I just congratulate them. I have a coworker who lies daily. I reply “that’s awesome”, “congratulations”, “good for you”. I have energy for nothing else. I just want to work and go home. That alone consumes all of my energy.
That’s awesome is my favorite thing to say. And I say it so often, people don’t know if I’m being sincere or disingenuous. Take it how you want. That’s awesome!!! 😃
I’m at the age where my peace and sanity is more important than determining whether a lie is a lie. 💅🏾If somebody say 1+1=17 I’m like “if that’s how you view it, we gone roll with it” 🤷🏽♀️
I've been around ALOT of liars but my ex-husband was the one that baffled me. I would witness him lying to his family *all the time* for no reason. When I would call him out for lying about something we were talking/arguing about, he would get super mad about me "calling him a liar". He even broke up with me a couple times when we dated because I called him a liar. If you'll lie to your Moma, you'll lie to *ANYBODY* 🤷🏾♀️.
I have a relative who lies like her life depends on it. If she talking, she's lying. The baffling thing is she lies abt the most mundane things. Even when it a true occurrence, she will garnish it to make it more sensational. She's been that way for all her life.
My Mama taught me that if you lie, you’ll cheat, and if you cheat, you’ll steal and if you steal you’ll kill. Needless to say, I don’t fool with liars It’s the dangerous progression for me.
GIRL!!!!! I know sooooo many of us that say that. I say it so fast to a rhythm, you would've thought it was a hook to a song. I believe that to my core.
I like hearing how long the lie will go. Sometimes I act so interested & ask questions just to make them keep going just to see how interesting they can make a story up on the spot. Keeps them on their toes. 😅
How to deal with Petty Liars: 1. Evaluate how important that person is to you and your sanity at that time. 2. Decide if you want to call them out and use energy to hear them give a lying @$$ rebuttal. 3. Manage your Peace wisely. The only ones I stop in they tracks from lying to me are my children. And that's because I'm their Mother. It doesn't mean they dont try, but they know it isn't condoned over here. So it's at their own risk if they go down that road. As for everyone else, it depends. I always have the choice in not entertaining the fiction.
If there lie ain't hurting me and mine, I look at them crazy and walk away. I don't have the extra energy to dispense on other people who not worthy of my energy.
People thought my husband and I lied about our 6 kids. This was when we were in our twenties and he was a gamer/ military man. My kids were quiet and played in the play room or front room. We literally showed proof of them on cam one day. For years my friends have been asking me to write a book on how to keep so many kids quiet without threatening them. 🤔🤣🤣
@@chasehim3761 actually we stay to ourselves most of the time. There's nothing weird about it and we also didn't post pics of our kids online because ppl are stupid/weird. So we are a pretty private bunch. Also the friends I was speaking of are friends and family from other states, hence the "military/gamer" part, that had yet to meet our children. Wasn't speaking on ppl that see us everyday. Hell and even when speaking about them, because of how well behaved our kids are ppl still don't believe how many we have. 🤷🏾♀️
Lies are troubling, but what bothers me even more is a spirit of untruthfulness. Like someone might not be *technically* lying, but still misrepresenting themselves or a situation by omissions and putting a certain spin on it. :/
It depends on who's telling the lie if I call them out on it. If their lies are not affecting me, then I let them lie on. But if said lies affect me or anything connected to me, then I'm the "I thought you said" person because I'm calling them on it. 🤣🤣
That's me 100%..had to learn to take that stance.. instead of calling them out cause my intelligence felt insulted.. realized it took too much energy..as long as it does not affect me..I let them say the sky is green and I be like it sure is 😂
I thought you said just go es them the opportunity to take it to an abuse level and reply defensively, gaslighting you into the you're confused/you misunderstood/why would YOU lie about such a little thing just trying to make me look bad/your're crazy now too. Just don't. If you have to ask about you you already know the answer. It's never going to go away, you'll always second guess. Cut the cord. Let them find another source to stroke their fragile ego.
@@uplateagain687 I think I understand what your saying..and I partially agree and yes the easier thing to do is to just cut the cord especially in extreme cases such as romantic and familial..with history of truama , dysfunction, narcissism, etc..that is still toxic to you but sometimes their are relationships you can't or don't desire to fully cut off..you just learn how to withdraw your energy, continually cleanse yourself..and better protect the inner you..you will never be able to cut off everyone and everything.. isolation is not a healthy boundary..what is healthier is learning how to set your boundaries and how not to be so accessible and acceptable to the things people do and say..accept that people have bad behavior..they lie amongst other things.it's not always harmful or about you..some behaviors people have to workout within themselves and sadly some won't ever do the work..So if doesn't truly effect you..you don't have to involve yourself by lending your energy,peace or thoughts it them..just observe and if it's not deep..laugh cause some of these things are comical especially when you can recognize clearly what your hearing and seeing.
My brother is pathological, he is the “know it all” type, especially if someone else is an expert in the subject. You know it’s their job and the have a graduate degree in their occupation. But he knows 🙄 the subject better. He learned that crap from my mom. She taught him well. I don’t even respond, I just walk away once it starts. Whatever.
Do we have the same brother?!?!?! My brother is the EXACT same way. And, he can cry on cue to make his stories believable to people who dont know him.🙄🙄
@@myahb1065 YES🤣that crying on cue actually made me feel like laying my fist between his eyes. But I say nothing, use that strength of restraint. Nothing irks a narcissist more than no reaction at all.✊🏽
@@ShelbySteele23 People lie for 3 different reasons: 1. Sympathy, 2. Their truth looks inferior in their eyes, and 3. For material and/or financial gain.
I used to be that person that would call you out on a lie and would be racking my brain over your lie. Doing my due diligence to get to the bottom of that lie but I’ve learned over the years that it just ain’t worth it. They sleeping peacefully while I’m all disturbed about they lie! My ex husband lied day one of meeting me…noticed he’s ex husband. My peace and sanity tested to the fullest and they tried to leave me. I chose them…peace and sanity…and ppl wonder how I’m 52 looking like 25. I choose peace and sanity over drama every single time😁🍷🙏🏾
That's a great observation. People who lie about money and status are not the people who you want a deep truthful relationship with, so the best strategy is indeed to limit your interactions with them. It's just not worth your time.
I let them lie, my brother laughs at me because I always say “Oh that’s awesome” he knows that’s code for “ I don’t believe nor do I care about what you’re saying”.
