I found out after our wedding that a groomsman forgot to order his tux until the day before the wedding. Thankfully, Generation Tux was able to overnight it and it arrived in time. So I can confirm that their customer service is great. 😅
We went through Generation Tux… we still had a groomsman that dragged his feet. Lol. Husband and groomsman were playing video games online and I was like oh perfect you guys are both on the computer. ORDER YOUR TUX. So my husband walked his buddy through the process and groomsman said I quote “oh… that was easy.” 🤦🏻♀️
Whew. I knew a lot of the guys in our bridal party tend to do things last minute so we just told everyone to wear whatever slim fit black suit, black shoes, and white shirt they want / have (and to send a pic to us for approval). You really couldn't tell they were all wearing different brands.
I had one wedding party member who had over a year to get their wedding outfit, and a week out still hadn't done it. I basically said "if you don't have it by the time the processional music plays, you can sit and watch." At some point, had to sit back and let it play out how it was going to.
I oddly am having the opposite problem right now. I am a bridesmaid in an October wedding and getting all the ladies and the bride on the same page for a dress has been a nightmare. The groomsmen on the other had had their suits decided on months ago because the process was so easy! Generation Tux for the win!
You’re the reason I’ve been able to plan my wedding with only a day of coordinator. I haven’t started working with her, and we are almost done with all the planing. Thanks for keeping me saner and giving me great advise 💕
I’m fighting with a SIL and MIL that got basically Walmart dresses that are mostly white. I don’t really care that much about attire rules, but c’mon y’all… It’s like they’re trying to poke a bridezilla out of me on purpose and it’s nuts
@ they did not, and they are now acting even worse, after the wedding because my MIL “didn’t get an opinion at all in planning the wedding” It’s okay, we still had a great time and it was beautiful
I'm SO glad that I had no bridal party. It's not common here (some people do it, but most don't) and I don't see the point anyway - you can do everything that you do with a bridal party without calling them like that and without having them in special clothes. And it saves SOOOO much trouble. I did not have to pick wedding colours or outfits and everyone was responsible for their own attire. My wedding was very relaxed and I have beautiful photos with my friends, everyone wearing what they want 😄
One of our groomsmen was dragging his feet on getting his tux ... and then just RSVP'd "no" about a month before without calling the groom first to talk to him man to man and admit he wasn't going to make it. We were really hurt by that.
A groomsman did something similar in my first marriage. Days before the wedding, he suddenly said he couldn’t make it. Needless to say, my ex-husband stopped talking to him after that.
I think the brother was very rude by not showing any desire to appease his brother and new sister in law. If you're going to be in a wedding party, it's usually because the couple sees that member as reliable and helpful and this brother is neither, and obviously can't respect their simple requests of him. Better off having him not be in the party.
Our groomsmen did something similar. I don’t know if it was Gen Tux but they were wonderful. My son had to return his but they got the replacement one right away. But I was so busy with other things I never even knew. I placed that responsibility on the groom.
We used generation tux for our wedding and it worked out so well! Some of the suits were too long and gen tux reimbursed hemming. One tux was too small and Gen tux expedited a new one. If I ever get married again (hopefully not lol), I would totally use them again!
This makes me glad I'll have a small bridal party. My two sisters will be my bridesmaids; originally one of our cousins would also be one but she and her husband moved out of state and it would be too stressful for her. My husband-to-be will have his cousin and possibly his younger brother as his groomsmen. We're not sure if his brother will be able to stand still in a suit for the whole ceremony lol. My sister got married a few years ago and was on a tiny budget which meant almost everything was DIY. This will work to my advantage because I already know what to expect when doing things without a planner, and it also showed me some of the things to plan for that I wouldn't have thought about otherwise.
It’s been nothing but stress dealing with two bridesmaids who happen to be cousins of the bride and they themselves are sisters. I’ve included their mother (my sister and aunt to the bride) in this conversation and let all of them know seamstresses book out 3-9 months. Here we are four months away from my daughter’s wedding and no alterations have been scheduled let alone accomplished.
