One thing I forgot to add to the discussion... it seems for many autistic adults that there is a SHIFT that happens - once you "see" autism in your life you can't "unsee" it, and the ways you used to mask now become even more painful because you innately understand what it COSTS to continue masking in certain ways. It might not be anything you can articulate with words, but you KNOW in your inner being that you simply cannot continue functioning the way you used to.
Now that I am self diagnosed, I actually feel more relaxed because I don’t feel I have to beat myself up anymore (other people did that for me verbally for years). “Why can’t you do this, and why can’t you regulate your voice and you were really dumb in school and Mom and Dad think you need to see a shrink (then gaslighting me that they never said that). Damn. Now I am going to see if I can get a legitimate diagnosis because they won’t believe me or at least tell me not to cop out with a label.
@@BipolarCourage you sound like you think you are an expert especially on this persons prior behaviour. You seem like you don’t know about or ever heard of MASKING and how exhausting it is. That is what I believe she is talking about! We don’t develop new behaviour, as women we have been masking our quirks for years things that were made fun of and point us out as being different. It isn’t being authentic and there is nothing wrong with being quirky.
Yes. It's the worst with people I see regulariy (at work for instance) but who I don't know well. I have been copying (unknowingly) behaviors and I feel trapped in the mask.
I spoke with a woman who got her diagnosis aged 80. She said it helped explain every single thing that happened to her in life which was exceptionally chaotic and she could forgive herself.
Never too late, I guess, to get something out of it. I actually amateur diagnosed my great-grandma from one fact… she kept losing cleaning jobs because she didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut, lol! Yeah, that’s not much proof, but given the fact that it runs in the family that came after her, I think it’s a fair assumption. No filters, at a time when no one even considered the possibility of neurodivergence.
Regarding explaining every single thing that happened in the 80-year-old's chaotic life, that applies to me as well. I've just got my diagnosis at 71 and my world has flipped on its axis in the most profoundly positive way imaginable. One word, "autism", and seven decades of sometimes frighteningly inexplicable behaviour suddenly have a context where it ALL makes sense!
I got it in my 50s after 3 long term relationships and it made sense of my partner’s behavior toward me and why I thought they wanted me to read their minds or thought they were conflict avoidant (versus a different style of dealing with conflict-being indirect-that I don’t pick up on)-something I couldn’t do. I never masked a lot but I was always trying to figure out why I wasn’t seen as normal by others and all I ever wanted to be was normal. So, even though I was my authentic self, I felt so much pressure to perform. How, I wasn’t quite sure.
Yup! I still have things to work through elsewise, but oh my word the feeling of “oh, I’m not an abject failure at life, I just can’t do the things always and deal with things way different.”
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I strongly suspect that I am autistic but fear this...going for an actual diagnosis and being told I am not autistic. I completely understand how a diagnosis would make someone feel an immense sense of relief.
Diagnosed at 50. Everyone says it comes as a huge relief and while it explains SO MUCH, I went into a complete identity crisis. I’ve spent my entire life trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and fix it. There’s no fix for this, other than acceptance. And I’m so angry over all the misdiagnoses and unnecessary medications I’ve been thru over the decades….
I’m 73 now, professionally diagnosed at 50. Before that with so many telling me “what your problem is…” I believed I was the problem. Discussed my diagnosis with very few and even some of those told me I was using it as “an excuse”. Thankfully now my social demands are minimal so I am able to go about my odd little life without much outside judgment.
The identity crisis is real, though at least I went through a few of those already--coming out about my sexuality, coming out about not being religious anymore--I know what a paradigm shift is like. I just never expected Aspy-ism. It is becoming more of a relief to know.
I'm 51, diagnosed at 50. For me it came as a great relief. Even if I think of all that could have been different if I was diagnosed earlier, at least I'm no longer fighting against myself. Now I have tools to feel better and avoid burn out. I understand my difference. I'm more in peace with myself. Thanks for this video, it's really well explained. Love the iceberg and the duck metaphors.
I always tell newly diagnosed adults to expect grief (and I think we need to talk about more) - not grief because we're autistic/ND but grief about all the people who missed it, who failed us, who misdiagnosed us, who blamed us. I find it's pretty inevitable we go through all those difficult memories and have *feelings* about how obvious it is to us now and how hard things were because no one was paying attention/helping or because Ableism. I think it's normal and find we work through it and it becomes less and less frustrating over time. (I'm about 5 years from my diagnosis.)
Covid lockdowns were my wake up moment, I was actually happier when everyone was FORCED to stay out of my personal space and to stay quiet. I went down the rabbit hole at that point and have learned so much since. I feels good to honor yourself for who you actually are.
I realised how isolated i already was because my life didn't change much and still hasn't. I definitely think i could be autistic and adhd (possibly cptsd) and I've been wrongly diagnosed for half my life with BPD, when i would try to talk to people who have that i didn't feel like that was right but i was always told there are 256 different combinations of symptoms and it must be right because thats what the drs said (i still had some trust to them but no longer do) i feel completely failed by my parents, mental health professionals...and have since decided that it doesn't really matter because even when i would try to explain i couldn't, only now im 30 im getting abit better with saying what i mean more but its still not how i think should be
I haven't been diagnosed but when I was learning to drive at 27, after frequent meltdowns my teacher, who was also a therapist, told me to pull over to one side of the road and asked me the simple question "have you ever been diagnosed with autism?". I mentally filed that away until I was 36 and when working in a school a coworker gave me a sheet from her daughter's autism diagnosis. I read the whole thing. It was me. It made so much sense. I cried for all those lost years. I feel like I understand myself so much better now but I have still masked and repressed myself so much that I have lost so much of who I am as a person.
Oh goodness. My heart goes out to you. I understand the pain of grieving those "lost years." It's so interesting when we see these things in our kids. Sending lots of love and peace your way.
I learned to drive when I was 36. Diagnosed at 52, after a year of getting my children diagnosed with ADHD/ASD. I wish I’d known I had autism sooner for my older two girls. The younger two are in high school. We try to make sure that all 4 of our children have their needs met in the best way for each of them.
Me two, trying to get help, cause I don't handle pressure to good, in any form. I hate to called a lier when I'm telling the truth, if I start something n someone makes a change or gets my attention, I half to in my head start all over , this I a hard time for me, cause, it takes me some time in my memory In all I go through just to see how's best way to do whatever is i got to do, figuring out I am Artistic, I was so relieved of many things in my past, like ,treating me like I was just being a bad boy,by uncles, cuisine ,nabers ,teachers classmates, much more, well here I am a mess again cause I'm not that good around anyone for a long period, cause I can't hide the real me for to long , if you look at me, you see a normal person, in reality I'm not, it's not I'm a bad person, it's all the years I've been called one. I'm 58 years old. What a hell of life to live ,to my age 58 n realizes they treated me for many disorders, I was not, and all the things the meds did to me I couldn't handle, o one would listen to me, so I got to a point where I still don't trust a lot of Doctors, when a person get a life long bad record, they will never forget in its very sad , cause I never got the real help I needed in the first place. I don't know how to talk around some people , not even today, I see what I can do with something in my head , where others go to school for same thing, I didn't learn much school, don't learn like others, so im somewhat relieved n but still the same. Crazy right.
I feel for you. All of those lost years. Yes. And the years of masking and repression that have made you feel you have lost the ability to even know who you are. I hope we can all make little strides in expressing our true selves/wants/ desires. I have a lot of self-affirmation cards from various places/times in my life. The one I'm thinking of is, " My feelings and needs are just as important as anyone else's." Others: "I am learning to let go of guilt (or shame)." "I am loveable and capable." "I fully accept and believe in myself just the way I am." "Tengo derecho a recibir amor, componsion y cuidado." From the book, "Women Food and God", "Being with feelings is not the same as drowning in them. With awareness and presence it is possible to be with what you believe will destroy you without being destroyed. It is possible to be with big heaves of feelings like grief or terror. Little waves of feelings like crankiness or sadness. The path from obsession to feelings to presence is not about healing our "wounded children." We are taking who we think we are apart. We feel the feelings because unmet feelings obscure our ability to know ourselves."
Can I ask if it is hard for autistic people to have their driving license? I am learning to do it now, at 29, and I feel totally unskilled, like it's the hardest thing I have ever done. People don't understand how am I that bad
The prospect of getting this confirmed is both exciting and terrifying. What if I test negative despite my being 99% sure? I have been feeling so ambivalent since learning about female autism because a. "omg this is me" and b. "What if I'm wrong?" Btw I hate most comment sections on yt but those under autism videos are full of thoughtful, empathetic people. Makes me feel at home.❤️
I have the same feeling about what if I’m wrong or misdiagnosed. I’ve thought that I could have ADHD back in 2020, & then autism months or so later because some/lots of things I struggle with don’t fit with ADHD. I’m pretty sure I have both but I have some moments where I think, “do I have autism?”. I then remember what I've read about it & realise, yes that is me. So therefore I do have it. I told one person, who has been in my life forever, in 2021 (before really starting to realise about autism) that I think I have ADHD. I was feeling really depressed & because she knows I’ve had depression on & off since I was a teenager, after listening to me explain the reasons why I thought I had ADHD, she said to me “I think it’s just how you’re feeling at the moment.”. Err, okay. 🤔 Anyway, since then I haven’t told anyone else just in case they say similar things & so on. 🙄 Phew, that was long! P.s. sorry if I’ve swapped between present & past tense. I do that sometimes but when I read it back I don’t know how to fix it myself.
@@alwaysforeverme3841 Oh you remind me so much of me in how you express yourself! In fact this is true for so many comments under autism videos. It's amazing! Wishing for a fast assessment and diagnosis for both of us.❤️
I found my assessment so stressful for this reason - i wanted to get the diagnosis SO much because everything fitted so exactly - i thought if they say i'm not then i REAAAALLLLY don't anywhere. but i've read so mcuh good stuff supporting the reality that if all the stuff you've read really feels so you, and fits like nothign before - that's because you are.....We dont make this up.....xxx
Once I reached that point in my research, the fear didn't diminish until I was diagnosed. I still have bouts of Imposter Syndrome, but they are significantly less often now. Even if you manage to be wrong about the diagnosis, there is still the possibility that they will know what your issue really is. If you can pursue a diagnosis, that's probably the best option.
YES YES YES! I’m 54, self diagnosed and I love this video! A couple of friends and family members have expressed “concern“ about me talking openly about my self diagnosed autism. This explains more eloquently than I could why I need to keep bringing it up. Why I keep watching videos about autism and ADHD. They can’t conceptualize what it’s like to suddenly understand myself. It’s overwhelming, exhilarating, a little bit scary, kind of all the emotions all at the same time. Autism answers so many lifelong questions: why am I not good at being a friend? Why do I have such a hard time doing certain things like returning phone calls, getting certain tasks done (that I now understand require spoons that I don’t have left), generally struggle to interact with the world the way everybody else does? It’s such a relief to finally be getting some understanding of why I am the way I am. I’m learning a lot in the process, and finding ways to overcome some of the things in my life that I find uncomfortable or challenging.
@@BeeWhistler more like I was going to somehow limit myself by “labeling“ myself. As if I were claiming to be damaged goods or was going to use it as an excuse for everything. But I’m learning that I just need to educate them more about what it really means to be autistic. We’re not broken. We don’t need to be fixed. We are different, and as such we need to approach things differently. I have a couple of doctors appointments coming up that have me a bit anxious. But some of what makes me so anxious are the bright lights and unfamiliar noises and smells. So I have a plan! I’ll wear my earplugs and my sunglasses and I’m unapologetically bringing a small stuffed animal to hold because I find that comforting. I will also add a drop or two of peppermint oil to the outside of my mask to help cover the other smells. I’m not saying overall it’s going to make the experience pleasant, but I can at least have an impact on some of the things that add would normally add to my sensory overload. I’m also making sure that the days after the appointments are free from any other responsibilities so that I have room to decompress.
@@surlespasdondine maybe I’ll change my mind later but for now, at my age, I don’t think a formal diagnosis of autism would help me. I will, however, seek guidance/clarity in my presumed adhd as that’s something that is worsening as I age and I need help in certain areas.
Being late diagnosed (41), it seems to me my closest family members are less accepting than strangers. They always knew me masking, they tend to forget all the problems (there were a lot) in my childhood that were never explained, and they don't take time to wonder about this topic. I tried to explain, at the beginning, but with no result, and I got tired of it. In the end, I'm masking a lot with my family, and less with strangers (who show more curiosity). English is not my first (or second) language, I hope it's understandable... Thank you for your videos, I like them very much !
This rings a bell. I feel that I cannot tell my family how hard it has been for me to mask, because they want to have the essy and nice masking replica and not me, who has all those troubles and anxieties.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
This rings a bell. My adult son who has been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, understands me fully sbd says that he has always seen that we are similar. But my husband and my daughter are less accommodating. My husband is saying, yes, you seem to be autistic, but what does it matter when you cope so well. He is more understanding, however, but my adult daughter thinks that his brother and I are malingering and autism and ADHD are overdiagnosed and all our oddities (social anxiety, routines, fixed interests, hypersensitivity, absent-mindedness, poor executive functioning etc.) are just human features that are common if one very intelligent (as we are). It is quite disheartening as some of my friends also talk about overdiagnosing and overmedicalization, without realizing how hard it hits us not to be have validation.
I only just got diagnosed with ADHD & ASD1 two days ago, age 41 also. I'm trying to explain to my family of origin, and I've asked them for their memories of me as a child, but they just want to dispute. "You were perfect," "I never thought of you as sick," so I have a long hard road to travel to reeducate them about what autism is and isn't, and I suspect I'll run out of spoons before I get that outcome. I've been an ADHD/ASD magnet for years, which my psychiatrist said is a quirky thing-that we tend to find each other along the path of life. Anyway, I'm still processing, but videos like this one will hopefully help my people understand better. 🤞🏻🤞🏻
I'm terrible for gaslighting myself. I had such a bad migraine on Friday that I had to leave early. I needed to be in a place without sensory input. Even then though, I was like "is it really that bad?"
I struggle with self-gaslighting A LOT, too. I've actually started removing myself from the situation at hand and instead thinking "what would my reaction be if this was my child/partner/best friend?" So for your specific situation: "would i want my loved one to stay at work with a migraine? or would i want them to come home, rest, and take care of themselves?" I find that I always seem to have more compassion for others than I do myself lol
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Talk about late, I was diagnosed at 62 after a four decade career in engineering. One of the best managers I ever had told one of our customers "you might not like what John says and you might not like the way he says it, but you have to listen to him; because he is usually right." That was two decades before I was diagnosed. The book "All cats have asperger syndrome" by Kathy Hoopmann was the key to my being diagnosed. It showed all of the things I was experiencing in the traits of cats. I have lived with and studied cats all my life. My avatar is Chips, he is my smoke Egyptian Mau. I am still trying to process all of the meaning of this diagnosis, but just knowing why I am "odd" makes a world of difference.
I relate to what you are saying. I was diagnosed at 65yo, still learning how to take care of myself after so many years masking. All my life clicked right when I recognized myself as autistic. Not easy though. Best autistic wishes 😊
ADHD diagnose at 55, ships Capt. I have no idea how I have accomplished what I have, the autism side is now a real possibility for me Medicated and happy now, though. I still have a great career, and am thriving. What we forget is how resilient we are and strong. Normies would have never made it. Chin up, smile and give yourself space to live!!!
It's also very important to note that being autistic comes with a high chance of also having other conditions like ADHD, OCD, etc. and that after we've put in the research, we usually know how our condition(s) affect(s) us very well. Respect what the person tells you, there's nothing worse than being gaslit by someone you trusted with this knowledge. The damage to both us and the relationship itself can be irreversible. I'm 27, I have worked for about 10 years of my life and yet I still use cue cards with pictures every morning and evening so I don't forget parts of my routine like brushing my teeth. I've been told by someone I can't be autistic because I "have my life under control". I don't. I work, I go to uni, but I regularly lose track of things, straight up forget appointments, deadlines and I'm tired of having to explain that I don't struggle on purpose to get attention. That wouldn't even make sense since I struggled in silence for most of my life. I've been on a journey of self-discovery for nearly 2 years now and it's hard. Grieving for what could have been is a process that might never end and I know people loving us don't want to see us struggle, but we need to work through it at our own pace. Just ignoring trauma (that most of us have due to, e.g., being told our experiences are invalid for most of our life) doesn't work, it's a recipe for mental illness.
You said a really bag mouth full , it is very true, I feel your pain, pray for you, n accepting your life n finding ways to deal n see life is changing n challenging, your not a bad person, it's the cards we where delt, I couldn't tell you these words a few months ago, im just being dinoust, spelling not good, so hopefully you can understand if word is closed
I have 7 children whom I homeschooled for years. The stress that caused broke my marriage. I coukdnt explain how I could literally look at my calendar the evening before or the morning of, only to later completely space a doctor or dentist or Parent teacher appointment and find myself at the park w my kids oblivious
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Self diagnosed here but feel I MUST get a clinical diagnosis to combat the pushback and disbelief I will inevitably get from my entire family. It feels like an impossible mountain to climb. This autism realization has thrown me into an identity crisis, I do not feel any relief in knowing. I feel angry about how hard it’s going to be to get everyone to believe me.
Update, I have an appointment for an autism assessment next month and I’m excited and scared and still not sure how my family will react if I am officially diagnosed autistic.
@@Jewlz4everscrew em. It’s your life to live. Unless they heavily support you or there’s wealth in an estate I wouldn’t care much. My fam is the same. I don’t waste energy trying to change the one fam member we have left that is part of our immediate family. You are you. But if there’s something like resources try your best and fluff off the rest.
@@crumesd it went well and I received my official diagnosis. My family has been mostly supportive so it’s been a relief. But I’m still struggling with this new identity and grieving what I perceive to be the loss of my old self.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 20s and it changed my life. 20 years later I've learned that I'm also autistic and suddenly the struggles I've had over the course of my entire life have become so crystal clear. It's like a new sunrise and suddenly being able to see the entire landscape. Thank you so much for this video and the wonderful summation of so many of the things I've been feeling over the past year since discovering my difference
I was diagnosed as ADD at 28, and it explained a lot, but still did not feel quite the right fit. Being on the Spectrum of Autism fill in a lot of holes. Unfortunately my primary care giver said No, to sending me for diagnosis 😑😔
I was diagnosed ADHD about 30 years ago and it answered many questions, but am now investigating autism diagnosis and hope that it will answer a lot more.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
When you said “a piece of the puzzle” I thought - it’s like we have been trying to put a puzzle together but the plain, back side up. Then, we get this word (autism) for why life has been so hard and flip the puzzle over and suddenly it all makes sense.
