As a man, if you give us the license to drive at the speed we want with no restrictions, we'll cause catastrophic damage! Set restrictions and limits and if we as men don't obey your law or expectations write us a ticket that has a debt to paid. You set the debt payment end of discussion! Demand greatness from us, and don't operate in your feelings! Thanks Tony! Keep pushing us men to be men!
He should be emotionally intelligent enough to know how to behave. That driving at catastrophic speed hurts people. I watch carefully on a date how he treats other people and if he has empathy/respect. I'm looking for his character and integrity. I don't judge men based on how they treats women, cause men will do ANYTHING to turn a 'no' into a receptive 'yes'. They will follow all your rules. They will even wait till your wedding night if you ask them too. It doesn't mean a thing about his character or the joy you will share long term. What matters is how he treats people he can get nothing from. Cause then you will see how he will treat you when you are pregnant and in pain. Or if hard times hit and he is poor, will he share what he has with you? Look for a man willing to be LIKE Jesus. Don't look for a man who only follows the rules.
Love the analogy. Not everything has to be “by-the-book”, but a huge majority of the things mentioned are just plain common sense. Bust sadly, common sense in this world, ain’t so common now. Especially living in these last days.
This is where I am right now. Husband is too chummy with his colleague and met up with another woman. Gave him an ultimatum, work on the marriage or divorce.
You are absolutely correct! But what if you have a Grown ass boy that you are dealing with,where you set just basic rules as little as no shoe wearing in thee home,no smoking in thee home! And that crazy brotha always act out in ur home and say,Oh tell them rules to some dog's! Those 2 rules are like basic,And mind you that grown boy is 15 years older then myself! He is one toxic person and Im thee type that I do not what so ever like any drama in my home nor any where around me ever! But he always come back 2 my home,but for what? Yes we have 6 kid's together,but No,he never took care of my kid's @ all...Yeah he will pop up nd bring something's when he want's to,just like a lil child,lol! But any how get thee strength to get up nd leave that toxic-ness in every way possible,Be Bless Ya'll Alway's! Happy Holiday's!
@@fanessfirstplace70 1. Stop sleeping with him. 2. Stop letting him in. If he wants to see the kids, he can pick them up and take them somewhere. Raise your standards and set boundaries because what you allow will always continue.
@@user-ue5xi5jw7q Whom said I was sleeping with this Grown Boy,lol? No..... This is not what I posted nor said!! You might have to go back to my origional statement my friend! I dont sleep with him,for many year's,I don't let him in,I said he pop's up,lol! Meaning Grown boy pop's up @ my residence,knocking and banging on my door,lol!! I have high standard's and boundaries,I even blocked his number from ringing my phone,I cant and wont control a GROWN-BOY'S ACTION'S,farewell and take care!!
You'll make it dear. I promise you it will get better with time. Feeding your mind with teachings like this will certainly help. And if you're a praying person, spending some time in prayer and reflection will help too. Blessings on this journey!
Settling doesn't resemble self worth. We have to go into a relationship with the mindset of greatness and if the other party doesn't recognize it, find your nearest exit!
Men only change when you leave them and let them know you won’t tolerate any bull crap. If you stay they’ll never change but if you leave, they might finally realize what they had.
I learned this first hand. I messed up big time with my ex husband. I paid all the bills, spoiled him, paid for vacations. He didn’t respect me. I got tired after 5 years & divorced him. That’s when he wanted to act right!!!! But it was too late. I learned self worth is way more important than a “marriage”.
When I told my husband I was leaving and divorcing him because I did not feel he loved me and I explained the reasons why I felt he did not love me: he said he did not think I would ever leave him. I put up with a lot ok emotional abuse and public humiliation. And even though my younger brothers tried to tell me for years that by the way he was treating me he really had no respect for me, I still stayed married for 21 yrs until I had enough. He never physically abused me, but the disrespect, emotional abuse, platonic female relationships despite my feelings, and public humiliation in front of our friends was too much. Separated for 3 yrs and divorced for almost 2 yrs. No longer emotionally and physically sick.
Nobody is perfect. But you have to do whats best for you. What you eat don't make nobody else shit. So if u can't handle the heat get off the pot. Best luck
A man will truly try you! I use to think i was walking away too soon but anytime i went back after men did me wrong it never worked! They never changed...so i was done FINALLY!
What people don't realize is that the woman is the prize. The bible says that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord. God is blessing the man with the woman and God will bless a man who takes a wife. But there's a caveat to that, you cannot treat her bad. The word says that you should treat her with respect so that your prayers aren't hindered. 1 Peter 3:7. So when a man feels he is the prize and has options, he is showing pride and ego. He is supposed to lay down his life for his wife and give himself for her. That means give his WHOLE self to his wife. This is why so many people are single and marriages don't work out. It's out of order....
Yes you are right. But I'm fighting with the help of the Lord. I'm trying to focus on healing and self love. It is much more painful to stay with someone that is misusing and abusing you. Then it is to sit in the pain of walking away from that individual. There is a blessing on the other side of the pain.
Its this one ex that I thought that I would never get over. And I did. Now that I am looking back, I can not believe I wasted my energy and time on a man like that. Never again. And to this day he begs me asking to sleep with me, thats it. Blocked! I will never go back to his behind.
@@AliveBlessedGratefulStay strong. Follow your head....it knows the facts. Your heart will heal. It's better to hurt today than suffer damage for a lifetime.
LADIES never take back a cheater.. imagine what he or she perform in the bed..then picture them doing that with the other person..that image should keep you moving👟👟
This is VERY TRUE!!! You need to be on a blow horn with this, or even a have this posted on a blimp. The problem is people don't want to hear the truth or accept it. They get extremely angry when you speak the truth.
It's all I see when his cheating pops up in my mind. Make me feel sick knowing he pleasured another woman the same way he pleasured me or better. It hurts too because I know I'm a sexy gorgeous clean woman who was loyal to him. What a waste!
Like I had this nigga tell me all the glory details. Little did he know it wasn’t to humiliate him but to KNOW I am making the right decision never to come back to you or y’all baby !!!!
