ME TOO RACHEL, IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR SOMEONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. I compulsively pick at my face, I don't usually go a day without trying to "correct" some sort of imperfection.
It's so nice to hear that I'm not alone, I started doing it about a year ago and I've been so ashamed of the scars it leaves. It's so comforting to know that there are people who understand what it is like
@@lindsayn2116 I have been doing it for 5 years, I given up on stopping, I only do a little bit each day, but you still have hope to stop, my face is completely ruined by scars, enlarged pores
“Why don’t you just stop” / “why don’t you just pick a less harmful compulsion” is the most annoying shit to get told especially when the other person is reacting with what feels like theatric disgust. Like yeah, this is what I want. This self correcting body correcting panic response where I have to try to claw the wrongness out of my hell skin is totally what I want to be doing with my time bro.
I haven’t gotten to a razor blade but I’ve gotten to tweezers, needles, thumbtacks. I have to keep my nails cut short but also get worried that not being able to get gunk out with my nails will make me agitate the wounds bc I’ll just like. Keep trying.
You don’t realize how bad it is, and moreso it’s like, you feel like you’re fixing something to the extent that in the moment it seems good you’re doing it that much. It’s very weird
A coping mechanism I use is putting gold gelly roll ink over closed scabs and dark spots. They look like little constellations and despite the whole thing I really want my skin to feel pretty.
I do impulsively pick my skin and I didn’t even know this is a disorder. I just thought I can’t control myself well enough and was so disappointed or angry with myself every time…
I’m only five minutes in but I had no clue this was a disorder, I just thought it was something I did alone. If I get a bite on my legs or a cut or a scratch or anything like that I’ll scratch at it till it bleeds and when it scabs I’ll peel or pick the scab off. This stops it from healing and sometimes these cuts last months. I’ll keep picking the scabs off until the cut gets smaller and I can’t pick it off anymore. This is something I’ve been doing since early childhood (I’m 16 currently). I have 30 + visible scars on my legs from doing this to myself. I’m so embarrassed of my scars that I haven’t worn shorts or a skirt since I was 12. I’ve never done it on my face. I personally don’t consider it self harm because my mindset when I scab pick and my mindset when I used to cut are completely different although I understand why many do consider it self harm. This being said, when I was 13/14 and did cut myself I picked the scabs off of those too. I’m going to show my mother this video. Thank you Rachel for making this because I genuinely thought it was something only I had to struggle with.
same!! my legs are a biggg place i like to pick at. i do my face sometimes too, but ive been really trying not to touch my face lately. i have like 50+ scars all over my back and legs and everything. you're not alone. i also havent worn shorts or a skirt in years. i dont think I'll ever be able to go swimming again because of how much I've made myself hate my body
I'm self-conscious about my legs for different reason but no one ever looks at your legs like you do. And scars on your legs can be explained as being clumsy
me too, i always pick my face leaving scars and bruises all around when i finished. I would cover it and shrug it off. I have struggled with depression since i was around 12, and i hate myself. Maybe that is why i do it? idk. I also scratch my arms until they started bleeding
Dude I’m 18 and I have had the exact same experience, like almost down to the letter I have so many open wounds on my legs rn because of my constant clawing
I'm not an emotional person but I teared up watching this. I've never EVER seen anyone else admit to doing this on a large platform, let alone be so compassionate and thoughtful about it... Skin picking has been such an extreme source of shame for me since I was a preteen and at 22 I still struggle with it every day.
As someone who has trichotillomania, is almost a relief seeing someone talking about a similar disorder. So I'd just like to thank u Rachel for this video !! I really appreciate how honest and real your videos are! ❤❤❤
I have trich too. ❤ I wear a meditation ring (also called spinner rings) from Etsy on my thumb and try to remember to fidget instead of pulling. It helps a little and it's cute. These are such odd disorders. I don't have anyone in real life that gets it so videos and comments like this are extra comforting.
@@bridget663 Thank u so much for the comment!! I just bought a couple of stim toys to try out and see if any of them would help, I'll definitely check this meditation ring out!
I'm a mental health therapist myself and I still struggle so much with this disorder. Thank you for dedicating a video to this, for being so open, and for normalizing this disorder to the general public. You're awesome :)
Omg "when being reprimanded by authority figures" it gets so much worse! My parents have used me as a therapist for years and I associate this with being reprimanded, so I'm just constantly picking as a way to get through it whenever I'm in a situation like that with them. It's TMI but it feels so cathartic to say in this safe environment! Thank you so much for bringing attention to something that's obviously so widespread but never talked about 💕
I understand. My father was bad to us and I used trich to soothe myself, to calm, me time.... I would go into a trance and feel safe.... Its scary.... I do it still when stressed and I know the abuse triggered this. I'm embarrassed and I shouldn't be as we should all be able to talk openly xx
This video actually made me cry, I’ve never met anyone else who has talked about this and I shared my story on your post the other day and sat reading what everyone else had written, you are so brave sharing your pictures and making things better for other people who feel alone with mental health problems and make it feel okay to be who we each are as individuals. Your honesty and compassion for others is so needed in the world right now 💗, it really did touch my heart this evening. I’ve so many new things to try now starting with the nails, Im planning little Halloweeny ghost nails as I type this 😊 xx thanks for being you.
I didn't read the full comment section so I'm going to go back and read through it bc I could use some serious help. My fingers/toes and nails are atrocious. I have picked my pinkie toenail all the way off a bunch of times.
Today I learned that my lifelong compulsive skin picking is actually a disorder. When I was little, I used to sit in the bathroom for hours peeling the skin off the pads of my feet, sometimes using the pointy end of a floss stick to get under the skin to pull it up. Then, around age 10, I started getting acne, so that became my prime target. I picked at my skin mercilessly for years, all over my body, no pimple left untouched and no scab left intact. For years I would climb up on my bathroom counter and just go to town. I have gotten much better over the last couple years, with my acne finally healing and my skin clearing. My scars are healing, though sometimes I still relapse. A couple nights ago, for the first time in like 10 years, I had a callus on my heel and I gave into my instincts to pull it off. That lead to me sitting there for over an hour pulling the skin away until it hurt. For the past couple days I have struggled to walk on my heel, and to be totally honest, I feel very much ashamed. AND that shame I've been feeling caused me to do it again last night because it just sends you into this weird trance, nothing else is happening other than what you are doing to yourself in that very moment, you are in complete control. This is something that needs to be talked about more often, so we can know when to seek help. I see old pictures of myself from high school and I just think... I walked around with raw spots, scabs and scars all over my face like that thinking I looked totally normal??? Picking was a nearly nightly occurrence for me back then, and it's so noticeable, but I didn't even think twice about it.
Wait this is an actual thing? I’ve done this for years! Whenever I get spots or acne and picked them until the point where I have scars. I thought I was just weird but this is really eye opening. I’ve got scars on my chest from this and I’m really self conscious about it, thank you for making this video Rachel! 🙏
This problem really does link to mental health a lot and I think it’s a symptom of it. Stress is a really big factor that I’ve found, like for example I remember I had one of my worst moments when I was in 6th form in 2019. I remember my mates seeing me and asking “wtf happened to your face?” As well, when you’re struggling mentally and then you damage your appearance, it makes you feel even worse. Then you don’t leave the house and just do nothing, and then because you’re doing nothing you feel even worse. It’s sadly leads to a really hard state to get out of, and even when you are getting better, you still have the marks which makes you feel self conscious.
I think it's definitely a spectrum- I not only pick at any spots I have, but I will often make spot and pick where there are non, to the point where my entire leg/arm/face/whatever I'm attacking during that spell is just covered in cuts and scabs. I think It's normal for most people to pick it there spots when they're stressed but this tends to go quite a bit beyond that 😔
@@whims6278 it’s the same for me, I often do it when I’m stressed or even bored. I’ll find spots where there are none. I’ll just be lying in bed at night specifically searching for them and just make a mess of myself 😩
@@Ruby_Mullz when I found this I was like holy crap I had no idea this many people struggle with this. Makes me feel so much less alone and guilty about it.
I’ve never clicked so fast. I must’ve missed the community post but I can say now that I’ve been dealing with severe dermatillomania for over half of my life. Im 22 and i remember doing this at 10-11 yrs old. Tried CBT and other forms of therapy but just like you, it’s a response to anxiety/stress. I definitely think now that this BFRB is a direct consequence of other various mental health issues that I’ve had to manage with medications for years. For me, my back, and shoulders have the most scarring and visible pigmentation from ripping off scabs that eventually left craters in my skin. Like Rachael said no spot in my body is off limits. I’ve never worn a bathing suit to the beach, I don’t wear anything sleeveless, I love dresses but feel like I can’t wear the styles I want to because of my skin. The worst part is the guilt and shame that comes up when I’m meeting someone new and while I crave intimacy, I feel disgusting and like it will make the person run away. It brings tears to my eyes to this day. At my worst I would have to throw out shirts constantly because they were saturated with blood spots. Sharing for anyone who’s been struggling with this - we are more than our skin, you’re not ruined, I’m with you.
oh my god i relate to the guilt and shame with meeting someone new and not wearing sleeveless things 💔 i’ve always been so grateful for my friends and family who have seen me and my picking scars and not even noticed! though i’m always scared of someday a partner asking about that one crater scar on my boob haha 😅
I'm scarred over my entire body now....except for below my knees and down. I've been accused of being a methamphetamine addict many times even by nurses and doctors. It's so hard to live with....thanks for sharing your comment here. I'm sorry you suffer. I've found that there are gorgeous feminine long-sleeved shirts out there and super sheer ones for the summertime....clothes that help me feel like a beautiful woman again. I'm at the point that I have tried body makeup and it's actually really successful. Love, Michelle. Oh! Ps....I wear board shirts (super, super cure ones now) and a bikini top with a Lacy or sheer bathing suit cover-up....I feel just as beautiful.
@@beth4107 so well put! to be fair I’ve never had someone mention it in the moment, and for that I’m so grateful because it allows for the moment to feel normal in a way 😅
@@michellelovell7569 Michelle, thank you for sharing these tips, I’m going to look for these tops 🥺 it’s hard to feel stylish but this is truly helpful. Your kind words mean everything, and I am so glad that you shared a part of your story as well 🤍 . I can relate to you on that people are quick to make assumptions. The scarring down my shoulders is so bad that people have come up to me to ask why I have tract marks, straight up. I grew up having terrible anxiety and I’d often end up in the ER. The nurses and dr’s would treat me as if I was there to get a high out of it. It’s truly debilitating to be looked down upon when you need help the most.
I have a family member who struggles with this, because of Autism. They have struggled with it their whole life and I never knew what to call it, or if it even had a name. I was recently educated about this, and I am so thankful for you sharing your story. I will be looking into the picking stone for this person.
Fun fact about me: as an eight -ish year old, I kept picking this spot on my scalp. In class. I think I was stressed. I would scratch and scrape and get blood under my fingernails. It was pretty nasty. At some point, I got a fungal infection. When I was at the doctor's, they put a scalpel or something to the area to get some skin for testing. The scratching feeling was oddly amazing. I almost tried to touch the blade, but nurses of course stopped me. I still pick at myself. And now, I try to pluck hairs from my legs. I like the hairs that just slide out of the skin without resistance. I also like the thicker hairs, the ones like cords sticking out from a sea of skin. Also, I like going at my pores. The idea that I can get the dead skin and whatnot out, leaving some empty pore, an empty hole..it excites me a little.
I've had this for as long as I can remember, and combined with chronic acne since I was a teen has made my skin my biggest insecurity and affected my mental health and self esteem significantly. Makes me feel less alone to see so many people talking about it ❤️
Oh my god it feels so good to hear Rachel talk about this because I always felt like a freak for having this. It's gotten better but I still sometimes have episodes and then end up feeling disgusting
I didn’t even realize this was a disorder, I just thought it was something I just sort of did. Especially the biting of the nails and the skin around the nails. Also the picking of scabs.