I'm 57. I was formally diagnosed less than a year ago. Everything you say here rings true. I sum it up like this: Autism a semi-rare nuerological condition that requires support. You can't get support for autism if you don't know you are autistic. The reason I sought formal diagnosis was to confirm my own research and self asessemnt, the suggestion by others that I might be on The Spectrum. The formal diagnosis confirmed level 1 autism. I was born autistic and I'll die autistic. Like every human being on earth I have strengths and weaknesses and sensitivities and insensitivities. Like every other human being on earth I struggle to communicate my thoughts and feelings to other people. The difference lies in the character and intensity of these sensory, social, and commucation abilities and deficits. My profile is extreme because I am autistic. If my needs are suppoprted I'm able to connect with and participate in the world and contribute profoundly beautiful things. Before I knew I was autistic, the world was a hostile and threatening place to me. It still is - but I no longer hold myself responsible for it. That my Autistic friends, makes ALL the difference. My current self care dictum is this: "Don't fight your autism. Lean into it." Autism is a force of nature. Fighting with your own autism is like having an emotional autoimmune disease.Self attacking self. But there's a way out. Embrace your autism. Welcome it as the beautiful gift it is. You are EXCEPTIONAL! Yes - exceptional. You are here because human evolution selected for you. You and the genes you carry confer a survival advantage to our species becuase of your autistic gifts and other traits. Don't blam autism for the abuse and confusion and pain you feel. Blame ignorance and human cruelty. Not autism. Without autism there's be no great art. No science. No engineering or poetry or architecture or music. Autistic people are responsible for most of the most imporant advances in human history. Sir Issac Newton. Nietsche, Albert Einstien - all autistic from what I know about them. Following this new autism positive paradgym has resulted in the greatest period of personal growth, insight, and creatiove productivty of my life. Try following your autistic muse, and see what happens. If you are at all like me, your inner life will get better. MUCH better. As long your support and sensory needs are being met, and you have food, shelter and clothing, you'll find youself in the promised land. So lean into it! It is a matter of survival. Remove anyone from your life who's not 100% supportive. They are dangerous to your wellbeing. Demand love and support from those around you, and give them love and respect in return - but only under circumstances of mutuality. And remeber: Actions speak louder than words.
I am an introvert. I love quiet time and social interactions, although I enjoy them, wear me out. I also hate background noise. How do I know whether or not I have autism?
This post is from a year ago so I have no I idea if you will see my response, but I need to say it anyhow. I am waiting for my formal diagnosis and my thoughts are so very overwhelming right now. I want to thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I do not know what this process will do to my life, but I have found great comfort in your observations. Blessings Elizabeth
Being late diagnosed as well (28, nearly 33 now) the most important thing is getting to the stage where you begin to feel like you're getting "more" autistic in your understanding of yourself and coping. You've touched on that topic in a prior video I recall, but for anyone here in the comments, that stage is incredibly important because that is a hallmark that you're actually finally beginning to live your authentic self and letting go of masking and habits you've internalized that prevent you from loving yourself. It took me four years to get to that point and in the past year I've finally begun to delve into hobbies, and able to focus really intensely and make incredible feats of learning and progress in those hobbies (painting, in my case) which I felt was literally impossible to me in the past. I may have to schedule more things and manage my reactions to things more carefully but I would never want to return to the ignorance I lived under before this. I was experiencing panic attacks on a near daily basis, flirting with high blood pressure and putting myself at risk of heart attacks and stroke from intense anxiety and stress. I am much happier and able to be present in my life and look on the future with some measure of optimism. I wish that for everyone, neurodiverse or not.
How have you managed your anxiety after being diagnosed? I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack from mine. It can't be good for me to feel this way all the time but Dr's refuse to give medication to help.
@@nancyhonea1935 I spent two years on SSRIs and working with a psychologist to understand what causes the biggest upsets and getting in touch with what relaxes me so I can slowly build up my stimming behavior and self regulation and anticipate problems which ordinarily would trigger panic attacks. It takes a lot of introspection and reflection. I spent several months just recording how I felt mentally, physically, and emotionally every day on a sliding scale with notes on what happened that day to get a better idea of how I responded to things, when my self care dipped, and what recovery times were like. It helped open my eyes a lot and that knowledge has helped me to manage so much more. Even so, everyone is different and you may have comorbid conditions. You may need medication for anxiety long term. I didn't, but it is definitely something to discuss with both a PCM and a mental health professional you trust and potentially see regularly. I needed mine to get over the initial bump because I had other physical mental issues which caused a lot of chaos which meant a lot of overstimulation and panic. Once that was dealt with and things normalized and my psych and I felt I had a good handle on things I weened off slowly and now am off SSRIs entirely and doing ok. There's still bad days, fairly often anxiety spikes, but rarely full on attacks anymore.
@@nancyhonea1935 They don't want to treat your symptoms like anxiety? Do you have the ability to get a new doctor? If you're in a legal marijuana state, med cards are often given to folks with Autism because of the terrible anxiety. The point being that a good doctor will try to help where they can in a professional way.
What a mouth full of truth , same with me, I'm not hiding anything anymore, I love being free of hiding what I felt was me all my life , today I'm just being me , no matter others think.
I‘m in the middle of the process of getting my diagnosis, I’m 19. I’ve never felt so understood before. I can’t wait to get my diagnosis. Thank you for raising awareness to autism. It means a lot to me
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
How did you find the process? I'm at the start,being referred for ASD possibilities but does it make sense that I feel I have been all my life? Hope all is well X
Thanks. Listening was comforting. I'm 71 years old. I live in California. My psychologist works for a medical corporation that does not do diagnostic evaluations for folks my age, but rather places the focus on behavioral and pharmaceutical interventions to address symptom relief. I have shared my belief that what has been at the root of my problems is ASD. I've received support in doing boundary work and practicing DBT and acting as if I have an ASD diagnosis. I use videos such as yours to provide the external validation I now recognize I have craved. As I continue taking responsibility for understanding myself and attending respectfully to my needs, my hope is that my ability to relate empathetically and respectfully with others will increase. Thank you for sharing your work.
I’m so sorry you’ve had such a long wait to get answers, and that you have been blocked from getting a diagnosis! I hope you can get the support you need ❤️
I hope you have or will read books from Temple Grandin. She’s probably the most influential person with autism ever, but definitely for your age group. She’s so encouraging to listen to and watch.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I LOVE that you made this video to discuss adult diagnosis!!!! YAS!! On another recent video, someone mentioned their psychiatrist told them it wasn't "worth it" to pursue diagnosis, and I thought that advice was so sad :( Because ND, esp. autism, has historically been so stigmatized, I think professionals still default to this type of thinking. They *think* these labels are bad and harmful to individuals, but in reality, diagnosis often has the opposite effect. Accurate diagnosis is often the first step toward greater self-awareness, resources, and meeting other ND folks to develop a sense of community. I wish NT folks understood that people who *are* ND experience the signs, symptoms and effects of the condition(s) *regardless of diagnosis*. This is why diagnosis is usually a joyful occasion for us!! It’s not the end of being neurotypical-we never WERE neurotypical-it’s the beginning of finally understanding ourselves.
This happened to me. Several medical professionals told me, that I don't need the diagnosis. Since I am married, studied and have a good job there is no need for it. They couldn't be more wrong! Now I am able to officially insist on accommodations and support I need. I am able to live life as I need it, not like the others want me to live it. But most importantly, I have words to describe my inner experience and speak up for myself. Yes I am "more" autistic now, but I never ever before felt more like me. I won't go back! So true I can't make it unseen and I dont want to. I want to see.
Yes, I'm not feeling more autistic now that I'm wife-diagnosed and self-diagnosed, but I am consciously (and sometimes unconsciously!) working to drop masks, and it lets others really see me--I now know to explain my ND thought processes to my wife, and she sees more deeply into my interoception, my masking, my inability to start things or work side-by-side with her, my inability to get out of the house, the drain that comes with every human interaction.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
One more thing that I wish our families and friends would understand: we need you! your understanding, love, respect, insight and reflection. so much of what we go through every day happens at the intersection of our lives with that of others - the more you understand and learn about autism the easier it becomes for us to find our footing in this world. I‘m very blessed with kind and understanding people in my life and my heart breaks every day for my friends in the community who have to deal with constant dismissal and disrespect by the people who are supposed to love them the most. So if someone you know tells you about possibly being autistic: please honor their trust in you! listen to what they have to say without judgement. maybe look into the sources they will inevitably supply you with. and also: keep it to yourself - it‘s not your place to tell others about it.
@Totally Autsome Life Coaching in my case it‘s so weird because a lot if not most of my close relations show nd traits - I think it‘s why I flew under the radar for so long because among them I wasn‘t so different. today most of them identify as hsp, one as asd. all of them are well adjusted into adult life however, while I started struggeling in high school. I think because my family is closer to nd than nt they sometimes don‘t understand why I can‘t deal where they can. some also seem to think that my giftedness should make up for my autistic issues. and again: my family is awesome, respectful and accomodating where so many aren‘t. I guess it‘s just part of the human condition that we struggle to understand what we don‘t know ourselves - and sadly, some just refuse to make a concious effort. also: I do love my brain and the person it makes me! doesn‘t mean I don‘t struggle though. both things can be true at the same time 😊
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I was diagnosed almost a year ago at 27, after knowing I was autistic for a few months before that. It's made a world of difference in ways I still struggle to unpack. It's like I finally got the permission to stop striving to be "normal," whatever that even means. I understand myself better. I can accept my limitations and accommodate them instead of berating myself for them. It's so huge and so important.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
My late diagnosis, 6 years ago, was truly cathartic and I told the PhD., "the dots connected!' I have had peace of mind since and like you said Taylor, I realized that I have been doing a good job of masking all my life which was exhausting! Unfortunately I tried to share my diagnosis with my sisters, nieces and nephews, but they informed me that they wished to move on from me. It was disappointing for awhile but I came to the conclusion that I have to live "my life" and this is all about me, and that isn't selfish either. Great to be part of this wonderful community!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
In the past, when I struggled, I would occasionally reach out to my two older sisters. Keep in mind that they would go beyond what I needed, I wasn't diagnosed or they understood, and it was overwhelming. I was divorced, had to sell my house, and conscientiously gave up my car for public transportation. These factors I am guessing are the reasons why they moved on. They are more materialistic than myself, and when I asked my.one sister who is married to a therapist, if she has researched the Autistic Spectrum, she replied that they both viewed the HBO.show Temple Grandin. They both shared with me that they struggle with severe depression and this gave me the perspective why they moved on.
I am 46 years old and due to the worst bout of depression I have ever experienced was led to discover that I am autistic in severe burnout (self diagnosed)I am into my 3rd year of this depression/burnout and am still having a very difficult time recovering. Most days I feel like “I’m not going to make it” because I have no idea who/what to be…all I know is I can’t keep being the me I have been-which you articulated so well in your comment after the video. I am in a place of nothingness-and not sure how to get out. I am always just so tired and every little thing feels so hard. This is a strange place for me to be as I have previously been very successful,raised 2 amazing humans and almost felt superhuman in pushing through obstacles to not even being able to do the most basic of tasks. I just try to remember that nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass and I will eventually figure things out…thank you for expressing so beautifully so much of my own internal experience.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Having the verbage has made a huge difference! To have the words to describe to others my experiences and to talk myself through tough times has helped so much! Thanks Taylor for another thoughtful video! 💞
Yep, there's so many things that I've done over the years that seem to be completely logical to me, but I'd look around and like nobody else was doing it. I finally know that in most of those cases, it's because my needs are just a bit different. Autistic traits will bubble to the surface no matter what we do, but I do think that it's often better to just accept it, if it's safe to do where we're at.
My loved ones say I'm sensitive and "different" just like my father. I never knew my father. It's interesting that we would be so similar without having a relationship. Unless, he passed the gene to me. He was never diagnosed. I have decided to seek a diagnosis at age 35.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
My reality has changed so dramatically. The awareness bringing the subconscious to the conscious mind after 20 years and learning other people are like me is just life changing. I feel so much less alone now. I have words for things. It’s been a crazy journey.
Describing it as your whole view of life locking into place is perfect! Me realizing that I'm autistic has shifted so much in my life! Especially accounting for my sensory needs whether that's avoiding sensory stuff that bothers me like loud noises or engaging with sensory stuff I like for example really soft fabric or certain songs, etc. That's been HUGE for me. I've given myself so much more grace since figuring it out. And it's been huge in understanding why I have constant miscommunication with my non-autistic partner so our arguments have diminished SO much.
Diagnosed at 41. I spent most of my adult life in addiction. I didn't understand why I kept on going back to things that kept me drowning. It wasn't until my diagnosis that I understood everything. The need to run away from myself. I been sober going on 5 yrs. After the diagnosis, it strengthened my desire to stay away from substances. I can't describe why it worked that way. I just feel everything makes sense now. Sadly, I feel sharing my diagnosis with my mother made her more emotionally distant than she already was. She stopped asking about my emotional well-being after the diagnosis. She chalks everything to depression. Autism was too much for her to handle. My nephew is on the spectrum and presents differently. It's easier for her to talk about his autism because its more obvious compared to mine. My feelings are still hurt though. I still feel invisible to her.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I cried this entire video. You said so many things that I’ve thought, and you just validated those thoughts. I’m self-diagnosed and going through severe imposter syndrome. You just helped me, because now I know I want a diagnosis. The fear of being invalidated is less now ❤
Imposter syndrome sucks. I was just officially diagnosed after years of believing I was on the spectrum but because I feel like my ADHD (dx since childhood) impacts me more and the evaluator used the MIGDAS instead of the ADOS, I keep doing self assessments and watching all the videos because I feel like “but what if it’s still wrong, what if it’s really just all ADHD”… hopefully you come to terms with it soon and accept what you know is true.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
That was so incredibly well put. Almost a year ago I’ve found myself finding the strength to finally tell my best friends my discovery that I am autistic. That night I was so overwhelmed that I literally said I explain it to you guys later but suffice to say I’m not in a good place right now, here’s the short answer for why and I’ll talk to you guys soon with the details. Then I just never did. there were little things that have come up for sure but I have yet to sit down and be like this is what autism is for me this is how it differs from both of my kids and everyone else. this is why I’m having such a hard time coping with thing… Just the everything about how I’m feeling. I’m gonna send them this video and then I’m gonna ask for like an hour long FaceTime call where we can sit together and I can actually talk to them about it. This video gave me a lot of strength because I’ve been wanting to do this but it’s such a huge under taking it’s always felt too big and how do I start? they haven’t done the years of research, they know the stereotypes that everyone else does, now I want and need to introduce them to autistic me. Thank you for making this vide!!!
Be sure to let them know the positives of "groups having outliers", any non neurotypical who is a respected member, although being markedly different, of their community, is providing sufficient behavioural and cognitive flexibility to the group to actually enhance the group, forestalling stagnation, or excess deadening automation etc But, they must be allowed to be authentic to perform that function. Is that any help?
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I am 59 and just nor realizing I am autistic. It was such a relief to finally admit that it fits. It explains so many of my experiences as a child and young adult, who was struggling so much to find my place in the world. I have been called different, overly sensitive, and weird my entire life and as I hit my forties, I no longer worried about being different. I became much more comfortable in my own skin. However, then my husband of 35 years passed away in 2021 and it turned my life upside down. I am just now starting to rework my life. It’s been a very challenging time, but accepting my diagnosis has made it easier.
I just had a total sensory overload being falsely accused and screamed at in front of coworkers and walked out to avoid a breakdown which ultimately happened when I got wrote up and told I wasn’t yelled at…this video has been the single most impactful video I can relate to almost 100%
It's interesting how you said the mental chatter subsided. I'm 39, discovered my autism just a year ago, and just received my official diagnosis. It's been blowing me away lately that I've been mentally monologing a lot about how I function, as if to "explain myself" to others. And the remarkable thing is that I recognize I was actually explaining very specific autistic traits, BEFORE I knew anything about autism.
I found your channel a year ago. I was looking for information as I think my 47 year old daughter may be autistic; I am 73. As I listened to your vlogs I started to feel as though I was in another world. Not only did it all make sense about my daughter, it also blew my mind that I could personally relate to all of the signs! All my life I have wondered why I feel like a stranger in every setting I encounter. I’ve wondered why I spend so much time pretending to be interested in things other women my age seem to do. I’ve wondered why I’ve forced myself to invite people into my home whilst feeling anxious, afraid and panicky. I’ve tried to talk myself out of how anxious I feel for no apparent reason and why my brain insists on landing on a thought like Velcro with no way to release it. I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, GAD and possible ADHD many years ago, and been in therapy with a wonderful psychiatrist for a very long time, but he knows nothing about autism in adults, which he freely admits. Taylor, in a previous vlog you mentioned a therapist/naturopathic doctor named Natalie Englebrecht. I looked her up and discovered that not only is she in my country (Canada), but only 30 km away from where I live. I’m in the midst of working on her questionnaire and psychometric tests. I would not have found out about her if not for you. Thank you very much for all your posts and excellent information.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Your channel popped up randomly in my feed a few days ago and the moment I started watching the first video, I immediately felt a HUGE sense of relief. I'm 34, undiagnosed, but I 110% relate to every single thing you've said in every video I've watched so far. I could cry tears of happiness at the overwhelming sense of relief I'm feeling right now. I'm so fortunate to have come across your channel and I just want to thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone and that others feel this way, and what it actually means. The world has felt so dark for so long and you've really shed a light for me and given me hope. I'm going to continue watching and hopefully get a formal diagnosis soon. Thank you again! 😁🤗🤗
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
As someone who's becoming more and more aware of my neurodivergence at nearly 40, this is a really helpful take. I am not assigning a particular name to my differences at this point, though some aspects of Autism, OCD, and ADD all resonate with my experience. The "self-gaslighting" has been such a struggle for me and I have judged myself harshly and had a lot of anxiety around being judged for things being hard for me that are apparently just normal and easy for others. It's a journey I'm still on. Thanks for making this video!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Love this, Taylor! I consider myself neurodivergent with Autistic traits (until dx maybe someday). One of my mantras for 2023 is “Honor Your Sensory Needs.” These things I have labeled “treats” for myself give me so much joy. I am making them more a priority this year ❤️
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I am 29 and am questioning if I am autistic. What you said really related to me. One reason I think I have a hard time even seeing myself as possibly autistic is because other people do not because I am so seemingly functioning. But also my little sister has autism. I now know we have a lot of similarities but she is not high masking, high functioning. Since it was my role to take care of her and because I am so familiar with her struggles, I tell myself that I couldn’t be because she is the example of what autism is and like you mentioned I felt that she needs the help so why would I take that away from her by seeking my own diagnosis? Those are the thoughts I have at least. Now I know that autism can express in different ways but I still have some self discovery to do and see if seeking a professional opinion would be beneficial or not for me. Whether I have autism or not, your videos have really helped me navigate my own struggles and put terms to things that I used to just hate myself for. I’m learning and growing in confidence in my own skin everyday though. Thank you!😊
I don’t think your diagnosis would take anything from autistic people who have higher support needs! For one, they would have already gotten their assessments and accommodations. Finding places to assess adults is difficult. Accommodations are also not limited. For example, my accommodations (not for autism DX, but related) were simply having extra time to take tests in a different space. Your sensitivity is commendable, but I don’t think you should feel guilty! You also sound like a great sister.
