Sailing is Hard on Relationships | Sailing to Sapodilla Lagoon Marina | The Reserve Belize | S03E12
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- Опубліковано 21 лис 2018
- While Sailing to Sapodilla Lagoon Marina at the Reserve Belize, Desiree has a panic attack! We have an argument while in a stressful situation that leads to Desiree's panic attack and afterwards we both express our perspective of what went wrong.
Once at the Marina Desiree takes advantage of the amenities and convenience of being ashore to get the boat back in shape after two weeks cruising outside of civilization. Toward the end of our stay we invite our new friends who manage the Marina out for a couple drinks where libatious shenanigans ensue.
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No more mutiny onboard Atticus! You guys will figure it out...been married 16 years, so yeah, we have weathered that storm before.
Sailing Project Atticus BTW You guys make an excellent pair. We have love them to death 😂🤙🏾🇵🇷
When one don't want to fight, two don't fight ...just try to imagine this ...if someone else yell to your wife...what would you feel? Ok ...now that you know what you will feel, remember why you would yell to her ...she is the love of your life, the woman that shares her life and dreams with you, always try to be the best for her...she really feel safe to your side, don't change that...God bless you two!!
If you didn't have those bad moments, you wouldn't know how blessed you are. Contrast make colors shine brighter in life.
What's the name of the microbial drops you're using? TIA
Real easy to just throw out there "Just don't be a dick." See a lot of comments that suggest that. But I gotta say, very impressed with your open and public accountability. How many couples would blog their relationship struggles. And a man acknowledge his issues on camera.... good on ya Jordan. Much respect for these two. You could easily edit out the bad, but you keep it real. One of the reasons I love this channel. You're figuring it out, and still love each other. It shows. Seriously one of the best sailing channels on the net.
No grudge holding, within a day it's all over and never happened, that did not happen in my sailing adventures and sadly brought them to an end.
Absolutely agree.. well said.
Everyone has issues but it shows great maturity that you can talk about it afterwards.
Amen
This is great... not for the argument but because you are putting out the reality of cruising life. Too many youtube channels glamorize the life and don't even gloss over the crazy crap that happens. Good on you for doing the right thing.
yes totally agree. This is an excellent real life warts and all YT channel. I get bored by all the usual glossy, over produced vlogs from affluent couples usually yanks with their hugh super luxurious cats.
No judgement but hopefully some helpful advice. As a widower, my greatest regrets in my life are the times I spoke harshly to my wife. I would do anything to go back in time to those moments when I was frustrated for whatever reason, just say "I love you" and remember that everything else is bullshit.
💔❤
Dotto
If I had hindsite I'd be looking at life in a shitty perspective always your heart should be in the right place on a boat theres no breaks from each other my cat even fusses at me sometimes
Ditto
As a widower I only wish I had never gotten married
OMG every time my wife and I watch a sailing channel we always say I can't believe none of these people ever fight or snap at each other, we can't sail for three hours without someone getting butthurt. Thank you so much for leaving this in, people need to see more of this and less sunsets and sundowners. People irritate each other sometimes but they still like each other. Thank you so much again.
Boating in general (and sailing in particular) can get very stressful very fast. That, I think, is part of the appeal. You have to actually pay attention to what you're doing and work as a team. Sometimes that works really well. Sometimes...less well. When it doesn't work, things can spiral sooo quickly. That's human, and it happens to everyone, professionals and amateurs alike. My uncle taught sailing and, as an instructor, he was unflappable. But once you got him on the race course, you could see his blood boil when someone made a mistake. Learning to keep your cool in these kinds of situations is not a task to be taken lightly.
@@DanielWilliams-oi4ss swords took care of stress back in the day...
Too true - this is a refreshing alternative YT sailing channel.
I don't think that most sailing channels would be improved by couples running to grab the cameras every time they get into an argument. Common sense.
Guys, my dad was a driving instructor in the new Zealand army. But lol.... It was our elderly neighbour who taugh mum to drive. I love you guys.... And what you are DOING. full respect.
Kudos for the honesty!
Suggestions for lessons:
Swap parteners with another couple for a lesson day (eliminate the personal investment)
Have Desiree spend sail time with a sailing woman for more sailing confidence
Fair winds!
I just how honest you guys are. Your honesty makes your channel my favorite..
