Cuban Coffee Almost Killed Me | Gabriel Iglesias

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3 тис.

  • @edelta88
    @edelta88 3 роки тому +1479

    Fluffy: "So Martin and I..."
    Me: "Oh, this is going to be great."

    • @q-tip4723
      @q-tip4723 3 роки тому +47

      All the good ones start like that.

    • @RenamonandLuna
      @RenamonandLuna Рік тому +12

      *quickly pulls out popcorn to munch*

    • @D.Marfice
      @D.Marfice Рік тому +7

      @Erik that's how the good ones always start 😂

    • @goldenwolf8081
      @goldenwolf8081 3 місяці тому +2

      He even told that on stage when he said “Martin and I” crowd laughed then he said “this how you know it’s gonna be a good one” and Gabe was right!

    • @JenovaDreamweaver
      @JenovaDreamweaver 19 днів тому

      Vegeta: Oh-hoho, This is gonna be great. Aaaaand… record.

  • @onedaysai0
    @onedaysai0 4 роки тому +3451

    "why is he yelling" this cracked me up. I remember I had a friend over in highschool. We were hanging out in the living room, my mom and her friend who was also Cuban, were hanging out in the kitchen. My friend got progressively quieter and eventually got the courage to ask me why they were fighting. I burst out laughing and had to explain that Cubans are loud and they were just having a regular conversation.

    • @l6318
      @l6318 4 роки тому +189

      I grew up in a Sicilian household and this exact same thing happened to me a lot as a kid. I guess Sicilians and Cubans are just naturally terrifying...lol

    • @onedaysai0
      @onedaysai0 4 роки тому +45

      @@l6318 hahahaha but we're also fun! It's all about balance. ;)

    • @l6318
      @l6318 4 роки тому +14

      @@onedaysai0 Definitely! :-D

    • @1yabeyabe
      @1yabeyabe 4 роки тому +16

      @@l6318 it's the hand movements

    • @natashagoode501
      @natashagoode501 4 роки тому +58

      Lol the Greeks and Greek Cypriots are the same, and Lebanese. Being one of the few skips (white/British descendant Aussies) in the neighbourhood), walking past their houses it always looked and sounded like they were having domestics. But in reality it was things like Oh my God! It's been so long since I've seen you! Why you wait so long uh?! Come here and gimme a hug! What is this with your hair?! Well it looks beautiful anyway. Come and eat my food!
      And stuff like that lol.

  • @lauracatha3625
    @lauracatha3625 Рік тому +164

    I met you after a horrible injury. You offered me tickets but I already had some. You took pictures with ma and my son. Marten took them to you and you autographed them. You made my son's day. Thank you.

  • @catharineorellana3522
    @catharineorellana3522 4 роки тому +1919

    "I'm not a -ito, I'm a -ande." Jajaja!!!

    • @ultimatebishoujo29
      @ultimatebishoujo29 3 роки тому +9

      Lol

    • @andy56duky
      @andy56duky 3 роки тому +40

      @Repent! you gonna need a grande size holy water for this.

    • @marcodonis6633
      @marcodonis6633 3 роки тому +4

      Ve con Dio'

    • @gmresports4586
      @gmresports4586 3 роки тому +2

      @Repent! Jai shree Ram

    • @gmresports4586
      @gmresports4586 3 роки тому +2

      @Repent! Jai bholenath. Lord Shiva is the supreme god and all gods must bow before the universe boss

  • @Dr_Monitor
    @Dr_Monitor 4 роки тому +7349

    "-a bowl of Cuban coffee"
    As someone who drinks espresso like it's water, this still terrifies me as a concept.

    • @ActuatedGear
      @ActuatedGear 4 роки тому +131

      @Ryuuji Takasu *Distant Explosion*
      MAN WHA'D YOU DO?!!!

    • @MrJohnboy3434
      @MrJohnboy3434 4 роки тому +45

      Why do you think they're Catholic? THEY KNOW THAT SHIT'S POSSIBLE.

    • @landrydekao2919
      @landrydekao2919 3 роки тому +3

      9 Ellos dijeron a Noé: "¿Quieres decir que sólo eres tú quien estás en la Verdad? ¿Y Adán, Abel, Enoc, y ellos todos los que murieron antes de ti?". Lo dijeron esto al Señor Jesucristo, a los profetas, a los apóstoles y ahora es a nosotros como si hubiera dos Verdades. Ellos dijeron "¡Noé! ¿Entonces sobre toda la tierra, si alguien no entra a tu arca, Dios va a engullirle en el Diluvio?". Ellos se reían y se burlaban de Noé. Y lo mismo pasa hoy.
      10 Se ríen y se burlan en sus iglesias, en sus oficinas, en sus casas. Dicen: "sobre toda la faz de la tierra, ¿cómo es solamente él, Kacou Philippe, a quien debemos creer para ser salvado? ¡No! ¡Dios no puede decir esto! El Salvador es Jesucristo. Es Él quien murió en la cruz. Es Él quien nos redimió. ¿Un pecador como tú Kacou Philippe, es que va a salvarnos ahora? ¿Qué esto quiere decir? ¿Dijo Dios realmente esto el 24 abril de 1993? ".! ¡Sí señor, Dios lo dijo! " Lo mismo que María concibió milagrosamente sin conocer hombre, lo mismo que Moisés recibió con detalles lo que pasó en la creación, tú también recibiste las Palabras de la Vida eterna este 24 de abril de 1993 y eso es decretado por parte de Dios. Al tiempo señalado, entenderás y enseñarás lo que no aprendiste para que tenga Vida Eterna cualquiera que cree". [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Dios se lo había dicho a Noé. Dios se lo había dicho a Moisés, Dios había dicho a todos los profetas en su tiempo.
      11 Y hoy, Dios lo dijo por el profeta Kacou Philippe el 24 de abril de 1993.Y si usted es un niño de Dios, es en él, Kacou Philippe a quien usted debe creer para ser salvado. Y si usted realmente tiene el Espíritu Santo, este Espíritu Santo le conducirá a él, el profeta de su tiempo, como un día, este Espíritu Santo condujo Cornelio hacia Pedro que tenía las llaves del Reino de los Cielos. [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Y si usted debe servir a Dios, es hacer el eco de lo que el profeta Kacou Philippe, el profeta vivo de su tiempo está diciendo. Y es la sola cosa que usted pudiera hacer.
      🇪🇸#Descarguen: La ap. "Profeta Kacou Philippe (Oficial)" en Google Play o App store o prophetekacou.es.aptoide.com/app o vayan a: www.philippekacou.org/es

    • @theemperor1782
      @theemperor1782 3 роки тому +50

      @@ActuatedGear took on the Cuban millitary now the un wants me arrested

    • @TheMilwaukeeProtocol
      @TheMilwaukeeProtocol 3 роки тому +19

      Same. I about died when he told that story.