@@gigahorse1475 Once I realized I was autistic (very late), I realized that my best friend in high school was also autistic. He was "high masking"; I was not. That eventually broke up the friendship, since he conformed to "perceived social expectations" to an almost crazy degree, while I embraced my weirdness. Back when, I just thought he was just a cowardly conformist. But now I see it as masking. We were both like junior anthropologists--analyzing everyone else's behaviors and motivations. I now realize that we did this because people's behavior was utterly baffling to us. He tried to mimic normal behavior. I realized that wouldn't work, and just started winging it and hoping for the best. I remember him telling me once that he had a dream where a UFO landed and the ETs came up to him and said "It's time to go home." Curiously, my own vanity plate for about 10 years was Klaatu, the name of the extraterrestrial in The Day the Earth Stood Still. So I think we were friends because we were so alienated from everyone around us that we felt like aliens.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Would you believe that I am 78 years old and just recently realized from watching videos and researching it that I have ASD. It explains my whole life for sure. It is such a relief to know that I am not a bad person who really needs to work on herself, but an autistic person who has done really well considering. I am coming to believe that people who are described as being a perfectionist and a control freak are really just autistic, trying to control the chaos.
52 years and finally getting a diagnosis. Having the vocabulary to FINALLY explain to others what has been going on inside my entire life. That is why diagnosis is so important. People who don't experience this would never understand how life changing a diagnosis ASD has been for me. 2.5 months post diagnosis. Its like having a new birthday.
I’m to petrified to pursue a diagnosis… but I am not doing well mentally, I’m so burnt out. I’m past the age of 50 and I just need to hang in there until I can retire. I’m in a much more demanding job than I was last year, and I don’t want to lose it because I couldn’t keep pace. There is no one in my circles that understands the stress that I’ve been under. I want to thank you so much for this channel. It helps just knowing what is going on with me…and…that I’m not the only one out there who has lived their entire life, not understanding why they have been struggling all these years.
I could’ve made this exact video word for word. I have had all of these feelings and thoughts. It really does change everything for the better. My diagnosis saved my life.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I just discovered my autism this week. I am 38 years old and I cannot believe that it took me this long to even consider it! My whole world has changed.
I just turned 53 in February, and I was diagnosed at age 53 with Asperger syndrome complicated by severe depression (now just referred to as "ASD," "major depressive disorder," and "anxiety disorder," "with 'possible' PTSD" now that the original psychiatrist only works with children. I was so happy to find your channel (video "How Stimming Changed My Life") early this morning! I knew there were others like me because someone wrote a nonfiction book about what it's like to be diagnosed as an adult before I quit procrastinating and did it, LOL. I've also seen a few shows on Netflix and Prime Video that involved people on the spectrum. You are the first person, however, who seems to say the and do the most things to which I can relate. Yay! (I'm a toe curler, too! And, when my dad wouldn't let me stay in the nursery during church anymore, and my leg would start to bounce during church, he'd put a gentle but firm hand on my knee and say quietly, "Stifle." [We just lost him June 2022, to Alzheimer's-type dementia. I am certain he went his entire life with undiagnosed spectrum disorder, as well as severe depression. He was everybody's favorite dentist/Boy Scout master, and he could be really fun and silly, but when he was out in hot weather and his body was overheated or he was having trouble with some kind of mechanical repair (especially if springs or Cotter pins were involved) he could be very frightening to be around. And once I was diagnosed, I understood it wasn't entirely his fault. He, of course, refused to go to any appointments with me unless it was under the guise of being for me. As soon as the questions started being turned toward him, he'd say, "I thought we were here to talk about (my daughter)." Two therapists and one psychiatrist tried. All failed.]) I was finally able to talk to Dad in the last few months of his life. We were lucky because he remembered who and what we were to him until he started to get so dermatologically (not the nursing home's fault--part of dementia) and sometimes mentally agitated Hospice had to sedate him. Part of what helped me realize he had dementia (I was the first to see it) was my subscription to Brain & Life Magazine (free hard copy and online), which I had because of my epilepsy and neuropsychological conditions. I always read it cover to cover, though, because I find the human brain fascinating. As I was reading an article on Alzheimer's and dementia one day, I had all kinds of "Whoa!" moments, sort of like you speak of having after an adult diagnosis (another thing to which I and many of my adult relatives can relate, except those--*cough* my brother *cough* who think "labels" are things to avoid like pandemics--oh, wow, don't get me started on the "Mr. Spock" of the family.) But, that magazine is what led to Dad's early diagnosis--well, it and my continued insistence that Mom advocate and tell their doctor it wasn't just his hearing loss or the UTI because the changes had been happening for a while. If it weren't for that magazine and dad finally seeing a neurologist, we wouldn't have had him for as long as we did or as neurologically intact as we did. As far as diagnosis of Asperger's: Even after my initial diagnosis, as I said, that psychiatrist closed the adult part of her practice and basically left me high and dry. The person to whom I was referred considered Asperger's to be Psychiatrist A's "pet diagnosis" (his exact words) and told me after talking to me for 10 minutes that I didn't have it, proceeding to diagnose me with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, a diagnosis generally reserved for teenagers. (Um, hello?) He then said if I insisted on "this Asperger's thing," he'd send me for psychoanalysis. The person who gave me the test rushed me on the questions, which you and I both know cannot possibly deliver accurate results for someone on the spectrum. (We're talking multiple choice questions involving "what would you do" scenarios, as well as either/or questions of the same type. There were also spatial relation questions and "click the button every time the figure appears on the screen" tests.) The very first paragraph of the results read, "This patient does not have Asperger's (Oh, I forgot to mention the neuropsychiatrist ordered a psychoanalysis specifically to "rule out" Asperger's.)," and then proceeded to describe several typical signs of Asperger syndrome I exhibited. Oh, it also said later in the report I would likely have future entanglements with law enforcement. (I was always the tattletale in school growing up. Yeah, right.) Guess that was picking up on the tendency to disrespect authority figures who treated me like garbage? Because there had been a recent history of that. But, I knew better than to mouth off to law enforcement. Even though I'm a white female, I was taught in driver's ed to say, "Yes, sir/ma'am," "No, sir/ma'am," in response to every question when pulled over or otherwise dealing with police, and to always ask before moving your hands from view. And, because one of my anti-seizure meds dilates my pupils, police assume I'm on illegal drugs when they see me (local officers, anyway), so I have to be extra careful not to incite reactionary-ism. I finally found agreeable care in a psychiatric nurse at one of the three local community mental health care practices, believe it or not. She listens, she lets me choose whether or not to add meds (for the depression/anxiety, not the ASD), and she doesn't argue with any past diagnoses (other than the oppositional defiant disorder, and past pre-Asperger's diagnoses of OCD and ADD). She even jokes around with me, calling us "(milestone) sisters" because we share so many things in common once we reached that milestone. I sincerely hope most others who are diagnosed as adults get their diagnosis and meet it with pride (it means you're really smart, no matter what you've been told in the past on your report card!) and enthusiastic research mode instead of turtle denial mode or, worse yet, denial mode. My mom's eldest surviving sister, once she "accepted" that she too might have it (she already knew she had a genius IQ--something I don't have), all of the sudden became all nicey-nice to me, after first telling me she didn't want to discuss what was "wrong with us" when Mom and I were trying to tell Grandma about my diagnosis. I'm still trying to forgive her for shutting me down before I could tell Grandma, and then suddenly changing her tune about Asperger's after Grandma had passed. (This particular aunt and I are currently in a holding pattern over another interference matter. This time, though, I'm "taking away her power," as my therapist puts it, no matter how hard she tries to keep it. Tell me I'm not a safe driver and get the entire family worried about Mom and me going on a trip to help my recently widowed aunt, your own sister, will you? Think again! From now on, she doesn't get to know our travel plans, and those who do will be under orders not to share them with her "because she apparently can't handle the stress anymore" [is how we'll word it].) But, boy, is it hard to be kind when people say such unkind things about you, even if they say it's out of concern and even if they say, "I sent you gas money!" To which I should have immediately replied, "My dad gave me hand-me-down vehicles and then used them as bargaining chips to get me to help him do work up north." She will get the point immediately because she and Dad had such an enmity that she asked Mom not to bring Dad to Grandma's funeral(!). Yeah. That's what she's like. Oh, wow, have I gone all egocentric tangential verbosity here. Sorry. I've had a bad cold for a few days that's cost me a lot of sleep at night, which has caused me to miss my antidepressant a lot. When that happens, I get rant-y and/or reflective. I've managed to avoid being awful to my mom (I moved in with her to keep a closer eye) so far, but looking at this comment tells me I've got to get back to my meds right quick. Oh! A little bit more about my original psychiatrist! The one who diagnosed me with Asperger syndrome? She saw me three times before diagnosing me, as well as having me get a blood test to rule out a thyroid disorder (developed hypothyroidism later) and an MRI to rule out something to do with the pituitary gland. Also of note, I doubt it was her "pet diagnosis" because she had brochures about ADD and ADHD on the table in her reception area. Anyway, she said there is no medicinal cure for Asperger syndrome (circa 2005); there are medicines to treat symptoms manifested by it, but the syndrome itself has no current cure. She told me if a doctor or anybody else ever tries to prescribe me something specifically for the Asperger syndrome, to leave and never return because that is malpractice. She did say if someone remains undiagnosed until adulthood, they can develop mental illness or even psychoses as their brain tries to deal with the stress of adapting to its environment. If those develop (most common are depression, anxiety, OCD [on top of the ASD-related compulsions and foci of interest], and/or ADD/ADHD), those do require medication almost always. She also said whenever someone on the spectrum receives a mental illness or especially a psychosis diagnosis, they should always get a second or even third opinion to confirm and never at the same facility or its affiliates. Just ask for a copy of the records (your right) and go to the next doctor until you get at least a 2/3 result. (I'd recommend 3/3 for psychosis diagnoses, as those meds can have much heavier side effects.) Also, with every new psychiatrist seen, be sure they know you've been diagnosed with ASD and it's the only diagnosis you've found that fits you best. You are the patient, and no one knows your body or brain better than you. *safe hugs and butterfly wings*
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I'm still awaiting my autism assessment after more than 2 years but researching and learning more about autism and especially how different people experience it has helped me grow and mature a lot. I've been way more accepting of my true personality and thus have been able to be more authentic over the years in different contexts. This can mean telling people my struggles in big social environments and asking them if they could accommodate for it, not being too harsh on myself if I've found certain social settings quite hard to manage, finding more optimal environments to study, better scheduling for my days, and especially remembering some of the amazing strengths of autism and applying that in everyday life (shoutout to that video of yours from a while ago on autistic strengths).
I'm following and just requested an appointment with a designated psychiatrist for diagnosis. Thank you for referring to the autistic strengths video, I will search for it. Would you please be able to describe what you mean by telling people your struggles in big social environments and asking them if they could accomodate for it? One of my hardest struggles is in the workplace. Is that the kind of environment you are talking about? I'd love to hear more about this part of your story, if that is ok. Thanks.
@@sharonagoren6751 I'd let them know that if I leave early it's because I might be too overwhelmed by the loud environment so they might try and make sure that it's not too loud. I would tell some people that I much prefer 1 to 1 conversations rather than in big groups and so people would be aware of it and would be fine to have a 1 to 1 convo with me rather than to always be engaged in the social group discussion. There was one time I told someone I'd prefer not to do small talk and they were fine with that and we had a nice long conversation about Maths. It's mainly in the social setting with friends. As for work (I'm still a student), I've been able to access study environments that are quiet and big so I can focus a lot better. I hope that answers the question.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
5:48 really hit the nail on the head for me, I think I am on the spectrum, there’s to many traits I’ve heard about that remind me of myself, I’ve found myself laughing at jokes I don’t understand since I can remember
Thank you for this, I got so much out of it. My assessment is scheduled for the end of March, and I’m pretty nervous about it. I keep having this fear that they’ll tell me I’m obviously not autistic and that I’m just trying to make excuses for my life. But what you said about the controversial nature of word “autism” and how no one is really wanting to run around saying they are autistic was especially helpful. It made me consider what the likelihood is that a neurotypical person would even be seeking an autism diagnosis for themselves. It’s a lot to consider and think about.
You're welcome. I have a Diagnostic Process playlist that might be helpful for you as you prepare for your assessment. ua-cam.com/video/J9TTW83NYHI/v-deo.html It really helped me to write out why I felt I qualified for the diagnosis, and this helped my provider as well. I would recommend going off of the DSM-5 criteria and supporting each bullet point with information from your life. I've got a video that walks you through it. Hope this helps.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Last week, one of my children was officially diagnosed. My test scores were exponentially higher than theirs. So in my mid 50s, I just found out that I’m on the spectrum. I have education, training and experience in the field of counseling and abnormal psychology. Self-tested and diagnosed until I get in. I’ve had one friend in childhood and I have no friends in adult. I always knew I was different, but I didn’t put the pieces together or even start a few years ago. but now it all makes so much more sense. Thank you for what you do
6:15 yes! This basically describes me. A few years I was struggling so much, I reached a point where I couldn't really keep going. I was depressed and in a state of constant burnout. Eventually I realized I am on the spectrum and am still seeking an official diagnosis. I feel like a lot of undiagnosed adults live their lives until there is just too much demand and things just aren't working out for them because their autistic. They reach the point where they just can't keep going on the same way.
Yes exactly, and I think this also plays into why so many of us are unemployed/underemployed. We don't know how to understand or communicate our needs so we can't even begin to advocate for ourselves or ask for accommodations. Understanding ourselves is CRUCIAL to moving forward and living a fulfilling life.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Hey…I have been gaslighting myself to the point of abuse. I was a dancer and in the entertainment world for most of my life. That lifestyle is akin the world of athletes….it’s all about “tough love” and “if you haven’t puked, you aren’t working hard enough.” Nothing gets you more respect than showing up to rehearsal even though they KNOW you are injured. We were rewarded for it. I was so proud of that mindset, because it really makes you feel confident and accomplished…working through the pain…we even learned to embrace pain (weird, I know…but I know I’m not the only one😅)…..but outside of training, it is toxic, af. Telling myself to “stop being so dramatic”, or, “quit being a 😼 and get over it” are things I am striking from my internal lexicon. It is like de-programming after escaping a cult. I am so blessed to have a my hubby around to stop me when I “tough loving” myself for things like being too tired to work, forgetting things, interrupting (also ADHD diagnosed)….and it has really been helping me too see how ABUSIVE I have been TO MYSELF. It has also become apparent that I have taken over the role of my mother (who is an AMAZING, intelligent woman) who has a PhD in “get over it”….which is very strong in the Black community, as we honestly do have let things “roll off your back” in general…..but it is VERY detrimental to mental, and physical health …. I am learning to be nurtur to myself. Your entire life should not look like boot camp.😂 Anyways…yeah…lots of work to do. 😬 I am treating this chapter of my life as a second childhood. Re-learning how to “human” feels like an opportunity, at times, and I am trying to lean into that. Good luck to everyone. It feels good to be *seen*.❤️🩹
I know your content is aimed primarily at women on the spectrum, however, SO MUCH of what you are saying applies to males as well. I'm 68, male, and have become quite good at masking. So good, in fact that I had fooled even myself. Yet still I couldn't figure out why (as you said) I feel so out of touch with other people, why I totally dread human contact, why my world seems foreign and separate. I am self-diagnosed - but it was so completely obvious to me, once I understood what autism was and took every manner of test, read every available book on the topic and looked honestly at myself. Your channel is the very best in content, in my opinion. Thank you.
I just called a social worker at my Dr's clinic to ask for a referral for diagnostics. I am 51 YO. Looking to solve the tension I feel and discomforts in my relationship with the world around me. Thank you for giving me the awareness! I have a little sense of relief already. I think.
Thanks for your comment Sharona! For what it's worth, I would advise making sure you schedule with a psychologist who has experience working with high fuctioning/high masking autistic adults. I have a lot of suggestions and referrals for you in the Big Autistic Resource Guide, which you can download for free here: www.momonthespectrum.life/the-big-autistic-resource-guide
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Just got the green light today moving my autism diagnosis forward. Now I just need to wait. My biggest hope becoming a late diagnost autistic is no longer feeling like a broken person.
OMG I have literally been using that ducks on the water analogy to describe myself all my life! After a lifetime of feeling like nobody really understood how hard life is for me, getting a formal diagnosis of Autism in my 50s is like being born again! So much so that I’m seriously thinking of changing my birthday celebration to my diagnosis date!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Im not diagnosed but I know I’m autistic. Finally at 44 my whole life makes sense. All the decisions I’ve made , how many jobs I’ve had, why I love working by myself, the sensory overload, all the things!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
right now only my mother and husband know about the autism. I am 39 and discovered this about myself this year. This week was the hardest but now I understand why. I attended my grandmother's funeral (she lived till 98) and now I am wishing everyone knew my diagnosis because it was draining. So many people hugging me thinking that it is comforting for me but it is not. I am so drained now and tired, so many people so many forced conversations and so much touching. But I don't say anything and kept masking because then people don't know at the time and they will just think I am rude or uncaring. It's so frustrating.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I LOVE the way you described masking here because everyone wants to call it "faking" but it's not necessarily intentional. I was taught so early on that I had to mask in order to survive that I just thought I was trying to be a good person or a good Christian or woman or, or, or. And I didn't feel like I was faking or trying to lie to anyone, I just thought I was learning how to grow in certain areas and ways.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
This is sooooo true for me, too! I thought that I was trying to be a good Christian and a mature person in general and that I was learning how to grow in certain areas and ways, too. I also was taught that I was under my husband's authority (hogwash), and that translated into me assuming I had change those things about me that he saw as immature, lazy and selfish (basically, how he was interpreting my autistic traits). It's been 15 years of this, and now after nearly 2 years of trauma therapy and only 2 weeks of looking into autism, I'm pretty convinced I'm autistic; and I'm getting back to some of who I used to be.
My nephew Bradley had autism he is quite intelligent but he has a complete lack of patience ,no concept of time,and he is pretty forgetful . Since I started using the alternative medicine by Doctor isibor herbs he has so much improved in everything and he is completely okay now I’m happy that there is a cure for autism which Doctor isibor herbs has provided
When you asked that question I immediately thought, "Everything." The point that I'm at now is that I can no longer afford to mask. My nervous system being in a state of over-activation for so long has taken a big physical toll and I refuse to keep going down that road. I make so much less eye contact now, I wear earplugs, I bring my guitar to poker night so I can go hide if I need to, I tell people that I can't switch tables during said poker night, I've stopped feeling like I need to be social when I don't feel like it, and overall, I'M TAKING MY INNER WORLD BACK AND IT FEELS GREAT.
