@@deveshkumar4223 It's not ungratefulness, it's forgetfulness. Remaining worries make you forget about past worries and the little positive things, even when they had a big impact!
@@deveshkumar4223Yeah, i watch a few Channel who Show the difference in countrys. I'm Always surprised how good we have it in Germany. It's not perfect and some stuff really has to Change, but it could Always be worse.
Unless you’re muslim hejabi woman then it would be a horrific experience. I had a transit flight there once with my mother and I’ll never forget that trauma
@@arwarum I live in east Germany, Here are a lot of muslim's. Women who wear hijabs. I Work with two and they never Had any Problems. Not more than everyone Else. Here you rather get called Bad names when you are overweight or Look as If you didn't shower much. But not as people of different color or Religions. I'm sorry that you Had a Bad experience, and Hope you are okay.
Learning how to say "no" is a vital skill. I unfortunately only learned after coming out of an abusive relationship. Whether it's culture or a bad partner, saying no is human right and you should never be shamed for it.
I am very sorry you have been abused. Did you do therapy afterwards and sued your partner? Because both can help gain confidence and strength back. All the best to you.
I believe many women world-wide are conditioned this way from a very young age, go along to get along. I too am emerging out of the other end of it. Live and peace to you.
@@straightflush6095sueing your ex partner such an American thing,many women just want to get away and forget the bad time,not bring it back in a courtroom where his lawyer would put you down and degrade you even more to make you look like it's all your fault!
@@ninazacharia3003 ?? What has that to do with america? I'm german and I think it is important to sue your ex partner if he abused you because he needs to be punished for the things he did and he needs to be stopped, so that he cannot abuse other women too! If he get sentenced, this will have a very negative impact on his life and maybe he will regret his actions and change his behaviour. Of course its hard to go through this process, I get your point. But it is important to stop people like that and the only way to do that is via justice
Yes I feel the stopped worrying about my appearance/outfit thing. My European friends once sat me down, gave a ted talk and almost made me recite this : wear what I want and feel comfortable with/in, and go out with confidence. If others have a problem, that’s on them. It might sound ridiculous but the burden of worrying about what others think of your look and clothing is tooo real🥺
Well, it's not the whole of Europe. I'm from Europe as well, but in my country, you definitely get judged for your appearance, clothes etc. Makes you real self-conscious.
It’s not about whether or not others judge you - some people will always need a reason to look down on others, because they are deeply insecure themselves - it’s about whether or not you let other people decide what you wear, how you look and how you feel and think about it. It’s about making these decisions yourself and growing up to an adult. As long as other people’s opinions are more important in your life than your own, you still a child and follow orders.
@@ichraumauf5532 Almost like people want to have friends and fit in and feel accepted. Oh the horror. How dare they care if others like them or not, everyone should just be alone 😂
"My appearance doesn't define me anymore." Indeed. I experienced this HUGE change as well. Back in the Philippines, I went through it so much- THAT appearance is an utmost MUST. However, here in Sweden, I can be free without being judged on what I wear or how I look like. Nor be bullied by my own family for being too skinny or when I gain a a kilo or two. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
a fellow filipino 🥲❤️ growing up it didn’t matter what I did with my appearance because I would get a mean comment no matter what, too skinny, too fat, showing too much skin, dressed like a boy etc 🙄 someone always had something to say!
@@yoongibean A sad reality. I was bullied a lot too. Even my own family members would call me names when I gain weight or whenever I am too skinny. And back in high school, never did I enjoyed it because of the bullies. ☹️
As someone who lived my whole life in an Asian country but studied abroad in the west for 6 months, those months were liberating, self-esteem boosting, and made me value myself as an individual beyond social norms ✨
I'm so glad to hear you've experienced so many positives regarding boundaries and self-worth. Boundaries are very healthy and it's very difficult to accept, especially when you're a woman and/or your culture tends to ignore their value. Congratulations (:
That's good that you've learned to set boundaries. You have the right to say NO. And alot of people don't know that NO is a complete sentence. You don't have to explain why you said no to anyone. ❤
Keep shining! You are changing the world, my darling. I don’t think you quite understand the massive impact you are having upon people’s from all over the globe. What a blessing you are. ❤
I'm german. And in kindergarten they thaught us that you can say no. No matter in what situation you are, you are allowed to say ''NO!'' out loud when you want to. Also they thaught us not to drink alcohol when we get older. I still follow these 2 things.
I was in kindergarden in 1975. They told me that if i want to archive something in my life, i will have to learn and to work, and that both can be a real pleasure if you are the one to choose. we shall try everything and then do what fits us best. and we did. we had a good teacher who often told us "probier es aus!" (just try it). nobody taught us officialy about alcohol, or smoking, in my entire life. I never smoked but one cigarette, it did not taste good, it was awkward. yuck. We drank a lot (no internet yet, you had to drink the local girls pretty 😂), and I am glad I did, no FOMO left over here. I have fond memories of being pretty hammered and singing country roads and sweet home alabama by the camp fire. no spotify back then either 😊 I never did other stuff, and stopped drinking just like that at the age of 34. it was no fun any more, so why keep doing it? I guess is was a much different time back then. (writing this while literally drinking my evening cup of nettle infusion😂)
The being taught to always say yes is so relatable. My mom always taught me “you never say no”, which is the worst thing to teach a child from a young age. 💖
@@alexguerra1668 You said it perfectly. My mom really taught me to put myself on the back burner and become everyone’s personal slave, and my feelings aren’t valid. I just turned 30 and now on my own after getting out of another abusive relationship, and I’m trying to switch my thinking and start caring about myself and finally saying no. Which it’s crazy how hard it is to say no and how guilty you feel doing it, as if you don’t deserve to say no. I guess that’s what comes with having toxic, abusive, alcoholic parents and a mom that says “you never say no” even if your drowning.
This is exactly what my parents did to me. I am from Poland and my parents taught me that there is no such answer as no, it was not allowed. They have no idea how much this has scarred me. Not only has it caused me to get hurt and be in dangerous situations but also caused emotional damage. I am also 50 years old and still suffering.
@@SoundOfOceanBlue 🥺🫶🏻 I’m so sorry. I completely understand how much damage it does and how it affects you. It might sound weird to people who haven’t been through that and was taught you never say no. To some it seems so “easy” like just say no. But it really isn’t that simple when it’s been pounded into you. I hope that things are getting better for you because you deserve to say no and you deserve to be put first and not feel guilty for doing so. I know it’s easier said then done, but we should 100% be able to say no and not have repercussions for it or ultimatums and made to feel like we are piece of sh*ts. I’m sending you lots of love. 💖
I can say I feel exactly the same about all points mentioned. Even though my experience was moving from Romania ( Europe) to Netherlands ( Europe). It's very sad what are the expectations for women in Eastern Europe. They are toxic af and you realise this only when you move to a normal country.
My German grandmother never spoke about appearance - she wanted to know how well I could debate, study other languages and what my plans are for education. She had deep conversations with me and I loved talking to her. Great channel. ❤
I live in a Muslim country and I started wearing Hijab at 18(only showing my hands and face). I stopped caring about my appearance then and started focusing on my studies and work. I'm not saying you should be a hijabi to achieve that but the concept still remains. people can't judge what they can't see. You are in control remember that. you don't owe anyone.
This was a brain-F for me. All us "Western Women" see that as the patriarchy winning but srsly..it's the most badass shit ever. no one gets to look at you. you OWN THE RIGHT TO THAT. I LOVE THIS. THANK YOU. @@fictionaddiction4706
I was scouring the comments for someone saying what it was it looked like luffa to me. I'm growing luffa and bottle gourds for the first time this year!
It’s sold at my local Indian grocery in NM, as well as bitter melon. I can also find winter melon. The only thing I can’t ever find is real natto (Jaoanese condiment) and I’d really like to see what it’s like, it’s so healthy.
Some people dont overcome their people pleasing behaviour, some people are just born with it, though they can learn on how to minimize it Edit: before you mfs get mad at me let me tell you that humans are different and different humans are bornt with different purpose, different purpose means different personality, preferences and wants. Humans are social animal and live in groups so different people gotta exists, some are leaders, some are followers, givers and recievers and many different things. But nurture also contributes to this, lool at Uyen, shes a reciever type of person taught to be a giver, but she quickly grew out of the giver mentality once shes gets in the reciever position, by nature she is a reciever but by nurture she is a giver. I know it doesnt suit your believes and it scares the dumb out of you diversity exists, but please try to look from different perspective before you comment anything mean.