I am new to the channel, I mean brand new first episode I'm watching is this one. I am a 50 year old been married for a bit with two girls. There is nothing harder than relationships nothing. You, two young beautiful people, have it even harder small area no place to run. What I can notice is that the camera for you is therapy letting it out is a good start. Noticing your own breakdown and how you can improve to help your partner is certainly key. You guys are wonderful. Keep living the dream because when you are old and grey sitting around you'll say WOW! we actually did all that.
Wow! I'm so impressed with your openness, understanding, and caring for each other. Relationships are difficult no matter where you are, but on a boat everything is multiplied by the possibilities of catastrophic results. My hat is off to you both.
Hi guys, two things: First quit trying to sail every damn where especially till Des gets her experience up to your expectations. That's what a motor is for. You have better control in risky waters. Two: purchase a good two-way radio, that way she can hear you when your on the bow and she at the helm. Clear communications is the key. Good honest video, thanks. Happy thanksgiving Y'all.
I've. Been sailing my whole life and I'd have never tried to sail off the anchor through there. That was just asking for problems and unnecessary risks.
@@southjerseysound7340 Thankz For Saying it Nicely So I don't have to Make a Statement MY WAY!!! Jordy Your a DOMERARSH got it!
Cleer Vie-EWE Best reply yet.
Boats only 28 feet long.
Cleer Vie-EWE she been sailing 5 yrs End of Story.
I know I'm just going to repeat a lot of what has already been said, but as someone who made a lot of the same mistakes and didn't correct them, I ended up selling the sailboat, only to get divorced down the road. I'm impressed you recognize some of the challenges early, but did want to add a few things that might help.
Not everyone is blessed with the same skills. That's why a team is mix of people who do certain things especially well. In environments where everyone is expected to know the other person's job, like on a sub, for sure, not everyone is good at doing those same tasks. So always look at yourself as a team that is even stronger because of the mix of skills. Also, bow to cockpit communications is a VERY common point of contention between people. If you don't want to use hand signals, get yourself wireless headsets. This will help IMMENSELY.
You are blessed to have a woman that wants to be with you and has been willing to share in the adventure. Many couples have one person expecting to sit in the sun and drink sun downers and when asked to chip in, they stop sailing. Or like in my case, I turned a woman away from the sport because of my impatience and unrealistic expectations. I personally took the fun out of sailing and before I recognized that I was the problem, I lost a partner who was already trying hard to fit into the sailing scene. This has been a life long regret. One I'm sure you will continue to work hard to avoid.
Good luck and I love your videos. They are always very relevant to the joys and challenges of real sailing. Keep up the great work!
Bob Hamilton Hey Bob, Jordan here. I really appreciate your comment and that you shared your story, I think your advice is spot on and I'm going to really put forward an effort to implement it. I guess what I mean to say is that although we were vulnerable releasing this episode so were you in making this comment, And I really appreciate it. Thanks.
What Bob said. I spent 25 years in a relationship neither of us were as patient with the other as we should have been. And while you think it doesn't do long term damage to the relationship, believe me, it does. Just because the moment is over, it's never really gone. That moment lasts forever.
In my current relationship, I have decided that I will never be impatient with her. Never. There are very few things in this life that have to happen with such urgency that I will speak to her in an unkind manner. If such a thing were to happen, she'll know that my apology is sincere, and my impatience was due to actual urgency, because it's not something I do with her. What I will no longer accept from myself is speaking to the person I love in an unkind manner simply because I have some arbitrary expectation I've set up in my own mind.
Work on it. It matters a lot.
Guys and gals it just work and you must forgive and forget but don't ever forget it goes both ways no matter how mad you are. Been with my wife 24 almost 25 years with a 3 year old now and only 45. We get it and never never forget why you fell in love to begin with. Life and relationships have natural ups and downs but believe me love truly will and does finds a way.
I didn't like him speaking to you that way but I'm glad he was able to recognize what he did wrong. I hope Bob Hamilton's life lesson is taken to heart.
You blame yourself too much me thinks.
More husband voice, less captain voice. It took me years of cruising and sailing to learn that simple lesson. Also, I had to remember that because I’ve been aailing since I was fourteen, it’s as easy as breathing to me. My wife, although having a lot of boating experience, had no sailing experience, and did not appreciate me not understanding that dynamic.
