i assume (i have no proof im just guessing) that the clip wasa cut for legal or personal reasons and what he actually meant was that he didn't hit and run or wipe the blood off, he tried to help the best he could and get in touch with the family but he couldnt because otherwise why the fuck would the mom forgive him???
Just started the video, but let's hope this person is better than the last guy whose family was surprised he didn't inappropriately touch a female patient 🤪
I still don't see how this was ever an appropriate or even entertaining question like what if the answer was yes? Now all you've done is ensured that I don't want this guy to win money, and it's a loaded question anyway. You don't win by answering at all and I feel like that specific question is just inappropriate unless you're his boss and you have reason to think dude is doing something he shouldn't be.
I'm also hoping that the family during that section were edited out of context. It seems possible that reaction was to the earlier question about falsifying medical records
@@theredazazelle6185 it's also a ridiculous question given that lie detector tests are reliant on the participant's *perception* of the truth. Many predators and rapists think that their violence is perfectly appropriate.
@@aj7058 also it felt like the focus wasn’t the predatory ness of taking advantage of his job and more of trying to catch him as a cheater if that makes sense. It just feels like the motive behind that question wasn’t right at all, but like you said, it was a loaded question regardless of intention
Maybe the kid was playing chicken or something else he shouldn't have been doing. So made up part of the story such as the driver being under the influence or wiping his bumper. Idk, it's just wild speculation of course but we're not getting the full story. I'm so curious.
@@nunpho I doubt the guy at the time when he was a kid was conscious enough to claim the driver was drunk but regardless he still hit a child and left the scene, I don’t need to know the whole story, the cause and effect is all you need
@@nunpho Paul’s mom said she had to rely on witnesses and the police reports since she wasn’t there so I’m guessing that’s where the wiping bumper part came from
@@sayaalicious9146 Isn't that what what said the driver was drunk too? They are probably going off what the boy said. Idk, I'm not sure if he was charged or not
It is worse, but that is how he is removing blame from the situation and himself. It was never his intentions to hit a child. If he had a clear mind he wouldn't have driven or done anything like that. He is trying to hold himself together by blaming his addiction rather than himself, which is how a lot of addict tend to phrase their past mistakes. They don't have full control when they are at that point anymore. Because if they did -- a child never would have died. It sounds like the event scared him straight and it is a pointless tragedy and it sounds like all parties have healed from the event and can now let go.
@@MrZestyOnion She had four husbands and said that a woman should let her husband sa them basically so I'm sure she had a good reason like self defence, sounds like she's been in really toxic relationships before
@@MrZestyOnion i was making up a scenario in my head and it is possible someone was messing with her and she said something like, "if you do that I will shoot you." She could have been stalked or something.
Bringing in the drunk driver is crazy. That could have re traumatized her. Unless I'm wrong maybe "we" meant there were two or more people in the car? Like if the driver was sober and a drunk passenger messed with the wheel thats the only way this makes sense to me. Otherwise Nettie forgives a man who admitted to being sober when he ran over her child which makes no sense.
I understood that he meant him and the son when he said "we", it still sounds weird like it makes it sound like the two had an active part in the accident
Yeah I took it to mean he was also spreading part of the blame to the child. He did every other no-no when it comes to properly apologising and taking accountability so it adds up imo
The trauma part is why this whole thing is so gross of them. Like I get that's what shows we're doing in that time, but holy wow I've been disgusted the exact second it was known they had him on the show. Even the most stable put together human could crack in those conditions and wow, you made the rest of this person's life worse for ever? Congrats I guess???
He did everything he could to get in touch with Paul after running him over, except not leaving him in the fucking street? Also he bingo'd everything not to do when apologising to someone. He blamed the victim, made excuses for his behaviour, dodged responsibility... I don't buy forgiving someone for that unless it was to seem like a kind person on TV
ok but the guy that hit her son never even actually apologized?!! like he just came there to clear his own name and he didn't even address the rest of the family. even if he wasn't drunk and it was an accident, who comes out and doesn't even say sorry? It felt so gross
It felt fake af, that's what it felt like. There's no way a mother would be like "oh so you were sober when you drove away from my son you nearly killed? In that case I forgive you" Hell no they talked before, or it wasn't real, something was staged
I actually really appreciate how hard the host fights every episode for the people to walk away and stop ruining their own lives with answering these questions LOL... Like the money is NOT WORTH IT.
Lol I mean people either come on here because they have super strong healthy relationships that minor bumps can't mess with. Or they don't care about how much they're about to hurt their partner because they just want the money. The episode with Farzeen really killed me. 😭
He said we because he blames Paul as well, he also said he was not drunk he was never intoxicated. So he is denying that he was driving under the influence, he is basically making it out to be the kids partial fault and that they should feel bad he couldn’t check on Paul after he ran him over.
Not to mention - not being drunk means that he, with a SOBER mind, hit a child with his car and then drove away instead of getting him help. Him being sober makes this whole thing WORSE for me.
@UCmgGtHQv0kuXYkpYDAdC9ww honestly same, like you were 100% in your right kind and you committed a hit & run??? Bitch this ain't it. It was honestly disgusted that he said "we" as if he went through something during the accident. You hit a child, my guy, fuck off
It's the hit and run that really tells you everything. It's entirely possible he was sober, driving normally, when suddenly a kid rode into the street and they collided. It happens. So what kind of SICK psycho would drive away in that scenario?? If it truly wasn't his fault and the kid just wasn't looking, why leave him there? There is no scenario in which that man isn't a piece of trash for fleeing the scene.
omg; i've JUST got to the part with the driver and ur absolutely right. Who blames a 9 year old--even partially--for something 9-year-olds do??? Kids run out into the street. And being SOBER, he should've been even more alert and NOT driven away. I feel anger and it ain't even concern me. How he gonna tell em Paul's been on his mind for 25 years and then blame kid Paul??? This is some wild bullshit. It's a pity party barely disguised as an apology.
no because if you came on and said "yeah I hit your kid and wiped the blood off my bumper before driving off but I wanted to clear up that I wasn't drunk" they would have to cut the cameras on me. idk if he'd make it off that stage
Thanks Jarvis for not letting people get away with the victim blaming in abusive marriages. My aunt married a guy who seemed mostly fine and as soon as they got back from the honeymoon he cut off all her financial freedom and it took almost 10 years to get her divorced.
I gotta say she’s way more likable than anyone I’ve seen on this show, she had me forgetting that she said women should have sex with their husband even if they aren’t in the mood.
@@joannamarieart I know I come from a very religious family and I know some of it is ingrained misogyny and brain washing but at a certain age you’re responsible for your beliefs and changing them to be kinder
@@purplemusiclover1597 agreed with all you said 100%. She was very charismatic and the shit they put her through on top of that made it much easier to ignore/forget the shittier actions she admitted to.
No amount of vigilance about red flags can guarantee a relationship won’t turn abusive, circumstances can change and not always for obvious reasons. For example some brain tumours or hormonal disorders make people significantly more aggressive and love ones often don’t get to know why they changed.
Thank you oh my god, I kept watching the person who was originally arguing that you can spot them just continuing to talk and being ignorant for a good while after. Like dude was presented with evidence but literally straight up ignored it especially when Paul brought up the 10 year engagement and they said "see this is what I'm talking about" in context of the fact you should apparently know someone is abusive before you marry them.
And being certain you can 100% spot abusers is a good way to find yourself in an abusive relationship. Doubt yourself and reevaluate your thought processes.
