My son when he was 4 told me that he wants to be dad so badly. He's turning 6 in a couple of weeks, and he still says that he wants to be a dad because he wants to be like his dad.
I grew up in a place and time when the main focus was to get married and have a family. Everything else was an add-on in life and was arranged to benefit the family. Nowadays career is the main focus, with family as an add-on that can be shoved aside when it becomes inconvenient. Family members sense this and it weakens the familial bond. Divorce rates have skyrocketed. Kids learn that family is not very important because they have a different dad and siblings every year. Also when kids are dragged, dropped and dumped with babysitters, daycares, and schools from the day they're born, they understand that they are just in the way. They learn that everything else is more important than they are. They learn that a stable relationship is not important and thus it is passed on to one more generation. Rates of depression, mental illness, crime, and suicide started to rise about the same time that mothers started leaving the home, and kids and career became more important than family. Many "homes" nowadays are just a building where everyone comes to change clothes before they all head off in a different direction. What a sad shame!
I'm so glad that you reposted this! I was fully anticipating being able to sit down with my knitting, my London fog, and listen to this while my youngest took a nap and the other two were playing with their toys. I was very disappointed when it was no longer available, so I'm very grateful to see it back! Edit: shout out to us bonnet heads!!
Whew! I’m really excited about this topic! My 6 yo son already told me he wants a family when he grows up and I asked my 4 year old daughter what she wants to be when she grows up she said “ A mommy like you” I’m full time sahm wife and mom for the past couple years now so I need this message to prepare because I wasn’t raised by a married sahm. I’m learning as I go.
Me too!! Except my kiddos are a bit older than your current “ preschool” season. I’m a sahm wife since 1st kid( 2kids total) and my oldest is now a young Teen & my youngest is a tween. While our extended family ALWAyS. Pressured me with “ so when the kids become school aged ARE YoU going to go back into the work force??” Note: they weren’t actually Asking to LEArn bc of curiosity….They were instead ASKING to JUDGE!⚠️ They don’t hear from us much bc of THAT handling- their loss ⚠️ We are a homeschooling family /work from home hubby/ ministry volunteering SAHM along with the family & we stay BuSY but we are joyful, and a content INTACT family that understands WHAT heart cultivation truly is/means & WHAT cultivating “ community” actually is. We ( hubby & I ) both are 1st GENERATION SHIFTERS compared to the adults that raised us to be THIS deliberate / different w/our marriage, family raising, & parenting styles compared w/ previous generation(s) WHO THOUGHT they RAISED US. ⚠️
@@Mrs.WordSmith.GEN_8zeroWow! Thanks for sharing! Just reading your comment brought some encouragement to me. This is my second year homeschooling and asking God to sustain me through it all. I love what you said “ 1st generation shifters” I’m going to use that because I’m the only one in my family living this life. Quit my job after 15 years and after 3rd child who is 2 years old now. Wish I discovered Suzanne Venker at least 10 years ago before marriage and children lol
@@audreyestelle687 you are so very welcome ! I like to consider myself an “ ENCOURAGER for the Kingdom”…to others who may need Help in being validated & affirmed in their “ shifting” efforts. My own grief along w/my hubby’s is that b/w the 2 of us ~ we’ve journeyed some very isolating & lonely roads together bc we’ve consistently had relatives/extended family WHO inspite of what their words offered, their ACTIONS did not match what they spoke & they failed to truly SUPPORT us as a unified force together in our choices of HOW we decided to do OUR marriage, OUR family cultivation, & OUR parenting styles . The GRIEF/feeling of loss from ALL of that is so very REAL… but we’ve still managed to DISCOVER our support through the “ sense of community” we’ve been able to cultivate along the way of our journey/story. Keep DOING YOUR PASSION momma! Inspite of the disapproval You ** MIGHT** find yourself surrounded by . It’s Takes both: COURAGE ANd GrIT to SHOW UP & SHOW OFF by confrontation & Exposure of the negligence of the previous ( clueless/decieved = feminist generations of women. )
I bought your latest book, Suzanne. I’m reading it now and planning to pass it down to my daughter when the age comes. Lots of nugget of wisdom. I would have loved if someone taught me these things growing up. I’ll just be the mom (I’ll do my best) I needed as a kid to my own children now.