I adore Uyen! Grown, and learned so much, all while keeping us very entertained! “My appearance doesn’t define *me* anymore“ -so many of us needed to hear that! Thank you!!❤
As a German woman in her thirties I have to say that I feel very much defined by my body. I'm not overweight but not skinny either and when I was a teenager it was drilled into me by society and my surroundings that one has to be skinny or toned to be beautiful.
I feel you... I moved to Germany and initially it was refreshing that e.g. I wasn't expected to wear high heels everywhere. But after I gained 5 kg due to hormonal issues my husband left me for a very slim and petite coworker...
I think it's a global issue, but I think I understand why she feels it's easier for her in a western country. I don't know but I suspect in vietnam it's less taboo for strangers to make comments about looks whereas in the west our family might take it upon themselves to remind you of it(and she is also living away from family...)
In den 2000ern aufzuwachsen war in diesem Aspekt einfach scheiße. Ich glaube, die heutigen Erwachsenen trauen sich nicht mehr die Körper von Teenagern zu kommentieren.
As a German it is nice to see your perspective, it's a great reminder to be thankful of our society. We have outliers, of course, but overall people are very much taught to focus on their own lifes before judging others. At least out loud. For every person that may say mean, superficial things there will be ten that tell them to shut up and mind their own business. I'm very happy to hear that you are having a good time here, thank you for sharing your experience!
@@annabanana123451 wha-what? post holocaust, like nobody really talks about it anymore here or even really things about it, and no its has always been like that where more focused on other things than rating someone else life sure you would sometime hear a bit of mockery but thadts about it really lol
@@weowweoew It might have been a societal shift after the atrocities committed and allowed by Germans that they realized they don’t have the right to criticize others. I don’t know. In the circles I’m in in the US we don’t really talk about appearances or education. Here, higher institutional education isn’t accessible to everyone because it’s incredibly expensive so it’s pretty elitist to talk about it. Disappointed to hear Germans aren’t talking about the holocaust daily. Your country hasn’t nearly made reparations and it should be affecting you daily.
Very true. I’m half Vietnamese so I know from experience that Vietnamese people are brutal with their criticisms, especially when it comes to appearances.😢 I’m so glad you don’t have to deal with that anymore. You’re so lovely - inside and out!! 💖
I am surprised at Vietnamese criticism culture. I don't know why I'm surprised. I thought they were better than us. Uyen I like your hair style, it suits your face. I lived in Hawaii and most Asian American people there still have that cultural thing about skin color, eye shape, height, etc.
Growing up in Germany, I am surprised that Uyen pointed that out as I myself experienced it a lot when I was younger. I guess, it depends on where you live and the social environment you happen to have.
This is so heartwarming. Thank you for sharing! I definitely relate to the learning how to set boundaries thing. I relate to the others too but the boundary thing really stuck out.
Don't ever let anyone define you. You cannot please everyone, therefore trying you will disappoint everyone. Seek only to be found pleasing to your creator and yourself, then the ones you love (with boundaries)and no one else. Everyone do this and find your true self ❤ I love you lady and your channel and supportive spouse. You are wonderful, have a great personality and your videos make a lot of people smile ❤🎉
This is so true. I'm a Vietnamese and I was always insecure about my looks. Until I moved to America, people don't care about how others look. In fact, I'm considered as beautiful which no one ever told me in my entire life. Eventually, I get more confident, I start makeup and wear dresses and all. It feels great to love yourself no matter what
It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? As soon as you develop confidence in yourself, you want to dress up for yourself. :) I hope you continue to love yourself.
I am Brazilian and I can relate to all that (although I don't live in Germany, I have lived in Ireland and I live now in California). I went back to Brazil for 2 years and people didn't like when I set boundaries and they had to learn that I would dress the way I would like to and not necessarily in a socially accepted way.
I am also brazilian and I live in Germany! I can totally relate to almost everything what she said, especially the one about her appearance. I just can’t relate to the last one 😂 I don’t understand how Germany can be so wealthy and so bureaucratic at the same time. It drives me crazy 😂😅
A cultura de agradar os outros é muito forte no Brasil. Isso é muito ruim pq as pessoas acabam se tornando presas fáceis para diversos tipos de abuso e com baixa autoestima.
I'm French, I've been living in Germany for 12 years now and I relate to what you said about appearance. Here nobody gives a crap about how you're dressed (except if it's not weather-appropriate 😅) and it's so nice.
I understand about the body shaming. 🤗🤗 My path to feeling good in my physical body has not been easy. But I am heavier than is healthy for my height, and I can feel it. Much of it is due to stress and emotional trauma. I already struggle with hypothyroidism, so the stress doesn't help. But what has helped me recently is understanding that the shaming isn't my fault. My body is as it is. Maybe remembering this kind of thing can help you, too. Because shaming comes from lack of empathy, and outright intentional disrespect and ignorance. And it should not be up to you to please others' ego-based expectations, no matter what they say. 🤗 As for me, I have to work harder than others to get my weight down. No, it isn't fair, and therefore neither is the shaming from people who are ignorant and have zero clue what it is like having to be in my position. They also have zero desire to learn empathy. But that's on them. It is not my responsibility to make them learn, especially if they don't want to. As the old saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink." Listen to your body, and what it needs for nutrients, and how you feel when you do eat, or don't eat, certain types of food, or how your soul feels when you do different types of exercise. I am bored out of my ever-lovin' gourd with a treadmill or elliptical. But I adore just doing the basic punch and kick movement mixtures I learned from being in Tae Kwon Do. Martial arts feeds my soul as well as my body -- I stg it's a past life thing. 😅😅😁😁 My point is, focus on what **you** love to do, the foods that make **you** feel amazing, body mind and soul. I wish you the best life journey. 🙏🙏🤗🤗
I"m sorry you're going through that. Please keep connecting with accounts and people and anything that helps improve your body positivity. The challenge is real! I believe in you :-)
You always have to like yourself to be able to start changing. Sounds a little weird, but how much time you spend on doing something you don't like? If you think you suck, it's harder to improve yourself.
@@rebel4466 The ironic thing is, when you do start to like yourself and you change your body, drop the weight (no matter how slowly it takes), the ones who were ragging on you to do just this start whining that you're maybe leaving them in the dust, possibly making them look bad -- because they aren't making any changes at all. Hmm, funny how that works, huh? 😜
@@a.katherinesuetterlin3028Indeed. I weigh myself regularly, because I tend to be to light. For me it's easy. I just have to take some moments to eat something extra, eventough I don't feel like it. People who tend to be overweight on the other hand, have to be careful all day. I don't envy you.
It really warms my heart to hear that you had such good experience with Germany. It might not all be good in our country but I am really happy to hear about those positive aspects of your life here! I hope you feel welcomed and at home :)
I love the way she says I’m a good cook now. She was so excited. That’s wonderful. I’m glad her life improved. I’m sure it was a terrifying experience. She’s very brave. Embodiment of, if you don’t try, you’ll never know. Good for her
The think I love about UA-cam is that we can hear the lived experience of people all around the world. You are amazing. It’s fun to learn about your life that started in one part of the world and continues in another. Thanks for being open and authentic.
If anyone ever sold me on living in Germany YOU JUST DID IT! Wow. I want each thing you said! Freedom from superficial things and behaving in ways that feed insecurities is a WIN! I'm so happy that you took the giant leap to move to a very different part of the world. The Universe rewarded you and I'm so glad for you! Love to the mystery man you love and who loves you!
@@hazar2354 you poor soul…we have so many hobbies, we have clubs, sport clubs and Associations for almost anything! Get up from behind your screen and join real life, and you‘ll stop being lonely
I moved to France 13 years ago and lived there for 8 years. The first thing I learnt was to saying No , be firm and not have any guilt about it. Coming from a women's's pleasing culture myself this new found freedom was outstanding!
something i’ve noticed is people say “oh asian cultures are just radically honest, they think you’re ugly they’ll let you know. if you’re fat or even chubby they’ll remind you because they care. it’s not rude, and they’re not being mean it’s their culture.” but a lot of people from those cultures speak out about how much the comments ARE hurtful, and the constant roasting as a “love language” slowly grinds them down over time, and it affects how they view themselves and others. i’m not saying the west is perfect, we have our own versions of making people insecure (often we’re more passive aggressive and make snide layered comments so it’s harder to call them out on it bc they have a get out clause) but it’s just interesting to note how much people defend it as harmless, and that people on the receiving end don’t care. when to me, that’s impossible bc human beings are the same the globe over, if you get told you’re fat and ugly enough times, u start to believe it.
