Ploughman's Lunch | Ashens

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  • Опубліковано 30 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @MrGeremyTibbles
    @MrGeremyTibbles 10 років тому +809

    Those onions are packaged like they're an accessory for an action figure or something.

    • @KBV1497
      @KBV1497 5 років тому +63

      The fiddly bits of a lego set

    • @emzetkin1100
      @emzetkin1100 5 років тому +22

      That is exactly the kind of package that Warhammer bases come in.

    • @kristopherpoulsen653
      @kristopherpoulsen653 4 роки тому +22

      A sure sign of quality

    • @tweezerjam
      @tweezerjam 4 роки тому +6

      Nicely done 😂

    • @LehySnek
      @LehySnek 4 роки тому +5

      Spot on

  • @bicolouredprawn
    @bicolouredprawn 8 років тому +599

    That has to be one of the most depressing items of food in existence.

    • @gunfuego
      @gunfuego 8 років тому +46

      nope frozen thanksgiving dinner is................. right next to canned Christmas dinner...................

    • @kiwisparkle1014
      @kiwisparkle1014 8 років тому +17

      Welp that's just as depressing as that sad onion (;-;)

    • @LewisBGA
      @LewisBGA 4 роки тому +2

      It's actually really nice. I buy jacobs crackers, laughing cow cheese and pickled onions to make them myself

    • @bicolouredprawn
      @bicolouredprawn 4 роки тому +12

      @@LewisBGA I'm sure your homemade ploughman's lunch is infinitely better than this!

    • @peterclarke7240
      @peterclarke7240 4 роки тому

      @@LewisBGA You need to try the packet version- I'm not sure what they've done to all three food types, but I can personally attest if you bought the tesco value version of all three, they'd taste better than what you get in those weird little bags of processed cow puss, cardboard and pickled fish testes.

  • @ravenlorans
    @ravenlorans 10 років тому +685

    This Package Contains 3 Sad Onions. So not for children under 3.

    • @Riverstyx197
      @Riverstyx197 10 років тому +61

      Or children under any age. Or people in general.

    • @RossOriginals
      @RossOriginals 10 років тому +10

      Oh man, that's the funniest comment I've seen on this whole page, made me laugh, thanks for that.

    • @ravenlorans
      @ravenlorans 10 років тому +5

      ***** I was surprised no one else picked up on the 3 Sad Onions.

    • @SuperDarthKelly
      @SuperDarthKelly 10 років тому +1

      aww I was going to comment on the three sad onions

    • @koolkid986
      @koolkid986 10 років тому +1

      Can someone explain this joke? seriously lost

  • @somedingi
    @somedingi 10 років тому +344

    This package contains 0-3 sad onions

    • @Stuff8522
      @Stuff8522 10 років тому +10

      Damnit! I was gonna say that!

    • @bitterlemonboy
      @bitterlemonboy 3 роки тому +4

      They always contain 0 sad onions except for the one on the packaging

  • @05Rudey
    @05Rudey 9 років тому +500

    More like a Ploughman's light snack.

    • @Troy-pl4xr
      @Troy-pl4xr 8 років тому +57

      +05Rudey Ploughman's Appendicitis

    • @ducis3446
      @ducis3446 8 років тому +37

      +Troy Ploughman's Boutlism

    • @AlisonBryen
      @AlisonBryen 8 років тому +25

      Ploughman's Peritonitis

    • @coreytrevor1920
      @coreytrevor1920 5 років тому +13

      Can you imagine this being your meal for lunch

    • @kristopherpoulsen653
      @kristopherpoulsen653 4 роки тому +4

      Ploughman's Lunchable

  • @KomanderKrispy
    @KomanderKrispy 9 років тому +158

    those pickled onions look like the replacement rubber ear tips that come with earphones

  • @artrosemedia353
    @artrosemedia353 10 років тому +110

    "What is this? Looks like something that fell out of a skeletons' underpants." Lol. Ashens has the most original sense of humor.

  • @captainweekend5276
    @captainweekend5276 9 років тому +241

    This looks like something you'd get on an easy jet flight and pay £5 for, either that or it's what you get when they advertise a "free meal".

    • @peterclarke7240
      @peterclarke7240 4 роки тому +1

      @Jimmy The whole experience is carefully crafted to make you feel like an abject failure of a human anyway, so you might as well go balls-deep.

  • @burns1168
    @burns1168 10 років тому +153

    "Happy cow, look how happy he/she is"
    Maybe that's the problem, can't imagine the cheese that comes from a bull is very good.