I do that too and to some extent I've always done, but the difficult thing is that it brings some rewards to mask. Recently I've been less and less able to mask and I see the weirded our reactions and I know if I masked I would be more accepted. During Christmas dinner I alway manage to be bubbly and social for the first part (an hour maximum) and then I'm physically and mentally exhausted and go to the sofa to read my book. The book helps me hide the fact that I just want to get away from people. It still passes as weird. I so often feel like I'm observing myself when in a social setting like that and I see myself slowly withdrawing. I want to accept myself as weird but there have been many lonely times in my life and I know that I CAN fake it. I just have to stop it altogether, little by little.
@@surlespasdondine I can totally relate. It was really difficult to get to this point. I think I'll always mask in some situations like work (if my body ever let's me do that again) and networking events, but when it comes to my friends and family, this is me (cue song from The Greatest Showman) and if they can't accept it and make space for it, that's really not my issue - it's theirs. I have every right to expect that the people closest to me treat me with kindness and respect, and so do you. I personally had to get to the point where I am showing MYSELF kindness and respect before I could really extend that expectation to others. I didn't even realize I felt the way I did about my inner world until I posted that. It's all a lot of work, but it seems to be effective.
I have always given myself that permission. In high school, at a particularly phony party, I crawled under the living room table and waited for it to be over. I wasn't even embarrassed about it--just like F.....This!!! If a situation is awful I don't pretend otherwise; I remove myself. This may be seen as antisocial, but I don't really care. I have to play a situation the way I see it. Otherwise, who am I? Going along with everything just erodes your sense of identity. Nowadays I would probably just say "I don't feel well and need to go home." When people try to get me to do things I don't want to do, I totally dig my heels in, to the point of rudeness if needs be.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I'm 40 next year and I was diagnosed at the end of last year. I only worked out that I was autistic during the middle of the pandemic. I went through the inevitable existential crisis but came out on the other side a lot stronger and better equipped for the second half of my life. I feel that as a late member of generation X, that we are the last generation to go through childhood without our autism being spotted, especially in those of us who would be classed as high functioning. I'm happy that so many young people don't have to live with the feeling of something being wrong that my generation and those before mine went through. Life pretty much has begun for me at 40.
This video is the BEST!!! I am 58 and for the last year I’ve realised that I’m autistic. I have just been accepted for an assessment and am on the waiting list. Since realising I’m autistic, things have started to become easier. My relationship with my husband has been much calmer and more enjoyable. I’m having fewer meltdowns and he’s understanding me better, so he doesn’t overreact to my “weird” behaviour the way he used to. I am starting to forgive myself for a life’s worth of faking normality but failing at every turn, for being the rubbish friend, sibling, daughter, wife, mother, etc that I’ve always thought myself to be. It really is like “coming home”. My best friend and my eldest brother both reject the notion out of hand that I’m autistic, which really makes me angry, as I feel they should be supportive. I’ve not seen my friend for a while, as I’m struggling with her rejection, and her probing for info on whether or not I’ve been fake with her for all these years. People just don’t seem to understand autism in females. My brother used to teach, and he has only seen the typical autistic males, who present very differently to females on the spectrum, so he virtually shuts me down whenever I talk about it. I’m very tempted to share this video with my friend and my brother. Thank you for this gem!!!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
i’m self identified as of last year, just before turning 30. The amount of times I said “YES!” during this video was wild 😅 thank you for giving me some words i needed to describe this experience
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I'm 51 and have only recently come to the realization that i'm autistic. I'm going through menopause and i believe it has magnified my spectrum thinking and behaviors. I'm actually thrilled because like you said it brings my life more into focus. I can finally fully embrace my quirky brain. 😊
On the verge of tears. Thank you for this validation, and for providing a video I can share with those who I have had such difficulty explaining how, why, when I struggle, and why I need downtime.
For me it was yesterday,a video came across me and OMG,i got a dr appointment to be tested, i got scared ,i thought im crazy,but undertanding and educating my self helps
I am watching this in tears. You have put into words what I’ve been feeling my entire life (I’m 34) but had no idea until recently what was really happening. My son was diagnosed with adhd and in researching how he really operates I found that I relate to so much of that. Then I came across signs of autism in women and it all came crashing down. THIS explains so much. Things I thought only I struggled with because I’m the problem. I’m going next week to get diagnosed and honestly I’m terrified. What if I’m not believed, what if I can’t articulate my thoughts, will they think I’m faking, etc. Anyway, thank you for your content. You have been a huge resource
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
It seems like it is tied to menopause as a trigger (the crossroads you mentioned). Don't know if it is hormones or what. I grew so exhausted trying to mask, that I gave up masking entirely. I could not work more than one day a week, I stopped answering my door, I began to stim more, and I could hardly sleep. My depression was worse, and I felt like an outsider more than ever. I literally had no f***s to give. This is what led to my autism diagnosis at 53. I could no longer cover my symptoms. You also mentioned on gaslighting ourselves, thinking that our experiences aren't as real or as intense as they actually are.... but a few people i told about my autism diagnosis to are the ones telling me that... my experiences arent as real or intense as i 'claim' for them to be. It’s so weird to think an older woman would use autism as a flex? I mean, im not lying. I ACTUALLY have autism! So weird....
I discovered I was trans seven years ago, and that I'm on the spectrum four days ago. The latter feels (though not by a large amount) crazier and a bit more overwhelming to me. Like this has been my life before AND after transition. I'm in that stage myself and this video is nice to see.
aw thanks for your comment. sounds like you are processing a lot about yourself! sending you wishes for lots of patience and grace for yourself during this time.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I'm not diagnosed. I'm an adult. But, after hearing your many, many, youtube informative videos, and many others' videos, I truly believe I'm on the spectrum. Thank you for all your educational videos. I'm not feeling as misfit anymore.
1:51 !!!!!!!!!! I just found out and I feel exactly everything you said there…. I’ve ALWAYS felt so different, life has been hard as hell for me, I do feel like a fake and don’t really know who I am but it really all does make sense now. Thank you so much for this video :)
When I finally new I was , I laughed, cried , n I was fining myself being to realize I had to forgive a lot of family members for how they treated me, uncles, cuz, cause they were the same, I don't think they even knew, 💔, I had the biggest wait of my mine,
Thank you 🙏🏽 for your channel & your authenticity. 💜😊🥳 Nearly 53 & I’m just now coming to the conclusion that I am indeed on the spectrum & it is an immense relief! 💜🙏🏽
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Taylor, thank you! It’s a new world for me, and suddenly everything makes sense! I’m 63 and am waiting on the “official” report, but I know already. It’s been a roller coaster with the discovery, and I have clarity. My therapist said she is in full agreement with the diagnosis. I don’t feel like an oddball, HIGH HIGH HIGH masking my entire life. I can breathe now. 🙏🙏
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I won’t tell others as the few people in my life would just look at with unbelief. Well my daughter knows. It is such a relief to know. Know why I did and said in my life. I’m 66.
Thank you for this video, I love hearing other’s perspectives since realising just how different each of our experiences truly is. I find it fascinating, for so long I thought everyone perceived the world very similarly to me, but I was so wrong. The quote “I don’t want to take the label from people who really need it” really resonates. I think I might have said those exact words to a previous therapist. And to my Mum! I remember the apprehensions when first reading about common ASD characteristics and thinking maybe it is coincidence because it couldn’t possibly be me. But now I too live a more compassionate and comprehensible life. The way I perceive and experience things is less confusing and frustrating to me, and my relationships are getting stronger. My partner & family has more patience & understanding for me, and on the flip side, I am learning not to leave myself in uncomfortable or overwhelming situations until I boil over and take it out on those around me. I’m learning to take my feelings and my experience more seriously - “if this is a struggle for me, then I don’t have to suppress it or convince myself that it’s not”. I will say that my masking experience was not apparent to me. I think I masked so much that I wasn’t aware of it. But upon reflection, my behaviours at the end of the day and in my safe space were so different to who I was in other places and for other people. I think not only because I was masking by default, but also because the day was so taxing like that. And by the end of the day I am spent and do not have capacity to mask anymore. I do remember many times in my life reviewing who I presented as though, and feeling like I didn’t like that person, and therefore wanted to change my external-facing self again. Coming to terms with the belief that I am autistic has led to me trying more to be my authentic self, and in turn spare energy for myself and the people who matter most to me. And I am so grateful to my Mum and partner for supporting me and not changing the way they treat me. And especially for my Mum taking such an active interest in neurodiversity as a topic and wanting to read about it and willing to talk about the internalised parts of me that she’s not familiar with and which have been buried for so long. ❤️
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I was officially diagnosed this year, aged 57. I “knew” I was autistic so I didn’t think it would affect me very much but the weeks following my diagnosis were a hugely emotional period for me. First was relief; I was right and am just different. Then came depression. I was very very sad for the child me that never received the support or understanding that they needed.
You expressed everything I’ve been through including the desire for a late diagnosis and how relieved I’d feel to finally know . Especially encouraged by you pointing out how very difficult life gets as you get older and how exhausting it is just to get through the day. Thank you for validating everything I’ve felt my whole life!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I'm 21 and I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. I first heard of the classic symptoms in middle school and immediately found them relatable. Every time I heard the word, all I could think was, "that's me." Nobody believed me when I told them, because as you said, what is seen on the surface is only the tip of the iceberg, or the duck gliding across the pond in complete serenity. I was convinced I was just a hypochondriac, and that made things so much worse. After just a few years out on my own, I had enough, opened up to close family members about everything, and was diagnosed within months. I finally gave myself the permission to believe this is a fact of life, and my quality of life has skyrocketed since. It really does feel like coming home, to "my people" as I love saying. Like everything in life just falls into place and suddenly makes sense. Simply being able to say out loud that "I'm autistic" has been a gamechanger. My generation is typically seen as hypochondriacs and wimps that want attention, but my coworkers, family members, and friends will be much more open to hearing my case through someone such as yourself. Thank you for your video, this means the world to me.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
My watershed moment: allowing myself to wear sunglasses and noise-cancelling earbuds in brightly-lit and noisy shops, and being comfortable enough that if anybody says anything about it...I'll just tell them I'm autistic, knowing that I won't be the uncomfortable one. Seems like a daft thing to a lot of folk, but to me...that was the realisation that I _could_ actually stop adapting every last part of myself to the world, and have it to adapt to me instead.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
The most useful thing in this video for me, is the "our demands have exceeded our capacity", whether it's emotional, psychological, cognitive, etc. Thank you for the video, good luck to all who face such difficulties in everyday life.
Wow, I sooooo relate to everything you've talked about in this video - I'm also in my 50's & only realized maybe a month ago that I'm on the spectrum, but once it clicked, EVERYTHING made sense! My childhood quirkiness, my awkward social skils, etc.. So now I'm at a place where I'm trying to figure out what things are from past trauma that I should work on, vs what things are just part of being autistic? What behaviors are my mask vs what are authentic? For instance, I now realize that my constant fidgeting is stimming so I'm ok with not "fixing" that as I realize it's not a flaw & is actually probably helpful. Another example would be maybe addictive tendancies towards eating or shopping, which I should try and fix if I want to stay at a healthy weight or not go broke, which could maybe be magnified by my autism (OCD). These are the weird things that I'm now struggling with, what's based on my nature vs what's based on nurture? I don't want to use autism as an excuse to maybe have bad habits or some emotional issues that I should be working on, but then I do want to figure out who I am & be ok with some of my "oddities", so to speak. If all that makes sense..
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
You are a gift. I am 52 I have 4 kids -1 autistic and always thought I was just different and not social . I don’t have an official diagnosis but I know I am. It is like coming home.
Finally understanding myself at 44 really is a relief. It doesn't fix everything, but it answers a lot of questions I'd given up on answering long ago. Thanks for running your channel. It helps.
You can go and go, even for 58 years, without a diagnosis, but with what I called "nervous breakdowns," or burnouts and agoraphobia happening regularly, leaving you broken and exhausted in bed all summer just so you can face the awful anxiety of teaching in front of people 2 days a week for 9 tortuous months, never understanding why you can't just "buck up" and use "will power" to push through all that "silly" anxiety and feel the "joy" of teaching and writing books. But, wait. The overwhelming load of teaching takes up so much of your energy, you can barely mow the lawn let alone write a book, and the interoception has left your body broken and barely hanging on just like you've been doing for the last 30 years. I get it, now, sister. And I feel a little better.
My breakdown started around covid then 5 years later I have a new life. I have started my own channel. I am doing contact Improvisation dance regularly. Recording and releasing music. As soon as I knew what the "issue" was and the masking started to fall away everything started to change for the better. Late diagnosed at 56. I finally know who I am and I do not have to spend every day dysregulated and highly stressed. yah!!!!
So how do you get that sense of self back? Or I guess in my case how do you find it in the first place My entire existence is trying to be what those around me need or want me to be
I was diagnosed at age 31 also. I'm now 44. I never got any post diagnosis support so I spent 14 years just fumbling my way trying to adjust and learn. I developed migraines, facial pain and coeliac disease. As well as depression and anxiety but those came before my diagnosis. I can't hold down a job anymore (Not that I could to begin with) so I live of social security, in isolation, in social housing. It's an incredibly scary way to live. You never know when your sole source of income will just be taken from you. And being in constant physical pain makes it hard to do most things. Just thinking straight is a struggle in itself. Purely out of fear of becoming homeless I'm working with a community support worker to change myself, do what I can and MAYBE (If I can get the fees waived) try University again. I dropped out in my 20s because I was undiagnosed with no support so couldn't cope. If I can't get into university I will try something else. Vanlife maybe. Having a vehicle I can live comfortably in before becoming homeless would lift a huge mental burden off of me. But also being trapped in my home and town because of the remoteness of where I live and poor public transport just adds to my depression. Going to a big city takes a lot of planning and I certainly couldn't stay late to attend events that are in the evening as I cant afford accommodation. And 14 years of being isolated has taken it's toll. I start having panic attacks just trying to make myself go outside let alone traveling. But at the same time I feel safe when I'm left alone in my little bubble just aimlessly drifting through life not enjoying anything but also not being stressed by anything. Though thats not really a life is it? Another reason why I'm trying to change. But it's so very hard trying to change your life when you've lived like this for so long and I can't change my physical health issues and certainly not my autism. Those will be with me for life. So what can I change? Learn to integrate back into society but on my own terms as an autistic person. Whether I'm accepted or not depends on society and most of the time we aren't accepted are we. All I can do is try and see where it goes. As well as trying to get into university I'm trying to move to a large city. Big city means more chances for events and activities to get me out the house, maybe even socialise a little bit. Who knows. But it's a very long and hard road ahead. I know that. And being 44 in poor health I could just die one day during my journey to reclaim my life from my autism. Thats a scary thought. Not the dying but that I would never get to enjoy the fruits of my efforts by enjoying life once I turned my life around. I could be having a panic attack one day as I try to be more social and suddenly have a heart attack. Then it's lights out. For all the effort put into better yourself, for it to end without ever enjoying what could have been... Thats sad. But will it stop me from trying? No. Though if I'm unable to get into university I admit that one would be a heavy blow. If only there was funding for adults with high functioning autism to further their education without putting ourselves in debt. I know at my age I certainly don't want to take on any student loans. I'd never be able to pay them off.
I can relate SO MUCH with the lady who's comment you read! I am 55 and I am just now realizing why I'm the person I really am on the inside. I am also feeling relieved to finally understand myself and be gentle and compassionate with myself. I've spent too much time feeling like a failure and overwhelmed with guilt.
Hi! Could you make a video about on how to have patience with neurotypicals? For example, how to deal with their facial expressions, judgemental body language, frowning etc.
I'm waiting to be seen for assessment. I'm so afraid that they'll tick me off as 'not autistic' but the more videos on the topic I watch, the more articles I read... I'm ticking so many boxes and the whole "feeling fake" thing is very much ME as a kid and up until now. I do tend to act 'myself' more than I feel some do because I learned early enough that it made me happier, but I do still feel like I repeat phrases, do things that I've seen others do and have been accepted for. x.x
Wow ❤ I am as yet undiagnosed… but I highly believe that all of these symptoms are me. Recently my son was diagnosed with Autism &Add and whilst we were doing his assessment my husband looked at me, and said- this is you. I can’t believe I hadn’t connected it as I was so focused on my son. I’m in the process of being diagnosed, and after seeing this understand that I need to know -thank you.
One thing I forgot to add to the discussion... it seems for many autistic adults that there is a SHIFT that happens - once you "see" autism in your life you can't "unsee" it, and the ways you used to mask now become even more painful because you innately understand what it COSTS to continue masking in certain ways. It might not be anything you can articulate with words, but you KNOW in your inner being that you simply cannot continue functioning the way you used to.
Nailed it!
I so needed to hear this. This is everything I have been going through in my head and didn't know how to verbalize it. Thank you.
Now that I am self diagnosed, I actually feel more relaxed because I don’t feel I have to beat myself up anymore (other people did that for me verbally for years). “Why can’t you do this, and why can’t you regulate your voice and you were really dumb in school and Mom and Dad think you need to see a shrink (then gaslighting me that they never said that). Damn. Now I am going to see if I can get a legitimate diagnosis because they won’t believe me or at least tell me not to cop out with a label.
@@BipolarCourage you sound like you think you are an expert especially on this persons prior behaviour. You seem like you don’t know about or ever heard of MASKING and how exhausting it is. That is what I believe she is talking about! We don’t develop new behaviour, as women we have been masking our quirks for years things that were made fun of and point us out as being different. It isn’t being authentic and there is nothing wrong with being quirky.
Yes. It's the worst with people I see regulariy (at work for instance) but who I don't know well. I have been copying (unknowingly) behaviors and I feel trapped in the mask.
I spoke with a woman who got her diagnosis aged 80. She said it helped explain every single thing that happened to her in life which was exceptionally chaotic and she could forgive herself.
Never too late, I guess, to get something out of it. I actually amateur diagnosed my great-grandma from one fact… she kept losing cleaning jobs because she didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut, lol! Yeah, that’s not much proof, but given the fact that it runs in the family that came after her, I think it’s a fair assumption. No filters, at a time when no one even considered the possibility of neurodivergence.
Regarding explaining every single thing that happened in the 80-year-old's chaotic life, that applies to me as well. I've just got my diagnosis at 71 and my world has flipped on its axis in the most profoundly positive way imaginable. One word, "autism", and seven decades of sometimes frighteningly inexplicable behaviour suddenly have a context where it ALL makes sense!
What could there possibly be for her to forgive herself over?
That is simultaneously heartbreaking and immensely encouraging!
I got it in my 50s after 3 long term relationships and it made sense of my partner’s behavior toward me and why I thought they wanted me to read their minds or thought they were conflict avoidant (versus a different style of dealing with conflict-being indirect-that I don’t pick up on)-something I couldn’t do. I never masked a lot but I was always trying to figure out why I wasn’t seen as normal by others and all I ever wanted to be was normal. So, even though I was my authentic self, I felt so much pressure to perform. How, I wasn’t quite sure.