Seriously- I get it. being able to say “no” without backlash is a BIG DEAL when you’re Asian. Even in the Philippines, all my authority figures treat saying “no” or requesting boundaries as a slap to the face. *Especially* my parents. You have no idea the number of times I was called a terrible person just for saying “no.” I’ve heard stuff like “you’re so ungrateful” or “we didn’t raise you to be so selfish.” And I’m sure other Asians have been through the same experience. For a continent with cultures that prioritize intelligence and independence at a young age, we sure do love insisting on being submissive. Like we NEED to be obedient, subservient or practice filial piety to this extreme (especially).
That's terrible, not from Vietnam nor do I have Vietnamese family but my family still did the same thing and it took a long time for me to have boundaries and enforce them.
This is very similar too for us in Latin America. I grew up thinking I was very selfish until, well into my 20s and in another country, I realised I just was good at saying no when needed.
The problem is a lot of Westerners also have this trope that Asians, especially Asian girls & women are meek & submissive & don't have hard boundaries. It's a huge problem in relationships & male dominated environments like some academia fields
I'm so proud to see your journey. I remember stumbling upon your reels in the pandemic and they have been such a joy. It's almost as if I've seen a baby grow 😢❤
I love this!!! As someone who lived in the Netherlands, I can say a similar experience of appearance not defining me as a woman and saying "no" is not offensive. Plus, a lot of respect as a woman, you are treated more equally here. I"m happy to hear you've had these particular positive experiences :-)
Netherland is more tolerant and free than Germany. Even in companies I was told the hierarchies are not so strict and it is not so sexistic. Some years ago, living at the border if Hollande I thought about working there.
For some reason I've never really thought about Germany as a place I would want to live but geeeez after this video I think I need to book the flight!!😅😁
I couldn't agree more, moved to Australia a couple of months ago and these are my exact sentiments. I love these shorts thank you for making us smile ❤🎉
I wish we could all experience those kinds of changes in our home countries as well as abroad. You seem quite satisfied with the direction of your life. That is a real blessing.
I'll expect Germany and France have a similar mentality, so definitely people still judge you about how you look, but they won't say it out loud. But we have way less pressure on how we look than asian countries
@@janineg.5688yeah and those close to you will still say stuff to your face. I was born and raised in Germany and I was judged and belittled for my body all my life. It's why I rarely come back to visit now that I live abroad.
Ahhh… I love and can relate to this. I moved from Thailand to the US many years ago and became a good cook for the same reason and setting boundaries is such an eye opening process for me too.
You'll probably never know, but i've been struggling so much with how to put weight on top of my vegetables when i make lacto fermentations in jars, and the way you do it just solved all that for me. Thank you so much lol
People don’t really talk about stuff like this. Moving far away has its disadvantages but also it’s benefits. Like these that Uyen oh so perfectly described.
No matter the origin country and destination country, going abroad really opens your eyes about what is normal, good/bad, right/wrong. You're never the same again compared to people who don't go through this experience. Kind of lonely in a way but also completely worth it...
For real. I grew up with narcissistic relatives, including my biological father. While he wasn't as bad as some narcs are, I still had to learn that it was okay to set boundaries...and as I fought back and stood up to my father more and more, the more pissed off he actually got, not realizing at the time what he was. The arguments were hella draining. 😖 Then I met my bff, Heidi, who clued me in further and gave me the biggest wake-up call ever -- one I really needed. I absolutely flipping adore that sister-in-Spirit of mine. So now, to see Uyen grow into the true self she's clearly meant to have, and to hear all you guys' similar stories of figuring out the self-sovereignty thing, it warms my heart big time. Love to all of you! 🙏🤗🤗🤗
I'm excited to travel the world someday! These pieces of wisdom that help us grow is so cool to see! I'm really looking forward to not just hearing and learning about different cultures places and languages, but to go and experience them firsthand!
Idk why this gets me but I do relate to everything you said! I recently also moved to Sweden and it completely shifted me into becoming a different person who knows how to set boundaries and invest more in self love! It wasn’t that easy becoming this far so I’m proud of the changes and proud of every person who’s also in the same journey 🤍🤍
@@athanasiat6755 honestly, that's what sounds lovely 🤩 there is so much drama in the USA now. I hope things get better but I don't really expect them to.
@@AR_ATHbro, Islam was not even part of the discussion until you brought it up. OP just said she felt attracted by how little drama there is in Germany as opposed to the US. So WHERE did your brain make the turn and landed on islamic countries? Cant she just appreciate the good qualities of a country that is not the States without having it ruined by some patriotic bs? The States are great, no doubt, but they are not the only country in the world, there are others yknow
Setting boundaries is important. I'm so glad you're doing that now! ❤ I'm also Asian but grew up in Canada, so saying "No" is quite normal for me. And my husband is also German! 😁
Its liberating not to live in a society where you are not defined by your looks dress etc..You can be your authentic self and the growth and effort you put in grows your true self worth and esteem and is not conditional and superficial. For me this was also very relatable. I liked all the points.
I love your channel. Thank you for sharing and for pointing out crucial cultural values and differences. And you do so with sensitivity. I love how you share your growth. I love that you point out this special corner of the universe, where there’s cultural values that inevitably impact women - for women in the Asian community. By seeing the difference seen btw aspects of Western and Asian culture. You point out what many Asian women might face in their own cultures- the expectation to always be a people pleaser, the hesitation to express boundaries, and the true pressure to comply bc of cultural norms and expectations. I hope that your video reaches those Asian women, so that they can see that other cultural values exist. As an American woman of Asian descent, I especially appreciate your videos and the positivity and awareness that they bring. And the gentleness and sensitivity that you do it. Wishing you the best.
Simular vibes when moving from England to New Zealand. Most (not all people but a significant %) of my UK social experiences, even with family, there is always behind the back chat and people rarely tell you what they think or feel but expect you to mind read and understand what they want. Each person and family has different expectations and values some small examples being: its either rude to wear shoes inside or rude to take them off. The problem is often people wont tell you, they assume everyone else does the same as them. Then there's things like telling people about disability accomodations or just allergies and intolerances is considered rude and 'making a fuss' they wont say anything to your face but the second you move away people are saying horrible things like "it's all for attention." Plus its considered really bad if you have a disability and people look at you with pity or disgust. There's an expectation that you will never talk about emotional or deep things. Expressing any emotion even excitement is considered extreme. You are expected to comply and say yes to nearly anything you might be asked to do, even if it massively inconveniences you or puts you out financially. Oh my financial things? Never, ever speak of it. Its very rude if you're rich because its considered showing off and never do it if you're poor because it's depressing. People and their homes should always look their best or like they're about to have company. They bad mouth you to everyone else. While this is not the behaviour of every British person and likely a lower-middle class specific perspective the times are changing I've noticed younger people tend to set boundaries and be a bit more open, this kind of behaviour is common enough that most people acknowledge it but do t want to rock the boat. Vs. New Zealand: chill, a lot more common and acceptable to talk about emotions (though i could be biased here as i am queer and we tend to be a lot more open to discussion about tough topics), but its also ok to set boundaries and not have discossions you're uncomfortable with. It's ok to say you cant afford something. Women aren't expected to wear make up unless in a front facing job like a receptionist but not if theyre a waitress (kinda like if you have a lower paying job people respect you may not be able to afford things). If something's broken its not odd if a woman fixes it. Much less talking behind people's backs, if something is annoying or upsetting you its ok (in most situations) to carefully and politely tell the person vs in the uk say nothing and get quietly angrier and resentful. Nz is more laid back. Its also more communal, if someone is experiencing something awful people will check on them and for a long period of time, theres also less pressure to "get over it" kiwis will encourage you to learn to live alongside the pain and learn how to navigate it whereas the Brits teach you to bury it and never talk of it again.