  • @TheLonelyGoomba
    @TheLonelyGoomba 10 років тому +551

    More cheese Gromit? "No thanks"

    • @K4RN4GE911
      @K4RN4GE911 10 років тому +70

      More like:
      "More cheese, Gromit?"
      O_O *shakes head*

    • @postaldudemcdude6192
      @postaldudemcdude6192 10 років тому +4

      *****
      I don't know man, I'd be careful, recent internet learnings have shown otherwise.

    • @yoshimansxl
      @yoshimansxl 10 років тому

      Happily not available in mushroom kingdom. Although the goomba lunch seems ehm only for goombas.. -The Xianghua'ist.

    • @alechuntsman9524
      @alechuntsman9524 10 років тому +17

      *****
      you dont even know what autism is do you?

    • @BigBomko
      @BigBomko 10 років тому +14

      *****
      You did not understand correctly. What he/she was trying to say was that, instead of just saying "No.", Grommit would shake his head, horrified at the processed piece of crap that was that cheese.

  • @SuperLuigisWorld
    @SuperLuigisWorld 10 років тому +675

    sad onions in crap food
    i think we just went full circle

    • @donkyleone
      @donkyleone 10 років тому +13

      dont start breaking the fourth wall on me now lol

    • @ThePlayfarer
      @ThePlayfarer 10 років тому +3

      Dang, stole the words from my lips. xD

    • @MrLordWaffles
      @MrLordWaffles 10 років тому +22

      That's too meta for me, i'm out.

    • @Gamesdaemon11
      @Gamesdaemon11 10 років тому +56

      What makes it better is that it's exactly three sad onions, it could have been two, it could have been four but no, it was three. Amazing

    • @d4rkhound388
      @d4rkhound388 10 років тому +1

      3 onions...... 3 lines in a triangle....... 1 cheese spread thingamagig..... 1 eye - ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED.

  • @naritus.resident8388
    @naritus.resident8388 9 років тому +118

    "nought to three sad onions"

  • @NuclearCherries
    @NuclearCherries 10 років тому +45

    I'm going to make my own cheese company. It shall be called "Mildly Amused Cow".
    Original Company do not steal

  • @rabidrabbitshuggers
    @rabidrabbitshuggers 9 років тому +406

    Those are the saddest-looking onions I have ever seen.

    • @lopsidedhead
      @lopsidedhead 9 років тому +5

      I read that just as he showed them

    • @zendipillar
      @zendipillar 9 років тому +14

      +rabid rabbitshuggers yes i was thinking of how he always points out the 0-3 sad onions logo on cheap things oh those are the sad onions

    • @Lordaddog2020
      @Lordaddog2020 9 років тому +45

      There were three onions. Sad onion is usually 0-3. Coincident? I think not

    • @ColynBowman
      @ColynBowman 9 років тому +12

      HL3 actually confirmed

    • @adamtierney8914
      @adamtierney8914 7 років тому +1

      this comment has 333 likes too

  • @PorygonFTW
    @PorygonFTW Рік тому +11

    Im getting older every day. I remember watching this vid on release. 9 YEARS AGO. AHHHHHHH.

    • @rblxfan22
      @rblxfan22 4 місяці тому

      @SexManNordinI was only 8, and am now almost 19

  • @InuitInua
    @InuitInua 10 років тому +186

    "Look how happy he/she is." Well, I would hope it is a she or you would be eating some very "special" cheese!

  • @CrimsonFox36
    @CrimsonFox36 9 років тому +51

    now we need the Philosopher's Lunch

    • @bakuya99
      @bakuya99 9 років тому +6

      +Crimson Vulpes think until the left fork is available. when it is, pick it up. think until the right fork is available; when it is, pick it up. when both forks are held, eat for a fixed amount of time. then, put the right fork down. then, put the left fork down. repeat from the beginning.

    • @bakuya99
      @bakuya99 9 років тому +5

      +Crimson Vulpes ;_; i'm starving philosophers lunch sucks

    • @SparkyWaffles
      @SparkyWaffles 9 років тому +3

      +Crimson Vulpes What IS lunch?

    • @bakuya99
      @bakuya99 9 років тому +1

      Kewl Ckid Think until the plate is empty is the plate available. When it is pick it up. Think until the food is gone if it is available eat it.

    • @bakuya99
      @bakuya99 9 років тому +1

      supermaletperson Going down that line of thinking is dangerous and leads to cannibalism.

  • @JunkExplorer
    @JunkExplorer 4 роки тому +18

    I always find my way back to this video.There is something about it that really pulls me in, and I really despise pickled foods.

  • @GingerChristmas
    @GingerChristmas 4 роки тому +38

    6 years on, and Fresher's Foods website still works. They apparently changed their brand name during that time, but of course the first thing they decide to show you upon visiting their website... is this.