Incase you need a reminder, staying longer won't make them love you more, it'll just make you seem little to no value in their eyes and how can you attract high value partner/people if you're not high value yourself
I been feeling like my boyfriend is playing games and not being honest. I know I'm right. I dont like to play games with people feeling. Yesterday I told him I'm done I'm moving on..... he been calling and texting I'm not going to answer him. I'm praying to God about it. God will heal me
If your spidey senses are tingling and you’re not a paranoid person. You’re hovering over the target!!! Well done for moving on. It’s not easy but the right thing to do.
Honestly most couples that been together for 20+ years always say something to the effect of they went through a period where they had to leave each other alone for a significant amount of time.
My husband of 14 years did this he cheated 3 times and I took him back. I found out 2 months he was sleeping around again. He then had the nerve to say he realized he got what he need and want at home and he should have never did it. I told him its done. He was making ppl think I was just being crazy. He had me thinking I was inadequate in some way as a woman. We would go weeks without sex, no romance, and minimal effort. I finally realized I have power over my situation. I found my value and when you know your value you control how other ppl treat you. I see that I have to move on. It hurts and we have little kids together but I can't keep being his fool.
He probably did you a favor...his loss. I pray God gives you the love, comfort, & peace you need. I can definitely relate...working up to doing the work now.🙏🏾❤️
Absolutely! Tony you have helped me so much. I recently left my children’s father 6 months ago who cheated and lied for years. If I would have left a long time ago, I would have saved myself 9 years heartbreak and emotional trauma. I stayed because I wanted my kids to have a “family”. Mentally and emotionally I feel amazing now. I am getting the three B’s together. Thank you again Tony I have found my self respect 🙏🏾🙌🏾
It's not a game. Waiting often leads to expectations, & expectations lead to disappointment. When you leave him, you have to get over him. If you get back together with negative energy, it definitely won't work.
With holding information is damaging and equal to lying!! If you have nothing to hide, why act that way? Walk right out of their life, they are low quality people!
We might find love or we might not. The key to taking back your power is to not be afraid to do without love. It won’t be easy but I suppose it can be easier than living on a rollercoaster taking breadcrumbs and being used and losing yourself.
@@jcymngo 💯 it really is! Very very overrated…. Easiest way for someone to take advantage of you. So many people out here looking for someone to use and manipulate… sick of it… better off alone man
Willing to leave is one of the best things you can do !!!!!! And trust if they really love you ... you’ll know !!! No questions no confusion. No games intended! You goin learn today!!! 😬 thank TG
Nafisa 101 Exactly what i was thinking! These grown ass toxic fake men/women on here wit thumbs down That are playing game on people and refuse to change their nasty toxic behaviour. Are vex and cant no hide! TG wise Godly knowledge wisdom is telling us these toxic folk on their game. 💞🇬🇧
I don't tolerate NOTHING im not doing to anyone else, I don't set standards for people that I don't hold myself to as well. What I REQUIRE I GIVE & its just that simple
Leaving is hard when you love someone and you have invested so much time, emotions etc.....it is very embarrassing when the person u plan to spend your life with keeps cheating
I so wanted it to work…but my gut told me not to stay in the relationship. I miss him but I realized that he truly never loved me. He didn’t even fight for me when I left. I definitely made the right choice.
It took me THREE times. I swear on everything my third time I had no mf tears in my eyes . I told his ass to lose my number and don’t think another second of speaking to me again and I mf mean it! BLOCKED
My bf has been getting too comfortable. I’ve been ignoring him for 3 days now and I miss him . But I’ve wrote down his pros and cons and when I think of him I read the cons and it helps . Lol now I’m here . I needed a stronger solution . Know ya worth y’all ! ❤️💯
He’s allowed three days without contact that is your answer sis. Let him continue life without contact as he’s ok with full three days without you unless you tell me he’s outside now. Just realised it’s been a while, how did it end did you work it out?
Tony, be blessed, I MADE IT!! Honestly, for 2 1/2 years I settled, then you woke me. I would not be here without you sir, you literally saved my life and I am forever grateful. Thank you💙
My ex of 3 and a half years just left me. I would stand up for the things that I wanted and the things that I disliked. He followed pornstars and such which i did not like...he unfollowed after i said i would not tolerate that. A year later hes following them again...i bring it up again and he gets defensive. He already knows he completely disrespected me the whole relationship. I gave everything I could for someone who had nothing to offer. I tried to be a woman who motivated him because I have big goals that are going to be met and I wanted him to be a part of that. Every argument was some how MY fault...everything always got flipped around leaving me so confused and anxious. I now realize I never respected myself because I stayed for someone who never wanted a future with me but claimed he did. All talk no action. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think someone who is into porn will change? I am currently dating a man in his 50s and found out porn links on his phone. He is also into tiktok. Im 28 yrs old and he said he would change that although he said he wasnt sure why I was making a huge deal since most men are into that and its normal. He treats me very well but im starting to think that is a red flag. He also has 4 kids (all grown up) one of them is a product of him cheating on his then partner. Another red flag?
@@cynthiaurugutia736 girl that man is not changing! 50 years of life and at this point it’s become an unconscious habit that he clearly sees no problem with. If it’s truly something you cannot tolerate, I say leave. But if to you it’s not that big of a deal and you’re okay, then stay! Sometimes it’s our insecurities that really make that circumstance worse :/ But at the end of the day you are in control of who you have in your life and what you will tolerate. It’s truly something you have to contemplate.
Sis, glad you got out of that situation. Sounds like a similar situation I just recently walked away from. I mean like exactly the same. Arguments felt me confused and anxious as well. Then, I remembered: God is not the author of confusion! Glad we loved ourselves enough to flee from something not serving us. Cheers to us for doing better...🥂
I learned my lesson didn’t give any last words or explanation I literally just stopped calling and stop responding. He is very toxic but has that gift of gab that will have me right back in the same mess. I’m good I won’t go back either
Woo Tony you dropped this video at the right time 👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 My ex was texting me last night trying to come back to my life and I said “No I don’t want you no more. He said his apology to me but I said “No more chances 🙅🏽♀️🙅🏽♀️, i don’t want to see you or hear from you ever in my life.” And after that I blocked him and deleted him (block ministry, holla) Thank you 🙏🏽 for “A woman’s influence” I read it front to back coupled with your videos I been watching and have been healing, knowing my self worth, and to love ❤️ myself.I know Jesus has the best thing for me. Thank you Tony and Sheri, God bless you guys.