The "old fashioned" marriage part was painful to hear😞 Never feel obligated to do anything sexual for your partner ever, especially when you aren't in the mood! It has serious repercussions; my therapist said the body is likely to process it as trauma
I mean... I'm saying this as just a human being... Doesn't matter if you're married or not, you've at some point been the propogator or victim to what you call "coercion"... If you tell your partner you want to have sex, and they say no, it's your actions that determine whether it's bad or not imo... But I doubt anyone here would say someone in the mood hearing no, and trying to act sexy or engage in foreplay to seduce the other person is a bad person... There's a massive separation from reasonable introduction of seduction and engaging in intimacy, and rape... Nobody should feel like they have to give their body to anyone, but likewise, nobody should feel ostracized and walk on eggshells around engaging with their partner... I feel like some people go way too far in speculation over simple interactions... I personally think both sides should attempt to engage in the others sexual needs...
quick reminder that despite how insane this is, it's still television and almost most *definitely* staged in some way. also, look up Cody's interview with Mark. it really puts into perspective how crazy/uncomfortable this show was for him
The questions are like "Im third grade English class did you blame your best friend for something you did which in turn got her detention?" Its so specific sometimes
i dont think it is. like if you actually think about it? it was an accident. nothing was done on purpose. the thing with drunk driving is that you are WILLINGLY putting other people at MORE risk, therefore it is worse when an accident happens because it could have probbaly been prevented with common sense. that's my drunk driving is such a shitty thing to do that makes you a shit selfish person. that's my take on it at least.
@@bambii-_ yeah that makes total sense, ig I didn't think of it like that. I just found it funny (in a terrible sort of way) that he kept clarifying that he wasn't drunk
@@the_frogs_knees yeah i mean if i was accused of drunk driving during an accident id want people to know i wasnt, but his whole ''apology'' was kinda garbage anyway lol
@@bambii-_ Dude he litterally wiped off his car "sober" and drove away to let the kid die... Also I doubt he was even telling the truth because I'm sure the cops used a breathalyzer on him to determine how drunk he was
I’m still only part of the way thru this video but I just wanted to acknowledge that Jarvis is correct in pointing out the dangers of financial abuse as a corner stone of domestic abuse and very effective tool of control exerted by abusive partners. Abusive relationships can be like you are the frog in a boiling pot-All of a sudden you are surrounded by fire and you have no idea how you got there. Definitely not saying that this is what is happening here but it is good to keep in mind that having your own independent life and self is also not necessarily an indicator of toxicity or failure in a relationship. 👉🤠👉
I don't get why someone even tried calling that a red flag. I would never be offended that my partner would want to feel safe and secure with themselves financially. nobody can predict the future and I respect that.
Also like literally having seperate bank accounts could even help financial situations, because if one person is in deep shit the other can help them out just as much! Having seperated bank accounts really does zero difference other than having the benefit of having an "out" if ever the relationship doesn't work out for some reason. It's literally only beneficial for both parties.
I was shocked by how upset people were because I was like, that’s my financial plan when I get in a relationship Also banks in American only ensure your money up to a certain point (I think 1 mill but it could be lower) so actually having multiple accounts under different names just makes a lot of financial sense Edit: after thinking about it for a bit I could see how keeping this money without her partners knowledge is the bigger issue, not the separation of finances itself. But with her history of marriages and divorces it sounds a lot more of a defense tactic then trying to be dishonest to her husband
@@thetableoflegend9814 I know this hindsight now, but Jarvis in a different video said that hiding finances away from your partner was a red flag himself. So it seems like even he thought about it different later, I think there's a very valid reason to "hide" some money away imo but that's just me.
I feel like the guy that hit her son was lying bc why would the police report say that he was drunk if he wasn't? And if he was telling the truth he still harmed a child AND RAN OFF WITHOUT CHECKING ON THEM!!
EW WHY DID THEY CLAP AT THAT QUESTION. about husband and wife who are like “you should have sex even if you aren’t in the mood!” that’s not old fashioned that’s rape sorry about it
@@eddieisverygay7937 old fashioned is rape? my guy… respectfully I think that is something we should retire. just because it “used to happen” back then doesn’t mean it’s ok. Not that you’re saying that but like man everyone going with the “it’s just old fashioned” feels a lot like when racist people go “it’s just how it was back then” you know?
@@happy80thgertrude25 it sounds like you’re denying that that’s what happened back then. Things like that were accepted back then therefore considered “old fashioned”. Thinking r*pe is ok is old fashioned.
I 100% agree with Jarvis. It’s perfectly normal and okay to have a savings account for incase a marriage goes bad. Yes, I agree that you and your partner should share bills but at the end of the day, it’s fine to have a savings account that is your own. If people can’t see why having a savings account is normal, that’s a them problem. I would be fine pulling from that account for big purchases, vacations, gifts, etc. but at the end of the day, my earned money is my own and I will use it how I see fit. And part of that is ensuring I will be safe if my partner runs out on me, becomes abusive, or whatever.
The comment about recognising relationship red flags and how they arent always as easily noticed as one might think brought to mind one of my all time favourite television quotes, from Bojack Horseman: "When you're seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags are just flags."
I'm with you on the views about marriage and money. I'm married and we share access to all the money and emergency savings and everything. However, I can easily see how other people would not feel comfortable with that situation, especially given their past situations. My dad and stepmom have separate bank accounts since they are both on their second marriage. They still discuss all their spending and budgeting together. I can see why someone who has previously been in an abusive relationship would feel the need to squirrel away money, regardless of how much they trust their current partner. Trauma does crazy things to the brain.
Yes my mom lost her 401k because of my dad and she left him due to emotional abuse good on Jarvis for standing up for people, you never know when you may have to leave
Second question for the last guy: do you not always wash your hands after using the bathroom? Second question for this woman: HAVE YOU EVER BECOME SEXUALLY EXCITED DURING A MASSAGE
I'm so glad she walked out with the money, she seemed like one of the nicest people that have participated in this show, and so did her family. Even if they're in real estate, I hope they're happy
This is the CRAZIEST episode of this show I’ve ever seen. HOW could they bring the driver that almost killed the son??? If I were her I would have said no to bringing him out.
Thanks for understanding Jarvis, as a young woman I was taught by several older women to always have an emergency fund that a man doesn't have access to no matter what. You can never fully know another person's mind, and having a contingency plan is wise and safe.
People out here arguing with Jarvis over setting aside money as an emergency parachute being okay. I'm guessing y'all, never needed it and found yourselves without.
“Yeah I hit your son with my car but I was sober and it was partially his fault and I’ve felt bad ever since” GREAT apology dude did you learn that from watching youtubers’ apology videos?
“for fun I bowl and go to church” question 7 do you secretly worship the dark lord of all who walk, fly, and crawl upon this cursed rock, Beelzebub? “yes 🥰🤗”
21:53 Hearing young guys like Jarvis, Kurtis Conner, Jacob Sharpe be so smart about relationships and what actually matters gives me hope for humanity.
this is the first one ive seen of these that the person isnt outright terrible. she cheated on one of her past husbands and wouldnt marry her current one if he was broke but for this show thats basically nothing
there was no explanation on ANY of her answers whatsoever & shes been married 4 times now. i dont want to speculate on her relationships since there has been no explanation, but many people "cheat" on abusive partners (which i dont think is morally wrong since at that point youre essentially a hostage not a partner anymore, but everyone has their own views on that) & also not wanting to marry someone who is completely broke is just being smart. no one wants to be the sole supporter in any relationship, so wanting to marry someone who has the means to help out at least a fraction of the way is totally normal regardless of how much you love them.
