My favorite way of looking at BPD is very simple. It originates because you were born a highly sensitive individual. This is a GOOD trait. As a child, you experienced something traumatic (sometimes longterm trauma, abuse or neglect, often from a parent) and this affected you deeply, more so than the average due to your innate sensitivity. This is obviously terrible. As a result of this combination, your nature (GOOD) and trauma (BAD), you now have a problem regulating emotions. Instead of working at a 3-5 emotional level (relatively steady), you bounce from 1-7 all the time (in a 1-10 scale). Your highs are HIGHER than the average, your lows are LOWER than the average, but you are still experience emotions that all people experience. The unfortunate part is that you feel intensity about things (good or bad) that don't merit the intesnsity, and often wear yourself out. You grow up feeling confused, peopel may think you're difficult or hostile or moody. You don't understand what is wrong with you and often have other issues such as depression, anxiety, sometimes autism. By the time you find out, you feel pretty confused, and it's normal. But the good thing about BPD is that it's treatable through DBT. People usually can manage completely with it within 1-3 years. And the skills needed aren't hard or complicated. They're skills that really everyone could benefit from, but BPDers really need. So don't be in that space of hating yourself for having BPD and dont be in that space of being afraid because others try to demonize the condition. Please accept that you can't control others and BPD is under researched and many people have misconceptions about it. You need to focus on YOU. Get better. Adopt coping skills. Change. SOmeone said "you can never be cured, only improve." Look, take it. Take improvement, and betterment. Don't get stuck in the detail of seeking a perfect solution and the creation of a perfect life. It doesn't exist. Take treatment.
Yeah. And you can't even be mad, because when you really love the other person you can't hate seeing them happy. But it doesn't stop it hurting or leaving you with that jaded feeling. At least that's my experience. I've gone through some rapid cycles of attachment/discard this last year, maybe 5, in romance, friendship, housing and the jadedness is so deep. But I think feeling it, and really looking at what happened, with a therapist, instead of continuing on this way, is a big part of recovering.
@themidnightcleric Stop thinking of it as jaded, and try simply stating that you're pragmatic. A happened, then B. But sometimes A happened, then C. But A can never be Z because XY would have to happen first, which is very unlikely. Then correct your own self in front of people to show that you're also trying to be open-minded, and reword your last sentence to be Z is unlikely to ever happen. But it's more likely that B or C would occur. "I'm just being pragmatic." (Do not follow it up with any kind of creepy know-it-all grin. Just shrug your shoulders and give them an inquiring facial expression, which shows that you're allowing them to digest what you said and to also give them the opportunity to throw their 2cents in. Because, after all, you are not omniscient. You are just pragmatic based on your prior experiences.
I was expecting the character to take their life. That was probably me projecting because that's how I lost my sister, from BPD after being broken up with.
@@bbyknives5566 Try to remember, there's a big difference between "What I Have To Deal With Mentally" and "Who And What I Am As A Person". Having emotional instability is a trouble, a challenge, it's is not a personal trait! Being kind, is.
And sometimes fail to cry at appropriate times!!!! Felt that especially! Someone I love and care for is hurting immensely??? Sit there in blank empty emotion ITS whaT I Do
Whenever my BPD is spiraling, and my thoughts get really dark.. I come back and watch this. I plan to get a little red ball tattooed somewhere when I can as a gentle reminder it’ll be okay. I used to work in childcare, I love to make art, and I’d like to hope I too can be kind at least.
Oh that vicious cycle of discarding someone when they hurt you so deep... Then when they're gone immediately idealizing them again and creating every excuse in your head to win them back. Even if they hurt you, its not worse than the abandonment or loneliness.
With that I hate that we're smart enough to realize that and see it all happening and actually hurt ourselves more but there are these feelings much stronger and voices much louder than that. It's exhausting
I’m a male with BPD. I’m married to my beautiful wife and thriving in my career. Did not think I would make it this far. I still fight the battle of “angels” and “demons” everyday. My wife is very social. She has a personal friend group and a professional friend group. They are always coming around my house and it makes me territorial and angry. Y’all know what I mean. But I look at her and something stops me from having an episode. I don’t know what it is, but I’m in control. I don’t think I’ll ever really love people outside my very small circle. But the little stability I have is a victory I suppose. EDIT: I want everyone to understand that my wife is ALWAYS welcome to have people at OUR house. The struggle is entirely on me and how I manage my emotional regulation, which comes with knowledge and practice. I still remain a very private person with a select group of people I keep close. My wife and I are happily married and she is my best friend in the whole world.
Having someone that makes you happy just by looking at them and let’s you be calm is not something everyone has, and is one of the most underrated treasures
@@pixelzebra8440I don't think underrated is the right word. Unrecognised treasure for sure, but there are many things people don't recognise until it's too late
As I see this video and read this I seem to really relate to this and lately my anger especially has been very bad (keep in mind I am a teenager) but I would like to know how I can figure out a diagnosis to know for sure?
Definitely a trend I've noticed. It seems like much of the resources regarding BPD are written by or tailored moreso to; people who've experienced BPD/narcissistic abuse in some form... And probably because most psychologists see the victims more likely to benefit from the information and actually change; so they don't tailor it to them at all. However, fundamentally speaking everything I've learned about BPD were in those other teachings as well (abandonment issues, black and white thinking/splitting, etc); but there's a big difference in how the content is worded. It was never intended to be 'kind' to people with BPD as focusing on being 'nice' over correct can sometimes take away the seriousness of how to interpret the actions of people with BPD... Which describing as 'chaotic' and almost always a negative to attach to is fair considering the overwhelming amount of negative, inconsistent behavior they exhibit. It's nice to have a kind, medical explanation of BPD so they themselves can understand their illness; however how their illness affects other people can be perceived how it is and does not need such filter. No group is shielded from criticism; but I do agree people with BPD get it laid on a bit thick all things considered. After dating an ex who had it; I have nothing but sympathy for both sides of the relationship and feel moreso pitty for these people who cannot emotionally regulate well into adulthood. My ex was a beautiful person when her illness wasn't convincing her to ruin all her relationships preemptively and push people out of her life... But I'd be a liar if I denied the reality that there was no viability in that relationship and she was a questionable person to keep in my life. All the advice I got to leave her was so the correct route whether it was flavored with hate or not. I tried everything and it only made her feel like I was engulfing her more. My point with that last thing I said; 'kinder advice' is what kept me in that deadend relationship. 'Just see it out' 'Don't abandon her, she needs you' 'It's not her fault she can't regulate herself' are EXACTLY the things that made me stay with someone who humiliated me via sleeping around with my social circle (accusing one of rape who even she later admitted didn't rape her), who proceeded to blackmail me to stay after multiple attempts at rekindling on my part. That person certainly is acting like a 'demon/parasite' or at least someone who's out to ruin your life; so I can't fault the teachers brave enough to call it how they see it. All I can say for people with BPD is don't watch those people's videos; they were not meant for you and help the people you hurt get over you 🤷♂️
@@chrissoto4878 bpd an narcissistic abuse aren't fucking real. are we saying bipolor abuse is a real thing now? Autistic abuse? someone mental illness has nothing to do with them being abusive. And there are Non-ableist words for it! Psychological abuse, mental abuse, something not ableist. People with personality disorder aren't more abusive than normal people The people "brave enough to call it as they see it", a good 90% of those people have never met a person with a personality disorder, they just armchair diagnosed people that hurt them with a mental illness they think is the same as being abusive. You can't support people with pds and think that it's justified to act like they are somehow a different type of abuser than a normal abuser. all abusers are the same mental illness has nothing to do with it.
Right? When I went to college and the professor just said people with BPD are "crazy" and that's the best way he could describe it. Then a girl behind me raised her hand and said she was diagnosed with BPD and is she crazy? The professor was so uncomfortable and honestly good on her for calling him out on his shit. Edit: This was a psychology 102 course, mind you.
LadyWinter13 It’s not exactly about impulse, it’s about how people with BPD (like myself) have an extremely complicated emotional roller coaster especially with interpersonal relationships. One minute he loves the ball, but something happens, maybe nothing, and he becomes scared of being hurt again, and in turn makes him act out of fear and anger to separate himself from the ball. Although it COULD be an impulse, my experiences with stuff like this feel more like a switch, like your feelings towards people and things changes drastically. Maybe even some traits you used to have become the opposite of what they were or just disappear completely. His explosion was, ironically, to protect himself from being by abandonment. In the end, he was abandoned because of what he had done.
As someone with diagnosed BPD, we’re always labeled as being evil. You look up BPD and the first things you see are articles, “How to Survive BPD Abuse.” You see and hear this enough that you start to wonder, am I that awful? Is that how I am? So, the ending where it said nice things made me, a grown adult, tear up a bit. Thank you.
Yes. We are seen as monsters, almost capable to "infect" others. While the modern narrative usually graces every group suffering from something ("it's more of a personality trait than an actual disease" etc.), it almost always makes an exception with us. 😔
My girlfriend has BPD, and she's one of the most wonderful people I've had the pleasure of meeting. You're a hell of a lot more than your disorder, keep your head up and remember to keep track of the good things you do and the good qualities you have! You got this
Not all people with BPD are bad people and can be very nice. Unfortunately there is a percentage people with BPD who are very much indeed abusive and don't care that they are in which probably caused the stigma around BPD. Similar situation with people who have Bipolar disorder or PTSD.
@@dexterbunny5424 And a similar situation with people who truly qualify for no diagnosis at all. Some percentage of them are abusive to only their closest loved ones, participate in genocide and war crimes en masse, are functional and normative within the rules of their society, and they don't give a fuck either. It's almost as if, regardless of what DSM designations we do or don't qualify for, we as human beings are all capable of great love and great harm, and responsible for our own actions and how they affect others-- whether the others affected are loved ones you allow your emotional turmoil to hurt or people with a specific diagnosis you justify the stigma for.
my ex had BPD and that relationship literally gave me PTSD (diagnosed). but even i can comprehend that you aren’t monsters. i’m sure me understanding what it was would’ve helped at the time, but now i know for the future. i’m sorry that people suck, and im sorry that your brain likes to make you think annoying and sometimes terrible things. it be like that. you are just as deserving as love as everyone else is 👍 you are more than the thing you were classified as, you are more than the disorder you got diagnosed with.
When I was first diagnosed with BPD my mother was scared to death by it, she had a full mental breakdown about how I would wind up dead in a horrific way because that’s how the TV reporters described BPD: just a bunch of unstable people that will end their lives at any moment. My mother doesn’t speak English but she loves cartoons so when I found Borderline Bill I showed it to her. I translated everything but whenever the red ball showed up I knew her mind was somewhere else because this old woman would only say “mhm” and not even look at me. By the end she cried and comforted me, saying everything will be alright and she was glad to have a visual representation of my illness. It eased her mind a lot, knowing BPD people aren’t “lost”, we are people still, we weep for our fallen heroes but a good majority of us preservere, specially if we have the support of our loved ones. It’s been years and my mom still begs me to make subtitles to this video in our language and honestly if I had help I would. Mental illness is still a taboo yet the rest of the world sees us as a dream country. We have 0 support for mental illness unless you’re willing to pay, possibly be in debt or even worse, get into one of our hospitals where you’ll leave more traumatized than before. Mental illness isn’t a joke, stop treating it like it is. Spread awareness like this video and you’ll be helping loads of people
It’s funny how I always thought these traits were just signs of immaturity and lack of emotion control. So I forced myself real hard to not cry or feel anxious around other people and avoid saying my thoughts out loud. To repress the feelings of abandonment to the point of feeling nothing at all. And then praised myself for growing so much emotionally when in reality, I’m just stuck with a disorder I didn’t even thought I may have.
I felt that, man. Im sorry. I also have bpd. Constant emptiness, during a day all sorts of mood from anger and hatred to happiness, then depressive, then irritated, then anxiety and fear. Diferent opinions about my job throughout the day, too. But these days it is a bit lighter version of all those. Thankfully, there are people who are helping me - A psycotherapist (Russian) Strletskaya (Стрелецкая). Maybe with subs, she can also improve your life
@ well, sir, it is something between being hopeless, suicidal, but not wanna die - you wanna feel positive feelings but cant because you have no will at the moment. Then, it passes, and you are very happy and dont remember anything
I remember watching this years ago and wondering if I had BPD because I sure acted that way, but I was young and it's normal to be irrational and high on hormones because you're experiencing intense emotions for the first time. And then I found out I had autism.
as someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, i've never seen informational material with such a kind and sympathetic tone. most resources talking about it see us as demons or leeches or unstable freaks, impossible to get along with or care for without being run ragged and sucked dry. this is so important, thank you. bless. 😭 💞
Well it could be because most with BPD end up being negative it seems, this one girl i know has it and has stalked me, plays the victim while playing the mastermind, tries to break people up in relationships, tries to do whatever she can to separate people in relationships, if toxic things are said about her she creates a lie about that person and that rallies people on her side, i am afraid of her cause she is really unstable
@@nicklopez8004 but the thing is that for her to be that bad, it means the disorder really has a hold on her. and i promise you she's suffering a LOT. i'm NOT saying that she should have all accountability for her actions waived away because of her BPD, but i am saying that she's still a person, just one suffering with a horrible, destructive disorder. she needs help.
My boyfriend who had BPD killed himself in September 2022. He showed me this animation in 2021 back when I was undiagnosed with BPD and I've genuienly cried everytime I've watch this
I saw this video years ago. And I still feel like im about to cry with the last sentences. "They can be good to babys Or good artists They are very kind people" Sometimes I remeber those words, in the middle of the street. And feel a little bit better. Thank you.
Sometimes my kids are the only things that bring me pure joy, and when it said that I felt that one tear start rolling hahaha ❣ Then when he kicked Mr. Nice 😭😭
Yesss it made me emotional seeing that. I’ve worked with babies and young kids before and I loved it so much. And I love art. I feel like I destroy everything so it feels good to hear that I can be good at certain things
Its the rapid flashes of anger that irritate me the most. I know they're irrational, and I have exelent control over them, but they're always there, simmering in the back of my mind.
This pisses me off so much (ironically lmao - the primary emotion is anger and the secondary emotion is anger ahaha). I get completely out of proportion anger surges at my mum, and it can make me really shitty. It's one of the main things I try to work on in therapy, cuz it's a behaviour in myself that is really out of line with what I value.
It's like an agitated feeling that just won't go away. You feel like you can do anything but at the same time something comes in to make you angry at every single little thing that happens around you. Even someone walking past you can agitate. It really annoying because when you try to find out inside yourself what it is that is causing this, it's usually from just existing. I feel those of us with BPD were born or became enlightened, as we see, feel, understand the world in a different way to others. We understand the truth out there. So for those of you with BPD who are having a difficult time out there. Just understand that you have the ability inside of yourself to understand the truth of the universe. We as BPDs need to first not abandon ourselves first. Learn to love ourselves and understand the things we do and why we do them. If we can respect others for why they do things, they should respect us for our reasons too. We can't help being born highly sensitive. Just like anyone else who is. Most of the time it's other peoples actions that cause us to perceive abandonment or that we see the same patterns happening so we know what is going to happen, or we just feel that something bad is going to happen, usually it will. Sometimes we have to accept it's best for us to not be in someone's life and vice versa. Otherwise both parties will suffer
The end with the dog kicking the ball away and immediately being struck with loneliness and wanting the ball back, imagining some other person finding the ball. I teared up a bit. Only a BPD can understand that bit and oh God, so true, so real.