Like Rachel said, many many people pick at their skin or tug on their hair, but it becomes a problem when it affects your functioning! Not to mention, the compulsion part is a big big aspect of it as Trich and Skin-picking disorder are related to OCD. Similar to the distinction between regular stress and anxiety disorders. I didn't think I had a problem until it hurt to walk because my feet were torn up and my hair was thinning noticeably to other people 😅 So if your biting/picking is affecting your functioning or causing a lot of stress if you can't stop, I recommend seeing a mental health professional! Therapy helped me try to come up with alternative actions and reframe my picking and pulling (obviously I still struggle but am healthier a bit!).
I realized that my comment on your post was the first time I’d ever talked about my experience. Thank you so much for providing a safe and supportive place to discuss it, this was really eye opening
I'm struggling with this condition for over 20 years- ironic since I'm a esthetician and should know better. But it's almost like my profession made me even more aware of every little imperfection on my skin. I could sit and pick for hours at the skin on my face...it's definitly a stress release thing for me. I also used to chew and pick the skin on my fingers until they started bleeding when I was stressed without realizing it. Acrylic Nails helped to disrupt the compulsion unfortunately I still do it on my face. It's so frustrating.
I have severe agoraphobia and haven’t left the house more than 10 times in the last 5 years.only have for dr appointments. I’ve only see 2 people and 1 of them knows about it. I hate that they don’t want to listen to me when they see it and only say “you need to stop that” & “why are you doing that” “you’re gonna end up with an infection” etc. It just makes me feel ashamed and mad at myself. Thanks for making this video Rachel.
Ahhhhh so this is what I’m going through at the moment! I don’t leave the house, but when I don’t and I know I need to get groceries, i get anxious, pick and then don’t want to leave the house even more cause my Face is a mess and the cycle continues. I’m so sorry you struggle with that!!! But man it’s vicious enough as it is - don’t need other people chiming in 😂
Yes, I have this. My whole back and shoulders have sores and my fingers look like those of a zombie. I have to say that the elation and positive rush you get when you pull off dead skin or pick on spots is so great, it is hard to describe and hard to let go when you are worrying. I can't give this up unless I had something equally elating and comforting to replace it, but there just isn't. Thanks for sharing this.
thank you so much for talking about this Rachel 😭 I've struggled with Dermatillomania and Trichotillomania since I was around 11. it means so much to me to see others talking about this more.
Rachel, I am a millennial who's had atrocious anxiety & stress all the way back to toddler age, I started exhibiting stress response symptoms about age 4. My mother is literally the female version of Trump, and since I was the first born in my family in my generation, and was disabled so much by age 16 that I was helpless to escape this toxic environment, watching all my siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles all move far away from her, leaving me as the bait, the scapegoat... I started peeling the dead skin off my heels by age 10, and would peel as much off as I could whenever it started cracking. I also have always had probs with cutting & other self harm (including using safety pins to puncture) around ages 14-18... When I was 27, the same year I had my first massive stress heart failure, my teeth started splitting apart & crumbling, not from poor hygiene (I had zero cavities before 23) but because I'd been clenching & grinding my teeth for 30yrs. By age 30, I was missing 3 teeth & was forced to go to a free clinic where they pulled ALL my teeth, which, with all the complications, took about 18 months. After 8 failed open back surgeries, all with complications, and 2 massive heart failures, losing all my teeth & ending up with no jawline, too horrified to smile or open my mouth in public (thanks to Corona for the mask mandates!) was by far the worst I went thru. Starting about 3yrs ago, the insane stress, anxiety & depression caused me to start a major OCD habit of plucking, complete with tweezers & a little 5x mirror, I stand in the bathroom for up to 1.5hrs, every few days, plucking every single eyelash & eyebrow hair possible. The eyelashes are particularly satisfying, better than picking, IMO. It's caused by having to fight tooth & nail, not just to medicate my dozen debilitating symptoms enough to stay out of the hospital, with nightly myoclonic seizures, nausea making me want to d!e 24/7, and the only thing I have to get my 3-4hrs a day of sleep in is a half-broken old Goodwill recliner, but also having to work my butt off & sell anything I can, just to try & cover my insane $400-450/month meds costs! It's really telling about America, that terminally ill patients have to be even more miserable, fighting to add enough to our pitifully small monthly income ($750 for a single girl who never had a chance at a job before I was disabled) so that we don't d!e even faster from POVERTY than from all these illnesses...
Wow, that sounds like a //lot//, and I am so sorry for your hardships. My heart goes out to you. The world can be so cruel, and America has SO much work to do....
This is absolutely horrific. This is exactly one of the reasons why I support something such as anti-natalism. Someone told me recently that not all people who suffer think they shouldn't have existed because of it, but what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think you should have ever existed? If you think you should have, why? I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive, I'm really not trying to be. Stuff like this just pisses me off and I don't think reproduction should be done and I really don't care if it is a thing that everything else in nature does. Just because there may be a thing that everything else in nature does, it does not necessarily follow that it is good. Even what is considered to be natural or of an order or cycle needs to be questioned. People need to be careful about their appeal to nature because nature can and will inevitably bite you in the ass. Anyways. I don't really know what to say about all that you've gone through besides what I've already said. However, I'm surprised you're still here. I'm sorry you ever had to go through any of this. It could have all been avoided had life never evolved in the first place. Perhaps that sounds a bit extreme, but I'm not sure many people would be arguing with me about that while they are actively going through some ineffable event in their lives or through something chronic.
@@waterzero5461 Actually, I have wished quite frequently that my mom had gotten an abortion, she quite clearly shouldn't have been allowed to have kids! The abuse she used as 'godly punishment' back in the 80s & early 90s not only would get her arrested now, but are a direct cause of a few of my worse symptoms. I also can say that I am jealous of anyone who is allowed to die quickly & painlessly, often wish very much that I had a 🔫 & bullet, or wish that someone would break in & put a double tap on my head, just to be sure. I've been brought back against my clearly & adamantly expressed wishes & signed DNR forms TWICE now, after enduring the same slow, agonizing death that inmates executed by botched lethal injection did, just to be treated even more sh!t & told by the family that still acknowledges I exist to just F-off & d!e... Needless to say, my family's religious obsession & complete lack of even an iota of empathy, are why I am still suffering more & more every month, and why they think my lack of transportation is because I "don't pray enough" & that if I can't afford to live, it's just because I'm deciding to prioritize my meds that are keeping me from dying in the ICU the same way I already did twice! They think I need to just NOT take the meds keeping me alive, while they spend $100s on diabetes meds, have amenities they never use, multiple vehicles sitting unused, and even donate thousands to charity & church every month while ignoring that I am literally slowly losing my grip on reality & spend every day wishing I were de@d, because of POVERTY!! Yes, I think having kids should be the MOST REGULATED practice! Yes, I wish I hadn't been born, and the very very little positive experience I had, now over 20 years ago, does NOT make even a month of this perpetual he11 worth it! Thanks for your reply, it's nice to not be called a liar & troll for once... ✌🤓
My goodness... all kids deserve to have good parents, but not all parents deserve to have kids. I also wish we could live in a world where those with medical issues aren't forced to struggle MORE than they already have to because they have to pay for healthcare. I have multiple mental issues I personally want to see a doctor for, but can't because it costs money. Really wish there weren't people who just have to deal with suffering their entire life because they just got... unlucky with their genes or parents or socioeconomic status or all of the above. I truly wish the best for you and that somehow, someway your situation can get at least a bit better.
I have been struggling with trichotillomania since I was eight years old and I want to thank you for your honesty! Being honest and vulnerable is what makes human interaction worthwhile to me.
I want to say thank you one more time, Rachel, because I've been trying to work up the courage to tell my new psychiatrist about my picking and the myriad of related self destructive behaviors I have oscillated between throughout my entire life, and this is really making me feel braver. I so admire you for putting this out there... it's a scary thing to do, and I cant imagine being so public when I even lie and avoid the subject around my closest friends. Logically I understand how common and not-a-big-deal this is, but its wonderful to be able to truly see that here.
I used to use a dental pick to poke into my pores before squeezing them. I did this as a kid and young teenager and had no idea it was disordered behavior. Thanks for being so open about this, Rachel! I relate so much.
@@shania9528 I don't mean that this one thing is itself a disorder, just that the behavior is disordered ie dysfunctional, and especially symptomatic when combined with other items. I could list every single skin picking issue I've faced (and the "physical and mental distress") but I chose to cite this one because it was an obsession for me as a kid. I never thought it could be part of a larger issue until I was an adult, which is why I so appreciate hearing about other experiences. :)
I actually have trichotillomania which is different but similar in some ways and I'm super glad someone like you is talking about these types of disorders because until recently I suffered alone without knowing so many other people have had similar experiences to me. Finding other people has really helped me get a boost in my personal recovery and realize i can truly recover 💗
Oh wow, I've struggled with this for years and never knew what it was called because I was always way too embarrassed to seek out information. I just felt a lot of shame around it. I tried coping by buying nicer clothes to cover the areas of my skin I was destroying. A lot of why I think I was doing it for a long time was because I've honestly really hated myself and my body for most of my life, and I wasn't caring for myself at all. I thought by buying nicer clothing, I could take a little pride in myself as well as be more mindful of the areas of my body because I didn't want to bloody new clothes. The way I experience this problem is definitely anxiety and depression related. It gets absolutely out of hand when I'm not mentally well. The clothing thing helped a bit, but it didn't eradicate the problem. Also, I remember doing the mirror poking and prodding you describe as young as 13. As a teen, I'd do it all the time. Trance-like state in front of the mirror for indeterminate amounts of time. I'd pick at my face, shoulders, back, thighs, and chest. I was also self harming with scissors and razors all through my teen years, so the two came up simultaneously. I was able to break free from the more overt self harm by the time I was about 19 or 20, but the skin damage behaviors are persistent. To this day, I still do it. I did it today, in fact, when I first woke up, before I was fully awake. I honestly hate it, and it gives me way more body inaecurity than I already have. X.x
I'm not even halfway through but seeing this video is such a relief. Don't get me wrong, it's terrible that you're going through this but it's also good to see that I'm not alone with this. I've suffered with an ED for almost 10 years, which led to self-harm and among other things, my self-harm manifested in picking my skin, biting my lips and also tearing off little pieces of skin on my finger tips. I was always so ashamed of my "bad skin" and always blamed it on acne/genetics/hormones/whatever, because I thought that what I was doing was somehow strange and weird and some people might even be disgusted by it. I'm just starting to learn that for me, this is also a way of self-harm and a symptom of my struggles with my body and self-image. Thank you for being so open about this topic! You're definitely making me feel seen and understood! ❤️
I love the fall because I can cover my arms. They are scarred and scabbed from years of doing this to myself as well. Lots and lots of dots. Lots and lots of years of not being happy with myself. I would literally sit and pick at it anywhere, at home, at the bus stop, at a friend's house, in my car after parking. And in the summer you can see it all because its so hot and my arms are exposed and I notice people looking sometimes. It stings a little bit but I no longer give too much weight to the thoughts or opinions of others. So thank you Rachel for your honest words. I'm a long time follower and I'm proud to see how far you've come!
I used to pick at my skin a lot while doing my skincare routine because the bathroom light shows all my spots and imperfections but I've found that if I just don't turn on the light I rarely pick. So that's something I can recommend to ppl who pick while washing their face.
ill try that for sure. everytime i look into a mirror i have the urge to look sooo close to see every lil spot and then...well....trying to "erase" it.
Watching this in tears the entire time. Empathy and collective strength is exactly what I needed today, and this struggle is all too relevant for me. Thank you for making me feel less 'broken', especially the part about going to the transfixed state
Really appreciate your bravery and candor! As a long-time sufferer from the cousin compulsive disorder trichotillomania, it's enlightening to hear just how many people are so similarly anxious and picky. My leverage over the disorder is to reflexively jump to conscientious mode and think about how I'll look if I pick and how I'll look if I don't, thereby reinforcing the better behavior. Of course if the fidget need is even greater than the vanity need, I just find other items to fidget with until the need's passed.