That does not sound right at all 3-9 months to get a bridesmaid dress altered. Just stop into a local tailor and they can usually do it in 1-2 weeks. It's a bridesmaid dress not the bride it's not like they need expensive tailoring from the bridal shop. I'm a bride and got my wedding dress hemmed and bustled at the local tailor and it took 1 month and she did great!
First story: make a day of it, get them all on the same day, offer a good lunch with beer/cocktails and food at a pub setting afterwards, kind of along the lines of getting people to help you move. Offer incentive. "If you build it, they will come" (Field of Dreams) It's guys. Come on. Beer plus pizza equals cooperation.
In the UK we also do not pay for the wedding party's attire, unless it's a super affluent family. In the modern day it is now very common to allow the wedding party choose their own within a colour scheme or style, which seems fair when they're the ones paying themselves.
I don't think this is the case across the board. Myself and my circle are definitely not "afluent" by any means, but I have been involved in 6 weddings in the last 2 1/2 years and at all the bride and groom paid for the dresses and suits.🤷♀️
I kicked my now husband’s sister out of our wedding party for telling him behind my back that I’ll never be considered part of the family to her, that I should not be invited to family dinners anymore and that, despite my best efforts to have a positive relationship with her that she will never like me and he needs to stop forcing me on their family 🌟
UK bride to be here! I've been in like 6 weddings in the last 2 1/2 years and every time the bride and groom paid for the dresses and hair/makeup. Shoes have been a 50/50 split of being bought for or by the bridesmaids.
I've been a bridesmaid twice and both times the bride paid for the dress. I am aware that not every bride does it - both times for me, the bride went out of her way to assure the bridesmaids she was paying because it's not always assumed - but it's common. I simply wouldn't have been able to be a bridesmaid on at least one (probably both) of those occasions if they hadn't paid, and I think a lot of brides are aware that paying large amounts of money for dresses we probably won't wear again to fulfill their "vision" isn't going to be something everyone can do (or that everyone's ok with), so they consider it a wedding expense that it's only fair for them to take on. Different circles of friends do things differently though, so perspectives on what's "fair" vary.
Hahahahaha I'm getting married in six weeks and my bridal party (except the maid of honor) don't have their dresses. I even made it easy for them -- we have a color and I said tea length or longer, get it wherever is easy in a style you feel beautiful in. My finace and I are taking a pretty relaxed approach to wedding planning, so we won't worry...much. As long as we both show up to the church on the appointed day, we get to get married. That's the theory anyway lol, lots of small things have gone wrong and that is just the nature of weddings I think
I disagree with the idea that if she’d done it she’d have been a random woman coming in and causing a familial rift. Firstly because she should - theoretically - at least already know the family a little. Secondly because the rift is already there. This tux thing seems to be a symptom of a larger issue, the younger brother’s blatant disrespect of others (or at least the groom). Based on the update the younger brother was getting frequent reminders about the Tux issue and couldn’t even be bothered to text back about it to say if there was an issue. Then when it’s on a call the younger brother just blew off the whole thing. There is no way this woman’s fiancé isn’t hurt by all of this. It may not cause them to stop talking altogether, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they decrease contact. I also wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t the first time the younger brother has done stuff like this.
Im a liytle comfused on the gen tux measurements part. Will the video explain how they can get no measurments but get it right? What if it still needs hemmed at the arms or waist?
Would it be worth getting the master plan 5 months before my wedding? I’m currently working just under full time and trying to finish up graduate school (6 credit hours and finish up my thesis). My fiancé and I have the venue, our officiant, my dress, and the photographer sorted. I just can’t spare the bandwidth to really plan too much of anything else right now.
I agree that the worst part of planning events is having to babysit adults. My brothers are the worst when it comes to organising anything. Therefore, I’m the one always trying to organise family events like our mum’s birthday. I ask them to do simple tasks and for some reason they are just incapable of doing them. I don’t know if it’s weaponised incompetence or if they are just that lazy.