To be fair, if I were in my 40s/50s and a guy I was dating was broke, I wouldn't marry them either. Financial stability in a marriage is incredibly important.
@@Bluebonez thats why i said i dont want to assume, im just saying cheating can have its reasons so its not inherently terrible. just like... USUALLY terrible lol
@@coatimundi69 ah ok sorry I misunderstood I thought you were saying not meaning to then just casually assuming I didn't realize what you were trying to put together my bad
I just want to throw out there that forgiveness DOES NOT mean you are no longer angry, and they no longer deserve justice. If the man who abused me ever came back and said the things that this drunk driver said, and then someone had the *audacity* to say, regarding MY trauma, that everything happens for a reason, you’d have to drag me off that stage by my ankles with my fingernails stuck in his eyes. I can’t believe they would even put her in this position. I feel like she was in shock, and probably went home regretting everything that she said, wishing she’d cussed him out instead. Forgiveness just means that, IF they repent and truly change as a person, you can allow them a second chance at life to be happy in your heart and mind.
@@ZitaM242 agreed. And NO ONE should feel like they have to. But I know a lot of people who are religious feel pressured to forgive their enemies. Personaly, I wanted to forgive because of the strains that it put on my life but I didn’t understand how to do it because I believed the misconceptions that I stated above. So this felt very important for me to share. Being able to let go was one of the best things that happened to my life.
@@KallieMae for me there are some lines that once crossed I will never forgive a person and I am ok with that. I wouldn't even bqt an eye but, that is not for everyone.
Jarvis, you are so correct in saying that a 'secret' emergency fund is OK to keep after marriage! All the smart older women I've met have recommended doing this, and my past experiences (especially those leading to up to single parenthood) have led me to recommend this to others as well. Dont get me wrong, financial abuse of your spouse is NEVER ok! Never! When me and my boyfriend have faced financial hardship, for example, I've emptied any such savings to help both of us both get through it, as partners. It would have been wrong not to do so, at least to a partner who was treating mw well and supporting me, right? Even so, I do start/ plan to start that kind of savings again as soon as each of those hard times come to an end. I'm okay admitting that, 100% I just really appreciate you defending women here! It's not just an issue in extreme situations.... if you are a homemaker or are otherwise financially dependent on your husannd, it's basically impossible to leave without having saved a separate fund, regardless of why you need to leave.
My husband and I were watching this together and we agree with your views of marriage. Relationships are complicated and you never know what could happen. We're continually growing our trust even 10 years and three kids later.
I absolutely agree that married people (especially women) need to have a separate emergency fund. I was in that situation, where all of a sudden I realized that my husband was a stranger to me and he wasn't a safe person. I had a separate bank account that was empty, just because I had forgotten to close it when we got married, and having quick access to that account was a GODSEND. It meant that I could take the money I needed and run.
You can leave the (especially women) part out. Men can and are victims of all kinds of abuse. They just report it less or when they try to are laughed outta the police station. Abuse victims often loose their ability to support themselves mentally which leads to financial problems if they aren’t prepared.
Dude, I hate the idea of this show so much. I said it last time and I’ll say it again, polygraphs aren’t reliable so I’d be nervous that they’d go “did you do something truly horrific” and because their question was shocking during the test it’s a false positive- then I get on stage and say “of course not,” and that shit calls me a liar. Probably one of my worst nightmares lol
Some of the "hard" questions feel like big softballs, because no matter which way you answer you still end up looking good. For example, with the driver who hit her son, if she says she wouldn't forgive him she looks like a protective and loving mother, but if she says she would forgive him she looks like a forgiving, charitable person. Same with the "would you help your mom obtain assisted suicide if she were terminally ill" question -- She can say no because she loves her mother and doesn't want her to die, or she can say yes because she loves her mother and wants to help her die without prolonging her suffering.
I don’t get why if he was sober and so remorseful that he was worried for the son’s wellbeing after 25 years, how come he drove away in the first place? 😐
No no, it’s not because it’s an “old fashioned” way of thinking about sex, it’s because if it isn’t mutually good, it’s wrong. If one partner is uncomfortable during stuff, the other person should stop because that’s morally correct. Forcing someone when they’re not in the mood is really gross
I’m 30 mins in so don’t know if anything will change my mind by the end, but so far I fully support this woman and all her decisions! Edit: wait, no, not the having sex when you don’t want to
There's no way these aren't staged. Everyone they bring on has a soap opera for a life. I think the host has even said he's not sure they're real families.
@@carnuatus Yeah, a lot of these have hardly anything crazy. Half the questions for the women tend to just be stuff like "have you ever had sex?" Many other questions in general just involve cheating or having "sexual fantasies"
He used “we” and emphasized it in order to not actually admit blame and act as if both parties were equally at fault. “If what you’re saying is true I totally forgive you” he said he was fully aware of his actions, after thinking he was inebriated she’s like oh ok that’s better, is it???! Like there was no clarification on whether or not he wiped his bumper and drove off, all he said was when the accident happened he wasn’t drunk and that after he felt guilty, well shlt, he should so what’s the difference. Also she did say the info came from both the report and the witnesses yk?
The fact that the chat started going crazy before they brought out the driver is completely understandable because that's crazy, probably staged but still crazy
Maybe this is me just looking to far into it, but with the white man they asked him questions about himself. But with the black woman they ask her about her sexual activities and if she's violent. But idk
No cause I noticed this like four questions in because of how many sexual questions there were compared to the EMT, I was like damn there's so many but it honestly is definitely cause she's a woman. You see the same thing in interviews with female and male celebrities
RE: prenups. Morally, you are also not giving your spouse a temptation to divorce you for your money or steal or wtvr. Or visa versa. It doesn't have to mean you don't love and trust each other.
I love how they say something that is gonna f up their entire life and then there's a dramatic pause like it might not be true....obviously they would only say that if it was true
As a 34yo Brit, I really appreciate the VODs being on UA-cam, thanks! Perfect for binge watching. But your ADHD plus mine means it takes me hours to watch them, it's a good way to stretch out the binge!
I mean I don't get the car accident guy thing, like did she not witness it and that's why paul (or whatever his name is) asked if she was like sure that those were the events? But like if he wasn't drunk or intoxicated that doesn't make it better 😭 idk I think the really like bad part is that the mom just changed her mind after hearing that he wanted to apologize, just felt very staged
I feel like this is the type of family that will talk about this, but like actually try to understand each other and why Nettie answered the way she did, unlike the shouting matches/toxic discussions that probably came from some of the other contestants and their families
Some of that was rediculous like the deadly weapon thing, I woke up from a nap to people in my store room once and I grabbed a butcher knife but that doesnt mean I killed someone
I was told I need to still say yes to my wife cause I might get into it once it gets going... meanwhile I'm working the 9-5, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals and our kid. She complained I argued about dirty dishes
@@aj7058 we're divorced. I happily pay my spousal and child support. I talk with our kid every day and travel to see her once a month. The ex gets a good home cooked meal then and realizes what she missed😘
yeah, exactly. When I saw that comment it really bummed me out, hearing him address it directly like that was really nice. Bummer that there are people who genuinely hold those beliefs though. It makes me feel so embarrassed to talk about any of my experiences.