  • @daninb8939
    @daninb8939 3 роки тому +1155

    I once had half a shot glass of Cuban coffee after having a great night's sleep...
    I nearly vibrated out of my skin at work. Finished 3 days of workload in 5 hours.

    • @faiththomas1749
      @faiththomas1749 3 роки тому +50

      Not vibrating out of ur skin like a phone

    • @yass3lon
      @yass3lon 3 роки тому +18

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @karmz1986
      @karmz1986 2 роки тому +11

      I'm literally laughing out loud

    • @msk-qp6fn
      @msk-qp6fn 2 роки тому +13

      Now i want cuban coffee i need it for my work internship and course

    • @Kronosdoesshit
      @Kronosdoesshit Рік тому +7

      Jesus christ

  • @hotdamndan9892
    @hotdamndan9892 4 роки тому +4440

    All good stories begin with "Martin and I..." and we'd be like, oh shit here we go. Lol

    • @tvdwillreign8120
      @tvdwillreign8120 4 роки тому +29

      That's what I think every time I watch this video!! 😂

    • @nhk1472
      @nhk1472 4 роки тому +10

      😂😂true

    • @tonyhodgin1158
      @tonyhodgin1158 4 роки тому +4

      So true

    • @cittrangenericlastname8616
      @cittrangenericlastname8616 4 роки тому +18

      It's like Vir Das and Old Monk Rum. _"So, we were drinking Old Monk Rum... and now my right pupil doesn't work."_

    • @SimoExMachina2
      @SimoExMachina2 3 роки тому +9

      The racist gift basket is also pretty funny shit.

  • @johnthaxton9235
    @johnthaxton9235 3 роки тому +1688

    Im a truck driver and I delivered in South Miami once. While waiting to unload the guy asked if I'd like some coffee. I said sure. He brought me a tiny cup of Cuban coffee and I was like Gabriel, "WTF is this?" I drank it and said thanks. 5 minutes later I got the shakes. By the time I left there I was wired for sound. I drove from South Miami to New Orleans, Louisiana before i came down off that stuff. Holy Shit!!!

    • @JohnH20111
      @JohnH20111 2 роки тому +46

      then you’d be really wired for sound if you tried Devil Mountain Coffee, because it’s got 1,550 mg of Caffeine in it

    • @roughrider4048
      @roughrider4048 2 роки тому +12

      🤣

    • @lalegende2746
      @lalegende2746 2 роки тому +16

      I needed that laugh, thanks for the story 😂

    • @KingMarkus222
      @KingMarkus222 Рік тому +11

      holy shit lol

    • @mikegreen5502
      @mikegreen5502 Рік тому +4

      ​@@JohnH20111 cuban coffee is better

  • @Momo_Kawashima
    @Momo_Kawashima 3 роки тому +533

    As an italian I find it satisfying to hear spanish. I mean, spanish and italian aren't the same, but since they're pretty similar we can still manage to understand each other (unless someone talks fast). It gives you this thing like "oh yeah I can understand this language without studying it, I'm big brain"

    • @mimi_j
      @mimi_j 3 роки тому +26

      Ouu yes! I took Italian in college and the teacher kept saying I would read and speak it very Puerto Rican 😂😂I love hearing Italian

    • @ANSWERTHECALLOFJESUSCHRIST
      @ANSWERTHECALLOFJESUSCHRIST 2 роки тому +18

      As a native Spanish speaker, I LOVE Italian. Sounds so classy and special to me, so poetic and delightful, and I get a thrill when I understand a few similar-sounding words.
      I'm from Puerto Rico and to me we sound so vulgar, because even trying to properly speak Spanish, it sounds forced and unnatural, unlike Spanish from Argentina or Spain.

    • @Momo_Kawashima
      @Momo_Kawashima 2 роки тому +12

      @@ANSWERTHECALLOFJESUSCHRIST I'm from southern Italy, most of us only speak dialect, I feel you for the "sounds forced and unnatural" part, when we speak italian usually we do it with the characteristic accent and instinctively throw in dialectal words. When I find similar words I basically become the Di Caprio meme where he points at the tv

    • @crhiseb3004
      @crhiseb3004 2 роки тому +9

      Same brother, i was watching a video of some italian girl talking about about mountain life and i was like "since when do i understand italian?"

    • @mikegreen5502
      @mikegreen5502 Рік тому +5

      ​@@Momo_Kawashima Spanish and Italian are very similar I had friends who worked in an Italian restaurant and in about 2 to 3 years we're fluent because they knew Spanish

  • @Fsilone
    @Fsilone 4 роки тому +3166

    "That is the only way Cubans can make that swim."
    Audience: **nervous laughter and applause**

    • @Ratchet4647
      @Ratchet4647 4 роки тому +130

      Some of them made that swim, other's parents did.
      Of course, there were a lot in rafts and makeshift boats.
      There's even a story of a man who turned a pickup into a boat and I think its probably in museum somewhere.
      Others made it to Guantanamo or to the Yucatan to get to the border.
      Some who had permits to leave the country by plane never returned.
      That area, if you're not Cuban, you know several.
      Edit: was that unwarranted?
      I just thought to explain why the particular reaction.

    • @alejandrorobles1343
      @alejandrorobles1343 4 роки тому +19

      @@Ratchet4647 I think you're good

    • @Marches96
      @Marches96 4 роки тому +7

      I don't get that joke, could you explain it? Thank you!

    • @viciousrape
      @viciousrape 4 роки тому +53

      @@Marches96 not to be crude but there are some Cuban people who migrated to the states by illegally crossing the border. basically, they swam from somewhere in order to reach the US

    • @elweasel2010
      @elweasel2010 4 роки тому +9

      @@Ratchet4647 IIRC the US Coast Guard sank the '51 Chevy pickup because they said it was a danger to navigation.