I'll never understand why bridesmaids are expected to buy their own dresses. Theyre usually ugly, the bride typically picks them, and theyre usually expensive. I believe the couple should always pay for the wedding parties outfits or at least cover half the costs. The one exception is if the dresses are being picked out by the bridesmaids. I told mine the only rules i have are they must be dark blue and floor length, other than that i just want them comfortable. Im still planning to provide at least $25 to each of them for their dresses. We're also assuming clothes (aside from my dress) will be our second biggest cost behind food (we got a free venue thru family)
Yes. The bro needed to deal with the bro. Then, if the deadline passes, c’est la vie. Respectfully, what is AITA? Are you Reddit sponsored? Just curious, thanks.☺️
OMG, first, can I just say, girlfriend who made the comment about speaking to his handler, you are SO RIGHT. So many boys think it's someone else's job to do Things. Anyway, as to the question at hand, I would submit the following thoughts: You BIL clearly doesn't want to do this. We don't know why--it could be a control issue, a lazy issue, a just-don't-care issue, or whatever. Doesn't matter. Don't waste your time or go through all the brain damage of hand-holding a grown man to do a simple task; you are not his mommy, and you have better things to do. If he gets his tux, great. If he doesn't get his tux--or if he gets one but it fits badly or doesn't match or he has to scramble at the last minute or whatever--then that is on him. If he chooses to potentially look like an idiot in front of everyone, then let him fall on his metaphorical face! Yes, you will have to let go and get OK with him potentially not matching the other groomsmen and potentially ruining your wedding pictures, but it won't be the end of the world. And you are going to be part of this family for the rest of your life; is an ill-fitting suit--or an outfit you don't approve of--really a good enough reason to create a rift with your brand new family? Also, it's possible that he really isn't comfortable being in the wedding party for some reason and he just doesn't want to tell you. If so, then allow him to bow out gracefully and don't browbeat him about it. If conveniently "forgetting" to order his suit in time is his way of getting himself thrown out, then just go with it. You don't want him being part of your big day anyway if he's going to hate doing it, right?
In my opinion, the brothers don't respect the fiancé (now husband), and they probably secretly didn't respect the marriage or didn't think it would last. Fiancé putting his foot down is the best-case scenario. She is NTA simply because she didn't have to act on her threat. Any action she truly took could make her TA. Shout out to her man. I hope their marriage lasts!!!!
I love that your fiance backed you up!!! I would have reacted the same! If i give you that much time to get so simple done and you refuse and try to change the conversation I would kick them out to. When you agree to be in a wedding party you accept the responsibilities, if you cant do the simplest things your out. Expecally since they were paying for the tuxs. And Id do the same to my own family and friends. I have already decided that I will make a deadline to have your full outfit and you must send me and the groom a photo of you in it as proof. If you do not meet this deadline you are out.