Raising a son to be marriage material. Hopefully we will have more kiddos. I want to become friends with people who have kids his age who can be potential marriage partners.
I desire our children to be brave, to want what me and my husband have and how much we want them, to understand the cost of dealing with few options and the potential cost of frightening, even traumatizing mistakes both me and my husband suffered before each other and say what we said, "I won't give up forever, if a Real opportunity shows up, I will try, I will be brave." Because the rewards are worth Everything we each suffered to find each other and have these beautiful kids. We need a non destructive and brave counterculture or humans will die out. A minority Can and Has made a difference many times in this world.
I love how they want their kids to be financially independent but then tell their kids to take on debt to go to school, buy a truck and buy a home they will never pay off.
Society tells everyone they need college but the majority do not . I ask my kids what are your goals and wants . What is the best path forward to that . I do not care if my kids go to college but I do want them to have financial independence but I do explain do my daughter this way differently .. women’s priorities change far often then men as they should ! Women life changes in cycles . We can’t always be going for a career goal and be the best parent .. I chose my kids over my career and I wouldn’t change that for anything . Women shouldn’t be shamed to be “ working mothers “ you cannot do both work and raise small kids .. one thing will fail and the majority of the time kids are left with sitters and daycares .. that’s failing your kids ! The lie is that we can have it all . We can’t ! We can have certain things at certain times .. this also includes having children .. women don’t have infinite years to have them and really neither do men ! An 80 year old man isn’t a great dad , he is just a donor .. when you reach the end of your life no one ever says I wish I worked harder ! The same thing goes for the ridiculous notion of recording every single detail of your life and calling yourself a trad wife !
@@wildcatblue13 thank you for this! ❤️. Your comment makes me think of the book of Ecclesiastes that talks about the futility of pleasure, work and power but gives advantages of companionship which talks about a man who is all alone, yet works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then ask himself, “Who am I working for?”
@@audreyestelle687 Ecclesiastes 5:10-12 He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity. When goods increase, they increase who eat them, and what advantage has their owner but to see them with his eyes? Sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep.
I was taught to never go to college unless the job I want requires it (so, have a career path in mind FIRST), never buy a car unless I can buy it in cash, never pay rent if a mortgage would be a similar amount, and never depend on a husband for my basic needs. All in all that advice is serving me very well
@@paf2587 yes, we’re in Lake View. Do you feel like you have a good community of likeminded families in the suburbs? We are debating moving our family out of the city for that reason.
@@Andrea-gk3sk lake view is cool, but I would def leave if I were growing my family/ didn’t live in a brownstone type home. I would say the families in the winettka/wilmette/ Skokie area are definitely about families. However some are “counter cultural” and most are “mainstream”. Happy to meet up if you’re interested we have some cute parks around here.
I love all the podcasts on your show. I wish we could see more of you and your guest. I feel for me, visuals work better. People need to also "see" people like this exist. I felt the intention is great of this podcast, unfortunately for me it didn't hit the mark. It sounded like another virtue signaling talk. This is just my opinion.
@@olumbafamilyfaith9396 She appears to, but that’s just what she shows in edited UA-cam videos. That’s just PR. They are billionaires playing pretend. There are plenty of other homesteaders on UA-cam who start from little to nothing and build it themselves, I find those ones far more interesting to watch and learn from… ones who can’t just throw money at it anytime a problem arises. No real homesteaders are traveling to compete in a beauty contest 2 weeks postpartum 🤣
The only problem with using “neo-con” to describe what she’s talking about is there is already a definition of “neo-con” and that is Dick Cheany style Hawk war policies. So she really should choose a different word, because being a “neo-con” is objectively not a good thing. Ie you’re grouping yourself with some weird bedfellows and opening yourself up to false equivalence with some really different ideas than the ones you are espousing.
Absolutely. They're selling an aesthetic, not an actual lifestyle. No one can actually live like that. Nobody can actually look like these tread wives on a daily basis. There is one drive in particular who wears dresses that cost hundreds if not thousands of dollars in every one of her videos. There's another whose father-in-law is actually the owner of a well-known airliner. There are still more who rely on nannies and babysitters to produce their content. Real tradwives don't look like that.