I became a ball of tears when I saw that. It is so true and also true that no one but a borderline understands this. We are just seen as crazy and too much to handle. Thus perpetuating our loneliness and feelings of emptiness :'(
The not understanding is the worst part for sure. Seen as manipulative and cunning, when its constant triggered trauma and an inability to regulate emotions. I wish people could read our minds. I wish everyone lived with it for a month.
The ending made me cry…. I’ve recently “kicked the ball”, the ball being a dear childhood friend of mine (or was) who has stuck around no matter what, been there for me, done so many wonderful things and yet……. 💔 I hurt her badly due to perceived abandonment and now she will never, ever, come back (I can never take back the things I’ve said to her and I regret it everyday.)
Im with you. I started crying at 2:15 and wouldn’t stop. My body knew it was coming as soon as they mention “unstable relationships”- the worst part of BPD is pushing people away….
Dang, Mia. 😢 Hang in there. You might consider just sending a note explaining your condition, how much you regret your action, and that you forgive whatever they did, so your friend has the facts and can be at peace. Then they can make their decision as to whether to respond. If not, that's your conscience clean at least. That disorder sounds like such a burden. Praying for ya.
Oh this is weird. I had to leave my best friend who had bpd 2 years ago. I have ptsd and my absent mom had bpd so me and my best friend with bpd had a lot of traumabonded familiar ground. After 6 years, they unfortunately had begun to perceive me as rejecting them and they did something way too close to my traumatic abuse. I stood my ground for the first time, told her I loved her, contacted her parents to check on her after our conflict but I left so I wouldn’t get hurt again. I got in my car and I am scared to go back and I hate myself for it. I know she is sorry. I wish I could tell her how sorry I am for having to leave like that. I wish I could be the one to help her but I can't. I get flashbacks and panic attacks when triggered and I can't function. I still don't know what to do. I have tried to study the illness and bought multiple workbooks just to be a good friend. I know how painful that must've been. But I'm not healthy enough myself to be what she needs. And she did mess up. I guess what I'm saying is that this situation isn't easy and trust that there are still people who want to understand the painful and chaotic stuff those with Bpd experience. I will keep working on how to address these things.
@@oogalookIf you are the one with BPD the proper apology is not, "I forgive you." It is, "I am sorry. I was wrong. I was wrong to break your boundaries and I regret it everyday. I wish I wasn't like this and I have been doing x, x, and x to improve. I regret losing our connection bc of how much you mean to me. (Self focused loss) I feel shame and guilt and contempt for myself for hurting you. (Empathy)
Took me years accept I had BPD. I didn’t want to be seen as someone who is too emotional and dramatic. I don’t why, but I was surprised when the psychiatrist told me I had this. Then I actually did my research on it and finally realized yes, I am just like that damn dog in the video. Despite this, I fell in love and married my husband and we have been together for 10 years. We have a 3 year old, named Evy and she is the sun in my solar system. I say all this, because I want to tell other bpd sufferers that you can have a long term relationship ( it just takes a little extra work from both partners) and you can live a relatively stable and good life. For me, it took about 14 years to grow as a person(along with psychiatric medication and seeing a therapist) I know you guys can do it too, don’t give up!🌟
Hi Your story really inspired me when I read it and I want to ask you if you could tell me a bit more about how you did it and how it finally worked out for you because I have a friend which has BPD and I wanna know how to approach her correctly without unconsciously triggering her I'd be really happy when you are interested in telling me a bit more about it 😋 I really appreciate it, ty
@@irunaharu674 I would say bring up the topic of therapy (counseling) and that even people who AREN’T mentally ill can greatly benefit from it. This kind of takes the stigma away from seeking a psychologist’s help. Everyone is different though. My parents noticed something was off when they started getting me professional help when I was 14, but it about 3 years to accept that I was mentally ill and become comfortable with getting counseling and taking psych meds. Sometimes you have to just plant the seed (idea in their head) and over time, with patience(most times) they will seek help.
I have bpd, I completely lost it and started weeping when the words, “they are very kind people” came across the screen. I haven’t self affirmed my good traits in a very long time. I really needed to hear that. Thank you.
Vinyl Cat me too! I thought I was such a horrible and messed up person until one of my friends mentioned to me how nice I am with people. I was so shocked! My family had treated me as worse than scum, so hearing that really changed me.
i feel a strange feeling. i feel like my organs are disintegrating if i think about what im feeling to much, so i will stop trying to think of it. ill try to escape. i never feel loneliness as often. which is why its hard to find anyone like me. I just feel very empty. i feel like i know too much and theres no more to experience. theres no emotional content in anything. and i feel unbearably empty. then when im thinking of at the edge of my own thoughts about the world, because i become more thoughtful of things like this during episodes, i would feel like im on the top of the world. yet no one would be uo there. no one else would experience this. i felt whole when i saw this. id never ever seen something thatd be so fucking understanding and empathetic to this.
Then end where it said “they can be kind” etc made me so emotional bc I feel like I always have to prove I’m a good person and constantly fight with myself to not have bpd bc of the stigma that comes with the disorder
can be very kind, for a very short time. as when they are kind, it means they are already idealizing you.. meaning you are already split and will end up on the other side of the split in no time. no to mention, that they need to constantly devalue you once they have idealized you to control the powerful idealized object they have created in their minds. so even being idealized will not get you anything nice.
"Omnipotence and devaluation form a pair of defenses related to splitting. In a sense, they lie behind primitive idealization, the feeling of omnipotence becoming accessible to the patient through the link with the powerful, idealized object. Because he feels omnipotent, the patient feels invulnerable and safe from the malevolent objects around him and can omnipotently control those bad objects. The desire to control is turned back on the idealized object, for example, the therapist, through attempts to manipulate and exploit him and, thus, to possess him as though he were a mere extension of the patient himself. The devaluation, aside from being an explicit put-down, is also implicit in this manipulative, controlling action. Devaluation represents a form of control that is an attempt to defuse the malevolent power of the dangerous object. "
@@butterflymb93 Intuitive how? They end up in horrible relationships as they idealize people and cant see who they really are. They can be in relationships with bottom of the scum murderers and think they are just super duper awesome people. No to mention all the projection, denial and transferences they do mixing up their internal & external worlds. I would not call that being intuitive. There is nothing good in having borderline, its horrible disabiliating personality disorder that ruins lives.
I was diagnosed with BPD when I was entering adulthood, and my therapist was the one who showed me this video. The bit at the end is something that makes me smile whenever I think of it. Thank you for such an informative, and yet sympathetic video.
@@smoke_somethingI was the ball in the situation with my ex. I love her to death, but I can't bring myself to call her. Not after what she said to me.
BPD is a real buzzkill. It will make you cling to one specific person then after a while you start hating them, you "kick" them away then realize how much you need them. Love/hate relationships
My girlfriend has BPD. We have been together I think around two years, that included months where she refused to even talk to me before eventually wanting to be together again. Its been incredibly difficult and emotionally draining to be with her, but it does get better and easier over time and i do think eventually it'll be okay and we'll both be happy for the majority of the time were together.
I hate it. I know I love them but you start hating them uncontrollably. I stopped dating people I found I loved because of this fact. I don't want to ever hate them. It's hard when someone likes you a lot. You don't really have a good reason for telling them that you don't want to be with them, because it's not true. It is just something you can't do. I want to keep cheering those who I love on... It's so hard to live with any kind of personality disorder. Especially since those who don't have it can't understand. I have opened up for people to just tell me it shouldn't stop me from dating. But the thing is. It does, but I won't let it stop me from loving. So I'm always going to be there, just not as a significant other. Sacrifices are important for things important to you. Those who I love are important to me.
Thanks for having patience. I have it and have been consciously trying to be better and think of my fiance and his perspective more before letting myself get out of control. I lived with a lot of guilt, and I am far from being rid of BDP, but I made it through severe depression I can overcome my BDP too
@@alonsofonseca-px9ob también puede ser alejarse de uno mismo, siendo hiriente y arrepientendose de eso o ciertos errores , sentirte solo y miserable x los impulsos o falsas creencias
@alonsofonseca-px9ob I know this comment is old, but the answer given didn’t go into much depth, so I want to elaborate. The ball represents a favorite person, which is exactly what it sounds like. The dog absolutely adores the red ball, the red ball is his whole world. But then something happens, and the dog gets scared. He thinks he’s going to be abandoned. Suddenly and uncontrollably, he hates the red ball for wanting to abandon him, even if that’s not the case. He gets angry, and kicks away the ball (representing pushing away a real person). Once the dust settles he realizes what he’s done. His worst fear was the ball leaving and finding someone it loves more, and now he’s caused that to happen.
i actually do this i feel like a fucking button someone culd flip me and i would loose my kind, another flip im exhausted or back to normal, anything, literally anything. just one wrong look or gesture i take negatively and I'm like okay whatever bitch i won't associate with you, yet nobody around me ever sees anything that im seeing and they all just tell me im misinterpreting it. i just woke up and i feel really weird like im going to snap like a twig, i felt SO good yesterday i cleaned giggled all day and my speech was really slurred i was talking to fast, i don't trust any of them either, now i feel a mixture between sadness and blind rage i can only describe as deep specifically, red and blue for the sadness, im gonna like go tell somebody in real life about this now, My family thinks I have Bipolar 1 disorder undiagnosed and i think so to..
I was diagnosed with BPD at 17 after 9 months of observing my symptoms. It was the earliest she'd ever given someone the diagnosis. Catching my behavior early has helped, but one thing this video didnt mention is the possible heightened sense of empathy that comes with the disorder. It has shaped my entire life. I empathize with every living being on this Earth and I find that to be a gift. I think how much borderlines can love, is beautiful. The disorder is a byproduct of dysfunction or trauma, sometimes learned behaviors but that doesn't mean it is unable to give you something of value in return.
I understand your point about feeling "empathy", but I suggest you look into projective identification. If you can see yourself in someone else, you will empathise with them on the basis that you are unconsciously projecting your own pain onto them. Can you empathise with someone who has an issue that you don't understand or feel familiar with? That's empathy
Felt I'm 17 and have bpd I really feel like I can see all sides sometimes and it's weird...it makes life difficult though. Sometimes I just don't want to see it from every side. Like y can't I be like everyone else and only see things one way? I make too many excuses sometimes...but sometimes thags good
@@xxkerosensexx unfortunately people who have bpd are so unstable that they are either going to break up because of their fear of rejection/abandonment or cheat to have a "plan B"
BPD has been a challenging journey, but the therapeutic benefits of psilocybin mushrooms have been transformative, with other psychedelics like DMT and LSD also playing a key role in my healing and personal growth.
I always get scared watching videos about BPD because so many paint us as similar to a sociopath and act like everyone in our lives are a victim but this made me feel better. Thank you.
yeh, cause as soon you fucks start reading about bpd on the internet and self diagnosing yourselves with this shit, you start using it as an excuse to treat the people that love you as a piece of shit. you don't have an excuse
Django Mandingo How do you know they are self diagnosing? They probably do have it. You don’t know if they don’t. Also, even if it is bad to lash out at those you love, it’s not like they can control their anger. The symptoms of Bpd include uncontrollable anger. People with Bpd *can* be genuinely nice people at times.
@@umhello9962 Psychopaths can also be nice people at times. These people are no different, their primary function of existence is to bring harm to people. We do not tolerate psychopaths, why should we tolerate bpd and bipolar ppl? And for the self diagnosing part - if its some teenage e-girl saying she has it - its a fact she self diagnosed it online, shes just probably a shitty person to be a round with and wants to have a crutch so she can justify her shit behavior.
Django Mandingo Why are you comparing psychopaths to people with Bpd? Bpd people don’t intend to bring harm to others, while psychopaths may have the intention to do so. Also, psychopaths are way worse than people with Bpd, so don’t compare them. And again, we *still* don’t know if they are just faking for attention just because they are a teenage girl. It’s better to not say anything at all. Just saying.
They cry a lot. *Cries when it shows "they can be very kind" * It's been a rough night for me. I've been crying all night thinking about suicide and harming myself for certain reasons. I'll pull through. if you're reading this, please don't give up, keep fighting.
are you still there? youve got it! please don't do anything to yourself. it might be rough for now but keep fighting. everything will be alright. don't ever give up :)
Holy shit!! I never knew this comment had so many likes! Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm doing better than last year. Although sometimes it hits really hard. But I'm so glad I'm living and that I'm fighting. ❤️
It's so weird to see this comment now cz I've been better this year and then yesterday suddenly the same situation happened as the comment states and i did hurt myself a bit. Hell of a coincidence finding this comment now. But I'm doing much much better right now. Thanks to anyone who cared. Take care of yourselves ❤️
I hate the stigma around bpd - that people with bpd are horrible and angry beings. Yes, we lash out sometimes to those closest to us (my family for me) but we do try to be kind all the time because we know what it feels like to be hurt and alone. Also, everything negative going on in the world around us we are very aware of it and we are affected by it very severely; we're very articulate and always observe others and we notice even the smallest of changes in people.. It just sucks that we are misunderstood by most of society and classed as a bunch of psychopaths.
Shazza C bpd has made me an incredibly sympathetic person so now im an activist fr animal and human rights. It's easy to undetstand other people's pain when you hurt so much. This video portrays us as monsters and after treatmemt I'm nothing like that. There's help out there guys!
***** honestly same. I used to be a lot meaner when I was a child but when I reflect on the past I don't feel like the child I was has much connection to the person I am now, I guess the hurt is still there.. I also agree on the whole rights thing. I've been a vegetarian for over a year now and I even did a project on animal and human rights. I guess now that I know what pain feels like, I don't want anyone else to feel that way - especially the innocent.
I have a friend who has BPD. She tried to kill herself 2 days ago. I don't know what to do and it's affecting my mental health too... Sometimes I want to say fuck it and leave her but how can I? אגב גם אני מישראל.
Milky's im sorry about your friend. having a BPD friend is hard. i have BPD myself and i can offer you some advice if you would like it. but i hope your ok and feeling better mentally.
My best friend of 8 years has BPD and I love her so dearly. She is so kind, and so much more than her disorder. To those who have BPD, just know that there are people out there who are willing to understand you and love you for who you are, no matter what happens. If you haven't found them yet, don't lose hope. For us, I know God put us in each other's lives all those years ago and I'm so glad He did.
My best friend had bpd. And she hurt me. A lot. And I couldn't be there for her because she really really fucked me up. And I really don't want to see her again. But I do believe what you say is true. Everyone needs someone, and I hope she can find someone like that.
Yeah god isnt real and i dont have the luxury to play pretend with imaginary friends. So your imaginary platitudes are just that: big ol ball of nothing.
I have BPD, I'm a 35 year old male. I survived a lot of the worst of my illness and learned a plethora of lessons as a result of each one. My wife is the most patient, understanding and graceful person I've ever had the pleasure to know. She sees all of me, not just the emotional oscillations or random agitation. Shes patient with me but doesn't let my b.s slide. We communicate openly and boldly and I respect her for it. I used to think I was broken and unlovable, I used to believe I wasn't worth anyones time, not even my own. But a lot changed and she helped me through some of it. Still does and will, as I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life.