I just got married, been with the same person for 11 years prior, and we both agreed years ago that we should keep some of our finances separate just for our own safety and in case something happens. We still have a joint bank account but we just keep separate personal accounts. In my opinion it’s honestly kind of a red flag if someone is adamant that you must join all of your finances.
the fact that she was up there at first like "yes i am very traditional, wives are for their husbands, take the hit for him etc" then five seconds later "yes i have hidden money, yes i've had surgery he doesn't know about, yes i talk to ex husands without telling him" i mean none of these things are bad at all depending on context but suddenly we're not so traditional huh...... im so happy she got that money and got out of there but who told her that growing up?? awful
I feel like there are situations where a separate emergency fund would be invaluable that don't have anything to do with abuse or manipulation... what if your spouse develops a gambling addiction, for instance? That can completely sneak up on people unnoticed by those around them. I'd say it's better to have the separate account(s) just right out the gate than to either lose the money or only make the emergency account once things are already going downhill, which would probably have repercussions for the relationship.
Also, for the record. I had a fatal car accident in 2016. My father was killed on impact and without medical attention, I would've bled out. Our accident ended up on the news. I never watched it myself, but a lot of people found out because of it. It wouldn't be surprising if there were a newspaper article about it. All you need are names and a date and information like that can be easier to get ahold of than you'd think (depending on the state and severity of the accident). I almost broke down watching that part of the video, because my father died trying to save others and sometimes it feels like everyone involved tries to make him less than a human being. Yes, it was technically an accident, but the person who hit us was in the wrong, caught on highway surveillance cameras. So it can be tough in situations like that. It's messed up what people are willing to do for views, but also what does it say about us, who consumes this material? Have a nice day, everyone.
I feel like many people are pressured into forgiving others (I have been before as well), but it is totally ok and valid to never forgive someone, especially when they did unspeakable things to yourself or loved ones. Nobody should be forced to forgive an abuser, a person that hurt yourself or others, a criminal, etc. Let yourself be upset, don't make yourself be ok when you aren't.
That “do you keep a stash of money just in case things go bad with your husband” question….the fact people reacted to that as though it’s wrong… Everyone should have money they can access for themselves.
In the MOT video with Jeff, everybody including Jarvis ragged on him for hiding his finances away + a lot of the comments were about how that was a red flag. I get that people didn't like him, but it was a very similar premise of "well they might've been screwed over in this past", seeing the contradiction is so jarring. I think that overall hiding finances, as long as it doesn't come at the cost of anybody else's wellbeing, is literally the least harmful thing you could do in a relationship. It's weird to me that people even thought negatively about it at all tbh.
"Everything you've heard about me is a lie. There was no accident. I was stone cold sober and I hit that kid on purpose."
"IF THAT'S THE TRUTH THEN I FORGIVE YOU"
i assume (i have no proof im just guessing) that the clip wasa cut for legal or personal reasons and what he actually meant was that he didn't hit and run or wipe the blood off, he tried to help the best he could and get in touch with the family but he couldnt
because otherwise why the fuck would the mom forgive him???
@@click6339 to seem like a good person/forgive herself
@@click6339 i feel like if he actually wanted to get in touch it wouldn't have been hard to track the family down.
I hope Paul is wearing the sunglasses for no other reason than they make him look fly as fuck
yeah, why else would you wear sunglasses? Not bc of the sun, he’s a cool guy
He literally looks so cool
no fr
We Stan Paul
@@Tw0Dots but he unironically looks cool as fuck
“are you a planner?”
“yeah I’d say so?”
“have you ever planned the murder of your husband?”
Yes
_That answer is correct._
*audience cheers*
And then she does the arm pump that he does for every other question
"so, you consider yourself a bit of a shopaholic yea? hahahaha...have YOU ever killed a man and buried him in your garden?"
@domovoi butler ah yes. The very different question they give instead 💀
@domovoi butler IM DYING 💀💀
@@click6339 Are you the one in the yard?
Just started the video, but let's hope this person is better than the last guy whose family was surprised he didn't inappropriately touch a female patient 🤪
I still don't see how this was ever an appropriate or even entertaining question like what if the answer was yes? Now all you've done is ensured that I don't want this guy to win money, and it's a loaded question anyway. You don't win by answering at all and I feel like that specific question is just inappropriate unless you're his boss and you have reason to think dude is doing something he shouldn't be.
I'm also hoping that the family during that section were edited out of context. It seems possible that reaction was to the earlier question about falsifying medical records
@@theredazazelle6185 it's also a ridiculous question given that lie detector tests are reliant on the participant's *perception* of the truth. Many predators and rapists think that their violence is perfectly appropriate.
@@aj7058 Good point, most people don’t realize that polygraph tests aren’t admissible in court because they’re not lie detectors.
@@aj7058 also it felt like the focus wasn’t the predatory ness of taking advantage of his job and more of trying to catch him as a cheater if that makes sense. It just feels like the motive behind that question wasn’t right at all, but like you said, it was a loaded question regardless of intention
The driver literally came out with the attitude of “this accident where I almost killed him was between the child and I, stay out of it lady”
Maybe the kid was playing chicken or something else he shouldn't have been doing. So made up part of the story such as the driver being under the influence or wiping his bumper. Idk, it's just wild speculation of course but we're not getting the full story. I'm so curious.
@@nunpho I doubt the guy at the time when he was a kid was conscious enough to claim the driver was drunk but regardless he still hit a child and left the scene, I don’t need to know the whole story, the cause and effect is all you need
@@manticorephoenix oh yeah, I totally agree. I'm not the best at describing things, I was just trying to figure out why they were acting so strange.
@@nunpho Paul’s mom said she had to rely on witnesses and the police reports since she wasn’t there so I’m guessing that’s where the wiping bumper part came from
@@sayaalicious9146 Isn't that what what said the driver was drunk too? They are probably going off what the boy said. Idk, I'm not sure if he was charged or not
The fact that the man said he wasn't intoxicated as if that doesn't make it a thousand times WORSE???
That’s exactly what I said like he was completely in his right mind and did this anyway
It is worse, but that is how he is removing blame from the situation and himself.
It was never his intentions to hit a child. If he had a clear mind he wouldn't have driven or done anything like that.
He is trying to hold himself together by blaming his addiction rather than himself, which is how a lot of addict tend to phrase their past mistakes. They don't have full control when they are at that point anymore. Because if they did -- a child never would have died.
It sounds like the event scared him straight and it is a pointless tragedy and it sounds like all parties have healed from the event and can now let go.
@@Nigarj he’s not blaming anything on addiction? He said he was completely sober during the accident.
@@Nigarj Right except that’s literally the opposite of what happened
My only guess is that is him trying to hold himself accountable and be honest??? But, uh... yikes.
the questions going from "did you get a nice engagement ring?" to "have you threatened someone with a deadly weapon?" 💀
I’m still hung up on that! Just goes by with NO explanation?? What the fuck that’s an actual crime?!?
@@MrZestyOnion straight up I was sitting there like did this women just admit to doing a crime on live tv😳
THANK YOU I was fully tripping that apparently nobody else seemed to have any feelings about such a wild jump between questions 😳🤷♀
@@MrZestyOnion She had four husbands and said that a woman should let her husband sa them basically so I'm sure she had a good reason like self defence, sounds like she's been in really toxic relationships before
@@MrZestyOnion i was making up a scenario in my head and it is possible someone was messing with her and she said something like, "if you do that I will shoot you." She could have been stalked or something.
??am i missing something? “just to set the record straight - I committed that hit and run totally sober”
“ooooh okay makes sense I forgive you”
Bringing in the drunk driver is crazy. That could have re traumatized her. Unless I'm wrong maybe "we" meant there were two or more people in the car? Like if the driver was sober and a drunk passenger messed with the wheel thats the only way this makes sense to me. Otherwise Nettie forgives a man who admitted to being sober when he ran over her child which makes no sense.