  • @greglance7311
    @greglance7311 4 роки тому +6475

    When they drink that coffee, they dont swim across, they frickin run on top of the water

  • @amzarnacht6710
    @amzarnacht6710 3 роки тому +710

    5:00 - Same *EXACT* thing happened to my father on his first trip to Rio. They'd gotten bumped to first class so the service was... well, to be expected. They brought out these tiny cups ("shot glasses", never heard it said better) and tipped them about HALF full. My dad was like;
    "What's this?"
    "Coffee."
    "Really? Then can I get an actual cup of coffee?" With a disdainful look at the two sip in his plate.
    "Okay, sir." Attendant wasn't about to refuse anyone in first class, but was clearly dubious. She withdrew and returned with a standard six ounce coffee mug (actual porcelain! on a plane!) and then filled it up with the same stuff that she had poured into the shot glass.
    Let's just say: My dad came back to the US with a fucking stevedore packed full of brazillian coffee...

    • @Jamhael1
      @Jamhael1 2 роки тому +74

      My friend, we here in Brazil have a saying:
      "Do not be deceived by our smiles. Brazilians are moved by sheer hatred and coffee."

    • @jerrykinnin7941
      @jerrykinnin7941 2 роки тому +20

      I love Cuban coffee. And that clear alcohol made from the first pressing of the sugar cane. My wife and I with our 2 kids were on vacation in Orlando. When to a Brazilian steakhouse that drink came with the meal. It was a Groupon thing.
      I took a sip( I'm the designated driver everyone else in my family was either to young or blonde) I warned my wife be careful with that drink. Her and my oldest daughter had 1 1/2 each. We had to carry my wife to the car. She didn't wake up for 36 hrs.

    • @Jamhael1
      @Jamhael1 2 роки тому +17

      @@jerrykinnin7941 ah, your wife and daughter discovered the famous cachaça, a rum type of distilled alcohol from sugar that we have in Brazil.
      Yeah, it is common for foreigners to always underestimate it, specially if it comes in the form of "caipirinha", a refreshing and sweet drink made from cachaça.
      I stopped counting long ago how many times I've saw them getting hammered because of it...

    • @patrician3821
      @patrician3821 2 роки тому +11

      Watching fluffy talk about Cuban coffee I was thinking exactly about our coffee here in Rio. It is no joke. And when we go abroad it is our turn to complain about the “tea” people serve as coffee. We call it a chafé, a mix of the words for tea ( chá) and coffee ( café). And we really hate it 🤣

    • @sierralovat5498
      @sierralovat5498 2 роки тому +1

      Well Frank Sinatra wasn't lying

  • @hanktorrance6855
    @hanktorrance6855 4 роки тому +374

    When I was a child, no more than 6 or 7 my neighbor's grandfather was Cuban and he would come visit, and when he did he always made Cuban coffee (yes in little cups) and he and I would drink the coffee,mhe always loved me for that, no one else would drink the coffee, so that was our special time . thanks for bringing this memory !

    • @vaibhavgoel9065
      @vaibhavgoel9065 4 роки тому +8

      Sir I am here to remind you of that memory again the way you just wrote that was wonderful

    • @BHuang92
      @BHuang92 3 роки тому +4

      You drank coffee as a kid?!!!!

    • @tainozoku
      @tainozoku 3 роки тому +6

      @@BHuang92 i mean who didn't?😂😂

    • @peachmelba9333
      @peachmelba9333 2 роки тому +2

      @@tainozoku my WASP relatives used to not let me have coffee- yeah even American variety- claimed it would stunt my.growth- I do hope you made it taller than 4ft11 inches.
      That said- at least before I formulate my Bucket List- I want to have An Cuban cofficinta.. if i'm gonna die it might as web- sit with me I assure m

    • @christopherhennessey8991
      @christopherhennessey8991 2 місяці тому

      @@BHuang92 I had Cuban neighbors. They would also mix a drink called Bull …
      A combo of lemonade and beer .

  • @MigPlz91LivestreamOnly
    @MigPlz91LivestreamOnly 4 роки тому +7790

    As a Puerto Rican and Cuban I can vouch for what he says
    That coffee is basically liquid crack
    And fluffy just overdosed

    • @adadrer784
      @adadrer784 4 роки тому +328

      Yeah, I'm fairly certain that Fluffy's lucky his heart didn't explode

    • @HomeFilmminutes
      @HomeFilmminutes 4 роки тому +117

      Well i grow up drinking that Coffe until one day with 14 years i couldn't sleep and i stopped drinking until today and also at that time i couldn't drink our Coffe without smoking habanos with only 12 years .. Greeting from Filipinas my swim was more than a coffe shot hahaha

    • @RichWeigel
      @RichWeigel 3 роки тому +108

      Had a similar experience when I visited Little Havana, Miami. Not a bowl thank God or I would be dead. But I asked for an expresso and they brought me a little cup on a coaster. Then the waiter was like you are going to want to put some milk and sugar in that. Never having Cuban coffee I slammed it down. That little cup of coffee in a 125lb Puertorican guy had me wired and fidgety the whole time I was there. I thought I was going to be sick for a bit LMAO.