So I had a similar issue....BUT WITH MY BRIDAL PARTY. It was way in advance, and while I didn't specify wanting to check it off my list asap, after the second reminder, you would think it would finally get across, but no. I'm the overly considerate bride type. I want everyone to feel beautiful, comfortable, and overall happy at the wedding. So I said, "Here is the link to Azazie, please pick 3 dresses you like and send the links to me so I can say yay or nay on them or so I could somehow pick dresses that had same elements so they looked somewhat cohesive even if they are different dresses in the same color. It took 3 months to do what would take AT MOST an hour to go through them and choose. After the third month, I got fed up. I only had 3 of the 7 people in my bridal party do what I asked of them. Having them do everything online was respecting their time and work schedules. I acknowledged that we all are adults and have a hard time getting all of us together at the same time because life can get in the way. After 3-4 months, I took one of the few gatherings we were all together, sat them down, and hooked up my laptop to the tv. We FINALLY got decisions made and ended up with the same dress for everyone. I still feel salty and hurt by that situation, but they also didn't interact with the google drive that I set up and shared with everyone. Couple that with being told our once a month gatherings were turning into wedding talk and was asked to stop. At that point, I gave up trying to include them. I was basically doing everything by myself. They knew it was going to be budget friendly, which means I needed all hands on deck to help, and I basically had no one and my poor fiancé hasn't got a clue and I often need to explain in detail only to be told he doesnt care about those aspects. I have asked next to nothing from my bridal party ever since the dress debacle. Some money hiccups occurred where we thought we would have to postpone, and in my depression I did not continue with the planning, so now I'm a little over a month out still throwing things together. I have finally asked for their help. My coordinator (for lack of a better term) has set a schedule, and the weekend before my wedding is the cherry blossom event in D.C. and my bridal party asked if they were needed both saturday and sunday and said they want to go to said festival instead of helping me with the decore... I saw red. I felt so betrayed, hurt, and unimportant; like they didn't even care enough to miss this YEARLY event to help me in my once in a lifetime event. No one is asking off time from work (I get it, bills are crappy), but people taking home projects is not going to end well at all, and for the most part, nothing will get done. So I had a full blown meltdown. My MOH is MIA because of her job being super shitty at the moment, I rarely see anyone from my bridal party. I'm miserable and alone, making 95% of the decisions all the while my mental health has tanked, and that tank has been sent into the depths of the ocean, and retrieving it is proving difficult. Three of my seven have helped extremely with helping finish my wedding dress (yaaaasy plus size), but i still lost my favors person and my florist person, so i have to somehow figure that out on top of the other planning. There may be things I have missed storywise, but the tldr is; my bridal party has fully dropped the ball, is making me feel like shit, and im an emotional bride whose losing her shit on the daily because I'm basically doing everything on my own.
I started watching your videos because I love your vibes and you describing very neurospicy traits about executive dysfunction has confirmed my suspicions that you might be neurodivergent.
I'm very confused how you think the bride barely knows the brother? I've dated people for only a year and been as close to their family as my own? Very strange to me...
To the first story. Yes, you're being a bride seller. And yes , if the brother and law is trying to get people to relax as opposed to doing it , he should be kicked out of the wedding party. But that needs to center around the groom given that it's his brother.
This sounds like the brother was just being obstinent on the surface. If the brother was having issues such as money or logistics, they weren’t conveyed, and I would have understood if there were issues- we don’t all live in big cities, and not everyone has reliable transportation. If there were issues, they didn’t seem to be brought up, so how would the couple know? For most people, it is not difficult to get fitted for a tux and rent it.
You talk too fast! Slow down please! Not everyone speaks English as their 1 language. Please stop talking/reading so fast. You barely finish a sentence, before you start a new sentence.
1. You can slow the video down. 2. You can make your own content and talk as slow as you want. 3. You can watch other videos with your preferred talking speed. Controlling the content creator is not an option.
Their are ways to slow down the video speed and you can turn on closed captions, you can even find a transcript to follow along with in the description. It's AI generated so it's not always perfect but you should be able to follow along with it easy enough if you have the video playing at the same time
I found out after our wedding that a groomsman forgot to order his tux until the day before the wedding. Thankfully, Generation Tux was able to overnight it and it arrived in time. So I can confirm that their customer service is great. 😅
We went through Generation Tux… we still had a groomsman that dragged his feet. Lol. Husband and groomsman were playing video games online and I was like oh perfect you guys are both on the computer. ORDER YOUR TUX. So my husband walked his buddy through the process and groomsman said I quote “oh… that was easy.” 🤦🏻♀️
Whew. I knew a lot of the guys in our bridal party tend to do things last minute so we just told everyone to wear whatever slim fit black suit, black shoes, and white shirt they want / have (and to send a pic to us for approval). You really couldn't tell they were all wearing different brands.
My groom got his suit 4 days before the wedding. Couldn't really throw him out of the wedding party, haha
I had one wedding party member who had over a year to get their wedding outfit, and a week out still hadn't done it. I basically said "if you don't have it by the time the processional music plays, you can sit and watch." At some point, had to sit back and let it play out how it was going to.