    • @lowercasehandle
      @lowercasehandle Рік тому +3

      still works?

    • @i7andy
      @i7andy Рік тому +1

      3 years on from this comment and the same still applies :D

    • @Elbandido99
      @Elbandido99 Рік тому

      ​@@i7andyI literally just looked them up too, the ratings are horrid...

    • @KaregoAt
      @KaregoAt Рік тому

      ​​@@i7andy Yeah, seems to be named Openshaws nowadays. Apparently they produce those little onion packets as an individual item as well!

    • @SrirachaChugChallenge747-jq7by
      @SrirachaChugChallenge747-jq7by 9 місяців тому +1

      yep. it shows me it too

  • @VideoGameManiac8
    @VideoGameManiac8 8 років тому +82

    3 little onions in a bag? Im done with life

    • @kiwisparkle1014
      @kiwisparkle1014 8 років тому +9

      Those are...sad onions c:

    • @SeekerGoldstone
      @SeekerGoldstone 8 років тому +4

      Crystal Waters naught to three of them!

    • @kiwisparkle1014
      @kiwisparkle1014 8 років тому +3

      Seeker Goldstone imagine having to eat that as a ploughman! Or if your mums too lazy to make lunch for you! 😂

    • @bentramer682
      @bentramer682 3 роки тому

      The knife got me, actually the whole thing did.

  • @Ghost_Of_SAS
    @Ghost_Of_SAS 10 років тому +24

    I find it funny that Ashens would joke about "insects" being an ingredients and then later the same year he actually ate insects out of a tin.

  • @swsephy
    @swsephy 10 років тому +120

    At least the cow is happy.

    • @emmarose1371
      @emmarose1371 10 років тому +38

      Judging by how processed it all is, I am guessing the cow lives in a cage and is bound and gagged or something.
      Happy.

    • @swsephy
      @swsephy 10 років тому +39

      ***** Sometimes I like being bound and gagged. Maybe the cow is into that, too.

    • @NacManInc
      @NacManInc 10 років тому +4

      *****
      Well, that's how veal is made.

    • @o0julek0o
      @o0julek0o 10 років тому +5

      ***** IT SAYS "HAPPY COW" SO IT'S HAPPY! These things never lie. Or maybe it likes being gagged? Maybe it's a bdsm cow.
      You're not god! You don't know that cow! It could be the happiest cow ever!

    • @emmarose1371
      @emmarose1371 10 років тому +7

      ***** "It is like the Laughing Cow, but not quite happy enough."
      -Ashens

  • @JunkExplorer
    @JunkExplorer 10 років тому +9

    3 sad onions in the packet. Wow, what perfection!

  • @SuperHandsomeGuy07
    @SuperHandsomeGuy07 3 роки тому +15

    Dear Aspiring Chefs...
    Do not let this "Ploughman's lunch" discourage you. That's not how your cheese and crackers are meant to look....

  • @McKlunkers
    @McKlunkers 2 роки тому +10

    Who the hell is still watching a 20 minute video of a bloke eating a crappy bit of cheese on some dry crackers, years after it came out?
    Me. It's me.

  • @Wemius61
    @Wemius61 10 місяців тому +1

    "Thass a roight ol' mess h'ent it?" Nailed the Norfolk vernacular beautifully there, Stuart.

  • @JayValark
    @JayValark 9 років тому +63

    To whom should the credit for this lovely meal go?
    Not to three sad onions.

    • @whitewarrior0296
      @whitewarrior0296 7 років тому +4

      Jay Valark -_- b
      Approve.

    • @achievementbird2641
      @achievementbird2641 5 років тому +1

      Jay Valark three sad onions - the founder of the feast

    • @RoachDoggJr2112
      @RoachDoggJr2112 5 років тому +3

      Hey not to be THAT GUY, nut it's "Nought" to Three, not "Not" to 3. Nought is just another word for Zero.

    • @kraftyfrog
      @kraftyfrog 10 місяців тому

      ​@@RoachDoggJr2112You missed the pun.

  • @screamingcactus1753
    @screamingcactus1753 10 років тому +1

    Thanks Ashens. These really help to fight of the midnight munchies.

  • @cipherthedemonlord8057
    @cipherthedemonlord8057 5 років тому +98

    I'll be that guy. Who's here in 2019 after the latest Bag of Crap review?

    • @KonaSquid
      @KonaSquid 5 років тому +4

      I am although I've seen this many times x3

    • @XombieLejon66
      @XombieLejon66 5 років тому +2

      Who could forget after all the years of naught-to-three sad onions, when he finally got a crap food with three sad onions.

    • @IanC14
      @IanC14 5 років тому +1

      Yep.