And, sometimes you just have to remember that as important as not losing the boat is, not losing each other is a lot more important. You guys will be fine. Everyone fights from time to time. Really enjoying your videos!
Thanks for the honesty, I live on a boat with two small kids and my wife in BC......a glorious life but has equally glorious challenges in a relationship! these utube videos with flawless relationships sailing off into the sunset! Haaaa!
My parents have been happily married for over 50 years, I asked my mom how they did that, she replied “it was not easy” even though they made it look like it was easy...I think if people say they never argue then there is something missing...its life, just need to try and keep respect.
!
I commend you two for being open about the realities of relationships while living in a confined space with such stressful demands placed on you. After all, you are human and we all do have occasional conflicts. Being able to work through them is indeed a gift of our species. Hang In There and Sail On!
When my lovely wife and I started sailing, we vowed to have a "no yelling" boat. Even when we were grounded on a shoal, at night, with a boat breaking up around us there was no yelling. My wife very calmly told we had to abandon ship. She was right. We did. Once safely on shore, then she had her panic attack. Love that woman.
and then ....calmly said no when you suggested another boat :)
@@wkw4095 It took a whole week to get her back on another boat.
Hi Sixbears, I think I have that topped. One night we were circling 3 miles outside a rock jetty lined inlet (Barnegat Inlet) for 6 hours during a mild 30 to 40 knot storm in our sailboat waiting for daylight.. Having been up for 24 hours and needing sleep, and tired of bouncing around I told me wife we are going in now (still dark) . I asked my wife to go below and get the portable handheld VHF just in case the engine stalls inside of the rock lined inlet and we have to jump into the dingy we were towing. Her very calm response was: OK I will also get a spare pack of cigarettes and lighter and put it all in a zip lock bag to take with us.
PS: we made it in just fine.
Tanda malaika? 😢
What an angel
Jordan I'm an old man living a wonderful life because I have my wonderful wife. I can only speak to you because, well i'm a man and as young men we tend to focus on material aspects of life. Think about this every time you get frustrated, "Worst Case" You wake up from a nap on a passage and Desiree is no where to be found on deck or below! That is the only event that you could not recover from, ever. She can ground the boat, sink the boat, burn the boat down and it is just a setback maybe a lot of work and I can tell hard work doesn't worry you . But guess who will be working on it with you "Desiree" and life will still be good. Think Worst Case when you get frustrated everything else is recoverable and just a story in your life.
Frederick Soileau thanks a lot Frederick, that's great advice and I will take it to heart.
Plus always remember and never forget: they will remember that time when you barked at her, thirty years later on a day when you least expect it.
At the best of times a couple have to go through a steep learning curve. I have a lot of respect for the both of you, the very fact that you guys can talk about it honestly, and realise how you effect your partner/crew member. You WILL make it! Thanks for sharing it with us, so we can learn from your experiences. Many people don't realise this part of skippering and crewing.
A boats is easy to replace, a good woman is hard to find.
You think thats so easy??? Its just not a matter of replacing a boat, its a question of thousand euros, or even the lifes in danger!!!
@@antoniocastro4371 I'll put a hole in a boat and let it sink , it's that easy . No emotional connection to a hole in the water I dump money in
Dark to Light Absolutely !
Exactly
👍👍
Guys thaaaaaaank you for posting this and being honest. Definitely something that happens especially when one person is more comfortable on a boat than the other. You're wonderful together and its wonderful to watch a channel that is so genuine and real
We're landlubbers, and the next best thing, would be our trips in North America with our diesel pusher motorhome, which is awesomely comfortable...yes, with showers whenever we wish! We tend to enjoy tripping with friends/companions, as conversation within a couple can become stale over time, so it's often nice to get different perspectives on an array of topics! Sitting around the campfire, listening to jokes, laughing and having a glass of wine is bliss. Now that we're older, my wife & I disagree far more than we did when we where younger, but we have to remain calm and respectful still, and it's coming up on our 40th anniversary soon. Life is short, so enjoy it to the fullest, and keep the communication going, just as you two have been doing, and you'll succeed and flourish. Stay safe, be free, love and laugh!
Anxiety attacks are the worst. If you have them, I wish I could take them away from everyone who has them and proof them away. If you don't have them they are so hard to understand and you cannot understand them unless you have one.