    • @landrydekao2919
      @landrydekao2919 3 роки тому +3

      9 Ellos dijeron a Noé: "¿Quieres decir que sólo eres tú quien estás en la Verdad? ¿Y Adán, Abel, Enoc, y ellos todos los que murieron antes de ti?". Lo dijeron esto al Señor Jesucristo, a los profetas, a los apóstoles y ahora es a nosotros como si hubiera dos Verdades. Ellos dijeron "¡Noé! ¿Entonces sobre toda la tierra, si alguien no entra a tu arca, Dios va a engullirle en el Diluvio?". Ellos se reían y se burlaban de Noé. Y lo mismo pasa hoy.
      10 Se ríen y se burlan en sus iglesias, en sus oficinas, en sus casas. Dicen: "sobre toda la faz de la tierra, ¿cómo es solamente él, Kacou Philippe, a quien debemos creer para ser salvado? ¡No! ¡Dios no puede decir esto! El Salvador es Jesucristo. Es Él quien murió en la cruz. Es Él quien nos redimió. ¿Un pecador como tú Kacou Philippe, es que va a salvarnos ahora? ¿Qué esto quiere decir? ¿Dijo Dios realmente esto el 24 abril de 1993? ".! ¡Sí señor, Dios lo dijo! " Lo mismo que María concibió milagrosamente sin conocer hombre, lo mismo que Moisés recibió con detalles lo que pasó en la creación, tú también recibiste las Palabras de la Vida eterna este 24 de abril de 1993 y eso es decretado por parte de Dios. Al tiempo señalado, entenderás y enseñarás lo que no aprendiste para que tenga Vida Eterna cualquiera que cree". [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Dios se lo había dicho a Noé. Dios se lo había dicho a Moisés, Dios había dicho a todos los profetas en su tiempo.
      11 Y hoy, Dios lo dijo por el profeta Kacou Philippe el 24 de abril de 1993.Y si usted es un niño de Dios, es en él, Kacou Philippe a quien usted debe creer para ser salvado. Y si usted realmente tiene el Espíritu Santo, este Espíritu Santo le conducirá a él, el profeta de su tiempo, como un día, este Espíritu Santo condujo Cornelio hacia Pedro que tenía las llaves del Reino de los Cielos. [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Y si usted debe servir a Dios, es hacer el eco de lo que el profeta Kacou Philippe, el profeta vivo de su tiempo está diciendo. Y es la sola cosa que usted pudiera hacer.
      🇪🇸#Descarguen: La ap. "Profeta Kacou Philippe (Oficial)" en Google Play o App store o prophetekacou.es.aptoide.com/app o vayan a: www.philippekacou.org/es

    • @laurafernandez8281
      @laurafernandez8281 3 роки тому +25

      I still one in awhile have Cuban coffee when I really tired.
      I have the coffee maker that you put on the stove

  • @cheezemonkeyeater
    @cheezemonkeyeater 3 роки тому +218

    "You call a Cuban anything but Cuban, you get stabbed."
    Can confirm. It happened to my brother once.

    • @dunga9984
      @dunga9984 3 роки тому +4

      Damn dude

    • @diamonddias924
      @diamonddias924 3 роки тому +4

      WTF DAMN I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

    • @cheezemonkeyeater
      @cheezemonkeyeater 3 роки тому +5

      @@diamonddias924 Well, it wasn't actually a stabbing, per say, but I do feel the reaction was disproportionate to the offense.

    • @diamonddias924
      @diamonddias924 3 роки тому +3

      @@cheezemonkeyeater damn sad to hear

    • @cheezemonkeyeater
      @cheezemonkeyeater 3 роки тому +8

      @@diamonddias924 He came out okay and certainly learned a valuable lesson from the experience.

  • @jeffnaslund
    @jeffnaslund 4 роки тому +5025

    I’m a South Florida gringo. I can attest to the strength of the coffee. There’s a reason meth never took off in Miami

    • @pdb2k154
      @pdb2k154 4 роки тому +175

      Sadly it did in the rest of Florida

    • @keyscored3710
      @keyscored3710 4 роки тому +38

      You literally copied a top comment.

    • @manoftruth0935
      @manoftruth0935 4 роки тому +87

      @@pdb2k154 then spread Cuban coffee instead.

    • @pdb2k154
      @pdb2k154 4 роки тому +17

      @@manoftruth0935 good luck getting Florida man off meth man

    • @cool_cat007smoove3
      @cool_cat007smoove3 3 роки тому +4

      lol

  • @nomadranger2455
    @nomadranger2455 4 роки тому +1198

    Dude I did something similar my first time. They brought out the little cup and I laughed. I said I'm going to need at least 4 of these before I'm set. The waiter laughed and hooked me up. I was working for Time Warner Cable as a maintenance service tech at the time. 30 min latter and I was breaking land speed records for running rewiers. I thought my heart was going to explode.

    • @Darskul
      @Darskul 3 роки тому +21

      LMAO I imagined it and now I'm dying.

    • @mitchpitner3229
      @mitchpitner3229 3 роки тому +40

      Speedy Gonzales?

    • @cybercat29
      @cybercat29 3 роки тому +59

      @@mitchpitner3229 I often wondered what made Speedy Gonzales move that fast and now I know 😅😂🤣

    • @lalegende2746
      @lalegende2746 3 роки тому +8

      I’m dying just thinking about this 🤣🤣🤣

    • @Ambipie
      @Ambipie 3 роки тому +8

      How didn't you feel it upon taking the first one

  • @vantrillo6360
    @vantrillo6360 2 роки тому +49

    Had a similar experience TODAY. Drove down to Florida to visit a friend, whom I haven't seen since covid breakout. It took roughly 10 hours of driving to get down there and I was exhausted. When we met up, we visited a restaurant that gave me a glass of cuban coffee. I'm like, gimme a bigger cup. Waiter took away the glass without saying anything and brought me a styrofoam cup of coffee. I took 1 large sip of the stuff and I stayed awake for the past 12 hours. Haven't taken a second sip since. Gonna save it for the drive back home.

  • @robertfrost8531
    @robertfrost8531 4 роки тому +200

    Had Turkish coffee once. I didn't sleep for a month, couldn't blink for a week, but after the hallucinations ended I could belly dance.

    • @ardabruh1340
      @ardabruh1340 7 днів тому

      Congratulations you found how we reproduce

  • @MinersLoveGames
    @MinersLoveGames 4 роки тому +5252

    Someone posted this on another version of this video and it's so true:
    "Cuban coffee is the reason crystal meth never took off in Florida."