I went from literally hating myself because I felt like a failure in life to accepting myself instantly when I found out I was autistic.
Same!
Yup! I still have things to work through elsewise, but oh my word the feeling of “oh, I’m not an abject failure at life, I just can’t do the things always and deal with things way different.”
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Yup same just got my diagnosis yesterday but whilst thinking I might be a lot of freedom happened mentally.
I strongly suspect that I am autistic but fear this...going for an actual diagnosis and being told I am not autistic. I completely understand how a diagnosis would make someone feel an immense sense of relief.
Diagnosed at 50. Everyone says it comes as a huge relief and while it explains SO MUCH, I went into a complete identity crisis. I’ve spent my entire life trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and fix it. There’s no fix for this, other than acceptance. And I’m so angry over all the misdiagnoses and unnecessary medications I’ve been thru over the decades….
I’m 73 now, professionally diagnosed at 50. Before that with so many telling me “what your problem is…” I believed I was the problem. Discussed my diagnosis with very few and even some of those told me I was using it as “an excuse”. Thankfully now my social demands are minimal so I am able to go about my odd little life without much outside judgment.
The identity crisis is real, though at least I went through a few of those already--coming out about my sexuality, coming out about not being religious anymore--I know what a paradigm shift is like. I just never expected Aspy-ism. It is becoming more of a relief to know.
I'm 51, diagnosed at 50. For me it came as a great relief. Even if I think of all that could have been different if I was diagnosed earlier, at least I'm no longer fighting against myself. Now I have tools to feel better and avoid burn out. I understand my difference. I'm more in peace with myself. Thanks for this video, it's really well explained. Love the iceberg and the duck metaphors.
I always tell newly diagnosed adults to expect grief (and I think we need to talk about more) - not grief because we're autistic/ND but grief about all the people who missed it, who failed us, who misdiagnosed us, who blamed us. I find it's pretty inevitable we go through all those difficult memories and have *feelings* about how obvious it is to us now and how hard things were because no one was paying attention/helping or because Ableism. I think it's normal and find we work through it and it becomes less and less frustrating over time. (I'm about 5 years from my diagnosis.)
This sounds very similar to my life with mental Doctors, in I can't count all the pills that I have had to take, it's not a good experience
Covid lockdowns were my wake up moment, I was actually happier when everyone was FORCED to stay out of my personal space and to stay quiet. I went down the rabbit hole at that point and have learned so much since. I feels good to honor yourself for who you actually are.
Me too. I was never worried about getting sick, instead I was glad to stay home, have little contact with other people.
I realised how isolated i already was because my life didn't change much and still hasn't. I definitely think i could be autistic and adhd (possibly cptsd) and I've been wrongly diagnosed for half my life with BPD, when i would try to talk to people who have that i didn't feel like that was right but i was always told there are 256 different combinations of symptoms and it must be right because thats what the drs said (i still had some trust to them but no longer do) i feel completely failed by my parents, mental health professionals...and have since decided that it doesn't really matter because even when i would try to explain i couldn't, only now im 30 im getting abit better with saying what i mean more but its still not how i think should be
i know right same same
Same
I haven't been diagnosed but when I was learning to drive at 27, after frequent meltdowns my teacher, who was also a therapist, told me to pull over to one side of the road and asked me the simple question "have you ever been diagnosed with autism?". I mentally filed that away until I was 36 and when working in a school a coworker gave me a sheet from her daughter's autism diagnosis. I read the whole thing. It was me. It made so much sense. I cried for all those lost years. I feel like I understand myself so much better now but I have still masked and repressed myself so much that I have lost so much of who I am as a person.
Oh goodness. My heart goes out to you. I understand the pain of grieving those "lost years." It's so interesting when we see these things in our kids. Sending lots of love and peace your way.
I learned to drive when I was 36. Diagnosed at 52, after a year of getting my children diagnosed with ADHD/ASD. I wish I’d known I had autism sooner for my older two girls. The younger two are in high school. We try to make sure that all 4 of our children have their needs met in the best way for each of them.
Me two, trying to get help, cause I don't handle pressure to good, in any form. I hate to called a lier when I'm telling the truth, if I start something n someone makes a change or gets my attention, I half to in my head start all over , this I a hard time for me, cause, it takes me some time in my memory In all I go through just to see how's best way to do whatever is i got to do, figuring out I am Artistic, I was so relieved of many things in my past, like ,treating me like I was just being a bad boy,by uncles, cuisine ,nabers ,teachers classmates, much more, well here I am a mess again cause I'm not that good around anyone for a long period, cause I can't hide the real me for to long , if you look at me, you see a normal person, in reality I'm not, it's not I'm a bad person, it's all the years I've been called one. I'm 58 years old. What a hell of life to live ,to my age 58 n realizes they treated me for many disorders, I was not, and all the things the meds did to me I couldn't handle, o one would listen to me, so I got to a point where I still don't trust a lot of Doctors, when a person get a life long bad record, they will never forget in its very sad , cause I never got the real help I needed in the first place. I don't know how to talk around some people , not even today, I see what I can do with something in my head , where others go to school for same thing, I didn't learn much school, don't learn like others, so im somewhat relieved n but still the same. Crazy right.
I feel for you. All of those lost years. Yes. And the years of masking and repression that have made you feel you have lost the ability to even know who you are. I hope we can all make little strides in expressing our true selves/wants/ desires. I have a lot of self-affirmation cards from various places/times in my life. The one I'm thinking of is, " My feelings and needs are just as important as anyone else's." Others: "I am learning to let go of guilt (or shame)." "I am loveable and capable." "I fully accept and believe in myself just the way I am." "Tengo derecho a recibir amor, componsion y cuidado." From the book, "Women Food and God", "Being with feelings is not the same as drowning in them. With awareness and presence it is possible to be with what you believe will destroy you without being destroyed. It is possible to be with big heaves of feelings like grief or terror. Little waves of feelings like crankiness or sadness. The path from obsession to feelings to presence is not about healing our "wounded children." We are taking who we think we are apart. We feel the feelings because unmet feelings obscure our ability to know ourselves."
Can I ask if it is hard for autistic people to have their driving license? I am learning to do it now, at 29, and I feel totally unskilled, like it's the hardest thing I have ever done. People don't understand how am I that bad
The prospect of getting this confirmed is both exciting and terrifying. What if I test negative despite my being 99% sure? I have been feeling so ambivalent since learning about female autism because a. "omg this is me" and b. "What if I'm wrong?" Btw I hate most comment sections on yt but those under autism videos are full of thoughtful, empathetic people. Makes me feel at home.❤️
I have the same feeling about what if I’m wrong or misdiagnosed. I’ve thought that I could have ADHD back in 2020, & then autism months or so later because some/lots of things I struggle with don’t fit with ADHD.
I’m pretty sure I have both but I have some moments where I think, “do I have autism?”. I then remember what I've read about it & realise, yes that is me. So therefore I do have it.
I told one person, who has been in my life forever, in 2021 (before really starting to realise about autism) that I think I have ADHD. I was feeling really depressed & because she knows I’ve had depression on & off since I was a teenager, after listening to me explain the reasons why I thought I had ADHD, she said to me “I think it’s just how you’re feeling at the moment.”. Err, okay. 🤔 Anyway, since then I haven’t told anyone else just in case they say similar things & so on. 🙄
Phew, that was long!
P.s. sorry if I’ve swapped between present & past tense. I do that sometimes but when I read it back I don’t know how to fix it myself.
@@alwaysforeverme3841 Oh you remind me so much of me in how you express yourself! In fact this is true for so many comments under autism videos. It's amazing! Wishing for a fast assessment and diagnosis for both of us.❤️
My feelings exactly
I found my assessment so stressful for this reason - i wanted to get the diagnosis SO much because everything fitted so exactly - i thought if they say i'm not then i REAAAALLLLY don't anywhere. but i've read so mcuh good stuff supporting the reality that if all the stuff you've read really feels so you, and fits like nothign before - that's because you are.....We dont make this up.....xxx
Once I reached that point in my research, the fear didn't diminish until I was diagnosed. I still have bouts of Imposter Syndrome, but they are significantly less often now. Even if you manage to be wrong about the diagnosis, there is still the possibility that they will know what your issue really is. If you can pursue a diagnosis, that's probably the best option.
YES YES YES! I’m 54, self diagnosed and I love this video!
A couple of friends and family members have expressed “concern“ about me talking openly about my self diagnosed autism. This explains more eloquently than I could why I need to keep bringing it up. Why I keep watching videos about autism and ADHD. They can’t conceptualize what it’s like to suddenly understand myself. It’s overwhelming, exhilarating, a little bit scary, kind of all the emotions all at the same time.
Autism answers so many lifelong questions: why am I not good at being a friend? Why do I have such a hard time doing certain things like returning phone calls, getting certain tasks done (that I now understand require spoons that I don’t have left), generally struggle to interact with the world the way everybody else does?
It’s such a relief to finally be getting some understanding of why I am the way I am. I’m learning a lot in the process, and finding ways to overcome some of the things in my life that I find uncomfortable or challenging.
Do they get upset at you labeling yourself and try to dismiss it as “some people are just quirky”? I deal with those…
@@BeeWhistler more like I was going to somehow limit myself by “labeling“ myself. As if I were claiming to be damaged goods or was going to use it as an excuse for everything. But I’m learning that I just need to educate them more about what it really means to be autistic. We’re not broken. We don’t need to be fixed. We are different, and as such we need to approach things differently. I have a couple of doctors appointments coming up that have me a bit anxious. But some of what makes me so anxious are the bright lights and unfamiliar noises and smells. So I have a plan! I’ll wear my earplugs and my sunglasses and I’m unapologetically bringing a small stuffed animal to hold because I find that comforting. I will also add a drop or two of peppermint oil to the outside of my mask to help cover the other smells. I’m not saying overall it’s going to make the experience pleasant, but I can at least have an impact on some of the things that add would normally add to my sensory overload. I’m also making sure that the days after the appointments are free from any other responsibilities so that I have room to decompress.
That's partly why I'm getting an official diagnosis.
@@surlespasdondine maybe I’ll change my mind later but for now, at my age, I don’t think a formal diagnosis of autism would help me. I will, however, seek guidance/clarity in my presumed adhd as that’s something that is worsening as I age and I need help in certain areas.
Your comment is expressing my own experience. Thank you.
Being late diagnosed (41), it seems to me my closest family members are less accepting than strangers. They always knew me masking, they tend to forget all the problems (there were a lot) in my childhood that were never explained, and they don't take time to wonder about this topic. I tried to explain, at the beginning, but with no result, and I got tired of it. In the end, I'm masking a lot with my family, and less with strangers (who show more curiosity).
English is not my first (or second) language, I hope it's understandable...
Thank you for your videos, I like them very much !
Yes everything you’ve said is understandable. Thanks for your comment!
This rings a bell. I feel that I cannot tell my family how hard it has been for me to mask, because they want to have the essy and nice masking replica and not me, who has all those troubles and anxieties.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
This rings a bell. My adult son who has been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, understands me fully sbd says that he has always seen that we are similar. But my husband and my daughter are less accommodating. My husband is saying, yes, you seem to be autistic, but what does it matter when you cope so well. He is more understanding, however, but my adult daughter thinks that his brother and I are malingering and autism and ADHD are overdiagnosed and all our oddities (social anxiety, routines, fixed interests, hypersensitivity, absent-mindedness, poor executive functioning etc.) are just human features that are common if one very intelligent (as we are). It is quite disheartening as some of my friends also talk about overdiagnosing and overmedicalization, without realizing how hard it hits us not to be have validation.
I only just got diagnosed with ADHD & ASD1 two days ago, age 41 also. I'm trying to explain to my family of origin, and I've asked them for their memories of me as a child, but they just want to dispute. "You were perfect," "I never thought of you as sick," so I have a long hard road to travel to reeducate them about what autism is and isn't, and I suspect I'll run out of spoons before I get that outcome. I've been an ADHD/ASD magnet for years, which my psychiatrist said is a quirky thing-that we tend to find each other along the path of life. Anyway, I'm still processing, but videos like this one will hopefully help my people understand better. 🤞🏻🤞🏻
I'm terrible for gaslighting myself. I had such a bad migraine on Friday that I had to leave early. I needed to be in a place without sensory input. Even then though, I was like "is it really that bad?"
Yes this is still a pattern I find myself in, but I’m noticing progress.
I struggle with self-gaslighting A LOT, too. I've actually started removing myself from the situation at hand and instead thinking "what would my reaction be if this was my child/partner/best friend?" So for your specific situation: "would i want my loved one to stay at work with a migraine? or would i want them to come home, rest, and take care of themselves?" I find that I always seem to have more compassion for others than I do myself lol
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Talk about late, I was diagnosed at 62 after a four decade career in engineering. One of the best managers I ever had told one of our customers "you might not like what John says and you might not like the way he says it, but you have to listen to him; because he is usually right." That was two decades before I was diagnosed. The book "All cats have asperger syndrome" by Kathy Hoopmann was the key to my being diagnosed. It showed all of the things I was experiencing in the traits of cats. I have lived with and studied cats all my life. My avatar is Chips, he is my smoke Egyptian Mau. I am still trying to process all of the meaning of this diagnosis, but just knowing why I am "odd" makes a world of difference.
I relate to what you are saying. I was diagnosed at 65yo, still learning how to take care of myself after so many years masking. All my life clicked right when I recognized myself as autistic. Not easy though. Best autistic wishes 😊
ADHD diagnose at 55, ships Capt. I have no idea how I have accomplished what I have, the autism side is now a real possibility for me
Medicated and happy now, though. I still have a great career, and am thriving.
What we forget is how resilient we are and strong. Normies would have never made it.
Chin up, smile and give yourself space to live!!!
It's also very important to note that being autistic comes with a high chance of also having other conditions like ADHD, OCD, etc. and that after we've put in the research, we usually know how our condition(s) affect(s) us very well. Respect what the person tells you, there's nothing worse than being gaslit by someone you trusted with this knowledge. The damage to both us and the relationship itself can be irreversible.
I'm 27, I have worked for about 10 years of my life and yet I still use cue cards with pictures every morning and evening so I don't forget parts of my routine like brushing my teeth. I've been told by someone I can't be autistic because I "have my life under control". I don't. I work, I go to uni, but I regularly lose track of things, straight up forget appointments, deadlines and I'm tired of having to explain that I don't struggle on purpose to get attention. That wouldn't even make sense since I struggled in silence for most of my life.
I've been on a journey of self-discovery for nearly 2 years now and it's hard. Grieving for what could have been is a process that might never end and I know people loving us don't want to see us struggle, but we need to work through it at our own pace. Just ignoring trauma (that most of us have due to, e.g., being told our experiences are invalid for most of our life) doesn't work, it's a recipe for mental illness.
You said a really bag mouth full , it is very true, I feel your pain, pray for you, n accepting your life n finding ways to deal n see life is changing n challenging, your not a bad person, it's the cards we where delt, I couldn't tell you these words a few months ago, im just being dinoust, spelling not good, so hopefully you can understand if word is closed
I have 7 children whom I homeschooled for years. The stress that caused broke my marriage. I coukdnt explain how I could literally look at my calendar the evening before or the morning of, only to later completely space a doctor or dentist or Parent teacher appointment and find myself at the park w my kids oblivious
This is so extremely helpful, so grateful. I'm 55. Thought I was bipolar but it didn't explain everything.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Self diagnosed here but feel I MUST get a clinical diagnosis to combat the pushback and disbelief I will inevitably get from my entire family. It feels like an impossible mountain to climb. This autism realization has thrown me into an identity crisis, I do not feel any relief in knowing. I feel angry about how hard it’s going to be to get everyone to believe me.
Update, I have an appointment for an autism assessment next month and I’m excited and scared and still not sure how my family will react if I am officially diagnosed autistic.
How did it go?!
@@Jewlz4everscrew em. It’s your life to live. Unless they heavily support you or there’s wealth in an estate I wouldn’t care much. My fam is the same. I don’t waste energy trying to change the one fam member we have left that is part of our immediate family. You are you. But if there’s something like resources try your best and fluff off the rest.
@@crumesd it went well and I received my official diagnosis. My family has been mostly supportive so it’s been a relief. But I’m still struggling with this new identity and grieving what I perceive to be the loss of my old self.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 20s and it changed my life. 20 years later I've learned that I'm also autistic and suddenly the struggles I've had over the course of my entire life have become so crystal clear. It's like a new sunrise and suddenly being able to see the entire landscape. Thank you so much for this video and the wonderful summation of so many of the things I've been feeling over the past year since discovering my difference
Love the picture of a new sunrise. Thanks for sharing this.
I was diagnosed as ADD at 28, and it explained a lot, but still did not feel quite the right fit. Being on the Spectrum of Autism fill in a lot of holes. Unfortunately my primary care giver said No, to sending me for diagnosis 😑😔
I was diagnosed ADHD about 30 years ago and it answered many questions, but am now investigating autism diagnosis and hope that it will answer a lot more.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
When you said “a piece of the puzzle” I thought - it’s like we have been trying to put a puzzle together but the plain, back side up. Then, we get this word (autism) for why life has been so hard and flip the puzzle over and suddenly it all makes sense.
Yes!! Love this.
I'm 57. I was formally diagnosed less than a year ago. Everything you say here rings true. I sum it up like this: Autism a semi-rare nuerological condition that requires support. You can't get support for autism if you don't know you are autistic. The reason I sought formal diagnosis was to confirm my own research and self asessemnt, the suggestion by others that I might be on The Spectrum.
The formal diagnosis confirmed level 1 autism. I was born autistic and I'll die autistic. Like every human being on earth I have strengths and weaknesses and sensitivities and insensitivities. Like every other human being on earth I struggle to communicate my thoughts and feelings to other people. The difference lies in the character and intensity of these sensory, social, and commucation abilities and deficits. My profile is extreme because I am autistic. If my needs are suppoprted I'm able to connect with and participate in the world and contribute profoundly beautiful things.
Before I knew I was autistic, the world was a hostile and threatening place to me. It still is - but I no longer hold myself responsible for it.
That my Autistic friends, makes ALL the difference.
My current self care dictum is this:
"Don't fight your autism. Lean into it."
Autism is a force of nature. Fighting with your own autism is like having an emotional autoimmune disease.Self attacking self. But there's a way out. Embrace your autism. Welcome it as the beautiful gift it is. You are EXCEPTIONAL! Yes - exceptional. You are here because human evolution selected for you. You and the genes you carry confer a survival advantage to our species becuase of your autistic gifts and other traits. Don't blam autism for the abuse and confusion and pain you feel. Blame ignorance and human cruelty. Not autism. Without autism there's be no great art. No science. No engineering or poetry or architecture or music. Autistic people are responsible for most of the most imporant advances in human history. Sir Issac Newton. Nietsche, Albert Einstien - all autistic from what I know about them.