I would advise a modern patriarchal man against combining bank accounts. Too much responsibility for unaccountable wives. Traditionally, men have given their wife an allowance so that she doesn’t overspend
A traditional man has a very high likelihood of marrying a traditional woman, so keeping accounts separate is not necessary. I see what you are saying about financial infidelity, but a married couple has a higher likelihood of honesty and being informed when they join accounts. My husband and I actually joined our bank account shortly before getting married. For spending and making sure that we're on track for bills and stuff.
@@PostMillMan and what would you have him to do instead? Be addicted to pornography, materialism, cars, video gaming, chasing after money like a rabid animal? Or what do you have him devote his celibacy to furthering the kingdom of God? Being a missionary in reaching those that he wouldn't be able to if he had a wife?
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 wow, that's quite a left turn from just not combining bank accounts with your wife in order to maintain discipline. Why the extremes?
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 please recognize that Allah means The God in Arabic. Dios in Spanish. God in English. Islam follows pure monotheism and associates no other gods with Him. So if you worship the Creator of the Universe and all that exists including you and me, you worship Allah (in Arabic).
@@tazinyunis That is false. I worship the true God, and He does not share power or authority with any other. If what you are saying is true then why does the Quran go so contrary to Scripture that was breathed out by God through his elect? Your Quran simply recognizes Jesus as a good person, we know the truth that he is the Almighty, the Christ, it is only through him that any of us have opportunity for salvation.
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 I worship who Jesus (peace be upon him) fell on his face and worshipped. Muslims believe that Jesus was a prophet sent by God, which he himself claimed to be. He was in a line of prophets from Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Ishmael, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, and many more, with the final prophet being Muhammad, peace be upon them all. God doesn’t distinguish between them and neither should we. Many Jews accepted Jesus, and many rejected him. Many Christians accepted Muhammad, and many rejected him. Muslims believe prophet Jesus will return at the end of time, kill the anti-Christ (Dajjal) and will install justice in the land. We revere Jesus, but only worship God, and don’t mistake one for the other.
@@paulhardbottle9982 don’t ANTICIPATE for the next generation of yourself, THAT WHICH You CANT PREDICT ⚠️ Don’t PLUNDER w/ apathy & pessimism from the Fruit of your very own womb/loins, the next generation of “ you” …INSTEAD EQUIP the next generation ~ Don’t PLUNDER especially as a parent, FRoM Them!
We are doing the opposite. We are raising our son and two daughters to be marriage material. Our son will be raised to be a protector, provider, and priest. Our girls are being raised to be keepers at home, faithful, submissive, and to work towards the good of the family. When they are old enough I will be obtaining my midwifery license so that I can help My daughters and daughter-in-law deliver as many of my grandbabies as I can. You sound like a man without hope. People who have hope establish themselves, encourage their children to get married and have children of their own.
My son when he was 4 told me that he wants to be dad so badly. He's turning 6 in a couple of weeks, and he still says that he wants to be a dad because he wants to be like his dad.
That is sooo beautiful! It is a compliment to his dad!!! Keep it stong family. I am chearing for you!
He’s lucky, a great dad is a gift. I miss mine daily.
I grew up in a place and time when the main focus was to get married and have a family. Everything else was an add-on in life and was arranged to benefit the family. Nowadays career is the main focus, with family as an add-on that can be shoved aside when it becomes inconvenient. Family members sense this and it weakens the familial bond. Divorce rates have skyrocketed. Kids learn that family is not very important because they have a different dad and siblings every year. Also when kids are dragged, dropped and dumped with babysitters, daycares, and schools from the day they're born, they understand that they are just in the way. They learn that everything else is more important than they are. They learn that a stable relationship is not important and thus it is passed on to one more generation. Rates of depression, mental illness, crime, and suicide started to rise about the same time that mothers started leaving the home, and kids and career became more important than family. Many "homes" nowadays are just a building where everyone comes to change clothes before they all head off in a different direction. What a sad shame!