I suspect this is the same everywhere for anyone that migrates. If you fit in well, if the social norms match you well, you are not moving. And when you move, family and the neighbourhood you grew up in will no longer dictate who you associate with, you get to find a whole new group of friends that you have not (yet) grown apart from. Or things go bad, and you move back, like I did.
As an American who has never left the country this is exactly how I imagine British people lol. Like Asian people with their strong sense of social wealth hierarchy but with more western ideals of independence. Looking upon the disabled with pity and disgust is a normal response in every community ❤❤❤
@@sweatergod5386 apologies for the long comment but actually my comment does not represent the suggestion that most cultures look down on disability. In fact back in the day only a couple of hundred years ago, disability was a lot more accepted in the UK. There are many cultures where disability doesn't other you to the rest of the population.
Upon my word you really have a downer on Britain,perhaps it's your attitude people react to not the other way around,I came to England 60 years ago to get out of a communist state(Poland) as a 10 year old I learned English very quickly and wanted to fit in,apart from my name people can't tell in not English,England has been a good country to live in,I've met good and bad people just like anywhere else,life is what you make it you take the good and ignore the bad above all I've been thankfully for being able to live in democracy and freedom,people in Poland have also changed they are more open and less judgemental,travel really does open your mind and and makes for better understanding of all human beings!
Dear@@ninazacharia3003 , Your comment really upset me but I’ve had some time to think about it and bear with me, as I do hope you read all of this. I realise yes I probably did go in too hard on my fellow Brits, unfortunately this is a consequence of my lived experiences. Minding my own business walking down the street or riding the bus is not an “attitude” and for you to assume that my experiencing having homophobic slurs yelled at me, nasty looks when I use a cane or people loudly saying something disgusting about my disability is my fault is not ok. You’re not exactly helping the case for “not all British people are like that” when you blame me for other people’s unwarranted abuse when I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I am happy for you that you don’t experience these negative events but that doesn’t undo the fact that these things happen to other people. On reflection I do see I was far too hasty to claim that most British people are like that but I still stand by my view that a significant portion of British people are. Like I said, multiple times in my original comment, I know that this behaviour is not the behaviour of all British people but this is what I have experienced. “You take the good and ignore the bad” is very easy for you to say if you don’t experience frequent abuse and negative treatment. If we bury our heads in the sand and pretend people are only ever kind, if we refuse to push back against or even acknowledge harmful behaviour then we become part of the problems in the world. That’s why you left Poland, to escape, it wasn’t safe but now as you say, Poland has changed. The reason why is because people stood up for themselves and others. It’s funny you bring up being Polish because I am too :) your story is very similar to my grandfather’s story, he was a refugee during WWII, he was thrown out of his home by Soviet soldiers and fled for his life at just 9 years old, his father did not make it, he died fighting with the Polish resistance. His story inspires me as I grew up being taught that things won't change for the better for people who are treated poorly if we don’t stand up to bullies and abusers. We don’t need to travel or spend money on big things to have a bit more empathy and compassion. I know that by reading your comment and re-reading my own comment and reflecting on it has definitely made me have a good long think about the way I talk in comment sections, as I am a lot more compassionate and give people the benefit of the doubt more so in person, than online and that is something I want to match online going forward. I shared my experience in the original comment in the positive hope that people reading will think about their own behaviour if they do those kinds of things. I do now think my original comment was not helpful.
![ОРБАН приехал к ПУТИНУ и "отчитался" о поездке в Киев 😁 [Пародия]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_0ukDovOWq8/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm glad to see that moving abroad, as much as it makes you miss home more, also has its benefits, even though we don't talk about them often.
Yes .. that's right.. and we should..
We r being ungrateful in this matter
@@deveshkumar4223 It's not ungratefulness, it's forgetfulness. Remaining worries make you forget about past worries and the little positive things, even when they had a big impact!
@@deveshkumar4223Yeah, i watch a few Channel who Show the difference in countrys. I'm Always surprised how good we have it in Germany. It's not perfect and some stuff really has to Change, but it could Always be worse.
IMO, living abroad is pushing us from our comfort zone that we find ourselves that we don't realize before.
For me it really has benefits. I really learned to set my boundaries.
Actually, some of those are why I love Germany. They respect others as it is.
Unless you’re muslim hejabi woman then it would be a horrific experience. I had a transit flight there once with my mother and I’ll never forget that trauma
unless youre white and other western european
@@arwarumI'm sorry
Jameso4053, it's been a long time since I lived in Germany, and Germany has changed in some remarkable ways, too!
@@arwarum I live in east Germany, Here are a lot of muslim's. Women who wear hijabs. I Work with two and they never Had any Problems. Not more than everyone Else. Here you rather get called Bad names when you are overweight or Look as If you didn't shower much. But not as people of different color or Religions.
I'm sorry that you Had a Bad experience, and Hope you are okay.
Learning how to say "no" is a vital skill. I unfortunately only learned after coming out of an abusive relationship. Whether it's culture or a bad partner, saying no is human right and you should never be shamed for it.
I agree and also no explanation is required for a no. A no respectfully offered should be accepted.
I am very sorry you have been abused. Did you do therapy afterwards and sued your partner? Because both can help gain confidence and strength back. All the best to you.
I believe many women world-wide are conditioned this way from a very young age, go along to get along. I too am emerging out of the other end of it. Live and peace to you.
@@straightflush6095sueing your ex partner such an American thing,many women just want to get away and forget the bad time,not bring it back in a courtroom where his lawyer would put you down and degrade you even more to make you look like it's all your fault!
@@ninazacharia3003 ?? What has that to do with america? I'm german and I think it is important to sue your ex partner if he abused you because he needs to be punished for the things he did and he needs to be stopped, so that he cannot abuse other women too! If he get sentenced, this will have a very negative impact on his life and maybe he will regret his actions and change his behaviour. Of course its hard to go through this process, I get your point. But it is important to stop people like that and the only way to do that is via justice
Yes I feel the stopped worrying about my appearance/outfit thing. My European friends once sat me down, gave a ted talk and almost made me recite this : wear what I want and feel comfortable with/in, and go out with confidence. If others have a problem, that’s on them.
It might sound ridiculous but the burden of worrying about what others think of your look and clothing is tooo real🥺
Well, it's not the whole of Europe. I'm from Europe as well, but in my country, you definitely get judged for your appearance, clothes etc. Makes you real self-conscious.
It’s not about whether or not others judge you - some people will always need a reason to look down on others, because they are deeply insecure themselves - it’s about whether or not you let other people decide what you wear, how you look and how you feel and think about it. It’s about making these decisions yourself and growing up to an adult. As long as other people’s opinions are more important in your life than your own, you still a child and follow orders.
@@ichraumauf5532 Almost like people want to have friends and fit in and feel accepted.
Oh the horror. How dare they care if others like them or not, everyone should just be alone 😂
"My appearance doesn't define me anymore."
Indeed. I experienced this HUGE change as well. Back in the Philippines, I went through it so much- THAT appearance is an utmost MUST. However, here in Sweden, I can be free without being judged on what I wear or how I look like. Nor be bullied by my own family for being too skinny or when I gain a a kilo or two. 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
As a Swede I am very happy hear that. I hope you feel welcome here 😊
a fellow filipino 🥲❤️ growing up it didn’t matter what I did with my appearance because I would get a mean comment no matter what, too skinny, too fat, showing too much skin, dressed like a boy etc 🙄 someone always had something to say!
@@yoongibean A sad reality. I was bullied a lot too. Even my own family members would call me names when I gain weight or whenever I am too skinny. And back in high school, never did I enjoyed it because of the bullies. ☹️
@@Elix90 Tack så jättemycket. Jag trivs Sverige. Jag är tacksam för att jag bor här nu. ♥️
Tbh Sweden is such an awesome country.
As someone who lived my whole life in an Asian country but studied abroad in the west for 6 months, those months were liberating, self-esteem boosting, and made me value myself as an individual beyond social norms ✨
❤
Living abroad is a good experience. Even though sometimes people hate it, it still is good to see that life can be different
Plz explain cooking ...am too learning cooking
@@jeshurunkaturi5348 Start simple (simple pasta) expand from there.