Following this new autism positive paradgym has resulted in the greatest period of personal growth, insight, and creatiove productivty of my life. Try following your autistic muse, and see what happens. If you are at all like me, your inner life will get better. MUCH better. As long your support and sensory needs are being met, and you have food, shelter and clothing, you'll find youself in the promised land.
So lean into it!
It is a matter of survival. Remove anyone from your life who's not 100% supportive. They are dangerous to your wellbeing. Demand love and support from those around you, and give them love and respect in return - but only under circumstances of mutuality. And remeber: Actions speak louder than words.
I am an introvert. I love quiet time and social interactions, although I enjoy them, wear me out. I also hate background noise. How do I know whether or not I have autism?
This post is from a year ago so I have no I idea if you will see my response, but I need to say it anyhow. I am waiting for my formal diagnosis and my thoughts are so very overwhelming right now. I want to thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I do not know what this process will do to my life, but I have found great comfort in your observations. Blessings Elizabeth
Being late diagnosed as well (28, nearly 33 now) the most important thing is getting to the stage where you begin to feel like you're getting "more" autistic in your understanding of yourself and coping. You've touched on that topic in a prior video I recall, but for anyone here in the comments, that stage is incredibly important because that is a hallmark that you're actually finally beginning to live your authentic self and letting go of masking and habits you've internalized that prevent you from loving yourself. It took me four years to get to that point and in the past year I've finally begun to delve into hobbies, and able to focus really intensely and make incredible feats of learning and progress in those hobbies (painting, in my case) which I felt was literally impossible to me in the past. I may have to schedule more things and manage my reactions to things more carefully but I would never want to return to the ignorance I lived under before this. I was experiencing panic attacks on a near daily basis, flirting with high blood pressure and putting myself at risk of heart attacks and stroke from intense anxiety and stress. I am much happier and able to be present in my life and look on the future with some measure of optimism. I wish that for everyone, neurodiverse or not.
How have you managed your anxiety after being diagnosed?
I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack from mine. It can't be good for me to feel this way all the time but Dr's refuse to give medication to help.
@@nancyhonea1935 I spent two years on SSRIs and working with a psychologist to understand what causes the biggest upsets and getting in touch with what relaxes me so I can slowly build up my stimming behavior and self regulation and anticipate problems which ordinarily would trigger panic attacks. It takes a lot of introspection and reflection. I spent several months just recording how I felt mentally, physically, and emotionally every day on a sliding scale with notes on what happened that day to get a better idea of how I responded to things, when my self care dipped, and what recovery times were like. It helped open my eyes a lot and that knowledge has helped me to manage so much more.
Even so, everyone is different and you may have comorbid conditions. You may need medication for anxiety long term. I didn't, but it is definitely something to discuss with both a PCM and a mental health professional you trust and potentially see regularly. I needed mine to get over the initial bump because I had other physical mental issues which caused a lot of chaos which meant a lot of overstimulation and panic. Once that was dealt with and things normalized and my psych and I felt I had a good handle on things I weened off slowly and now am off SSRIs entirely and doing ok. There's still bad days, fairly often anxiety spikes, but rarely full on attacks anymore.
@@nancyhonea1935 They don't want to treat your symptoms like anxiety? Do you have the ability to get a new doctor? If you're in a legal marijuana state, med cards are often given to folks with Autism because of the terrible anxiety. The point being that a good doctor will try to help where they can in a professional way.
Carditone calms sympathetic dominance
What a mouth full of truth , same with me, I'm not hiding anything anymore, I love being free of hiding what I felt was me all my life , today I'm just being me , no matter others think.
I‘m in the middle of the process of getting my diagnosis, I’m 19. I’ve never felt so understood before. I can’t wait to get my diagnosis. Thank you for raising awareness to autism. It means a lot to me
You're welcome, Vanessa. Thank you for your comment.
Hi @vanessarosskopf5844! How did you find the doctor to get you diagnosed? My daughter is 21 and we haven't been able to find any help 😕
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
How did you find the process? I'm at the start,being referred for ASD possibilities but does it make sense that I feel I have been all my life? Hope all is well X
Thanks. Listening was comforting. I'm 71 years old. I live in California. My psychologist works for a medical corporation that does not do diagnostic evaluations for folks my age, but rather places the focus on behavioral and pharmaceutical interventions to address symptom relief. I have shared my belief that what has been at the root of my problems is ASD. I've received support in doing boundary work and practicing DBT and acting as if I have an ASD diagnosis. I use videos such as yours to provide the external validation I now recognize I have craved. As I continue taking responsibility for understanding myself and attending respectfully to my needs, my hope is that my ability to relate empathetically and respectfully with others will increase. Thank you for sharing your work.
I’m so sorry you’ve had such a long wait to get answers, and that you have been blocked from getting a diagnosis! I hope you can get the support you need ❤️
Keep going ... you can help yourself
I hope you have or will read books from Temple Grandin. She’s probably the most influential person with autism ever, but definitely for your age group. She’s so encouraging to listen to and watch.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I LOVE that you made this video to discuss adult diagnosis!!!! YAS!! On another recent video, someone mentioned their psychiatrist told them it wasn't "worth it" to pursue diagnosis, and I thought that advice was so sad :( Because ND, esp. autism, has historically been so stigmatized, I think professionals still default to this type of thinking. They *think* these labels are bad and harmful to individuals, but in reality, diagnosis often has the opposite effect. Accurate diagnosis is often the first step toward greater self-awareness, resources, and meeting other ND folks to develop a sense of community.
I wish NT folks understood that people who *are* ND experience the signs, symptoms and effects of the condition(s) *regardless of diagnosis*. This is why diagnosis is usually a joyful occasion for us!! It’s not the end of being neurotypical-we never WERE neurotypical-it’s the beginning of finally understanding ourselves.
This happened to me. Several medical professionals told me, that I don't need the diagnosis. Since I am married, studied and have a good job there is no need for it. They couldn't be more wrong!
Now I am able to officially insist on accommodations and support I need. I am able to live life as I need it, not like the others want me to live it.
But most importantly, I have words to describe my inner experience and speak up for myself.
Yes I am "more" autistic now, but I never ever before felt more like me.
I won't go back! So true I can't make it unseen and I dont want to. I want to see.
Yes, I'm not feeling more autistic now that I'm wife-diagnosed and self-diagnosed, but I am consciously (and sometimes unconsciously!) working to drop masks, and it lets others really see me--I now know to explain my ND thought processes to my wife, and she sees more deeply into my interoception, my masking, my inability to start things or work side-by-side with her, my inability to get out of the house, the drain that comes with every human interaction.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I am NOT a doc. But there is a SECRET. Please look into camel milk- life changing
@@bacchira1251I am NOT a doc. But there is a SECRET. Please look into camel milk- life changing
One more thing that I wish our families and friends would understand: we need you! your understanding, love, respect, insight and reflection. so much of what we go through every day happens at the intersection of our lives with that of others - the more you understand and learn about autism the easier it becomes for us to find our footing in this world.
I‘m very blessed with kind and understanding people in my life and my heart breaks every day for my friends in the community who have to deal with constant dismissal and disrespect by the people who are supposed to love them the most.
So if someone you know tells you about possibly being autistic: please honor their trust in you! listen to what they have to say without judgement. maybe look into the sources they will inevitably supply you with. and also: keep it to yourself - it‘s not your place to tell others about it.
YES! Thank you Simone. Very important.
@Totally Autsome Life Coaching in my case it‘s so weird because a lot if not most of my close relations show nd traits - I think it‘s why I flew under the radar for so long because among them I wasn‘t so different. today most of them identify as hsp, one as asd. all of them are well adjusted into adult life however, while I started struggeling in high school. I think because my family is closer to nd than nt they sometimes don‘t understand why I can‘t deal where they can. some also seem to think that my giftedness should make up for my autistic issues. and again: my family is awesome, respectful and accomodating where so many aren‘t. I guess it‘s just part of the human condition that we struggle to understand what we don‘t know ourselves - and sadly, some just refuse to make a concious effort.
also: I do love my brain and the person it makes me! doesn‘t mean I don‘t struggle though. both things can be true at the same time 😊
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I was diagnosed almost a year ago at 27, after knowing I was autistic for a few months before that. It's made a world of difference in ways I still struggle to unpack. It's like I finally got the permission to stop striving to be "normal," whatever that even means. I understand myself better. I can accept my limitations and accommodate them instead of berating myself for them. It's so huge and so important.
That sort of sums it up: "I can accept my limitations and accommodate them instead of berating myself for them."
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
My late diagnosis, 6 years ago, was truly cathartic and I told the PhD., "the dots connected!' I have had peace of mind since and like you said Taylor, I realized that I have been doing a good job of masking all my life which was exhausting! Unfortunately I tried to share my diagnosis with my sisters, nieces and nephews, but they informed me that they wished to move on from me. It was disappointing for awhile but I came to the conclusion that I have to live "my life" and this is all about me, and that isn't selfish either. Great to be part of this wonderful community!
Good for you for owning who you are and making choices to support that!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Please look into camel milk- life changing
I’m so confused, why does your family want to move on?
In the past, when I struggled, I would occasionally reach out to my two older sisters. Keep in mind that they would go beyond what I needed, I wasn't diagnosed or they understood, and it was overwhelming. I was divorced, had to sell my house, and conscientiously gave up my car for public transportation. These factors I am guessing are the reasons why they moved on. They are more materialistic than myself, and when I asked my.one sister who is married to a therapist, if she has researched the Autistic Spectrum, she replied that they both viewed the HBO.show Temple Grandin. They both shared with me that they struggle with severe depression and this gave me the perspective why they moved on.
I am 46 years old and due to the worst bout of depression I have ever experienced was led to discover that I am autistic in severe burnout (self diagnosed)I am into my 3rd year of this depression/burnout and am still having a very difficult time recovering. Most days I feel like “I’m not going to make it” because I have no idea who/what to be…all I know is I can’t keep being the me I have been-which you articulated so well in your comment after the video. I am in a place of nothingness-and not sure how to get out. I am always just so tired and every little thing feels so hard. This is a strange place for me to be as I have previously been very successful,raised 2 amazing humans and almost felt superhuman in pushing through obstacles to not even being able to do the most basic of tasks. I just try to remember that nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass and I will eventually figure things out…thank you for expressing so beautifully so much of my own internal experience.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I understand you. Trust me. You are not alone. Your words inspire me to trust the process. 🤍
Sending lots of love from Brazil 🇧🇷
Having the verbage has made a huge difference! To have the words to describe to others my experiences and to talk myself through tough times has helped so much! Thanks Taylor for another thoughtful video! 💞
You’re welcome Whitney! 💓
Yep, there's so many things that I've done over the years that seem to be completely logical to me, but I'd look around and like nobody else was doing it. I finally know that in most of those cases, it's because my needs are just a bit different. Autistic traits will bubble to the surface no matter what we do, but I do think that it's often better to just accept it, if it's safe to do where we're at.
My loved ones say I'm sensitive and "different" just like my father. I never knew my father. It's interesting that we would be so similar without having a relationship. Unless, he passed the gene to me. He was never diagnosed. I have decided to seek a diagnosis at age 35.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
My reality has changed so dramatically. The awareness bringing the subconscious to the conscious mind after 20 years and learning other people are like me is just life changing. I feel so much less alone now. I have words for things. It’s been a crazy journey.
Describing it as your whole view of life locking into place is perfect! Me realizing that I'm autistic has shifted so much in my life! Especially accounting for my sensory needs whether that's avoiding sensory stuff that bothers me like loud noises or engaging with sensory stuff I like for example really soft fabric or certain songs, etc. That's been HUGE for me. I've given myself so much more grace since figuring it out. And it's been huge in understanding why I have constant miscommunication with my non-autistic partner so our arguments have diminished SO much.
YES!! I love to hear this. Thanks for your comment, Maddy.
Diagnosed at 41. I spent most of my adult life in addiction. I didn't understand why I kept on going back to things that kept me drowning. It wasn't until my diagnosis that I understood everything. The need to run away from myself. I been sober going on 5 yrs. After the diagnosis, it strengthened my desire to stay away from substances. I can't describe why it worked that way. I just feel everything makes sense now.
Sadly, I feel sharing my diagnosis with my mother made her more emotionally distant than she already was. She stopped asking about my emotional well-being after the diagnosis. She chalks everything to depression. Autism was too much for her to handle. My nephew is on the spectrum and presents differently. It's easier for her to talk about his autism because its more obvious compared to mine. My feelings are still hurt though. I still feel invisible to her.
I’m sorry about your mum. Well done on 5 years sober!
I am proud of you and your self awareness and determination to hold space for yourself with love.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I cried this entire video. You said so many things that I’ve thought, and you just validated those thoughts. I’m self-diagnosed and going through severe imposter syndrome. You just helped me, because now I know I want a diagnosis. The fear of being invalidated is less now ❤
Imposter syndrome sucks. I was just officially diagnosed after years of believing I was on the spectrum but because I feel like my ADHD (dx since childhood) impacts me more and the evaluator used the MIGDAS instead of the ADOS, I keep doing self assessments and watching all the videos because I feel like “but what if it’s still wrong, what if it’s really just all ADHD”… hopefully you come to terms with it soon and accept what you know is true.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
That was so incredibly well put. Almost a year ago I’ve found myself finding the strength to finally tell my best friends my discovery that I am autistic. That night I was so overwhelmed that I literally said I explain it to you guys later but suffice to say I’m not in a good place right now, here’s the short answer for why and I’ll talk to you guys soon with the details.
Then I just never did. there were little things that have come up for sure but I have yet to sit down and be like this is what autism is for me this is how it differs from both of my kids and everyone else. this is why I’m having such a hard time coping with thing… Just the everything about how I’m feeling. I’m gonna send them this video and then I’m gonna ask for like an hour long FaceTime call where we can sit together and I can actually talk to them about it. This video gave me a lot of strength because I’ve been wanting to do this but it’s such a huge under taking it’s always felt too big and how do I start? they haven’t done the years of research, they know the stereotypes that everyone else does, now I want and need to introduce them to autistic me.
Thank you for making this vide!!!
You're welcome!! Sending you all the positive vibes. Thanks for your comment.
Be sure to let them know the positives of "groups having outliers", any non neurotypical who is a respected member, although being markedly different, of their community, is providing sufficient behavioural and cognitive flexibility to the group to actually enhance the group, forestalling stagnation, or excess deadening automation etc
But, they must be allowed to be authentic to perform that function. Is that any help?
@@veronica_._._._, wow, it sure is for me! Great point! Thanks!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I am 59 and just nor realizing I am autistic. It was such a relief to finally admit that it fits. It explains so many of my experiences as a child and young adult, who was struggling so much to find my place in the world.
I have been called different, overly sensitive, and weird my entire life and as I hit my forties, I no longer worried about being different. I became much more comfortable in my own skin. However, then my husband of 35 years passed away in 2021 and it turned my life upside down. I am just now starting to rework my life. It’s been a very challenging time, but accepting my diagnosis has made it easier.
I just had a total sensory overload being falsely accused and screamed at in front of coworkers and walked out to avoid a breakdown which ultimately happened when I got wrote up and told I wasn’t yelled at…this video has been the single most impactful video I can relate to almost 100%
It's interesting how you said the mental chatter subsided. I'm 39, discovered my autism just a year ago, and just received my official diagnosis. It's been blowing me away lately that I've been mentally monologing a lot about how I function, as if to "explain myself" to others.
And the remarkable thing is that I recognize I was actually explaining very specific autistic traits, BEFORE I knew anything about autism.
I found your channel a year ago. I was looking for information as I think my 47 year old daughter may be autistic; I am 73. As I listened to your vlogs I started to feel as though I was in another world. Not only did it all make sense about my daughter, it also blew my mind that I could personally relate to all of the signs! All my life I have wondered why I feel like a stranger in every setting I encounter. I’ve wondered why I spend so much time pretending to be interested in things other women my age seem to do. I’ve wondered why I’ve forced myself to invite people into my home whilst feeling anxious, afraid and panicky. I’ve tried to talk myself out of how anxious I feel for no apparent reason and why my brain insists on landing on a thought like Velcro with no way to release it. I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression, GAD and possible ADHD many years ago, and been in therapy with a wonderful psychiatrist for a very long time, but he knows nothing about autism in adults, which he freely admits. Taylor, in a previous vlog you mentioned a therapist/naturopathic doctor named Natalie Englebrecht. I looked her up and discovered that not only is she in my country (Canada), but only 30 km away from where I live. I’m in the midst of working on her questionnaire and psychometric tests. I would not have found out about her if not for you. Thank you very much for all your posts and excellent information.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Your channel popped up randomly in my feed a few days ago and the moment I started watching the first video, I immediately felt a HUGE sense of relief. I'm 34, undiagnosed, but I 110% relate to every single thing you've said in every video I've watched so far. I could cry tears of happiness at the overwhelming sense of relief I'm feeling right now. I'm so fortunate to have come across your channel and I just want to thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone and that others feel this way, and what it actually means. The world has felt so dark for so long and you've really shed a light for me and given me hope. I'm going to continue watching and hopefully get a formal diagnosis soon. Thank you again! 😁🤗🤗
You’re so welcome! Thank you for your comment and I’m so glad you’re here. 💗
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
As someone who's becoming more and more aware of my neurodivergence at nearly 40, this is a really helpful take. I am not assigning a particular name to my differences at this point, though some aspects of Autism, OCD, and ADD all resonate with my experience. The "self-gaslighting" has been such a struggle for me and I have judged myself harshly and had a lot of anxiety around being judged for things being hard for me that are apparently just normal and easy for others. It's a journey I'm still on. Thanks for making this video!
@MomontheSpectrum Seems like you have an impersonator?
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Love this, Taylor! I consider myself neurodivergent with Autistic traits (until dx maybe someday). One of my mantras for 2023 is “Honor Your Sensory Needs.” These things I have labeled “treats” for myself give me so much joy. I am making them more a priority this year ❤️
Woo hoo! I am loving all of these self celebrations!!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
I am 29 and am questioning if I am autistic. What you said really related to me. One reason I think I have a hard time even seeing myself as possibly autistic is because other people do not because I am so seemingly functioning. But also my little sister has autism. I now know we have a lot of similarities but she is not high masking, high functioning. Since it was my role to take care of her and because I am so familiar with her struggles, I tell myself that I couldn’t be because she is the example of what autism is and like you mentioned I felt that she needs the help so why would I take that away from her by seeking my own diagnosis? Those are the thoughts I have at least. Now I know that autism can express in different ways but I still have some self discovery to do and see if seeking a professional opinion would be beneficial or not for me. Whether I have autism or not, your videos have really helped me navigate my own struggles and put terms to things that I used to just hate myself for. I’m learning and growing in confidence in my own skin everyday though. Thank you!😊
I don’t think your diagnosis would take anything from autistic people who have higher support needs! For one, they would have already gotten their assessments and accommodations. Finding places to assess adults is difficult. Accommodations are also not limited. For example, my accommodations (not for autism DX, but related) were simply having extra time to take tests in a different space. Your sensitivity is commendable, but I don’t think you should feel guilty! You also sound like a great sister.