I'm so glad that you reposted this! I was fully anticipating being able to sit down with my knitting, my London fog, and listen to this while my youngest took a nap and the other two were playing with their toys. I was very disappointed when it was no longer available, so I'm very grateful to see it back!
Edit: shout out to us bonnet heads!!
Me too! I was halfway through and then it disappeared.
This was an excellent episode!
Whew! I’m really excited about this topic! My 6 yo son already told me he wants a family when he grows up and I asked my 4 year old daughter what she wants to be when she grows up she said “ A mommy like you” I’m full time sahm wife and mom for the past couple years now so I need this message to prepare because I wasn’t raised by a married sahm. I’m learning as I go.
Me too!! Except my kiddos are a bit older than your current “ preschool” season. I’m a sahm wife since 1st kid( 2kids total) and my oldest is now a young
Teen & my youngest is a tween.
While our extended family ALWAyS. Pressured me with “ so when the kids become school aged ARE YoU going to go back into the work force??” Note: they weren’t actually Asking to LEArn bc of curiosity….They were instead ASKING to JUDGE!⚠️
They don’t hear from us much bc of THAT handling- their loss ⚠️
We are a homeschooling family /work from home hubby/ ministry volunteering SAHM along with the family & we stay BuSY but we are joyful, and a content INTACT family that understands WHAT heart cultivation truly is/means & WHAT cultivating “ community” actually is.
We ( hubby & I ) both are 1st GENERATION SHIFTERS compared to the adults that raised us to be THIS deliberate / different w/our marriage, family raising, & parenting styles compared w/ previous generation(s) WHO THOUGHT they RAISED US. ⚠️
@@Mrs.WordSmith.GEN_8zeroWow! Thanks for sharing! Just reading your comment brought some encouragement to me. This is my second year homeschooling and asking God to sustain me through it all. I love what you said “ 1st generation shifters” I’m going to use that because I’m the only one in my family living this life. Quit my job after 15 years and after 3rd child who is 2 years old now. Wish I discovered Suzanne Venker at least 10 years ago before marriage and children lol
Sounds like your teaching the message about family pretty well if both kiddos want it , even if they are younger !
@@wildcatblue13 thank you! 😊
@@audreyestelle687 you are so very welcome ! I like to consider myself an “ ENCOURAGER for the Kingdom”…to others who may need Help in being validated & affirmed in their “ shifting” efforts. My own grief along w/my hubby’s is that b/w the 2 of us ~ we’ve journeyed some very isolating & lonely roads together bc we’ve consistently had relatives/extended family WHO inspite of what their words offered, their ACTIONS did not match what they spoke & they failed to truly SUPPORT us as a unified force together in our choices of HOW we decided to do OUR marriage, OUR family cultivation, & OUR parenting styles . The GRIEF/feeling of loss from ALL of that is so very REAL… but we’ve still managed to DISCOVER our support through the “ sense of community” we’ve been able to cultivate along the way of our journey/story. Keep DOING YOUR PASSION momma! Inspite of the disapproval You ** MIGHT** find yourself surrounded by . It’s Takes both: COURAGE ANd GrIT to SHOW UP & SHOW OFF by confrontation & Exposure of the negligence of the previous ( clueless/decieved = feminist generations of women. )
I bought your latest book, Suzanne. I’m reading it now and planning to pass it down to my daughter when the age comes. Lots of nugget of wisdom. I would have loved if someone taught me these things growing up. I’ll just be the mom (I’ll do my best) I needed as a kid to my own children now.
Why are you stopping the podcast?!? It’s so good!
"countercultural parents" I love it!
Raising a son to be marriage material. Hopefully we will have more kiddos.
I want to become friends with people who have kids his age who can be potential marriage partners.
Thank you, Mrs. Venker! I never knew her but I think you’re doing your Aunt proud!
I have been waiting for you. 😀
This was so helpful and encouraging!
but some of the audio looped between 30 and 40 minutes.... weird
I really really enjoyed this podcast! It was so APPLICABLE with lots of practical advice. :D Thank you!
Awesome conversation.
BTW SV was mentioned on Patrick Bet David on Alpha Females!!
Was there an announcement about the podcast ending?