I don't keep these people in my circle and limit their access to me. I had a friend like that. Always made it about herself and always "one-upped" me. It's not funny when you're in it but looking back I chuckle 😂
What I find fascinating is that people who you KNOW have lied many times usually believe everyone else lies just as much as they do. I’ve found it hard to have conversations with people like this because they tend to scrutinize everything a person says as if everything is a lie…even though they do it all the time! I don’t have the time or energy for the lies or accusations. ✌🏽
See, that makes sense to a Liar...BUT to Me, if for example saying they just bought a new SUV and they did NOT buy one (can't afford one) how does that keep the Liar "Ahead." In REALITY they do not have ANYTHING. I have always wondered how can a Liar have Self Esteem saying maybe, that they went to College and never even stepped foot in a College. I think that is Unique to a Habitual Liar to feel "Self Esteem" from a Lie.
When I have liars in my life who lie on me, I mainly put my boundaries on them and say nothing to them. Because in my experience if they lie on you, they will gaslight/manipulate you when you catch them or question them, and that will mess with my sanity. If I need help or am going through a problem because of them, I will talk to someone I know I can trust and who will listen and understand me. They can lie all they want but the only thing they showed me is exactly the kind of person that they are. And I keep extensive notes in my head and on paper reminding me of who they are and what they did.
I thing about people who habitually lie, I feel disrespected because that person thinks I’m either not worthy of being straight up with or they think I’m stupid. Then I get pissed off. That’s great advice just try to keep your distance from liars.
That's the way I feel about people who tell lies *about/on* me. That's one thing you DO NOT do! I get *super* pissed about that, especially if the lie is about something illegal.
That is what gets me as well. I say to myself often, "the audacity of this lying idiot thinking I'm as dumb as they are to believe the croc of ish that they are trying to feed me!!"
I saw a post on Fakebook the other day that said "you will never have peace if you confront everything you peep" and it honestly changed my entire life. As an empath and being highly intuitive, I've been the one to ALWAYS call out everything from changes in energy, to flat out lies and contradictions. NEVER AGAIN. Y'all got it.
Gurl you are speaking truth! Sometimes I check a liar cause I want them to know I'll embarrass them. Sometimes I let em roll cause the lie is so interesting!
I let people lie their heart out. I don’t have the energy to police adults. But I will never consider them as a friend, as they are unreliable as a flat tire.
My soon to be ex🤞🏽🙏🏽husband lies for absolutely no reason at all. One time I was out of state, my next door neighbors noticed that they hadn’t seen me and asked him about me. He acted like they were asking a trick question and told them that I was in the house. ???
I let people lie. Like my friend lied and said “eating a fruit pie was healthy and it was gone help her lose weight”. I know that’s a lie from the the pits of hell. But I said okay I’m proud of you.
The TIME is the key honey! I'll sit there and entertain a lie for entertainment when I got time but chileeeeeeee that is rarely. Ima have to tell a lie to get away from them. "Girl my unicorn just pulled up in my new custom rainbow Ferrari to pick me up! Let me call you back" 😪😪😪
One of my Siblings is a HABITUAL LIAR! I wrote that One a Letter and Mailed it to them saying that whenever they LIE in my Presence I will call them on it NO Matter who is around...THat Sibling does NOT lie around me anymore, however that Sibling is STILL spittin BIG Lies about Everything. Unfortunately, this Sibling made a WHOLE Career based on a GREAT Lie (Not a simple worked there on the Resume!), that's why I tell people when you hire someone CHECK Their CREDENTIALS!!!
I had a friend who exaggerated everything & straight up lied about alot of (what i would consider) little things. I used to "but I thought you said" in the beginning of our friendship but as time progressed and I just started hitting her with the "oh wow thats crazy". I stopped having the desire and the patience to keep up with her stories.
I’m dealing with this now. Even struggling with whether I’d consider this a friendship. Who wants to be friends with someone you can’t believe half the time?
I knew someone at school who did this. Once I realized the lies were at the pathological level, I stopped hanging around with that person, since the lies frequently involved planning activities.
I let them lie and I wait a few days to let them tell on themselves. From there, I know how to deal with them. EJ I've been trying to understand these lying people too.
OMG!!! This is a conversation that I’ve been having in my head!! I HATE liars!!! I have the honesty stick but I don’t want it anymore. If ppl want to lie to me….. like u said, what they are saying DOESN’T MATTER!!
My ex husband is that lying type. Will lie just because it's Tuesday. And on top of that, he was an "one-upper" type of liar too. I used to be so embarrassed when we would hang out with friends and he tell lies about our family. I just had to smile and go along with it. 🤦🏿♀️ afterwards, I would confront him and he would get defensive. When we divorced, he still continued to lie. I finally asked him: "aren't you tired of lying?" And again, he got defensive. At this point, I'm like you: I don't even have the energy to tell you, you're lying. I don't even care...
My brother does that to my sister in law and we're close so she comes back and tells me everything. It's so hurtful because we're his family and love him no matter what but for some reason he feels like he has to impress us with lies. Like dude who cares what yall have or don't. We're just happy to see you when you're home (he's military)
I despise a liar with every fiber of my being....like, it rocks my WHOLE soul. I used to confront lies with allllll the pettiness I could muster up. But now, I just silently shake my head. HOW-SOME-EVER....since I've been a supervisor in IL Dept of Child and Family Svcs, I have a staff member on my team who is just a raggedy liar. She's a procrastinator and lies about EVERYTHING work related. It drives me insane. So, I usually just combat her lies with receipts. Like...oh you were on the 9:30 conf call at 9:35? Here's the feedback log that says you joined the call at 10:03 and you stayed on for 17 minutes. Please make sure you're on time for the meeting next week.
Situations like this right here…need to be called out. You handled that right! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Keep them lies at home, not on the job where people’s lives are at stake. Kudos to you for your professionalism.
Are you secretly a psychotherapist, your question is deep and telling? I retired from honesty patrol on my 50th Birthday. When I think someone has lied to my face and I walk away confused, I arrest the nonsense with a prayer to my heavenly Father. "GOD, You know. If I need to, let me know the truth of them. (And I walk away).". It makes me sad people lie to me though, I feel they could do so much better for their mental hygiene. But I just limit my exposure to them, like you said.