When you said you weren't someone who returns things, I looked at the late llibrary books on my desk and I felt very called out xD
Repent of your ways.
I oddly am having the opposite problem right now. I am a bridesmaid in an October wedding and getting all the ladies and the bride on the same page for a dress has been a nightmare. The groomsmen on the other had had their suits decided on months ago because the process was so easy! Generation Tux for the win!
You’re the reason I’ve been able to plan my wedding with only a day of coordinator. I haven’t started working with her, and we are almost done with all the planing. Thanks for keeping me saner and giving me great advise 💕
Okay but “lackadaisical” is SUCH A GOOD WORD. It made my day to hear you throw this word in so casually
I’m fighting with a SIL and MIL that got basically Walmart dresses that are mostly white. I don’t really care that much about attire rules, but c’mon y’all…
It’s like they’re trying to poke a bridezilla out of me on purpose and it’s nuts
I need an update. I hope they changed their dresses.
@ they did not, and they are now acting even worse, after the wedding because my MIL “didn’t get an opinion at all in planning the wedding”
It’s okay, we still had a great time and it was beautiful
I'm SO glad that I had no bridal party. It's not common here (some people do it, but most don't) and I don't see the point anyway - you can do everything that you do with a bridal party without calling them like that and without having them in special clothes. And it saves SOOOO much trouble. I did not have to pick wedding colours or outfits and everyone was responsible for their own attire. My wedding was very relaxed and I have beautiful photos with my friends, everyone wearing what they want 😄
One of our groomsmen was dragging his feet on getting his tux ... and then just RSVP'd "no" about a month before without calling the groom first to talk to him man to man and admit he wasn't going to make it. We were really hurt by that.
A groomsman did something similar in my first marriage. Days before the wedding, he suddenly said he couldn’t make it. Needless to say, my ex-husband stopped talking to him after that.
I think the brother was very rude by not showing any desire to appease his brother and new sister in law. If you're going to be in a wedding party, it's usually because the couple sees that member as reliable and helpful and this brother is neither, and obviously can't respect their simple requests of him. Better off having him not be in the party.
Our groomsmen did something similar. I don’t know if it was Gen Tux but they were wonderful. My son had to return his but they got the replacement one right away. But I was so busy with other things I never even knew. I placed that responsibility on the groom.
We used generation tux for our wedding and it worked out so well! Some of the suits were too long and gen tux reimbursed hemming. One tux was too small and Gen tux expedited a new one. If I ever get married again (hopefully not lol), I would totally use them again!
Keep recommending generation tux to everyone who isn’t married yet. It sounds like a great thing!
This makes me glad I'll have a small bridal party. My two sisters will be my bridesmaids; originally one of our cousins would also be one but she and her husband moved out of state and it would be too stressful for her. My husband-to-be will have his cousin and possibly his younger brother as his groomsmen. We're not sure if his brother will be able to stand still in a suit for the whole ceremony lol. My sister got married a few years ago and was on a tiny budget which meant almost everything was DIY. This will work to my advantage because I already know what to expect when doing things without a planner, and it also showed me some of the things to plan for that I wouldn't have thought about otherwise.
It’s been nothing but stress dealing with two bridesmaids who happen to be cousins of the bride and they themselves are sisters. I’ve included their mother (my sister and aunt to the bride) in this conversation and let all of them know seamstresses book out 3-9 months. Here we are four months away from my daughter’s wedding and no alterations have been scheduled let alone accomplished.
It’s always the cousins that act weird.
That does not sound right at all 3-9 months to get a bridesmaid dress altered. Just stop into a local tailor and they can usually do it in 1-2 weeks. It's a bridesmaid dress not the bride it's not like they need expensive tailoring from the bridal shop. I'm a bride and got my wedding dress hemmed and bustled at the local tailor and it took 1 month and she did great!
First story: make a day of it, get them all on the same day, offer a good lunch with beer/cocktails and food at a pub setting afterwards, kind of along the lines of getting people to help you move. Offer incentive. "If you build it, they will come" (Field of Dreams) It's guys. Come on. Beer plus pizza equals cooperation.