@@gigahorse1475 Once I realized I was autistic (very late), I realized that my best friend in high school was also autistic. He was "high masking"; I was not. That eventually broke up the friendship, since he conformed to "perceived social expectations" to an almost crazy degree, while I embraced my weirdness. Back when, I just thought he was just a cowardly conformist. But now I see it as masking. We were both like junior anthropologists--analyzing everyone else's behaviors and motivations. I now realize that we did this because people's behavior was utterly baffling to us. He tried to mimic normal behavior. I realized that wouldn't work, and just started winging it and hoping for the best. I remember him telling me once that he had a dream where a UFO landed and the ETs came up to him and said "It's time to go home." Curiously, my own vanity plate for about 10 years was Klaatu, the name of the extraterrestrial in The Day the Earth Stood Still. So I think we were friends because we were so alienated from everyone around us that we felt like aliens.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
Would you believe that I am 78 years old and just recently realized from watching videos and researching it that I have ASD. It explains my whole life for sure. It is such a relief to know that I am not a bad person who really needs to work on herself, but an autistic person who has done really well considering. I am coming to believe that people who are described as being a perfectionist and a control freak are really just autistic, trying to control the chaos.
52 years and finally getting a diagnosis. Having the vocabulary to FINALLY explain to others what has been going on inside my entire life. That is why diagnosis is so important. People who don't experience this would never understand how life changing a diagnosis ASD has been for me. 2.5 months post diagnosis. Its like having a new birthday.
yes, it's like having a new birthday!
I’m to petrified to pursue a diagnosis… but I am not doing well mentally, I’m so burnt out. I’m past the age of 50 and I just need to hang in there until I can retire. I’m in a much more demanding job than I was last year, and I don’t want to lose it because I couldn’t keep pace. There is no one in my circles that understands the stress that I’ve been under. I want to thank you so much for this channel. It helps just knowing what is going on with me…and…that I’m not the only one out there who has lived their entire life, not understanding why they have been struggling all these years.
Hang in there. I understand. ❤
I could’ve made this exact video word for word. I have had all of these feelings and thoughts. It really does change everything for the better. My diagnosis saved my life.
Absolutely!!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I just discovered my autism this week. I am 38 years old and I cannot believe that it took me this long to even consider it! My whole world has changed.
I just turned 53 in February, and I was diagnosed at age 53 with Asperger syndrome complicated by severe depression (now just referred to as "ASD," "major depressive disorder," and "anxiety disorder," "with 'possible' PTSD" now that the original psychiatrist only works with children. I was so happy to find your channel (video "How Stimming Changed My Life") early this morning! I knew there were others like me because someone wrote a nonfiction book about what it's like to be diagnosed as an adult before I quit procrastinating and did it, LOL. I've also seen a few shows on Netflix and Prime Video that involved people on the spectrum. You are the first person, however, who seems to say the and do the most things to which I can relate. Yay! (I'm a toe curler, too! And, when my dad wouldn't let me stay in the nursery during church anymore, and my leg would start to bounce during church, he'd put a gentle but firm hand on my knee and say quietly, "Stifle." [We just lost him June 2022, to Alzheimer's-type dementia. I am certain he went his entire life with undiagnosed spectrum disorder, as well as severe depression. He was everybody's favorite dentist/Boy Scout master, and he could be really fun and silly, but when he was out in hot weather and his body was overheated or he was having trouble with some kind of mechanical repair (especially if springs or Cotter pins were involved) he could be very frightening to be around. And once I was diagnosed, I understood it wasn't entirely his fault. He, of course, refused to go to any appointments with me unless it was under the guise of being for me. As soon as the questions started being turned toward him, he'd say, "I thought we were here to talk about (my daughter)." Two therapists and one psychiatrist tried. All failed.]) I was finally able to talk to Dad in the last few months of his life. We were lucky because he remembered who and what we were to him until he started to get so dermatologically (not the nursing home's fault--part of dementia) and sometimes mentally agitated Hospice had to sedate him.
Part of what helped me realize he had dementia (I was the first to see it) was my subscription to Brain & Life Magazine (free hard copy and online), which I had because of my epilepsy and neuropsychological conditions. I always read it cover to cover, though, because I find the human brain fascinating. As I was reading an article on Alzheimer's and dementia one day, I had all kinds of "Whoa!" moments, sort of like you speak of having after an adult diagnosis (another thing to which I and many of my adult relatives can relate, except those--*cough* my brother *cough* who think "labels" are things to avoid like pandemics--oh, wow, don't get me started on the "Mr. Spock" of the family.) But, that magazine is what led to Dad's early diagnosis--well, it and my continued insistence that Mom advocate and tell their doctor it wasn't just his hearing loss or the UTI because the changes had been happening for a while. If it weren't for that magazine and dad finally seeing a neurologist, we wouldn't have had him for as long as we did or as neurologically intact as we did.
As far as diagnosis of Asperger's: Even after my initial diagnosis, as I said, that psychiatrist closed the adult part of her practice and basically left me high and dry. The person to whom I was referred considered Asperger's to be Psychiatrist A's "pet diagnosis" (his exact words) and told me after talking to me for 10 minutes that I didn't have it, proceeding to diagnose me with Oppositional Defiant Disorder, a diagnosis generally reserved for teenagers. (Um, hello?) He then said if I insisted on "this Asperger's thing," he'd send me for psychoanalysis. The person who gave me the test rushed me on the questions, which you and I both know cannot possibly deliver accurate results for someone on the spectrum. (We're talking multiple choice questions involving "what would you do" scenarios, as well as either/or questions of the same type. There were also spatial relation questions and "click the button every time the figure appears on the screen" tests.) The very first paragraph of the results read, "This patient does not have Asperger's (Oh, I forgot to mention the neuropsychiatrist ordered a psychoanalysis specifically to "rule out" Asperger's.)," and then proceeded to describe several typical signs of Asperger syndrome I exhibited. Oh, it also said later in the report I would likely have future entanglements with law enforcement. (I was always the tattletale in school growing up. Yeah, right.) Guess that was picking up on the tendency to disrespect authority figures who treated me like garbage? Because there had been a recent history of that. But, I knew better than to mouth off to law enforcement. Even though I'm a white female, I was taught in driver's ed to say, "Yes, sir/ma'am," "No, sir/ma'am," in response to every question when pulled over or otherwise dealing with police, and to always ask before moving your hands from view. And, because one of my anti-seizure meds dilates my pupils, police assume I'm on illegal drugs when they see me (local officers, anyway), so I have to be extra careful not to incite reactionary-ism.
I finally found agreeable care in a psychiatric nurse at one of the three local community mental health care practices, believe it or not. She listens, she lets me choose whether or not to add meds (for the depression/anxiety, not the ASD), and she doesn't argue with any past diagnoses (other than the oppositional defiant disorder, and past pre-Asperger's diagnoses of OCD and ADD). She even jokes around with me, calling us "(milestone) sisters" because we share so many things in common once we reached that milestone.
I sincerely hope most others who are diagnosed as adults get their diagnosis and meet it with pride (it means you're really smart, no matter what you've been told in the past on your report card!) and enthusiastic research mode instead of turtle denial mode or, worse yet, denial mode. My mom's eldest surviving sister, once she "accepted" that she too might have it (she already knew she had a genius IQ--something I don't have), all of the sudden became all nicey-nice to me, after first telling me she didn't want to discuss what was "wrong with us" when Mom and I were trying to tell Grandma about my diagnosis. I'm still trying to forgive her for shutting me down before I could tell Grandma, and then suddenly changing her tune about Asperger's after Grandma had passed. (This particular aunt and I are currently in a holding pattern over another interference matter. This time, though, I'm "taking away her power," as my therapist puts it, no matter how hard she tries to keep it. Tell me I'm not a safe driver and get the entire family worried about Mom and me going on a trip to help my recently widowed aunt, your own sister, will you? Think again! From now on, she doesn't get to know our travel plans, and those who do will be under orders not to share them with her "because she apparently can't handle the stress anymore" [is how we'll word it].) But, boy, is it hard to be kind when people say such unkind things about you, even if they say it's out of concern and even if they say, "I sent you gas money!" To which I should have immediately replied, "My dad gave me hand-me-down vehicles and then used them as bargaining chips to get me to help him do work up north." She will get the point immediately because she and Dad had such an enmity that she asked Mom not to bring Dad to Grandma's funeral(!). Yeah. That's what she's like.
Oh, wow, have I gone all egocentric tangential verbosity here. Sorry. I've had a bad cold for a few days that's cost me a lot of sleep at night, which has caused me to miss my antidepressant a lot. When that happens, I get rant-y and/or reflective. I've managed to avoid being awful to my mom (I moved in with her to keep a closer eye) so far, but looking at this comment tells me I've got to get back to my meds right quick.
Oh! A little bit more about my original psychiatrist! The one who diagnosed me with Asperger syndrome? She saw me three times before diagnosing me, as well as having me get a blood test to rule out a thyroid disorder (developed hypothyroidism later) and an MRI to rule out something to do with the pituitary gland. Also of note, I doubt it was her "pet diagnosis" because she had brochures about ADD and ADHD on the table in her reception area. Anyway, she said there is no medicinal cure for Asperger syndrome (circa 2005); there are medicines to treat symptoms manifested by it, but the syndrome itself has no current cure. She told me if a doctor or anybody else ever tries to prescribe me something specifically for the Asperger syndrome, to leave and never return because that is malpractice. She did say if someone remains undiagnosed until adulthood, they can develop mental illness or even psychoses as their brain tries to deal with the stress of adapting to its environment. If those develop (most common are depression, anxiety, OCD [on top of the ASD-related compulsions and foci of interest], and/or ADD/ADHD), those do require medication almost always. She also said whenever someone on the spectrum receives a mental illness or especially a psychosis diagnosis, they should always get a second or even third opinion to confirm and never at the same facility or its affiliates. Just ask for a copy of the records (your right) and go to the next doctor until you get at least a 2/3 result. (I'd recommend 3/3 for psychosis diagnoses, as those meds can have much heavier side effects.) Also, with every new psychiatrist seen, be sure they know you've been diagnosed with ASD and it's the only diagnosis you've found that fits you best. You are the patient, and no one knows your body or brain better than you.
*safe hugs and butterfly wings*
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
“Finally being able to breathe in your own body” 🙌
I'm still awaiting my autism assessment after more than 2 years but researching and learning more about autism and especially how different people experience it has helped me grow and mature a lot. I've been way more accepting of my true personality and thus have been able to be more authentic over the years in different contexts. This can mean telling people my struggles in big social environments and asking them if they could accommodate for it, not being too harsh on myself if I've found certain social settings quite hard to manage, finding more optimal environments to study, better scheduling for my days, and especially remembering some of the amazing strengths of autism and applying that in everyday life (shoutout to that video of yours from a while ago on autistic strengths).
I'm following and just requested an appointment with a designated psychiatrist for diagnosis. Thank you for referring to the autistic strengths video, I will search for it. Would you please be able to describe what you mean by telling people your struggles in big social environments and asking them if they could accomodate for it? One of my hardest struggles is in the workplace. Is that the kind of environment you are talking about? I'd love to hear more about this part of your story, if that is ok. Thanks.
@@sharonagoren6751 I'd let them know that if I leave early it's because I might be too overwhelmed by the loud environment so they might try and make sure that it's not too loud. I would tell some people that I much prefer 1 to 1 conversations rather than in big groups and so people would be aware of it and would be fine to have a 1 to 1 convo with me rather than to always be engaged in the social group discussion. There was one time I told someone I'd prefer not to do small talk and they were fine with that and we had a nice long conversation about Maths. It's mainly in the social setting with friends. As for work (I'm still a student), I've been able to access study environments that are quiet and big so I can focus a lot better. I hope that answers the question.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Please look into camel milk- life changing
5:48 really hit the nail on the head for me, I think I am on the spectrum, there’s to many traits I’ve heard about that remind me of myself, I’ve found myself laughing at jokes I don’t understand since I can remember
Thank you for this, I got so much out of it. My assessment is scheduled for the end of March, and I’m pretty nervous about it. I keep having this fear that they’ll tell me I’m obviously not autistic and that I’m just trying to make excuses for my life. But what you said about the controversial nature of word “autism” and how no one is really wanting to run around saying they are autistic was especially helpful. It made me consider what the likelihood is that a neurotypical person would even be seeking an autism diagnosis for themselves. It’s a lot to consider and think about.
You're welcome. I have a Diagnostic Process playlist that might be helpful for you as you prepare for your assessment. ua-cam.com/video/J9TTW83NYHI/v-deo.html
It really helped me to write out why I felt I qualified for the diagnosis, and this helped my provider as well. I would recommend going off of the DSM-5 criteria and supporting each bullet point with information from your life. I've got a video that walks you through it. Hope this helps.
@@MomontheSpectrumThank you for linking the playlist, there are so many helpful videos on there! ❤
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Last week, one of my children was officially diagnosed. My test scores were exponentially higher than theirs. So in my mid 50s, I just found out that I’m on the spectrum. I have education, training and experience in the field of counseling and abnormal psychology.
Self-tested and diagnosed until I get in.
I’ve had one friend in childhood and I have no friends in adult. I always knew I was different, but I didn’t put the pieces together or even start a few years ago. but now it all makes so much more sense.
Thank you for what you do
6:15 yes! This basically describes me. A few years I was struggling so much, I reached a point where I couldn't really keep going. I was depressed and in a state of constant burnout. Eventually I realized I am on the spectrum and am still seeking an official diagnosis. I feel like a lot of undiagnosed adults live their lives until there is just too much demand and things just aren't working out for them because their autistic. They reach the point where they just can't keep going on the same way.
Yes exactly, and I think this also plays into why so many of us are unemployed/underemployed. We don't know how to understand or communicate our needs so we can't even begin to advocate for ourselves or ask for accommodations. Understanding ourselves is CRUCIAL to moving forward and living a fulfilling life.
@@MomontheSpectrum yes!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Hey…I have been gaslighting myself to the point of abuse. I was a dancer and in the entertainment world for most of my life. That lifestyle is akin the world of athletes….it’s all about “tough love” and “if you haven’t puked, you aren’t working hard enough.” Nothing gets you more respect than showing up to rehearsal even though they KNOW you are injured. We were rewarded for it. I was so proud of that mindset, because it really makes you feel confident and accomplished…working through the pain…we even learned to embrace pain (weird, I know…but I know I’m not the only one😅)…..but outside of training, it is toxic, af. Telling myself to “stop being so dramatic”, or, “quit being a 😼 and get over it” are things I am striking from my internal lexicon. It is like de-programming after escaping a cult. I am so blessed to have a my hubby around to stop me when I “tough loving” myself for things like being too tired to work, forgetting things, interrupting (also ADHD diagnosed)….and it has really been helping me too see how ABUSIVE I have been TO MYSELF. It has also become apparent that I have taken over the role of my mother (who is an AMAZING, intelligent woman) who has a PhD in “get over it”….which is very strong in the Black community, as we honestly do have let things “roll off your back” in general…..but it is VERY detrimental to mental, and physical health …. I am learning to be nurtur to myself. Your entire life should not look like boot camp.😂 Anyways…yeah…lots of work to do. 😬
I am treating this chapter of my life as a second childhood. Re-learning how to “human” feels like an opportunity, at times, and I am trying to lean into that. Good luck to everyone. It feels good to be *seen*.❤️🩹
I know your content is aimed primarily at women on the spectrum, however, SO MUCH of what you are saying applies to males as well. I'm 68, male, and have become quite good at masking. So good, in fact that I had fooled even myself. Yet still I couldn't figure out why (as you said) I feel so out of touch with other people, why I totally dread human contact, why my world seems foreign and separate. I am self-diagnosed - but it was so completely obvious to me, once I understood what autism was and took every manner of test, read every available book on the topic and looked honestly at myself. Your channel is the very best in content, in my opinion. Thank you.
Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words and you sharing your experience here. Glad you're part of the community!
I just called a social worker at my Dr's clinic to ask for a referral for diagnostics. I am 51 YO. Looking to solve the tension I feel and discomforts in my relationship with the world around me. Thank you for giving me the awareness! I have a little sense of relief already. I think.
Thanks for your comment Sharona! For what it's worth, I would advise making sure you schedule with a psychologist who has experience working with high fuctioning/high masking autistic adults. I have a lot of suggestions and referrals for you in the Big Autistic Resource Guide, which you can download for free here: www.momonthespectrum.life/the-big-autistic-resource-guide
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Just got the green light today moving my autism diagnosis forward. Now I just need to wait. My biggest hope becoming a late diagnost autistic is no longer feeling like a broken person.
OMG I have literally been using that ducks on the water analogy to describe myself all my life! After a lifetime of feeling like nobody really understood how hard life is for me, getting a formal diagnosis of Autism in my 50s is like being born again! So much so that I’m seriously thinking of changing my birthday celebration to my diagnosis date!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Im not diagnosed but I know I’m autistic. Finally at 44 my whole life makes sense. All the decisions I’ve made , how many jobs I’ve had, why I love working by myself, the sensory overload, all the things!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
right now only my mother and husband know about the autism. I am 39 and discovered this about myself this year. This week was the hardest but now I understand why. I attended my grandmother's funeral (she lived till 98) and now I am wishing everyone knew my diagnosis because it was draining. So many people hugging me thinking that it is comforting for me but it is not. I am so drained now and tired, so many people so many forced conversations and so much touching. But I don't say anything and kept masking because then people don't know at the time and they will just think I am rude or uncaring. It's so frustrating.
Yes this is an incredibly frustrating cycle. 💔
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I resonate with the 57 year old you mentioned. I'm diagnosed adhd,, but i know it's more. Its been a very frustrating and painful journey.
I LOVE the way you described masking here because everyone wants to call it "faking" but it's not necessarily intentional. I was taught so early on that I had to mask in order to survive that I just thought I was trying to be a good person or a good Christian or woman or, or, or. And I didn't feel like I was faking or trying to lie to anyone, I just thought I was learning how to grow in certain areas and ways.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
This is sooooo true for me, too! I thought that I was trying to be a good Christian and a mature person in general and that I was learning how to grow in certain areas and ways, too. I also was taught that I was under my husband's authority (hogwash), and that translated into me assuming I had change those things about me that he saw as immature, lazy and selfish (basically, how he was interpreting my autistic traits). It's been 15 years of this, and now after nearly 2 years of trauma therapy and only 2 weeks of looking into autism, I'm pretty convinced I'm autistic; and I'm getting back to some of who I used to be.