    • @katie2940
      @katie2940 5 років тому +1

      It just came up in my recommended. I'll assume that the UA-cam algorithm is confused from everyone looking back to this one for reference

    • @maxwell_edison
      @maxwell_edison 5 років тому +1

      I came from that video, confused how I missed this video. I even have a like on this, though, so clearly I watched it at some point but do not remember at all.

  • @TomTheTruckdriver
    @TomTheTruckdriver 9 років тому +26

    Does the packaging come with the suicide hotline number?

  • @silverxstar01
    @silverxstar01 9 років тому +277

    Those onions made me laugh. But I need to know: does ashen's voice put anyone to sleep? i wish he could read me bedtime stories.

    • @luciamulligan
      @luciamulligan 8 років тому +19

      +silverxstar Yes, I go to sleep watching his videos sometimes. He has very relaxing voice.

    • @joeysworld2946
      @joeysworld2946 8 років тому +10

      I think Ashens should do an audio series I have major trouble sleeping but the gentle humour of his voice really chills me out, I've met Stuart when he visited my city, lovely guy I must say - my FAVORITE youTuber by far

    • @KineticKiwi
      @KineticKiwi 8 років тому +3

      +silverxstar Yea, and make snarky comments about the stories, like a real brit.

    • @adamstewart1949
      @adamstewart1949 8 років тому +2

      Go to the very start of Ashens' channel. You'll thank me later.

    • @mickeymouse12678
      @mickeymouse12678 8 років тому +7

      I fall asleep at night to his videos too! :)

  • @tktru
    @tktru 3 роки тому +48

    For American viewers: “As is his wont” (pronounced “want”) is an old fashioned way of saying you’re doing something routine, like going to a pub for a pint

    • @gmansplit
      @gmansplit Рік тому +7

      Are Americans not supposed to know that expression? I feel like I've known it my whole life, but then again it's possible that I just picked up on it from such a young age by watching British UA-camrs and that it isn't, in fact, a well-known expression in the US.

    • @athenathegreatandpowerful6365
      @athenathegreatandpowerful6365 Рік тому

      ​@@gmansplitAmericans are stoopid, don't you know that? 😂

    • @Leon-zu1wp
      @Leon-zu1wp Рік тому

      I was about to comment about this. I only know of this because of Howard Cosell smugly explaining it to Frank Gifford.

    • @seronymus
      @seronymus 7 місяців тому +1

      "wont" is still in currency in American English, it just sounds a bit stuffy or sardonic.

  • @GlennWebbVideos
    @GlennWebbVideos 10 років тому +34

    Squint and the packaging almost looks like Jacobs. Sneaky

  • @Heyxyz1
    @Heyxyz1 10 років тому +2

    "Happy Cow, it's like Laughing Cow except not quite as amused" Funniest thing I heard in a long time.

  • @thatoneguycpr8997
    @thatoneguycpr8997 10 років тому +3

    I would just like to thank you Ashens, you risk your (immediate) health, just so that we may be entertained(also money I suppose, but still). Many a day you have made a down mate feel cheery, including me, and for this, you receive at least my thanks.

  • @sneakyskunk1
    @sneakyskunk1 5 місяців тому +1

    I will never not be fascinated by this.

  • @mikejarrett3297
    @mikejarrett3297 8 років тому +3

    Pickled onions and shallots are a joy to behold.

  • @MaximumRD
    @MaximumRD 10 років тому +326

    A true Ploughman would be insulted by this !

    • @dotjretion
      @dotjretion 10 років тому +153

      Ben Maung Haley
      An insult would be insulted by this!

    • @Apotheosis_44
      @Apotheosis_44 10 років тому +7

      SuperShatteredblade
      An unna would unna!

    • @ambatufakinat
      @ambatufakinat 10 років тому +37

      someone trapped on an island for 5 years and forced to eat his own crap and right foot would be insulted by this.

    • @EvilDoresh
      @EvilDoresh 10 років тому +14

      xXx_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_xXx
      Even non-living objects would be insulted.

    • @Nicy30941
      @Nicy30941 10 років тому +19

      The ingredients would be insulted by this!

  • @ZefVolk
    @ZefVolk 9 років тому +22

    1:43 The saddest of onions.

  • @posada432
    @posada432 10 років тому

    I was watching this in the middle of the night and almost woke up half the house when he mentioned the "slightly less amused" happy cow.

  • @StangerStrange
    @StangerStrange 9 років тому +51

    Trust me pickled onions really can go off, if anyone else has ever had a rancid pickled onion you will know what I mean *sad onion*

    • @TheHabitman
      @TheHabitman 9 років тому +2

      +James Stanger
      When you find a rancid onion in lieu of a slice of poontang, will you might just about start crying, after the gagging.
      But you continue eating anyhow...

