior unhealthy. crizized accusing blaming is not nice behavior at all it rude mean.
    The bad behavior. If parents or person say stop no don't Do do that their consequences to their actions behavior
    cause pushinment time out why because the child did something wrong or they not allow to go outside play because they did something wrong.

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Polite and calm. Two behaviors we need to model for our children.

  • @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382
    @parentingbeyondbehaviours6382 2 роки тому

    I like think not fight

  • @Hs-tu2sl
    @Hs-tu2sl 2 роки тому +1

    Redirection for some reason makes my kids think they have a choice 🤔

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      H s, I wonder why, we are redirecting to something positive.

  • @fefecrow
    @fefecrow 4 роки тому +3

    My no's mean nothing these days

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  4 роки тому +1

      Felicia Crowther, when this happens, we need to change our words from garbage to gold. There are a lot more videos on Positive Parenting playlist, but here's one that might be helpful to you: "How To Talk To Kids So They Listen" - ua-cam.com/video/Xptq0JCkZhc/v-deo.html.

  • @BWWW743
    @BWWW743 2 роки тому +1

    You know that a person is around you and you say I need some space

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Brelyn Washington, glad you are voicing your needs in a clear and concise way.

  • @itsjustmeflo8684
    @itsjustmeflo8684 7 місяців тому +1

    Y’all remember that story about Lot & his wife in the Bible!?! I’ll sum it up for those who haven’t….. Jesus sent 2 Angels to protect Lot, his wife, and daughters. Long story short when they were finally able to get out Jesus told Lot & his wife to not look back!!!! Lots wife ended up looking back turning into a pillar of salt 🧂. Here’s why….. Bc she lacked the faith of being delivered, and moved on to the next phase of their lives, and still yearned for the very place, things, people etc… that weren’t GOOD! Leading everyone straight to hell except for Lot, & his family at the time. The consequences of holding on to your past will show through in the way you’re currently living your life. That’s why God says we need to stop looking back at the old. For we are made new with each day that comes & goes!

  • @devaniecalhoun3947
    @devaniecalhoun3947 2 роки тому +1

    It seems I tried everything and my daughter walks all over me

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому

      Devanie Calhoun, consider a membership to go.liveonpurposecentral.com. We have live events where you can ask me questions, courses and other things happening.

  • @maryperrysmith5815
    @maryperrysmith5815 2 роки тому

    I say. ahahah it’s really a sound They just stop. It works great I go get them Give them something new to do

    • @LiveOnPurposeTV
      @LiveOnPurposeTV  2 роки тому +1

      Mary Perrysmith, thank you for commenting. This could help others.