This gives me hope that I’ll find some sort of love or meaningful relationship in my life. I’m not diagnosed with anything, but I relate to this comment wholeheartedly, especially the _”it’s impossible to love me”_ part. Thank you for this.
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Whenever I feel alone and feel like I'm a bad person the quote "they can be kind people " brings me great comfort and encourages me to keep growing as a person
This interpretation made me cry. I felt as though there wasn't nearly as much negativity towards the disorder. I am still struggling with this disorder and it makes me feel better that this video approached the topic in a much more human manner. Just the very idea that this interpretation shows and understanding of my struggles. It made me cry. And at the ending, where it shows the good things about people like me... it made me happy to see that there is at least a little bit of compassion for this disorder. Most people just dismiss this disorder as psychopathic or overly dramatic or just plain crazy. This interpretation shows our struggles in a way that doesn't make us look entirely bad.
Right! When me and my wife were still dating, I think I broke up with her like 10 times. "Oh, a nice stable relationship with mutual care and affection? SOUNDS LIKE A TRAP"
@@tiramis0up Any advice for someone that lowkey loves a person with bpd and has for a year. but their indesisiveness is making it hard to stay cus I'm emotional, and idk wether they mean their feelings. It's so confusing because they dont want a relationship but they say they want to date me and another human cus they cant decide, and recently told me they've been benefits cus they haven't been in a relationship, which is true ig, but ouch my heartstrings have felt like I've been toyed, and even tho that human is toxic for them and they say I'm the only good person around them they'd still pick them not me. And now I'm scared if I leave them they'll get really sad or not care.
@@shaniatwain5530 oh honey a year? thats tough but i totally understand them when said they don't want a relationship but they wanna date you... for my own pov i really love it when someone is caring at me and giving me love and attention but as time goes by i grew this fear in me that maybe they don't really like me and i feel like i need to abandon them first before they abandon me or before they will grew tired of understanding my idencisiveness. But my ex made me understand that they will never leave me, that they will awalys be there to understand me, and that they will never hurt me. You both need to trust one another. Make them feel your loved and make them feel that you will always be there. Trust and communication is important. But dont forget to make room for yourself too. If ever you will leave I can say that they will get sad if you really made them feel your love. I really hope this helps and gives you an inside what on they feel.
@@tiramis0up I have bpd and I also have a boyfriend. You're right communication and trust is important. It's not easy because I always pushed him away at first and then I will cry when I feel like he will leave because he's tired. It's not easy at first, but now were working it out. It's hard for me to explain my feelings but when you said you love being loved but also scared that they're faking it so you have to detach yourself, I felt that.
i had a neurophysiological evaluation, the psychologist gave me an anxiety disorder diagnosis that is almost like bpd, I asked whats the difference between this and bpd and she said: “bpd likes to show out for attention and are suicidal, and youre not like that, youre too quiet” like wtf
"quiet" is literally a subtype of borderline, lol. i have/had bpd and it took me years and years to get the right diagnosis and treatment, because the professionals i was seeing expected a stereotype.
Never heard of the Disorder, and certainly don't have it. But to think that someone can have so many uncontrollable feelings that push them to go against all they want and make them push away any relationships. This made me cry, and I truly feel for all of you who have it.
our generation is so fucked up in the head that they want to identify as strongly mentally disabled, because they could identify them selfs with a black dog or something in a 5min vid... how pathetic can this even get
I dont think snow balls is talking about whoever made this video. I think he means that a lot of people give themselves a label with borderline or asperger or whatever before they even know what it is (because a lot of people actually do this seeking for attention). the only one showing arrogance is you for assuming you know exactly what someone means and insulting that person for it.
I think everyone can agree that the red ball is his FP because even tho he adores the ball, he can't stand it's affection and pushes it away and when the ball really left in the end, he realized that he needed the ball more than he thought. This sums up my friendships perfectly, especially because I've lost a friend because of the whole pushing away thing even tho I crave for their affection, I still reject it when they wanna give it to me. And now? They don't give a fuck about me anymore and even tho I really hate them, it still rips me apart.
I have BPD, and this really made me cry. Thank you for showing the disorder in a more positive light than most people. Words can't express how much I love this video.
Ann!3 Yeah, I had a pretty hard time dealing with the news when I found out I had BPD. It gets better with time though, I promise. Good luck and best wishes!
Just about every article I've read about bpd paints us in a negative light. They tend to stress how difficult we can be, and praise anyone who's able to deal with us. It meant so much that this video ended with positive words. I believe it's the first time I've ever heard anything positive about borderlines. Thank you so much.
Well I don't know Lance, I manipulated and did some scummy ass things because of the BPD and all the insecurities. I try to stay away from relationships now, because I know that I'm trouble. Maybe after therapy and when I feel like the BPD is less intense will I try to get a good relationship again, one that I won't ruin (well, that "me")
The thing is, we ALL do bad things. Even people without BPD screw up, manipulate people, and worse. So, just because we have something that causes us to screw up doesn't mean that people should run from us. We can fight it. Look at you! You're not going to pursue romance until you get it down to being less intense! I'm the same way! So, why should people run from us if we know we have a problem and are doing our best to get it under control? If anything, have a diagnosis gives us a sense of recognition and aim. We KNOW what is causing this stuff, so we know what to fight against. We know how to seek help for it.
+Molly Scully I've been feeling the same way. Although for me I have the need to be in a relationship otherwise I go into a low mood state. Since I began dating I've had roughly a week gap between a new relationship and the previous. I would break up with the person in every one because my feelings would just suddenly change for them and I wouldn't be interested anymore. A lot of the people I've been with had become very attached to me so when I've broken up with them for what seems like no reason they retaliate and become really low themselves. During relationships I'm coming to realize I'm not the best either. it's hard for me to notice it since I feel like I'm acting s certain way for a good reason but a lot of the time it's probably irrational. I've stopped myself from getting in relationships with good people because I know I'll damage them. Although it kills me whenever I meet up with a person I really like and share interests with and I know they like me back but I can't get with them because I know at one point I'm just going to randomly switch off from liking them and hurt them.
I feel exactly like that. Also I want to please, and I get so far in the "pleasing the person" that when I realise that this person is falling/liking me even if I don't share this feeling, I feel trapped because I can't say "Hey it's over now", I know it's what I need to do, but I fear their retaliation (justified) and so I let the relationship die and I become even more shitty so they stop liking me. So I give people a good time, and an awful time too.
i- i haven’t cried this much in ages when the symptoms started crowding around him at the end and then he saw the ball being happy with someone else i lost it
It's so painful to see that so many people continue to call people like us monsters, when in reality I have never hated anyone except for myself. I feel embarrassed to even say that I have it because of intense self loathing. Suicide rates for BPD show how hard we struggle with ourselves. I wish there was more love and compassion for us, the same amount that sufferers of other illnesses get, because we don't choose what disorder we have. We are not monsters, we are people who suffer and yes there are people who have bpd traits that are shitty, but there are also people with other health issues that are shitty, but they don't get called monsters for their diagnoses. I hope more time and research goes into bpd because it's been lacking so far. I hope things get better. I hope you are all okay and know you are not alone.
Maryum Mazhar bi polar with psychosis are called freaks and monsters so do schizophrenics. I do have bipolar and bpd (diagnosed) and can I say its shotty. But you're right we are not monsters or freaks
Your first line explains your problem of comprehension: First you say "us", then "I". You infer from your personal angelic being to the group as a whole, and vice versa. I will call any individual that drives me deliberately to suicide and lies to others to tell them to beat me up a monster. Too many of BDP are monsters, no matter their little nice moments. I know more stories than mine. BDPs may have been victims at some point, but too many turn into monsters themselves, and eventually create new ones, or simply broken souls and even dead people. Do not think that all others are like you, function like you. That's a narcissistic idea. I know a few BPDs who got themselves under control, but it's a lot of effort, I'm grateful to know such exist. However, that does not absolve the majority of BDP-people. They're dangerous, and I do not think they are in control of their actions most of the time.
Deedless Deity you're generalizing a lot and it sounds like you have bad experiences, but nurotypical people can be assholes too. None of my bullies had a diagnosis.
He doesn't end up alone because of his condition. He ends up alone because of his horrible treatment of others. BPDs need to stop pretending they are victims, when the reality is that they are the abusers.
Pick up a book. Your ignorance is showing and, your stigma towards the mentally ill is alarming. And yes, he ends up alone because of actions caused by his condition. Action he can't control because he hasn't received therapy yet. People leave because they don't care to stay with you while you try to improve yourself. Now, where did this sudden surge of hate come from? I posted this shit three years ago.
chucky8787 My BPD is a product of abuse as well. Why did you comment in the first place? I saw your comment a few days ago, but ignored it because I wasn't sure what you meant. But now I'm understanding that you see me as some sort of selfish person. You want to talk about me using an ad hominem (btw, that's not an ad hominem), but you're using hasty generalizations to mark all people with BPD as bad. I'm high-functioning, I have a job, mind my own business, and take my medication. Now, can you tell me what the hell is your problem? Did I say people follow me around to comment? See? You're assuming things.
And stigma is a result of ignorance. You're both ignorant. If you weren't ignorant, you'd know that there are various subtypes of borderlines as well as degrees of functioning. Sorry someone with BPD hurt you in your past, but we're not all the same. 🖕
Yeah, I've had my struggles... I wrote this when I was 18, in the middle of a break up... BPD began to onset then. Tried suicide with Windex, didn't work. My boyfriend at the time wasn't very supportive when I was seeking therapy, and yeah I was a bit unstable. He dumped me. Tried suicide again, didn't work. Just been on medication since. I think it's a bit unfair to take that little part of my teenage years and assume it's going to be the rest of my life. I haven't even started my life yet. Leave me alone... or not. I don't care. You're just a guy on the Internet with an opinion, and none of this even matters because life is meaningless. I know I'm a good person. I donate, I help homeless people, I give blood, I love my customers at work and care for their needs, I love my dogs, my friends, my coworkers.
As someone that struggles with BPD I can say this video does an excellent job depicting the guilt, rage, emptiness and hopelessness that is felt by those that have this disorder.. Thank you for making my point of view easier for others to understand. If you're going through a difficult time please try to stay close to a loved one. you are loved and cared for deeply.
Love this video. It is pretty accurate. Everyone experiences BPD differently, but to me it’s always felt like standing on a thin sheet of ice in the middle of a roiling ocean. Like you try desperately to not to fall off because you‘re scared you can’t get back on again, that the water will swallow you whole. Even when you find your balance, you’re scared the ice will crack or break under your feet until there is nothing left to hold onto. So sometimes you want to just jump into the water, be thrown around in the waves just to feel something, anything but that. It‘s a pretty fucked up place to be in, but I‘ll be damned if I drown. This disorder may be a part of me but it does not define what or who I am and I will fight it every fucking step of the way.
2.71828 1.41421 Hell yeah dude, its good that you understand that its just a part of you and accept it as such. Just make sure to get some help. As a person with a mental illness (not BPD but Generalized Anxiety) I know that its difficult to fight whatever troubles you may have alone. There may not be immediate results for whatever treatment plans you want to take, but for me talking to a counselor was a great start. Getting a lot of emotional baggage off your back is both refreshing and a good step forward. Nevertheless, in glad to hear that you have the will to fight it 😌
Suspected quiet BPD here. I come back to this video when I'm triggered sometimes. The ending always makes me cry. Hating yourself for reacting so intensely during an episode, then seeing "they can be good with babies, or good artists and can be very kind" coupled with the white noise just... feels so comforting and cathartic. Thank you. I'm so glad this video is still up after so long for this exact reason.
i know right!! i suspect i also have BPD and ill be heading back here if i need to settle down or just be reminded that, even though we're troubled people, we're still humans with a fragile heart i wish you the best, fellow soldier, stay strong and keep going! u got this!!
@@yelly27 relating to symptoms doesn't mean you have BPD, stop self diagnosing based off random internet content. seek unbiased professional opinion or quit posting about it as if your suspicions are relevant if left unconfirmed.
My girlfriend discovered she had BPD at 18, the start of our relationship. 2 Years in and its been a hell of a ride. I’ve never felt such an array emotions. But its no coincidence she found out she had BPD when did, it’s common to see symptoms in a long term relationship. It’s just been the hardest trial of my life, and unimaginably difficult for her. It’s so hard defending her when everyone doesn’t understand, because you always find a new point to make. but no one understands how it is at all, and that her condition makes her suffer. she never used to be like this, and all she wants is to be loved and accepted. i’m hoping to get my own form of care to increase my mental strength for her. lord know how far BPD can push an individual. watching this video really reminds me of her new way of life, and it helps to know she’s not gonna be lost in it
Negligence on the part of the caregivers, both by the mother and by the father, is believed to be a significant etiological factor. People with this diagnosis often see their mother as distant, disengaged, or conflicting. It is usually accompanied by the physical or psychological absence of the father in the family of origin of these patients, and the very situation of this family is most often chaotic and incoherent. These individuals have often experienced separation and loss of loved ones in the past, physical abuse and sexual harassment. These experiences have a very negative impact on the bond between the child and the caregiver. Then the so-called "Distrustful pattern of attachment", and this leads to the impairment of the mentalization ability, i.e. the ability to understand the psyche of the caregiver first and then of other people. It is the ability to reflect, understand what is happening, which allows you to work through the experienced psychological traumas and solve them. Borderline personality patients are usually incapable of reflecting on the content of their own mind and that of others; which consequently significantly impairs their ability to deal with difficult experiences.
Sometimes im so submissive to people that when someone gets mocks me, I just burst into tears because I think: but Ive done nothing wrong to him/her, why...? Other times, im not submissive, I just rage a lot (but because of me), sometimes, I dont even know how i feel, and that can happen all in the same thirty minutes.
After losing a relationship with my favorite person due to being too clingy, emotional and unwilling to respect personal space, this video has been instrumental in figuring out what to do forward for me. It's thanks to people like you that I will move to seek therapy and such, and I know if it wasn't you it would be someone else, but genuinely, thank you. I'm not sure that I have BPD specifically though it's very very very likely to me, but thanks for this animation
@@Mamon_Saleh pah, its been well over a year and a half now, but essentially I just didn't understand that I was my own person outside of the relationship and it led me to making many mistakes I regret. I'm in a proper relationship now - been for a year now - and I'm managing to handle it much better thanks to tips I learnt from therapy, as well as from my mistakes :)
@@fruity2want to keep my current relationship, any advice on how to avoid the spiralling and kind of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy when trying desperately to avoid feeling abandoned? im so confused all of the time lol
My ex has BPD. She sabotaged our relationship often, and eventually went too far. I think she thinks I hate her for this, or that I don’t want to be around her anymore. She described me as her red ball. I have never met a more kind and intelligent person though. She’s an amazing artist too. You know, she does these wonderful drawings in the silly Animal Jam picture editor. I will always love her. Above all of the pain and hurt she put me through, I think of her fondly. Above all else, I am just sad that I’m not the one for her. I think I’m just her Mr. Nice. I’m not what she needs, and I’m learning to accept that for what it’s worth. If you read this Des, I still love you. I will always love you. I cannot wait to see what beautiful pieces you make on Animal Jam next.