  • @alastair852
    @alastair852 10 років тому +14

    Here in the southern U.S. we have/had something similar to a ploughman's lunch, save for the fact that it is nothing like a ploughman's lunch.
    It's an RC cola, a Moonpie, and in some cases a bag of salted peanuts.

    • @ryandevan2793
      @ryandevan2793 2 роки тому +2

      Ah yes the Moonpie and RC cola combo, a staple of southern lunches during the Great Depression!

  • @BananaRamaLovesGames
    @BananaRamaLovesGames 10 років тому +36

    i love it when you do food ones =D

    • @joelatkinson4051
      @joelatkinson4051 10 років тому +3

      I love it when the food's so bad he has to spit it out and gags.

    • @BananaRamaLovesGames
      @BananaRamaLovesGames 10 років тому

      He actually made me go try the breakfast in a tin thing =D think its by hunger breaks

    • @joelatkinson4051
      @joelatkinson4051 10 років тому

      ThatOneGirl And puked your brains out?

    • @BananaRamaLovesGames
      @BananaRamaLovesGames 10 років тому

      no. lol i think someone has a puke fetish xD

    • @joelatkinson4051
      @joelatkinson4051 10 років тому

      It's not a fetish. It's and "obsession"
      Don't judge me. ;D

  • @LaserDroid
    @LaserDroid 10 років тому +1

    Ashens you make me laugh with every video. I love you man!

  • @CR4NKeagle66
    @CR4NKeagle66 4 роки тому +4

    2021 and here we go again...

  • @rucu8311
    @rucu8311 10 років тому

    3 of the saddest loneliest onions - only for ploughmen from 0-3.
    God that is a saddest ploughmans lunch

  • @atomicmegalodon1413
    @atomicmegalodon1413 8 років тому +51

    0/3 sad onions would recomend.

  • @DedicatedAngler
    @DedicatedAngler 10 років тому

    This is best ashens video since Christmas 2013!

  • @lengskeng1072
    @lengskeng1072 4 роки тому +4

    Ploughman’s lunch is normally bloody lovely

  • @Verdius24
    @Verdius24 10 років тому +16

    I am surprised you didn't make a sad onions joke.

  • @TheAttacker732
    @TheAttacker732 9 років тому +22

    Fun fact:
    Chips and crisps are slightly different here in the US. Chips are whole slices of potato fried or baked. Crisps are pressed-together mashed potatoes. (Not the dish, but that might make for an interesting premise.)
    However if not made of potatoes, they're just called (_____) chips, regardless of if they are whole slices or pressed-together (_____).

    • @TheAttacker732
      @TheAttacker732 9 років тому

      +narwhal blubber Midwest.

    • @scsswyatt
      @scsswyatt 9 років тому +3

      +TheAttacker732 To the people who don't understand pringles in the US are crisp, while lays are called chips.

    • @scoutpilgrim5320
      @scoutpilgrim5320 9 років тому

      +TheAttacker732 Over here in the West Coast, we call potato chips of all sorts and flavors (Pringles, Lays, Ruffles, etc.) "chips" unless they're made out of other stuff. (eg. banana chips, tortilla chips, chocolate chips)
      The term "crisps", as far as i'm aware of, isn't used often down here.

    • @TheAttacker732
      @TheAttacker732 9 років тому

      +Scout Pilgrim It's usually on the packaging here, and that's as far as it gets since a lot of people avoid them in favor of proper potato chips. Except Pringles. Those things move off shelves reliably.

    • @scoutpilgrim5320
      @scoutpilgrim5320 9 років тому

      TheAttacker732 Really? They use "crisps" in it's UK sense? Interesting.

  • @LuLzMrTom
    @LuLzMrTom 10 років тому +3

    As soon as he whipped out the bag of onions all I just thought "3 sad onions".

  • @AgentTasmania
    @AgentTasmania 10 років тому

    After watching this, I remembered I had scraps of a jar of Branston pickle in my fridge. Some cheese (sharp cheddar) and fresh bread later, I had myself a rough ploughman's lunch.

  • @aaronchapman6994
    @aaronchapman6994 2 роки тому +4

    Literally 0-3 sad onions 😂😂😂😂

  • @SharkNinjaBlueStar
    @SharkNinjaBlueStar 10 років тому +2

    Ooo, a legit plowman's lunch sounds delicious, might have to go to the store and get the ingredients for it some day.