Just wanted to share this with you real quick, Tony you saved me. The day I came across your videos it was a extreme blessing. I was broken in every way but it’s like God wanted/needed me to find your channel. Since watching your videos in every way my life has elevated. You did the work in these videos and I did the work at home by following what you’ve said. So thank you so much for taking a woman who was literally ready to give up on love into a woman who is solely focused on the Lord and waiting till one day a man proves himself worthy 🤍🙌🏽 God and You saved me!!! I’m crying while writing this, because this is real life and I am doing everything I can to make sure that I become a woman with influence.
God bless you! You did the right thing. Some people are able to come back from Something like that. Some cannot. I’m a person that once I been cheated on I do not go back because I know I will never trust again.
Man I left my grown boy at 7 months pregnant for all of the above. Everything you could think of he did. I left and THE NEXT DAY he had a party and some female in our house. I moved 8 hrs away and have been gone going on 7 months. I still tried giving him ample opportunities to fix it so we could get back together. The last straw FOR HIM was me moving out of my parents house and getting my own space NOT WITH HIM. Now mind you he lost his job and everything when I left and is STILL on his friends couch with NO JOB. He said since I'm doing better without him then he doesn't want to work it out anymore. I went OFF I have this man's child and he mad bc I'm bettering myself and not wanting to continue living with my parents! I left and it didn't work. He just kept doing the same stuff it was just easier for him because I'm not up under him no more. So much time wasted really thinking he would change.
He is mad because you're doing better. But he doesn't realize that Karma is hitting him with no job, no home, and a broken spirit. Karma will keep hitting him until he fixes his spirit.
@@Newladyn09 yeah and that's what I figured its just sad bc ppl you care about are the ones who seem to hurt you the most. But I've learned and hopefully I can continue to strive and not worry about him.
He expected you to be down and out -now it’s what’s happening to him. And you moving out of your parents place -he automatically is taking defeat because worse case scenario for him is that you’ll “meet someone “ and do what you want to do. They don’t want you flourishing
The longest I allowed a situationship was 17 days. I had to sit back & self-reflect. I truly figured out his intentions & he never really loved me. He was trying to get busy. I thank God I dodged that bullet.
I haven't found fault in anything Mr. Tony said. For a long time, I thought I was wrong for breaking off a relationship with a best friend (turned boyfriend). We dated for 2 years and he said something to me I never thought he would EVER say. It was so disrespectful and broke me. I gave him space for 2 months, but I was still cordial during that time. I was working on me, trying to heal correctly and contemplate our relationship. We never got back together, which I'm happy about now. Overall, I am so thankful for that time and this video as confirmation 3 years later. Growth hurts, but is needed.
People take advantage of you if they know you are not going anywhere. Your not going to leave. If you allow people to try you they will. Some people also try you to see how much they can get away with or some people do it because that is who they are or they are trying to call your bluff. If you have to leave someone because of something he did or didn't do, do not go back and allow the actions to happen.
I literally just experienced the most confusing relationship of my life. This man pursued me for months. Studied me. Gifted me. Learned my hobbies and made travel plans for us all the time. Gained my trust just to drop me stating "we are incompatible" All because I won't allow the disrespect of him texting a specific female friend late at night or being at her beck and call I'm in utter shock He liked the chase I guess then dropped me like a hot potato. I won't tolerate that. Especially since she was a brand new friend he had just met. Like what? You can't cater to her when youre trying to build with me. I'm not controlling but it was inappropriate
Not leaving after someone cheating on you doesn't teach them anything, other than the fact that they can continue to take you for granted, because you don't love yourself enough to let them go.
Lol and love this reminder " he should feel he made a stupid mistake and he has to settle for loose booty #901....!" Thanks for sharing your wisdom and humor!
Sleeping with someone else...First Offense....I’m gone for good. Knowing I’ve been faithful and committed to my partner all these years?? I’ve done it already. Got cheated on after 8 years and when I found out I was like this here👉🏾 🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️Goooone!!!. That’s my standard and I’m sticking to it. Don’t care how many years we been married together have kids together, nope I’m goooone....like “PSHOOOO!!!” gone. Standards are standards. Both knew the deal from the get go so...... I’M GOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!! I don’t care what my kids or nobody else say. I’ll never cheat on my partner. And I’m married....20 years now. Yup. I’m leaving if she cheats don’t care what nobody says. And if it happened years ago and I find out about it today, I’m still GOOOOOONE. 👍🏾 WHATEVER IS DONE IN THE DARK WILL EVENTUALLY COME OUT IN THE LIGHT. So don’t mess up. Peee-reee-od!!!
My second time listening to this. I feel like everyday you should evaluate your relationship. The biggest mistake we can make as ladies is letting things slide years down the line. Check that behavior that day. Stop waiting 2yrs then saying i finally left. This was also my mistake as well. Nip the small offenses now or reap the bigger ones later. Evaluate on a daily basis!!
This man's transparency & flow is amazing.. He's always on point.. Nothing less than a King helping other Kings & Queens within God's Kingdom!! "Point blank period" ❤
The unsaid thing about this principle and self love journey we are not told is that you do truly lose a lot of people forever over it.... We are told they will come back better when we raise our standards or we will get higher quality but we are not told that for some people this means waiting for years. Think about a handsome successful guy displaying these behaviours you describe. There are millions of girls prettier than you out there on the line who will tolerate their behaviours.... Once you start setting standards for them girl they are gone. Why would they pay £10 for you when they can get you and more for £2...This is the part we havent been told. Its a high price we pay for raising our standards..... And sometimes you have to be prepared to be alone for quite sometime
All that doesn't speak on the trauma, disrespect, heartache those girls will have to deal with for discounting themselves for her a man ,so yeah they didnt gain anything over us if the guy is a legit bum.
