4 TIPS to Heal Narcissistic Abuse
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- Опубліковано 14 січ 2024
- #narcissism #spirituality #narcissisticabuseawareness
4 TIPS to Heal Narcissistic Abuse
In this video I will explain the 4 steps you need to take DAILY to help you start your healing and continue in the right direction.
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Stop gas lighting yourself 🌟
Stop going to the person that abused you for comfort 🕊
False hope ( will they change ?) 🦋
Listen to HOW you feel 🧚🏽♂️
Holy sh@t. I’ve seen many therapist in my 40 years on earth. But the way you outlay things and explain it is AMAZING. Keep sharing your content. It’s that good 🙌🏻🫶🏻
@@bradleytik8885 thanks so much! Appreciate it
Loving this deep dive into the specifics of parental narcissistic abuse as opposed to most resources that tend to focus on just intimate partner relationships. Could you continue on with this?Maybe even a video exploring how to overcome a pattern of thinking that the abuse was your fault. It's incredibly helpful and validating to have you explain what you do in these videos Candace, thank you. 🙂
Yes! It’s huge. I have many classes and courses I teach from the ground up. I will start tying little bits of that info in my videos
I also was in this cycle for most of my life 😢
So much wasted time
My biggest regret is not becoming aware sooner so I could have done better with my children growing up
But I did try to do what was right with what I knew at the time
Moving forward and loving who I truly am ❤🎉
You did the best you could at the time!!! Now you n le better so you do different! Self forgiveness is mandatory
The prayer of a righteous being is effective, you can’t go against your prayer once it has fruited.
Their isn’t a can’t, rather they don’t know how or more importantly don’t want to!
Super! Thank you Candace - I’ll be watching this one over and over. Hugely helpful. Cheers! Shane 🇨🇦🐶
Hi shane! Thanks so much ❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
You are always right Candace, i don't have any doubt about it, but the problem is that i should interpret you in the right sense
Correct! Higher perspective 🙌🏻
OMG!! This is profound!! Thank you Candice, Oh My goodness! Bless YOU!!!
It is my pleasure!!!
You keep looking better in each video. That is nice to see. When you seem pressed or stressed you do a good job at it. Your not powerlifting,.... and you do these videos after a killer workout,....
Your videos are just the best! Truth bombs in every video 💣
Awwww thank you so much! I appreciate it ✨🦋
I've been in a relationship for 4 years now, in the beginning it was fine, it was perfect up until 1.5 years where he started withdrawing and it triggered me in ways I've never known before. Since then I think we've both understood a power imbalance was born. I used to cry to him, tell him the way he's acting has made me insecure that he can leave if he didn't want this anymore but he never left in fact he said it felt good to know that I was crying over him. The audacity he had to say that. I want to say that's when it all began and started going down hill, he's shown more and more narcisstic traits since 1.5 years into the relationship which I didn't think was possible. A year after that he cheated and when we broke up, I initiated it keeping in mind I didn't know he had cheated. But the second we broke up he reeled me back in, kept me there while he was i suppose entertaining some girl on the side for a few weeks. Few months later my grandma passed and he became distabt but 2 days after that was when I found out he had cheated and again what did he do, reel me back in. I feel so stuck in this cycle. Right now we are at that 4 year mark and I know I need to heal but my biggest fear is probably how quickly he'll replace me, how soon he will jump into another relationship, who will it be, will he treat them better. I overthink these millions of questions while I'm finding it hard to break this cycle. At the end of the day he has become my source of dopamine because I've let him. I feel so silly and feel the need to do something quickly but every time I do try to break it off it comes out in the messiest of ways and turns into a me issue my mental state. It's so scary being with someone like this, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone I'm doing all the praying I can do. I've started watching videos like this again while I'm only seeing him once a week to limit contact and create distance, it's killing me however. hopefully i have the strength to do break it off soon
I love your level of awareness. You are in the chemical bind I call it. You already know he will replace you right away because he already has. He will cheat on them too because this is who he is regardless of you! I may suggest joining one of my inner work groups. Either 1 or 2. Both are perfect for you. Now is the time for support and ending this cycle. I’m here if you have any questions. ❤️
@@CandacevanDell thank you so much, for now i'll continue to educate myself but when i feel ready i'll look for groups like those which you communicate with they sound amazing. can I ask how did you get to this level of spiritually where you've learned enough to be able to teach others?