It has to be hard to be together 24-7. I think you do an awesome job, Desiree, and I can't imagine having a better partner than you. It is awesome that Jordan knows a lot about sailing. I admire your relationship. Smooth sailing! 💖🎶🎵
Also. Desiree, you have the most beautiful voice and are such a pleasure to listen to. I would feel it would be such a blessing to have you as a friend. Jordan, I named my son the same name, so you hold a special place in my heart. Anyone would feel blessed to meet up with you both during your sails. Happy trip and perfect winds, I can't wait until our next journey together. 💖🌹
this was the most honest episode of any channel I have ever watched. Thank you for showing us the side we dont normally see.
What a great episode. Only my second. I’ll have to break down and start at the beginning! I like your style. And your thoughtful way of handling your discussion about conflict. My husband had a wild temper, so when I finally sailed in St Thomas, with other people, I was shocked at how calm the captain was. Didn’t know you could have FUN while sailing! Only when you stopped, or it was good weather. Brilliant!
Thank you for being candid with your viewers. Nobody is perfect and keeping the panic in check is something that does take training. You've set a high bar for yourselves and you're doing wonderfully. I look forward to following your journey and catching up with your latest vlogs.
This is the most authentic and therapeutic video I've ever seen on a sailing channel. I think it helped you more than anybody else producing it tho! Jordan, dude, what can I say, I'm just like you. Remind yourself that goals are not what matters, what matters is the journey. What matters is how this lady is going to remember you when she thinks how she learnt to sail. People remembers how you made them feel and nothing else. Realistically what's the worst that can happen? bad jibe and you snap something? so what? she'll learn a lesson even in that case. The real key here is Jordan: you get nervous because you're also NOT an expert sailor or a teacher. It's okay, teach her what you know, and say you don't know when you don't know :) big love to you both! Also btw two ideas: 1) Let her go get lessons with someone else (you'll miss her) 2) rent a dinghy and practice in there - way way easier to grab concepts.
You guys are amazing! What an amazing relationship you both have together. To be able to work through your differences in such a great way and not let things blow out of control is inspirational. I learn way more than just sailing from your videos. Thanks.
U have to educate her Captain! If the Captain is demanding something from the crew and they don't know how to do it - the captain failed the education of the crew!
And here I WAS, trying to be Diplomatic about it....
Dave Christensen a human
Absolutely.
Another tip I gave as an instructor: Sailing is in no way ever a democratic or "equal" thing; there's a capt'n, and there's crew.
When the crew sinks in a panic attack the captain has to solve his shit alone, singlehanding - and the panicking crew has to fuckin' keep their mouth 100% shut until the anchor sits securely the next time.
THEN You can discuss and shout and find a way outta that mess, but not underway. Never. Underway.
You survive because one does not play games, chicken out or panic but keeps the boat under control.
Do not bother this one with Your shit, too, singlehanding is demanding enough even without a nagging significant other by Your side.
Have to say though, having cruised most of my adult life, the occasion for precise moves is quite rare. It's not racing. And how, after 5 years of near continuous sailing, is she struggling to steer a straight course, or properly jibe? I'm missing something here.
@@hd-xc2lz you didn't listen. The boat was transversing shallow waters with obstacles just below the surface which they were trying to navigate by eyeballing.
Most people who have relationship problems won’t admit their faults, won’t try to get better and most can’t find a solution. None of these things apply to both of you. You might not know it but you are 90% of the way to your solution already so just kept working on your solutions and this problem will go away before you know it. Don’t forget to go over all the good things about the other that you love and can’t live without. You are almost there so take heart.
Cheers from Okotoks, Alberta, Canada. Snow on the ground here and below freezing so I wish I was where you are. Fair winds.
Good video! Glad you both kept your emotional intelligence and recovered from the dramatic moment. I've only seen a few of your episodes, but they are good examples of the highs and lows of sailing life. You are an amazing team for many to emulate. Desiree I think you're awesome and you are stronger than you realize. Jordan I hope you said you were sorry to her. You're very lucky to have your wife by your side to sail around the world with you.
The episodes just keep getting better and better! Y'all are AWESOME! Sail more, you'll get better and the communication will improve.
Hi! Just discovered you guys. Love it. Love what you are doing. My adventure days are very much behind me, to bad as I’d love to do what you’re doing. Keep the videos coming, so I can keep dreaming!