I desire our children to be brave, to want what me and my husband have and how much we want them, to understand the cost of dealing with few options and the potential cost of frightening, even traumatizing mistakes both me and my husband suffered before each other and say what we said, "I won't give up forever, if a Real opportunity shows up, I will try, I will be brave." Because the rewards are worth Everything we each suffered to find each other and have these beautiful kids. We need a non destructive and brave counterculture or humans will die out. A minority Can and Has made a difference many times in this world.
I love how they want their kids to be financially independent but then tell their kids to take on debt to go to school, buy a truck and buy a home they will never pay off.
Society tells everyone they need college but the majority do not . I ask my kids what are your goals and wants . What is the best path forward to that . I do not care if my kids go to college but I do want them to have financial independence but I do explain do my daughter this way differently .. women’s priorities change far often then men as they should ! Women life changes in cycles . We can’t always be going for a career goal and be the best parent .. I chose my kids over my career and I wouldn’t change that for anything . Women shouldn’t be shamed to be “ working mothers “ you cannot do both work and raise small kids .. one thing will fail and the majority of the time kids are left with sitters and daycares .. that’s failing your kids ! The lie is that we can have it all . We can’t ! We can have certain things at certain times .. this also includes having children .. women don’t have infinite years to have them and really neither do men ! An 80 year old man isn’t a great dad , he is just a donor .. when you reach the end of your life no one ever says I wish I worked harder ! The same thing goes for the ridiculous notion of recording every single detail of your life and calling yourself a trad wife !
@@wildcatblue13 thank you for this! ❤️. Your comment makes me think of the book of Ecclesiastes that talks about the futility of pleasure, work and power but gives advantages of companionship which talks about a man who is all alone, yet works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then ask himself, “Who am I working for?”
@@audreyestelle687 Ecclesiastes 5:10-12 He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity. When goods increase, they increase who eat them, and what advantage has their owner but to see them with his eyes? Sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep.
I was taught to never go to college unless the job I want requires it (so, have a career path in mind FIRST), never buy a car unless I can buy it in cash, never pay rent if a mortgage would be a similar amount, and never depend on a husband for my basic needs. All in all that advice is serving me very well
Wait you ended the podcast?
I was wondering the same thing 🥺
Any “countercultural parents” here in the Chicago area? Having the hardest time finding like minded parents out here.
In the north suburbs; are you and your family in the city-proper?
@@paf2587 yes, we’re in Lake View. Do you feel like you have a good community of likeminded families in the suburbs? We are debating moving our family out of the city for that reason.
@@Andrea-gk3sk lake view is cool, but I would def leave if I were growing my family/ didn’t live in a brownstone type home. I would say the families in the winettka/wilmette/ Skokie area are definitely about families. However some are “counter cultural” and most are “mainstream”. Happy to meet up if you’re interested we have some cute parks around here.
I love all the podcasts on your show. I wish we could see more of you and your guest. I feel for me, visuals work better. People need to also "see" people like this exist. I felt the intention is great of this podcast, unfortunately for me it didn't hit the mark. It sounded like another virtue signaling talk. This is just my opinion.
Ballerina farm works harder than any feminist or tradwife.
Not really comparable when you’re talking about a woman in a billionaire family 🤷♀️
That’s what she wants you to believe .. Money does make life easier .. you think she doesn’t get a date night or a helper for her kids .. 😮
It helps that her father-in-law is absolutely loaded. David Neeleman, the founder of several airlines, including JetBlue, Azul, and Breeze Airways.
money and all - she still works her butt off!