  • @ToxicWolf2
    @ToxicWolf2 10 років тому +4

    "Mmm. Cheesy. Not really, that's the problem." -Ashens, 2014

  • @KBV1497
    @KBV1497 5 років тому

    Found one of these in the wild, absolutely fascinating. was pissed on a pub crawl and had one, was surprisingly nice. Thought of this video when I saw it

  • @AirDeRienMontreal
    @AirDeRienMontreal 9 років тому +5

    it's like laughing cow but it wasnt quite amused enough xD

  • @moxgirl5
    @moxgirl5 7 років тому +2

    "What the hell is this? It looks like something that fell out of a skeleton's underpants" xD

  • @shrinjaymukherjee7297
    @shrinjaymukherjee7297 10 років тому +27

    1:32 Great, a rip-off of laughing cow. I fucking love that cheese.

    • @Zguy09
      @Zguy09 10 років тому +2

      I thought so too, until I found out Laughing Cow originated in 1921.

    • @shrinjaymukherjee7297
      @shrinjaymukherjee7297 10 років тому +1

      And?

    • @LieseFury
      @LieseFury 10 років тому +6

      ***** The "Happy Cow" company was founded in 1889. Note that that's *before* 1921.

    • @shrinjaymukherjee7297
      @shrinjaymukherjee7297 10 років тому +4

      I doubt that it was actually founded in 1889

    • @scvnthorpe__
      @scvnthorpe__ 10 років тому +1

      Garrett Thomas Naw dude, 1921 came first just after 2043. The time continuum's gotten really badly scrambled because of the time wars.

  • @consolios
    @consolios 8 років тому

    the ploughmans lunch will be remember as the lunch that brought the world together

  • @RetroCore
    @RetroCore 10 років тому +179

    Now I want a plowmans lunch but the issue I have here in Japan is that Cheese is stupidly expensive and pickled onions are not easy to find :-(

    • @rinkanauchiha1349
      @rinkanauchiha1349 10 років тому +21

      Omg hell yeah u live in japan xd

    • @loiloiloi6
      @loiloiloi6 10 років тому +178

      Rinkana Uchiha weeaboo

    • @WeeAds98
      @WeeAds98 10 років тому +14

      Why is cheese so expensive?

    • @fabulousshulk8096
      @fabulousshulk8096 10 років тому +30

      Dalton Stewart I always thought it was a lack of cows or something since Japan is an island. lol

    • @gyroc1_
      @gyroc1_ 10 років тому +17

      Sorry to disappoint you further, but I think you want Branston Pickle, which is probably something you have to import from Amazon.

  • @Alanphuphalee
    @Alanphuphalee 3 роки тому +1

    I bet it doesn't even taste that bad. I still love you Ashens

  • @jackmcslay
    @jackmcslay 10 років тому +4

    This has a it's own version of the 3 sad onions

  • @TrashPitFoxGirl
    @TrashPitFoxGirl 5 років тому +2

    “What are you having for lunch?”
    “Broken crackers, squished cheese and three tiny depressed onions”
    “...”

    • @ryandevan2793
      @ryandevan2793 2 роки тому

      My favorite!

    • @TrashPitFoxGirl
      @TrashPitFoxGirl 2 роки тому

      @@ryandevan2793 I genuinely forgot I made this comment lol

    • @ryandevan2793
      @ryandevan2793 2 роки тому

      @@TrashPitFoxGirl Well I’m the kind of guy that replies to old UA-cam Comments, because I’m weird!

  • @jaal426
    @jaal426 10 років тому +3

    >Ploughman's
    >no apple
    >no cider
    Utter sacrilege.

  • @joshlunt7827
    @joshlunt7827 5 років тому

    I love how Ashens opens packets straight down the middle ❤

  • @Ghost_Of_SAS
    @Ghost_Of_SAS 10 років тому +118

    I do not think "He-cows" exist

    • @EvilDoresh
      @EvilDoresh 10 років тому +109

      He-Cow, and the Moo-sters of the Moo-niverse.

    • @SorcererOfSoup
      @SorcererOfSoup 10 років тому +6

      EvilDoresh Congratulations, you win the internet.

    • @killerbee2562
      @killerbee2562 10 років тому +7

      EvilDoresh Cowboys of moo mesa meets he man?

    • @EvilDoresh
      @EvilDoresh 10 років тому +1

      TehAwzemUzarNayum Yay :D !
      killerbee256 Thanks for reminding me of that XD

    • @Quadsie
      @Quadsie 10 років тому +11

      There are he-cows. They're called bulls.