    • @screwthenet
      @screwthenet 4 роки тому +85

      No its cause the cartels were more interested in keeping miami flooded with cocaine since the 70s. The feds too lol o>O

    • @AnyelGarcia_ElCubano
      @AnyelGarcia_ElCubano 4 роки тому +57

      -_- dude tf , smoke weed or take shroms , that shit will kill u , for ur own good stop!!!!!(don’t do hard drugs)

    • @yisroel5556
      @yisroel5556 4 роки тому +5

      Idk if you can be sure about that

    • @harshil9270
      @harshil9270 4 роки тому +4

      this has exactly 420 likes nobody else like this

    • @yisroel5556
      @yisroel5556 4 роки тому +3

      Harshil they did

  • @markhbeardsley5102
    @markhbeardsley5102 2 роки тому +22

    Love this one! Way back in the day I moved to Miami and got a job as a doorman at the Hyatt there. The valet staff was all Latino, the bell staff a mix from everywhere. So I am talking with the valets during a quiet time one morning early on a February morning. Raul was like, "You are new to Miami, you have to learn what makes Miami work! Try a Cuban coffee!"
    So Raul and Carlos teach me how to order a Cuban coffee. Over and over, "Deme un taso de cafe Cubano, por favor." So I walk down the street, parrot the phrase and the dude gives me a 12 ounce styrofoam cup of brown, almost black, steaming hot coffee. And 6 little paper 1 ounce medicine cups. I take both and toss the medicine cups in the garbage can, who needs them?
    So I start walking back to the drive of the Hyatt and talk about sweet bliss! It was like Mr. Espresso had a love child with Ms. Brown Sugar!
    So I toss the styrofoam cup in the garbage and walk up to Raul and Carlos. They are smiling, looking at me, then they look confused and Carlos asked, "Mr. Mark, the cafe Cubano, you did not get it?"
    I looked at him like he was insulting my cultural prowess, and told him, "Yeah, I ordered it in Spanish and it was great!"
    Raul just asked "Un Taso, de Cafe Cubano?" And his eyebrows rose so far they disappeared.
    That was when I thought I might have made a mistake.
    He didn't say "Vaya con Dios!" but I got the hint.
    Oh, what a morning I had.
    The rooms exec came out to introduce himself to me and Raul told him I had just drunk a taso de cafe Cubano. Oddly enough, apparently now my eyebrows had risen so far that they disappeared.
    Everyone had a good laugh. Even I laughed about it.
    A week later.

    • @Alhaneef1444
      @Alhaneef1444 Рік тому

      I drink it like my mommas milk 😂😂😂

  • @Verdugo_Arulaq
    @Verdugo_Arulaq 4 роки тому +1373

    “Mexicans sound high, we drag [the sentence] out”
    As a Mexican (first gen born in the US) I can confirm he’s not wrong.

    • @trabajador_
      @trabajador_ 3 роки тому +12

      Saaaame

    • @ryanhauser3014
      @ryanhauser3014 3 роки тому +7

      First thing I thought of was Cheech and Chong's voices.

    • @Mikey-ym6ok
      @Mikey-ym6ok 2 роки тому +3

      That’s called being American

    • @Rurne
      @Rurne 2 роки тому +1

      Miiiiira gueeeeeeeeey

    • @T0astedR0asted
      @T0astedR0asted 2 роки тому +1

      U aint mexican bruh, you’re Chicano

  • @SuperLadyKing
    @SuperLadyKing 4 роки тому +562

    I love this! Me, my 2 adult sons and 14 year old grandson laughed our heads off. My mom was Puerto Rican, one of my aunts married a Cuban and my grandson’s mother is Mexican 🇺🇸🇵🇷🇨🇺

    • @Trackrace29582
      @Trackrace29582 3 роки тому +26

      I had to read this three times to get the family tree in my head

    • @mayyy4765
      @mayyy4765 3 роки тому +7

      @@Trackrace29582 boii Ur not the only one lmaoo

    • @jonmararbiter0721
      @jonmararbiter0721 3 роки тому +3

      A great combination

    • @BLVCKSCORP
      @BLVCKSCORP 3 роки тому +5

      Why did u have to make me have a stroke, u just could've said your wife is mexican...

    • @Noticccashonly
      @Noticccashonly 3 роки тому

      Just shut up

  • @dylancarroll4623
    @dylancarroll4623 3 роки тому +180

    I can just imagine back at the hotel, Martin walks in on him writing all over the walls.
    Martin: What are you doing?!
    Fluffy: WrItInG jOkEs BrO!

    • @frankt285
      @frankt285 Рік тому +5

      Eye's all wide open...

  • @acetrainer44
    @acetrainer44 4 роки тому +1274

    "You call a Cuban anything but a Cuban, you're gonna get stabbed."
    Only have met a few Cubans in my life, but that is definitely how it appeared to me as someone that vacationed in Florida for a week a few years back

    • @menchacism5327
      @menchacism5327 4 роки тому +27

      As a Cuban this is accurate

    • @Cjnw
      @Cjnw 4 роки тому +8

      The real Florida Men

    • @elweasel2010
      @elweasel2010 4 роки тому +38

      Cuban tend to see themselves as the top of Latino Ladder in Caribbean, Central America. And that was true of the Cuban-Americans. Unlike every other Latino group to came to America. The majority of the people were highly educated. Doctors, Lawyers, Pharmacist, etc This lead to the Cubans taking a lead against say the Mexicans, who were mostly migrate.farmers. Most to by homes, open businesses, highest incomes.
      However if a Cuban picks on you, it means he considers you a friend close enough to take a joke

    • @adelaidaedwards3055
      @adelaidaedwards3055 4 роки тому +18

      He's telling the truth! I'm Cuban and that's the way things are in Miami.

    • @juliovillarreal4575
      @juliovillarreal4575 4 роки тому +5

      I going to Florida in September

  • @johnnycajxrt
    @johnnycajxrt 4 роки тому +4194

    My best friend made that same mistake, he went to a Cuban place, sent back the shot glass, and was given a full coffee mug.
    He said that he didn’t sleep for 3 days.

    • @lalegende2746
      @lalegende2746 3 роки тому +96

      Oh no 😭

    • @AstriLivingInChicago
      @AstriLivingInChicago 3 роки тому +39

      😱

    • @JAYSWORLD300
      @JAYSWORLD300 3 роки тому +76

      same here that stuff is crazy strong but so worth it for me any ways.

    • @rogueraccoon1840
      @rogueraccoon1840 3 роки тому +124

      The gamer fuel we all need we need to harness this power

    • @9Tailsfan
      @9Tailsfan 3 роки тому +102

      You need to try Vietnamese Ice Coffee, The college kids in my area drink this while they pull all nighters studying for exams.