@@jeshurunkaturi5348tasty + tasty = extra tasty
"Not that authentic" is the nicest way possible to say that 😂
All of these are so relatable as a Korean woman who moved to the UK
I'm so glad to hear you've experienced so many positives regarding boundaries and self-worth. Boundaries are very healthy and it's very difficult to accept, especially when you're a woman and/or your culture tends to ignore their value. Congratulations (:
Yes!!! Agree with every word of your comment
nice profile picture
This is huge.
It applies to men, too.
So glad the changes are such positive ones! I’m glad that you are growing as a person in such positive ways. ❤❤❤
Yeah :)
❤
That's good that you've learned to set boundaries. You have the right to say NO. And alot of people don't know that NO is a complete sentence. You don't have to explain why you said no to anyone. ❤
Keep shining!
You are changing the world, my darling.
I don’t think you quite understand the massive impact you are having upon people’s from all over the globe.
What a blessing you are.
❤
I'm german. And in kindergarten they thaught us that you can say no. No matter in what situation you are, you are allowed to say ''NO!'' out loud when you want to. Also they thaught us not to drink alcohol when we get older. I still follow these 2 things.
I was in kindergarden in 1975. They told me that if i want to archive something in my life, i will have to learn and to work, and that both can be a real pleasure if you are the one to choose. we shall try everything and then do what fits us best. and we did.
we had a good teacher who often told us "probier es aus!" (just try it).
nobody taught us officialy about alcohol, or smoking, in my entire life.
I never smoked but one cigarette, it did not taste good, it was awkward. yuck.
We drank a lot (no internet yet, you had to drink the local girls pretty 😂), and I am glad I did, no FOMO left over here. I have fond memories of being pretty hammered and singing country roads and sweet home alabama by the camp fire. no spotify back then either 😊
I never did other stuff, and stopped drinking just like that at the age of 34. it was no fun any more, so why keep doing it?
I guess is was a much different time back then.
(writing this while literally drinking my evening cup of nettle infusion😂)
@@peter2327 I was around 2011 in kindergarden
@ecandymiau8885 46 years...
I'm glad to hear that I wasn't the only one to party at uni. HistoryBA1980. I thought uni was a 4-year visit to heaven.@@peter2327
No!
The being taught to always say yes is so relatable. My mom always taught me “you never say no”, which is the worst thing to teach a child from a young age. 💖
Wow . Yeah, really not thought through. I guess bc when learning to say yes is passed down so is “not thinking things through” 😕💛
@@alexguerra1668 You said it perfectly. My mom really taught me to put myself on the back burner and become everyone’s personal slave, and my feelings aren’t valid. I just turned 30 and now on my own after getting out of another abusive relationship, and I’m trying to switch my thinking and start caring about myself and finally saying no. Which it’s crazy how hard it is to say no and how guilty you feel doing it, as if you don’t deserve to say no. I guess that’s what comes with having toxic, abusive, alcoholic parents and a mom that says “you never say no” even if your drowning.
This is exactly what my parents did to me. I am from Poland and my parents taught me that there is no such answer as no, it was not allowed. They have no idea how much this has scarred me. Not only has it caused me to get hurt and be in dangerous situations but also caused emotional damage. I am also 50 years old and still suffering.
@@Miss.831i relate to this.
@@SoundOfOceanBlue 🥺🫶🏻 I’m so sorry. I completely understand how much damage it does and how it affects you. It might sound weird to people who haven’t been through that and was taught you never say no. To some it seems so “easy” like just say no. But it really isn’t that simple when it’s been pounded into you. I hope that things are getting better for you because you deserve to say no and you deserve to be put first and not feel guilty for doing so. I know it’s easier said then done, but we should 100% be able to say no and not have repercussions for it or ultimatums and made to feel like we are piece of sh*ts. I’m sending you lots of love. 💖
Du bist auch so sympathisch
Willkommen in Deutschland, bleib so wie du bist ❤
I can say I feel exactly the same about all points mentioned. Even though my experience was moving from Romania ( Europe) to Netherlands ( Europe). It's very sad what are the expectations for women in Eastern Europe. They are toxic af and you realise this only when you move to a normal country.
My German grandmother never spoke about appearance - she wanted to know how well I could debate, study other languages and what my plans are for education. She had deep conversations with me and I loved talking to her.
Great channel. ❤
My german grandma was the same ❤
Yes it's nice to not judge someone by their appearence but germans dress like shit haha
I Love to hear this ❣️🤗👏 THANK YOU both ! 🥰👍
Where are you from?
@@EasyNaturalLivingwhere are you from?
“My body doesn’t define me anymore” physically took the breath out of my body. I can’t imagine that kind of freedom.
Well you could try, step by step
I thought she said "defy me" 😂
I live in a Muslim country and I started wearing Hijab at 18(only showing my hands and face). I stopped caring about my appearance then and started focusing on my studies and work. I'm not saying you should be a hijabi to achieve that but the concept still remains. people can't judge what they can't see. You are in control remember that. you don't owe anyone.
All you have to do is adopt a more "pat" look. This lady really has that androgynous look down solid.
This was a brain-F for me. All us "Western Women" see that as the patriarchy winning but srsly..it's the most badass shit ever. no one gets to look at you. you OWN THE RIGHT TO THAT. I LOVE THIS. THANK YOU. @@fictionaddiction4706
Sehr froh das du dich hier wohlfühlst :)
I am glad to see you cooking bottle gourd/ दुधी भोपळा/ Lauki. Had never seen anyone outside of the Indian subcontinent cooking it. 😊
We have it in Hawaii at the farmers markets and I know it's used in the Philippines as well. 😊
I was scouring the comments for someone saying what it was it looked like luffa to me. I'm growing luffa and bottle gourds for the first time this year!
@@alorastewart7091 Hope you get a good harvest. 🙂
It’s sold at my local Indian grocery in NM, as well as bitter melon. I can also find winter melon. The only thing I can’t ever find is real natto (Jaoanese condiment) and I’d really like to see what it’s like, it’s so healthy.
@@MarySanchez-qk3hp NM stands for?
8 yrs in Netherlands, I am still a people pleaser. It is really great that you were able to overcome that.
Being assertive in the Netherlands feels harder because they just waltz sight over you with how straightforward and blunt they often are.
Some people dont overcome their people pleasing behaviour, some people are just born with it, though they can learn on how to minimize it
Edit: before you mfs get mad at me let me tell you that humans are different and different humans are bornt with different purpose, different purpose means different personality, preferences and wants. Humans are social animal and live in groups so different people gotta exists, some are leaders, some are followers, givers and recievers and many different things.
But nurture also contributes to this, lool at Uyen, shes a reciever type of person taught to be a giver, but she quickly grew out of the giver mentality once shes gets in the reciever position, by nature she is a reciever but by nurture she is a giver.
I know it doesnt suit your believes and it scares the dumb out of you diversity exists, but please try to look from different perspective before you comment anything mean.
@marlyd That depends a lot on where you are in the Netherlands. In the West the people are more blunt, in the South they are more gentle
@@SaoirseVisceral"just born with it"? People really need to stop pulling this explanation out of their backside 🙄
@@penyarol83 Nature v. nurture has been an ongoing debate, and scientists are part of the discussion. For that reason, I'm not prepared to dismiss it.
I adore Uyen! Grown, and learned so much, all while keeping us very entertained!
“My appearance doesn’t define *me* anymore“ -so many of us needed to hear that! Thank you!!❤
Why tf am i crying?😢❤
No, in Germany it is status that defines you, especially titles and degrees
@@kimicappiello5480 ❤️❤️❤️
@@terrapax8554, In the states it's money and education.
As a German woman in her thirties I have to say that I feel very much defined by my body. I'm not overweight but not skinny either and when I was a teenager it was drilled into me by society and my surroundings that one has to be skinny or toned to be beautiful.
I feel you... I moved to Germany and initially it was refreshing that e.g. I wasn't expected to wear high heels everywhere. But after I gained 5 kg due to hormonal issues my husband left me for a very slim and petite coworker...
I think it's a global issue, but I think I understand why she feels it's easier for her in a western country. I don't know but I suspect in vietnam it's less taboo for strangers to make comments about looks whereas in the west our family might take it upon themselves to remind you of it(and she is also living away from family...)
In den 2000ern aufzuwachsen war in diesem Aspekt einfach scheiße. Ich glaube, die heutigen Erwachsenen trauen sich nicht mehr die Körper von Teenagern zu kommentieren.