@@olumbafamilyfaith9396 She appears to, but that’s just what she shows in edited UA-cam videos. That’s just PR. They are billionaires playing pretend. There are plenty of other homesteaders on UA-cam who start from little to nothing and build it themselves, I find those ones far more interesting to watch and learn from… ones who can’t just throw money at it anytime a problem arises. No real homesteaders are traveling to compete in a beauty contest 2 weeks postpartum 🤣
The only problem with using “neo-con” to describe what she’s talking about is there is already a definition of “neo-con” and that is Dick Cheany style Hawk war policies. So she really should choose a different word, because being a “neo-con” is objectively not a good thing. Ie you’re grouping yourself with some weird bedfellows and opening yourself up to false equivalence with some really different ideas than the ones you are espousing.
yeah, many of the internet trad wifes are simply grifting 😂
Absolutely. They're selling an aesthetic, not an actual lifestyle. No one can actually live like that. Nobody can actually look like these tread wives on a daily basis. There is one drive in particular who wears dresses that cost hundreds if not thousands of dollars in every one of her videos. There's another whose father-in-law is actually the owner of a well-known airliner. There are still more who rely on nannies and babysitters to produce their content. Real tradwives don't look like that.
Your freezer should be full of real food !
I would advise a modern patriarchal man against combining bank accounts. Too much responsibility for unaccountable wives. Traditionally, men have given their wife an allowance so that she doesn’t overspend
A traditional man has a very high likelihood of marrying a traditional woman, so keeping accounts separate is not necessary. I see what you are saying about financial infidelity, but a married couple has a higher likelihood of honesty and being informed when they join accounts. My husband and I actually joined our bank account shortly before getting married. For spending and making sure that we're on track for bills and stuff.
same here, we have joint accounts and i’m way more frugal than my husband.
The exception doesn’t prove the rule
@@PostMillMan and what would you have him to do instead? Be addicted to pornography, materialism, cars, video gaming, chasing after money like a rabid animal? Or what do you have him devote his celibacy to furthering the kingdom of God? Being a missionary in reaching those that he wouldn't be able to if he had a wife?
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 wow, that's quite a left turn from just not combining bank accounts with your wife in order to maintain discipline. Why the extremes?
Don’t forget Islamic when you say Judeo-Christian, the last of the Abrahamic faiths.
islam is evil
Islam is not an Abrahamic faith. Islam rejects Jehovah and instead serves Allah, which goes against the first commandment.
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 please recognize that Allah means The God in Arabic. Dios in Spanish. God in English. Islam follows pure monotheism and associates no other gods with Him. So if you worship the Creator of the Universe and all that exists including you and me, you worship Allah (in Arabic).
@@tazinyunis That is false. I worship the true God, and He does not share power or authority with any other. If what you are saying is true then why does the Quran go so contrary to Scripture that was breathed out by God through his elect? Your Quran simply recognizes Jesus as a good person, we know the truth that he is the Almighty, the Christ, it is only through him that any of us have opportunity for salvation.
@@skeinofadifferentcolor2090 I worship who Jesus (peace be upon him) fell on his face and worshipped. Muslims believe that Jesus was a prophet sent by God, which he himself claimed to be. He was in a line of prophets from Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Ishmael, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, and many more, with the final prophet being Muhammad, peace be upon them all. God doesn’t distinguish between them and neither should we. Many Jews accepted Jesus, and many rejected him. Many Christians accepted Muhammad, and many rejected him. Muslims believe prophet Jesus will return at the end of time, kill the anti-Christ (Dajjal) and will install justice in the land. We revere Jesus, but only worship God, and don’t mistake one for the other.
Will be raising my son to never get married, no decent women left.
wives are always rare
@@paulhardbottle9982 don’t ANTICIPATE for the next generation of yourself, THAT WHICH You CANT PREDICT ⚠️ Don’t PLUNDER w/ apathy & pessimism from the Fruit of your very own womb/loins, the next generation of “ you” …INSTEAD EQUIP the next generation ~ Don’t PLUNDER especially as a parent, FRoM Them!
@@Kōgan_Dekai please define insignificant…& WHO among yourself gets to decide WHAT “ words” are Insignificant?????
Well just know that there are also intentional parents out there teaching their daughters to be good wife and mother. Don’t lose hope for you son!!
We are doing the opposite. We are raising our son and two daughters to be marriage material. Our son will be raised to be a protector, provider, and priest. Our girls are being raised to be keepers at home, faithful, submissive, and to work towards the good of the family. When they are old enough I will be obtaining my midwifery license so that I can help My daughters and daughter-in-law deliver as many of my grandbabies as I can. You sound like a man without hope. People who have hope establish themselves, encourage their children to get married and have children of their own.