9 years later and I still come back to this video. I have been diagnosed with BPD, and this still is an accurate representation of what it feels like to have this disorder. I honestly almost tear up through it because it hits home so perfectly.
Everyone who commented words of positivity and support, I as a person who has BPD, I would like to thank you all. This made me feel understood for once.
The ending when everything is silent and empty sums up our experiences perfectly. After all the chaos, it's just empty and numb. Just an empty shell of a human...
That emptiness is the ABSOLUTE WORST FEELING ON EARTH. I AM READING ABOUT THIS THRU AN EXPERIENCE OF A FRIEND WITH BPD AND WAS TRYING TO UNDERSTSND WHY HE PUSHED ME AWAY. YOU HEAR ABOUT NARCISSISTIC TRAITS -(HE HAD LOVE/ HATE/JEALOUSY SYMPTOMS BUT GHOSTED ME AND NOW JUST SPYS ON ME WITH REGRET VISITS. HARD TO EORK OUT. IT WAS SO EMPTY AND LONELY AND LIKE GRIEVING SOMEONE COS HE DANGLED ME FOR LIKE THST FOR YEARS AND I WOULD NEVER KNIW WHEN I EOULD GET THE NEXT FLEETING VISIT AND HE WOULD GO WITH A LOT OF DIFFERENT WOMEN. ANYWAY FOR YEARS EVEN SO I KNOW THAT SUICIDAL EMPTY SINKING FEELING COS I NEVER FELT SO LOST AND RESTLESS IN MY LIFE. HE WOULDNT EVEN LET ME KNOW HIS CONTACT DETAILS. WHEN HE DRIVES PAST MY HOUSE -I THINK HE WANTED ME TO CHASE HIM BUT THAT WASNT RESPECTFUL TO ME. IM STILL CONFUSED AND EMPTY. 6 and a half years later cos he still drives by. ANYWAY JUST KNOW THAT SOMEONE LIKE ME COS IM A SCORPIO WITH DEEP FEELINGS AND SUFFER INTENSE EMOTIINS COS OF A WATER-EMOTIONAL STAR SIGN KNIWS EXACTLY HOW BAD ABD HOW DEEP THAT '(GUT-WRENCHING/EMPTY)' FEELING CAN BE ABD EVEN THOUGH IM NOT BPD. IT TOOK ME 5 YEARS TO GET OVER MY CAT DYING -OTHERS THINK -THATS TOO LONG BUT THATS ME -FEEL THINGS INTENSLEY MORE ABD SOMETIMES FEEL TOO VUNEREABLE FOR THIS WORLD WHEN ANIMALS GET HURT ETC. ANYWAY I HOPE THIS WAS OF COMFORT TO YOU AND OF SOME HELP.
I like watching videos about disorders as a person with ASD because I want to understand what they go through if I ever meet someone with that disorder. The amount of times people have not even took their time to know my disorder upsets me, I’ve been called the r slur one too many times but I end up pretending I don’t care.
I don’t have BPD. But I have psychotic disorder. And this video makes me really happy. Specifically the last few sentences. People with stigmatized disorders aren’t monsters. We are loving and beautiful people like everyone else
the music kinda gets....uspetting at the end....like you just want it to stop because it contradicts so much with how sad the video actually is. the music is just too happy....but then when it just stops....you suddenly feel empty and emotional. You suddenly want the music back. It's too quiet now....
music is vibrations in harmony dont be a slave to your senses look at this for what it is..stupid lies made to cage the mind of man and try to teach emotional responses rather then logical or critical..pathos logos ethos..nothing new under the sun
I come back to this video sometimes, and it makes me cry really hard every time. My doctor says I’m on the path to schizophrenia because of my “mental health soup.” I have ADHD, Autism, PSTD, Dysthymia, and I exhibit symptoms of both Bipolar-1 and Borderline Personality Disorder, but not enough for a formal diagnosis considering the similarities between my conflicting diagnosis, which are all relatively new (within the past year.) After finding out the past two therapists I’ve been to have been practicing either without a license, or are advertising themselves as something else, I’ve found a team of specialists at Reset Button Counseling who were able to listen to me and hear my words. I was diagnosed with Bipolar-1 and seasonal depression by the lady who said she was a specialist but wasn’t, and she immediately shot down any thought of me possibly being Autistic. It hurts to know I wasn’t correctly diagnosed, but it hurts even more still being able to relate extremely heavily to this video and everything about Borderline Personality Disorder. I wish I wasn’t the way I was. I just want to spread love but it’s so hard when everything in my head is controlling me and making constant pressure.
This hurt to watch, as if I was staring through a mirror watching an animated version of myself preforming a play through this video. It was enlightening and made a lot of sense to me all the parallels and similarities almost to the exact point. A melancholic display of what my life is everyday.
lemon face It really wasn't that funny What's funny is people thinking that their weird thoughts are just so edgy and cool. lol I'm sorry , now that was funny!
Lee Fart I thought it was cute personally because it explains it in a way that doesn't make it seem like people with BPD are batshit crazy and there are reasons behind certain actions intended or not it's from my perspective and the way I see it learnt coping mechanisms to situations as well as emotional dysregulation all into one the condition that is bpd although sometimes it can lead to other conditions other disorders it's kind of the lottery but genetic factors and Environment do have a influence in certain disorders
as someone who deals with BPD, I can truly say that this is the only video on youtube that accurately represents what it feels like inside of my head about 50% of the time.
My girlfriend has bpd and I'm really trying to understand a bit of how it feels, I know it's a really difficult thing to go through and I really wish I could do anything to help her with what she's going through, I hope everybody who has bpd finds mind peace soon, thank you for the video it made me understand it more
nobody really understands me, but this cute video made me feel accepted and understood, thank you for that. it's really not easy having to live with BPD... but we're gonna make it! Stay strong
Sevay I’ve been investigating , my ex and I lasted almost 5 yrs together and she loved me with all her soul and heart and all of the sudden poofff stopped loving me and broke up with me and almost all this symptoms listed on the video she had them. Except the suicidal one ... I’m so heart broken
I hate feeling like I'm outside of my body just screaming or sobbing and I literally can't muster the strength to feel any other way. It feels like a panic attack, all dizzy but more angry
I am a male with BPD. Was diagnosed 4 months ago. Been on medication for a year and a half now. My life has gone from completely chaotic because of a breakup (btw my girlfriend at the time also had bpd) to a very chill and happy life with psychotherapy and medications. Treat yourselves guys!!
I was recently diagnosed with BPD and have been showing the symptoms for as long as i can remember but dont know much about it. In all honesty, i always thought most of these things were regular things that applied to everyone. Ive been having a really tough time lately but this video made me smile!
And remember guys- over 95% of BPD sufferers recover within 15 years, the VAST MAJORITY within 1 year with proper therapy. The process of accepting that the ways you react to trauma are harmful is long and intense, but it is so rewarding and allows you to be someone who can love and be loved the way you long to be. Ive seen plenty of people who have been in full remission, and though the thought cycles remain, they can ride them out without much reaction and are much happier as a result. You got this ❤
I successfully managed it until I got a serious abandonment trigger. I’m on the edge of a spiral again and isolating from everyone for their safety and to reduce my reactions, again. This sucks. I thought I really had it beat or at least under control.
I was diagnosed with BPD 11 years ago and this film never ceases to amaze me with its accuracy in depicting the debilitating illness I deal with day in and day out. Bravo!!!
As someone who has BPD, I, and a few of my good friends have never been a "cruel borderline". We're actually very nice people, and lots of people with BPD are, we're just marginalized as being hurtful and abusive because many people don't take the time to know us.
You are marginalized because you DO tend to be abusive and hurtful. I lived with my BPD brother for more than 25 years before cutting off contacts with him, he was abusive and to this day refuses to get treated. Please seek help for this condition, for yourselves and other people as well.
PS: I developed AvPD since my main interactions during childhood were with him. But at least I'm getting treated and things are getting better. So please do the same
My favorite way of looking at BPD is very simple. It originates because you were born a highly sensitive individual. This is a GOOD trait. As a child, you experienced something traumatic (sometimes longterm trauma, abuse or neglect, often from a parent) and this affected you deeply, more so than the average due to your innate sensitivity. This is obviously terrible. As a result of this combination, your nature (GOOD) and trauma (BAD), you now have a problem regulating emotions. Instead of working at a 3-5 emotional level (relatively steady), you bounce from 1-7 all the time (in a 1-10 scale). Your highs are HIGHER than the average, your lows are LOWER than the average, but you are still experience emotions that all people experience. The unfortunate part is that you feel intensity about things (good or bad) that don't merit the intesnsity, and often wear yourself out. You grow up feeling confused, peopel may think you're difficult or hostile or moody. You don't understand what is wrong with you and often have other issues such as depression, anxiety, sometimes autism. By the time you find out, you feel pretty confused, and it's normal. But the good thing about BPD is that it's treatable through DBT. People usually can manage completely with it within 1-3 years. And the skills needed aren't hard or complicated. They're skills that really everyone could benefit from, but BPDers really need. So don't be in that space of hating yourself for having BPD and dont be in that space of being afraid because others try to demonize the condition. Please accept that you can't control others and BPD is under researched and many people have misconceptions about it. You need to focus on YOU. Get better. Adopt coping skills. Change. SOmeone said "you can never be cured, only improve." Look, take it. Take improvement, and betterment. Don't get stuck in the detail of seeking a perfect solution and the creation of a perfect life. It doesn't exist. Take treatment.
Well put
Thank you so much for this coment.
I Read it again, Still very well put
Thanks, Im just so petrified of what could happen again. I pushed everyone away again and I'm in a really scary dark place.
I feel understood
The end with the ball and then thinking and accepting that the ball will be happier with someone else is something I go through alot
Yeah. And you can't even be mad, because when you really love the other person you can't hate seeing them happy. But it doesn't stop it hurting or leaving you with that jaded feeling. At least that's my experience. I've gone through some rapid cycles of attachment/discard this last year, maybe 5, in romance, friendship, housing and the jadedness is so deep. But I think feeling it, and really looking at what happened, with a therapist, instead of continuing on this way, is a big part of recovering.
@themidnightcleric Stop thinking of it as jaded, and try simply stating that you're pragmatic. A happened, then B. But sometimes A happened, then C. But A can never be Z because XY would have to happen first, which is very unlikely. Then correct your own self in front of people to show that you're also trying to be open-minded, and reword your last sentence to be Z is unlikely to ever happen. But it's more likely that B or C would occur. "I'm just being pragmatic." (Do not follow it up with any kind of creepy know-it-all grin. Just shrug your shoulders and give them an inquiring facial expression, which shows that you're allowing them to digest what you said and to also give them the opportunity to throw their 2cents in. Because, after all, you are not omniscient. You are just pragmatic based on your prior experiences.
I was expecting the character to take their life. That was probably me projecting because that's how I lost my sister, from BPD after being broken up with.
Im sort of going through this rn
escaping from a social media to chat with ai bots instead so i won't hurt ajyone...
I dont know but i think sometimes it hard for me to get in relationship is like i know the other person will me more happy with another person
I didn’t expect the “they can be very kind people” to make me as emotional as it did
It actually made me feel worse hahah we have three good traits next to 9 terrible ones HAHHAHA I wish sum 1 loved me for me tehsjaksnjdkdbs
Word lol
same
When he kicked mr.nice from being angry at everything else 😂😭
@@bbyknives5566 Try to remember, there's a big difference between "What I Have To Deal With Mentally" and "Who And What I Am As A Person". Having emotional instability is a trouble, a challenge, it's is not a personal trait! Being kind, is.
"They cry a lot"
Whole comment section filled with people crying from this video (me included)
I actually laughed cause it was so relatable
Jakub Poliński I laughed and _then_ started crying
And sometimes fail to cry at appropriate times!!!! Felt that especially! Someone I love and care for is hurting immensely??? Sit there in blank empty emotion ITS whaT I Do
hahaha you have no idea lol
Crying while watching the entire video? Hi, that's me!
Whenever my BPD is spiraling, and my thoughts get really dark.. I come back and watch this. I plan to get a little red ball tattooed somewhere when I can as a gentle reminder it’ll be okay. I used to work in childcare, I love to make art, and I’d like to hope I too can be kind at least.
omg, that tattoo idea is just heart warming
@@yanitzar5227 Yes, my first thought, too. 🔴
🎈
I do the same thing too
Currently going through a really bad splitting episode and I had to pull this up as a reminder that I'm not a monster
omg the tattoo thing makes me wanna cryy!!!! /pos
Oh that vicious cycle of discarding someone when they hurt you so deep... Then when they're gone immediately idealizing them again and creating every excuse in your head to win them back. Even if they hurt you, its not worse than the abandonment or loneliness.
This hits way too close to home 😭
I can relate to this so well...
With that I hate that we're smart enough to realize that and see it all happening and actually hurt ourselves more but there are these feelings much stronger and voices much louder than that. It's exhausting
hit the nail right on the head
That's the cycle of a victim of abuse. Not BPD.
My husband who had BPD committed suicide last year. I still miss him a lot. He was the kindest person I knew.
I am so sorry for your loss, I send you all of my best wishes.
I’m sorry for you loss as well, I bet he was an amazing person. Best wishes to you and your family
I am sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing well. That's not an easy thing to go through.
Sorry for your loss. I’m sure they were a great person. I know I’m just some random person on the internet, but take care.
I’m a male with BPD. I’m married to my beautiful wife and thriving in my career. Did not think I would make it this far. I still fight the battle of “angels” and “demons” everyday. My wife is very social. She has a personal friend group and a professional friend group. They are always coming around my house and it makes me territorial and angry. Y’all know what I mean. But I look at her and something stops me from having an episode. I don’t know what it is, but I’m in control. I don’t think I’ll ever really love people outside my very small circle. But the little stability I have is a victory I suppose.
EDIT: I want everyone to understand that my wife is ALWAYS welcome to have people at OUR house. The struggle is entirely on me and how I manage my emotional regulation, which comes with knowledge and practice. I still remain a very private person with a select group of people I keep close. My wife and I are happily married and she is my best friend in the whole world.
Having someone that makes you happy just by looking at them and let’s you be calm is not something everyone has, and is one of the most underrated treasures
@@pixelzebra8440I don't think underrated is the right word.
Unrecognised treasure for sure, but there are many things people don't recognise until it's too late
Why is this one of the sweetest things I have ever heard- I’m happy for you that you found that person :)
As I see this video and read this I seem to really relate to this and lately my anger especially has been very bad (keep in mind I am a teenager) but I would like to know how I can figure out a diagnosis to know for sure?
You give me hope for the future
crazy how something about a mental illness and was made at least 12 years ago isn't calling people with BPD "insane" every two seconds
Definitely a trend I've noticed.
It seems like much of the resources regarding BPD are written by or tailored moreso to; people who've experienced BPD/narcissistic abuse in some form... And probably because most psychologists see the victims more likely to benefit from the information and actually change; so they don't tailor it to them at all.