Thanks Tony! You’re giving me strength to leave a 2 year situationship.. I want real love and marriage.. I’m currently ready a women’s influence also 🙌🏻 Thank you so much for your wisdom Tony!! 🙏🏻
As a man, if you give us the license to drive at the speed we want with no restrictions, we'll cause catastrophic damage! Set restrictions and limits and if we as men don't obey your law or expectations write us a ticket that has a debt to paid. You set the debt payment end of discussion! Demand greatness from us, and don't operate in your feelings! Thanks Tony! Keep pushing us men to be men!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 great man.
He should be emotionally intelligent enough to know how to behave. That driving at catastrophic speed hurts people.
I watch carefully on a date how he treats other people and if he has empathy/respect. I'm looking for his character and integrity.
I don't judge men based on how they treats women, cause men will do ANYTHING to turn a 'no' into a receptive 'yes'.
They will follow all your rules. They will even wait till your wedding night if you ask them too.
It doesn't mean a thing about his character or the joy you will share long term.
What matters is how he treats people he can get nothing from. Cause then you will see how he will treat you when you are pregnant and in pain.
Or if hard times hit and he is poor, will he share what he has with you? Look for a man willing to be LIKE Jesus.
Don't look for a man who only follows the rules.
Love the analogy. Not everything has to be “by-the-book”, but a huge majority of the things mentioned are just plain common sense. Bust sadly, common sense in this world, ain’t so common now. Especially living in these last days.
Nice analogy Marvin
I LOVE THIS COMMENT! THANK YOU!
If someone makes you feel negative emotions (anxiety, confusion, sadness, self-doubt), leave it.
Amen
👋
Amen
Yesss
Timely. Thank you.
When you shut someone down for treating you less than, you open yourself up to something better.
Amen! 🙏🏾🙌🏾💕
yay:)
Wow, wonderfully said!
Nice....❤...
Deep, Profound
Leaving a man is actually very liberating. You lose nothing if you dont even depend on him financially. Take yourself back queen!
Sometimes you have to leave because, they are emotionally unavailable...
Just left bcz of this very reason.
This is where I am right now. Husband is too chummy with his colleague and met up with another woman. Gave him an ultimatum, work on the marriage or divorce.
Mi can’t deal wit dat! It’s too much
Taking on someone else junk , frankly their BS
💯💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️
Basically he’s saying if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything! You must have self love and self respect.
Exactly!!!
You are absolutely correct! But what if you have a Grown ass boy that you are dealing with,where you set just basic rules as little as no shoe wearing in thee home,no smoking in thee home! And that crazy brotha always act out in ur home and say,Oh tell them rules to some dog's! Those 2 rules are like basic,And mind you that grown boy is 15 years older then myself! He is one toxic person and Im thee type that I do not what so ever like any drama in my home nor any where around me ever! But he always come back 2 my home,but for what? Yes we have 6 kid's together,but No,he never took care of my kid's @ all...Yeah he will pop up nd bring something's when he want's to,just like a lil child,lol! But any how get thee strength to get up nd leave that toxic-ness in every way possible,Be Bless Ya'll Alway's! Happy Holiday's!
@@fanessfirstplace70 1. Stop sleeping with him. 2. Stop letting him in. If he wants to see the kids, he can pick them up and take them somewhere. Raise your standards and set boundaries because what you allow will always continue.
@@user-ue5xi5jw7q Whom said I was sleeping with this Grown Boy,lol? No..... This is not what I posted nor said!! You might have to go back to my origional statement my friend! I dont sleep with him,for many year's,I don't let him in,I said he pop's up,lol! Meaning Grown boy pop's up @ my residence,knocking and banging on my door,lol!! I have high standard's and boundaries,I even blocked his number from ringing my phone,I cant and wont control a GROWN-BOY'S ACTION'S,farewell and take care!!
A.m.e.n.
I blocked him today. 🤣😌
Never going back.
Great
Same here 😂
Self love first always...👏
@@RealLadi228 yep!
Same 👏🏼👏🏼 i feel amazing!
It hurt like hell but I walked away. Taking it a day at a time
You'll make it dear. I promise you it will get better with time. Feeding your mind with teachings like this will certainly help. And if you're a praying person, spending some time in prayer and reflection will help too. Blessings on this journey!
@@TasiaGonsalvesBarriero thank you so much! God bless you
Yes . I'm healing everyday
Congrats, beautiful. You're a strong woman and a role model to those around you.
My story to . and I’m so much better for it 😊
Every successful relationship that I know of the woman took a break from the man to show him that she wasn’t to be played with !!
Oh wow!!
Exactly a lot of times I heard that too
Yep truth!
Yeah true
Peace through strength.
my "let go " game is so strong now because of u brother Tony. be blessed i made it
Me tooooo 🥰
I just have to say.... Tony your funny !!!....... Also.... Intelligent !!!!
I'm there too!!✌🏽
Same
Thank God for Tony.
Settling doesn't resemble self worth. We have to go into a relationship with the mindset of greatness and if the other party doesn't recognize it, find your nearest exit!
👏🏾👏🏾
Chris Parker Amennnnn
Periodt!
FACTS
It’s dat simple bro lol people over complicate it...
Men only change when you leave them and let them know you won’t tolerate any bull crap. If you stay they’ll never change but if you leave, they might finally realize what they had.
Bull crap🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“You have to let a person know what you won’t tolerate.” TG
THANKS SO MUCH. PUT UR FOOT DOWN
Awesome
I learned this first hand. I messed up big time with my ex husband. I paid all the bills, spoiled him, paid for vacations. He didn’t respect me. I got tired after 5 years & divorced him. That’s when he wanted to act right!!!! But it was too late. I learned self worth is way more important than a “marriage”.
Marsha Griffiths
Exactly. “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” TG
Dr. Elaine ❤️
When I told my husband I was leaving and divorcing him because I did not feel he loved me and I explained the reasons why I felt he did not love me: he said he did not think I would ever leave him. I put up with a lot ok emotional abuse and public humiliation. And even though my younger brothers tried to tell me for years that by the way he was treating me he really had no respect for me, I still stayed married for 21 yrs until I had enough. He never physically abused me, but the disrespect, emotional abuse, platonic female relationships despite my feelings, and public humiliation in front of our friends was too much. Separated for 3 yrs and divorced for almost 2 yrs. No longer emotionally and physically sick.