Thank you! your skin looks so great in your videos i never would have guessed! I suffer from diagnosed Trichotillomania and Dermatillomania. Ive destroyed my skin and balded half my head in under a week. the Dermatillomania has always been a thing. My hubs gets mad at my because i am always picking at my face or legs with tweezers. Its a mixture of everything but my autism is apparently the root of it all. It's nice to see someone like you (so relatable), talking and educating on this. Defiently helps me not feel so alone and may help people try and find why they may be doing it. Cant get better in any sense until your willing to accept whats happening and its hard to do that without knowledge and understanding yourself.
Thank you for sharing this, Rachel. I have trichotillomania. I started messing with my hair and scratching my scalp when I was around 12 years old, and that evolved into picking any hair on my scalp, face, or eyebrows, that felt “out of place” (in ways that are hard to describe. It couldn’t be just ‘any’ hair). I honestly thought it was just a weird thing I did until a friend of mine sent me a link to an article about trichotillomania. I didn’t realize he, or anyone, noticed. I, like you, would bring tools into the situation: tweezers, razors (to dig into parts of my scalp that became swollen from pulling) and various other things. When I am able to recognize and stop a “session”, I’ll use isopropyl alcohol to sanitize the areas, and because it felt good. Even though it’s ultimately destructive, for me it feels like a self-soothing behavior I do while I’m idle and kind of in a fog. Since being medicated for other things (panic disorder/bipolar disorder), my episodes are shorter and farther apart.
I saw the thumbnail and immediately clicked. Been dealing with it since I was a kid and not many ppl talk about it. Thank you so much for being so public with this Rachel!
As someone who has struggled with this for as long as i can remember, i really appreciate you sharing your story. it made me feel a lot less alone and i think i even learned some thing about myself watching this video. thank you.
i have this compulsion as well, my doctor has said it's an OCD tendency. i tend to pick when i am especially anxious or stressed. if i cannot pick or i am stopped (it is for my own good) i feel upset. when i pick, i keep telling myself "just one more". thank you for bringing light to this rachel. nobody thinks that there are underlying issues with things like these, that it can just be stopped.
not even 30 seconds in but thank you for making this video, I constantly compulsively pick at my lips which destroys them, and as a kid me and my brother would compulsively pick at our hands and feet. there was a time in high school when I had stopped but it couldn't have been for more than 6 months, as a 21 year old im really glad to know this is a real thing not just me. its always been an anxiety thing (not related to my body dysmorphia) and sometimes if I try and stop my hand will shake. its just been a totally subconscious thing for a while now, you hand just does it. I can stop if I have something better to do but five minutes later there's that hand on my mouth again.
aaaaa so glad to see someone speaking on detmatilomania/excoriation disorder! i’ve been struggling with it, dermaphagia (skin biting), onychophagia (compulsive nail biting), and other body focused repetitive behaviours for about eight or nine years now (nail biting for double that). my bfrbs flare up in response to my body dysmorphia and generalized anxiety, and even though i’ve been in therapy for _everything_ for over a year now, it still takes up so much of my life. that wrongness always feels so all consuming, but the consequences (and scarring) lasts and creates this continuous cycle. there’s so much shame and stigma surrounding it, so it’s lovely to see more people being so open about their experiences with it too
I will be open about my situation as well, i love that you shared this with us, because i struggle with this too. There have been days where it hurts to walk and hold a pen, I completely understand what you are going through, thank you for sharing this with all of us!
I was literally picking at my skin and hair and biting my nails as I started this. It’s so nice to see this talked about in a non-clinical way, like from someone who has experienced it themselves. I personally don’t do it for self harm, but it’s kind of a compulsive thing to the point if I don’t take a shower every day I’m ripping up my skin like crazy.
Thank you for talking about this. I’ve been struggling with this for years and it means a lot to see so many people sharing this experience. I really want to quit, thank you for sharing these strategies I’ll be trying them out and I really hope this time I’ll finally be able to get over it. I just hate having so many scabs and swollen spots all over my face, shoulders, chest and arms. I want to be able to go out with off-the-shoulder clothing and without makeup and not feel both uncomfortable about my skin and the compulsion to pick. This video helped me realise that this really is a problem and isn’t a non issue like I’ve always been brushing it aside as.
This is going to sound mild compared to others here so I'm hesitant to even share it, but it's all I have that's relevant. I was a mustache and beard puller, stress and boredom triggered, but out of control enough to leave unsightly patches. In school it was the worst or at the computer, if I had a hand free, it would happen and I wouldn't even notice. Granted it's not painful or anything but to a man it is embarrassing. More of our confidence and masculinity than we'd like to admit is tied to our hair, beards included. I never knew how light I got off, this disorder sounds terrible and I feel for you all. Rachel, thank you for all the mh videos, your bravery and openness is a constant inspiration. Also please show us your Legos, they rock.
I think this would be deemed trichotillomania (might’ve spelt it wrong) as that’s related to hair pulling so might be worth looking into, and you aren’t alone
I pull my eyebrows and eyelashes out which left me with patchy and nonexistent ones. You're not the only one. And if it's physically noticeable it's not mild. Good luck to you with battling it.
Thank you for making this video. It's such a struggle to deal with on a daily basis. Anxiety brings on the picking, picking causes stress and the cycle continues. People never talk about it, but when they do it's usually negative. Thank you again for helping us feel less alone.
I've struggled with this since I was 8 years old. It tends to come out when I'm anxious/depressed. I had no clue so many people had this problem, as well. This makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you for this, Rachel.
Thank you for talking about this. I’ve been struggling with this for years and hardly seen anyone say anything about it. I’m not glad I’m the only one suffering with this but I’m relieved to know I’m not alone in it. I’ve always felt so weird about it even though I can’t help it and the whole being reprimanded by authority figures really resonates with me. My parents always tell me to ‘stop doing that’ without asking me why or actually trying to help me. It’s not that I don’t want to leave those scratches and spots alone, I just constantly feel the urge to prod at them and I always give in. I’m not even conscious of doing it half the time.
Colleen Ballinger recently shared a really emotional video about her struggles with Derma. It's great to see people finally talking about this. If I had seen this as a teen / 20 something, I might not have felt so alone.
Love this video!!! Thanks for bringing attention to this and being SO open with your experience, definitely helps me feel less alone. I’ve had this issue since 6th grade, and dealt with bad acne for several years so I really, REALLY damaged my skin…. I have some deep scars, I think they’re called ice pick scars or something like that? And those are really hard to fix when you don’t have thousands of dollars to go to a professional for help. It’s damaged my skin and damaged my confidence and it sucks. I have body dysmorphia and anxiety which fuel this habit the most I think. Thanks for sharing and making me feel less weird and ashamed about it.
Rachel, I had a similar problem with me and food. Whenever I was in a Poor mental state, are used to just binge on food. This habit started during my adolescent and I used to binge on junk food for minutes and hours at a stretch. And that’s how I gained a lot of weight. I never had too many friends. I just had on fake people around me and that’s how my self-confidence reduced and my emotional dependency on food became higher. After I realised that I am eating too much I’m getting fat, I started to smoke in my college days and became a habitual smoker. Now I am fine and I make a conscious effort not to eat too much or give at least 3-4 hours gap. I still do smoke sometimes. Fortunately, I have the will power to quit smoking for weeks and months at a stretch. But when I do I am in a trance like state. It’s like a big relaxation for your mind and heart even though it’s damaging in the long run. I also have a similar problem regarding nail biting and picking the dead skin of my nails until it bled painfully. I nowadays carry a nail cutter with me to work so that I don’t end up biting my nails and cuticles. I am so glad that you are talking about such issues. It’s so comforting listing to you. Thank you so much ❤️
OH MY GOD IT HAS A NAME! I hope that actually knowing what it's called might help me deal with it. Thank you so much for making this video and sharing your experience!
thank you so, so much for making this video. the community tab alone made me feel so much better and less alone and less weird as well too. but now i have something to show my bf when he asks where i got all my scars from. i appreciate this video so much. thank you rachel
I've had this ever since I was a small child. I remember at as young as 5 years old picking every single mosquito bite into terrible scars and getting yelled at for it. I'd lie that it was itchy when in reality it wasn't anymore. Only a few years ago did I find that this is a disorder with a name and that other people struggle with it aswell. Thank you for your video and raising awareness Rachel!
I am always astonished about how effing much we have in common, Rachel. So glad I found your channel. One day I would love to get a chance to actually talk to you in person. We would have so much to talk about and to share.
I clicked the instant I saw the title, thank you Rachel! I've picked my skin for so many years, later years my legs and they are full of scars. It's not even that there's a ingrown hair or anything from the beginning, i just pick at my skin. I do this when I'm stressed, i can sit for 45min-1h just staring at my skin, picking, often with a flashlight for better view of my non-existing "imperfections". I never knew this was a disorder, I was just ashamed thinking it's just me.
I think I'm lucky that my sister also deals with it--so I never thought I was alone, even if I do it worse on my face and her on her arms, so mine's a lot more visible. Trance-like state is the best way to describe it for me, too. We both started around puberty, still doing it in our 30s. One of the nice things about this pandemic is that at least when I make a mess of my face I don't feel like I can't go out in public, I can just slap on a mask and hide most of it.
Thank you for making a video about this, it can’t have been easy to look back on those difficult times. People need to know they’re not alone when they’re struggling with stuff like this 💕
1. Thank you for the video! 2. Thank for always having Kyra on!!! She's such a cutie and I really appreciate seeing her cuddle up with you (especially since all of my dogs are really far away rn T^T)
i'm so happy you feel comfortable sharing this. i personally don't have dermatillomania but I constantly bite my lips and gums - i can't even remember when I first started doing it but it's mainly when i'm bored or anxious. I always kind of thought it was probably an result of my anxiety but never thought to try and stop myself, but this video has made me think about actively trying to stop my behaviour. It's not a bad thing to have any BFRB but I hope that i can channel my anxiety into other coping mechanisms :)
I didn't even know this was a thing. Thank you for doing this video, such a detailed one, and with examples with your mental health. I can finally address and understand this behaviour. Now that I check pictures of myself in diferent periods of my life, it is night and day. Now I must find coping mechanisms to stop doing this. Thank you so much for being so honest and upfront
I have trichotillomania and it’s been horrible lately. I’m pretty insecure about how uneven/not smooth and shiny my hair is. I would just shave my head but I have a bald spot from when I was a baby lol.
I have trich too and I just shave my head now. I have to fight myself to not go grab tweezers to continue to ruin my life....I hate this disorder soooo much
This is so relieving to hear others experiences, because I have just this summer started to realise how much I do this and how bad it gets when I'm at my worst.
Rachel I really, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate you opening up so much about this and informing me that it’s even a thing. I don’t even know what else to say. Just…thank you so much. ❤️
Thank you for making this video and just at the time I needed to see it. A week ago I made the connection between this issue and my hair plucking as being a compulsion and I've been feeling a lot of shame about it these last few days. I pick a bit at spots on my face, but my main issue is using tweezers and needles to pull (or dig) out my p*bic hair. I'd stopped for a while, but then spent a whole evening doing it last week and when I saw my bare skin again I suddenly noticed loads of tiny scars from previous times picking
i love how you use your platform to talk about alll different important topics, i have a feeling i may have this disorder. but it is only my scalp and i cant stop but only when im stressed/thinking a lot at night, so i dont know if that counts.
I have it, I do it mostly on my face, I do it no matter what feeling I have, it appears to me don't trust me, it sounds like a nervous habit, because skin pickers do it regardless of anything
@@GB-ww9ot im stressed p much every day so its become an every day thing for me as im trying to relax in the evening. it sucks doesnt it☹️ sending love
mine started with my scalp and nail-biting as a kid! if it is bothering you, you feel like you can't stop, or it's causing you discomfort, I recommend trying to see a mental health professional and talking about it! it also sounds like you have a lot of stress, so maybe two birds with one stone! (wishing you luck, you're not alone!)