I love your accent! It's very calming
As a German it is nice to see your perspective, it's a great reminder to be thankful of our society. We have outliers, of course, but overall people are very much taught to focus on their own lifes before judging others. At least out loud. For every person that may say mean, superficial things there will be ten that tell them to shut up and mind their own business.
I'm very happy to hear that you are having a good time here, thank you for sharing your experience!
I am still resentful of the German people for all the suffering they caused the world. I guess as I grow older time will heal
Do you think this is a post-holocaust change in German society? I know you’re probably not old enough to say but I wonder.
@@annabanana123451 wha-what? post holocaust,
like nobody really talks about it anymore here or even really things about it, and no its has always been like that where more focused on other things than rating someone else life sure you would sometime hear a bit of mockery but thadts about it really lol
@@weowweoew It might have been a societal shift after the atrocities committed and allowed by Germans that they realized they don’t have the right to criticize others. I don’t know. In the circles I’m in in the US we don’t really talk about appearances or education. Here, higher institutional education isn’t accessible to everyone because it’s incredibly expensive so it’s pretty elitist to talk about it. Disappointed to hear Germans aren’t talking about the holocaust daily. Your country hasn’t nearly made reparations and it should be affecting you daily.
@@annabanana123451i was wondering the same thing
Very true. I’m half Vietnamese so I know from experience that Vietnamese people are brutal with their criticisms, especially when it comes to appearances.😢 I’m so glad you don’t have to deal with that anymore. You’re so lovely - inside and out!! 💖
I am surprised at Vietnamese criticism culture. I don't know why I'm surprised. I thought they were better than us. Uyen I like your hair style, it suits your face. I lived in Hawaii and most Asian American people there still have that cultural thing about skin color, eye shape, height, etc.
I guess most Asians are .. am from the Philippines and that’s what i observed most .. 😔
@@virginiaoflaherty2983its like that in most developing countries.... people are also more extroverted in those countries
Growing up in Germany, I am surprised that Uyen pointed that out as I myself experienced it a lot when I was younger. I guess, it depends on where you live and the social environment you happen to have.
It definitely is very common in Asian countries. Some even "secretly" took pictures to laugh at it.
This is so heartwarming. Thank you for sharing! I definitely relate to the learning how to set boundaries thing. I relate to the others too but the boundary thing really stuck out.
Don't ever let anyone define you.
You cannot please everyone, therefore trying you will disappoint everyone.
Seek only to be found pleasing to your creator and yourself, then the ones you love (with boundaries)and no one else.
Everyone do this and find your true self ❤
I love you lady and your channel and supportive spouse.
You are wonderful, have a great personality and your videos make a lot of people smile ❤🎉
This is so true. I'm a Vietnamese and I was always insecure about my looks. Until I moved to America, people don't care about how others look. In fact, I'm considered as beautiful which no one ever told me in my entire life. Eventually, I get more confident, I start makeup and wear dresses and all. It feels great to love yourself no matter what
It’s funny how that works, isn’t it? As soon as you develop confidence in yourself, you want to dress up for yourself. :) I hope you continue to love yourself.
And learning to cook.
I dated a Vietnamese lady once here in the US. The women are so beautiful and the food is amazing! Love your culture!
All Asian people are beautiful to Americans ❤❤❤
You don't NEED makeup to look beautiful. You are already beautiful.
I am Brazilian and I can relate to all that (although I don't live in Germany, I have lived in Ireland and I live now in California). I went back to Brazil for 2 years and people didn't like when I set boundaries and they had to learn that I would dress the way I would like to and not necessarily in a socially accepted way.
I am also brazilian and I live in Germany! I can totally relate to almost everything what she said, especially the one about her appearance. I just can’t relate to the last one 😂 I don’t understand how Germany can be so wealthy and so bureaucratic at the same time. It drives me crazy 😂😅
I’m Caribbean. I just moved back home and people don’t understand my boundaries.
I miss that freedom I had when living in Europe.
A cultura de agradar os outros é muito forte no Brasil. Isso é muito ruim pq as pessoas acabam se tornando presas fáceis para diversos tipos de abuso e com baixa autoestima.
Deine Videos werden besser und besser! Das freut mich sehr! Großen Respekt und viel Glück für deine Zukunft
Very insightful. I love your funny and serious videos too❤
We need more recipe videos!! You’re such a good cook!!
Yeah you can tell that by how she cuts the monster zucchini she is the best chief in the world!
@@vomm*chef
@@vommI think that's a bottle gourd. 😀
@@Anoosuya_321yeah that's definition bottle gourd ( my brain recognises things it doent like😅)
@@thisismetrying17 Hahaha! 😄 But I can't ever stop craving lauki koftas! 😁😜🧡 Have to find reasons to forgive the bottle gourd. 🙈😄
I'm French, I've been living in Germany for 12 years now and I relate to what you said about appearance. Here nobody gives a crap about how you're dressed (except if it's not weather-appropriate 😅) and it's so nice.
Unless you dress nicely and look after your appearance. Then people stare at you like you’re an alien. It’s just the other way around here.
When i walk barefoot in germany, old women look angry at me, and young ones look away.
When i walk nicely dressed in winter, women smile at me.
depends. wearing sweat pants outside when not doing sports is still not considered good
@@MrTohawkWeil du dann die Kontrolle über dein Leben verloren hast 😉
@@MrTohawkOr PJs.
"... you can't rush it so you have to slow down." I really needed that.
Picked this veggie labeled as “Chinese squash” and knew how to cook it thanks to your shorts about it 😂😂 thanks!!
I love your body positivity. Body shaming is really tearing me down.
I understand about the body shaming. 🤗🤗
My path to feeling good in my physical body has not been easy. But I am heavier than is healthy for my height, and I can feel it. Much of it is due to stress and emotional trauma. I already struggle with hypothyroidism, so the stress doesn't help. But what has helped me recently is understanding that the shaming isn't my fault. My body is as it is. Maybe remembering this kind of thing can help you, too. Because shaming comes from lack of empathy, and outright intentional disrespect and ignorance. And it should not be up to you to please others' ego-based expectations, no matter what they say. 🤗
As for me, I have to work harder than others to get my weight down. No, it isn't fair, and therefore neither is the shaming from people who are ignorant and have zero clue what it is like having to be in my position. They also have zero desire to learn empathy. But that's on them. It is not my responsibility to make them learn, especially if they don't want to. As the old saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink."
Listen to your body, and what it needs for nutrients, and how you feel when you do eat, or don't eat, certain types of food, or how your soul feels when you do different types of exercise. I am bored out of my ever-lovin' gourd with a treadmill or elliptical. But I adore just doing the basic punch and kick movement mixtures I learned from being in Tae Kwon Do. Martial arts feeds my soul as well as my body -- I stg it's a past life thing. 😅😅😁😁
My point is, focus on what **you** love to do, the foods that make **you** feel amazing, body mind and soul. I wish you the best life journey. 🙏🙏🤗🤗
I"m sorry you're going through that. Please keep connecting with accounts and people and anything that helps improve your body positivity. The challenge is real! I believe in you :-)
You always have to like yourself to be able to start changing. Sounds a little weird, but how much time you spend on doing something you don't like?
If you think you suck, it's harder to improve yourself.
@@rebel4466 The ironic thing is, when you do start to like yourself and you change your body, drop the weight (no matter how slowly it takes), the ones who were ragging on you to do just this start whining that you're maybe leaving them in the dust, possibly making them look bad -- because they aren't making any changes at all. Hmm, funny how that works, huh? 😜
@@a.katherinesuetterlin3028Indeed. I weigh myself regularly, because I tend to be to light. For me it's easy. I just have to take some moments to eat something extra, eventough I don't feel like it. People who tend to be overweight on the other hand, have to be careful all day. I don't envy you.
It really warms my heart to hear that you had such good experience with Germany. It might not all be good in our country but I am really happy to hear about those positive aspects of your life here! I hope you feel welcomed and at home :)
Same! I love that she brought up important stuff like the appearance or that you can say no for once. It's great tbh
This is so lovely! I'm glad you have had these positive changes in your life ☺️
I truly admire the way you processed the changes. I’m not sure I could have reacted to them as a positive when I was your age. Very well done!