  • @davidalvidrez9452
    @davidalvidrez9452 2 роки тому +46

    Here's one for you. I was in Italy several years ago for a religious event involving the daughters of some friends. There were several couples from Switzerland and we were having diner. Someone mentioned that I was Mexican, which was odd, but a while later the owner brought what was a home grown hot pepper for me to try. I thought no big thing, and as they all watched I took a big bite of it, and I mean big, amused to hear them all gasp, though at the moment it was no big thing to me, but a while later it felt like I had a blow torch in my mouth. Hey, I'm a Mexican, so I sucked it up as if nothing was wrong (got to keep up appearances and defend the honor of my country men). Anyway, I didn't die or end up the hospital, so I made it through the meal (which didn't come quick enough). I swear I'll never do that again, small bites better.

    • @peterhagen6136
      @peterhagen6136 Рік тому +1

      Be thankful it wasn't a ghost 🌶️ or a reaper.

  • @syntonicpaul
    @syntonicpaul 4 роки тому +558

    43 years old. Living in Australia with ZERO spanish influence besides sesame street and breaking bad.. I heard Ocho and instantly knew that was 8 (Go Big Bird!!)

    • @devvytm
      @devvytm 3 роки тому +3

      hahahaha

    • @FezCaliph
      @FezCaliph 3 роки тому +4

      Where all the Spanish speakers at?

    • @jolinejoline2471
      @jolinejoline2471 3 роки тому +3

      Breaking Bad 🔥 😭

    • @jasminepecor6407
      @jasminepecor6407 3 роки тому

      🤣🤣🤣🤣 hell I grew up getting cursed out by moms best friends ( yes I love you Auntie) and I still can't speak a word of Spanish or any other language for that matter. But I definitely know when I am in trouble... my Auntie use very specific choice words then. 🤣🤣🤣 I love you Auntie 😍❤😘♥

    • @DreamBelief
      @DreamBelief 3 роки тому +1

      @@FezCaliph there are some, but they are one of our smallest minorities. It's just because of our history and geographic location

  • @pxrplehalo
    @pxrplehalo 4 роки тому +799

    Am I the only one who can perfectly hear what Gabriel is saying, but still reads the subtitles?

    • @taRomi93
      @taRomi93 4 роки тому +41

      always man, it's like a magnet.I see subtitles and I am just glued to them despite having 0 problems understanding what's being said

    • @jasmine-vl9sv
      @jasmine-vl9sv 3 роки тому +9

      Yes! I’ve come very accustomed to watching/reading subtitles because I watch a bunch of different shows that are different languages

    • @lindaleelaw5277
      @lindaleelaw5277 3 роки тому

      We be learning something

    • @xavieraguila8370
      @xavieraguila8370 3 роки тому +2

      Absolutely not lol

    • @goalie2998
      @goalie2998 3 роки тому +6

      The subtitles are hilarious.
      Speaks Spanish quickly

  • @geckoman1011
    @geckoman1011 3 роки тому +12

    I worked with a unit from the Puerto Rican National Guard and had a translator who had roots from Mexico. We got the real dialect experience. One of the best experiences of my life.

  • @JeniPireX
    @JeniPireX 3 роки тому +162

    "Que tu quiere?!!?"
    "...I forgot.👀 "
    Me. 🤣🤣👌👌

  • @smritirekhasarmahbarhai7621
    @smritirekhasarmahbarhai7621 4 роки тому +2599

    Yeaah boi, he is just making our quarantine period better😄

    • @strawhatrell1192
      @strawhatrell1192 4 роки тому +4

      Fax

    • @Rolatnor
      @Rolatnor 4 роки тому +2

      F yeah

    • @MM-no7gb
      @MM-no7gb 4 роки тому +6

      Different times in different places

    • @matthews1499
      @matthews1499 4 роки тому +1

      True

    • @JB-ko3kq
      @JB-ko3kq 4 роки тому +1

      Ricky Mourad because they probably have this thing where they get to watch the video before it gets posted to us

  • @VladimirTrujilloOG
    @VladimirTrujilloOG 2 роки тому +29

    “Okay! Okay! Manolo, allá afuera hay un goldo que dice que quiere uno cafezote uno problema allá! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Best cuban accent ever😂😂😂😂

  • @adamwarlock4453
    @adamwarlock4453 4 роки тому +1168

    I am learning spanish just to understand the spanish parts of his comedy sessions. I find them envigorating.

    • @alejandrorobles1343
      @alejandrorobles1343 4 роки тому +52

      Keep it keeping on Warlock 🙂 we welcome you to the Spanish speaking community!

    • @KitKat30303
      @KitKat30303 4 роки тому +23

      Just ask in comments and write the minutes, someone will help you.

    • @yamanmustafa7574
      @yamanmustafa7574 4 роки тому +33

      *Invigorating. Don't give up trying to learn English also.

    • @franklyn1581
      @franklyn1581 4 роки тому +3

      Hey man keep it going, the more learn the more u understand trust me.

    • @oscaralvarez3898
      @oscaralvarez3898 4 роки тому +3

      You're doing the right thing brother.

  • @douglascollins3335
    @douglascollins3335 4 роки тому +20

    My grandson and I took a road trip together, and we were listening to Fluffy. It was the first time I heard him. My grandson is 17, and just graduated high school. We left Indianapolis at 9am on July 9th, and drove straight through to Vero Beach, Florida. We listened to a lot of comedy, music, he plays drums, I play guitar, we talked music. It was one fantastic time. So when I listen to Fluffy, it makes me think of our trip together.

  • @tatirodriguez5447
    @tatirodriguez5447 3 роки тому +97

    As a Cuban, I can confirm that everything he said about us, and our coffee, was true.

    • @freedomloverusa3030
      @freedomloverusa3030 2 роки тому +2

      Yeap, every single thing🤣🤣🤣

    • @ofdrumsandchords
      @ofdrumsandchords 2 роки тому +2

      What makes the cuban coffee so strong ? Is it some kind of Robusta like the coffee grown in Africa, or do you just make it extremely concentrated ? As a drummer, I find cuban music more relaxed than brazilian samba or US funk.
      The coffee doesn't seem to speed up the tiempo of the son cubano. But I'll be cautious when I go, I drink Peruvian.

  • @aaron6924
    @aaron6924 4 роки тому +60

    I grew up in Miami, I have been to 8th street. Best Cuban food around. When you said u drank a bowl of Cuban coffee I liked to fell off the couch. Ur lucky to have not ended up in the hospital. I so enjoyed this video. Thank u

  • @iramorsnox6583
    @iramorsnox6583 4 роки тому +555

    For those of you who don’t know what “Vaya con Dios” means, it means “Go with God”.
    Edit: Joustin Carvajal in the comment thread has a more context-based/funnier translation.