So honest and so real. Knowing what’s really important and being open to talking about it is your strength. And truly nice to see footage of your new found friends and great times; just real people, being real people. Thanks guys!
Outstanding real honesty! Thanks for keeping it real! Sooooo much truth in what you both say. My wife n I learned to sail together alone on our first boat. Cascade 36. In the Pacific Northwest where it’s cold and blustery. We went through many many weeks of exactly what you both are describing here. In a certain way it is probably normal in a way to have this happen but only with your honest personal individual introspect will you move past it eventually. Each of us learns and becomes confident at a different rate. Desiree, your doing an outstanding job! Not many people can do what your doing! And your doing it very well! I am really proud of you both for undertaking this hard lifestyle together and wish the best for you! Jordan, just be nice dude! She is already capable of so much, and so much more together with your patient help. As always thanks for the honesty!
One word of encouragement I can say that we experienced was whenever we had guests on board for a sail we quickly learned just how far we both had come and how wonderful of a shipmate we had became over the years of individual strougle. We experienced an ability to work seamlessly together in any weather that truly impressed us. That lead to finally both being comfortable with each other when back together alone. Kind of a weird way to get over the hump for us. I bet you both are probably just about over it yourself. Just practice patience with each other and make it your responsibility to ensure your crewmate has a fulfilling experience above all else! Happy thanksgiving to you both! Sail on.
1976 I found and married my wife we faught like two junkyard dogs in the coastguard was called on us. Long story is we no longer fight we still sail and love it. So you two learn from all thouse who have commented, run some sailing exercises untill they are like second nature then do it at night in or near the moorage.
Love the honesty in you videos! You are both working hard to make this work, physically, and emotionally. I really appreciate you taking us along on your adventures.
Your wife is the sweetest thing that hit this Earth take care of her heart it's delicate and sweet and the most wonderful thing!
You guys are doing great! Keep talking it out and I appreciate that you are so open and show everything is real and not covered up or made up. So thanks and keep going!
You guys deserve an award to just survive together on a thirty foot boat, with no hot water or aircon. Disagreements are bound to happen but it’s great that you two work through it and find ways to adjust to each other’s needs and problems. That’s the secret to a good relationship. In the end, marriage is a piece of paper, but wanting to stay together despite disagreements is the way successful couples stay together. It’s all about understanding and communication, and love.
Wow - finally somebody telling how it is... relationships on boats. I appreciate you show that part as well as all the nice traveling and exploring. For me it was my biggest challenge while sailing and I so often met women on boats that were truly unhappy or really struggeling with their situation without knowing why. What helped me most was when my partner and I talked through a situation beforehand and talk about what will or could happen. That takes you a step ahead in reacting and makes it much easier to understand whats going on as it happens. And it makes you feel like a team, what is probably the most important. Thanks for the videos!
You guys are truly the richest people I know not money related but in the sense that you found out the true meaning of life and found happiness and freedom
Hi,
I'm an older Aussie guy, my wife .... an older Aussie treasure, doesn't find things easy at first either...especially on yachts!!!
Many things ....small or large can bite when least expected.
Safety is paramount, an example being... I like to sail away from anchor too, but, don't create an unnecessary potential incident if your crew isn't at ease doing what is needed.
Lecture over, I'm mightily impressed with your openness with us (your fans) and with one another. I'm also greatly enjoying your insights and feelings on your selected lifestyle.
You only get one lap at life and I think each of you has found the perfect partner to get the most out of your time. Keep loving each other, keep each other safe, hope to see you when you come to the beautiful South West corner of Australia (Busselton).
Please tie up at my jetty.
Very best wishes
David and Varley.
Having stressful moments on a sailboat is a common thing. Your relationship is precious, protect it, mutual respect is the key. Training helps minimizing these situations. Seek outside training opportunities and practice makes perfect. be safe, Cheers, Richard
Desiree, You certainly do a top notch job on keeping Atticus clean and shipshape. I never had a woman that cleaned like you did in the video, Jordan is so lucky to have you as a Partner, Sailing through life. I just had to throw that in, as nobody else mentioned it. Love, Y'all.
I was THINKING it, but I figured I'd been Sappy Enough for one vid, lol...