Sorry you had to go through that, queen 💜
Proud of u, that's great xx
I’m glad you pulled yourself outa that toxicity. stay blessed!
I read your post it touch my heart. Mental, physical emotionally abuse it's bad for your health. I thank God for you be blessed sister.
I can directly relate to your story. No contact for 2yrs. Almost finished divorcing ❤️
Cheating has to be a deal breaker folks. Not worth it!
@@DJRenee your opinion 💁
@@DJRenee WOW. Smh. This kind of thinking is why women go what we go through. Smh.
Nobody is perfect. But you have to do whats best for you. What you eat don't make nobody else shit. So if u can't handle the heat get off the pot. Best luck
That's my deal breaker too Christine. I am loyal and faithful until you cheat. Then I'm out. Can't do the Beyonce thing.
So true!!
Yep after 2yrs had no choice but to walk away. It’s been 4 months, ain’t heard from him and it’s ok. I walked away cuz I respect/love myself
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This needs to be me next, he’s draining me emotionally, financially and spiritually
Me too 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
A man will truly try you! I use to think i was walking away too soon but anytime i went back after men did me wrong it never worked! They never changed...so i was done FINALLY!
My experience, when I took them back, the disrespect was WORSE than before. I’ll never do it again. No way.
They are who they are. They don't change it's what the next person in their life will be ok with that your not ok with
why they try us though what ever happened to just having a fucking good time. Wtf has ever happened to the world . lol this is not okay.
How long did stay gone and did you communicate with him during your time away?
@@KeyLoLoKye This is true... Currently going through this after giving chance after chance so sad :(
What people don't realize is that the woman is the prize. The bible says that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord. God is blessing the man with the woman and God will bless a man who takes a wife. But there's a caveat to that, you cannot treat her bad. The word says that you should treat her with respect so that your prayers aren't hindered. 1 Peter 3:7.
So when a man feels he is the prize and has options, he is showing pride and ego. He is supposed to lay down his life for his wife and give himself for her. That means give his WHOLE self to his wife. This is why so many people are single and marriages don't work out. It's out of order....
Perfectly written! I screenshot this...God bless you for sharing 🙏🏽
Exactly! Very well said sis!!!👏 👌 🙌
I AM ABUNDANT thank u! You are so welcome 🥰
Lori Gray thank u 🥰
More men need to learn this before marriage!
Lord rebuke grown boys from my life pleeaasssee
I'm rebuking they asses. Being accountable.
Amen sis!
Amen
In Jesus’s name...!
Omg! Yes indeed! I had 2 deal with a grown-boy,sooooo sad but true!
At some point you have to stop talking and leave him alone
Yep everybody tough in the comments. Leaving is so hard to do I won’t lie and heartbreak ain’t no joke fr
Yes you are right. But I'm fighting with the help of the Lord. I'm trying to focus on healing and self love. It is much more painful to stay with someone that is misusing and abusing you. Then it is to sit in the pain of walking away from that individual. There is a blessing on the other side of the pain.
Going through now I chose to walk away hurting,but I need to heal I was suffering more staying
@@lillianpitts9853 same
Ladenna Young so true!! I’m so happy I healed I was so bitter for a long time
Lillian Pitts me too it was rough but worth it in the end. I did us both a favor though
You gotta be willing to lose them and stay gone!
“You gotta be willing to lose them, in order to keep them”
Yeah don’t waste any more time !
I will DROP everything for ME!!! Point. Blank. Periodttt.
💯
If you have to force it to fit, it’s not for you-Tony Gaskins
Be blessed, I made it!
I’m 42- Cheating is a NON NEGOTIABLE!!!! I am out same day!!!
Its this one ex that I thought that I would never get over. And I did. Now that I am looking back, I can not believe I wasted my energy and time on a man like that. Never again. And to this day he begs me asking to sleep with me, thats it. Blocked! I will never go back to his behind.
Noelle Kennedy thankssssss so much for sharing this! I feel so encouraged to know I will get over these feelings
and he still don't have a clue because he's focused on sleeping with you. SMH
I’m praying to get to the other side asap & in one piece. My heart hurts but my head tells me to move on.
@@AliveBlessedGratefulStay strong. Follow your head....it knows the facts. Your heart will heal. It's better to hurt today than suffer damage for a lifetime.
Omg! I feel and know your pain. Smh
LADIES never take back a cheater.. imagine what he or she perform in the bed..then picture them doing that with the other person..that image should keep you moving👟👟
This is VERY TRUE!!! You need to be on a blow horn with this, or even a have this posted on a blimp. The problem is people don't want to hear the truth or accept it. They get extremely angry when you speak the truth.
Facts!! Worked for me!
Right! That thought made me sick to my stomach. Goodbye!
It's all I see when his cheating pops up in my mind. Make me feel sick knowing he pleasured another woman the same way he pleasured me or better. It hurts too because I know I'm a sexy gorgeous clean woman who was loyal to him. What a waste!
Like I had this nigga tell me all the glory details. Little did he know it wasn’t to humiliate him but to KNOW I am making the right decision never to come back to you or y’all baby !!!!
I always say people know what they can and can not do to a person, but they will def test the water first!
1
Sure will.
Be blessed
Incase you need a reminder, staying longer won't make them love you more, it'll just make you seem little to no value in their eyes and how can you attract high value partner/people if you're not high value yourself
"Cant build an empire with a liar" good one Tony! Thumbs way up!
💯🗣🗣🗣
Draw a line in the sand & mean it! That's what he's saying.
I just want to loose him forever . I love him but he isn't good for me
I been feeling like my boyfriend is playing games and not being honest. I know I'm right. I dont like to play games with people feeling. Yesterday I told him I'm done I'm moving on..... he been calling and texting I'm not going to answer him. I'm praying to God about it. God will heal me
Hope you moved on since then sis. 🙏🏾
Amén
I hope you stuck to it!