I understood that he meant him and the son when he said "we", it still sounds weird like it makes it sound like the two had an active part in the accident
Yeah I took it to mean he was also spreading part of the blame to the child. He did every other no-no when it comes to properly apologising and taking accountability so it adds up imo
The trauma part is why this whole thing is so gross of them. Like I get that's what shows we're doing in that time, but holy wow I've been disgusted the exact second it was known they had him on the show.
Even the most stable put together human could crack in those conditions and wow, you made the rest of this person's life worse for ever? Congrats I guess???
He did everything he could to get in touch with Paul after running him over, except not leaving him in the fucking street?
Also he bingo'd everything not to do when apologising to someone. He blamed the victim, made excuses for his behaviour, dodged responsibility... I don't buy forgiving someone for that unless it was to seem like a kind person on TV
this was absolutely insane. “i was not drunk. i was not intoxicated” wtf?????? he still hit a child. and then they forgive him???? no way
You know they beat his ass after the show 😭
If anything that makes it even worse
@@madisonthegreat44 LMFAOO the whole family and the host seek him out and jump him the second the cameras stop rolling
@@qwirt8204 yeah honestly, who in their right mind thinks that’s okay?
Also that he didn't dispute getting out of the car and wiping away the dying child's blood before leaving the scene.
ok but the guy that hit her son never even actually apologized?!! like he just came there to clear his own name and he didn't even address the rest of the family. even if he wasn't drunk and it was an accident, who comes out and doesn't even say sorry? It felt so gross
It felt fake af, that's what it felt like. There's no way a mother would be like "oh so you were sober when you drove away from my son you nearly killed? In that case I forgive you" Hell no they talked before, or it wasn't real, something was staged
@@Hip.Username imo she prob felt pressured to since tv and 2008
I actually really appreciate how hard the host fights every episode for the people to walk away and stop ruining their own lives with answering these questions LOL... Like the money is NOT WORTH IT.
I know right, sometimes it feels like he’s the only sane person in the room
if you watch his interview with cody ko and kelsey, he was actually never into the show, he was a last minute host replacement iirc
Lol I mean people either come on here because they have super strong healthy relationships that minor bumps can't mess with.
Or they don't care about how much they're about to hurt their partner because they just want the money.
The episode with Farzeen really killed me. 😭
Mark is a good guy. I knew him a few years before this show when I was under 10. Super charismatic and nice person. Hope he’s doing well these days.
The sunglasses make every reaction Paul has so much better.
"Have you ever threatened someone with a bowling ball at church" LMAO
Who hasn’t Tbf 😪🤚
@@madisonthegreat44 We've all been there
The fact I actually have is hilarious to me
well i know what i'm doing this christmas eve when i get dragged to church service
@@annahs.channel >Says that has threatened someone at church with a bowling ball
>Refuses to elaborate further
>Leaves
He said we because he blames Paul as well, he also said he was not drunk he was never intoxicated. So he is denying that he was driving under the influence, he is basically making it out to be the kids partial fault and that they should feel bad he couldn’t check on Paul after he ran him over.
Not to mention - not being drunk means that he, with a SOBER mind, hit a child with his car and then drove away instead of getting him help. Him being sober makes this whole thing WORSE for me.
@UCmgGtHQv0kuXYkpYDAdC9ww honestly same, like you were 100% in your right kind and you committed a hit & run??? Bitch this ain't it. It was honestly disgusted that he said "we" as if he went through something during the accident. You hit a child, my guy, fuck off
It's the hit and run that really tells you everything. It's entirely possible he was sober, driving normally, when suddenly a kid rode into the street and they collided. It happens. So what kind of SICK psycho would drive away in that scenario?? If it truly wasn't his fault and the kid just wasn't looking, why leave him there? There is no scenario in which that man isn't a piece of trash for fleeing the scene.
omg; i've JUST got to the part with the driver and ur absolutely right. Who blames a 9 year old--even partially--for something 9-year-olds do??? Kids run out into the street. And being SOBER, he should've been even more alert and NOT driven away. I feel anger and it ain't even concern me. How he gonna tell em Paul's been on his mind for 25 years and then blame kid Paul??? This is some wild bullshit. It's a pity party barely disguised as an apology.
@@mangoslormpy7618 But 9 year olds shouldn't do that. So yes, they do get partially blamed for something that they shouldn't be doing.
Have you ever threatened someone with a deadly weapon?
Yes THAT ANSWER IS TRUE
Cheers from the audience
I mean sometimes you have to
@@leavemealonethx i thought there was going to be a twist where she had pulled a gun on the guy who hit her son with the car
what can i say, we love to see a girlboss winning
Merica fuck ya
Yeah like atleast explain yourself
no because if you came on and said "yeah I hit your kid and wiped the blood off my bumper before driving off but I wanted to clear up that I wasn't drunk" they would have to cut the cameras on me. idk if he'd make it off that stage
Thanks Jarvis for not letting people get away with the victim blaming in abusive marriages. My aunt married a guy who seemed mostly fine and as soon as they got back from the honeymoon he cut off all her financial freedom and it took almost 10 years to get her divorced.
I gotta say she’s way more likable than anyone I’ve seen on this show, she had me forgetting that she said women should have sex with their husband even if they aren’t in the mood.
A LOT of women believe that :/ Especially in religious circles. It's a massive problem honestly
@@joannamarieart I know I come from a very religious family and I know some of it is ingrained misogyny and brain washing but at a certain age you’re responsible for your beliefs and changing them to be kinder
@@joannamarieart tmw women are so used to being oppressed they oppress themselves 😔
@@purplemusiclover1597 agreed with all you said 100%. She was very charismatic and the shit they put her through on top of that made it much easier to ignore/forget the shittier actions she admitted to.
@@GamerSisters exactly
Changes needs to be outside and in
No amount of vigilance about red flags can guarantee a relationship won’t turn abusive, circumstances can change and not always for obvious reasons. For example some brain tumours or hormonal disorders make people significantly more aggressive and love ones often don’t get to know why they changed.
Also, technically speaking, everyone has “red flags.”
We all have issues.
Thank you oh my god, I kept watching the person who was originally arguing that you can spot them just continuing to talk and being ignorant for a good while after. Like dude was presented with evidence but literally straight up ignored it especially when Paul brought up the 10 year engagement and they said "see this is what I'm talking about" in context of the fact you should apparently know someone is abusive before you marry them.
And being certain you can 100% spot abusers is a good way to find yourself in an abusive relationship. Doubt yourself and reevaluate your thought processes.
There are also people that are nice until the other is stuck with them, trapping them into an abusive relationship
@@imagoat273 Yeah abusive/manipulative people love to trap people. Marriage and pregnancy are great ways to do that.
The "old fashioned" marriage part was painful to hear😞
Never feel obligated to do anything sexual for your partner ever, especially when you aren't in the mood!
It has serious repercussions; my therapist said the body is likely to process it as trauma
For sure, coercion is not consent.
Honestly it really hurts to see that Jarvis will defend rapey views if the person saying them is charismatic enough.
@@esaelisa423 I didn’t read it as him defending her, just avoiding the topic to avoid controversy. Still not the best.
@@esaelisa423 How can you interpret his response as him defending it????? he clearly thinks its not ok but its a product of the time
I mean... I'm saying this as just a human being... Doesn't matter if you're married or not, you've at some point been the propogator or victim to what you call "coercion"...