Just let him lose you, it's his lose not yours. Your understanding of situation says you're close to move on. Our body and mind gets addicted in relationship so give yourself time. Remove things reminding you of him. Unfollow on SM etc. You are in position of building new, stronger self 💪. Trust and know you are capable of loving yourself more than he ever could.
thats very true! i had that during spiritual journey, where i had my awakening, and now im awakening again that if spirituality is tricky and full or narcisistics, and fanatics, its not a healthy place for me, bc i was talking to people that all is something, i got nuts, bc me wanting something could be the inner child, me not wanting something could be the resistant self, nothing was nothing, a dust would have a meaning haha so its exatcly that way, i feel its so hard to heal from narcisism but yet its our process, but i got gaslighting me so much, it was like i entered a house and no one let me go out, bc if i go out, i would see external examples, new inspirations, and i would be able to compare and see them as they are, bc they would always hide behind like "its not me, its the hidden truth, its not me, its the cards, the tarot cards dont lie, its not me, its the spiritual guides, its not me, its in your energy i'm not crazy", so its like i struggled so much to know what if they were right? how could i alone have a different opinion? and feel attacked and doomed by that? and now i see narcisism are everywhere, and sometimes even good people can be, its not only bad people, bc if one says something and neglects u with that, she is responsible as well, but u never feel the support anymore when things change sides, when its their way all is amazing, but when u think differente, u feel mentally attacked and gaslighted, like a mental proibithion of me seeing the reality as it is, and now i she they are just human narcisistic that empowers with labels, approach, and spirituality or anything is meant to be cozy, to offer water bc its the decent think to do, but not put challenges and rules on how to get that water, im learning that if one dont wanna give me that water, i have multiple other people who would give with a smile and it would make their day to support. so theres the differene with people and narcisism, u dont feel guilty, u feel embraced, and relaxed, loved the explanation of the nervous system, my body is always making random movments when im with them, now i see ii was never comfortable and cozy. thanks for the video
Thanks a lot Mme 🌾🌻🌾
✨✨
I think the only way they can change is if you first learn to truly love yourself unconditionally and no longer seek anything from them, then they no longer have to trigger you like that bc you've already mastered the lesson, so they are free of their obligations and can begin to heal themselves if they want to.
Also I wanted to mention I watched a video about toxic shame today bc I've struggled with shame and UA-cam kept suggesting the video to me, so obviously the universe wanted me to see it. But the behavior in the video 100% matched a friend of mine who has shown signs of narcissism towards me, so it got me wondering if that could be a common problem with narcissists. I mean if we are going to evolve as a species, at some point we do need to start helping the narcissists as well.
A narcissist is a narcissist regardless of you. If you change, they remain the same. If you stop being the scapegoat and wake up to your worth, they will find a new scapegoat or continue to try to beat you down. Releasing toxic shame is releasing your way of being the scapegoat. They go hand in hand
They can’t change only because you’ve left. They’re bad people to literally everyone. It doesn’t matter who walks away from their lives, they’ll never understand that they hurt people and they don’t want to heal
Narcissists have to want to change, you can't do anything to help them. Narcissists rely on others making them feel good so they don't have to face their issues. They need to learn to care for themselves and not expect others to solve their issues.
@@kobra4422 yeah, I said "if they want to" and with the help in the other paragraph I meant professional help, not a lover. everyone should have access to that. I guess my comment was kinda off topic and confusing.
Are you still in contact with your parents
CHONH3NHO (Pagan guy)+ NHOP2H3 (Bourgeois girl) and that's how it's composed ( A 1)...Are you black minor ( A 2)? Yeah i`m dermatopsychologist chemist and i own some psychedelic compasses(,A 1) you don't respect magic mushrooms (A 2) ? It's just not to going to pass at me so what if i say you're right(A1) but you're just not available to yourself ( A 2)?