My Girl: Where have you been? Why is there glitter on you? Why do you smell like a skank? Me: You ain't going believe this. My home boy stole a unicorn from the candy factory and he called me over because I had to see this. When a unicorn farts it's like a glitter bomb going off. After it farted the unicorn boo-booed skittles. We tasted the rainbow, caught a sugar high, we crashed and took a sugar induced nap. Here I'm covered and smelling like unicorn farts. My Girl: So you ain't gonna tell me you was at the strip club. Me: Nope! Since I am going to lie about it might as well make entertaining.
my favorite thing is when you crack yourself up 🤣🤣🤣 but yeah I don't have the energy to call people on their lies, I just know who not to have too conversations with lol
@Ejspeaks You said it. They are storytellers and it's all fables. Let them have their time in the lights. Apparently they are still not grown. They ain't reach maturity yet. Nobody has time for lie patrol duty. We out here trying to keep our sanity in these streets. Love your honesty. 😍
I worked with someone like that, I said I'm just making tuna melts for dinner... "her" I oil poach my own tuna that I got from Italy it cost 60 with gold flakes
Now I know that the question/subject is not about children lying, however, if we don't deal with our children when they lie....they can evolve into lying adults.
Grown adults become "watching" material when I know they lie; go ahead and lie--I'll keep it in mind. I refuse to parent anyone other than my children; my children lie and WTF eyebrows alone can cause backpedaling and entice the truth.
I enjoy the creativity and inconsistencies that habitual liars display. I talk trash about the lie (not the liar) to my husband. We sit back and let you talk and low-key throw honesty shade in conversation. People lie for no reason tat all! (I meant what I said "tat" all!) EJ, like you and your hubby, me and mine talk mad junk about people on the low. We love you AND we are like to best church biddies!
Girl, I can agree with u. It just stressful. I just try and protect my peace and do what I need too do. Because like u said. I don't want too go home to try and figure out why someone lied too me. When I'm so transparent.
I went to university in the Caribbean with a lady who had a medical issue. I would write lectures notes in greater detail, type & email to her. For accounting subjects we would meet & I would teach her. When the grades are posted she would call me snd say "You must be got an A+ because I got an A". Sometimes I got an A-, but the way she said it would be in a boasting tone. I graduated with "Upper 2nd Class Honours". The next year she graduated, I said you must be get "1st Class Honours" as her grades were always better than mine. She said no, she got "Lower 2nd Class Honours". I congratulated her. Since her grades always higher than mine, there's no way her honours could be lower than mine. She lied to make herself appear to be doing better. That was absolutely unnecessary. She ended up with a better paying job than I, and I am extremely proud of her.
I never call them on the lies anymore, unless they are besmirching somebody else, then I become Mrs. Ithoughtyousaid. But if they're fake enough to be entertaining, I just stand back. Like the lady who said she owns a castle in Scotland, but can't afford to go over there and claim it. 👏👏👏 Well played, castle lady.
I can’t tell you how much I needed this video after watching too much of the AH cross examination in the J. Depp court case..... watching that woman makes my face hurt and EJ’s little talk made me feel like I can breathe again. Thank you 🙏
You're right. It doesn't matter most of the time. I only call it out if it's hurting someone I care about. If it's just them bragging or exaggerating, I don't care. If they're lying to cover up fraud or infidelity, I will call it out.
My first husband was the President and CEO of the Liars Society. If his mouth was moving, he was lying...if he was awake, he was lying...shoot, he even talked lies in his sleep. He lied so much that he had ME questioning my own thoughts/dreams/validity. 🙄
Fortunately, I don't think the folks around me lie that often, but for some reason, I think they think I'm a liar! They often say things like, "Uh... I thought you were exaggeratin'!" or something like, "WOW, that happened just like you said!" I don't know what gave them the impression that I am liar! Maybe it is liar fallout from other folks! I learned when I was young boy that it is better not to lie and to go on and tell it like it is!
I have a similar problem. When I speak, it seems like people thinking I’m bullshtting or ignore my words entirely, almost to the point where I have to literally prove things to them or repeat myself several times until I’m listened to. Not even going to sweat it anymore, maybe it’s a sign from above that I just need to lay low and keep the info and things I know to myself. Stop putting in energy where it’s not appreciated or reciprocated
I cannot let a lie slip by me....it just gets under my skin that they think they can insult my intelligence....I mean I know I should shut up and keep it moving but no...if I was smart I would just save my energy like you EJ
If you're in my inner circle, I'm like your cousin: keeping myself & everybody accountable. If you can't be accountable, I take my distance; then you become my acquaintance. At that point, I don't care what you say.
I did date a guy once and actually married him thinking he was a Marine at one time but he never served a day he was a very big liar he told me a whole big old lie about his time in the Marines and my parents my Dad is a veteran his parents didn't live in the same state so I only met them later at his Brothers officer in the Army graduation and I not knowing said you must be so proud you have 2 sons that served this country she was like what no so and so never served she said you need to watch out with him he lies about what he had for breakfast to say the least we got divorced but he could sale vacuum cleaners to people with no carpet he was that good at lying
Here's a good technique for pathological liars looking to manipulate .. when someone like that lies, I maintain a stoic expression with a creepish amount of eye contact while remaining complete silent, subtley nodding, letting them exist in that reactionless void until they're so uncomfortable they start talking again, possibly trying to backpeddle or add more fictitious details to the lie, then I just move on with the conversation as normal. That uncomfortably plants a seed in the minds of manipulators, and they'll end up limiting interactions to small talk, or avoid speaking completely 🤣🤣 I find that this technique helps the trash to take itself out bahahaha!!!
Hi Ej!🤗... this is the perfect topic.... & the answer to this question is what I need to answer for myself.... my intuition is strong so when people lie to me I pick up on it immediately (For the most part)... sometimes 'I know you're lying" slips from my lips 💋 but not on purpose! Lol 😅 OMG! (Liars get so upset when you burst their bubble)So I stay away from people who lie often as much as I can & I'm learning not to take it personal bcuz a lot of liars hide the truth from themselves so how can I expect them to be honest with me.... an underlying issue or personal challenge with Liars is they are lacking or have very low self worth.... this can be healed but the person who's lying has to want to feel better about themselves & you have to be careful bcuz habitual Liars spend a lot of time trying to hide their true feelings... or trying to hide the real reason they are lying... & they try to accomplish this at any cost & to them it doesn't matter who gets hurt as long as their lie persists..... I'm not a professional I just have a lot of experience with Liars... I should have a degree in this stuff LMAO 🤣 😆🥰😘
I'm there with EJ. I do not have the energy to call out a lie. If the lie is not effecting my life or anyone that I love in a harmful manner, I just going say okay that's nice and move along.