Thank you for sharing the real life perspective! Everyone has ups & downs, and i always believe what makes a strong relationship is being able to work through your 'down's together. You guys are doing a great job by recognizing it, and you are helping others by sharing. Thank you and all the best!
5 years... almost 6 years we’ve been living aboard working on the dream. When we started we argued when sailing... now we don’t even have to talk. We already know what the other is thinking. In short, as a sailing team we have become one. You guys will get there too! And it’s so rewarding! Love your channel... one of the most relatable authentic and entertaining I’ve seen. Maybe we’ll see you guys out there one day!
Amazing self-awareness guys. That goes a long way to healing wounds occurred during high-stress times. Do forgive, continue to love. Life is like the sea: always changing.
Great sharing, thank you , it’s amazing how many ‘Capt.Bligthe’ can come out during intense sailing.
The marina folks and the friendships you made was so special and it’s times like that that really cruising special. Cheers Warren
That could be my wife and I, right down to the panic attacks. In running the boat, Jordan's in kind of a tricky position because he has to be both the captain and her husband, and when it comes to keeping the boat and crew safe, being the captain absolutely has to take precedence. In a tight situation like that he's not wrong to expect the helmsman to do her job correctly; if he failed it was in putting her in that situation without adequate training. That's inevitably going to happen from time to time since stuff just happens on a boat, especially when you are going to someplace you have never been before. You just have to get through it intact and to some extent worry about feelings later, along with plugging the holes in training, equipment, and leadership that were exposed. Sounds like J&D have a pretty good handle on all of that.
In other words, this is not relationship troubles, this is relationship normal, especially as applied to safe navigation with only family for crew.
Yeah, it's sad to see some people trivializing the kind of dynamic that exists on a sailboat. I'm not sure it's necessary to assign blame. Sometimes situations get trickier than you anticipate, and a good learning opportunity turns into a sphincter tightening couple hours. I imagine there's more to the story than they've posted, but I do hope they come out better as a couple and as seafarers for the ordeal.
She's been doing this for 5 years... its not on him to make miracles...
Desiree, I couldn't agree more with you about the cause of the issue(s). The fact that you can articulate it so well, while being somewhat in the midst of it says a lot about you. Jordan, your insight into your own workings and how that affects Desiree is really cool to see in real time (sort of). Really, really impressed with both of you, as well as the fact that you've chosen to share with the public. That takes guts!
Thanks for your video and being real, I think it’s hard to be this open and honest with each other and every one on the net!
Had panic attaks, difficult to explain to your partner. Desiree, when taking the helm you will be sensitive and anxius, deep breaths and you will pull it off especialy in difficult situations, you CAN do it and you will feel better and proud of yourself. Joradan: patience my man lots and lots of PATIENCE. There is no such thing as a LITTLE panic attak. Once one is in panic mode we are essentially helpless. The more you encourage her and celebrate say a good jibe, the better it will get, it will go a long ways. You are living a dream, I wish you the best.
Patrick you've chosen my words and I can only agree and underline how much you're being right.
One thing really helps keeping moods down at sailing is PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.... in all kind of conditions. It will become routine, even in stressful situations. Capt. Desiree should get the helm as often as she can take it. Being both savvy with sailing at all condition, you're a safety device to each other.
Love your vid's, they're refreshing different. Keep going Atticus.
Love your guys enthusiasm and attitude, keeping it real, but working through the issues. THanks it IS motivating.
Here here to both , most would be scared to put what you guys just did, wonderful nothing worth while is easy , enjoy relax , you are both learning every day so your not dead ! Travel far guys an keep it together, can’t wait for more to come An one catching up with you in your travels .
Really great video. Showed the both sides and the stress that can come on a couple. Thanks for all your hard work.
Cheers from Canada
I really appreciate this video. Thanks for showing the more real side of things on a boat.
Thank you for your honesty ❤️❣️. It takes courage to face our imperfections.....and yes, relationships are challenging. You both have alot of responsibility, adventure, and risk living on a boat.
Honestly just the other day I was thinking..how perfect all sail youtube couples look..and I wonder if they have the same silly issued I had in my relationships ...Then I found your video. It's so great to get some honesty and an example of how life as a couple on a sailboat can also be.
Thanks for the reality!!! Been there done that... and survived! We are stronger for it!! Keep up the great videos!!! You guys are great together!!!