  • @checkerfired3995
    @checkerfired3995 3 роки тому +1

    I've never heard of a ploughman's lunch before this video, and after discovering what the real one is, this is one of the most hilariously pathetic foods I've ever seen

  • @jessicare5331
    @jessicare5331 8 років тому +5

    "what the hell is this? Looks like it fell out of a skeleton's underpants"

  • @SwirlyLapin
    @SwirlyLapin 10 років тому +1

    I love how short stuart keeps all his descriptions - none of that twitter Facebook link jazz

  • @JSpyx
    @JSpyx 10 років тому +2

    That cheese is exactly the same cheese we got when food was served in airplanes. :') That same cow and everything on it.

  • @dianasnow609
    @dianasnow609 8 років тому

    Ploughmen must be pretty humble if my snack is my lunch

  • @theelderscrollsfreak
    @theelderscrollsfreak 9 років тому +41

    What am I doing with my life.

  • @kaitonafirkin2178
    @kaitonafirkin2178 10 років тому

    I pissed myself laughing at the three pickled onions. No idea why it was just so so funny.

  • @troy242621
    @troy242621 8 років тому +9

    Does Ashens still let people send him food? Found something at a local supermarket that looked ungodl-I mean uh, delicious! Yeah. Delicious.

  • @BenHughes81
    @BenHughes81 10 років тому

    That's like the Lunchables we have here. That's not a lunch. That's a snack.

  • @musicalman1995
    @musicalman1995 7 років тому +11

    My mum and I put this spin on ploughman's:
    A good bread (artisan, French)
    A good cheese (nimbin cheddar)
    Avocado
    Pickled onions
    Pickled cucumbers
    Sundried tomato
    Absolutely delicious. Might add artichoke too.

  • @KatayounLam
    @KatayounLam 10 років тому +2

    Was I the only one who instantly thought "3 sad onions" when he held up the pickled onions?

  • @mischeviousme1
    @mischeviousme1 10 років тому +5

    Ploughman, a job widely revered I the US as "not real"

  • @Big_Loo
    @Big_Loo 4 роки тому +1

    At 4:22 Stuart says "cheese" and somehow says the quotation marks out loud.

  • @astral_plane_crash
    @astral_plane_crash 10 років тому +37

    I feel like that if I ate that cheese, I myself would become processed.

    • @dingasofdongos
      @dingasofdongos 10 років тому +1

      Just think happy thoughts...
      Oh wait.

  • @MattSuguisAsFondAsEverrr
    @MattSuguisAsFondAsEverrr 11 місяців тому +2

    oh look there's where the sad onions went

  • @casualnerfdragon3029
    @casualnerfdragon3029 9 років тому +7

    the reason pickled onions don't ever go off is because bacteria don't want to be within 2 miles of them.

    • @RCT3Crashes100
      @RCT3Crashes100 9 років тому

      Bonkersfogel EQRG Oh Vinegar, you are our saviour!

  • @proffski
    @proffski 7 років тому

    'Ploughman's Lunch' was first promoted by the Milk Marketing Board in the 1960s as part of a campaign to promote the sales of cheese, especially in pubs.

  • @xeokym223
    @xeokym223 9 років тому +9

    Wow, _"bread, pickle & cheese"_ doesn't sound like it would replenish a hard working person's energy very well...not even very much protein.

    • @thekweewee
      @thekweewee 9 років тому +2

      ***** I'm sure a big mac would be much much better

    • @xeokym223
      @xeokym223 9 років тому +13

      kweewee p I'm not really sure how to take that, it's not easy to determine tone from text. Are you being sarcastic? Is it a snide comment about consumerism & obesity? Or are you being straightforward? Because a Big Mac would actually be bread, pickles & cheese plus _protein,_ ie, meat. Or almost meat. But if you're satisfied eating bread, pickles & cheese, that's just wonderful. Have fun with that.

    • @RCT3Crashes100
      @RCT3Crashes100 9 років тому +15

      ***** You'd actually be surprised. If you were to make it with fresh stuff (Cheddar Cheese, Branston Pickle and a properly-cooked Baguette/French Stick), you can find quite a bit of protein in there. This is just synthetic garbage.
      In addition, the Ploughman's Lunch was invented at a time when meat was actually very difficult to come by due to its high cost, and you can imagine the people living on a farm with one cow and two or three chickens wouldn't be so eager to eat old Daisy and then have no animals to produce stuff like milk and eggs.

    • @alabamajrb5534
      @alabamajrb5534 9 років тому +1

      +Xeokym Idonthinkso cheese(7) has 1 more gram of protein than an egg(6) does....your statement don't make sense.

  • @__-mu1xd
    @__-mu1xd 10 років тому

    Ploughmen could have eaten bread, cheese and pickles, but the term "ploughman's lunch" only came to mean such in the late 1950s. It seems the Milk Marketing Board thought pup-goers weren't buying enough cheese.