However, fundamentally speaking everything I've learned about BPD were in those other teachings as well (abandonment issues, black and white thinking/splitting, etc); but there's a big difference in how the content is worded. It was never intended to be 'kind' to people with BPD as focusing on being 'nice' over correct can sometimes take away the seriousness of how to interpret the actions of people with BPD... Which describing as 'chaotic' and almost always a negative to attach to is fair considering the overwhelming amount of negative, inconsistent behavior they exhibit.
It's nice to have a kind, medical explanation of BPD so they themselves can understand their illness; however how their illness affects other people can be perceived how it is and does not need such filter. No group is shielded from criticism; but I do agree people with BPD get it laid on a bit thick all things considered. After dating an ex who had it; I have nothing but sympathy for both sides of the relationship and feel moreso pitty for these people who cannot emotionally regulate well into adulthood. My ex was a beautiful person when her illness wasn't convincing her to ruin all her relationships preemptively and push people out of her life... But I'd be a liar if I denied the reality that there was no viability in that relationship and she was a questionable person to keep in my life. All the advice I got to leave her was so the correct route whether it was flavored with hate or not. I tried everything and it only made her feel like I was engulfing her more.
My point with that last thing I said; 'kinder advice' is what kept me in that deadend relationship. 'Just see it out' 'Don't abandon her, she needs you' 'It's not her fault she can't regulate herself' are EXACTLY the things that made me stay with someone who humiliated me via sleeping around with my social circle (accusing one of rape who even she later admitted didn't rape her), who proceeded to blackmail me to stay after multiple attempts at rekindling on my part. That person certainly is acting like a 'demon/parasite' or at least someone who's out to ruin your life; so I can't fault the teachers brave enough to call it how they see it. All I can say for people with BPD is don't watch those people's videos; they were not meant for you and help the people you hurt get over you 🤷♂️
@@chrissoto4878 bpd an narcissistic abuse aren't fucking real. are we saying bipolor abuse is a real thing now? Autistic abuse? someone mental illness has nothing to do with them being abusive. And there are Non-ableist words for it! Psychological abuse, mental abuse, something not ableist. People with personality disorder aren't more abusive than normal people The people "brave enough to call it as they see it", a good 90% of those people have never met a person with a personality disorder, they just armchair diagnosed people that hurt them with a mental illness they think is the same as being abusive. You can't support people with pds and think that it's justified to act like they are somehow a different type of abuser than a normal abuser. all abusers are the same mental illness has nothing to do with it.
Right? When I went to college and the professor just said people with BPD are "crazy" and that's the best way he could describe it. Then a girl behind me raised her hand and said she was diagnosed with BPD and is she crazy? The professor was so uncomfortable and honestly good on her for calling him out on his shit.
Edit: This was a psychology 102 course, mind you.
@@_girl_bear_jesus. What a horrible human being. Good on that girl for calling him out.
Yeah, the schizophrenia joke feels wonky, but it's otherwise really empathetic and good.
That was the saddest video I have ever seen in my life. Spent his entire life fearing the ball... when at the end of the day it's all he wanted.
Jordan Grant but he loved the ball yet he fared it then kicked it away by accident
It wasn't by accident, it was actually by impulse, one of the main symptoms of BPD.
Oh god
Yes,exactly but the ball is exactly how people with BPD see people
LadyWinter13 It’s not exactly about impulse, it’s about how people with BPD (like myself) have an extremely complicated emotional roller coaster especially with interpersonal relationships. One minute he loves the ball, but something happens, maybe nothing, and he becomes scared of being hurt again, and in turn makes him act out of fear and anger to separate himself from the ball. Although it COULD be an impulse, my experiences with stuff like this feel more like a switch, like your feelings towards people and things changes drastically. Maybe even some traits you used to have become the opposite of what they were or just disappear completely. His explosion was, ironically, to protect himself from being by abandonment. In the end, he was abandoned because of what he had done.
As someone with diagnosed BPD, we’re always labeled as being evil. You look up BPD and the first things you see are articles, “How to Survive BPD Abuse.” You see and hear this enough that you start to wonder, am I that awful? Is that how I am? So, the ending where it said nice things made me, a grown adult, tear up a bit. Thank you.
Yes. We are seen as monsters, almost capable to "infect" others. While the modern narrative usually graces every group suffering from something ("it's more of a personality trait than an actual disease" etc.), it almost always makes an exception with us. 😔
My girlfriend has BPD, and she's one of the most wonderful people I've had the pleasure of meeting. You're a hell of a lot more than your disorder, keep your head up and remember to keep track of the good things you do and the good qualities you have! You got this
Not all people with BPD are bad people and can be very nice. Unfortunately there is a percentage people with BPD who are very much indeed abusive and don't care that they are in which probably caused the stigma around BPD. Similar situation with people who have Bipolar disorder or PTSD.
@@dexterbunny5424 And a similar situation with people who truly qualify for no diagnosis at all. Some percentage of them are abusive to only their closest loved ones, participate in genocide and war crimes en masse, are functional and normative within the rules of their society, and they don't give a fuck either. It's almost as if, regardless of what DSM designations we do or don't qualify for, we as human beings are all capable of great love and great harm, and responsible for our own actions and how they affect others-- whether the others affected are loved ones you allow your emotional turmoil to hurt or people with a specific diagnosis you justify the stigma for.
my ex had BPD and that relationship literally gave me PTSD (diagnosed). but even i can comprehend that you aren’t monsters. i’m sure me understanding what it was would’ve helped at the time, but now i know for the future. i’m sorry that people suck, and im sorry that your brain likes to make you think annoying and sometimes terrible things. it be like that. you are just as deserving as love as everyone else is 👍 you are more than the thing you were classified as, you are more than the disorder you got diagnosed with.
When I was first diagnosed with BPD my mother was scared to death by it, she had a full mental breakdown about how I would wind up dead in a horrific way because that’s how the TV reporters described BPD: just a bunch of unstable people that will end their lives at any moment.
My mother doesn’t speak English but she loves cartoons so when I found Borderline Bill I showed it to her. I translated everything but whenever the red ball showed up I knew her mind was somewhere else because this old woman would only say “mhm” and not even look at me. By the end she cried and comforted me, saying everything will be alright and she was glad to have a visual representation of my illness. It eased her mind a lot, knowing BPD people aren’t “lost”, we are people still, we weep for our fallen heroes but a good majority of us preservere, specially if we have the support of our loved ones.
It’s been years and my mom still begs me to make subtitles to this video in our language and honestly if I had help I would. Mental illness is still a taboo yet the rest of the world sees us as a dream country. We have 0 support for mental illness unless you’re willing to pay, possibly be in debt or even worse, get into one of our hospitals where you’ll leave more traumatized than before.
Mental illness isn’t a joke, stop treating it like it is. Spread awareness like this video and you’ll be helping loads of people
It’s funny how I always thought these traits were just signs of immaturity and lack of emotion control.
So I forced myself real hard to not cry or feel anxious around other people and avoid saying my thoughts out loud.
To repress the feelings of abandonment to the point of feeling nothing at all.
And then praised myself for growing so much emotionally when in reality, I’m just stuck with a disorder I didn’t even thought I may have.
literally going through that now with slip ups and ur comment just made me realize i need more help than i thought
same. i've repressed my feelings so much that it's hard for me to tell how i really feel.
I felt that, man. Im sorry. I also have bpd. Constant emptiness, during a day all sorts of mood from anger and hatred to happiness, then depressive, then irritated, then anxiety and fear. Diferent opinions about my job throughout the day, too. But these days it is a bit lighter version of all those. Thankfully, there are people who are helping me - A psycotherapist (Russian) Strletskaya (Стрелецкая). Maybe with subs, she can also improve your life
@ well, sir, it is something between being hopeless, suicidal, but not wanna die - you wanna feel positive feelings but cant because you have no will at the moment. Then, it passes, and you are very happy and dont remember anything
@@CATDHD thank you
I remember watching this years ago and wondering if I had BPD because I sure acted that way, but I was young and it's normal to be irrational and high on hormones because you're experiencing intense emotions for the first time. And then I found out I had autism.
OMGG HI TOKAKU
WHAT AGE DID YOU FIND THIS OUT BECAUSE IM GOING THROUGH ITTTTT RN BUT IM ALSO AUTISTIC THIS GETS MORE CONFUSING EVRRY DAY
Bro i might also have autism- shit-
@@VoteLNLSN I have a theory personally that confusing social cues as an autistic causes some BPD symptoms as one gets older
@@lesaubergines That does make sense Ima have to watch out for that 🙏🏾
as someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, i've never seen informational material with such a kind and sympathetic tone. most resources talking about it see us as demons or leeches or unstable freaks, impossible to get along with or care for without being run ragged and sucked dry. this is so important, thank you. bless. 😭 💞
its romanticizing a personality trait. I dont quite like it
@@OneDirection2V what are you talking about?
@@OneDirection2V Lol what
Well it could be because most with BPD end up being negative it seems, this one girl i know has it and has stalked me, plays the victim while playing the mastermind, tries to break people up in relationships, tries to do whatever she can to separate people in relationships, if toxic things are said about her she creates a lie about that person and that rallies people on her side, i am afraid of her cause she is really unstable
@@nicklopez8004 but the thing is that for her to be that bad, it means the disorder really has a hold on her. and i promise you she's suffering a LOT. i'm NOT saying that she should have all accountability for her actions waived away because of her BPD, but i am saying that she's still a person, just one suffering with a horrible, destructive disorder. she needs help.
My boyfriend who had BPD killed himself in September 2022. He showed me this animation in 2021 back when I was undiagnosed with BPD and I've genuienly cried everytime I've watch this
I am so sorry
I’m so sorry for your loss
So sorry to hear... bless your heart 😢❤
Sorry for your loss...
I saw this video years ago.
And I still feel like im about to cry with the last sentences.
"They can be good to babys
Or good artists
They are very kind people"
Sometimes I remeber those words, in the middle of the street. And feel a little bit better.
Thank you.
Sometimes my kids are the only things that bring me pure joy, and when it said that I felt that one tear start rolling hahaha ❣ Then when he kicked Mr. Nice 😭😭
Yesss it made me emotional seeing that. I’ve worked with babies and young kids before and I loved it so much. And I love art. I feel like I destroy everything so it feels good to hear that I can be good at certain things
I don't even think I have bpd but I still teared up a lil bit :'D
We are good artists. :-)
Me too
Its the rapid flashes of anger that irritate me the most. I know they're irrational, and I have exelent control over them, but they're always there, simmering in the back of my mind.
I have that. I think it's neurological, I have strongly imprinted grudges and whatever frustrations I experience tap into that unresolved anger.
Literally cus every little inconvenience sets something off inside of me
ALWAYS I wish they would stop but they won’t
This pisses me off so much (ironically lmao - the primary emotion is anger and the secondary emotion is anger ahaha). I get completely out of proportion anger surges at my mum, and it can make me really shitty. It's one of the main things I try to work on in therapy, cuz it's a behaviour in myself that is really out of line with what I value.
It's like an agitated feeling that just won't go away. You feel like you can do anything but at the same time something comes in to make you angry at every single little thing that happens around you. Even someone walking past you can agitate. It really annoying because when you try to find out inside yourself what it is that is causing this, it's usually from just existing. I feel those of us with BPD were born or became enlightened, as we see, feel, understand the world in a different way to others. We understand the truth out there. So for those of you with BPD who are having a difficult time out there. Just understand that you have the ability inside of yourself to understand the truth of the universe. We as BPDs need to first not abandon ourselves first. Learn to love ourselves and understand the things we do and why we do them. If we can respect others for why they do things, they should respect us for our reasons too. We can't help being born highly sensitive. Just like anyone else who is. Most of the time it's other peoples actions that cause us to perceive abandonment or that we see the same patterns happening so we know what is going to happen, or we just feel that something bad is going to happen, usually it will. Sometimes we have to accept it's best for us to not be in someone's life and vice versa. Otherwise both parties will suffer
The end with the dog kicking the ball away and immediately being struck with loneliness and wanting the ball back, imagining some other person finding the ball. I teared up a bit. Only a BPD can understand that bit and oh God, so true, so real.
I teared up too on that scene... and on the rage scenes because that is what is hapenning in my brain too...
I became a ball of tears when I saw that. It is so true and also true that no one but a borderline understands this. We are just seen as crazy and too much to handle. Thus perpetuating our loneliness and feelings of emptiness :'(
+repaeu this scene made me cry too :( i feel like such a monster for having bpd and hurting people i care about without meaning to.
+repaeu Same here :(
+repaeu Wow I thought I was the only one who felt that way on that scene...
I think the worst part is nobody being understanding and the absolute intense feeling of abandonment
We can’t run from ourselves, but other people can.
It isn’t fair. Can others think about us, for once?
The not understanding is the worst part for sure. Seen as manipulative and cunning, when its constant triggered trauma and an inability to regulate emotions. I wish people could read our minds. I wish everyone lived with it for a month.
The ending made me cry…. I’ve recently “kicked the ball”, the ball being a dear childhood friend of mine (or was) who has stuck around no matter what, been there for me, done so many wonderful things and yet……. 💔 I hurt her badly due to perceived abandonment and now she will never, ever, come back (I can never take back the things I’ve said to her and I regret it everyday.)
Kicking the ball is honestly the absolute worst part of this disorder.
Im with you. I started crying at 2:15 and wouldn’t stop. My body knew it was coming as soon as they mention “unstable relationships”- the worst part of BPD is pushing people away….
Dang, Mia. 😢 Hang in there. You might consider just sending a note explaining your condition, how much you regret your action, and that you forgive whatever they did, so your friend has the facts and can be at peace. Then they can make their decision as to whether to respond. If not, that's your conscience clean at least.
That disorder sounds like such a burden. Praying for ya.
Oh this is weird. I had to leave my best friend who had bpd 2 years ago. I have ptsd and my absent mom had bpd so me and my best friend with bpd had a lot of traumabonded familiar ground. After 6 years, they unfortunately had begun to perceive me as rejecting them and they did something way too close to my traumatic abuse. I stood my ground for the first time, told her I loved her, contacted her parents to check on her after our conflict but I left so I wouldn’t get hurt again. I got in my car and I am scared to go back and I hate myself for it. I know she is sorry. I wish I could tell her how sorry I am for having to leave like that. I wish I could be the one to help her but I can't. I get flashbacks and panic attacks when triggered and I can't function. I still don't know what to do. I have tried to study the illness and bought multiple workbooks just to be a good friend. I know how painful that must've been. But I'm not healthy enough myself to be what she needs. And she did mess up. I guess what I'm saying is that this situation isn't easy and trust that there are still people who want to understand the painful and chaotic stuff those with Bpd experience. I will keep working on how to address these things.