Thank you so much guys for sharing the tough times as well as the good ones. I live with anxiety as well, can be rough sometimes.
this is soooo refreshing. some other channels are too much like a travel advert with perfect everything. nice to see our normal lives mirrored sometimes. Wish i had the insight you both do during my two ex married periods. respect.
It’s refreshing to see the honesty, sailing can be stressful at times, no doubt about that!! It’s even nicer to see you two working it out !! Enjoy!!
No comments on how to handle your relationship guys - you do you. The honesty is super refreshing. Thank you.
Love living through your eyes, and the sound track is awesome as well. Your editing is amazing, and camera work seems very professional. I have jumped around to watch a lot of sailboat life videos to see what it is REALLY like, and WOW, you guys not only make it look fun, and honest, but do it very well. Cudos
I loved the honesty from this young lady expressing life is not always a bunch of roses never give up on learning like you said once it is set in the muscle of your memory everything will be ok loving you loads for not giving up on yourself wishing you all the best with a bigger boat
Great show guys.... Thanks for sharing the tougher side and hope you take good care of each other.
Thank you for your transparency and honesty. My husband and I just moved onto our 50 foot liveaboard. We aren't ready to set sail yet. We are still getting used to living together in a more confined space. My hubby knows how to sail...I still have to learn.
I give you both a lot of credit for talking about the “shitty” times , it’s not just all rainbows and flowers, and it never is regardless of where you are.
Y’all will figure it out, it takes time & experience as a couple and as sailors.
Just always communicate! After 3 kids and 20 years together, ya learn that and let the small stuff go! It’s just not worth it, especially bc it’s just the two of you most of the time ♥️
Great job
I enjoy your vlog endings....this one very cool. A summary of the "Sanctuary" was interesting and answered a few questions...however hurricane season was likely the primary reason for lack of cruising boats! Well done on your sailing course! Keep your chin up, every day is a learning experience.
There's so much to learn from each other when you take your time and think about what's happening around you. I've learned that. Expecally when I'm sailing the islands with a crew. Things can get heated. You just gotta sit back and think about what is going on and how to fix it. Keep up the good work guys!
Guys, you two are living together in a small space 24/7 it’s not like you could go down to the local bar to let of steam and return later with a bunch of flowers to apologise. On a yacht where each person trusts the other to do something and it’s not being done just right, words will be exchanged and may lead to a falling out. Time to think it over and cool down is the best solution on a boat. Just about every couple I know in my 61years has exchanged words with one another and have lived through it. I’ve been playing catch up with your videos and if there’s one thing clear it’s how much you two love one another. So enough of me rambling on, only to say the best part of a fall out is making out when tempers have cooled.
I just love what you guys are doing and I reminisce of my dear wife Isabel and I from when we married in 1979 till she passed away in 2015. Our adventures sailing the west coast of Scotland. Thanks guys for making an old man happy 😃 xx
Good for you guys for admitting the issues, working through them, and coming out better. Just bumped into this channel, and I think it's cool.
Awesome couple you make an effective team, team work as with a relationship requires work, understanding and love. You two show in spades to have copious amounts.
Very good episode. Being in a relationship can be hard anytime, but the added stress a boat can bring can push you to your limits. Mr. Bud will just have to learn that Mrs. Bud just may need more time and gentle coaching. Anyway, I love watching you guys and your great videos. thank you for sharing what is a very personal part of your life together. It can be a good lesson for the rest of us, myself included. Fair winds to you.
This is the my favorite episode of Sailing Project Atticus because of your honesty. You guys both poured your hearts out! Thanks for sharing your amazing adventures! Great job on the video production and choice of music sound tracks in all your videos.
Very real, very courageous. Smart to go with Sail Libre. I plump for Captain Desiree for a few weeks. Huge learning experience for both of you. I suspect Jordan has rarely voluntarily followed someone who knows less than he does. It is very hard. Secondarily, if D. chooses to lead as her confidence allows it will show more than words what that level truly is.
Honesty is admirable, refreshing really cool.. Great work👍
I watch a few of these sailing blogs and this was one of the best, I never thought how interesting it could be to watch you do laundry and scrub the decks but it brought the reality side of cruising in to perspective and the fighting and arguing was a reality bonus, glad you worked it all out!
