The strength in your words are contagious. Thank you so much! I found myself in a stonewalling rut the last 24 hours which, my man doesn't deserve to suffer for due to the state of my destructive thoughts. Thank you for bringing me back to a productive mindset!
Wife experiences lower libido after a few years in marriage and kids - Husband takes it as he is not desired or wanted, feels unloved - everything except him is the priority. So, he distances himself due to the constant rejection (devastating to be turned into a financial and task oriented mule instead of a partner). Wife removes emotional connection due to the distance and the husband becomes frustrated and angry about it - further feeding the mental justification that the Wife has - to withhold intimacy and disconnect emotionally - then once the kids become older (if extra-marital affairs are avoided) - you are left with an emotionally and physically divorced marriage simply living like roommates and raising kids, paying bills without any of the love and connection that made the marriage possible in the first place. Then, to add to the fun - she experiences hormone changes and that compounds everything because NOW she really feels nothing but complete disconnection and a need to express and find herself - leaving the marriage in dust with no hope of recovery since no physical affection is going to happen to even try and spark things back.
@@82DevilsNDisguise Add in use of beta blockers for anxiety (Propranolol) and SSRI meds (Prozac daily for migraines) and it's a combination to simply kill emotions of love, romance and all sexual desire. Fricking doctors just handing out relationship ruining meds like M&M's with no warnings, discussion or monitoring...
@@jasonbaker4120 Is she on an SSRI (Prozac)? Does she take any beta blockers for anxiety, or statin drugs for cholesterol? All of these work in concert to negate feelings of affection / romance, along with the SSRI killing libido, inability to orgasm and numbness of genitalia. The doctors throw meds around like M&M's never discussing the horror of relationship destruction as a side effect
I missed or avoided the signs too. My control came from so many external factors that felt out of control. The more out of control it felt, the more controlling I became. He didn't open up about his perceptions. I believed it was external, he believed it was our marriage. My attempts to control was all with good intentions to protect us and our futures but I missed the signs. We created a tragedy, equally, together, all with the best of intentions. So sad. Dead zone. Chapter closed. Hope I can grow from this.
Just stumbled onto Monika’s videos. Her material resonates w/ as a male. Spouse started to pull away about 7 yrs ago. Found out her friends were either cheating or separated. Found out spouse was expressing love to him. I’ve apologized for past behavior.. she hasn’t apologized much less admits an affair. We’ve each built a wall and simply co-exist. Thou I get a feeling that there are days she wants to be chased. I find that as a nonstarter,
This is really good, and I only listen to the first 10 minutes of this video only because I listened to one of your other videos called "Emotional disconnection in Marriage" that I though was excellent. Looking forward to hearing more of your insight. Thank you!
Such great content - thank you, Monica. I have only come to see your very insightful, perhaps recurring patterns of relationships that are challenging. Much ti learn from your videos. Will soldier on and try to learn. 😊
This is us. She told me i had chances to change along thr way, but out of the fear of facing childhood problems with my father, i did didn't get thr help i needed until she wanted the divorce. She filed, moved out and is pursuing other relationships, even though I've made changes. There has to be some way to win her back, but it feels hopeless, now ive chased her so much, and she's lost all attraction, so she just sees me as a relative. Please tell me there's some way to still win her back before she moves on and marrys someone else!
Men don't open up and be vulnerable because it will be used against you in the future. Only good news, success, and winning are then shared while failures are obscured. That's the dynamic when contempt and criticism are what is often shown.
I would love to see a video where a man speaks on all of this so that I can show it to my husband and it may sink in. I love Monika and all of her work, but he simply won't take it in if it's coming from a woman. I'm not going to protect him, that's just the way it is.
I'm a man who is having marriage problems. Monica has helped me to understand a lot. If he can't take advice from someone just because they're a woman then that's no good. I see what you're saying though. I feel like if I showed my wife these videos she wouldn't take it well anyways even though it'd probably help because she's so spiteful right now
Hi Monika, appreciate your videos. Thank you! Currently going through something similar although we are not married, but finding these tips really helpful. Love all the way from Malaysia :) hoping things come through for my relationship, love this guy very much.
What kind of future a woman spect if the emotion are controlling ur self,get ur self guts and be realistic and the end of the days u will die no matter what u do or not do
financial problems over and over due to someone making poor choices without including the other party in making decisions financially. We owned a business for 17 yrs and sold it made barely anything because of huge debts.
And there's always a RETURN if u have the strength to not be a selfish and if ur couple don't want to cooperate it's very simple just look him at the eyes and tell him then u are going to fuc, someone else and watch the change he will make
Men's we are in most cases a provider's and we put the chest to the bullets,unfortunately there's idiots aut there like woman's wo cheats and fuc, everything up,if happiness is what u want u can party a lot bur remember not always its like that
The strength in your words are contagious. Thank you so much! I found myself in a stonewalling rut the last 24 hours which, my man doesn't deserve to suffer for due to the state of my destructive thoughts. Thank you for bringing me back to a productive mindset!