@@oogalookIf you are the one with BPD the proper apology is not, "I forgive you." It is, "I am sorry. I was wrong. I was wrong to break your boundaries and I regret it everyday. I wish I wasn't like this and I have been doing x, x, and x to improve. I regret losing our connection bc of how much you mean to me. (Self focused loss) I feel shame and guilt and contempt for myself for hurting you. (Empathy)
Took me years accept I had BPD. I didn’t want to be seen as someone who is too emotional and dramatic. I don’t why, but I was surprised when the psychiatrist told me I had this. Then I actually did my research on it and finally realized yes, I am just like that damn dog in the video. Despite this, I fell in love and married my husband and we have been together for 10 years. We have a 3 year old, named Evy and she is the sun in my solar system. I say all this, because I want to tell other bpd sufferers that you can have a long term relationship ( it just takes a little extra work from both partners) and you can live a relatively stable and good life. For me, it took about 14 years to grow as a person(along with psychiatric medication and seeing a therapist) I know you guys can do it too, don’t give up!🌟
Hi
Your story really inspired me when I read it and I want to ask you if you could tell me a bit more about how you did it and how it finally worked out for you because I have a friend which has BPD and I wanna know how to approach her correctly without unconsciously triggering her
I'd be really happy when you are interested in telling me a bit more about it 😋
I really appreciate it, ty
@@irunaharu674 I would say bring up the topic of therapy (counseling) and that even people who AREN’T mentally ill can greatly benefit from it. This kind of takes the stigma away from seeking a psychologist’s help. Everyone is different though. My parents noticed something was off when they started getting me professional help when I was 14, but it about 3 years to accept that I was mentally ill and become comfortable with getting counseling and taking psych meds. Sometimes you have to just plant the seed (idea in their head) and over time, with patience(most times) they will seek help.
thank you for the hope, kind stranger.
@@SIRKISSHY of course! Never stop putting in the work and effort to live a good life. Never give up hope. 💖
got me ugly sobbing at 7am... i, too, wish you all the best
to you, to your child, to your husband and to all you care for
thank you. i needed this
I have bpd, I completely lost it and started weeping when the words, “they are very kind people” came across the screen. I haven’t self affirmed my good traits in a very long time. I really needed to hear that. Thank you.
you are a good person!
the kinds of people I've met like this have been the sweetest. I'm sure you're an amazing person
Vinyl Cat me too! I thought I was such a horrible and messed up person until one of my friends mentioned to me how nice I am with people. I was so shocked! My family had treated me as worse than scum, so hearing that really changed me.
In the words of Kat Blaque:
*"You are beautiful,*
*and you are loved"*
You're beautifully flawed, as we all are.
3:45 excellent representation; I call it “the world comes back in”. It’s very quiet and you’re all alone again. And you earned it.
i feel a strange feeling. i feel like my organs are disintegrating if i think about what im feeling to much,
so i will stop trying to think of it. ill try to escape.
i never feel loneliness as often. which is why its hard to find anyone like me. I just feel very empty.
i feel like i know too much and theres no more to experience. theres no emotional content in anything.
and i feel unbearably empty. then when im thinking of at the edge of
my own thoughts about the world,
because i become more thoughtful of things like this during episodes,
i would feel like im on the top of the world. yet no one would be uo there.
no one else would experience this.
i felt whole when i saw this. id never ever seen something thatd be so fucking understanding
and empathetic to this.
@@lucian940 I can partly relate. For me, I’ve had more emotional connection with video games than real life.
Then end where it said “they can be kind” etc made me so emotional bc I feel like I always have to prove I’m a good person and constantly fight with myself to not have bpd bc of the stigma that comes with the disorder
Me too
can be very kind, for a very short time. as when they are kind, it means they are already idealizing you.. meaning you are already split and will end up on the other side of the split in no time. no to mention, that they need to constantly devalue you once they have idealized you to control the powerful idealized object they have created in their minds. so even being idealized will not get you anything nice.
"Omnipotence and devaluation form a pair of defenses related to splitting.
In a sense, they lie behind primitive idealization, the feeling of omnipotence
becoming accessible to the patient through the link with the powerful, idealized object. Because he feels omnipotent, the patient feels invulnerable and
safe from the malevolent objects around him and can omnipotently control
those bad objects. The desire to control is turned back on the idealized object, for example, the therapist, through attempts to manipulate and exploit
him and, thus, to possess him as though he were a mere extension of the patient himself. The devaluation, aside from being an explicit put-down, is also
implicit in this manipulative, controlling action. Devaluation represents a
form of control that is an attempt to defuse the malevolent power of the dangerous object. "
@@butterflymb93 Intuitive how? They end up in horrible relationships as they idealize people and cant see who they really are. They can be in relationships with bottom of the scum murderers and think they are just super duper awesome people. No to mention all the projection, denial and transferences they do mixing up their internal & external worlds.
I would not call that being intuitive. There is nothing good in having borderline, its horrible disabiliating personality disorder that ruins lives.
nobody nowhere if you don’t have BPD, DONT speak for us. Thank you
I was diagnosed with BPD when I was entering adulthood, and my therapist was the one who showed me this video. The bit at the end is something that makes me smile whenever I think of it. Thank you for such an informative, and yet sympathetic video.
Agreed 😅
I don't have BPD, but I've been the ball and the bit at the end makes me incredibly sad
@@smoke_somethingI was the ball in the situation with my ex. I love her to death, but I can't bring myself to call her. Not after what she said to me.
BPD is a real buzzkill. It will make you cling to one specific person then after a while you start hating them, you "kick" them away then realize how much you need them. Love/hate relationships
Alessandra Forman accurate.
Alessandra Forman sadly yes. I've done this before 😞 trying hard to work on it and not have favorites
My girlfriend has BPD. We have been together I think around two years, that included months where she refused to even talk to me before eventually wanting to be together again. Its been incredibly difficult and emotionally draining to be with her, but it does get better and easier over time and i do think eventually it'll be okay and we'll both be happy for the majority of the time were together.
I hate it. I know I love them but you start hating them uncontrollably. I stopped dating people I found I loved because of this fact. I don't want to ever hate them. It's hard when someone likes you a lot. You don't really have a good reason for telling them that you don't want to be with them, because it's not true. It is just something you can't do. I want to keep cheering those who I love on... It's so hard to live with any kind of personality disorder. Especially since those who don't have it can't understand. I have opened up for people to just tell me it shouldn't stop me from dating. But the thing is. It does, but I won't let it stop me from loving. So I'm always going to be there, just not as a significant other. Sacrifices are important for things important to you. Those who I love are important to me.
Thanks for having patience. I have it and have been consciously trying to be better and think of my fiance and his perspective more before letting myself get out of control.
I lived with a lot of guilt, and I am far from being rid of BDP, but I made it through severe depression I can overcome my BDP too
I have been diagnosed with BPD and this video made me cry. When he kicked away the ball I lost it.
what did that represent? i have some ideas but i’m not sure
@@alonsofonseca-px9obpushing away others due to stress and regret from doing so
@@alonsofonseca-px9ob Pushing away someone/something that you love and then feeling miserable
@@alonsofonseca-px9ob también puede ser alejarse de uno mismo, siendo hiriente y arrepientendose de eso o ciertos errores , sentirte solo y miserable x los impulsos o falsas creencias
@alonsofonseca-px9ob I know this comment is old, but the answer given didn’t go into much depth, so I want to elaborate.
The ball represents a favorite person, which is exactly what it sounds like. The dog absolutely adores the red ball, the red ball is his whole world. But then something happens, and the dog gets scared. He thinks he’s going to be abandoned. Suddenly and uncontrollably, he hates the red ball for wanting to abandon him, even if that’s not the case. He gets angry, and kicks away the ball (representing pushing away a real person). Once the dust settles he realizes what he’s done. His worst fear was the ball leaving and finding someone it loves more, and now he’s caused that to happen.
The ‘nice’ changing to ‘slut’ after she waved omfg 😭
it’s uncanny how accurate this is…
i actually do this i feel like a fucking button someone culd flip me and i would loose my kind, another flip im exhausted or back to normal, anything, literally anything. just one wrong look or gesture i take negatively and I'm like okay whatever bitch i won't associate with you, yet nobody around me ever sees anything that im seeing and they all just tell me im misinterpreting it. i just woke up and i feel really weird like im going to snap like a twig, i felt SO good yesterday i cleaned giggled all day and my speech was really slurred i was talking to fast, i don't trust any of them either, now i feel a mixture between sadness and blind rage i can only describe as deep specifically, red and blue for the sadness, im gonna like go tell somebody in real life about this now, My family thinks I have Bipolar 1 disorder undiagnosed and i think so to..
It’s a pity that OP felt the need to include misogyny. Feels really alienating as a woman with BPD.
@@TamagotchiSuperas a guy that’s pretty accurate lol it’s like that
@@TamagotchiSuperOh for f*cking christ, are you serious? It's just joking with the extremely toxic this disorder can be. Don't be that dense.
This is the best mix of art and education I've seen in my life
I love your akane image. I relate.
I was diagnosed with BPD at 17 after 9 months of observing my symptoms. It was the earliest she'd ever given someone the diagnosis. Catching my behavior early has helped, but one thing this video didnt mention is the possible heightened sense of empathy that comes with the disorder. It has shaped my entire life. I empathize with every living being on this Earth and I find that to be a gift. I think how much borderlines can love, is beautiful. The disorder is a byproduct of dysfunction or trauma, sometimes learned behaviors but that doesn't mean it is unable to give you something of value in return.
It’s all love brother ❤
I understand your point about feeling "empathy", but I suggest you look into projective identification. If you can see yourself in someone else, you will empathise with them on the basis that you are unconsciously projecting your own pain onto them.
Can you empathise with someone who has an issue that you don't understand or feel familiar with? That's empathy
Felt I'm 17 and have bpd I really feel like I can see all sides sometimes and it's weird...it makes life difficult though. Sometimes I just don't want to see it from every side. Like y can't I be like everyone else and only see things one way? I make too many excuses sometimes...but sometimes thags good
My girlfriend has bpd and I think she's amazing, I'll never abandon her. She's an angel and she's so strong it's unreal!
are you two together?
lol ur gonna get cheated
@@TheSecretMailMan what an ignorant thing to say
@@xxkerosensexx unfortunately people who have bpd are so unstable that they are either going to break up because of their fear of rejection/abandonment or cheat to have a "plan B"
@@TheSecretMailMan I have bpd and I've never cheated on anyone but okay sis
that BPD feel when you cry at the end when he kicks the ball away
I think that was the worst part. when it all got too much and he kicked the ball away.
I couldnt cry.
Nolta Aingell I couldn't cry but I was close too
it triggered me so much
Nolta Aingell that exactly happened to me
As a guy with Borderline, its nice to see a male representation of my illness for once. A dog at that. It feels right
Copy that man.
Same here
Are you assuming that dog's gender?
@@andrestoro2391 nobody even said anything about the dogs gender lmao
@@neztanizaki2346 yea they did the dude said male
BPD has been a challenging journey, but the therapeutic benefits of psilocybin mushrooms have been transformative, with other psychedelics like DMT and LSD also playing a key role in my healing and personal growth.
True, it helped me in facilitating deep emotional processing.
Do you know where i can get one? I really need this to clear my head
I got mine from doctorcyruss. He deals on all kinds of psychedelic and the most knowledgeable that i know.
Is he on telgram?
Yes and TikTok, highly recommended.
I always get scared watching videos about BPD because so many paint us as similar to a sociopath and act like everyone in our lives are a victim but this made me feel better. Thank you.
W io
yeh, cause as soon you fucks start reading about bpd on the internet and self diagnosing yourselves with this shit, you start using it as an excuse to treat the people that love you as a piece of shit. you don't have an excuse
Django Mandingo How do you know they are self diagnosing? They probably do have it. You don’t know if they don’t. Also, even if it is bad to lash out at those you love, it’s not like they can control their anger. The symptoms of Bpd include uncontrollable anger. People with Bpd *can* be genuinely nice people at times.
@@umhello9962 Psychopaths can also be nice people at times. These people are no different, their primary function of existence is to bring harm to people. We do not tolerate psychopaths, why should we tolerate bpd and bipolar ppl? And for the self diagnosing part - if its some teenage e-girl saying she has it - its a fact she self diagnosed it online, shes just probably a shitty person to be a round with and wants to have a crutch so she can justify her shit behavior.
Django Mandingo Why are you comparing psychopaths to people with Bpd? Bpd people don’t intend to bring harm to others, while psychopaths may have the intention to do so. Also, psychopaths are way worse than people with Bpd, so don’t compare them. And again, we *still* don’t know if they are just faking for attention just because they are a teenage girl. It’s better to not say anything at all. Just saying.
They cry a lot.
*Cries when it shows "they can be very kind" *
It's been a rough night for me. I've been crying all night thinking about suicide and harming myself for certain reasons. I'll pull through. if you're reading this, please don't give up, keep fighting.
I'm so sorry :(
Please don't hurt yourself!
are you still there? youve got it! please don't do anything to yourself. it might be rough for now but keep fighting. everything will be alright. don't ever give up :)
Holy shit!! I never knew this comment had so many likes! Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm doing better than last year. Although sometimes it hits really hard. But I'm so glad I'm living and that I'm fighting. ❤️
It's so weird to see this comment now cz I've been better this year and then yesterday suddenly the same situation happened as the comment states and i did hurt myself a bit. Hell of a coincidence finding this comment now. But I'm doing much much better right now. Thanks to anyone who cared. Take care of yourselves ❤️
I hate the stigma around bpd - that people with bpd are horrible and angry beings. Yes, we lash out sometimes to those closest to us (my family for me) but we do try to be kind all the time because we know what it feels like to be hurt and alone.
Also, everything negative going on in the world around us we are very aware of it and we are affected by it very severely; we're very articulate and always observe others and we notice even the smallest of changes in people.. It just sucks that we are misunderstood by most of society and classed as a bunch of psychopaths.
Shazza C couldn't agree more
Shazza C bpd has made me an incredibly sympathetic person so now im an activist fr animal and human rights. It's easy to undetstand other people's pain when you hurt so much.
This video portrays us as monsters and after treatmemt I'm nothing like that.
There's help out there guys!
***** honestly same. I used to be a lot meaner when I was a child but when I reflect on the past I don't feel like the child I was has much connection to the person I am now, I guess the hurt is still there..
I also agree on the whole rights thing. I've been a vegetarian for over a year now and I even did a project on animal and human rights. I guess now that I know what pain feels like, I don't want anyone else to feel that way - especially the innocent.
***** thank you. That's very lovely
Someone tried to tell me that I don't have BPD because i'm "worried that I do," which makes no sense.
4:14 made me tear up a bit. feels stupid but it means a lot to hear nice things about us. this is really well done. thankyou
This video made me feel understood for the first time in my life.
Thank you.
thank you, simone
I have a friend who has BPD. She tried to kill herself 2 days ago. I don't know what to do and it's affecting my mental health too... Sometimes I want to say fuck it and leave her but how can I?
אגב גם אני מישראל.
Milky's im sorry about your friend. having a BPD friend is hard. i have BPD myself and i can offer you some advice if you would like it. but i hope your ok and feeling better mentally.
Sime Same...
Sime same here..
The ending broke my heart. I've done that so many times.
Maria Eduarda Fajardo same 😞
The white hot flash of rage followed by icy dread when you realize what youve done.
Maria Eduarda Fajardo , you are amazing! I hope you doing well.
My best friend of 8 years has BPD and I love her so dearly. She is so kind, and so much more than her disorder. To those who have BPD, just know that there are people out there who are willing to understand you and love you for who you are, no matter what happens. If you haven't found them yet, don't lose hope. For us, I know God put us in each other's lives all those years ago and I'm so glad He did.