I do not have energy to even dwell on it! Conclusively...OK then. I know for sure that the truth shall set you free so when you lie you tie yoself to that...essentially they are bound up and in bondage. I agree with you EJ.
I had to drop an old friend when the lies came out, and they came out in FORCE. I didn't even know where to start with the lies, so I approached a therapist about what to do. They suggested I ask them how they thought we could move forward.... and they went right back to lying. About me, about things that happened, about things that didn't, about my reputation. I had to go, but maybe some people can tolerate being lied about... to their face, lmao. Never thought people could be so cruel! Or delusional. It was truly incredible
Thank you EJ with your detect-a-lie-ometer!!!🤣Depending on the person, most I don't even bother to address unless it affects me personally but the last ex would lie when the truth would do 🤨 & a few of my challenges were: " your facts don't match" "that's not what you told me last time (& I never repeated what was said the last time 🤣)"...he said I'm afraid to tell you anything so I don't make a mistake "when telling the truth you don't need to worry about making a mistake!" & lastly, "Is that the story as you know it or what you'd like for me to believe?!"
It’s the conviction, devotion, and dedication with a dash of hardcore manipulation for me. In some situations, I allow the lying especially when it’s a good lie. I had the pleasure of being a main character in a scandalous convoluted lie, it was juicy and much more interesting than my truth. 😜🤣😂
Dated a liar and someone who was always quick to blame everyone before looking in the minor at himself first and taking accountability for his actions. He loved to twist his wrongs and turn it on someone else. Like EJ said we have to protect our peace. I loved him but my peace of mind was something I realized I had to protect and my sanity lol dealing with a liar is not easy. It's like having a full-time job that I didn't get paid for and I didn't apply for lol very draining emotionally. I realize that yes relationships are work, however you should not be uncomfortable, and accepting everything especially if it starts taking you outside of your character. Liars lie so much they start believing themselves and it's truly sad. Leave and keep your peace. God will ALWAYS restore what man has attempted to steal and deplete.
I let them Lie in peace! I try to avoid them. I chuckle to myself and lowkey judge them😁😁😁 My experience has mainly been with coworkers who lie. Once I leave for the day I'm good.
I just congratulate them. I have a coworker who lies daily. I reply “that’s awesome”, “congratulations”, “good for you”. I have energy for nothing else. I just want to work and go home. That alone consumes all of my energy.
That’s awesome is my favorite thing to say. And I say it so often, people don’t know if I’m being sincere or disingenuous. Take it how you want. That’s awesome!!! 😃
Yes! I just wanna go home…it’s too tiring, trying to dissect and inspect a lie.
😂😂
@kenyahampton if this ain’t a whole word. Lol I’m just tryna make it back home.
🙂
I’m at the age where my peace and sanity is more important than determining whether a lie is a lie. 💅🏾If somebody say 1+1=17 I’m like “if that’s how you view it, we gone roll with it” 🤷🏽♀️
Smh thats just stupid🙄🙄🙄
GIRL!!! I don’t argue with adults! You could be wrong as 2 left shoes, I’m going to let you do you boo!
That must be that NEW math
@@erikabowers7827 Hi Erika. I thought I was the only one saying "wrong as two left shoes" I never hear or see this phrase. Glad I have company. 🙂
Right. At my age, I don’t have time to dissect conversation in order to find a truth that’s not affecting me.
I let liars lie. It’s an addiction to them. I don’t waste time disputing liars and braggers.
Babeeee... I'm not chasing nobody lie, because 10/10 times the liars believe their own lies and are flabbergasted that you don't!
FLABBERGASTED! 😆
Omg I had ex boyfriend like this! When I broke up with him, everyone didn’t understand why. Like hello!!! His whole life is a lie!!!!
Facts!
🤣🤣🤣
The “one-uppers.” These are the type of people I purposely avoid. They’re deeply insecure! Finding truth in the lies they’ve told, humors me!🤡
Amen!
Good point
This
Me too😂😂😂
Soooo many ppl are like that 🤦🏾
Shoutout to EJ for the consistency and the laughs we’ve been getting, especially when she laughs at herself 🙌🏽😂
Be blessed ✨
True! True! True! I just need some more Mama and Miss Jackie tho!
@@n7y8c7 Absolutely! A Miss Jackie video once a week would be amazing 🤗
I've been around ALOT of liars but my ex-husband was the one that baffled me. I would witness him lying to his family *all the time* for no reason. When I would call him out for lying about something we were talking/arguing about, he would get super mad about me "calling him a liar". He even broke up with me a couple times when we dated because I called him a liar. If you'll lie to your Moma, you'll lie to *ANYBODY* 🤷🏾♀️.
You are the first person I’ve ever heard say that last part besides me.
Preach!!!!
@@gymeni Shoot...It's the truth and you know it. I have always said it, and people would look at me with a funny look and then knod their heads.
-But you still married him….-
@@kissit012 Life is complicated. Thank you for your unnecessary comment.
I have a relative who lies like her life depends on it. If she talking, she's lying. The baffling thing is she lies abt the most mundane things. Even when it a true occurrence, she will garnish it to make it more sensational. She's been that way for all her life.
We may have the same relative💯🤣🤣🤣
I have several relatives like that. I don’t even bother with them any more 🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤣 I’m too old.
Garnish and sensational sent me 😂😂😂
Awww bless her heart. Smh
I had to look at your name and pic bc you just described my older sister to the T!!! #heyfam 😳😂😱
My Mama taught me that if you lie, you’ll cheat, and if you cheat, you’ll steal and if you steal you’ll kill.
Needless to say, I don’t fool with liars It’s the dangerous progression for me.
Right on sis! I say that ALL the time!
GIRL!!!!! I know sooooo many of us that say that. I say it so fast to a rhythm, you would've thought it was a hook to a song.
I believe that to my core.
@@MsCasstastic lol @ a hook.