If you tell your partner you want to have sex, and they say no, it's your actions that determine whether it's bad or not imo... But I doubt anyone here would say someone in the mood hearing no, and trying to act sexy or engage in foreplay to seduce the other person is a bad person...
There's a massive separation from reasonable introduction of seduction and engaging in intimacy, and rape... Nobody should feel like they have to give their body to anyone, but likewise, nobody should feel ostracized and walk on eggshells around engaging with their partner... I feel like some people go way too far in speculation over simple interactions...
I personally think both sides should attempt to engage in the others sexual needs...
quick reminder that despite how insane this is, it's still television and almost most *definitely* staged in some way. also, look up Cody's interview with Mark. it really puts into perspective how crazy/uncomfortable this show was for him
Yeah mark didn't even want to do the show if I remember correctly? And like what good person would
Yea, her responses felt so staged. They needed a good finale, they got a great family & questions.
@CloudNIN420 i agree completely!!
The questions are like "Im third grade English class did you blame your best friend for something you did which in turn got her detention?"
Its so specific sometimes
@domovoi butler mark after every question: please god leave. Please take the money and go home. Please.
"I was not drunk, I was never intoxicated." Okay, but that's worse. You get how that's worse, right??
i really dont think he does LMAO... what an awful person. shouldve been him on the chair, but i wouldnt want him to make a single $
i dont think it is. like if you actually think about it? it was an accident. nothing was done on purpose. the thing with drunk driving is that you are WILLINGLY putting other people at MORE risk, therefore it is worse when an accident happens because it could have probbaly been prevented with common sense. that's my drunk driving is such a shitty thing to do that makes you a shit selfish person.
that's my take on it at least.
@@bambii-_ yeah that makes total sense, ig I didn't think of it like that. I just found it funny (in a terrible sort of way) that he kept clarifying that he wasn't drunk
@@the_frogs_knees yeah i mean if i was accused of drunk driving during an accident id want people to know i wasnt, but his whole ''apology'' was kinda garbage anyway lol
@@bambii-_ Dude he litterally wiped off his car "sober" and drove away to let the kid die... Also I doubt he was even telling the truth because I'm sure the cops used a breathalyzer on him to determine how drunk he was
The problem with this show is that the questions are so specific, so they ask a question and you know the answer is gonna be yes
Hold up. THEY BROUGHT OUT THE DRIVER THAT RAN OVER HER SON????? WHAT????? WHY?????
And the fucker basically blamed the son for it and shit
When he said "Are you a planner" I really thought the question was gonna be "Was the murder of your ex husband REALLY an accident?"
I’m still only part of the way thru this video but I just wanted to acknowledge that Jarvis is correct in pointing out the dangers of financial abuse as a corner stone of domestic abuse and very effective tool of control exerted by abusive partners. Abusive relationships can be like you are the frog in a boiling pot-All of a sudden you are surrounded by fire and you have no idea how you got there. Definitely not saying that this is what is happening here but it is good to keep in mind that having your own independent life and self is also not necessarily an indicator of toxicity or failure in a relationship. 👉🤠👉
I don't get why someone even tried calling that a red flag. I would never be offended that my partner would want to feel safe and secure with themselves financially. nobody can predict the future and I respect that.
Also like literally having seperate bank accounts could even help financial situations, because if one person is in deep shit the other can help them out just as much! Having seperated bank accounts really does zero difference other than having the benefit of having an "out" if ever the relationship doesn't work out for some reason. It's literally only beneficial for both parties.
I was shocked by how upset people were because I was like, that’s my financial plan when I get in a relationship
Also banks in American only ensure your money up to a certain point (I think 1 mill but it could be lower) so actually having multiple accounts under different names just makes a lot of financial sense
Edit: after thinking about it for a bit I could see how keeping this money without her partners knowledge is the bigger issue, not the separation of finances itself. But with her history of marriages and divorces it sounds a lot more of a defense tactic then trying to be dishonest to her husband
@@thetableoflegend9814 I know this hindsight now, but Jarvis in a different video said that hiding finances away from your partner was a red flag himself. So it seems like even he thought about it different later, I think there's a very valid reason to "hide" some money away imo but that's just me.
Hidden Leaf Drip maybe he educated himself, it definitely may seem like a red flag if you don’t know why people do it or why it’s justified.
that guy wiping the blood off the car and driving away is so fucked up i hope paul is doing well today he seems like a nice guy
I feel like the guy that hit her son was lying bc why would the police report say that he was drunk if he wasn't? And if he was telling the truth he still harmed a child AND RAN OFF WITHOUT CHECKING ON THEM!!
it's almost worse tbh.... like drunk driving is terrible but saying "I did a hit and run on a child and was 100% was not drunk" is... bad
@@beepatpen exactly!!!
EW WHY DID THEY CLAP AT THAT QUESTION. about husband and wife who are like “you should have sex even if you aren’t in the mood!”
that’s not old fashioned that’s rape sorry about it
Yes it’s rape but it is still an old fashion ideology
It's 2008 mate, it's just 13 years ago but it's great that these kind of things are taken seriously now
that is kind of what old fashion is though sadly
@@eddieisverygay7937 old fashioned is rape? my guy… respectfully I think that is something we should retire. just because it “used to happen” back then doesn’t mean it’s ok.
Not that you’re saying that but like man everyone going with the “it’s just old fashioned” feels a lot like when racist people go “it’s just how it was back then” you know?
@@happy80thgertrude25 it sounds like you’re denying that that’s what happened back then. Things like that were accepted back then therefore considered “old fashioned”. Thinking r*pe is ok is old fashioned.
I 100% agree with Jarvis. It’s perfectly normal and okay to have a savings account for incase a marriage goes bad. Yes, I agree that you and your partner should share bills but at the end of the day, it’s fine to have a savings account that is your own. If people can’t see why having a savings account is normal, that’s a them problem. I would be fine pulling from that account for big purchases, vacations, gifts, etc. but at the end of the day, my earned money is my own and I will use it how I see fit. And part of that is ensuring I will be safe if my partner runs out on me, becomes abusive, or whatever.
"We're gonna talk about that on the ride home" the show
The comment about recognising relationship red flags and how they arent always as easily noticed as one might think brought to mind one of my all time favourite television quotes, from Bojack Horseman: "When you're seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags are just flags."
I'm with you on the views about marriage and money. I'm married and we share access to all the money and emergency savings and everything. However, I can easily see how other people would not feel comfortable with that situation, especially given their past situations. My dad and stepmom have separate bank accounts since they are both on their second marriage. They still discuss all their spending and budgeting together. I can see why someone who has previously been in an abusive relationship would feel the need to squirrel away money, regardless of how much they trust their current partner. Trauma does crazy things to the brain.
Yes my mom lost her 401k because of my dad and she left him due to emotional abuse good on Jarvis for standing up for people, you never know when you may have to leave
As someone who works at a bank, I've seen enough cases where one person takes all the money and runs, leaving the other with nothing.
trauma or not i guess it just depends on the couple whether they want separatebank accs or not i think
Second question for the last guy: do you not always wash your hands after using the bathroom?
Second question for this woman: HAVE YOU EVER BECOME SEXUALLY EXCITED DURING A MASSAGE
i mean i honestly think the first one is worse
the second one could just be funny depending on the context the first one is just disgusting
When that was the swcond question, I knew the other questions would be crazy
Tbf the other guy was an emt, it's a more relevant question for him
I'm so glad she walked out with the money, she seemed like one of the nicest people that have participated in this show, and so did her family. Even if they're in real estate, I hope they're happy
This is the CRAZIEST episode of this show I’ve ever seen. HOW could they bring the driver that almost killed the son??? If I were her I would have said no to bringing him out.