This is such a thoughtful video to make, thank you Rachel! You're so compassionate and I love that. I've compulsively picked the skin on my lips my whole life, I'm 34 years old. Everything you mentioned rings true for me. Anxiety triggers, picking to the point of bleeding and pain, etc. I found lip gloss that I adore YEARS ago, and I am always super well stocked. I slather it on whenever I notice I'm picking or sore, not only does it prevent me from picking but it also soothes and moisturizes my lips, helping to heal them. It's slightly mentholated and minty, so it's very soothing. That's all I've found to help. Thank you for discussing this issue!!
hey Rachel, I struggle with trichotillomania, and Im glad you made this video!! mirrors trigger me too, and I usually have to keep mine covered/away so I can avoid hair pulling. some solutions you suggested sound very interesting, I'll try them out! thank you so much for talking about this :)
Also triggered by mirrors. I’m only able to have them uncovered after doing a lot of (for me healthy) body alterations (HRT, losing weight.) They’re still a problem though :/
To the extent of picking at things like pimples, dry skin, and scabs, yeah I do that probably too much. That said, if there isn't something like that to focus on, then in those cases no. EDIT: jeez I don't think I've had anything escalated to quite that extent, worst I've ever had would be either when I was in school and had some really bad breakouts on my face (I remember once bursting what I now suspect was a small abscess on my cheek, basically it was like an extended pimple over something stretched over like a half-inch or so), or more recently when a pimple or whatever on my leg was a harbinger of a vascular disorder that resulted in 1-2 inch wounds requiring penicillin and bandages (it actually went on for a few months I procrastinated going to the doctor where I finally got the penicillin). Wearing compression socks now and I need to get off my bum and exercise...
I have this too. Nice to see someone I look up to talking about this. I wont be watching the video because I've been doing well and I dont want to be triggered. Still, thank you for making me feel less alone
I’ve seen your videos on my recommended from time to time and watched them. This video reassured One a bit, I’m not alone with the struggle that is life. Thank you for sharing this… now, apologies if I drone on too much. This video hit me right in the feels, and was very awakening to One’s mental health issues. I too, have OCD tendencies and Autistic to boot, so I end up just hiding away from the world because I feel everyone is looking at me and my hideously picked on face. I feel like people think I’m a crack addict whom is in denial. This year, has been particularly bad as I’m fighting to get a diagnosis for the crippling pain I’m in everyday. One of my other family members was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and they have all the same symptoms as me. Coming to terms with this realisation has been so hard. I’ve had my fair share of shit thrown at me mentally from a very young age. I picked at everything when I was a teenager, because my father would tell me I was the fat kid of the family. I ended up in 2 shit relationships in my early 20’s, and finally I’m alone with my children. Finally diagnosed Autistic (after my children were also) it kinda answers the reason why I never could make any good friends like the rest of my family. I have difficulty “reading between the lines”.
@@juliav5621 Haha what a coincidence! Hope we both find a way to deal with this one day! Right now I'm trying to stop by having gel nails. It's harder to pick but sadly not impossible. But at least I stop before touching some of my spots because I know that I can't get to them with those nails. Maybe it'll work for you as well!
Had this all my life. Same thing multiple of my friends. We recently talked about it during a car ride, it was soooo nice to figure out that we all do it. To have someone else describe the experience you have. For me it's anxiety based.
I've been dealing with various types of BFRBs since early childhood and I'm very grateful you're talking about it. I only learned there was a word for it and that it was a disorder in 2020, and it helped me not to feel like a freak for engaging in these behaviours anymore. I'm glad you're bringing visibility to it ^^
The first time a therapist i had told me that my skin picking was self harm, i completely disagreed and thought she was full of shit. It's just popping pimples after all, you're gonna tell me that's self harm? But it's so much more like that... the trance like compulsive state u go into wher you're just seeking dopamine and actively harming your skin and doing something you know you'll regret for hours at a time, multiple times a week or even daily. That's not normal, thinking about it now, it really is self harm. Thanks for talking about this, I could relate to a lot of what you were saying and it just feels nice to hear someone else who understands what it's like and like, hearing some of the same thoughts and actions i've had about my own skin picking from someone else is very validating and makes me feel less alone.
I didn't even realise this was a thing and here I am like, shit I do this! It's so nice to hear someone talking about this. I love your content Rachel! Also have a little black staff! So cute🥺💓
I'm so happy that you're talking about this! I also appreciate the OCD visibility since it is such a misunderstood disorder. It's so difficult to stop picking my skin and has been a battle for 20+ years. But I try 💪🏻
I "cured" my nail biting about 3 years ago. I can still find myself chewing on the skin around my nails at times, but even that is WAY better than before. The best thing I can do is get rid of any snag with clippers asap or I want to chew it off so bad! I did mess up and but a thumbnail, and it took a month before I stopped chewing it and could clean up the snags and regrow the dang thing. I've also been able to stop picking my arms out of shear willpower.
I thought I was just being stupid. I literally do it so much- probably because of my insecurity that got due to my acne. Even tho I don't have acne anymore it's so stuck in my mind, I still do it. I didn't know it was an actual disorder. Thank you so much to bringing this up
I didn't even know this was a thing. I have seborrheic dermatitis and I tend to pick at my face a lot when I'm stressed/anxious. I thought it was just a symptom of my anxiety. Edit: The lip and nail biting is so relatable too. My lips are pretty much always cracked, chapped and bleeding, especially during the winter time because of the dry weather.
Wow, I’ve never known what was wrong with me before now. One of my good friends has always struggled with trichotillomania and I’ve always understood her feelings of anxiety relating to it even though I didn’t have it. I wasn’t aware of dermatillomania until today. have minor skin picking issues with most of my face, but it’s really bad on my fingers and lips. It always has been. I didn’t know other people did this, and I didn’t know it was common with anxiety disorders. I find I do it when I’m highly anxious at work. I have a highly stressful job that can go from hours of boredom to hours of non stop business. I’m an art student, so when it’s slow I sketch, but when it’s busy And I can’t, I tend to bite my lips under my mask or pick at my fingers. I honestly think I’d be doing it to my face just as much if I thought people wouldn’t notice me in the act at work. Although it gets bad when I’m stressed or depressed, I find the habit persists even when I’m having a good day. For example, I had one of the best days I’ve had in a while yesterday, and I still made fingers bleed several times. Thank you for this video, it’s nice to not feel alone with this habit and to start to figure out ways to curb this behaviour.
As somebody with dermatillomania AND trypohobia, imagine my disappointment when I Google image searched Picking Stones. 😂 I'm really glad they exist and I think the concept is so cool but I should've paid closer attention to your description of them.
wow thank you so much for this. i have been picking my skin since childhood- i have ocd and skin issues on my arms. my teachers used to yell at me in elementary school for picking at my arms for so long instead of doing my work. i feel like a weirdo for this and it’s so nice to see someone talking about it and so many people in these comments saying they relate❤️
thank you so much for this - i had to emotionally prepare myself for this. i've been picking compulsively for over five years now (i think) and have gone through phases of picking, not picking, getting angry at myself for picking, etc etc. i always feel out of the loop because i don't see them as "flaws" necessarily, i just like the sensation of popping pimples n such? i started picking after i started watching extraction videos in high school. i'm going to try to do the journaling thing you mentioned, rachel!! i find that keeping my hands busy really helps (i like to embroider/cross-stitch), but now that i have my own bathroom again, it's gone pretty downhill. appreciate you and everyone in this community for being so open about it
I have eczema, autism and anxiety and while that isn't the same thing that you have, I can't BELIEVE just how much I can relate and just... understand what you're saying. I've never really been able to relate to others about skin issues like this, so thank you Rachel for making this video - the video honestly made my cry a bit. Came here to learn about a totally random disorder that I saw recommended to me, left here feeling a sense of... relatability in seeing that I'm not the only one going through stuff like this.
I'm so glad to find out there are people like me out here with this!! I have ADHD psoriasis and anxiety... Hi!! Sucks doesn't it! I hope you're doing well :)
TW: Self harm So it has a name then ? When I read your post on Instagram I kind of went like „yeah I know that“, and after this Video I do relate quite strongly to it. I got a over ten years long history with self-harm (and I am turning 21 next month). And my „favorite“ method always was scratching myself, rather than cutting or stuff. And even though I have it quite good under control, I just can’t stop picking when I got some wound or some stuff. If I get a scratch or something like that, I will always re-open it and re-open it and re-open it. I remember when I had a really small wound from a soft air accident, that literally stayed of 8 weeks cause I picked it again and again. I still have a scar on my leg from that, even though it wasn’t a big wound and didn’t even really bleed. I only noticed how bad it was when my bf (who used to self-harm as well) started stopping it whenever he noticed. Until than, I didn’t even get the link between selfharming and picking. Also I really understand the nail thing. I have naturally dry skin on my hands and therefor often have those skin flaps (English is not my first language, so I don’t know how you call it) around my nails. I always chew them and stuff like that, which of course doesn’t really help it 😂 I don’t really know how to end this, so thanks for reading I guess 😂 I hope you all do good in this strange times!
I've had this in my watch later since you posted it but was too scared to watch it. I'm finally ready to listen and accept this is something I've done for 8 years and your empathy made me feel so much better. Thank you Rachel
Its hereditary. Its OCD. Its NOT SELF HARM at all!! People with this would do ANYTHING to stop and do not seek endorphins or pain. Its compulsive self-grooming. The skin is a complex organ that connects us on a sensory level to our world. Anyway, if you purposefully "groom/pick" it changes your brain and relieves anxiety. It's nothing like self-harming in its nature. 6 direct members of my family have it and I have it. One thing that's been temporarily successful for me was to have my hands manicured and my nails painted with thick polish. I dont cause as much damage.
I didn't even know this had a name. I've struggled with this for .... God, my entire life it feels like. I've had severe anxiety my entire life as well as a deep depression. I could be sitting there picking at the same spot over and over and thinking to myself that I know it's making it worse and it's going to scar and yet I keep doing it. It's something that is almost trance-like in it's effects and a lot of the time I don't feel "right" until I do it. These tips are going to help me a lot. Thank you for talking about this. I know it probably wasn't an easy thing to do but I appreciate it so much. Sending you so much love and support, Rachel.
ME TOO RACHEL, IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR SOMEONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. I compulsively pick at my face, I don't usually go a day without trying to "correct" some sort of imperfection.
I have one of those magnifying glasses on my mirror… I wish I never bought the damn thing because I torture myself with it.
I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone. I have struggled with this for so long.
It's so nice to hear that I'm not alone, I started doing it about a year ago and I've been so ashamed of the scars it leaves. It's so comforting to know that there are people who understand what it is like
@@lindsayn2116 I have been doing it for 5 years, I given up on stopping, I only do a little bit each day, but you still have hope to stop, my face is completely ruined by scars, enlarged pores
Me too!!
“Why don’t you just stop” / “why don’t you just pick a less harmful compulsion” is the most annoying shit to get told especially when the other person is reacting with what feels like theatric disgust. Like yeah, this is what I want. This self correcting body correcting panic response where I have to try to claw the wrongness out of my hell skin is totally what I want to be doing with my time bro.
I haven’t gotten to a razor blade but I’ve gotten to tweezers, needles, thumbtacks. I have to keep my nails cut short but also get worried that not being able to get gunk out with my nails will make me agitate the wounds bc I’ll just like. Keep trying.
You don’t realize how bad it is, and moreso it’s like, you feel like you’re fixing something to the extent that in the moment it seems good you’re doing it that much. It’s very weird
A coping mechanism I use is putting gold gelly roll ink over closed scabs and dark spots. They look like little constellations and despite the whole thing I really want my skin to feel pretty.
I’ve never been in a romantic relationship like that but feeling trapped or restricted and just having to curl in and obsess is such a huge thing
I’m vain and I wanna see if my comment is in here 😂
I do impulsively pick my skin and I didn’t even know this is a disorder. I just thought I can’t control myself well enough and was so disappointed or angry with myself every time…
Yes, the self-hate is intense
Same. I’ve never felt so seen before.