Wife experiences lower libido after a few years in marriage and kids - Husband takes it as he is not desired or wanted, feels unloved - everything except him is the priority. So, he distances himself due to the constant rejection (devastating to be turned into a financial and task oriented mule instead of a partner). Wife removes emotional connection due to the distance and the husband becomes frustrated and angry about it - further feeding the mental justification that the Wife has - to withhold intimacy and disconnect emotionally - then once the kids become older (if extra-marital affairs are avoided) - you are left with an emotionally and physically divorced marriage simply living like roommates and raising kids, paying bills without any of the love and connection that made the marriage possible in the first place. Then, to add to the fun - she experiences hormone changes and that compounds everything because NOW she really feels nothing but complete disconnection and a need to express and find herself - leaving the marriage in dust with no hope of recovery since no physical affection is going to happen to even try and spark things back.
You described my exact situation up until hormones part. Sorry if you went through this. It’s a total mindf**k
@@82DevilsNDisguise Add in use of beta blockers for anxiety (Propranolol) and SSRI meds (Prozac daily for migraines) and it's a combination to simply kill emotions of love, romance and all sexual desire. Fricking doctors just handing out relationship ruining meds like M&M's with no warnings, discussion or monitoring...
My situation completely. Kids are now teenagers. Wife will not connect on any level.
@@jasonbaker4120 Is she on an SSRI (Prozac)? Does she take any beta blockers for anxiety, or statin drugs for cholesterol? All of these work in concert to negate feelings of affection / romance, along with the SSRI killing libido, inability to orgasm and numbness of genitalia. The doctors throw meds around like M&M's never discussing the horror of relationship destruction as a side effect
This is me
I missed or avoided the signs too. My control came from so many external factors that felt out of control. The more out of control it felt, the more controlling I became. He didn't open up about his perceptions. I believed it was external, he believed it was our marriage. My attempts to control was all with good intentions to protect us and our futures but I missed the signs. We created a tragedy, equally, together, all with the best of intentions. So sad. Dead zone. Chapter closed. Hope I can grow from this.
Just stumbled onto Monika’s videos. Her material resonates w/ as a male. Spouse started to pull away about 7 yrs ago. Found out her friends were either cheating or separated. Found out spouse was expressing love to him. I’ve apologized for past behavior.. she hasn’t apologized much less admits an affair. We’ve each built a wall and simply co-exist. Thou I get a feeling that there are days she wants to be chased. I find that as a nonstarter,
This is really good, and I only listen to the first 10 minutes of this video only because I listened to one of your other videos called "Emotional disconnection in Marriage" that I though was excellent. Looking forward to hearing more of your insight. Thank you!
This video is worth it’s weight in gold. Great insight and information. Thank you so much
I’m watching this crying, 52 years and he told me he wants a divorce, because of everything you just shared. I who’s I found you sooner❤
Such great content - thank you, Monica. I have only come to see your very insightful, perhaps recurring patterns of relationships that are challenging. Much ti learn from your videos. Will soldier on and try to learn. 😊
This is us. She told me i had chances to change along thr way, but out of the fear of facing childhood problems with my father, i did didn't get thr help i needed until she wanted the divorce. She filed, moved out and is pursuing other relationships, even though I've made changes.
There has to be some way to win her back, but it feels hopeless, now ive chased her so much, and she's lost all attraction, so she just sees me as a relative. Please tell me there's some way to still win her back before she moves on and marrys someone else!
Can you make a video why 50% of divorces regret it?
Really???
@@jp5419 if you dont want to watch it dont.
@@jp5419 really
Men don't open up and be vulnerable because it will be used against you in the future. Only good news, success, and winning are then shared while failures are obscured. That's the dynamic when contempt and criticism are what is often shown.
Thank you for this great video, Monika!
I would love to see a video where a man speaks on all of this so that I can show it to my husband and it may sink in. I love Monika and all of her work, but he simply won't take it in if it's coming from a woman. I'm not going to protect him, that's just the way it is.
I'm a man who is having marriage problems. Monica has helped me to understand a lot. If he can't take advice from someone just because they're a woman then that's no good.
I see what you're saying though. I feel like if I showed my wife these videos she wouldn't take it well anyways even though it'd probably help because she's so spiteful right now
I really appreciate this video thank you!
Thank you Debbie! ❤️
Boy does this sound familiar.
Hi Monika, appreciate your videos. Thank you! Currently going through something similar although we are not married, but finding these tips really helpful. Love all the way from Malaysia :) hoping things come through for my relationship, love this guy very much.
Thank you Sarah! Sending virtual hugs! ❤️
we’re watching this because we’re at that point …
This is a few years old. Are you still offering a free phone consultation ?
They do
What kind of future a woman spect if the emotion are controlling ur self,get ur self guts and be realistic and the end of the days u will die no matter what u do or not do
financial problems over and over due to someone making poor choices without including the other party in making decisions financially. We owned a business for 17 yrs and sold it made barely anything because of huge debts.
And there's always a RETURN if u have the strength to not be a selfish and if ur couple don't want to cooperate it's very simple just look him at the eyes and tell him then u are going to fuc, someone else and watch the change he will make
This is totally my situation!
Do you offer marriage advice one on one please?
Thank you
We are gonna get old no matter what, and watching ur grandchildren around u l think is more better then thinking about ur happiness been selfish
So many Goddamn ads....
This is great but too much lip smacking, it's distracting.
People keeping for divorce he needs pay more money
Men's we are in most cases a provider's and we put the chest to the bullets,unfortunately there's idiots aut there like woman's wo cheats and fuc, everything up,if happiness is what u want u can party a lot bur remember not always its like that