Thanks for understanding Jarvis, as a young woman I was taught by several older women to always have an emergency fund that a man doesn't have access to no matter what. You can never fully know another person's mind, and having a contingency plan is wise and safe.
People out here arguing with Jarvis over setting aside money as an emergency parachute being okay. I'm guessing y'all, never needed it and found yourselves without.
Right! Having no financial independence is one of the main reasons people stay in toxic and abusive relationships.
I honestly expected the host to go "Well you said you'd never forgive him, but you did, so you lose the $100,000, thanks for playing!"
💀💀💀
LMAO SAME. "so you LIED!!!?"
“Yeah I hit your son with my car but I was sober and it was partially his fault and I’ve felt bad ever since” GREAT apology dude did you learn that from watching youtubers’ apology videos?
“for fun I bowl and go to church”
question 7 do you secretly worship the dark lord of all who walk, fly, and crawl upon this cursed rock, Beelzebub?
“yes 🥰🤗”
"THAT ANSWER IS... TRUE"
21:53 Hearing young guys like Jarvis, Kurtis Conner, Jacob Sharpe be so smart about relationships and what actually matters gives me hope for humanity.
Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, BionicPig, Elvis the Alien... There are some good ones out there. :)
Lol Jarvis I am that person who watches all the vods because I can never catch you live--thanks for starting this channel!
“this is not gonna be on youtube” little did he know 😂
this is the first one ive seen of these that the person isnt outright terrible. she cheated on one of her past husbands and wouldnt marry her current one if he was broke but for this show thats basically nothing
there was no explanation on ANY of her answers whatsoever & shes been married 4 times now. i dont want to speculate on her relationships since there has been no explanation, but many people "cheat" on abusive partners (which i dont think is morally wrong since at that point youre essentially a hostage not a partner anymore, but everyone has their own views on that)
& also not wanting to marry someone who is completely broke is just being smart. no one wants to be the sole supporter in any relationship, so wanting to marry someone who has the means to help out at least a fraction of the way is totally normal regardless of how much you love them.
To be fair, if I were in my 40s/50s and a guy I was dating was broke, I wouldn't marry them either. Financial stability in a marriage is incredibly important.
@@coatimundi69 who says they are the abusive ones and not her tho of it was an abusive stance lol
@@Bluebonez thats why i said i dont want to assume, im just saying cheating can have its reasons so its not inherently terrible. just like... USUALLY terrible lol
@@coatimundi69 ah ok sorry I misunderstood I thought you were saying not meaning to then just casually assuming I didn't realize what you were trying to put together my bad
I just want to throw out there that forgiveness DOES NOT mean you are no longer angry, and they no longer deserve justice.
If the man who abused me ever came back and said the things that this drunk driver said, and then someone had the *audacity* to say, regarding MY trauma, that everything happens for a reason, you’d have to drag me off that stage by my ankles with my fingernails stuck in his eyes. I can’t believe they would even put her in this position.
I feel like she was in shock, and probably went home regretting everything that she said, wishing she’d cussed him out instead.
Forgiveness just means that, IF they repent and truly change as a person, you can allow them a second chance at life to be happy in your heart and mind.
Yeah! Her right to not meet this guy was stolen and she had no control, I hate this. Hope you're alright 🌺
Forgiveness is not for everyone
@@ZitaM242 agreed. And NO ONE should feel like they have to. But I know a lot of people who are religious feel pressured to forgive their enemies. Personaly, I wanted to forgive because of the strains that it put on my life but I didn’t understand how to do it because I believed the misconceptions that I stated above. So this felt very important for me to share. Being able to let go was one of the best things that happened to my life.
@@KallieMae for me there are some lines that once crossed I will never forgive a person and I am ok with that. I wouldn't even bqt an eye but, that is not for everyone.
Jarvis, you are so correct in saying that a 'secret' emergency fund is OK to keep after marriage!
All the smart older women I've met have recommended doing this, and my past experiences (especially those leading to up to single parenthood) have led me to recommend this to others as well.
Dont get me wrong, financial abuse of your spouse is NEVER ok! Never!
When me and my boyfriend have faced financial hardship, for example, I've emptied any such savings to help both of us both get through it, as partners. It would have been wrong not to do so, at least to a partner who was treating mw well and supporting me, right? Even so, I do start/ plan to start that kind of savings again as soon as each of those hard times come to an end. I'm okay admitting that, 100%
I just really appreciate you defending women here!
It's not just an issue in extreme situations.... if you are a homemaker or are otherwise financially dependent on your husannd, it's basically impossible to leave without having saved a separate fund, regardless of why you need to leave.
I totally forgive the man who was SOBER who let a child lay on the floor bout to die?? I mean like you can’t forgive someone that fast
My husband and I were watching this together and we agree with your views of marriage. Relationships are complicated and you never know what could happen. We're continually growing our trust even 10 years and three kids later.
I absolutely agree that married people (especially women) need to have a separate emergency fund.
I was in that situation, where all of a sudden I realized that my husband was a stranger to me and he wasn't a safe person. I had a separate bank account that was empty, just because I had forgotten to close it when we got married, and having quick access to that account was a GODSEND. It meant that I could take the money I needed and run.
im so glad you could get out of that situation
You can leave the (especially women) part out. Men can and are victims of all kinds of abuse. They just report it less or when they try to are laughed outta the police station.
Abuse victims often loose their ability to support themselves mentally which leads to financial problems if they aren’t prepared.
@oppaloopa3698 you can leave yourself out of the conversation
does this man not know that him NOT being drunk makes this so much worse..?
The son’s surprised face looks like the Pikachu meme 🤣
Dude, I hate the idea of this show so much. I said it last time and I’ll say it again, polygraphs aren’t reliable so I’d be nervous that they’d go “did you do something truly horrific” and because their question was shocking during the test it’s a false positive- then I get on stage and say “of course not,” and that shit calls me a liar.
Probably one of my worst nightmares lol
Some of the "hard" questions feel like big softballs, because no matter which way you answer you still end up looking good. For example, with the driver who hit her son, if she says she wouldn't forgive him she looks like a protective and loving mother, but if she says she would forgive him she looks like a forgiving, charitable person. Same with the "would you help your mom obtain assisted suicide if she were terminally ill" question -- She can say no because she loves her mother and doesn't want her to die, or she can say yes because she loves her mother and wants to help her die without prolonging her suffering.
This show makes me wanna cry, but Jarvis and his community bring back my faith in humanity while also being unlawfully hilarious.
43:50 I wonder if Jarvis will make that UA-cam archive of his VODs.
The chat is very much "i support women's rights, but more importantly, i support women's wrongs"
I don’t get why if he was sober and so remorseful that he was worried for the son’s wellbeing after 25 years, how come he drove away in the first place? 😐
No no, it’s not because it’s an “old fashioned” way of thinking about sex, it’s because if it isn’t mutually good, it’s wrong. If one partner is uncomfortable during stuff, the other person should stop because that’s morally correct. Forcing someone when they’re not in the mood is really gross
I’m 30 mins in so don’t know if anything will change my mind by the end, but so far I fully support this woman and all her decisions!
Edit: wait, no, not the having sex when you don’t want to
lol
Yeah aside from that one I'm 10000% in support of almost all of her answers. She seems so smart and poised and she's been through some BS
There's no way these aren't staged. Everyone they bring on has a soap opera for a life. I think the host has even said he's not sure they're real families.