Thanks
This video means a lot to me cause you guys putting the real deal of a normal couple experience.. I really like and appreciate the realness of this video.
I love your attitude girl! Inspirational! Great decision to gain experience in a different place then with your spouse. Keep doing great things
I love how everyone on here suddenly turns into a licensed therapist! Thanks for showing the good and the bad. Living on a boat together isn't easy for sure.
It takes courage to be as honest and open about 'life' together as you've been in this episode; my hat goes off to you both. This is a truly inspiring 'project' you are documenting and it's changed my plans somewhat.
A good episode. Interesting perspectives from each of you. Seems you have crossed a threshold together and that shall make you stronger in the long run. Hang in there. Cheers.
Captaining a sailboat is stressful and sometimes barking orders is the only way to get things done... but no one likes being barked at and made to feel incompetent especially from a partner. I'm sure your both doing your best, which will be awesome obviously... which is all you can do after all!
Although the Jordan was harsh with Deseray and things melted down for a bit there, it was really encouraging to hear Jordan explain what had happened and acknowledge where he was unreasonable and unnecessarily harsh. You know, we are all human and imperfect, we all make mistakes, but it is so encouraging that Jordan recognized where he made mistakes and how some miscalculation and external triggers can create a stressful situation. I really feel you can overcome a lot of the bumps in a relationship when both can be candid about there faults, acknowledge their mistakes, and having a little patience with each other. This allows for understanding, fellow feeling, and forgiveness between each other which is so important to a happy healthy relationship. Another essential is making sure you have many more good and meaningful times spent together than the bumps along that road. You are both sharing a wonderful adventure, a meaningful life and experience, and I see in your videos how wonderful you are to each other and having really good attitudes. Still, sailing is a serious en-devour that will stretch you at times, so it is important to structure regular training from a patient and safe space to strength capability and confidence. You both value and enjoy your adventure and each other. I really wish you both the best, you clearly cherish each other. I'm happy there was acknowledgement, understand, forgiveness, learning, and healing. God bless both of you and your beautiful relationship and wonderful adventure together.
I am cheering each time you say "I am a laundry champion!"
Love you two!
Thanks for the honest video. I am in the same position where I learned to sail from my partner and it doesn't always go so well. It was nice to see that other people are having similar experiences and are able to work through them.
Finally one of all sailing couples talking about difficulties in their day to day sailing relation. Good advice for all couples living on boats or not.
Good days, bad days it’s all backwash when it’s done. Life is to short to hate. You guys are young never give up on each other. You both said it before you as a team won’t fail. Love to both of you.
Thanks for being so honest and real. Knowing the problem is 80% of the solution. Trust me this is normal growing together, been married for 20 years and my wife and I still argue, part of life simply because people are different. If we weren’t life would be seriously boring. Just never go to bed angry.
Keep it fun and always place each other over results!
Hope you keep the adventure going. You’re very inspirational to us out here.
I'm live on land married 12 years and we go through the same types of arguments.. I love your videos... You guys are so down to earth and honest. 👍👏💞
ThAnks for being so candid about living in close quarters and all that goes with that. Relationships are hard enough on land so there has to be extra effort from Both parties when dealing with stressful situations.
Still the Best Sailing Couple, Openmindet, Honest and Deep Thinking. All the Best and much Love!
thank you for this video, 2 years later it was very helpful for me, thank you
I was introduced to sailing at a very young age and things just become naturally, some of my friends adapted easily and some did not! Sailing uniquely involves some geometry with wind and sail position that is not easily noticed. Plus patience as instructor to a spouse takes both people to accept instruction, not easy to do. I really like your videos and hope to watch many more! Thank you for sharing .
Girl, you are a worker! Lots to be thankful for each other!
Great update! Interesting personal insight as to what is going on between you two. I was thinking that I might have to head out there and have a talk with Jordan, but it looks like he has had a talk with himself and is working thing out with that nasty little inner child. Believe me, I've had the same talk with mine. We guys can be real assholes and we need to keep that stuff at bay. Good for you two!
The infinite beauty of your environment will magnify positive and negative emotional situations. Ad sailors know - go with the flow. Its all love after all.
Good episode. I’ve been married 28 years. Trying to teach each other skills one has mastered but the other is learning is always hard. Usually works best to get a lesson from someone else. You all learned that quicker than we did.