I’m the exact same. Remember you aren’t alone
I’m only five minutes in but I had no clue this was a disorder, I just thought it was something I did alone. If I get a bite on my legs or a cut or a scratch or anything like that I’ll scratch at it till it bleeds and when it scabs I’ll peel or pick the scab off. This stops it from healing and sometimes these cuts last months. I’ll keep picking the scabs off until the cut gets smaller and I can’t pick it off anymore. This is something I’ve been doing since early childhood (I’m 16 currently). I have 30 + visible scars on my legs from doing this to myself. I’m so embarrassed of my scars that I haven’t worn shorts or a skirt since I was 12. I’ve never done it on my face. I personally don’t consider it self harm because my mindset when I scab pick and my mindset when I used to cut are completely different although I understand why many do consider it self harm. This being said, when I was 13/14 and did cut myself I picked the scabs off of those too. I’m going to show my mother this video. Thank you Rachel for making this because I genuinely thought it was something only I had to struggle with.
same!! my legs are a biggg place i like to pick at. i do my face sometimes too, but ive been really trying not to touch my face lately. i have like 50+ scars all over my back and legs and everything. you're not alone. i also havent worn shorts or a skirt in years. i dont think I'll ever be able to go swimming again because of how much I've made myself hate my body
I'm self-conscious about my legs for different reason but no one ever looks at your legs like you do. And scars on your legs can be explained as being clumsy
me too, i always pick my face leaving scars and bruises all around when i finished. I would cover it and shrug it off. I have struggled with depression since i was around 12, and i hate myself. Maybe that is why i do it? idk. I also scratch my arms until they started bleeding
Dude I’m 18 and I have had the exact same experience, like almost down to the letter
I have so many open wounds on my legs rn because of my constant clawing
I actually do this... I literally hv an indent in my leg from an injury I repeatedly picked at over I don't know how long
I'm not an emotional person but I teared up watching this. I've never EVER seen anyone else admit to doing this on a large platform, let alone be so compassionate and thoughtful about it... Skin picking has been such an extreme source of shame for me since I was a preteen and at 22 I still struggle with it every day.
As someone who has trichotillomania, is almost a relief seeing someone talking about a similar disorder.
So I'd just like to thank u Rachel for this video !! I really appreciate how honest and real your videos are! ❤❤❤
Same 🙏
I've got both, and I feel very similar. Sending love 💖
I have trich too. ❤ I wear a meditation ring (also called spinner rings) from Etsy on my thumb and try to remember to fidget instead of pulling. It helps a little and it's cute.
These are such odd disorders. I don't have anyone in real life that gets it so videos and comments like this are extra comforting.
Fellow trichotillmania. You're not alone.
@@bridget663 Thank u so much for the comment!! I just bought a couple of stim toys to try out and see if any of them would help, I'll definitely check this meditation ring out!
I'm a mental health therapist myself and I still struggle so much with this disorder. Thank you for dedicating a video to this, for being so open, and for normalizing this disorder to the general public. You're awesome :)
Yep, another therapist here. I did so much damage with picking my face that I had to have two lots of surgery.
Omg "when being reprimanded by authority figures" it gets so much worse! My parents have used me as a therapist for years and I associate this with being reprimanded, so I'm just constantly picking as a way to get through it whenever I'm in a situation like that with them. It's TMI but it feels so cathartic to say in this safe environment! Thank you so much for bringing attention to something that's obviously so widespread but never talked about 💕
I understand. My father was bad to us and I used trich to soothe myself, to calm, me time.... I would go into a trance and feel safe.... Its scary.... I do it still when stressed and I know the abuse triggered this. I'm embarrassed and I shouldn't be as we should all be able to talk openly xx
@@sambailie4773 I hope we find a way to lessen both the triggers and the reaction to them 💛
Maybe you already know about this but it sounds like parentification might be a subject to look into or that you could relate to as well.
@@leopardshadow333 thanks so much I'll research it! 💜
This video actually made me cry, I’ve never met anyone else who has talked about this and I shared my story on your post the other day and sat reading what everyone else had written, you are so brave sharing your pictures and making things better for other people who feel alone with mental health problems and make it feel okay to be who we each are as individuals. Your honesty and compassion for others is so needed in the world right now 💗, it really did touch my heart this evening. I’ve so many new things to try now starting with the nails, Im planning little Halloweeny ghost nails as I type this 😊 xx thanks for being you.
I didn't read the full comment section so I'm going to go back and read through it bc I could use some serious help. My fingers/toes and nails are atrocious. I have picked my pinkie toenail all the way off a bunch of times.
Today I learned that my lifelong compulsive skin picking is actually a disorder.
When I was little, I used to sit in the bathroom for hours peeling the skin off the pads of my feet, sometimes using the pointy end of a floss stick to get under the skin to pull it up. Then, around age 10, I started getting acne, so that became my prime target. I picked at my skin mercilessly for years, all over my body, no pimple left untouched and no scab left intact. For years I would climb up on my bathroom counter and just go to town. I have gotten much better over the last couple years, with my acne finally healing and my skin clearing. My scars are healing, though sometimes I still relapse. A couple nights ago, for the first time in like 10 years, I had a callus on my heel and I gave into my instincts to pull it off. That lead to me sitting there for over an hour pulling the skin away until it hurt. For the past couple days I have struggled to walk on my heel, and to be totally honest, I feel very much ashamed. AND that shame I've been feeling caused me to do it again last night because it just sends you into this weird trance, nothing else is happening other than what you are doing to yourself in that very moment, you are in complete control. This is something that needs to be talked about more often, so we can know when to seek help.
I see old pictures of myself from high school and I just think... I walked around with raw spots, scabs and scars all over my face like that thinking I looked totally normal??? Picking was a nearly nightly occurrence for me back then, and it's so noticeable, but I didn't even think twice about it.
Wait this is an actual thing? I’ve done this for years! Whenever I get spots or acne and picked them until the point where I have scars. I thought I was just weird but this is really eye opening. I’ve got scars on my chest from this and I’m really self conscious about it, thank you for making this video Rachel! 🙏
This problem really does link to mental health a lot and I think it’s a symptom of it. Stress is a really big factor that I’ve found, like for example I remember I had one of my worst moments when I was in 6th form in 2019. I remember my mates seeing me and asking “wtf happened to your face?” As well, when you’re struggling mentally and then you damage your appearance, it makes you feel even worse. Then you don’t leave the house and just do nothing, and then because you’re doing nothing you feel even worse. It’s sadly leads to a really hard state to get out of, and even when you are getting better, you still have the marks which makes you feel self conscious.
Same
I think it's definitely a spectrum- I not only pick at any spots I have, but I will often make spot and pick where there are non, to the point where my entire leg/arm/face/whatever I'm attacking during that spell is just covered in cuts and scabs. I think It's normal for most people to pick it there spots when they're stressed but this tends to go quite a bit beyond that 😔
@@whims6278 it’s the same for me, I often do it when I’m stressed or even bored. I’ll find spots where there are none. I’ll just be lying in bed at night specifically searching for them and just make a mess of myself 😩
@@Ruby_Mullz when I found this I was like holy crap I had no idea this many people struggle with this. Makes me feel so much less alone and guilty about it.
I’ve never clicked so fast. I must’ve missed the community post but I can say now that I’ve been dealing with severe dermatillomania for over half of my life. Im 22 and i remember doing this at 10-11 yrs old. Tried CBT and other forms of therapy but just like you, it’s a response to anxiety/stress. I definitely think now that this BFRB is a direct consequence of other various mental health issues that I’ve had to manage with medications for years. For me, my back, and shoulders have the most scarring and visible pigmentation from ripping off scabs that eventually left craters in my skin. Like Rachael said no spot in my body is off limits. I’ve never worn a bathing suit to the beach, I don’t wear anything sleeveless, I love dresses but feel like I can’t wear the styles I want to because of my skin. The worst part is the guilt and shame that comes up when I’m meeting someone new and while I crave intimacy, I feel disgusting and like it will make the person run away. It brings tears to my eyes to this day. At my worst I would have to throw out shirts constantly because they were saturated with blood spots. Sharing for anyone who’s been struggling with this - we are more than our skin, you’re not ruined, I’m with you.
oh my god i relate to the guilt and shame with meeting someone new and not wearing sleeveless things 💔 i’ve always been so grateful for my friends and family who have seen me and my picking scars and not even noticed! though i’m always scared of someday a partner asking about that one crater scar on my boob haha 😅
I'm scarred over my entire body now....except for below my knees and down. I've been accused of being a methamphetamine addict many times even by nurses and doctors. It's so hard to live with....thanks for sharing your comment here. I'm sorry you suffer. I've found that there are gorgeous feminine long-sleeved shirts out there and super sheer ones for the summertime....clothes that help me feel like a beautiful woman again. I'm at the point that I have tried body makeup and it's actually really successful. Love, Michelle. Oh! Ps....I wear board shirts (super, super cure ones now) and a bikini top with a Lacy or sheer bathing suit cover-up....I feel just as beautiful.
@@beth4107 so well put! to be fair I’ve never had someone mention it in the moment, and for that I’m so grateful because it allows for the moment to feel normal in a way 😅
@@michellelovell7569 Michelle, thank you for sharing these tips, I’m going to look for these tops 🥺 it’s hard to feel stylish but this is truly helpful. Your kind words mean everything, and I am so glad that you shared a part of your story as well 🤍 . I can relate to you on that people are quick to make assumptions. The scarring down my shoulders is so bad that people have come up to me to ask why I have tract marks, straight up. I grew up having terrible anxiety and I’d often end up in the ER. The nurses and dr’s would treat me as if I was there to get a high out of it. It’s truly debilitating to be looked down upon when you need help the most.
I have a family member who struggles with this, because of Autism. They have struggled with it their whole life and I never knew what to call it, or if it even had a name. I was recently educated about this, and I am so thankful for you sharing your story. I will be looking into the picking stone for this person.
(Huh, I’m autistic but never correlated the two things…I think I’m gonna do some digging…)
@@sentimentaltrash it absolutely is!! Correlated with ADHD as well
Fun fact about me: as an eight -ish year old, I kept picking this spot on my scalp. In class. I think I was stressed. I would scratch and scrape and get blood under my fingernails. It was pretty nasty.
At some point, I got a fungal infection. When I was at the doctor's, they put a scalpel or something to the area to get some skin for testing. The scratching feeling was oddly amazing. I almost tried to touch the blade, but nurses of course stopped me.
I still pick at myself. And now, I try to pluck hairs from my legs. I like the hairs that just slide out of the skin without resistance. I also like the thicker hairs, the ones like cords sticking out from a sea of skin.
Also, I like going at my pores. The idea that I can get the dead skin and whatnot out, leaving some empty pore, an empty hole..it excites me a little.
I've had this for as long as I can remember, and combined with chronic acne since I was a teen has made my skin my biggest insecurity and affected my mental health and self esteem significantly. Makes me feel less alone to see so many people talking about it ❤️
I have trichotillomania and I always hugely appreciate people speaking up about their experiences with any BFRB
Ingrown hair... get you BOTH at the same time. 😅
I thought I was the only guy with this . I tube out abc have really damaged my skin . Help .😢
Oh my god it feels so good to hear Rachel talk about this because I always felt like a freak for having this. It's gotten better but I still sometimes have episodes and then end up feeling disgusting
Hey do you know how you got better or was it just a time thing
I didn’t even realize this was a disorder, I just thought it was something I just sort of did. Especially the biting of the nails and the skin around the nails. Also the picking of scabs.
Same! I thought it was just something everyone did...
Like Rachel said, many many people pick at their skin or tug on their hair, but it becomes a problem when it affects your functioning! Not to mention, the compulsion part is a big big aspect of it as Trich and Skin-picking disorder are related to OCD. Similar to the distinction between regular stress and anxiety disorders. I didn't think I had a problem until it hurt to walk because my feet were torn up and my hair was thinning noticeably to other people 😅 So if your biting/picking is affecting your functioning or causing a lot of stress if you can't stop, I recommend seeing a mental health professional! Therapy helped me try to come up with alternative actions and reframe my picking and pulling (obviously I still struggle but am healthier a bit!).
I realized that my comment on your post was the first time I’d ever talked about my experience. Thank you so much for providing a safe and supportive place to discuss it, this was really eye opening
I'm struggling with this condition for over 20 years- ironic since I'm a esthetician and should know better. But it's almost like my profession made me even more aware of every little imperfection on my skin. I could sit and pick for hours at the skin on my face...it's definitly a stress release thing for me. I also used to chew and pick the skin on my fingers until they started bleeding when I was stressed without realizing it. Acrylic Nails helped to disrupt the compulsion unfortunately I still do it on my face. It's so frustrating.