I love the way she says I’m a good cook now. She was so excited. That’s wonderful. I’m glad her life improved. I’m sure it was a terrifying experience. She’s very brave. Embodiment of, if you don’t try, you’ll never know. Good for her
The think I love about UA-cam is that we can hear the lived experience of people all around the world. You are amazing. It’s fun to learn about your life that started in one part of the world and continues in another. Thanks for being open and authentic.
You are so awesome!!! I really look up to you
Du bist einmalig! Unique.
If anyone ever sold me on living in Germany YOU JUST DID IT! Wow. I want each thing you said! Freedom from superficial things and behaving in ways that feed insecurities is a WIN! I'm so happy that you took the giant leap to move to a very different part of the world. The Universe rewarded you and I'm so glad for you! Love to the mystery man you love and who loves you!
She forget to mention that in germany there is close to zero social life. A lot of lonely people.
@@hazar2354speak for yourself? Why would Germans have no social life?
@@hazar2354You mean YOU have no social life
@@hazar2354 you poor soul…we have so many hobbies, we have clubs, sport clubs and Associations for almost anything!
Get up from behind your screen and join real life, and you‘ll stop being lonely
Well there's a difference. In Germany there's less social life out on the streets and meeting people can be harder.
I moved to France 13 years ago and lived there for 8 years. The first thing I learnt was to saying No , be firm and not have any guilt about it. Coming from a women's's pleasing culture myself this new found freedom was outstanding!
You are amazing ❤ I really enjoy watching your videos
I resonate so much with this. Thank you for sharing ❤
Es freut mich dass es dir gut in Deutschland geht 😊🇩🇪
something i’ve noticed is people say “oh asian cultures are just radically honest, they think you’re ugly they’ll let you know. if you’re fat or even chubby they’ll remind you because they care. it’s not rude, and they’re not being mean it’s their culture.”
but a lot of people from those cultures speak out about how much the comments ARE hurtful, and the constant roasting as a “love language” slowly grinds them down over time, and it affects how they view themselves and others. i’m not saying the west is perfect, we have our own versions of making people insecure (often we’re more passive aggressive and make snide layered comments so it’s harder to call them out on it bc they have a get out clause) but it’s just interesting to note how much people defend it as harmless, and that people on the receiving end don’t care. when to me, that’s impossible bc human beings are the same the globe over, if you get told you’re fat and ugly enough times, u start to believe it.
I enjoy all your videos, like, 10/10.
This one?
My favourite yet.
You’re the best.
YES!! I learned all this through a similar experience too. Thanks for sharing
“You can’t rush it so you have to slow down” true everywhere but the check out line. Then you better move as fast as you possibly can.
Seriously- I get it. being able to say “no” without backlash is a BIG DEAL when you’re Asian. Even in the Philippines, all my authority figures treat saying “no” or requesting boundaries as a slap to the face. *Especially* my parents.
You have no idea the number of times I was called a terrible person just for saying “no.” I’ve heard stuff like “you’re so ungrateful” or “we didn’t raise you to be so selfish.” And I’m sure other Asians have been through the same experience.
For a continent with cultures that prioritize intelligence and independence at a young age, we sure do love insisting on being submissive. Like we NEED to be obedient, subservient or practice filial piety to this extreme (especially).
That's terrible, not from Vietnam nor do I have Vietnamese family but my family still did the same thing and it took a long time for me to have boundaries and enforce them.
This is very similar too for us in Latin America. I grew up thinking I was very selfish until, well into my 20s and in another country, I realised I just was good at saying no when needed.
The problem is a lot of Westerners also have this trope that Asians, especially Asian girls & women are meek & submissive & don't have hard boundaries.
It's a huge problem in relationships & male dominated environments like some academia fields
I'm so proud to see your journey. I remember stumbling upon your reels in the pandemic and they have been such a joy. It's almost as if I've seen a baby grow 😢❤
That is awesome 🥰 I'm so happy for you since these all seem like very positive changes!!
I love this!!! As someone who lived in the Netherlands, I can say a similar experience of appearance not defining me as a woman and saying "no" is not offensive. Plus, a lot of respect as a woman, you are treated more equally here. I"m happy to hear you've had these particular positive experiences :-)
Netherland is more tolerant and free than Germany. Even in companies I was told the hierarchies are not so strict and it is not so sexistic.
Some years ago, living at the border if Hollande I thought about working there.
This is SO POSITIVE; what a great promotion for Germany 😆💕
Hi! Cooking videos are cool! Especially authentic food, I’m following for future recipes!
For some reason I've never really thought about Germany as a place I would want to live but geeeez after this video I think I need to book the flight!!😅😁
I couldn't agree more, moved to Australia a couple of months ago and these are my exact sentiments. I love these shorts thank you for making us smile ❤🎉
Aw that’s great! Welcome to Australia!
(Even tho you have already been here for a few months)
Thank you 😂🎉
I wish we could all experience those kinds of changes in our home countries as well as abroad. You seem quite satisfied with the direction of your life. That is a real blessing.
Moral of the story: “ Never take your Asian Lady to Germany.”
@@mmaguy huh? I don't get it...
Congratulations! Setting boundaries and being kind to yourself beautiful.❤
I think we all need an environment like germany, where our appearance don't define us.😊
Well...some people still judge, they just don't say it to ones face.
I'll expect Germany and France have a similar mentality, so definitely people still judge you about how you look, but they won't say it out loud. But we have way less pressure on how we look than asian countries
@@janineg.5688yeah and those close to you will still say stuff to your face. I was born and raised in Germany and I was judged and belittled for my body all my life. It's why I rarely come back to visit now that I live abroad.
USA people are nice anyway
@@kafei-cremeThey talk behind your back but won’t ever say that to your face. It’s not perfect but kinda nicer than to hear it?
Ahhh… I love and can relate to this. I moved from Thailand to the US many years ago and became a good cook for the same reason and setting boundaries is such an eye opening process for me too.
Thank you for sharing You are helping others❤❤❤❤😊
I loved hearing about these positive changes!! ❤😊❤
Germany is very lucky to have you, Uyen 🎉❤
Glad you found a home where you feel comfortable within yourself!
That's amazing!
Also, you should post some of your favorite recipes!
That boundary thing though, mad props, that is terrifying to do
Brilliant idea with that water bag! I'm so dumb iv struggled with weighing stuff down for ages, finding the right shape weight to go in the jar.
You'll probably never know, but i've been struggling so much with how to put weight on top of my vegetables when i make lacto fermentations in jars, and the way you do it just solved all that for me. Thank you so much lol
Just thought I was the only one with an eye opening experience because of this
Learned that one from Alton Brown
there are special glassdics for that
@@mariah.2024or instead of buying yet another item, a plastic bag with water will do 😅
@@FrancisR420 who is that?
so happy for you
Ok, I can't reconcile the wholesome message with the double entendre still.
People don’t really talk about stuff like this. Moving far away has its disadvantages but also it’s benefits. Like these that Uyen oh so perfectly described.
No matter the origin country and destination country, going abroad really opens your eyes about what is normal, good/bad, right/wrong. You're never the same again compared to people who don't go through this experience. Kind of lonely in a way but also completely worth it...
learning how to say no is such a powerful thing! also, learning that no is a complete sentence.
For real. I grew up with narcissistic relatives, including my biological father. While he wasn't as bad as some narcs are, I still had to learn that it was okay to set boundaries...and as I fought back and stood up to my father more and more, the more pissed off he actually got, not realizing at the time what he was. The arguments were hella draining. 😖
Then I met my bff, Heidi, who clued me in further and gave me the biggest wake-up call ever -- one I really needed. I absolutely flipping adore that sister-in-Spirit of mine.
So now, to see Uyen grow into the true self she's clearly meant to have, and to hear all you guys' similar stories of figuring out the self-sovereignty thing, it warms my heart big time. Love to all of you! 🙏🤗🤗🤗
That's so sweet. So happy for your body positivity
I wish I could have that here in the US
You are beautiful!!! Don’t let others define you!
These are all positive traits! 😍 I am so happy for you!
Out of everything you acquired in Germany setting boundaries is the most important one I've heard so far
I'm excited to travel the world someday! These pieces of wisdom that help us grow is so cool to see!
I'm really looking forward to not just hearing and learning about different cultures places and languages, but to go and experience them firsthand!