If your spidey senses are tingling and you’re not a paranoid person. You’re hovering over the target!!! Well done for moving on. It’s not easy but the right thing to do.
Honestly most couples that been together for 20+ years always say something to the effect of they went through a period where they had to leave each other alone for a significant amount of time.
My husband of 14 years did this he cheated 3 times and I took him back. I found out 2 months he was sleeping around again. He then had the nerve to say he realized he got what he need and want at home and he should have never did it. I told him its done. He was making ppl think I was just being crazy. He had me thinking I was inadequate in some way as a woman. We would go weeks without sex, no romance, and minimal effort. I finally realized I have power over my situation. I found my value and when you know your value you control how other ppl treat you. I see that I have to move on. It hurts and we have little kids together but I can't keep being his fool.
I instantly thought of Fantasia song ‘Sometimes you have to lose to Win Again’. 🗣 Be blessed. I made it.
SO TRUE. HOLD UR HEAD UP💗
Me too!
You know or recognize someone’s value only when you lose them.
No transparency in the comments . I stayed and got left . Biggest mistake . Now, I’m doing the work, Thanks Tony .
He probably did you a favor...his loss. I pray God gives you the love, comfort, & peace you need. I can definitely relate...working up to doing the work now.🙏🏾❤️
It's hard to leave. Probably better he left instead of you. If you left, you'd ask yourself if it was the right thing to do.
It takes a lot of effort to balance the scale of having boundaries and being a giver.
Very, very true
Word. Very well said
You crack me up! I never thought I could laugh so much over leaving someone. God bless your talent!
Right! It was the way he said "take advantage of me!" LOL that took me out!! 🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely! Tony you have helped me so much. I recently left my children’s father 6 months ago who cheated and lied for years. If I would have left a long time ago, I would have saved myself 9 years heartbreak and emotional trauma. I stayed because I wanted my kids to have a “family”. Mentally and emotionally I feel amazing now. I am getting the three B’s together. Thank you again Tony I have found my self respect 🙏🏾🙌🏾
Self respect is Under-Rated....peace be with you ✌
May OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS You ABUNDANTLY in all areas of your life IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST! AMEN!!!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Same here @Queen Experience!! 🙌🏽 Time to take our lives back 💯
Congratulations on your new beginning! God bless you.
It's not a game. Waiting often leads to expectations, & expectations lead to disappointment. When you leave him, you have to get over him. If you get back together with negative energy, it definitely won't work.
Yup
That’s facts
Lack of transparency is actually dishonesty as well. It facilitates distrust. That’s a real breaker for me!
That's why I left yesterday
With holding information is damaging and equal to lying!! If you have nothing to hide, why act that way? Walk right out of their life, they are low quality people!
We had an LDR and his communication was super shady. We never met up as he was a deceiver.
❤Please use this quarantine time to .....get your home and life in order.❤ Use these last days wisely in love, jobs, relationships and with family.❤
That's a deep significant statement😌
AMEN
I'm teaching him how to treat me. I can tell he's getting frustrated. Oh well, that's the rules...
I’ve experienced this too and it’s sad to me because it means him doing more to be with me is a chore for him when I love him so much.
Yup it’s like a tug of war pretty much. Especially if they’re used to getting their way with every other woman.
me too
facts. like i’m doing too much
We might find love or we might not. The key to taking back your power is to not be afraid to do without love. It won’t be easy but I suppose it can be easier than living on a rollercoaster taking breadcrumbs and being used and losing yourself.
(Romantic) Love is overrated!
Faaaacccctttts on my way
Amen
Facccccts
@@jcymngo 💯 it really is! Very very overrated…. Easiest way for someone to take advantage of you. So many people out here looking for someone to use and manipulate… sick of it… better off alone man
I wish I left a Long time ago! I put up with way too much and you’re right, they just lose respect for you for putting up with them!
This man is really giving game - sheesh
Willing to leave is one of the best things you can do !!!!!! And trust if they really love you ... you’ll know !!! No questions no confusion. No games intended! You goin learn today!!! 😬 thank TG
You truly teach people how to treat you.
I will hold on for dear life for the absolute longest. But when I’m done, I AM DONE!!
I don’t know who are the 47 people who disliked this when everything he is saying is 💯 correct
Nafisa 101
Exactly what i was thinking!
These grown ass toxic fake men/women on here wit thumbs down That are playing game on people and refuse to change their nasty toxic behaviour.
Are vex and cant no hide!
TG wise Godly knowledge wisdom is telling us these toxic folk on their game. 💞🇬🇧
I don't tolerate NOTHING im not doing to anyone else, I don't set standards for people that I don't hold myself to as well. What I REQUIRE I GIVE & its just that simple
Sis. And that’s why you will always win. Period.💕
Amen 🥰
Leaving is hard when you love someone and you have invested so much time, emotions etc.....it is very embarrassing when the person u plan to spend your life with keeps cheating
I was so hurt but I had to leave...cried about it daily but got tired of being mistreated it did not start that way.
I so wanted it to work…but my gut told me not to stay in the relationship. I miss him but I realized that he truly never loved me. He didn’t even fight for me when I left.
I definitely made the right choice.
Be blessed! I made it! Sometimes leaving is uncomfortable but it is needed to get the respect your deserve. Never settle!
It took me THREE times. I swear on everything my third time I had no mf tears in my eyes . I told his ass to lose my number and don’t think another second of speaking to me again and I mf mean it! BLOCKED
Exactly, you teach ppl how to treat you by what you tolerate, accept, or block.
My bf has been getting too comfortable. I’ve been ignoring him for 3 days now and I miss him . But I’ve wrote down his pros and cons and when I think of him I read the cons and it helps . Lol now I’m here . I needed a stronger solution . Know ya worth y’all ! ❤️💯
I will try this,in same situation i gave him so many chances to change but me staying and complaining made him continue treating me how he likes
He’s allowed three days without contact that is your answer sis. Let him continue life without contact as he’s ok with full three days without you unless you tell me he’s outside now. Just realised it’s been a while, how did it end did you work it out?
@GlazeLotus how did it go
@@jakabae5900 how did it go
wow... want to know how this went
I walked away now I'm dealing with not having to worry about who he is with. It hurted and I feeling dealing and healing.