Ya everyone I ever loved and knew left me. I’m pretty screwed
My best friend had bpd. And she hurt me. A lot. And I couldn't be there for her because she really really fucked me up. And I really don't want to see her again. But I do believe what you say is true. Everyone needs someone, and I hope she can find someone like that.
Yeah god isnt real and i dont have the luxury to play pretend with imaginary friends. So your imaginary platitudes are just that: big ol ball of nothing.
I have BPD, I'm a 35 year old male. I survived a lot of the worst of my illness and learned a plethora of lessons as a result of each one. My wife is the most patient, understanding and graceful person I've ever had the pleasure to know. She sees all of me, not just the emotional oscillations or random agitation. Shes patient with me but doesn't let my b.s slide. We communicate openly and boldly and I respect her for it. I used to think I was broken and unlovable, I used to believe I wasn't worth anyones time, not even my own. But a lot changed and she helped me through some of it. Still does and will, as I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life.
This gives me hope that I’ll find some sort of love or meaningful relationship in my life.
I’m not diagnosed with anything, but I relate to this comment wholeheartedly, especially the _”it’s impossible to love me”_ part.
Thank you for this.
It’s a blessing and a curse to be able to feel so much.
Only people with bpd will understand how truly heartbreaking the final scene is
AdamUniversal it’s true. I’ve bpd, I know very well this kind of feeling. It’s definitely not easy to be me, and now I understand why :(
Laura I’m sure that if you scrape its viciousness away you’re a brilliant person beneath❤️
I'm crying so bad..
It's 2pm I'm crying in bed.
I cry everytime I see it somehow
As someone with bpd, the end really hits hard.
Yeah my chest hurt and I started tearing up
Sameee 😭
I'm crying at work... haha
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
Whenever I feel alone and feel like I'm a bad person the quote "they can be kind people " brings me great comfort and encourages me to keep growing as a person
This interpretation made me cry. I felt as though there wasn't nearly as much negativity towards the disorder. I am still struggling with this disorder and it makes me feel better that this video approached the topic in a much more human manner. Just the very idea that this interpretation shows and understanding of my struggles. It made me cry. And at the ending, where it shows the good things about people like me... it made me happy to see that there is at least a little bit of compassion for this disorder. Most people just dismiss this disorder as psychopathic or overly dramatic or just plain crazy. This interpretation shows our struggles in a way that doesn't make us look entirely bad.
if this video (minus the words) had zero context i wouldve thought it was an animation about a sexually frustrated dog.
AR Crimson oh fuck
As someone with BPD, it is, honey, it is.
@@Lena-cb6xg true lol
“they can be good to babys”is really important to me and when i see this video for the first time i cried a lot.
when he yeeted himself out the window to avoid his date 😂 i felt that
Right! When me and my wife were still dating, I think I broke up with her like 10 times. "Oh, a nice stable relationship with mutual care and affection? SOUNDS LIKE A TRAP"
same lmaoooo
@@tiramis0up Any advice for someone that lowkey loves a person with bpd and has for a year. but their indesisiveness is making it hard to stay cus I'm emotional, and idk wether they mean their feelings. It's so confusing because they dont want a relationship but they say they want to date me and another human cus they cant decide, and recently told me they've been benefits cus they haven't been in a relationship, which is true ig, but ouch my heartstrings have felt like I've been toyed, and even tho that human is toxic for them and they say I'm the only good person around them they'd still pick them not me. And now I'm scared if I leave them they'll get really sad or not care.
@@shaniatwain5530 oh honey a year? thats tough but i totally understand them when said they don't want a relationship but they wanna date you... for my own pov i really love it when someone is caring at me and giving me love and attention but as time goes by i grew this fear in me that maybe they don't really like me and i feel like i need to abandon them first before they abandon me or before they will grew tired of understanding my idencisiveness. But my ex made me understand that they will never leave me, that they will awalys be there to understand me, and that they will never hurt me. You both need to trust one another. Make them feel your loved and make them feel that you will always be there. Trust and communication is important. But dont forget to make room for yourself too. If ever you will leave I can say that they will get sad if you really made them feel your love. I really hope this helps and gives you an inside what on they feel.
@@tiramis0up I have bpd and I also have a boyfriend. You're right communication and trust is important. It's not easy because I always pushed him away at first and then I will cry when I feel like he will leave because he's tired. It's not easy at first, but now were working it out. It's hard for me to explain my feelings but when you said you love being loved but also scared that they're faking it so you have to detach yourself, I felt that.
The can be very kind part got me. I am always worried about how terrible and horrible I know I can be.
Not gonna lie, that sounds miserable. I wish all BPDers a happy life
It can be for sure. Its fucked. But idk, at least I'm alive and have deep emotional thoughts.
@@thebondofunitysame way i feel
@@thebondofunity Yeah, at least I am incredibly loving and caring towards other people!
We live. For most of us it’s miserable, but it’s easier when it’s all you’ve ever known.
it is. but thank you.
i had a neurophysiological evaluation, the psychologist gave me an anxiety disorder diagnosis that is almost like bpd, I asked whats the difference between this and bpd and she said:
“bpd likes to show out for attention and are suicidal, and youre not like that, youre too quiet”
like wtf
"quiet" is literally a subtype of borderline, lol. i have/had bpd and it took me years and years to get the right diagnosis and treatment, because the professionals i was seeing expected a stereotype.
Get a new one your psychologist is shit
Never heard of the Disorder, and certainly don't have it. But to think that someone can have so many uncontrollable feelings that push them to go against all they want and make them push away any relationships. This made me cry, and I truly feel for all of you who have it.
Martin Spooner King Jr. Thank you Sir. We don't want pity, just think differently than most
Thank you! 😭😍
Martin Spooner King Jr. thankyou sir
Martin Spooner King Jr. thank you
Martin Spooner King Jr. Aw thanks ;^;
this is possibly the cutest video ever related to psychology. this will be useful
what coloradolove means is how Ofir Sassion makes this video cartoonish and interesting not the person having the BPD
I agree that this video is cute, but I also agree that living with this has been hell, especially on my family.
RicyanS I found you :v!
our generation is so fucked up in the head that they want to identify as strongly mentally disabled, because they could identify them selfs with a black dog or something in a 5min vid... how pathetic can this even get
I dont think snow balls is talking about whoever made this video. I think he means that a lot of people give themselves a label with borderline or asperger or whatever before they even know what it is (because a lot of people actually do this seeking for attention). the only one showing arrogance is you for assuming you know exactly what someone means and insulting that person for it.
I don't know how to explain it but this 5 minute video has made me feel more understood than I ever have before
I remember watching this years ago, not knowing I had BPD. This makes me realize how much I’ve changed.
Brooo this felt like bpd making fun of itself in a haphazard and emotional way, which is something we do a lot. This video has borderline energy ✨
I think everyone can agree that the red ball is his FP because even tho he adores the ball, he can't stand it's affection and pushes it away and when the ball really left in the end, he realized that he needed the ball more than he thought. This sums up my friendships perfectly, especially because I've lost a friend because of the whole pushing away thing even tho I crave for their affection, I still reject it when they wanna give it to me. And now? They don't give a fuck about me anymore and even tho I really hate them, it still rips me apart.
Well hope you are doing well and some new good things come your way. Cheers to you and blessings your way
I have BPD, and this really made me cry. Thank you for showing the disorder in a more positive light than most people. Words can't express how much I love this video.
thank you so much. stay strong and smile often
Mary McGinnis I have BPD too and ADD... I just learn that this year... I'm trying to accept it....
Ann!3 Yeah, I had a pretty hard time dealing with the news when I found out I had BPD. It gets better with time though, I promise. Good luck and best wishes!
Mary McGinnis Thank you! I'm waiting for psychiatric help... Just to be sure I have the good pills...
jack darrell Go fuck yourself.
Its the "cutest" thing I've ever seen (and it helps me understand and tolerate it) about my disorder.. it always comforts me..
thank you❤
1- I have cried every time I've seen this.
2- I was diagnosed with bpd two months after first seeing this.
3- The animation is adorable. I love it.
@Fares B that's the magic of bpd... sheesh
Just about every article I've read about bpd paints us in a negative light. They tend to stress how difficult we can be, and praise anyone who's able to deal with us. It meant so much that this video ended with positive words. I believe it's the first time I've ever heard anything positive about borderlines. Thank you so much.
I know. Right?! Like, they say that we're abusive and they warn people to not get into relationships with us. Like WTF?!
Well I don't know Lance, I manipulated and did some scummy ass things because of the BPD and all the insecurities. I try to stay away from relationships now, because I know that I'm trouble. Maybe after therapy and when I feel like the BPD is less intense will I try to get a good relationship again, one that I won't ruin (well, that "me")
The thing is, we ALL do bad things. Even people without BPD screw up, manipulate people, and worse. So, just because we have something that causes us to screw up doesn't mean that people should run from us. We can fight it. Look at you! You're not going to pursue romance until you get it down to being less intense! I'm the same way! So, why should people run from us if we know we have a problem and are doing our best to get it under control? If anything, have a diagnosis gives us a sense of recognition and aim. We KNOW what is causing this stuff, so we know what to fight against. We know how to seek help for it.
+Molly Scully I've been feeling the same way. Although for me I have the need to be in a relationship otherwise I go into a low mood state. Since I began dating I've had roughly a week gap between a new relationship and the previous. I would break up with the person in every one because my feelings would just suddenly change for them and I wouldn't be interested anymore. A lot of the people I've been with had become very attached to me so when I've broken up with them for what seems like no reason they retaliate and become really low themselves. During relationships I'm coming to realize I'm not the best either. it's hard for me to notice it since I feel like I'm acting s certain way for a good reason but a lot of the time it's probably irrational. I've stopped myself from getting in relationships with good people because I know I'll damage them. Although it kills me whenever I meet up with a person I really like and share interests with and I know they like me back but I can't get with them because I know at one point I'm just going to randomly switch off from liking them and hurt them.
I feel exactly like that. Also I want to please, and I get so far in the "pleasing the person" that when I realise that this person is falling/liking me even if I don't share this feeling, I feel trapped because I can't say "Hey it's over now", I know it's what I need to do, but I fear their retaliation (justified) and so I let the relationship die and I become even more shitty so they stop liking me. So I give people a good time, and an awful time too.
There are about 171.476 words in the English dictionary. Yet none of them can express how I feel about this video.
Thank you so much for making this.
Understood?
"Avoids any positive stimuli due to fears of abandonment or disappointment" OWWWWWWCHHHHHH
i- i haven’t cried this much in ages
when the symptoms started crowding around him at the end and then he saw the ball being happy with someone else i lost it
It's so painful to see that so many people continue to call people like us monsters, when in reality I have never hated anyone except for myself. I feel embarrassed to even say that I have it because of intense self loathing. Suicide rates for BPD show how hard we struggle with ourselves. I wish there was more love and compassion for us, the same amount that sufferers of other illnesses get, because we don't choose what disorder we have. We are not monsters, we are people who suffer and yes there are people who have bpd traits that are shitty, but there are also people with other health issues that are shitty, but they don't get called monsters for their diagnoses.
I hope more time and research goes into bpd because it's been lacking so far. I hope things get better. I hope you are all okay and know you are not alone.
Maryum Mazhar bi polar with psychosis are called freaks and monsters so do schizophrenics. I do have bipolar and bpd (diagnosed) and can I say its shotty. But you're right we are not monsters or freaks
Maryum Mazhar you both sound young. give it ten years and the sadness turns into anger and spite.
Your first line explains your problem of comprehension: First you say "us", then "I".
You infer from your personal angelic being to the group as a whole, and vice versa.
I will call any individual that drives me deliberately to suicide and lies to others to tell them to beat me up a monster.
Too many of BDP are monsters, no matter their little nice moments. I know more stories than mine. BDPs may have been victims at some point, but too many turn into monsters themselves, and eventually create new ones, or simply broken souls and even dead people. Do not think that all others are like you, function like you. That's a narcissistic idea. I know a few BPDs who got themselves under control, but it's a lot of effort, I'm grateful to know such exist. However, that does not absolve the majority of BDP-people. They're dangerous, and I do not think they are in control of their actions most of the time.
Deedless Deity you're generalizing a lot and it sounds like you have bad experiences, but nurotypical people can be assholes too. None of my bullies had a diagnosis.
Deedless Deity also, you're using the wrong acronym and it's painful to read. Educate yourself please
This always leaves me crying at the end. When he ends up alone just because of his condition, just like me, and millions of others.
He doesn't end up alone because of his condition. He ends up alone because of his horrible treatment of others. BPDs need to stop pretending they are victims, when the reality is that they are the abusers.
Pick up a book. Your ignorance is showing and, your stigma towards the mentally ill is alarming.
And yes, he ends up alone because of actions caused by his condition. Action he can't control because he hasn't received therapy yet. People leave because they don't care to stay with you while you try to improve yourself.
Now, where did this sudden surge of hate come from? I posted this shit three years ago.
chucky8787 My BPD is a product of abuse as well. Why did you comment in the first place? I saw your comment a few days ago, but ignored it because I wasn't sure what you meant. But now I'm understanding that you see me as some sort of selfish person. You want to talk about me using an ad hominem (btw, that's not an ad hominem), but you're using hasty generalizations to mark all people with BPD as bad. I'm high-functioning, I have a job, mind my own business, and take my medication. Now, can you tell me what the hell is your problem? Did I say people follow me around to comment? See? You're assuming things.
And stigma is a result of ignorance. You're both ignorant. If you weren't ignorant, you'd know that there are various subtypes of borderlines as well as degrees of functioning. Sorry someone with BPD hurt you in your past, but we're not all the same. 🖕
Yeah, I've had my struggles...
I wrote this when I was 18, in the middle of a break up... BPD began to onset then. Tried suicide with Windex, didn't work. My boyfriend at the time wasn't very supportive when I was seeking therapy, and yeah I was a bit unstable. He dumped me. Tried suicide again, didn't work. Just been on medication since. I think it's a bit unfair to take that little part of my teenage years and assume it's going to be the rest of my life. I haven't even started my life yet. Leave me alone... or not. I don't care. You're just a guy on the Internet with an opinion, and none of this even matters because life is meaningless.
I know I'm a good person. I donate, I help homeless people, I give blood, I love my customers at work and care for their needs, I love my dogs, my friends, my coworkers.
As someone that struggles with BPD I can say this video does an excellent job depicting the guilt, rage, emptiness and hopelessness that is felt by those that have this disorder.. Thank you for making my point of view easier for others to understand.
If you're going through a difficult time please try to stay close to a loved one. you are loved and cared for deeply.
Love this video. It is pretty accurate.
Everyone experiences BPD differently, but to me it’s always felt like standing on a thin sheet of ice in the middle of a roiling ocean. Like you try desperately to not to fall off because you‘re scared you can’t get back on again, that the water will swallow you whole. Even when you find your balance, you’re scared the ice will crack or break under your feet until there is nothing left to hold onto. So sometimes you want to just jump into the water, be thrown around in the waves just to feel something, anything but that.