Yes! My mama said that, too. It's from the Bible. Jesus said, the devil lies, steals, and kills.
I like hearing how long the lie will go. Sometimes I act so interested & ask questions just to make them keep going just to see how interesting they can make a story up on the spot. Keeps them on their toes. 😅
😆
😅😅😅
Same
I'll admit. I've done this with dates.😂
😂😂😂
How to deal with Petty Liars:
1. Evaluate how important that person is to you and your sanity at that time.
2. Decide if you want to call them out and use energy to hear them give a lying @$$ rebuttal.
3. Manage your Peace wisely.
The only ones I stop in they tracks from lying to me are my children. And that's because I'm their Mother. It doesn't mean they dont try, but they know it isn't condoned over here. So it's at their own risk if they go down that road. As for everyone else, it depends. I always have the choice in not entertaining the fiction.
Exactly
THIS!!!!! 😒😒 And my son is TERRIBLE at it but is insistent on trying right now 😤😤😤 #IveGotATeenBoy
Amen
This the one right here…
This is wisdom right here. Every single word Sis.
I live by “People are in your life for a reason, for a season or a lifetime”. I keep it moving. ✌️🏾
My favorite poem and saying! I live by this too!!!
I truly, truly believe this and have said it regularly....
mic drop
If there lie ain't hurting me and mine, I look at them crazy and walk away. I don't have the extra energy to dispense on other people who not worthy of my energy.
People thought my husband and I lied about our 6 kids. This was when we were in our twenties and he was a gamer/ military man. My kids were quiet and played in the play room or front room. We literally showed proof of them on cam one day. For years my friends have been asking me to write a book on how to keep so many kids quiet without threatening them. 🤔🤣🤣
I would buy that book! Don’t miss your blessing, Sis!
Set that book out sis lmao 😂 parents need it
Respect
That's kinda weird ....Why'd you have to show a cam? Aren't they outside or with you guys sometimes??
@@chasehim3761 actually we stay to ourselves most of the time. There's nothing weird about it and we also didn't post pics of our kids online because ppl are stupid/weird. So we are a pretty private bunch. Also the friends I was speaking of are friends and family from other states, hence the "military/gamer" part, that had yet to meet our children. Wasn't speaking on ppl that see us everyday. Hell and even when speaking about them, because of how well behaved our kids are ppl still don't believe how many we have. 🤷🏾♀️
Lies are troubling, but what bothers me even more is a spirit of untruthfulness. Like someone might not be *technically* lying, but still misrepresenting themselves or a situation by omissions and putting a certain spin on it. :/
I just scream LIER real fast. I started doing that when my boys were teenagers. Cause don't nobody lie like teenagers.
Ohhhh I’m tickled.
It depends on who's telling the lie if I call them out on it. If their lies are not affecting me, then I let them lie on. But if said lies affect me or anything connected to me, then I'm the "I thought you said" person because I'm calling them on it. 🤣🤣
That's me 100%..had to learn to take that stance.. instead of calling them out cause my intelligence felt insulted.. realized it took too much energy..as long as it does not affect me..I let them say the sky is green and I be like it sure is 😂
@@Ms.LoveJones 🤣🤣
I thought you said just go es them the opportunity to take it to an abuse level and reply defensively, gaslighting you into the you're confused/you misunderstood/why would YOU lie about such a little thing just trying to make me look bad/your're crazy now too.
Just don't. If you have to ask about you you already know the answer. It's never going to go away, you'll always second guess. Cut the cord. Let them find another source to stroke their fragile ego.
@@uplateagain687 I think I understand what your saying..and I partially agree and yes the easier thing to do is to just cut the cord especially in extreme cases such as romantic and familial..with history of truama , dysfunction, narcissism, etc..that is still toxic to you but sometimes their are relationships you can't or don't desire to fully cut off..you just learn how to withdraw your energy, continually cleanse yourself..and better protect the inner you..you will never be able to cut off everyone and everything.. isolation is not a healthy boundary..what is healthier is learning how to set your boundaries and how not to be so accessible and acceptable to the things people do and say..accept that people have bad behavior..they lie amongst other things.it's not always harmful or about you..some behaviors people have to workout within themselves and sadly some won't ever do the work..So if doesn't truly effect you..you don't have to involve yourself by lending your energy,peace or thoughts it them..just observe and if it's not deep..laugh cause some of these things are comical especially when you can recognize clearly what your hearing and seeing.
THIS!
My brother is pathological, he is the “know it all” type, especially if someone else is an expert in the subject. You know it’s their job and the have a graduate degree in their occupation. But he knows 🙄 the subject better. He learned that crap from my mom. She taught him well. I don’t even respond, I just walk away once it starts. Whatever.
Do we have the same brother?!?!?! My brother is the EXACT same way. And, he can cry on cue to make his stories believable to people who dont know him.🙄🙄
@@myahb1065 YES🤣that crying on cue actually made me feel like laying my fist between his eyes. But I say nothing, use that strength of restraint. Nothing irks a narcissist more than no reaction at all.✊🏽
But why are they like this? Wtf happened that make people lie for absolutely no reason 😫😫😫
@@ShelbySteele23 People lie for 3 different reasons: 1. Sympathy, 2. Their truth looks inferior in their eyes, and 3. For material and/or financial gain.
I feel like Ms. Jackie would call them out every time!
I used to be that person that would call you out on a lie and would be racking my brain over your lie. Doing my due diligence to get to the bottom of that lie but I’ve learned over the years that it just ain’t worth it. They sleeping peacefully while I’m all disturbed about they lie! My ex husband lied day one of meeting me…noticed he’s ex husband. My peace and sanity tested to the fullest and they tried to leave me. I chose them…peace and sanity…and ppl wonder how I’m 52 looking like 25. I choose peace and sanity over drama every single time😁🍷🙏🏾
That's a great observation. People who lie about money and status are not the people who you want a deep truthful relationship with, so the best strategy is indeed to limit your interactions with them. It's just not worth your time.
I let them lie, my brother laughs at me because I always say “Oh that’s awesome” he knows that’s code for “ I don’t believe nor do I care about what you’re saying”.
I don't keep these people in my circle and limit their access to me. I had a friend like that. Always made it about herself and always "one-upped" me. It's not funny when you're in it but looking back I chuckle 😂
What I find fascinating is that people who you KNOW have lied many times usually believe everyone else lies just as much as they do. I’ve found it hard to have conversations with people like this because they tend to scrutinize everything a person says as if everything is a lie…even though they do it all the time!