In the UK we also do not pay for the wedding party's attire, unless it's a super affluent family. In the modern day it is now very common to allow the wedding party choose their own within a colour scheme or style, which seems fair when they're the ones paying themselves.
I don't think this is the case across the board. Myself and my circle are definitely not "afluent" by any means, but I have been involved in 6 weddings in the last 2 1/2 years and at all the bride and groom paid for the dresses and suits.🤷♀️
@@fall4emptywordz87 fair enough!
I kicked my now husband’s sister out of our wedding party for telling him behind my back that I’ll never be considered part of the family to her, that I should not be invited to family dinners anymore and that, despite my best efforts to have a positive relationship with her that she will never like me and he needs to stop forcing me on their family 🌟
I’m from the UK, I’ve only been in 2 weddings, but both times I paid for my dress. I’d never expect the bride to pay :/
That’s unusual for UK. Never heard of that. Been bridesmaid number of times and the brides all paid for dress, shoes, hair and makeup.
UK bride to be here! I've been in like 6 weddings in the last 2 1/2 years and every time the bride and groom paid for the dresses and hair/makeup. Shoes have been a 50/50 split of being bought for or by the bridesmaids.
I've been a bridesmaid twice and both times the bride paid for the dress. I am aware that not every bride does it - both times for me, the bride went out of her way to assure the bridesmaids she was paying because it's not always assumed - but it's common. I simply wouldn't have been able to be a bridesmaid on at least one (probably both) of those occasions if they hadn't paid, and I think a lot of brides are aware that paying large amounts of money for dresses we probably won't wear again to fulfill their "vision" isn't going to be something everyone can do (or that everyone's ok with), so they consider it a wedding expense that it's only fair for them to take on. Different circles of friends do things differently though, so perspectives on what's "fair" vary.
yessss ive been waiting for a new reddit vid!! 💗
Me too !!
first 😍 can’t wait to watch as usual!!
Yeah we’re just not gonna do tuxes and avoid the whooooole issue lol
Hahahahaha I'm getting married in six weeks and my bridal party (except the maid of honor) don't have their dresses. I even made it easy for them -- we have a color and I said tea length or longer, get it wherever is easy in a style you feel beautiful in. My finace and I are taking a pretty relaxed approach to wedding planning, so we won't worry...much. As long as we both show up to the church on the appointed day, we get to get married. That's the theory anyway lol, lots of small things have gone wrong and that is just the nature of weddings I think
Not everyone wants to be in the wedding party. Getting kicked out is a reward. Less work and they still feed you for the win.
Not a wedding question but please give us a hair tutorial 🫶 thank you
Jamie also has a lifestyle channel. Check there too!
luckily bridesmaids were dating for the groomsmen
so most of them I just had to contact her to kick him out of the house to get it fitted lol
Shoot, I want a handler instead of having to be a responsible adult! 🙄
I disagree with the idea that if she’d done it she’d have been a random woman coming in and causing a familial rift. Firstly because she should - theoretically - at least already know the family a little. Secondly because the rift is already there. This tux thing seems to be a symptom of a larger issue, the younger brother’s blatant disrespect of others (or at least the groom). Based on the update the younger brother was getting frequent reminders about the Tux issue and couldn’t even be bothered to text back about it to say if there was an issue. Then when it’s on a call the younger brother just blew off the whole thing. There is no way this woman’s fiancé isn’t hurt by all of this. It may not cause them to stop talking altogether, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they decrease contact. I also wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t the first time the younger brother has done stuff like this.
Im a liytle comfused on the gen tux measurements part. Will the video explain how they can get no measurments but get it right? What if it still needs hemmed at the arms or waist?
Would it be worth getting the master plan 5 months before my wedding? I’m currently working just under full time and trying to finish up graduate school (6 credit hours and finish up my thesis). My fiancé and I have the venue, our officiant, my dress, and the photographer sorted. I just can’t spare the bandwidth to really plan too much of anything else right now.
