Great advice! I had many aha moments during my time receiving coaching from Julia one-on-one in 2015. My marriage and relationships with others are stronger for it. Getting curious, asking for feedback and making requests of one another are gamechangers in our marriage today.
I am so grateful that you found this video helpful, Eric, and that our time in coaching together strengthened your marriage and relationships!. Thank you so much for sharing!
This was spot on as I am the shutdown person. What I am going to take away is the stopping and letting my wife know what I am hearing is causing me to shutdown and we cause pause to talk about it so we can continue communicating.
It truly hurts hearing from your success and how intelligent and empathetically you manage to come over your husbands shut down strategy. I am similar to that husband, but my wife is completely different to you. I am not proud to say, that we never have an argue because whenever she has something to complain, I shut down and when it is really bad I put myself together for an excuse, but after that, it’s her turn to shoot up several other critics on me, they are always new to me, and I fear, that she has an endless list from which she can pick if I would ever ask her for a solution she would say that I only should stop being so annoying but when I don’t, it’s just my fault and I have to deal with it of course she wants me to be happy in our relationship, but She’s entitled to say what she thinks and it’s my problem when that shots me down. I like your solution very much but for me it’s Science Fiction. I will never come close.
Thanks for sharing more of your reality Thomas. This system that you and your wife have built is vitally important for you to shift. It is a system of bitterness and resentment for both of you, which will lead to contempt. That is a poison that will do significant damage to both of you. It takes is one person changing their contribution to the system to begin to create something new.
@@heyjuliawoods I appreciate your direct and empathetic answer to my comment. I already can see the signs you pointed at. Have you also a video, where are you show us how to make a start from a position of walking on eggshells for many years? My wife feels like she’s on the top and the best of herself. I already got a few tastes of that contempt you mentioned, so I guess it’s me, who is gonna change, but how?
@@thomasalbers6102 I really appreciate your willingness to look at yourself, Thomas. Have you seen my episode on How to Improve Your Marriage Without Your Spouse - ua-cam.com/video/pRLi4rYojek/v-deo.html
@@heyjuliawoods the requested video was very insightful. I think I need a good starting point where I can change myself in order to change my marriage and I guess it could be the next argue we will have. The objective could be to stand ground for the first time, not become that little boy looking up to his mother.
@@thomasalbers6102 Yes, a vision is a great starting point. It is the first step I have each spouse I coach start with. A vision is getting clear on who you are committed to be. What character trait (love, tenderness, openness, honesty...) do you want to call yourself to moment by moment as you interact with your wife.
Great advice! I had many aha moments during my time receiving coaching from Julia one-on-one in 2015. My marriage and relationships with others are stronger for it. Getting curious, asking for feedback and making requests of one another are gamechangers in our marriage today.
I am so grateful that you found this video helpful, Eric, and that our time in coaching together strengthened your marriage and relationships!. Thank you so much for sharing!
This was spot on as I am the shutdown person. What I am going to take away is the stopping and letting my wife know what I am hearing is causing me to shutdown and we cause pause to talk about it so we can continue communicating.
I love that you resonated with this Dewitt and that it gave you new options to try moving forward.
It’s like you are talking about me and my husband.
I love knowing this connected for you Clare.
I can totally relate
Thanks so much for sharing ma'am
I am grateful to know this resonated for you Vivian.
It truly hurts hearing from your success and how intelligent and empathetically you manage to come over your husbands shut down strategy. I am similar to that husband, but my wife is completely different to you. I am not proud to say, that we never have an argue because whenever she has something to complain, I shut down and when it is really bad I put myself together for an excuse, but after that, it’s her turn to shoot up several other critics on me, they are always new to me, and I fear, that she has an endless list from which she can pick if I would ever ask her for a solution she would say that I only should stop being so annoying but when I don’t, it’s just my fault and I have to deal with it of course she wants me to be happy in our relationship, but She’s entitled to say what she thinks and it’s my problem when that shots me down.
I like your solution very much but for me it’s Science Fiction. I will never come close.
Thanks for sharing more of your reality Thomas. This system that you and your wife have built is vitally important for you to shift. It is a system of bitterness and resentment for both of you, which will lead to contempt. That is a poison that will do significant damage to both of you. It takes is one person changing their contribution to the system to begin to create something new.
@@heyjuliawoods I appreciate your direct and empathetic answer to my comment. I already can see the signs you pointed at. Have you also a video, where are you show us how to make a start from a position of walking on eggshells for many years? My wife feels like she’s on the top and the best of herself. I already got a few tastes of that contempt you mentioned, so I guess it’s me, who is gonna change, but how?
@@thomasalbers6102 I really appreciate your willingness to look at yourself, Thomas. Have you seen my episode on How to Improve Your Marriage Without Your Spouse - ua-cam.com/video/pRLi4rYojek/v-deo.html
@@heyjuliawoods the requested video was very insightful. I think I need a good starting point where I can change myself in order to change my marriage and I guess it could be the next argue we will have. The objective could be to stand ground for the first time, not become that little boy looking up to his mother.
@@thomasalbers6102 Yes, a vision is a great starting point. It is the first step I have each spouse I coach start with. A vision is getting clear on who you are committed to be. What character trait (love, tenderness, openness, honesty...) do you want to call yourself to moment by moment as you interact with your wife.