I don’t have the time or energy for the lies or accusations. ✌🏽
Yes indeed. That is narcissistic psychopathy. It is their skewed minds way of absolving them from the guilt of being a damned liar.
If the lie doesn't influence, damage or hurt your life, don't bother.
It’s just that my lie detector senses are so strong when I detect the lie in the story I’ve immediately checked out 😳
It depends on what they are lying about or on who.
This is way too on point because some people do this, to stay ahead of people they see as potential threats‼️🏆👉🏽👨🏽♐️💪🏽
See, that makes sense to a Liar...BUT to Me, if for example saying they just bought a new SUV and they did NOT buy one (can't afford one) how does that keep the Liar "Ahead." In REALITY they do not have ANYTHING. I have always wondered how can a Liar have Self Esteem saying maybe, that they went to College and never even stepped foot in a College. I think that is Unique to a Habitual Liar to feel "Self Esteem" from a Lie.
Especially in the work place
When I have liars in my life who lie on me, I mainly put my boundaries on them and say nothing to them. Because in my experience if they lie on you, they will gaslight/manipulate you when you catch them or question them, and that will mess with my sanity. If I need help or am going through a problem because of them, I will talk to someone I know I can trust and who will listen and understand me. They can lie all they want but the only thing they showed me is exactly the kind of person that they are. And I keep extensive notes in my head and on paper reminding me of who they are and what they did.
I thing about people who habitually lie, I feel disrespected because that person thinks I’m either not worthy of being straight up with or they think I’m stupid. Then I get pissed off. That’s great advice just try to keep your distance from liars.
That's the way I feel about people who tell lies *about/on* me. That's one thing you DO NOT do! I get *super* pissed about that, especially if the lie is about something illegal.
That is what gets me as well. I say to myself often, "the audacity of this lying idiot thinking I'm as dumb as they are to believe the croc of ish that they are trying to feed me!!"
I saw a post on Fakebook the other day that said "you will never have peace if you confront everything you peep" and it honestly changed my entire life. As an empath and being highly intuitive, I've been the one to ALWAYS call out everything from changes in energy, to flat out lies and contradictions.
NEVER AGAIN. Y'all got it.
I find it best to just let the One Upper Liar lie. Your peace is more important
Gurl you are speaking truth! Sometimes I check a liar cause I want them to know I'll embarrass them. Sometimes I let em roll cause the lie is so interesting!
I let people lie their heart out. I don’t have the energy to police adults. But I will never consider them as a friend, as they are unreliable as a flat tire.
😂
My soon to be ex🤞🏽🙏🏽husband lies for absolutely no reason at all. One time I was out of state, my next door neighbors noticed that they hadn’t seen me and asked him about me. He acted like they were asking a trick question and told them that I was in the house. ???
I call them out after the lie to see if they’ll lie again after catching their lie 👀🤷🏾
I let people lie. Like my friend lied and said “eating a fruit pie was healthy and it was gone help her lose weight”. I know that’s a lie from the the pits of hell. But I said okay I’m proud of you.
😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
🤣😂🤣😂
IM ON THE FLOOR!!!😂😂😂
“Liars be lying” I like that one, that’s the new motto 😂🤣
I have a friend like that🤦🏾♀️ lie for no reason..🤦🏾♀️
The TIME is the key honey! I'll sit there and entertain a lie for entertainment when I got time but chileeeeeeee that is rarely. Ima have to tell a lie to get away from them. "Girl my unicorn just pulled up in my new custom rainbow Ferrari to pick me up! Let me call you back" 😪😪😪
One of my Siblings is a HABITUAL LIAR! I wrote that One a Letter and Mailed it to them saying that whenever they LIE in my Presence I will call them on it NO Matter who is around...THat Sibling does NOT lie around me anymore, however that Sibling is STILL spittin BIG Lies about Everything. Unfortunately, this Sibling made a WHOLE Career based on a GREAT Lie (Not a simple worked there on the Resume!), that's why I tell people when you hire someone CHECK Their CREDENTIALS!!!
I had a friend who exaggerated everything & straight up lied about alot of (what i would consider) little things. I used to "but I thought you said" in the beginning of our friendship but as time progressed and I just started hitting her with the "oh wow thats crazy". I stopped having the desire and the patience to keep up with her stories.
"Oh wow thats crazy." It be like that sometimes. 😂🤣🤣
I’m dealing with this now. Even struggling with whether I’d consider this a friendship. Who wants to be friends with someone you can’t believe half the time?
I knew someone at school who did this. Once I realized the lies were at the pathological level, I stopped hanging around with that person, since the lies frequently involved planning activities.
I let them lie and I wait a few days to let them tell on themselves. From there, I know how to deal with them. EJ I've been trying to understand these lying people too.
Let they asses lie and keep my peace. But my remember your lie and what you said game if impeccable. I don't forget NOTHING LOL! LOVE YOU EJ!
OMG!!! This is a conversation that I’ve been having in my head!! I HATE liars!!! I have the honesty stick but I don’t want it anymore. If ppl want to lie to me….. like u said, what they are saying DOESN’T MATTER!!
My ex husband is that lying type. Will lie just because it's Tuesday. And on top of that, he was an "one-upper" type of liar too. I used to be so embarrassed when we would hang out with friends and he tell lies about our family. I just had to smile and go along with it. 🤦🏿♀️ afterwards, I would confront him and he would get defensive.
When we divorced, he still continued to lie. I finally asked him: "aren't you tired of lying?" And again, he got defensive. At this point, I'm like you: I don't even have the energy to tell you, you're lying. I don't even care...
My brother does that to my sister in law and we're close so she comes back and tells me everything. It's so hurtful because we're his family and love him no matter what but for some reason he feels like he has to impress us with lies. Like dude who cares what yall have or don't. We're just happy to see you when you're home (he's military)
I simply walk away.
it halfway to 2023.aint nobody got time to figure out lies and truth.we ain't lawyers.not our job
I despise a liar with every fiber of my being....like, it rocks my WHOLE soul. I used to confront lies with allllll the pettiness I could muster up. But now, I just silently shake my head. HOW-SOME-EVER....since I've been a supervisor in IL Dept of Child and Family Svcs, I have a staff member on my team who is just a raggedy liar. She's a procrastinator and lies about EVERYTHING work related. It drives me insane. So, I usually just combat her lies with receipts. Like...oh you were on the 9:30 conf call at 9:35? Here's the feedback log that says you joined the call at 10:03 and you stayed on for 17 minutes. Please make sure you're on time for the meeting next week.