Even if you just do it for a month to get the budget breakdown. It'll remind you of stuff you haven't thought of yet.
I agree that the worst part of planning events is having to babysit adults. My brothers are the worst when it comes to organising anything. Therefore, I’m the one always trying to organise family events like our mum’s birthday. I ask them to do simple tasks and for some reason they are just incapable of doing them. I don’t know if it’s weaponised incompetence or if they are just that lazy.
I must be out of the loop because every wedding I’ve been part of didn’t involve the men wearing tuxes. We just wore suits and matching ties
I'll never understand why bridesmaids are expected to buy their own dresses. Theyre usually ugly, the bride typically picks them, and theyre usually expensive. I believe the couple should always pay for the wedding parties outfits or at least cover half the costs. The one exception is if the dresses are being picked out by the bridesmaids. I told mine the only rules i have are they must be dark blue and floor length, other than that i just want them comfortable. Im still planning to provide at least $25 to each of them for their dresses. We're also assuming clothes (aside from my dress) will be our second biggest cost behind food (we got a free venue thru family)
I can’t even get my fiance to go try on suits! lol this stresses me out
Yes. The bro needed to deal with the bro. Then, if the deadline passes, c’est la vie.
Respectfully, what is AITA? Are you Reddit sponsored? Just curious, thanks.☺️
Your videos are generally great but this one really felt like an ad for generation tux.
OMG, first, can I just say, girlfriend who made the comment about speaking to his handler, you are SO RIGHT. So many boys think it's someone else's job to do Things.
Anyway, as to the question at hand, I would submit the following thoughts: You BIL clearly doesn't want to do this. We don't know why--it could be a control issue, a lazy issue, a just-don't-care issue, or whatever. Doesn't matter. Don't waste your time or go through all the brain damage of hand-holding a grown man to do a simple task; you are not his mommy, and you have better things to do. If he gets his tux, great. If he doesn't get his tux--or if he gets one but it fits badly or doesn't match or he has to scramble at the last minute or whatever--then that is on him. If he chooses to potentially look like an idiot in front of everyone, then let him fall on his metaphorical face!
Yes, you will have to let go and get OK with him potentially not matching the other groomsmen and potentially ruining your wedding pictures, but it won't be the end of the world. And you are going to be part of this family for the rest of your life; is an ill-fitting suit--or an outfit you don't approve of--really a good enough reason to create a rift with your brand new family? Also, it's possible that he really isn't comfortable being in the wedding party for some reason and he just doesn't want to tell you. If so, then allow him to bow out gracefully and don't browbeat him about it. If conveniently "forgetting" to order his suit in time is his way of getting himself thrown out, then just go with it. You don't want him being part of your big day anyway if he's going to hate doing it, right?
In my opinion, the brothers don't respect the fiancé (now husband), and they probably secretly didn't respect the marriage or didn't think it would last. Fiancé putting his foot down is the best-case scenario. She is NTA simply because she didn't have to act on her threat. Any action she truly took could make her TA. Shout out to her man. I hope their marriage lasts!!!!
Try having Covid (as a bride), knowing that you’re ten days away from the wedding and the groom/ groomsmen have not been fitted for a tux. 🤬
Aww yeah! More reddit stories!
I love that your fiance backed you up!!! I would have reacted the same! If i give you that much time to get so simple done and you refuse and try to change the conversation I would kick them out to. When you agree to be in a wedding party you accept the responsibilities, if you cant do the simplest things your out. Expecally since they were paying for the tuxs. And Id do the same to my own family and friends. I have already decided that I will make a deadline to have your full outfit and you must send me and the groom a photo of you in it as proof. If you do not meet this deadline you are out.