Tony, be blessed, I MADE IT!! Honestly, for 2 1/2 years I settled, then you woke me. I would not be here without you sir, you literally saved my life and I am forever grateful. Thank you💙
My ex of 3 and a half years just left me.
I would stand up for the things that I wanted and the things that I disliked.
He followed pornstars and such which i did not like...he unfollowed after i said i would not tolerate that. A year later hes following them again...i bring it up again and he gets defensive.
He already knows he completely disrespected me the whole relationship.
I gave everything I could for someone who had nothing to offer. I tried to be a woman who motivated him because I have big goals that are going to be met and I wanted him to be a part of that.
Every argument was some how MY fault...everything always got flipped around leaving me so confused and anxious.
I now realize I never respected myself because I stayed for someone who never wanted a future with me but claimed he did.
All talk no action. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you think someone who is into porn will change? I am currently dating a man in his 50s and found out porn links on his phone. He is also into tiktok. Im 28 yrs old and he said he would change that although he said he wasnt sure why I was making a huge deal since most men are into that and its normal. He treats me very well but im starting to think that is a red flag. He also has 4 kids (all grown up) one of them is a product of him cheating on his then partner. Another red flag?
@@cynthiaurugutia736 girl that man is not changing!
50 years of life and at this point it’s become an unconscious habit that he clearly sees no problem with.
If it’s truly something you cannot tolerate, I say leave.
But if to you it’s not that big of a deal and you’re okay, then stay!
Sometimes it’s our insecurities that really make that circumstance worse :/
But at the end of the day you are in control of who you have in your life and what you will tolerate.
It’s truly something you have to contemplate.
Sis, glad you got out of that situation. Sounds like a similar situation I just recently walked away from. I mean like exactly the same. Arguments felt me confused and anxious as well. Then, I remembered: God is not the author of confusion! Glad we loved ourselves enough to flee from something not serving us. Cheers to us for doing better...🥂
@@donnettadavis6809 sending you so much love to you beautiful!
Making space to attract better💕
@@alexandraacosta621 Yaaaassssssss!!! Can't wait to see what God has in store for us!!! To attracting better...💃🎉💥💕
It's 100% easier said than done. So many are in denial
I learned my lesson didn’t give any last words or explanation I literally just stopped calling and stop responding. He is very toxic but has that gift of gab that will have me right back in the same mess. I’m good I won’t go back either
No he didn't just say, "your goldfish gonna try you". 😂
11:50 You have to have deal breakers bc when a person sees that no matter what they do you’re going to stay they won’t have respect for you!!!
Woo Tony you dropped this video at the right time 👏🏽👏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 My ex was texting me last night trying to come back to my life and I said “No I don’t want you no more. He said his apology to me but I said “No more chances 🙅🏽♀️🙅🏽♀️, i don’t want to see you or hear from you ever in my life.” And after that I blocked him and deleted him (block ministry, holla) Thank you 🙏🏽 for “A woman’s influence” I read it front to back coupled with your videos I been watching and have been healing, knowing my self worth, and to love ❤️ myself.I know Jesus has the best thing for me. Thank you Tony and Sheri, God bless you guys.
GOOD 4U! STAY STRONG & IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF SIS❤
So proud of you sis!!! What you deserve will come your way, god bless ❤️❤️
Congratulations
Thank you 🙏🏽 guys for the encouragement
Proud of you. The BEST IS YET TO COME!!! Stay focus...
Just wanted to share this with you real quick, Tony you saved me. The day I came across your videos it was a extreme blessing. I was broken in every way but it’s like God wanted/needed me to find your channel. Since watching your videos in every way my life has elevated. You did the work in these videos and I did the work at home by following what you’ve said. So thank you so much for taking a woman who was literally ready to give up on love into a woman who is solely focused on the Lord and waiting till one day a man proves himself worthy 🤍🙌🏽 God and You saved me!!! I’m crying while writing this, because this is real life and I am doing everything I can to make sure that I become a woman with influence.
I rather wait long than marry wrong.
Goodmorning Tony Gaskins and everyone I was willing to leave my marriage after infidelity .
God bless you! You did the right thing. Some people are able to come back from
Something like that. Some cannot. I’m a person that once I been cheated on I do not go back because I know I will never trust again.
Good for you because you know your worth your a queen who deserves a king who loves and respect you like you for him blessings
Good for you! You have to show him that infidelity is unacceptable
Congratulations
The strength within you is phenomenal ❤️
It's more painful to leave than to accept breadcrumbs. That's why people stay.
Man I left my grown boy at 7 months pregnant for all of the above. Everything you could think of he did. I left and THE NEXT DAY he had a party and some female in our house. I moved 8 hrs away and have been gone going on 7 months. I still tried giving him ample opportunities to fix it so we could get back together. The last straw FOR HIM was me moving out of my parents house and getting my own space NOT WITH HIM. Now mind you he lost his job and everything when I left and is STILL on his friends couch with NO JOB. He said since I'm doing better without him then he doesn't want to work it out anymore. I went OFF I have this man's child and he mad bc I'm bettering myself and not wanting to continue living with my parents! I left and it didn't work. He just kept doing the same stuff it was just easier for him because I'm not up under him no more. So much time wasted really thinking he would change.
He is mad because you're doing better. But he doesn't realize that Karma is hitting him with no job, no home, and a broken spirit. Karma will keep hitting him until he fixes his spirit.
@@Newladyn09 yeah and that's what I figured its just sad bc ppl you care about are the ones who seem to hurt you the most. But I've learned and hopefully I can continue to strive and not worry about him.
@@Newladyn09 👏🏽👏🏽💯
Sounds like he want you to be his mother. 🤦🏽♀️Good thing you left him. Best wishes to you and your little one.
He expected you to be down and out -now it’s what’s happening to him. And you moving out of your parents place -he automatically is taking defeat because worse case scenario for him is that you’ll “meet someone “ and do what you want to do. They don’t want you flourishing
The longest I allowed a situationship was 17 days. I had to sit back & self-reflect. I truly figured out his intentions & he never really loved me. He was trying to get busy. I thank God I dodged that bullet.