Situations like this right here…need to be called out. You handled that right! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Keep them lies at home, not on the job where people’s lives are at stake. Kudos to you for your professionalism.
@@tamaradebose that's why it angers me so much....because it can negatively impact children and families.
That's sad to get in that profession & lie like that. Where's the compassion for the children? Has that person been there for years?
@@tayahsting7157 thankfully NO.. just 3. And if it's up to me, it won't be 3 more.
@@sherliciagrizzard3746 Good for you! My cousin recently start working for cps. And she's super focused & aspires to be in management etc
It depends on the lie
Only if it affects me or my job...otherwise...lie away!
Are you secretly a psychotherapist, your question is deep and telling? I retired from honesty patrol on my 50th Birthday. When I think someone has lied to my face and I walk away confused, I arrest the nonsense with a prayer to my heavenly Father. "GOD, You know. If I need to, let me know the truth of them. (And I walk away).".
It makes me sad people lie to me though, I feel they could do so much better for their mental hygiene. But I just limit my exposure to them, like you said.
Not the unicorn that farts and sprinkles out glitter😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭 Let them liars keep providing comedy...the laughs BE being needed frfr...😂😂😂😂
My Girl: Where have you been? Why is there glitter on you? Why do you smell like a skank?
Me: You ain't going believe this. My home boy stole a unicorn from the candy factory and he called me over because I had to see this. When a unicorn farts it's like a glitter bomb going off. After it farted the unicorn boo-booed skittles. We tasted the rainbow, caught a sugar high, we crashed and took a sugar induced nap. Here I'm covered and smelling like unicorn farts.
My Girl: So you ain't gonna tell me you was at the strip club.
Me: Nope! Since I am going to lie about it might as well make entertaining.
my favorite thing is when you crack yourself up 🤣🤣🤣 but yeah I don't have the energy to call people on their lies, I just know who not to have too conversations with lol
I used to call people out on their BS, but I decided to keep my peace & use my energy for better things.
@Ejspeaks You said it. They are storytellers and it's all fables. Let them have their time in the lights. Apparently they are still not grown. They ain't reach maturity yet. Nobody has time for lie patrol duty. We out here trying to keep our sanity in these streets. Love your honesty. 😍
I worked with someone like that, I said I'm just making tuna melts for dinner... "her" I oil poach my own tuna that I got from Italy it cost 60 with gold flakes
Now I know that the question/subject is not about children lying, however, if we don't deal with our children when they lie....they can evolve into lying adults.
Grown adults become "watching" material when I know they lie; go ahead and lie--I'll keep it in mind. I refuse to parent anyone other than my children; my children lie and WTF eyebrows alone can cause backpedaling and entice the truth.
I do both....the honesty stick comes out with family. Everybody else is free to speak "their truth"
I enjoy the creativity and inconsistencies that habitual liars display. I talk trash about the lie (not the liar) to my husband. We sit back and let you talk and low-key throw honesty shade in conversation. People lie for no reason tat all! (I meant what I said "tat" all!) EJ, like you and your hubby, me and mine talk mad junk about people on the low. We love you AND we are like to best church biddies!
I just go with the flow. I had a supervisor that lied about EVERYTHING. Just ridiculous.🙄
Girl, I can agree with u. It just stressful. I just try and protect my peace and do what I need too do. Because like u said. I don't want too go home to try and figure out why someone lied too me. When I'm so transparent.
Hi EJ and people! I just live my life and let them live theirs. I do limit my time around liars and do not say anything. Focusing on the good things.
I call them out sometimes and sometimes I just smh 🤦. Lies are rooted in insecurities
Oh EJ you spoke truth right here!!! I let them lie I don’t have time or energy..
I went to university in the Caribbean with a lady who had a medical issue. I would write lectures notes in greater detail, type & email to her. For accounting subjects we would meet & I would teach her. When the grades are posted she would call me snd say "You must be got an A+ because I got an A". Sometimes I got an A-, but the way she said it would be in a boasting tone.
I graduated with "Upper 2nd Class Honours". The next year she graduated, I said you must be get "1st Class Honours" as her grades were always better than mine. She said no, she got "Lower 2nd Class Honours".
I congratulated her. Since her grades always higher than mine, there's no way her honours could be lower than mine. She lied to make herself appear to be doing better. That was absolutely unnecessary. She ended up with a better paying job than I, and I am extremely proud of her.
I never call them on the lies anymore, unless they are besmirching somebody else, then I become Mrs. Ithoughtyousaid.
But if they're fake enough to be entertaining, I just stand back. Like the lady who said she owns a castle in Scotland, but can't afford to go over there and claim it. 👏👏👏 Well played, castle lady.
So true! Lie all you want, as long as it doesn’t impact me or my family…do you boo!
I can’t tell you how much I needed this video after watching too much of the AH cross examination in the J. Depp court case..... watching that woman makes my face hurt and EJ’s little talk made me feel like I can breathe again. Thank you 🙏
I gotta keep asking questions till shit make sense 😂
This is me! 😂
You're right. It doesn't matter most of the time.
I only call it out if it's hurting someone I care about. If it's just them bragging or exaggerating, I don't care. If they're lying to cover up fraud or infidelity, I will call it out.
My first husband was the President and CEO of the Liars Society. If his mouth was moving, he was lying...if he was awake, he was lying...shoot, he even talked lies in his sleep. He lied so much that he had ME questioning my own thoughts/dreams/validity. 🙄
Currently 😞
Girl we may have been married to the same man😂
That first sentence took me OUT. 🤣
Me too Sis! Just lying to lie!
Girl, you slayed me about your comment on your 1st husband. 🤪🤪🤪🤣🤣🤣🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️👏🏽
Fortunately, I don't think the folks around me lie that often, but for some reason, I think they think I'm a liar! They often say things like, "Uh... I thought you were exaggeratin'!" or something like, "WOW, that happened just like you said!" I don't know what gave them the impression that I am liar! Maybe it is liar fallout from other folks! I learned when I was young boy that it is better not to lie and to go on and tell it like it is!