I have severe agoraphobia and haven’t left the house more than 10 times in the last 5 years.only have for dr appointments. I’ve only see 2 people and 1 of them knows about it. I hate that they don’t want to listen to me when they see it and only say “you need to stop that” & “why are you doing that” “you’re gonna end up with an infection” etc. It just makes me feel ashamed and mad at myself. Thanks for making this video Rachel.
Ahhhhh so this is what I’m going through at the moment! I don’t leave the house, but when I don’t and I know I need to get groceries, i get anxious, pick and then don’t want to leave the house even more cause my Face is a mess and the cycle continues. I’m so sorry you struggle with that!!! But man it’s vicious enough as it is - don’t need other people chiming in 😂
Yes, I have this. My whole back and shoulders have sores and my fingers look like those of a zombie. I have to say that the elation and positive rush you get when you pull off dead skin or pick on spots is so great, it is hard to describe and hard to let go when you are worrying. I can't give this up unless I had something equally elating and comforting to replace it, but there just isn't. Thanks for sharing this.
thank you so much for talking about this Rachel 😭 I've struggled with Dermatillomania and Trichotillomania since I was around 11. it means so much to me to see others talking about this more.
Rachel, I am a millennial who's had atrocious anxiety & stress all the way back to toddler age, I started exhibiting stress response symptoms about age 4. My mother is literally the female version of Trump, and since I was the first born in my family in my generation, and was disabled so much by age 16 that I was helpless to escape this toxic environment, watching all my siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles all move far away from her, leaving me as the bait, the scapegoat...
I started peeling the dead skin off my heels by age 10, and would peel as much off as I could whenever it started cracking. I also have always had probs with cutting & other self harm (including using safety pins to puncture) around ages 14-18...
When I was 27, the same year I had my first massive stress heart failure, my teeth started splitting apart & crumbling, not from poor hygiene (I had zero cavities before 23) but because I'd been clenching & grinding my teeth for 30yrs.
By age 30, I was missing 3 teeth & was forced to go to a free clinic where they pulled ALL my teeth, which, with all the complications, took about 18 months.
After 8 failed open back surgeries, all with complications, and 2 massive heart failures, losing all my teeth & ending up with no jawline, too horrified to smile or open my mouth in public (thanks to Corona for the mask mandates!) was by far the worst I went thru.
Starting about 3yrs ago, the insane stress, anxiety & depression caused me to start a major OCD habit of plucking, complete with tweezers & a little 5x mirror, I stand in the bathroom for up to 1.5hrs, every few days, plucking every single eyelash & eyebrow hair possible. The eyelashes are particularly satisfying, better than picking, IMO.
It's caused by having to fight tooth & nail, not just to medicate my dozen debilitating symptoms enough to stay out of the hospital, with nightly myoclonic seizures, nausea making me want to d!e 24/7, and the only thing I have to get my 3-4hrs a day of sleep in is a half-broken old Goodwill recliner, but also having to work my butt off & sell anything I can, just to try & cover my insane $400-450/month meds costs! It's really telling about America, that terminally ill patients have to be even more miserable, fighting to add enough to our pitifully small monthly income ($750 for a single girl who never had a chance at a job before I was disabled) so that we don't d!e even faster from POVERTY than from all these illnesses...
Wow, that sounds like a //lot//, and I am so sorry for your hardships. My heart goes out to you. The world can be so cruel, and America has SO much work to do....
This is absolutely horrific. This is exactly one of the reasons why I support something such as anti-natalism.
Someone told me recently that not all people who suffer think they shouldn't have existed because of it, but what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think you should have ever existed? If you think you should have, why?
I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive, I'm really not trying to be. Stuff like this just pisses me off and I don't think reproduction should be done and I really don't care if it is a thing that everything else in nature does.
Just because there may be a thing that everything else in nature does, it does not necessarily follow that it is good. Even what is considered to be natural or of an order or cycle needs to be questioned. People need to be careful about their appeal to nature because nature can and will inevitably bite you in the ass.
Anyways. I don't really know what to say about all that you've gone through besides what I've already said. However, I'm surprised you're still here. I'm sorry you ever had to go through any of this. It could have all been avoided had life never evolved in the first place.
Perhaps that sounds a bit extreme, but I'm not sure many people would be arguing with me about that while they are actively going through some ineffable event in their lives or through something chronic.
@@waterzero5461 Actually, I have wished quite frequently that my mom had gotten an abortion, she quite clearly shouldn't have been allowed to have kids! The abuse she used as 'godly punishment' back in the 80s & early 90s not only would get her arrested now, but are a direct cause of a few of my worse symptoms.
I also can say that I am jealous of anyone who is allowed to die quickly & painlessly, often wish very much that I had a 🔫 & bullet, or wish that someone would break in & put a double tap on my head, just to be sure. I've been brought back against my clearly & adamantly expressed wishes & signed DNR forms TWICE now, after enduring the same slow, agonizing death that inmates executed by botched lethal injection did, just to be treated even more sh!t & told by the family that still acknowledges I exist to just F-off & d!e... Needless to say, my family's religious obsession & complete lack of even an iota of empathy, are why I am still suffering more & more every month, and why they think my lack of transportation is because I "don't pray enough" & that if I can't afford to live, it's just because I'm deciding to prioritize my meds that are keeping me from dying in the ICU the same way I already did twice! They think I need to just NOT take the meds keeping me alive, while they spend $100s on diabetes meds, have amenities they never use, multiple vehicles sitting unused, and even donate thousands to charity & church every month while ignoring that I am literally slowly losing my grip on reality & spend every day wishing I were de@d, because of POVERTY!!
Yes, I think having kids should be the MOST REGULATED practice! Yes, I wish I hadn't been born, and the very very little positive experience I had, now over 20 years ago, does NOT make even a month of this perpetual he11 worth it!
Thanks for your reply, it's nice to not be called a liar & troll for once... ✌🤓
My goodness... all kids deserve to have good parents, but not all parents deserve to have kids.
I also wish we could live in a world where those with medical issues aren't forced to struggle MORE than they already have to because they have to pay for healthcare. I have multiple mental issues I personally want to see a doctor for, but can't because it costs money.
Really wish there weren't people who just have to deal with suffering their entire life because they just got... unlucky with their genes or parents or socioeconomic status or all of the above.
I truly wish the best for you and that somehow, someway your situation can get at least a bit better.
Gosh, I'm so sorry you have so many hard things going on. 😥🤗
I have been struggling with trichotillomania since I was eight years old and I want to thank you for your honesty! Being honest and vulnerable is what makes human interaction worthwhile to me.
I want to say thank you one more time, Rachel, because I've been trying to work up the courage to tell my new psychiatrist about my picking and the myriad of related self destructive behaviors I have oscillated between throughout my entire life, and this is really making me feel braver. I so admire you for putting this out there... it's a scary thing to do, and I cant imagine being so public when I even lie and avoid the subject around my closest friends. Logically I understand how common and not-a-big-deal this is, but its wonderful to be able to truly see that here.
I used to use a dental pick to poke into my pores before squeezing them. I did this as a kid and young teenager and had no idea it was disordered behavior. Thanks for being so open about this, Rachel! I relate so much.
My sister and I used to use the backs of earrings (gross, I know)
Safety pins for me!
I used anything really, but mostly all kinds of hair pins
That alone is not necessarily a disorder
Not unless it causes significant physical or mental distress or is done compulsively
@@shania9528 I don't mean that this one thing is itself a disorder, just that the behavior is disordered ie dysfunctional, and especially symptomatic when combined with other items. I could list every single skin picking issue I've faced (and the "physical and mental distress") but I chose to cite this one because it was an obsession for me as a kid. I never thought it could be part of a larger issue until I was an adult, which is why I so appreciate hearing about other experiences. :)
I actually have trichotillomania which is different but similar in some ways and I'm super glad someone like you is talking about these types of disorders because until recently I suffered alone without knowing so many other people have had similar experiences to me. Finding other people has really helped me get a boost in my personal recovery and realize i can truly recover 💗
Oh wow, I've struggled with this for years and never knew what it was called because I was always way too embarrassed to seek out information. I just felt a lot of shame around it. I tried coping by buying nicer clothes to cover the areas of my skin I was destroying. A lot of why I think I was doing it for a long time was because I've honestly really hated myself and my body for most of my life, and I wasn't caring for myself at all. I thought by buying nicer clothing, I could take a little pride in myself as well as be more mindful of the areas of my body because I didn't want to bloody new clothes. The way I experience this problem is definitely anxiety and depression related. It gets absolutely out of hand when I'm not mentally well. The clothing thing helped a bit, but it didn't eradicate the problem. Also, I remember doing the mirror poking and prodding you describe as young as 13. As a teen, I'd do it all the time. Trance-like state in front of the mirror for indeterminate amounts of time. I'd pick at my face, shoulders, back, thighs, and chest. I was also self harming with scissors and razors all through my teen years, so the two came up simultaneously. I was able to break free from the more overt self harm by the time I was about 19 or 20, but the skin damage behaviors are persistent. To this day, I still do it. I did it today, in fact, when I first woke up, before I was fully awake. I honestly hate it, and it gives me way more body inaecurity than I already have. X.x
I'm not even halfway through but seeing this video is such a relief. Don't get me wrong, it's terrible that you're going through this but it's also good to see that I'm not alone with this.
I've suffered with an ED for almost 10 years, which led to self-harm and among other things, my self-harm manifested in picking my skin, biting my lips and also tearing off little pieces of skin on my finger tips. I was always so ashamed of my "bad skin" and always blamed it on acne/genetics/hormones/whatever, because I thought that what I was doing was somehow strange and weird and some people might even be disgusted by it. I'm just starting to learn that for me, this is also a way of self-harm and a symptom of my struggles with my body and self-image. Thank you for being so open about this topic! You're definitely making me feel seen and understood! ❤️
I love the fall because I can cover my arms. They are scarred and scabbed from years of doing this to myself as well. Lots and lots of dots. Lots and lots of years of not being happy with myself. I would literally sit and pick at it anywhere, at home, at the bus stop, at a friend's house, in my car after parking. And in the summer you can see it all because its so hot and my arms are exposed and I notice people looking sometimes. It stings a little bit but I no longer give too much weight to the thoughts or opinions of others. So thank you Rachel for your honest words. I'm a long time follower and I'm proud to see how far you've come!
Does anyone else obsessively pick at/for dry skin? That's what mainly triggers me. I pick at my scalp and face the most because of it
My skin picking has been on and off based on how dry it is where I live. The dry weather makes my lips dry and cracked which triggers the episodes.
I used to pick at my skin a lot while doing my skincare routine because the bathroom light shows all my spots and imperfections but I've found that if I just don't turn on the light I rarely pick. So that's something I can recommend to ppl who pick while washing their face.
Exactly the same for me!
ill try that for sure. everytime i look into a mirror i have the urge to look sooo close to see every lil spot and then...well....trying to "erase" it.
Agreed. I removed the globe in my bathroom mirror. It helped enormously - I never pick at my face anymore
I’m soo happy you’re talking about it! I’ve been struggling with this since I was a little girl. I have scars all over my face because of it.
Oh my god... No one's ever talked about this! Me too. Me too. Thank you for bringing it to light. 🥰
Watching this in tears the entire time. Empathy and collective strength is exactly what I needed today, and this struggle is all too relevant for me. Thank you for making me feel less 'broken', especially the part about going to the transfixed state
Really appreciate your bravery and candor! As a long-time sufferer from the cousin compulsive disorder trichotillomania, it's enlightening to hear just how many people are so similarly anxious and picky. My leverage over the disorder is to reflexively jump to conscientious mode and think about how I'll look if I pick and how I'll look if I don't, thereby reinforcing the better behavior. Of course if the fidget need is even greater than the vanity need, I just find other items to fidget with until the need's passed.