  • @gandalfwiz20007
    @gandalfwiz20007 9 років тому +2

    when you say pickles, what exactly type of pickle is? cucumber? onion? red big pepper? watermelon? etc

    • @49divan
      @49divan 9 років тому +1

      Pickle is the name of anything that has been pickled

    • @Ninetails2000
      @Ninetails2000 9 років тому +1

      +Gandalfwiz2007 He specifies that they're pickled onions.

    • @caughtspeechless3288
      @caughtspeechless3288 8 років тому +1

      You can pickle watermelon? That sounds absolutely disgusting.
      Im going to try it

    • @gandalfwiz20007
      @gandalfwiz20007 8 років тому

      Caught Speechless it's a specialty in my country, looks like this:
      www.google.ro/search?q=pepeni+murati&espv=2&biw=1680&bih=949&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiKnu3hosXMAhWFthoKHUCcCDQQ_AUIBigB#imgrc=jAwlKAHgxkBvhM%3A

  • @zackmacke6997
    @zackmacke6997 9 років тому

    this guy is rather witty and the funniest guy i have seen lately

  • @Ohnonoki
    @Ohnonoki 10 років тому +5

    Happy Cow makes sad ;-;

  • @Dennoman2007
    @Dennoman2007 10 років тому

    In Belgium we have a processed cheese spread called La Vache Qui Rit. The literal translation to English ("The Cow That Laughs") sounds disturbingly like a working title for a new Woody Allen film.

  • @crowbrocaw
    @crowbrocaw 9 років тому +9

    I happen to like cardboard and vinegar.

  • @KrisHudsonLee
    @KrisHudsonLee 10 років тому

    I had the in-date version today (Yellow Lion - Greasborough near Rotherham) and I am proud to report that even when in date they taste iffy.

  • @my_beer_stories
    @my_beer_stories 2 роки тому +3

    You got 3 sad onions

  • @hettyc
    @hettyc 10 років тому +1

    Never laughed so hard at your videos as when you pulled the pickled onions out haha

  • @Isaiah42069
    @Isaiah42069 8 років тому +13

    "Sorta flopped out in a big lump" thats what she said.

  • @Zyzzywyz
    @Zyzzywyz 10 років тому

    'Tastes like Cardboard and Vinegar'
    Because there's no such snack here in our country, i'll get cardboard and dip it in vinegar just so i can emulate ashens

  • @ypsilondaone
    @ypsilondaone 8 років тому +5

    The cheese is from Austria. Usually u eat it on bread. It tastes awesome

    • @comradeurod9805
      @comradeurod9805 8 років тому

      I agree ;D ps: i am from austria

    • @VictorCowo
      @VictorCowo 8 років тому

      we have them here in Belize and we bloody love it and it's way better than that god awful laughing cow cheese

    • @ypsilondaone
      @ypsilondaone 8 років тому

      the cheese in the video is cow cheese.

    • @remposhie9575
      @remposhie9575 8 років тому +2

      laughing cow cheese is like a brand of cheese, not like as in cows cheese

    • @Isaiah42069
      @Isaiah42069 8 років тому

      tech it IS cow cheese.. and it looks like generic laughing cow, which is really good. the ones in the wedges and the wax pucks.

  • @ChittenInc
    @ChittenInc 10 років тому

    I really don't know why I find this channel to entertaining. It could be that it's nice to witness someone who's disgusted, yet not overreacting.

  • @DjVortex-w
    @DjVortex-w 10 років тому +7

    What is "processed cheese"? I'm not joking. I'm asking this seriously. How exactly do you "process" cheese?
    Cheese itself is already processed milk. How do you "process" it any further?

    • @AllmmurrA
      @AllmmurrA 10 років тому +32

      Add plastic
      Lots of it

    • @Davtwan
      @Davtwan 10 років тому +20

      *****
      Pretty much this. It's processed with preservatives in order to give the cheese a longer expiration date.
      Of course, the result also decreases the quality quite a bit.

    • @bmg1001
      @bmg1001 10 років тому +3

      AmazingJessicaa Thomas This also. Store it in plastic for long periods and the cheese BECOMES plastic.

    • @KPater-mf4je
      @KPater-mf4je 10 років тому

      Bryan Guerrero
      True dat. Of course, the apparent conclusion, after realizing that storing cheese in plastic isn't possible without preservatives that lengthen shelf life at the cost of decreasing the quality of the cheese, is to simply /not store cheese in plastic anymore/, which is also slightly better for the environment.
      But nowadays everything has to be triple-wrapped in plastic and shipped from one continent to another.

    • @Nicy30941
      @Nicy30941 10 років тому

      What comes out of the arse...