I have a similar problem. When I speak, it seems like people thinking I’m bullshtting or ignore my words entirely, almost to the point where I have to literally prove things to them or repeat myself several times until I’m listened to. Not even going to sweat it anymore, maybe it’s a sign from above that I just need to lay low and keep the info and things I know to myself. Stop putting in energy where it’s not appreciated or reciprocated
I cannot let a lie slip by me....it just gets under my skin that they think they can insult my intelligence....I mean I know I should shut up and keep it moving but no...if I was smart I would just save my energy like you EJ
I be knowing I just agree with them and tell them to keep praying
I always just stare at them silently and don’t say a word until they change the subject 😂
If you're in my inner circle, I'm like your cousin: keeping myself & everybody accountable. If you can't be accountable, I take my distance; then you become my acquaintance. At that point, I don't care what you say.
I did date a guy once and actually married him thinking he was a Marine at one time but he never served a day he was a very big liar he told me a whole big old lie about his time in the Marines and my parents my Dad is a veteran his parents didn't live in the same state so I only met them later at his Brothers officer in the Army graduation and I not knowing said you must be so proud you have 2 sons that served this country she was like what no so and so never served she said you need to watch out with him he lies about what he had for breakfast to say the least we got divorced but he could sale vacuum cleaners to people with no carpet he was that good at lying
😂😂🤣😂
Here's a good technique for pathological liars looking to manipulate .. when someone like that lies, I maintain a stoic expression with a creepish amount of eye contact while remaining complete silent, subtley nodding, letting them exist in that reactionless void until they're so uncomfortable they start talking again, possibly trying to backpeddle or add more fictitious details to the lie, then I just move on with the conversation as normal. That uncomfortably plants a seed in the minds of manipulators, and they'll end up limiting interactions to small talk, or avoid speaking completely 🤣🤣 I find that this technique helps the trash to take itself out bahahaha!!!
I love it!! 🤣
Perfect response 👌
Hi Ej!🤗... this is the perfect topic.... & the answer to this question is what I need to answer for myself.... my intuition is strong so when people lie to me I pick up on it immediately (For the most part)... sometimes 'I know you're lying" slips from my lips 💋 but not on purpose! Lol 😅 OMG! (Liars get so upset when you burst their bubble)So I stay away from people who lie often as much as I can & I'm learning not to take it personal bcuz a lot of liars hide the truth from themselves so how can I expect them to be honest with me.... an underlying issue or personal challenge with Liars is they are lacking or have very low self worth.... this can be healed but the person who's lying has to want to feel better about themselves & you have to be careful bcuz habitual Liars spend a lot of time trying to hide their true feelings... or trying to hide the real reason they are lying... & they try to accomplish this at any cost & to them it doesn't matter who gets hurt as long as their lie persists..... I'm not a professional I just have a lot of experience with Liars... I should have a degree in this stuff LMAO 🤣 😆🥰😘
Right. I limit myself around them.
I'm there with EJ. I do not have the energy to call out a lie. If the lie is not effecting my life or anyone that I love in a harmful manner, I just going say okay that's nice and move along.
Yes to boundaries!!!
I do not have energy to even dwell on it! Conclusively...OK then. I know for sure that the truth shall set you free so when you lie you tie yoself to that...essentially they are bound up and in bondage. I agree with you EJ.
I had to drop an old friend when the lies came out, and they came out in FORCE. I didn't even know where to start with the lies, so I approached a therapist about what to do. They suggested I ask them how they thought we could move forward.... and they went right back to lying. About me, about things that happened, about things that didn't, about my reputation. I had to go, but maybe some people can tolerate being lied about... to their face, lmao. Never thought people could be so cruel! Or delusional. It was truly incredible
I immediately call them out. If I do that, they'll usually take all future lies elsewhere.
Thank you EJ with your detect-a-lie-ometer!!!🤣Depending on the person, most I don't even bother to address unless it affects me personally but the last ex would lie when the truth would do 🤨 & a few of my challenges were: " your facts don't match" "that's not what you told me last time (& I never repeated what was said the last time 🤣)"...he said I'm afraid to tell you anything so I don't make a mistake "when telling the truth you don't need to worry about making a mistake!" & lastly, "Is that the story as you know it or what you'd like for me to believe?!"
I’m definitely the “I thought you said” person 😂😆 but you know what I’m aspiring to be like you EJ cuz babbbyyy
Protect your peace no one has time for it , no one !
Amen keep your peace
EJ, I Love your whole face!!!! But I’m jealous of your eye color!! Thanks so much for continuing to bring joy and laughter to my day!!!
Ha ha ha just let them lie...no need to waste your time and energy
I listen to them and then me and my husband use the lies for our amusement. 😂😂
It’s the conviction, devotion, and dedication with a dash of hardcore manipulation for me.
In some situations, I allow the lying especially when it’s a good lie. I had the pleasure of being a main character in a scandalous convoluted lie, it was juicy and much more interesting than my truth.
😜🤣😂
Dated a liar and someone who was always quick to blame everyone before looking in the minor at himself first and taking accountability for his actions. He loved to twist his wrongs and turn it on someone else. Like EJ said we have to protect our peace. I loved him but my peace of mind was something I realized I had to protect and my sanity lol dealing with a liar is not easy. It's like having a full-time job that I didn't get paid for and I didn't apply for lol very draining emotionally. I realize that yes relationships are work, however you should not be uncomfortable, and accepting everything especially if it starts taking you outside of your character. Liars lie so much they start believing themselves and it's truly sad. Leave and keep your peace. God will ALWAYS restore what man has attempted to steal and deplete.
It was a narcissist. I am so glad you got away from that demon!
I AIN'T GOT THE TIME to call them out!!! My Silence is my life detector!!!
I just get so interested I start asking logical questions, the subject will eventually change and those lies usually stop coming up.
On point Ms EJ what you going to lie for being an adult you don't have to prove yourself to anyone just live your best life and be you
I let them Lie in peace! I try to avoid them. I chuckle to myself and lowkey judge them😁😁😁 My experience has mainly been with coworkers who lie. Once I leave for the day I'm good.
Yes. If you have told insignificant lies to me before, I won’t waste conversation with you. I’ll just wave hello to you as I walk on by.