Thank you! your skin looks so great in your videos i never would have guessed!
I suffer from diagnosed Trichotillomania and Dermatillomania. Ive destroyed my skin and balded half my head in under a week. the Dermatillomania has always been a thing. My hubs gets mad at my because i am always picking at my face or legs with tweezers. Its a mixture of everything but my autism is apparently the root of it all.
It's nice to see someone like you (so relatable), talking and educating on this. Defiently helps me not feel so alone and may help people try and find why they may be doing it. Cant get better in any sense until your willing to accept whats happening and its hard to do that without knowledge and understanding yourself.
Thank you for sharing this, Rachel. I have trichotillomania. I started messing with my hair and scratching my scalp when I was around 12 years old, and that evolved into picking any hair on my scalp, face, or eyebrows, that felt “out of place” (in ways that are hard to describe. It couldn’t be just ‘any’ hair). I honestly thought it was just a weird thing I did until a friend of mine sent me a link to an article about trichotillomania. I didn’t realize he, or anyone, noticed. I, like you, would bring tools into the situation: tweezers, razors (to dig into parts of my scalp that became swollen from pulling) and various other things. When I am able to recognize and stop a “session”, I’ll use isopropyl alcohol to sanitize the areas, and because it felt good.
Even though it’s ultimately destructive, for me it feels like a self-soothing behavior I do while I’m idle and kind of in a fog. Since being medicated for other things (panic disorder/bipolar disorder), my episodes are shorter and farther apart.
I saw the thumbnail and immediately clicked. Been dealing with it since I was a kid and not many ppl talk about it. Thank you so much for being so public with this Rachel!
As someone who has struggled with this for as long as i can remember, i really appreciate you sharing your story. it made me feel a lot less alone and i think i even learned some thing about myself watching this video. thank you.
i have this compulsion as well, my doctor has said it's an OCD tendency. i tend to pick when i am especially anxious or stressed. if i cannot pick or i am stopped (it is for my own good) i feel upset. when i pick, i keep telling myself "just one more". thank you for bringing light to this rachel. nobody thinks that there are underlying issues with things like these, that it can just be stopped.
not even 30 seconds in but thank you for making this video, I constantly compulsively pick at my lips which destroys them, and as a kid me and my brother would compulsively pick at our hands and feet. there was a time in high school when I had stopped but it couldn't have been for more than 6 months, as a 21 year old im really glad to know this is a real thing not just me. its always been an anxiety thing (not related to my body dysmorphia) and sometimes if I try and stop my hand will shake. its just been a totally subconscious thing for a while now, you hand just does it. I can stop if I have something better to do but five minutes later there's that hand on my mouth again.
aaaaa so glad to see someone speaking on detmatilomania/excoriation disorder! i’ve been struggling with it, dermaphagia (skin biting), onychophagia (compulsive nail biting), and other body focused repetitive behaviours for about eight or nine years now (nail biting for double that). my bfrbs flare up in response to my body dysmorphia and generalized anxiety, and even though i’ve been in therapy for _everything_ for over a year now, it still takes up so much of my life. that wrongness always feels so all consuming, but the consequences (and scarring) lasts and creates this continuous cycle.
there’s so much shame and stigma surrounding it, so it’s lovely to see more people being so open about their experiences with it too
I will be open about my situation as well, i love that you shared this with us, because i struggle with this too. There have been days where it hurts to walk and hold a pen, I completely understand what you are going through, thank you for sharing this with all of us!
It makes me so happy to see this shared. So many people open up about anxiety and other things but most people don't even touch this one
Its head scratching for me :(
I was literally picking at my skin and hair and biting my nails as I started this. It’s so nice to see this talked about in a non-clinical way, like from someone who has experienced it themselves.
I personally don’t do it for self harm, but it’s kind of a compulsive thing to the point if I don’t take a shower every day I’m ripping up my skin like crazy.
Thank you for talking about this. I’ve been struggling with this for years and it means a lot to see so many people sharing this experience. I really want to quit, thank you for sharing these strategies I’ll be trying them out and I really hope this time I’ll finally be able to get over it. I just hate having so many scabs and swollen spots all over my face, shoulders, chest and arms. I want to be able to go out with off-the-shoulder clothing and without makeup and not feel both uncomfortable about my skin and the compulsion to pick. This video helped me realise that this really is a problem and isn’t a non issue like I’ve always been brushing it aside as.
This is going to sound mild compared to others here so I'm hesitant to even share it, but it's all I have that's relevant. I was a mustache and beard puller, stress and boredom triggered, but out of control enough to leave unsightly patches. In school it was the worst or at the computer, if I had a hand free, it would happen and I wouldn't even notice. Granted it's not painful or anything but to a man it is embarrassing. More of our confidence and masculinity than we'd like to admit is tied to our hair, beards included. I never knew how light I got off, this disorder sounds terrible and I feel for you all. Rachel, thank you for all the mh videos, your bravery and openness is a constant inspiration.
Also please show us your Legos, they rock.
I think this would be deemed trichotillomania (might’ve spelt it wrong) as that’s related to hair pulling so might be worth looking into, and you aren’t alone
I pull my eyebrows and eyelashes out which left me with patchy and nonexistent ones. You're not the only one. And if it's physically noticeable it's not mild. Good luck to you with battling it.
Thank you for making this video. It's such a struggle to deal with on a daily basis. Anxiety brings on the picking, picking causes stress and the cycle continues. People never talk about it, but when they do it's usually negative. Thank you again for helping us feel less alone.
I've struggled with this since I was 8 years old. It tends to come out when I'm anxious/depressed. I had no clue so many people had this problem, as well. This makes me feel so much less alone. Thank you for this, Rachel.
Thank you for talking about this. I’ve been struggling with this for years and hardly seen anyone say anything about it. I’m not glad I’m the only one suffering with this but I’m relieved to know I’m not alone in it. I’ve always felt so weird about it even though I can’t help it and the whole being reprimanded by authority figures really resonates with me. My parents always tell me to ‘stop doing that’ without asking me why or actually trying to help me. It’s not that I don’t want to leave those scratches and spots alone, I just constantly feel the urge to prod at them and I always give in. I’m not even conscious of doing it half the time.
Colleen Ballinger recently shared a really emotional video about her struggles with Derma. It's great to see people finally talking about this. If I had seen this as a teen / 20 something, I might not have felt so alone.
Love this video!!! Thanks for bringing attention to this and being SO open with your experience, definitely helps me feel less alone. I’ve had this issue since 6th grade, and dealt with bad acne for several years so I really, REALLY damaged my skin…. I have some deep scars, I think they’re called ice pick scars or something like that? And those are really hard to fix when you don’t have thousands of dollars to go to a professional for help. It’s damaged my skin and damaged my confidence and it sucks. I have body dysmorphia and anxiety which fuel this habit the most I think. Thanks for sharing and making me feel less weird and ashamed about it.
Rachel, I had a similar problem with me and food. Whenever I was in a Poor mental state, are used to just binge on food. This habit started during my adolescent and I used to binge on junk food for minutes and hours at a stretch. And that’s how I gained a lot of weight. I never had too many friends. I just had on fake people around me and that’s how my self-confidence reduced and my emotional dependency on food became higher. After I realised that I am eating too much I’m getting fat, I started to smoke in my college days and became a habitual smoker. Now I am fine and I make a conscious effort not to eat too much or give at least 3-4 hours gap. I still do smoke sometimes. Fortunately, I have the will power to quit smoking for weeks and months at a stretch. But when I do I am in a trance like state. It’s like a big relaxation for your mind and heart even though it’s damaging in the long run. I also have a similar problem regarding nail biting and picking the dead skin of my nails until it bled painfully. I nowadays carry a nail cutter with me to work so that I don’t end up biting my nails and cuticles. I am so glad that you are talking about such issues. It’s so comforting listing to you. Thank you so much ❤️
Same.... I would binge to cope with the abuse my father inflicted on me and my mum. I would eat until I would shake and in unbearable pain. X
OH MY GOD IT HAS A NAME! I hope that actually knowing what it's called might help me deal with it.
Thank you so much for making this video and sharing your experience!
thank you so, so much for making this video. the community tab alone made me feel so much better and less alone and less weird as well too. but now i have something to show my bf when he asks where i got all my scars from. i appreciate this video so much. thank you rachel
I've had this ever since I was a small child. I remember at as young as 5 years old picking every single mosquito bite into terrible scars and getting yelled at for it. I'd lie that it was itchy when in reality it wasn't anymore. Only a few years ago did I find that this is a disorder with a name and that other people struggle with it aswell. Thank you for your video and raising awareness Rachel!
I am always astonished about how effing much we have in common, Rachel.
So glad I found your channel. One day I would love to get a chance to actually talk to you in person. We would have so much to talk about and to share.
I clicked the instant I saw the title, thank you Rachel! I've picked my skin for so many years, later years my legs and they are full of scars. It's not even that there's a ingrown hair or anything from the beginning, i just pick at my skin. I do this when I'm stressed, i can sit for 45min-1h just staring at my skin, picking, often with a flashlight for better view of my non-existing "imperfections". I never knew this was a disorder, I was just ashamed thinking it's just me.
I think I'm lucky that my sister also deals with it--so I never thought I was alone, even if I do it worse on my face and her on her arms, so mine's a lot more visible. Trance-like state is the best way to describe it for me, too. We both started around puberty, still doing it in our 30s.
One of the nice things about this pandemic is that at least when I make a mess of my face I don't feel like I can't go out in public, I can just slap on a mask and hide most of it.
My sister and I also started during puberty. It’s crazy to hear how many people and through this. I never realized
I started in pubity and I'm 50 and still do it.
Thank you for making a video about this, it can’t have been easy to look back on those difficult times. People need to know they’re not alone when they’re struggling with stuff like this 💕
1. Thank you for the video!
2. Thank for always having Kyra on!!! She's such a cutie and I really appreciate seeing her cuddle up with you (especially since all of my dogs are really far away rn T^T)
i'm so happy you feel comfortable sharing this. i personally don't have dermatillomania but I constantly bite my lips and gums - i can't even remember when I first started doing it but it's mainly when i'm bored or anxious. I always kind of thought it was probably an result of my anxiety but never thought to try and stop myself, but this video has made me think about actively trying to stop my behaviour. It's not a bad thing to have any BFRB but I hope that i can channel my anxiety into other coping mechanisms :)
RACHEL….I DO THIS TOO. I LOVE YOU, AND I AM SORRY YOU DEAL WITH THIS. BUT I AM SUPER HAPPY TO SEE IT DISCUSSED!!!!! 💕💖❤️💕❤️💖❤️
I didn't even know this was a thing. Thank you for doing this video, such a detailed one, and with examples with your mental health. I can finally address and understand this behaviour.
Now that I check pictures of myself in diferent periods of my life, it is night and day. Now I must find coping mechanisms to stop doing this.
Thank you so much for being so honest and upfront
I have trichotillomania and it’s been horrible lately. I’m pretty insecure about how uneven/not smooth and shiny my hair is. I would just shave my head but I have a bald spot from when I was a baby lol.
Same, but I pull at my beard so I get these uneven patches of beard and have to constantly trim my beard down and deal with scabs
I used to rip 100% of my eyelashes out and looked ridiculous. I feel you, fam.
I have trich too and I just shave my head now. I have to fight myself to not go grab tweezers to continue to ruin my life....I hate this disorder soooo much
This is so relieving to hear others experiences, because I have just this summer started to realise how much I do this and how bad it gets when I'm at my worst.
Rachel I really, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate you opening up so much about this and informing me that it’s even a thing.
I don’t even know what else to say. Just…thank you so much. ❤️
Thank you for making this video and just at the time I needed to see it. A week ago I made the connection between this issue and my hair plucking as being a compulsion and I've been feeling a lot of shame about it these last few days. I pick a bit at spots on my face, but my main issue is using tweezers and needles to pull (or dig) out my p*bic hair. I'd stopped for a while, but then spent a whole evening doing it last week and when I saw my bare skin again I suddenly noticed loads of tiny scars from previous times picking
i love how you use your platform to talk about alll different important topics, i have a feeling i may have this disorder. but it is only my scalp and i cant stop but only when im stressed/thinking a lot at night, so i dont know if that counts.