Your spirit and simplicity give me chilll.... I feel much more confident watching your videos...
Idk why this gets me but I do relate to everything you said! I recently also moved to Sweden and it completely shifted me into becoming a different person who knows how to set boundaries and invest more in self love!
It wasn’t that easy becoming this far so I’m proud of the changes and proud of every person who’s also in the same journey 🤍🤍
Germany sounds like a lovely place
It's a boring place trust me ...
@@athanasiat6755 honestly, that's what sounds lovely 🤩 there is so much drama in the USA now. I hope things get better but I don't really expect them to.
Try to live a month in an Islamic country. I am sure that as soon as you return to America, you will lie on the ground and kiss it and cry.
It is most of the time
@@AR_ATHbro, Islam was not even part of the discussion until you brought it up. OP just said she felt attracted by how little drama there is in Germany as opposed to the US. So WHERE did your brain make the turn and landed on islamic countries? Cant she just appreciate the good qualities of a country that is not the States without having it ruined by some patriotic bs? The States are great, no doubt, but they are not the only country in the world, there are others yknow
I’d love to learn authentic recipes from you
Germany really seems to fit you, I'm happy for you!
Setting boundaries is important. I'm so glad you're doing that now! ❤ I'm also Asian but grew up in Canada, so saying "No" is quite normal for me. And my husband is also German! 😁
I love your videos ❤
Those are great things you’ve learned. 🖤
Happy for you!…way to go👍🏼
I love this for you. I am learning these things as an American woman in America. Keep it up, soul sister!
“Taught to always say yes to please people.”
She just like me fr fr
Growing up in Germany, I experienced that kind of upbringing, too. So apart from cultural aspects, it really depends on the family you were born into.
Every day I learn a little more about your life and I feel so at easy with you as we were really good friends 💗.
Its liberating not to live in a society where you are not defined by your looks dress etc..You can be your authentic self and the growth and effort you put in grows your true self worth and esteem and is not conditional and superficial. For me this was also very relatable. I liked all the points.
I find you to be such a lovely person and your content always brightens my day.
Your eyes look happy inside. This brings a smile to my face.
I love your channel. Thank you for sharing and for pointing out crucial cultural values and differences. And you do so with sensitivity. I love how you share your growth.
I love that you point out this special corner of the universe, where there’s cultural values that inevitably impact women - for women in the Asian community. By seeing the difference seen btw aspects of Western and Asian culture.
You point out what many Asian women might face in their own cultures- the expectation to always be a people pleaser, the hesitation to express boundaries, and the true pressure to comply bc of cultural norms and expectations. I hope that your video reaches those Asian women, so that they can see that other cultural values exist.
As an American woman of Asian descent, I especially appreciate your videos and the positivity and awareness that they bring. And the gentleness and sensitivity that you do it. Wishing you the best.
thank you for this, I love the honesty and life lessons. ❤
Simular vibes when moving from England to New Zealand.
Most (not all people but a significant %) of my UK social experiences, even with family, there is always behind the back chat and people rarely tell you what they think or feel but expect you to mind read and understand what they want. Each person and family has different expectations and values some small examples being: its either rude to wear shoes inside or rude to take them off.
The problem is often people wont tell you, they assume everyone else does the same as them.
Then there's things like telling people about disability accomodations or just allergies and intolerances is considered rude and 'making a fuss' they wont say anything to your face but the second you move away people are saying horrible things like "it's all for attention." Plus its considered really bad if you have a disability and people look at you with pity or disgust.
There's an expectation that you will never talk about emotional or deep things. Expressing any emotion even excitement is considered extreme.
You are expected to comply and say yes to nearly anything you might be asked to do, even if it massively inconveniences you or puts you out financially. Oh my financial things? Never, ever speak of it. Its very rude if you're rich because its considered showing off and never do it if you're poor because it's depressing.
People and their homes should always look their best or like they're about to have company.
They bad mouth you to everyone else.
While this is not the behaviour of every British person and likely a lower-middle class specific perspective the times are changing I've noticed younger people tend to set boundaries and be a bit more open, this kind of behaviour is common enough that most people acknowledge it but do t want to rock the boat.
Vs. New Zealand: chill, a lot more common and acceptable to talk about emotions (though i could be biased here as i am queer and we tend to be a lot more open to discussion about tough topics), but its also ok to set boundaries and not have discossions you're uncomfortable with.
It's ok to say you cant afford something. Women aren't expected to wear make up unless in a front facing job like a receptionist but not if theyre a waitress (kinda like if you have a lower paying job people respect you may not be able to afford things).
If something's broken its not odd if a woman fixes it.
Much less talking behind people's backs, if something is annoying or upsetting you its ok (in most situations) to carefully and politely tell the person vs in the uk say nothing and get quietly angrier and resentful.
Nz is more laid back. Its also more communal, if someone is experiencing something awful people will check on them and for a long period of time, theres also less pressure to "get over it" kiwis will encourage you to learn to live alongside the pain and learn how to navigate it whereas the Brits teach you to bury it and never talk of it again.
I suspect this is the same everywhere for anyone that migrates.
If you fit in well, if the social norms match you well, you are not moving.
And when you move, family and the neighbourhood you grew up in will no longer dictate who you associate with, you get to find a whole new group of friends that you have not (yet) grown apart from.
Or things go bad, and you move back, like I did.
As an American who has never left the country this is exactly how I imagine British people lol. Like Asian people with their strong sense of social wealth hierarchy but with more western ideals of independence. Looking upon the disabled with pity and disgust is a normal response in every community ❤❤❤
@@sweatergod5386 apologies for the long comment but actually my comment does not represent the suggestion that most cultures look down on disability. In fact back in the day only a couple of hundred years ago, disability was a lot more accepted in the UK. There are many cultures where disability doesn't other you to the rest of the population.
Upon my word you really have a downer on Britain,perhaps it's your attitude people react to not the other way around,I came to England 60 years ago to get out of a communist state(Poland) as a 10 year old I learned English very quickly and wanted to fit in,apart from my name people can't tell in not English,England has been a good country to live in,I've met good and bad people just like anywhere else,life is what you make it you take the good and ignore the bad above all I've been thankfully for being able to live in democracy and freedom,people in Poland have also changed they are more open and less judgemental,travel really does open your mind and and makes for better understanding of all human beings!
Dear@@ninazacharia3003 ,
Your comment really upset me but I’ve had some time to think about it and bear with me, as I do hope you read all of this.
I realise yes I probably did go in too hard on my fellow Brits, unfortunately this is a consequence of my lived experiences. Minding my own business walking down the street or riding the bus is not an “attitude” and for you to assume that my experiencing having homophobic slurs yelled at me, nasty looks when I use a cane or people loudly saying something disgusting about my disability is my fault is not ok. You’re not exactly helping the case for “not all British people are like that” when you blame me for other people’s unwarranted abuse when I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I am happy for you that you don’t experience these negative events but that doesn’t undo the fact that these things happen to other people.
On reflection I do see I was far too hasty to claim that most British people are like that but I still stand by my view that a significant portion of British people are. Like I said, multiple times in my original comment, I know that this behaviour is not the behaviour of all British people but this is what I have experienced. “You take the good and ignore the bad” is very easy for you to say if you don’t experience frequent abuse and negative treatment.
If we bury our heads in the sand and pretend people are only ever kind, if we refuse to push back against or even acknowledge harmful behaviour then we become part of the problems in the world. That’s why you left Poland, to escape, it wasn’t safe but now as you say, Poland has changed. The reason why is because people stood up for themselves and others. It’s funny you bring up being Polish because I am too :) your story is very similar to my grandfather’s story, he was a refugee during WWII, he was thrown out of his home by Soviet soldiers and fled for his life at just 9 years old, his father did not make it, he died fighting with the Polish resistance. His story inspires me as I grew up being taught that things won't change for the better for people who are treated poorly if we don’t stand up to bullies and abusers.
We don’t need to travel or spend money on big things to have a bit more empathy and compassion. I know that by reading your comment and re-reading my own comment and reflecting on it has definitely made me have a good long think about the way I talk in comment sections, as I am a lot more compassionate and give people the benefit of the doubt more so in person, than online and that is something I want to match online going forward. I shared my experience in the original comment in the positive hope that people reading will think about their own behaviour if they do those kinds of things. I do now think my original comment was not helpful.