I don't buy things because I don't return things
So I had a similar issue....BUT WITH MY BRIDAL PARTY. It was way in advance, and while I didn't specify wanting to check it off my list asap, after the second reminder, you would think it would finally get across, but no. I'm the overly considerate bride type. I want everyone to feel beautiful, comfortable, and overall happy at the wedding. So I said, "Here is the link to Azazie, please pick 3 dresses you like and send the links to me so I can say yay or nay on them or so I could somehow pick dresses that had same elements so they looked somewhat cohesive even if they are different dresses in the same color. It took 3 months to do what would take AT MOST an hour to go through them and choose. After the third month, I got fed up. I only had 3 of the 7 people in my bridal party do what I asked of them. Having them do everything online was respecting their time and work schedules. I acknowledged that we all are adults and have a hard time getting all of us together at the same time because life can get in the way. After 3-4 months, I took one of the few gatherings we were all together, sat them down, and hooked up my laptop to the tv. We FINALLY got decisions made and ended up with the same dress for everyone. I still feel salty and hurt by that situation, but they also didn't interact with the google drive that I set up and shared with everyone. Couple that with being told our once a month gatherings were turning into wedding talk and was asked to stop. At that point, I gave up trying to include them. I was basically doing everything by myself. They knew it was going to be budget friendly, which means I needed all hands on deck to help, and I basically had no one and my poor fiancé hasn't got a clue and I often need to explain in detail only to be told he doesnt care about those aspects.
I have asked next to nothing from my bridal party ever since the dress debacle. Some money hiccups occurred where we thought we would have to postpone, and in my depression I did not continue with the planning, so now I'm a little over a month out still throwing things together. I have finally asked for their help. My coordinator (for lack of a better term) has set a schedule, and the weekend before my wedding is the cherry blossom event in D.C. and my bridal party asked if they were needed both saturday and sunday and said they want to go to said festival instead of helping me with the decore... I saw red. I felt so betrayed, hurt, and unimportant; like they didn't even care enough to miss this YEARLY event to help me in my once in a lifetime event. No one is asking off time from work (I get it, bills are crappy), but people taking home projects is not going to end well at all, and for the most part, nothing will get done. So I had a full blown meltdown. My MOH is MIA because of her job being super shitty at the moment, I rarely see anyone from my bridal party. I'm miserable and alone, making 95% of the decisions all the while my mental health has tanked, and that tank has been sent into the depths of the ocean, and retrieving it is proving difficult. Three of my seven have helped extremely with helping finish my wedding dress (yaaaasy plus size), but i still lost my favors person and my florist person, so i have to somehow figure that out on top of the other planning. There may be things I have missed storywise, but the tldr is; my bridal party has fully dropped the ball, is making me feel like shit, and im an emotional bride whose losing her shit on the daily because I'm basically doing everything on my own.
I wouldve kicked him out for the tiktok videos lol
I started watching your videos because I love your vibes and you describing very neurospicy traits about executive dysfunction has confirmed my suspicions that you might be neurodivergent.
I'm very confused how you think the bride barely knows the brother? I've dated people for only a year and been as close to their family as my own? Very strange to me...
To the first story. Yes, you're being a bride seller. And yes , if the brother and law is trying to get people to relax as opposed to doing it , he should be kicked out of the wedding party. But that needs to center around the groom given that it's his brother.
This sounds like the brother was just being obstinent on the surface. If the brother was having issues such as money or logistics, they weren’t conveyed, and I would have understood if there were issues- we don’t all live in big cities, and not everyone has reliable transportation. If there were issues, they didn’t seem to be brought up, so how would the couple know? For most people, it is not difficult to get fitted for a tux and rent it.
You talk too fast! Slow down please! Not everyone speaks English as their 1 language. Please stop talking/reading so fast. You barely finish a sentence, before you start a new sentence.
1. You can slow the video down.
2. You can make your own content and talk as slow as you want.
3. You can watch other videos with your preferred talking speed.
Controlling the content creator is not an option.
Their are ways to slow down the video speed and you can turn on closed captions, you can even find a transcript to follow along with in the description. It's AI generated so it's not always perfect but you should be able to follow along with it easy enough if you have the video playing at the same time