Every. single. person’s. life could be unravelled, with the right questions answered honestly.
@@highfae you don't seem to realize how fucking boring some people are. 😂
@@carnuatus Yeah, a lot of these have hardly anything crazy.
Half the questions for the women tend to just be stuff like "have you ever had sex?"
Many other questions in general just involve cheating or having "sexual fantasies"
“God does everything for a reason” well we gotta stop telling Jesus to take the wheel then
He used “we” and emphasized it in order to not actually admit blame and act as if both parties were equally at fault. “If what you’re saying is true I totally forgive you” he said he was fully aware of his actions, after thinking he was inebriated she’s like oh ok that’s better, is it???! Like there was no clarification on whether or not he wiped his bumper and drove off, all he said was when the accident happened he wasn’t drunk and that after he felt guilty, well shlt, he should so what’s the difference. Also she did say the info came from both the report and the witnesses yk?
The fact that the chat started going crazy before they brought out the driver is completely understandable because that's crazy, probably staged but still crazy
Maybe this is me just looking to far into it, but with the white man they asked him questions about himself. But with the black woman they ask her about her sexual activities and if she's violent. But idk
I mean this was what, 2010 or something? They weren’t slick back then
On god I was thinking something similar
@@RemixerUltimate okay, I was so scared that I was just being dramatic but it seems people agree with me haha
No cause I noticed this like four questions in because of how many sexual questions there were compared to the EMT, I was like damn there's so many but it honestly is definitely cause she's a woman. You see the same thing in interviews with female and male celebrities
Yeah you’re so right, I picked up on it too
Realizing I’m somebody who REALLY really really wants to watch the vods
RE: prenups.
Morally, you are also not giving your spouse a temptation to divorce you for your money or steal or wtvr. Or visa versa.
It doesn't have to mean you don't love and trust each other.
The name Netty Nelson sounds like a villain on a Disney channel show
Edit- I think I’m thinking of Nelly Nelson on little house on the prairie
She looks like a villain that's actually more interesting than the main character
"So Paul's a saint" shout out to Paul most def
I love how they say something that is gonna f up their entire life and then there's a dramatic pause like it might not be true....obviously they would only say that if it was true
As a 34yo Brit, I really appreciate the VODs being on UA-cam, thanks! Perfect for binge watching. But your ADHD plus mine means it takes me hours to watch them, it's a good way to stretch out the binge!
I can only tune in with the VODs so having these on youtube is great
I mean I don't get the car accident guy thing, like did she not witness it and that's why paul (or whatever his name is) asked if she was like sure that those were the events? But like if he wasn't drunk or intoxicated that doesn't make it better 😭 idk I think the really like bad part is that the mom just changed her mind after hearing that he wanted to apologize, just felt very staged
At least she's the most normal person
Tell me that its not fake and i wont beleve u, cuz to forgive him so fast and so easy makes no sence and any mother would not have that reaction
Enjoying your VODs, I live in Australia so I always miss the livestreams.
"will be gone forever unless someone is recording it right now" 😂😂
I feel like this is the type of family that will talk about this, but like actually try to understand each other and why Nettie answered the way she did, unlike the shouting matches/toxic discussions that probably came from some of the other contestants and their families
Abusers wait to get abusive after marriage all the time, it’s a classic tactic. Your fans have had a privileged ass life not to know that.
Social anxiety and attention are my drug, I would give anything to do this show
she and her best friend are both so beautiful
Some of that was rediculous like the deadly weapon thing, I woke up from a nap to people in my store room once and I grabbed a butcher knife but that doesnt mean I killed someone
I was told I need to still say yes to my wife cause I might get into it once it gets going... meanwhile I'm working the 9-5, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals and our kid. She complained I argued about dirty dishes
I hope you find a better situation sooner than later. I'm so sorry you've been told and put through that.
@@aj7058 we're divorced. I happily pay my spousal and child support. I talk with our kid every day and travel to see her once a month. The ex gets a good home cooked meal then and realizes what she missed😘
Jarvis defending abuse survivors by calling out victim blaming made my day. Thank you 💛
Also sound advice keep money just for you in any relationship.
Yeah and if your partner is mad about it. Then screw them XD
yeah, exactly. When I saw that comment it really bummed me out, hearing him address it directly like that was really nice. Bummer that there are people who genuinely hold those beliefs though. It makes me feel so embarrassed to talk about any of my experiences.
I just got married, been with the same person for 11 years prior, and we both agreed years ago that we should keep some of our finances separate just for our own safety and in case something happens. We still have a joint bank account but we just keep separate personal accounts. In my opinion it’s honestly kind of a red flag if someone is adamant that you must join all of your finances.
the fact that she was up there at first like "yes i am very traditional, wives are for their husbands, take the hit for him etc" then five seconds later "yes i have hidden money, yes i've had surgery he doesn't know about, yes i talk to ex husands without telling him" i mean none of these things are bad at all depending on context but suddenly we're not so traditional huh...... im so happy she got that money and got out of there but who told her that growing up?? awful
I feel like there are situations where a separate emergency fund would be invaluable that don't have anything to do with abuse or manipulation... what if your spouse develops a gambling addiction, for instance? That can completely sneak up on people unnoticed by those around them. I'd say it's better to have the separate account(s) just right out the gate than to either lose the money or only make the emergency account once things are already going downhill, which would probably have repercussions for the relationship.
For a second there I thought the drunk driver was going to be Bruno, and I nearly lost my mind.
Also, for the record. I had a fatal car accident in 2016. My father was killed on impact and without medical attention, I would've bled out. Our accident ended up on the news. I never watched it myself, but a lot of people found out because of it. It wouldn't be surprising if there were a newspaper article about it. All you need are names and a date and information like that can be easier to get ahold of than you'd think (depending on the state and severity of the accident). I almost broke down watching that part of the video, because my father died trying to save others and sometimes it feels like everyone involved tries to make him less than a human being.
Yes, it was technically an accident, but the person who hit us was in the wrong, caught on highway surveillance cameras. So it can be tough in situations like that. It's messed up what people are willing to do for views, but also what does it say about us, who consumes this material?
Have a nice day, everyone.
Paul is *literally* a saint
I feel like many people are pressured into forgiving others (I have been before as well), but it is totally ok and valid to never forgive someone, especially when they did unspeakable things to yourself or loved ones. Nobody should be forced to forgive an abuser, a person that hurt yourself or others, a criminal, etc. Let yourself be upset, don't make yourself be ok when you aren't.
That “do you keep a stash of money just in case things go bad with your husband” question….the fact people reacted to that as though it’s wrong…
Everyone should have money they can access for themselves.
Shout out to Jarvis for repeatedly explaining why someone might have an escape fund or separate account.
“This stream isn’t going on UA-cam”
Hmmmmm
In the MOT video with Jeff, everybody including Jarvis ragged on him for hiding his finances away + a lot of the comments were about how that was a red flag. I get that people didn't like him, but it was a very similar premise of "well they might've been screwed over in this past", seeing the contradiction is so jarring.
I think that overall hiding finances, as long as it doesn't come at the cost of anybody else's wellbeing, is literally the least harmful thing you could do in a relationship. It's weird to me that people even thought negatively about it at all tbh.
these questions are like
"hey nettie, do you enjoy the park?"
"i guess i do"
"cool. have you ever killed a man?"
That's not what threatening means
Tfw you say that this video won't be on youtube and I'm watching it on youtube.
I feel blessed, man
The closed captions have me cracking up. "That's x42 pole dancers"