    • @butternutter_requiem9038
      @butternutter_requiem9038 4 роки тому +7

      Ira MorsNox yes but the literal translation doesn’t do it justice

    • @jostincr17
      @jostincr17 4 роки тому +78

      Yeah, it could be more like "May God be with you".

    • @iramorsnox6583
      @iramorsnox6583 4 роки тому +15

      butternutter_requiem Half of the time translations don’t do the phrase/sentence justice.

    • @iramorsnox6583
      @iramorsnox6583 4 роки тому +10

      Joustin Carvajal Yeah, though I get slightly irked when there aren’t literal translations for phrases so I just translated it literally. I’ll add your comment as an edit to the original one, to add to the comical value of Gabriel.

    • @nikoo9640
      @nikoo9640 4 роки тому

      check out me and my girlfriends youtube channel 🙏

  • @valiantatom7289
    @valiantatom7289 3 роки тому +56

    I love how when he's imitating Cubans version of Spanish, he sounds like George Lopez

  • @vader.editz.86
    @vader.editz.86 4 роки тому +331

    “You call a Puerto Rican a Dominican they’ll get mad.” Straight facts. 😂😂😂🤌🏽

    • @lalegende2746
      @lalegende2746 3 роки тому +16

      I have some Puerto Rican friends and this is 100% accurate 🤣

    • @vader.editz.86
      @vader.editz.86 3 роки тому +18

      @@lalegende2746 I have a homie that calls me Dominican. Yet we’re both Puerto Rican. 😂

    • @theflyingace611
      @theflyingace611 3 роки тому +7

      As a Dominican, I understand

    • @Alex_Aramayo
      @Alex_Aramayo 3 роки тому +7

      Bro this is just FACTS for all Latinos we all know that

    • @frankt285
      @frankt285 3 роки тому +4

      That means fight is soon to start..

  • @traviscummings9178
    @traviscummings9178 4 роки тому +527

    Yeah, I'm fairly certain that Fluffy's lucky his heart didn't explode

    • @GhostBear3067
      @GhostBear3067 4 роки тому +34

      @Tim Craft ever get the feeling that your hands are shaking but when you look you cannot tell because your eyes are shaking at the same speed?

    • @katieandkevinsears7724
      @katieandkevinsears7724 4 роки тому +6

      I once drank 11 Red Bulls in a night, but that had nothing on Cafecito.

    • @GhostBear3067
      @GhostBear3067 4 роки тому +9

      @@katieandkevinsears7724 well chase that with a cafecito and you will see through time.

    • @lou-cidmire3065
      @lou-cidmire3065 4 роки тому +4

      He took one world-ending monstrosity of a poop that night at least.

    • @justahuman2609
      @justahuman2609 4 роки тому +1

      Yeah assuming everything was average (US standards) that would be 975.2 mg of caffeine or 11 and 3/4 of a energy drink (ex: nos, amp, bang)

  • @SporeTres
    @SporeTres 3 роки тому +30

    Gabe talks about coffee and waiters, and here I am in awe that ANYTHING is open at 3am.

  • @righty-o3585
    @righty-o3585 4 роки тому +189

    I remember the first time I had Cuban coffee. It was at my brother's wife's place ( no longer married ) in Miami. She came here with he parents stuffed like sardines on a refugee boat. So she was real deal. The conversation was basically the same as in the video. I was like WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? A thimble of coffee. She got about a syllable and a half into telling me that it's strong, to sip it slow. When I threw it back like it was a shot of whiskey.. And she did that oooooooodamn, scrunch face like you do when somebody isn't aware that they fucked up.. And like 30 seconds later... HOLY JESUS LASER BEAMS!!!!! I swear I could hear my hair growing out of the side of my face. And as hard and out of nowhere that stuff hits you like BING!!! Is how hard and suddenly it leaves.. I was mid sentence about halfway through reciting the ghettysburg address, power washing the roofing shingles and like somebody hit a switch , BLAM face first taking a nap in the roof. Out cold, snoring n shit. Cuban coffee or Cofe con Leche as they call it,, DOES NOT FUCK AROUND!!

    • @Boogerdick69
      @Boogerdick69 2 роки тому +5

      It’s funny cause we just so accustomed to it, when I was 5 I would drink a tacita or 2 at the barber shop lol. I’m not really a coffee drinker but I just drink it cause it feels disrespectful not to. I’ve never gone out my way to buy coffee and I’m 25

    • @cl6962
      @cl6962 Рік тому +4

      Righty o thanks for the laugh I had tears running down my face and had to take off my glasses at your comment😀😃😄😁

    • @righty-o3585
      @righty-o3585 Рік тому

      @@cl6962 lol any time 😁

    • @jamesmartin9401
      @jamesmartin9401 11 місяців тому +3

      "Holy Jesus Laser Beams" is the funniest thing I've heard in a month. I'm laughing harder at your story than Gabriel's. I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard.

    • @righty-o3585
      @righty-o3585 11 місяців тому

      @@jamesmartin9401 lol Damn, I left that comment 3 years ago. Forgot about it till now. Glad I could help lol 😁🤘

  • @genemartinez2833
    @genemartinez2833 2 роки тому +5

    So glad to have discovered Gabriel! He is so talented and I love how he brings his love for family, friends and traditions into his comedy!

  • @juls7582
    @juls7582 4 роки тому +811

    He is dead on. We’re Puerto Rican. When we were young, if our friends came over, my mom would get all excited and stared out speaking English, then went full on Spanish like a race car. Yes, we did have to interpret 😂

    • @dfreeman13
      @dfreeman13 4 роки тому +29

      My Puerto Rican friends in a nutshell. Chileans are right behind.

    • @SolarBlyze
      @SolarBlyze 4 роки тому +18

      i'm not Puerto Rican myself but my friend is and i'm basically an adopted cousin in the family xD but lords when they start going in spanish i cannot even make out the words, it's just strings of sounds and i'm left there like "uh .... " and i when look over to my friend even she shrugs and goes "nope, they lost me too" xD

    • @pedroc.b.3874
      @pedroc.b.3874 4 роки тому +1

      Venezuelans aren't too far behind...