I have the exact same thing, thank you for sharing this it makes me feel less alone
I have it, I do it mostly on my face, I do it no matter what feeling I have, it appears to me don't trust me, it sounds like a nervous habit, because skin pickers do it regardless of anything
This absolutely counts! ... congratulations?..
I feel you, as it also mostly appears when I'm stressed and can be fine at other times.
@@GB-ww9ot im stressed p much every day so its become an every day thing for me as im trying to relax in the evening. it sucks doesnt it☹️ sending love
mine started with my scalp and nail-biting as a kid! if it is bothering you, you feel like you can't stop, or it's causing you discomfort, I recommend trying to see a mental health professional and talking about it! it also sounds like you have a lot of stress, so maybe two birds with one stone! (wishing you luck, you're not alone!)
This is such a thoughtful video to make, thank you Rachel! You're so compassionate and I love that. I've compulsively picked the skin on my lips my whole life, I'm 34 years old. Everything you mentioned rings true for me. Anxiety triggers, picking to the point of bleeding and pain, etc. I found lip gloss that I adore YEARS ago, and I am always super well stocked. I slather it on whenever I notice I'm picking or sore, not only does it prevent me from picking but it also soothes and moisturizes my lips, helping to heal them. It's slightly mentholated and minty, so it's very soothing. That's all I've found to help. Thank you for discussing this issue!!
hey Rachel, I struggle with trichotillomania, and Im glad you made this video!! mirrors trigger me too, and I usually have to keep mine covered/away so I can avoid hair pulling. some solutions you suggested sound very interesting, I'll try them out! thank you so much for talking about this :)
Also triggered by mirrors. I’m only able to have them uncovered after doing a lot of (for me healthy) body alterations (HRT, losing weight.) They’re still a problem though :/
This has been an issue for me for the last 9-10 years. Thanks for bringing attention to this!
To the extent of picking at things like pimples, dry skin, and scabs, yeah I do that probably too much. That said, if there isn't something like that to focus on, then in those cases no.
EDIT: jeez I don't think I've had anything escalated to quite that extent, worst I've ever had would be either when I was in school and had some really bad breakouts on my face (I remember once bursting what I now suspect was a small abscess on my cheek, basically it was like an extended pimple over something stretched over like a half-inch or so), or more recently when a pimple or whatever on my leg was a harbinger of a vascular disorder that resulted in 1-2 inch wounds requiring penicillin and bandages (it actually went on for a few months I procrastinated going to the doctor where I finally got the penicillin). Wearing compression socks now and I need to get off my bum and exercise...
I now have a word for the thing I’ve been struggling with for so many years. Thank you for raising awareness!
I have this too. Nice to see someone I look up to talking about this. I wont be watching the video because I've been doing well and I dont want to be triggered. Still, thank you for making me feel less alone
I’ve seen your videos on my recommended from time to time and watched them. This video reassured One a bit, I’m not alone with the struggle that is life. Thank you for sharing this… now, apologies if I drone on too much.
This video hit me right in the feels, and was very awakening to One’s mental health issues. I too, have OCD tendencies and Autistic to boot, so I end up just hiding away from the world because I feel everyone is looking at me and my hideously picked on face. I feel like people think I’m a crack addict whom is in denial. This year, has been particularly bad as I’m fighting to get a diagnosis for the crippling pain I’m in everyday. One of my other family members was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and they have all the same symptoms as me. Coming to terms with this realisation has been so hard.
I’ve had my fair share of shit thrown at me mentally from a very young age. I picked at everything when I was a teenager, because my father would tell me I was the fat kid of the family. I ended up in 2 shit relationships in my early 20’s, and finally I’m alone with my children. Finally diagnosed Autistic (after my children were also) it kinda answers the reason why I never could make any good friends like the rest of my family. I have difficulty “reading between the lines”.
NO WAY I also struggle with this! Haven’t watched the video yet but thank you so much about speaking about this topic!! It takes a lot of courage …
Lol, I’m also a Julia V who struggles with this!! I echo your sentiment !!
@@juliav5621 Haha what a coincidence! Hope we both find a way to deal with this one day! Right now I'm trying to stop by having gel nails. It's harder to pick but sadly not impossible. But at least I stop before touching some of my spots because I know that I can't get to them with those nails. Maybe it'll work for you as well!
Had this all my life. Same thing multiple of my friends. We recently talked about it during a car ride, it was soooo nice to figure out that we all do it. To have someone else describe the experience you have. For me it's anxiety based.
I've been dealing with various types of BFRBs since early childhood and I'm very grateful you're talking about it. I only learned there was a word for it and that it was a disorder in 2020, and it helped me not to feel like a freak for engaging in these behaviours anymore. I'm glad you're bringing visibility to it ^^
The first time a therapist i had told me that my skin picking was self harm, i completely disagreed and thought she was full of shit. It's just popping pimples after all, you're gonna tell me that's self harm? But it's so much more like that... the trance like compulsive state u go into wher you're just seeking dopamine and actively harming your skin and doing something you know you'll regret for hours at a time, multiple times a week or even daily. That's not normal, thinking about it now, it really is self harm. Thanks for talking about this, I could relate to a lot of what you were saying and it just feels nice to hear someone else who understands what it's like and like, hearing some of the same thoughts and actions i've had about my own skin picking from someone else is very validating and makes me feel less alone.
I didn't even realise this was a thing and here I am like, shit I do this! It's so nice to hear someone talking about this. I love your content Rachel! Also have a little black staff! So cute🥺💓
I'm so happy that you're talking about this! I also appreciate the OCD visibility since it is such a misunderstood disorder. It's so difficult to stop picking my skin and has been a battle for 20+ years. But I try 💪🏻
I "cured" my nail biting about 3 years ago. I can still find myself chewing on the skin around my nails at times, but even that is WAY better than before. The best thing I can do is get rid of any snag with clippers asap or I want to chew it off so bad! I did mess up and but a thumbnail, and it took a month before I stopped chewing it and could clean up the snags and regrow the dang thing. I've also been able to stop picking my arms out of shear willpower.
I thought I was just being stupid. I literally do it so much- probably because of my insecurity that got due to my acne. Even tho I don't have acne anymore it's so stuck in my mind, I still do it. I didn't know it was an actual disorder. Thank you so much to bringing this up
I didn't even know this was a thing. I have seborrheic dermatitis and I tend to pick at my face a lot when I'm stressed/anxious. I thought it was just a symptom of my anxiety.
Edit: The lip and nail biting is so relatable too. My lips are pretty much always cracked, chapped and bleeding, especially during the winter time because of the dry weather.
I’ve been thankful for masks for this reason 😳🤪😟
@@edvh88 Haha same here 😷
no way i’ve been struggling with this with so long and felt so alone and embarrassed about it, thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Wow, I’ve never known what was wrong with me before now. One of my good friends has always struggled with trichotillomania and I’ve always understood her feelings of anxiety relating to it even though I didn’t have it. I wasn’t aware of dermatillomania until today. have minor skin picking issues with most of my face, but it’s really bad on my fingers and lips. It always has been. I didn’t know other people did this, and I didn’t know it was common with anxiety disorders. I find I do it when I’m highly anxious at work. I have a highly stressful job that can go from hours of boredom to hours of non stop business. I’m an art student, so when it’s slow I sketch, but when it’s busy And I can’t, I tend to bite my lips under my mask or pick at my fingers. I honestly think I’d be doing it to my face just as much if I thought people wouldn’t notice me in the act at work. Although it gets bad when I’m stressed or depressed, I find the habit persists even when I’m having a good day. For example, I had one of the best days I’ve had in a while yesterday, and I still made fingers bleed several times. Thank you for this video, it’s nice to not feel alone with this habit and to start to figure out ways to curb this behaviour.
Thank you Rachel and everybody in comments etc for making me feel less alone in this❤
As somebody with dermatillomania AND trypohobia, imagine my disappointment when I Google image searched Picking Stones. 😂
I'm really glad they exist and I think the concept is so cool but I should've paid closer attention to your description of them.
wow thank you so much for this. i have been picking my skin since childhood- i have ocd and skin issues on my arms. my teachers used to yell at me in elementary school for picking at my arms for so long instead of doing my work. i feel like a weirdo for this and it’s so nice to see someone talking about it and so many people in these comments saying they relate❤️
Sitting here with a pair of tweezers when this popped up in my notifications. I feel a little called out ☹️
I just put a bandage over the skin near my eye to stop myself from picking for at least a little while when this video dropped 😑
Bruh I turned the house upside down to find a pair of tweezers to get at “imperfections” I can’t get without them 💀
thank you so much for this - i had to emotionally prepare myself for this. i've been picking compulsively for over five years now (i think) and have gone through phases of picking, not picking, getting angry at myself for picking, etc etc. i always feel out of the loop because i don't see them as "flaws" necessarily, i just like the sensation of popping pimples n such? i started picking after i started watching extraction videos in high school. i'm going to try to do the journaling thing you mentioned, rachel!! i find that keeping my hands busy really helps (i like to embroider/cross-stitch), but now that i have my own bathroom again, it's gone pretty downhill. appreciate you and everyone in this community for being so open about it
Second comment just to say: We NEED cute Kyra bloopers at the end of every video!!!
I have eczema, autism and anxiety and while that isn't the same thing that you have, I can't BELIEVE just how much I can relate and just... understand what you're saying.
I've never really been able to relate to others about skin issues like this, so thank you Rachel for making this video - the video honestly made my cry a bit.
Came here to learn about a totally random disorder that I saw recommended to me, left here feeling a sense of... relatability in seeing that I'm not the only one going through stuff like this.
I'm so glad to find out there are people like me out here with this!! I have ADHD psoriasis and anxiety... Hi!! Sucks doesn't it! I hope you're doing well :)
TW: Self harm
So it has a name then ?
When I read your post on Instagram I kind of went like „yeah I know that“, and after this Video I do relate quite strongly to it.
I got a over ten years long history with self-harm (and I am turning 21 next month). And my „favorite“ method always was scratching myself, rather than cutting or stuff. And even though I have it quite good under control, I just can’t stop picking when I got some wound or some stuff. If I get a scratch or something like that, I will always re-open it and re-open it and re-open it. I remember when I had a really small wound from a soft air accident, that literally stayed of 8 weeks cause I picked it again and again. I still have a scar on my leg from that, even though it wasn’t a big wound and didn’t even really bleed. I only noticed how bad it was when my bf (who used to self-harm as well) started stopping it whenever he noticed. Until than, I didn’t even get the link between selfharming and picking.
Also I really understand the nail thing. I have naturally dry skin on my hands and therefor often have those skin flaps (English is not my first language, so I don’t know how you call it) around my nails. I always chew them and stuff like that, which of course doesn’t really help it 😂
I don’t really know how to end this, so thanks for reading I guess 😂
I hope you all do good in this strange times!
I've had this in my watch later since you posted it but was too scared to watch it. I'm finally ready to listen and accept this is something I've done for 8 years and your empathy made me feel so much better. Thank you Rachel
Its hereditary. Its OCD. Its NOT SELF HARM at all!! People with this would do ANYTHING to stop and do not seek endorphins or pain. Its compulsive self-grooming. The skin is a complex organ that connects us on a sensory level to our world. Anyway, if you purposefully "groom/pick" it changes your brain and relieves anxiety. It's nothing like self-harming in its nature. 6 direct members of my family have it and I have it. One thing that's been temporarily successful for me was to have my hands manicured and my nails painted with thick polish. I dont cause as much damage.
I didn't even know this had a name. I've struggled with this for .... God, my entire life it feels like. I've had severe anxiety my entire life as well as a deep depression. I could be sitting there picking at the same spot over and over and thinking to myself that I know it's making it worse and it's going to scar and yet I keep doing it. It's something that is almost trance-like in it's effects and a lot of the time I don't feel "right" until I do it.
These tips are going to help me a lot. Thank you for talking about this. I know it probably wasn't an easy thing to do but I appreciate it so much. Sending you so much love and support, Rachel.