This is my 3rd maybe 4th time listening to this video randomly and I'm still learning something new that I didn't process the first time.
Same here👍
Same
I haven't found fault in anything Mr. Tony said. For a long time, I thought I was wrong for breaking off a relationship with a best friend (turned boyfriend). We dated for 2 years and he said something to me I never thought he would EVER say. It was so disrespectful and broke me. I gave him space for 2 months, but I was still cordial during that time. I was working on me, trying to heal correctly and contemplate our relationship. We never got back together, which I'm happy about now. Overall, I am so thankful for that time and this video as confirmation 3 years later. Growth hurts, but is needed.
People take advantage of you if they know you are not going anywhere. Your not going to leave. If you allow people to try you they will. Some people also try you to see how much they can get away with or some people do it because that is who they are or they are trying to call your bluff. If you have to leave someone because of something he did or didn't do, do not go back and allow the actions to happen.
I literally just experienced the most confusing relationship of my life. This man pursued me for months. Studied me. Gifted me. Learned my hobbies and made travel plans for us all the time. Gained my trust just to drop me stating "we are incompatible"
All because I won't allow the disrespect of him texting a specific female friend late at night or being at her beck and call
I'm in utter shock
He liked the chase I guess then dropped me like a hot potato. I won't tolerate that. Especially since she was a brand new friend he had just met. Like what? You can't cater to her when youre trying to build with me. I'm not controlling but it was inappropriate
It was very in appropriate some men just want sneaky links on the side n trying to pretend it’s innocent
It’s not games...it’s setting boundaries!
This is absolutely correct, I’ve enabled bad behavior and it doesn’t change without a person being held accountable...
The way he imitates the women’s responses are hilarious... “O...Oo...Oow” 😂😂😂
Not leaving after someone cheating on you doesn't teach them anything, other than the fact that they can continue to take you for granted, because you don't love yourself enough to let them go.
I let him go and he cannot have me again. Yeah my hubby cheated and lied so he is solo.
I’m planning my exit plan. AND not planning to make room for another. Nothing wrong with being single. Let God. Lol
I can’t think of anyone wiser than Tony right now… 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 God bless Tony! 🩵
Tony & these voices 😩😩😭💀💀💀💀💀
brownsugarglamour lol right! I love it! I’ve been over here cracking up
Lol and love this reminder " he should feel he made a stupid mistake and he has to settle for loose booty #901....!" Thanks for sharing your wisdom and humor!
Hope you still aren't talking to him. His ego is what was calling and texting.
Just ordered “ A Women’s Influence” !! I’m so excited🤪❤️❤️
Am going to order it Tomorrow.
How much is it hun?
I just finished it..you will love it! It's a Good read!💓
@@bridgeidiot262 i got my book from target for like $18
Bridgette Sellars i can’t wait to start reading mine!
Right it's like boundaries. You have to b willing to set up boundaries even if the other doesn't like it.
BROTHER TONY!!!!!!!!!!! When I tell you these videos BLESSED MEEEEEE. Point. Blank.PERIOOOOD.
Listening to you I’m learning things about men I didn’t know
I listen to hours of your videos while doing chores, commuting etc. I feel like my brain is getting reconfigured. And I needed that. Thank you!
Sleeping with someone else...First Offense....I’m gone for good. Knowing I’ve been faithful and committed to my partner all these years?? I’ve done it already. Got cheated on after 8 years and when I found out I was like this here👉🏾 🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️Goooone!!!. That’s my standard and I’m sticking to it. Don’t care how many years we been married together have kids together, nope I’m goooone....like “PSHOOOO!!!” gone. Standards are standards. Both knew the deal from the get go so...... I’M GOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!! I don’t care what my kids or nobody else say. I’ll never cheat on my partner. And I’m married....20 years now. Yup. I’m leaving if she cheats don’t care what nobody says. And if it happened years ago and I find out about it today, I’m still GOOOOOONE. 👍🏾 WHATEVER IS DONE IN THE DARK WILL EVENTUALLY COME OUT IN THE LIGHT. So don’t mess up. Peee-reee-od!!!
My second time listening to this. I feel like everyday you should evaluate your relationship. The biggest mistake we can make as ladies is letting things slide years down the line. Check that behavior that day. Stop waiting 2yrs then saying i finally left. This was also my mistake as well. Nip the small offenses now or reap the bigger ones later. Evaluate on a daily basis!!
This man's transparency & flow is amazing.. He's always on point.. Nothing less than a King helping other Kings & Queens within God's Kingdom!! "Point blank period" ❤
🔥 This man is the truth y’all. 💯
YES HE BE TELLING THE TRUTH. HE KEEP IT REAL
The unsaid thing about this principle and self love journey we are not told is that you do truly lose a lot of people forever over it.... We are told they will come back better when we raise our standards or we will get higher quality but we are not told that for some people this means waiting for years. Think about a handsome successful guy displaying these behaviours you describe. There are millions of girls prettier than you out there on the line who will tolerate their behaviours.... Once you start setting standards for them girl they are gone. Why would they pay £10 for you when they can get you and more for £2...This is the part we havent been told. Its a high price we pay for raising our standards..... And sometimes you have to be prepared to be alone for quite sometime
More like £1.60 sis... the streets are cheap.
All that doesn't speak on the trauma, disrespect, heartache those girls will have to deal with for discounting themselves for her a man ,so yeah they didnt gain anything over us if the guy is a legit bum.
💯💯
@@sharonjohns1686 does this beat your piece of mind? I don’t think so
Peace is the win here
I had to put my weeds in CHECK in my own garden! Real talk! LOL
Omg this was such a BLESSING! It’s a whole new day, it should be illegal to put someone on this much game!
Point blank, per eee odd!!!!
I like when he says that. Is just the way he says it. Lol
🤣🤣
That's when he hit a key point lol! 🔑🙌💪
😂😂🤣
Thanks Tony! You’re giving me strength to leave a 2 year situationship.. I want real love and marriage.. I’m currently ready a women’s influence also 🙌🏻 Thank you so much for your wisdom Tony!! 🙏🏻
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