'I can quit striving, I can quit fighting to figure out -to be a person-I am whole'❤
Wow thanks for that😅
My nephew Bradley had autism he is quite intelligent but he has a complete lack of patience ,no concept of time,and he is pretty forgetful . Since I started using the alternative medicine by Doctor isibor herbs he has so much improved in everything and he is completely okay now I’m happy that there is a cure for autism which Doctor isibor herbs has provided
When you asked that question I immediately thought, "Everything." The point that I'm at now is that I can no longer afford to mask. My nervous system being in a state of over-activation for so long has taken a big physical toll and I refuse to keep going down that road. I make so much less eye contact now, I wear earplugs, I bring my guitar to poker night so I can go hide if I need to, I tell people that I can't switch tables during said poker night, I've stopped feeling like I need to be social when I don't feel like it, and overall, I'M TAKING MY INNER WORLD BACK AND IT FEELS GREAT.
Yes good point about the nervous system burnout that’s another important point of discussion
I do that too and to some extent I've always done, but the difficult thing is that it brings some rewards to mask. Recently I've been less and less able to mask and I see the weirded our reactions and I know if I masked I would be more accepted. During Christmas dinner I alway manage to be bubbly and social for the first part (an hour maximum) and then I'm physically and mentally exhausted and go to the sofa to read my book. The book helps me hide the fact that I just want to get away from people. It still passes as weird. I so often feel like I'm observing myself when in a social setting like that and I see myself slowly withdrawing. I want to accept myself as weird but there have been many lonely times in my life and I know that I CAN fake it. I just have to stop it altogether, little by little.
@@surlespasdondine I can totally relate. It was really difficult to get to this point. I think I'll always mask in some situations like work (if my body ever let's me do that again) and networking events, but when it comes to my friends and family, this is me (cue song from The Greatest Showman) and if they can't accept it and make space for it, that's really not my issue - it's theirs. I have every right to expect that the people closest to me treat me with kindness and respect, and so do you. I personally had to get to the point where I am showing MYSELF kindness and respect before I could really extend that expectation to others.
I didn't even realize I felt the way I did about my inner world until I posted that. It's all a lot of work, but it seems to be effective.
I have always given myself that permission. In high school, at a particularly phony party, I crawled under the living room table and waited for it to be over. I wasn't even embarrassed about it--just like F.....This!!! If a situation is awful I don't pretend otherwise; I remove myself. This may be seen as antisocial, but I don't really care. I have to play a situation the way I see it. Otherwise, who am I? Going along with everything just erodes your sense of identity. Nowadays I would probably just say "I don't feel well and need to go home." When people try to get me to do things I don't want to do, I totally dig my heels in, to the point of rudeness if needs be.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I'm 40 next year and I was diagnosed at the end of last year. I only worked out that I was autistic during the middle of the pandemic. I went through the inevitable existential crisis but came out on the other side a lot stronger and better equipped for the second half of my life.
I feel that as a late member of generation X, that we are the last generation to go through childhood without our autism being spotted, especially in those of us who would be classed as high functioning. I'm happy that so many young people don't have to live with the feeling of something being wrong that my generation and those before mine went through.
Life pretty much has begun for me at 40.
This video is the BEST!!! I am 58 and for the last year I’ve realised that I’m autistic. I have just been accepted for an assessment and am on the waiting list. Since realising I’m autistic, things have started to become easier. My relationship with my husband has been much calmer and more enjoyable. I’m having fewer meltdowns and he’s understanding me better, so he doesn’t overreact to my “weird” behaviour the way he used to. I am starting to forgive myself for a life’s worth of faking normality but failing at every turn, for being the rubbish friend, sibling, daughter, wife, mother, etc that I’ve always thought myself to be. It really is like “coming home”. My best friend and my eldest brother both reject the notion out of hand that I’m autistic, which really makes me angry, as I feel they should be supportive. I’ve not seen my friend for a while, as I’m struggling with her rejection, and her probing for info on whether or not I’ve been fake with her for all these years. People just don’t seem to understand autism in females. My brother used to teach, and he has only seen the typical autistic males, who present very differently to females on the spectrum, so he virtually shuts me down whenever I talk about it. I’m very tempted to share this video with my friend and my brother. Thank you for this gem!!!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
My comment may be deleted Quick Please look into camel milk- life changing
This is true to 100%. This is exactly the epiphany or awakening you have with your adult autism diagnosis.
i’m self identified as of last year, just before turning 30. The amount of times I said “YES!” during this video was wild 😅 thank you for giving me some words i needed to describe this experience
You're welcome! Thanks for your comment.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I'm 51 and have only recently come to the realization that i'm autistic. I'm going through menopause and i believe it has magnified my spectrum thinking and behaviors. I'm actually thrilled because like you said it brings my life more into focus. I can finally fully embrace my quirky brain. 😊
On the verge of tears. Thank you for this validation, and for providing a video I can share with those who I have had such difficulty explaining how, why, when I struggle, and why I need downtime.
You’re very welcome 🙏🏼
For me it was yesterday,a video came across me and OMG,i got a dr appointment to be tested, i got scared ,i thought im crazy,but undertanding and educating my self helps
I am watching this in tears. You have put into words what I’ve been feeling my entire life (I’m 34) but had no idea until recently what was really happening. My son was diagnosed with adhd and in researching how he really operates I found that I relate to so much of that. Then I came across signs of autism in women and it all came crashing down. THIS explains so much. Things I thought only I struggled with because I’m the problem. I’m going next week to get diagnosed and honestly I’m terrified. What if I’m not believed, what if I can’t articulate my thoughts, will they think I’m faking, etc. Anyway, thank you for your content. You have been a huge resource
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect.
It seems like it is tied to menopause as a trigger (the crossroads you mentioned). Don't know if it is hormones or what. I grew so exhausted trying to mask, that I gave up masking entirely. I could not work more than one day a week, I stopped answering my door, I began to stim more, and I could hardly sleep. My depression was worse, and I felt like an outsider more than ever. I literally had no f***s to give. This is what led to my autism diagnosis at 53. I could no longer cover my symptoms.
You also mentioned on gaslighting ourselves, thinking that our experiences aren't as real or as intense as they actually are.... but a few people i told about my autism diagnosis to are the ones telling me that... my experiences arent as real or intense as i 'claim' for them to be. It’s so weird to think an older woman would use autism as a flex? I mean, im not lying. I ACTUALLY have autism! So weird....
I discovered I was trans seven years ago, and that I'm on the spectrum four days ago.
The latter feels (though not by a large amount) crazier and a bit more overwhelming to me. Like this has been my life before AND after transition. I'm in that stage myself and this video is nice to see.
aw thanks for your comment. sounds like you are processing a lot about yourself! sending you wishes for lots of patience and grace for yourself during this time.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I'm not diagnosed. I'm an adult. But, after hearing your many, many, youtube informative videos, and many others' videos, I truly believe I'm on the spectrum. Thank you for all your educational videos. I'm not feeling as misfit anymore.
1:51 !!!!!!!!!! I just found out and I feel exactly everything you said there…. I’ve ALWAYS felt so different, life has been hard as hell for me, I do feel like a fake and don’t really know who I am but it really all does make sense now. Thank you so much for this video :)
You're very welcome! Thank you for your comment.
@@MomontheSpectrum of course, you’ve managed to help me figure out more about myself in 2 videos than anything/anyone in my 22 years of life :)
When I finally new I was , I laughed, cried , n I was fining myself being to realize I had to forgive a lot of family members for how they treated me, uncles, cuz, cause they were the same, I don't think they even knew, 💔, I had the biggest wait of my mine,
Thank you 🙏🏽 for your channel & your authenticity. 💜😊🥳
Nearly 53 & I’m just now coming to the conclusion that I am indeed on the spectrum & it is an immense relief! 💜🙏🏽
You are so welcome! I'm glad you're part of the community.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
Coming home. Yet not all want to come into this house.
Compassion and self grace is so comforting.
Taylor, thank you! It’s a new world for me, and suddenly everything makes sense! I’m 63 and am waiting on the “official” report, but I know already. It’s been a roller coaster with the discovery, and I have clarity. My therapist said she is in full agreement with the diagnosis. I don’t feel like an oddball, HIGH HIGH HIGH masking my entire life. I can breathe now. 🙏🙏
i'm breathing with you! so glad you can take a deep breath and better understand yourself. thank you for your comment.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I won’t tell others as the few people in my life would just look at with unbelief. Well my daughter knows. It is such a relief to know. Know why I did and said in my life. I’m 66.
Thank you for this video, I love hearing other’s perspectives since realising just how different each of our experiences truly is. I find it fascinating, for so long I thought everyone perceived the world very similarly to me, but I was so wrong.
The quote “I don’t want to take the label from people who really need it” really resonates. I think I might have said those exact words to a previous therapist. And to my Mum! I remember the apprehensions when first reading about common ASD characteristics and thinking maybe it is coincidence because it couldn’t possibly be me.
But now I too live a more compassionate and comprehensible life. The way I perceive and experience things is less confusing and frustrating to me, and my relationships are getting stronger. My partner & family has more patience & understanding for me, and on the flip side, I am learning not to leave myself in uncomfortable or overwhelming situations until I boil over and take it out on those around me. I’m learning to take my feelings and my experience more seriously - “if this is a struggle for me, then I don’t have to suppress it or convince myself that it’s not”.
I will say that my masking experience was not apparent to me. I think I masked so much that I wasn’t aware of it. But upon reflection, my behaviours at the end of the day and in my safe space were so different to who I was in other places and for other people. I think not only because I was masking by default, but also because the day was so taxing like that. And by the end of the day I am spent and do not have capacity to mask anymore. I do remember many times in my life reviewing who I presented as though, and feeling like I didn’t like that person, and therefore wanted to change my external-facing self again.
Coming to terms with the belief that I am autistic has led to me trying more to be my authentic self, and in turn spare energy for myself and the people who matter most to me.
And I am so grateful to my Mum and partner for supporting me and not changing the way they treat me. And especially for my Mum taking such an active interest in neurodiversity as a topic and wanting to read about it and willing to talk about the internalised parts of me that she’s not familiar with and which have been buried for so long. ❤️
👏👏👏 yes to all of this!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I was officially diagnosed this year, aged 57. I “knew” I was autistic so I didn’t think it would affect me very much but the weeks following my diagnosis were a hugely emotional period for me. First was relief; I was right and am just different. Then came depression. I was very very sad for the child me that never received the support or understanding that they needed.
You expressed everything I’ve been through including the desire for a late diagnosis and how relieved I’d feel to finally know . Especially encouraged by you pointing out how very difficult life gets as you get older and how exhausting it is just to get through the day. Thank you for validating everything I’ve felt my whole life!
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
I'm 21 and I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. I first heard of the classic symptoms in middle school and immediately found them relatable. Every time I heard the word, all I could think was, "that's me." Nobody believed me when I told them, because as you said, what is seen on the surface is only the tip of the iceberg, or the duck gliding across the pond in complete serenity. I was convinced I was just a hypochondriac, and that made things so much worse. After just a few years out on my own, I had enough, opened up to close family members about everything, and was diagnosed within months. I finally gave myself the permission to believe this is a fact of life, and my quality of life has skyrocketed since. It really does feel like coming home, to "my people" as I love saying. Like everything in life just falls into place and suddenly makes sense. Simply being able to say out loud that "I'm autistic" has been a gamechanger. My generation is typically seen as hypochondriacs and wimps that want attention, but my coworkers, family members, and friends will be much more open to hearing my case through someone such as yourself. Thank you for your video, this means the world to me.
It's true, my 7yo son had Dr Oyalo herbal treatment for his Autism and within 2 weeks drastic changes were observed, mainly at school, speech, social skill, and in other traits too he made significant progress
My watershed moment: allowing myself to wear sunglasses and noise-cancelling earbuds in brightly-lit and noisy shops, and being comfortable enough that if anybody says anything about it...I'll just tell them I'm autistic, knowing that I won't be the uncomfortable one.
Seems like a daft thing to a lot of folk, but to me...that was the realisation that I _could_ actually stop adapting every last part of myself to the world, and have it to adapt to me instead.
No need to explain yourself
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
The most useful thing in this video for me, is the "our demands have exceeded our capacity", whether it's emotional, psychological, cognitive, etc. Thank you for the video, good luck to all who face such difficulties in everyday life.
Wow, I sooooo relate to everything you've talked about in this video - I'm also in my 50's & only realized maybe a month ago that I'm on the spectrum, but once it clicked, EVERYTHING made sense! My childhood quirkiness, my awkward social skils, etc.. So now I'm at a place where I'm trying to figure out what things are from past trauma that I should work on, vs what things are just part of being autistic? What behaviors are my mask vs what are authentic? For instance, I now realize that my constant fidgeting is stimming so I'm ok with not "fixing" that as I realize it's not a flaw & is actually probably helpful. Another example would be maybe addictive tendancies towards eating or shopping, which I should try and fix if I want to stay at a healthy weight or not go broke, which could maybe be magnified by my autism (OCD). These are the weird things that I'm now struggling with, what's based on my nature vs what's based on nurture? I don't want to use autism as an excuse to maybe have bad habits or some emotional issues that I should be working on, but then I do want to figure out who I am & be ok with some of my "oddities", so to speak. If all that makes sense..
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
You are a gift. I am 52 I have 4 kids -1 autistic and always thought I was just different and not social . I don’t have an official diagnosis but I know I am. It is like coming home.
I also think a diagnosis might give me more of an excuse to retire to the sofa with my book during social gatherings.;)
Finally understanding myself at 44 really is a relief. It doesn't fix everything, but it answers a lot of questions I'd given up on answering long ago. Thanks for running your channel. It helps.
You can go and go, even for 58 years, without a diagnosis, but with what I called "nervous breakdowns," or burnouts and agoraphobia happening regularly, leaving you broken and exhausted in bed all summer just so you can face the awful anxiety of teaching in front of people 2 days a week for 9 tortuous months, never understanding why you can't just "buck up" and use "will power" to push through all that "silly" anxiety and feel the "joy" of teaching and writing books. But, wait. The overwhelming load of teaching takes up so much of your energy, you can barely mow the lawn let alone write a book, and the interoception has left your body broken and barely hanging on just like you've been doing for the last 30 years. I get it, now, sister. And I feel a little better.
💯
My breakdown started around covid then 5 years later I have a new life. I have started my own channel. I am doing contact Improvisation dance regularly. Recording and releasing music.
As soon as I knew what the "issue" was and the masking started to fall away everything started to change for the better.
Late diagnosed at 56.
I finally know who I am and I do not have to spend every day dysregulated and highly stressed. yah!!!!
So how do you get that sense of self back?
Or I guess in my case how do you find it in the first place
My entire existence is trying to be what those around me need or want me to be
omg 😪 me too. When I'm trying to be myself I just weird people out.
Spend a few weeks alone
Travel
Yes and it's infuriating when I see articles about "Doctors" saying it's not useful for adults.
I was diagnosed at age 31 also. I'm now 44. I never got any post diagnosis support so I spent 14 years just fumbling my way trying to adjust and learn. I developed migraines, facial pain and coeliac disease. As well as depression and anxiety but those came before my diagnosis. I can't hold down a job anymore (Not that I could to begin with) so I live of social security, in isolation, in social housing. It's an incredibly scary way to live. You never know when your sole source of income will just be taken from you. And being in constant physical pain makes it hard to do most things. Just thinking straight is a struggle in itself.
Purely out of fear of becoming homeless I'm working with a community support worker to change myself, do what I can and MAYBE (If I can get the fees waived) try University again. I dropped out in my 20s because I was undiagnosed with no support so couldn't cope.
If I can't get into university I will try something else. Vanlife maybe. Having a vehicle I can live comfortably in before becoming homeless would lift a huge mental burden off of me. But also being trapped in my home and town because of the remoteness of where I live and poor public transport just adds to my depression. Going to a big city takes a lot of planning and I certainly couldn't stay late to attend events that are in the evening as I cant afford accommodation.
And 14 years of being isolated has taken it's toll. I start having panic attacks just trying to make myself go outside let alone traveling. But at the same time I feel safe when I'm left alone in my little bubble just aimlessly drifting through life not enjoying anything but also not being stressed by anything. Though thats not really a life is it? Another reason why I'm trying to change.
But it's so very hard trying to change your life when you've lived like this for so long and I can't change my physical health issues and certainly not my autism. Those will be with me for life. So what can I change? Learn to integrate back into society but on my own terms as an autistic person. Whether I'm accepted or not depends on society and most of the time we aren't accepted are we. All I can do is try and see where it goes.
As well as trying to get into university I'm trying to move to a large city. Big city means more chances for events and activities to get me out the house, maybe even socialise a little bit. Who knows.
But it's a very long and hard road ahead. I know that. And being 44 in poor health I could just die one day during my journey to reclaim my life from my autism. Thats a scary thought. Not the dying but that I would never get to enjoy the fruits of my efforts by enjoying life once I turned my life around. I could be having a panic attack one day as I try to be more social and suddenly have a heart attack. Then it's lights out. For all the effort put into better yourself, for it to end without ever enjoying what could have been... Thats sad. But will it stop me from trying? No.
Though if I'm unable to get into university I admit that one would be a heavy blow. If only there was funding for adults with high functioning autism to further their education without putting ourselves in debt. I know at my age I certainly don't want to take on any student loans. I'd never be able to pay them off.
I love that phrase "our demands have exceeded our capacity." It so perfectly describes where I'm at right now
I feel like this is why I started smoking when I was 11 and now at 50, every one of your videos describes my entire life. It ALL makes sense
I have heard other people say that about smoking as well!
I can relate SO MUCH with the lady who's comment you read! I am 55 and I am just now realizing why I'm the person I really am on the inside. I am also feeling relieved to finally understand myself and be gentle and compassionate with myself. I've spent too much time feeling like a failure and overwhelmed with guilt.
Diagnosed at 51. Changed my life now I'm able to understand myself better. Eat mackrel every day and life is amazing.
Hi! Could you make a video about on how to have patience with neurotypicals? For example, how to deal with their facial expressions, judgemental body language, frowning etc.
I'm waiting to be seen for assessment. I'm so afraid that they'll tick me off as 'not autistic' but the more videos on the topic I watch, the more articles I read... I'm ticking so many boxes and the whole "feeling fake" thing is very much ME as a kid and up until now. I do tend to act 'myself' more than I feel some do because I learned early enough that it made me happier, but I do still feel like I repeat phrases, do things that I've seen others do and have been accepted for. x.x
Wow ❤ I am as yet undiagnosed… but I highly believe that all of these symptoms are me. Recently my son was diagnosed with Autism &Add and whilst we were doing his assessment my husband looked at me, and said- this is you. I can’t believe I hadn’t connected it as I was so focused on my son. I’m in the process of being diagnosed, and after seeing this understand that I need to know -thank you.
I just got my autism diagnosis today at 21 and it is a relief a huge relief