Who do you go to when your own Dad hates you.
God
@@CandacevanDell I did do that. It started with Sunday School. He hated church. I respected my father but this was only because the Bible said to do that. God was a support, a placater.
Go to your inner child and hold them
@@Spitfireseven that makes a lot of sense. Are you talking about GOD or religion 😊 very different things
@@abdulc5726 love this!
I love your videos. Teach me alot! I have 1 question though..I had session with a coach but she said that you always have to keep in touch with your parents even though they were narcistic. So I had to force myself to do that even myself and my soul didnt want to. Is this the right way? Cuz when i did distance myself from my whole family cuz I was the scapegoat, It seems like everything was going well. As soon I had them in my life again it was like my energy level dropped. Do you have a video about this? Cuz when I am not in contact, i feel guilty, not even for myself but because of what the coach said. She herself was a narcissist btw@candacevandell
This is terrible advice! I have a video titled “the narcissistic family system” check that out! Listen to your body. Your nervous system won’t heal when you are close by them. Time away is key.
This coach guilttripped you. Nobody can tell you to stay in contact with abusers, family or not. With toxic people you need to keep boundaries and psychological emotional distance to not let them bring you down. Trust yourself! Scapegoating is complicated form of abuse and most people don't understand it.
@@CandacevanDell Thank you for your advice! The coach said she was/is a narcist herself so maybe thats why the advice I dont know. Thats why I was gaslighting myself everytime cuz I didnt want contact but felt guilty because of that advice😓😢
@@lovetobe30 I tried like 6 therapits the past 2 years, and all would come with random insensible advices, we gotta be careful and filter, i asked every one of them to guide me after drugs into a new moment, to develop me socially, bc i was easily influenced so thats why i would accept using anything, not people of people pleasing, but i never learned survival skills, so i was very silly at the end of the day even at 28 at the time, but NONE really understood me, one saying out of nowhere that me talking to my family that i miss them giving me some space as i was living with them again, she told that i was seeking attention as a child hurt that wants the parents to love them, and i was like??? that hit me for 2 years, i was always like am i doing that? is that hidden on my aura? is there something im not seeing? i just wanted an adult conversation, and that conversation never happened bc of that and i had to spend all time doing that in parts, like running to stay alone a bit, and my parents used to be narcisistic, but now i see they were just as lost as i was but they had to keep going, but many therapists gave me wrong advices seeming to have a source, or like fitting me in profiles from books and studies, so they never really listened to me, and its a small sentence that changed my years, and the others also gave random advices like we can only advance if we forgive people, or thank them for what they done to us, but like, why cant we dislike someone without putting emotional our accumulation in to it? i think many people put too much romance in all, like u cant hate one bc that means this or that, like the external is not a problem too, its okay to not want someone around, even family, take your time and space, and if your heart feel u should try again, then do it, but dont force bc then u will just obbey an external person, it needs to make sense to you at the end, there was a time i felt my parents were the villains, the one who took away my freedom, and i took months in my private space, i would love and care for them, but that sensation made me want isolation, but now i learned to accept them as they are, and i stay closer naturally, so if you dont fit on doing this now, dont force, in some years u will remember this and u will want to know u chose for yourself! so if now u can detach from the problem with them, and be there and try giving them a nice moment knowing years are passig, so open up for it, otherwise, dont hold the grudge, and live your journey too, otherwise u will always feel u live for the others first, and the advice needs to make sense too, or u will just follow the therapist that might just have adviced in a good intention, but our inside sometimes is not in the vibe. so only u can discern, and come up with that decision, bc our problem can blind us too, so maybe u could be talking to them and overcoming the reluctancy, but sometimes its not relucantancy and just a normal reaction that u dont aling right now, and that pause dont need to be eternal, u dont need to stay away for 30 years, u can go with the flow rn