It‘s a pretty fucked up place to be in, but I‘ll be damned if I drown. This disorder may be a part of me but it does not define what or who I am and I will fight it every fucking step of the way.
2.71828 1.41421 Hell yeah dude, its good that you understand that its just a part of you and accept it as such. Just make sure to get some help. As a person with a mental illness (not BPD but Generalized Anxiety) I know that its difficult to fight whatever troubles you may have alone. There may not be immediate results for whatever treatment plans you want to take, but for me talking to a counselor was a great start. Getting a lot of emotional baggage off your back is both refreshing and a good step forward. Nevertheless, in glad to hear that you have the will to fight it 😌
💜✨🙏
Anyone else started off laughing and ended up crying?
yesyes
me
🖐️ me me me
YEP
Yeah... This shit is so relatable tho :')
Suspected quiet BPD here. I come back to this video when I'm triggered sometimes. The ending always makes me cry. Hating yourself for reacting so intensely during an episode, then seeing "they can be good with babies, or good artists and can be very kind" coupled with the white noise just... feels so comforting and cathartic. Thank you. I'm so glad this video is still up after so long for this exact reason.
i know right!! i suspect i also have BPD and ill be heading back here if i need to settle down or just be reminded that, even though we're troubled people, we're still humans with a fragile heart
i wish you the best, fellow soldier, stay strong and keep going! u got this!!
@@thewxtchsheartwho is "we", you're not diagnosed. 💀
I relate to literally most symptoms of it 😰
@@yelly27 relating to symptoms doesn't mean you have BPD, stop self diagnosing based off random internet content. seek unbiased professional opinion or quit posting about it as if your suspicions are relevant if left unconfirmed.
@@deadonthescene huh, who said I'm not actually researching?? And I'm not even self-diagnosing, I said I MIGHT have it. Are you fucking stupid??
My girlfriend discovered she had BPD at 18, the start of our relationship. 2 Years in and its been a hell of a ride. I’ve never felt such an array emotions. But its no coincidence she found out she had BPD when did, it’s common to see symptoms in a long term relationship. It’s just been the hardest trial of my life, and unimaginably difficult for her. It’s so hard defending her when everyone doesn’t understand, because you always find a new point to make. but no one understands how it is at all, and that her condition makes her suffer. she never used to be like this, and all she wants is to be loved and accepted. i’m hoping to get my own form of care to increase my mental strength for her. lord know how far BPD can push an individual. watching this video really reminds me of her new way of life, and it helps to know she’s not gonna be lost in it
Negligence on the part of the caregivers, both by the mother and by the father, is believed to be a significant etiological factor. People with this diagnosis often see their mother as distant, disengaged, or conflicting. It is usually accompanied by the physical or psychological absence of the father in the family of origin of these patients, and the very situation of this family is most often chaotic and incoherent. These individuals have often experienced separation and loss of loved ones in the past, physical abuse and sexual harassment. These experiences have a very negative impact on the bond between the child and the caregiver. Then the so-called "Distrustful pattern of attachment", and this leads to the impairment of the mentalization ability, i.e. the ability to understand the psyche of the caregiver first and then of other people. It is the ability to reflect, understand what is happening, which allows you to work through the experienced psychological traumas and solve them. Borderline personality patients are usually incapable of reflecting on the content of their own mind and that of others; which consequently significantly impairs their ability to deal with difficult experiences.
Very true. A great description.
That explains why I developed this way. Never really had anyone but myself
Fatherless behavior ?
@@DemsWshit fathers and shit mothers
@@DemsW effectively motherless behavior too. parentless behavior
Sometimes im so submissive to people that when someone gets mocks me, I just burst into tears because I think: but Ive done nothing wrong to him/her, why...? Other times, im not submissive, I just rage a lot (but because of me), sometimes, I dont even know how i feel, and that can happen all in the same thirty minutes.
I can REALLY relate to that...
What do you mean by submissive To people ?
@@Cami9325 like you literally become whatever they want you to be so they won't leave
Yes fr fr fr!
To sum it up, "I really tried this time..."
After losing a relationship with my favorite person due to being too clingy, emotional and unwilling to respect personal space, this video has been instrumental in figuring out what to do forward for me. It's thanks to people like you that I will move to seek therapy and such, and I know if it wasn't you it would be someone else, but genuinely, thank you. I'm not sure that I have BPD specifically though it's very very very likely to me, but thanks for this animation
Wdym by "being too clingy"
@@Mamon_Saleh pah, its been well over a year and a half now, but essentially I just didn't understand that I was my own person outside of the relationship and it led me to making many mistakes I regret. I'm in a proper relationship now - been for a year now - and I'm managing to handle it much better thanks to tips I learnt from therapy, as well as from my mistakes :)
@@fruity2want to keep my current relationship, any advice on how to avoid the spiralling and kind of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy when trying desperately to avoid feeling abandoned? im so confused all of the time lol
how do you get past those feelings without completely repressing emotions and becoming sort of ‘empty’?
@@IndigoRiverAli it's easy. Just trust them and let stuff happen. Thinking too much is a problem by itself
My ex has BPD. She sabotaged our relationship often, and eventually went too far. I think she thinks I hate her for this, or that I don’t want to be around her anymore. She described me as her red ball.
I have never met a more kind and intelligent person though. She’s an amazing artist too. You know, she does these wonderful drawings in the silly Animal Jam picture editor. I will always love her. Above all of the pain and hurt she put me through, I think of her fondly. Above all else, I am just sad that I’m not the one for her. I think I’m just her Mr. Nice. I’m not what she needs, and I’m learning to accept that for what it’s worth.
If you read this Des, I still love you. I will always love you. I cannot wait to see what beautiful pieces you make on Animal Jam next.
9 years later and I still come back to this video. I have been diagnosed with BPD, and this still is an accurate representation of what it feels like to have this disorder. I honestly almost tear up through it because it hits home so perfectly.
Thank you
Ofir Sasson I love you
Everyone who commented words of positivity and support, I as a person who has BPD, I would like to thank you all. This made me feel understood for once.
The ending when everything is silent and empty sums up our experiences perfectly. After all the chaos, it's just empty and numb. Just an empty shell of a human...
That emptiness is the ABSOLUTE WORST FEELING ON EARTH. I AM READING ABOUT THIS THRU AN EXPERIENCE OF A FRIEND WITH BPD AND WAS TRYING TO UNDERSTSND WHY HE PUSHED ME AWAY. YOU HEAR ABOUT NARCISSISTIC TRAITS -(HE HAD LOVE/ HATE/JEALOUSY SYMPTOMS BUT GHOSTED ME AND NOW JUST SPYS ON ME WITH REGRET VISITS. HARD TO EORK OUT. IT WAS SO EMPTY AND LONELY AND LIKE GRIEVING SOMEONE COS HE DANGLED ME FOR LIKE THST FOR YEARS AND I WOULD NEVER KNIW WHEN I EOULD GET THE NEXT FLEETING VISIT AND HE WOULD GO WITH A LOT OF DIFFERENT WOMEN. ANYWAY FOR YEARS EVEN SO I KNOW THAT SUICIDAL EMPTY SINKING FEELING COS I NEVER FELT SO LOST AND RESTLESS IN MY LIFE. HE WOULDNT EVEN LET ME KNOW HIS CONTACT DETAILS. WHEN HE DRIVES PAST MY HOUSE -I THINK HE WANTED ME TO CHASE HIM BUT THAT WASNT RESPECTFUL TO ME. IM STILL CONFUSED AND EMPTY. 6 and a half years later cos he still drives by. ANYWAY JUST KNOW THAT SOMEONE LIKE ME COS IM A SCORPIO WITH DEEP FEELINGS AND SUFFER INTENSE EMOTIINS COS OF A WATER-EMOTIONAL STAR SIGN KNIWS EXACTLY HOW BAD ABD HOW DEEP THAT '(GUT-WRENCHING/EMPTY)' FEELING CAN BE ABD EVEN THOUGH IM NOT BPD. IT TOOK ME 5 YEARS TO GET OVER MY CAT DYING -OTHERS THINK -THATS TOO LONG BUT THATS ME -FEEL THINGS INTENSLEY MORE ABD SOMETIMES FEEL TOO VUNEREABLE FOR THIS WORLD WHEN ANIMALS GET HURT ETC. ANYWAY I HOPE THIS WAS OF COMFORT TO YOU AND OF SOME HELP.
the ending made me literally sob but i have never felt so seen
I like watching videos about disorders as a person with ASD because I want to understand what they go through if I ever meet someone with that disorder.
The amount of times people have not even took their time to know my disorder upsets me, I’ve been called the r slur one too many times but I end up pretending I don’t care.
As a father to a child with ASD, you should know my next short animation will be about that exactly
As the mom of one, thank you! @@ofirzsasson
@@ofirzsasson i have asd, and I'm really excited to see what you make
@@ofirzsasson I’m always amazed when creators respond to comments on a 12 year old video
@@ofirzsasson I have autism and I'm really excited to see your next video. You are a wonderful artist
I don’t have BPD. But I have psychotic disorder. And this video makes me really happy. Specifically the last few sentences. People with stigmatized disorders aren’t monsters. We are loving and beautiful people like everyone else
the music kinda gets....uspetting at the end....like you just want it to stop because it contradicts so much with how sad the video actually is. the music is just too happy....but then when it just stops....you suddenly feel empty and emotional. You suddenly want the music back. It's too quiet now....
wethech exactly like BPD lmao, sometimes I feel every emotion at once but then sometimes I feel nothing at all, it's heckin weird
Replace 'music' with 'love' and you've described BPD pretty well.
music is vibrations in harmony dont be a slave to your senses look at this for what it is..stupid lies made to cage the mind of man and try to teach emotional responses rather then logical or critical..pathos logos ethos..nothing new under the sun
And now I just sit in silence
I come back to this video sometimes, and it makes me cry really hard every time. My doctor says I’m on the path to schizophrenia because of my “mental health soup.” I have ADHD, Autism, PSTD, Dysthymia, and I exhibit symptoms of both Bipolar-1 and Borderline Personality Disorder, but not enough for a formal diagnosis considering the similarities between my conflicting diagnosis, which are all relatively new (within the past year.) After finding out the past two therapists I’ve been to have been practicing either without a license, or are advertising themselves as something else, I’ve found a team of specialists at Reset Button Counseling who were able to listen to me and hear my words. I was diagnosed with Bipolar-1 and seasonal depression by the lady who said she was a specialist but wasn’t, and she immediately shot down any thought of me possibly being Autistic. It hurts to know I wasn’t correctly diagnosed, but it hurts even more still being able to relate extremely heavily to this video and everything about Borderline Personality Disorder. I wish I wasn’t the way I was. I just want to spread love but it’s so hard when everything in my head is controlling me and making constant pressure.
Stay strong
@@ofirzsasson thank you. It really does mean a lot.
This hurt to watch, as if I was staring through a mirror watching an animated version of myself preforming a play through this video. It was enlightening and made a lot of sense to me all the parallels and similarities almost to the exact point. A melancholic display of what my life is everyday.
i know i shouldnt be laughing, but i cracked up when he lit 50 cigs, drank, drove the car and immediately caught on fire , i feel so bad for laughing
lemon face dont be i laughed to and im borderline lol
lemon face it's true though, I have bpd and have had two duis and have had heavy drug usage. Impulsivity is huge for me
lemon face It really wasn't that funny What's funny is people thinking that their weird thoughts are just so edgy and cool. lol I'm sorry , now that was funny!
Lee Fart I thought it was cute personally because it explains it in a way that doesn't make it seem like people with BPD are batshit crazy and there are reasons behind certain actions intended or not it's from my perspective and the way I see it learnt coping mechanisms to situations as well as emotional dysregulation all into one the condition that is bpd although sometimes it can lead to other conditions other disorders it's kind of the lottery but genetic factors and Environment do have a influence in certain disorders
I have BPD and that's literally me lmao...
as someone who deals with BPD, I can truly say that this is the only video on youtube that accurately represents what it feels like inside of my head about 50% of the time.
My girlfriend has bpd and I'm really trying to understand a bit of how it feels, I know it's a really difficult thing to go through and I really wish I could do anything to help her with what she's going through, I hope everybody who has bpd finds mind peace soon, thank you for the video it made me understand it more
Thank you for this. The ending was so...relatable and I actually cried
thank you, Gabby
*sobs* :'(
Oliver Onorato ᴹᴱ ᵀᴼᴼ
s a m e
me too, I cry almost every time I see it
nobody really understands me, but this cute video made me feel accepted and understood, thank you for that. it's really not easy having to live with BPD... but we're gonna make it! Stay strong
thank you, stay strong :)
Ofir Sasson you're very welcome😊 Thank you for that heart! So cute! You just made my day😊
Thank you, these days have been hard.
"nobody really understands me", now, THAT is such a BPD thing to say.
Sevay I’ve been investigating , my ex and I lasted almost 5 yrs together and she loved me with all her soul and heart and all of the sudden poofff stopped loving me and broke up with me and almost all this symptoms listed on the video she had them. Except the suicidal one ... I’m so heart broken
Leave me alone. I love you, please dont leave me.
I hate feeling like I'm outside of my body just screaming or sobbing and I literally can't muster the strength to feel any other way. It feels like a panic attack, all dizzy but more angry
I am a male with BPD. Was diagnosed 4 months ago. Been on medication for a year and a half now. My life has gone from completely chaotic because of a breakup (btw my girlfriend at the time also had bpd) to a very chill and happy life with psychotherapy and medications. Treat yourselves guys!!
I was recently diagnosed with BPD and have been showing the symptoms for as long as i can remember but dont know much about it.
In all honesty, i always thought most of these things were regular things that applied to everyone.
Ive been having a really tough time lately but this video made me smile!
Aj Jauqson I’m in the same boat. I didn’t know other people could feel more than one emotion at a time.
And remember guys- over 95% of BPD sufferers recover within 15 years, the VAST MAJORITY within 1 year with proper therapy. The process of accepting that the ways you react to trauma are harmful is long and intense, but it is so rewarding and allows you to be someone who can love and be loved the way you long to be. Ive seen plenty of people who have been in full remission, and though the thought cycles remain, they can ride them out without much reaction and are much happier as a result. You got this ❤
95%? really?
I don’t think I can survive that long tbh
Is there a difference between bpd and cptsd
I successfully managed it until I got a serious abandonment trigger. I’m on the edge of a spiral again and isolating from everyone for their safety and to reduce my reactions, again.
This sucks. I thought I really had it beat or at least under control.
You are a great person, thank you 🙏🏻 (already 6 years in!)
I was diagnosed with BPD 11 years ago and this film never ceases to amaze me with its accuracy in depicting the debilitating illness I deal with day in and day out. Bravo!!!
As someone who has BPD, I, and a few of my good friends have never been a "cruel borderline". We're actually very nice people, and lots of people with BPD are, we're just marginalized as being hurtful and abusive because many people don't take the time to know us.
very true
You are marginalized because you DO tend to be abusive and hurtful.
I lived with my BPD brother for more than 25 years before cutting off contacts with him, he was abusive and to this day refuses to get treated.
Please seek help for this condition, for yourselves and other people as well.
PS: I developed AvPD since my main interactions during childhood were with him. But at least I'm getting treated and things are getting better. So please do the same