#1 Sign of Divorce
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
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Signs of Divorce....If you love your spouse and desire to continue learning and growing the relationship you long for, all while protecting your marriage from divorce, today’s episode is for you!
We’ll discuss what John Gottman says it is the single most corrosive behavior in a relationship and the biggest predictor of divorce. 😱 But don’t worry - I’ll show you how to spot it and what to do about it!
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I definitely had a lot of those beliefs... and I'm sure they pop up in other relationships too! Going to keep my eye out for these! Good stuff.
I appreciate you sharing this Jody. I find it so helpful for people to say common beliefs....because then I can hear my own.
The most corrosive behaviour is dishonesty and betrayal. Dishonesty is the number one reasons for divorce.
Lack of safety, trust, loyalty will result in the need for control.
When people feel insecure they turn to control and to contempt. It is a fight or flight response of trauma.
If there is no safety, honesty, loyalty then there can’t be trust, respect and security in such a relationship.
Contempt is brought by the traumas experienced in the relationship..
Hi Valerie, thanks for sharing your thoughts. This is not based on an abusive relationship.
If there is dishonesty and betrayal those are important things to address and work through. They are a reflection of the people in the relationship and can be so helpful to look at.
Great video! Loved the part at the end where you asked Jeff for feedback!
Yea, I still like the way I clean the countertops. ;)
@@jeffwoods9159 Nope - my way is better 😂
This was really good! Thank you so much for this information!
You are very welcome Amanda. Thanks for letting me know it connected for you.
Thank you 🙏
You’re welcome 😊
Great video. This has been quite the eye opener and probably more common than we are lead to believe. Do you have any videos / suggestions on how best to heal contempt? Thanks
Darren I am grateful to know this connected for you. I don't currently have a video on that; however, I will keep that in mind as an upcoming topic to cover.
For some time, I’ve known contempt to be present in my family (parents & sibling). Thanks for expanding on it. I’ll check Gottman’s work on it too. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing that.
This definitely holds truth in my marriage and in reflecting on contempt, it saddens me to think how flawed we (me and my spouse) are. I'm curious to know what some next steps might be if one or both aren't willing to ACKNOWLEDGE their contempt or that it is put in a scale as to who has shown or carry's MORE contempt? Feedback definitely requested.
These are powerful question. It sounds like the next step is deciding you want to acknowledge and heal your contempt. It can be scary to take the first step and it can be so rewarding in the ending
All of them 😮
Thank you for your honesty Jill. How can you begin to shift and create the marriage you long for
Sheesh Julia ! Do you have cameras in my house lol
😆I don't Sheryl, but it is amazing how much we are alike as humans.
I so love your channel. Thank you so much
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that.
Thank you 🙏🏽
You are so welcome.
For how long married people can stay together without addressing the issue?
Well, I think it depends on the couple. Some keep it that way for a long time and just become emotionally divorced, and others have a significant breakdown in the marriage sooner. It is a huge risk to take for any period of time.
Yes. I’m smarter, I’m more honest, I’m not a cheater so I’m superior to him, I’m better at keeping the house clean, I have more emotional intelligence
Oh wait, you can’t change another person, so,ya hate em😂
That is an option we choose as humans. That doesn't mean it is a great one. It is just an option we get to explore when and with whom we are choosing it