    • @bigsimpwhobedownbadfrfr4005
      @bigsimpwhobedownbadfrfr4005 4 роки тому +1

      Yes bro imagine be Puerto Rican and ur friends are over and you did something wrong

    • @MsDinova
      @MsDinova 4 роки тому +4

      One of my friends is just as much my family as any of my blood relatives. I remember he was over one Christmas joining us for dinner. My mom and my grandma started chatting back-and-forth in Spanish at 1,000,000 miles a minute. He turned it to me, Since he didn’t speak much Spanish, and I just had to look back at him and say “I’m just as lost as you are“

  • @kaihendricks1518
    @kaihendricks1518 4 роки тому +85

    I’ve heard all of these before but They never get old

    • @xltaz9828
      @xltaz9828 4 роки тому

      exactly

    • @henryyancey1117
      @henryyancey1117 4 роки тому +1

      They’ve gotten old for me
      Only because he’s reposted this about a million times

    • @cineman-do2rk
      @cineman-do2rk 4 роки тому +1

      @@henryyancey1117 Not as many times as his girlfriend talking to their dog.

  • @ethanseale3
    @ethanseale3 Рік тому +6

    4:44 "I'm not a -ito, I'm a -ande." 😅😂🤣
    That was funny. If I ever try Cuban coffee, I'll definitely believe what FLUFFY is saying. 🇨🇺☕

  • @pepperachu
    @pepperachu 4 роки тому +819

    Basically he orders a large quadruple Cuban coffee against the advice of his offended server not realizing they are served small for a reason

    • @m3rrys0ngstr3ss
      @m3rrys0ngstr3ss 4 роки тому +106

      Yeah, when I first saw this bit, I figured the guy was either going to bow to him for his bravery or call him stupid. "Vaya con Dios" was probably the best thing the waiter could say to him!

    • @Emanuela9
      @Emanuela9 4 роки тому +16

      Espresso grande ☕ Ay yi yi 😬

    • @addictofanimation2923
      @addictofanimation2923 4 роки тому +65

      I think the waiter was being vindictive. You can't expect everyone to understand why you would bring them a shot glass of coffee if they don't know about how you make your coffee and you yourself don't give an explanation. He asked for a cup and the waiter brought a bowl to embarrass him and make him go back to a shot glass. Never underestimate what an embarrassed person will do. They don't always react rationally.

    • @dragon67849
      @dragon67849 4 роки тому +9

      @@addictofanimation2923 Big PP Comment right here

    • @addictofanimation2923
      @addictofanimation2923 4 роки тому +2

      @@dragon67849
      Huh?

  • @D71219ONE
    @D71219ONE 3 роки тому +164

    I went to Miami this summer for the first time. I ordered coffee, and was so confused when they brought out a thimble sized coffee cup. It was like coffee flavored gasoline. 😂

    • @BrandonMontejo305
      @BrandonMontejo305 3 роки тому +3

      i personally enjoy it lol

    • @D71219ONE
      @D71219ONE 3 роки тому +3

      @@BrandonMontejo305 Honestly, I’ve started craving it a lot, and I’ve tried to make it at home a few times. It’s not exact, but it tastes pretty close.
      I didn’t love it when I first tasted it, but now I want it pretty often. It’s weird how things like that happen.

    • @ayuwoki453
      @ayuwoki453 2 роки тому +3

      As a Cuban I actually got confused when I saw Americans drinking whole glasses of coffee. 😂😂😂

    • @LMvdB02
      @LMvdB02 2 роки тому +1

      Do Americans never drink espresso?

  • @NeoSaturos123
    @NeoSaturos123 3 роки тому +13

    6:11 This may be a well-known phrase in the US, I don't know. Still, I think it's best to explain it for people not knowing Spanish (I'm finishing year 1 of classes of Spanish at college myself). I looked it up, "vaya con Dios" means approximately "may God be with you" or perhaps "may you go with God".

  • @sonofozpin1098
    @sonofozpin1098 4 роки тому +165

    "You call a Cuban anything but Cuban you're gonna get stabbed"
    **Tony Montana has entered the Chat**

    • @mickavellian
      @mickavellian 4 роки тому +3

      Tony Montana had No fucking Cuban accent. Wanna hear a CUBAN accent talk to my dad.

    • @hehheh...8024
      @hehheh...8024 4 роки тому +1

      Me:tgis (this] is too funny i know im stupid

    • @knutinho2001
      @knutinho2001 4 роки тому +2

      Especially colombian

  • @angeldust1757
    @angeldust1757 4 роки тому +180

    Exited for the premiere! Honestly this guy is the funniest person😂💕✌

  • @Loud5oh
    @Loud5oh 3 роки тому +58

    “Vaya con dios” that shiiii killed meee😭😭😂😂

    • @cathoodiegirl4118
      @cathoodiegirl4118 3 роки тому +9

      Basically, Fluffy straight up opened the stairway to Heaven for himself. 😂 Cuban coffee is no joke.

    • @rudyolivaiii3163
      @rudyolivaiii3163 3 роки тому

      What does that mean?

    • @benwhitfield5870
      @benwhitfield5870 3 роки тому +2

      @@rudyolivaiii3163 You're going to God

    • @jcbb779
      @jcbb779 3 роки тому +7

      @@benwhitfield5870 no. It means "go with god"

    • @sbyrstall
      @sbyrstall 3 роки тому +5

      @@rudyolivaiii3163 Fluffy got his Last Rights. 😂

  • @ecclestonsangel
    @ecclestonsangel 4 роки тому +341

    "That is the only way Cubans can make that swim!" I bet you'll think twice before ordering an "ande" again, won't you, Fluffy? ROTFLMAO! This joke kills me every time, especially when he does the pissed off waiter, who sounds an awful lot like Ricky Ricardo!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Emanuela9
      @Emanuela9 4 роки тому +9

      Lucyyyyyyyy, I'm home!

    • @ecclestonsangel
      @ecclestonsangel 4 роки тому +7

      @@Emanuela9 ROTFL, yes! I keep waiting for Fluffy to do that!

    • @georgejohnson6835
      @georgejohnson6835 4 роки тому +4

      I am from waaaaay north west .. like tip of Alaska... Like you can see Russia's mountains and i loved swimming off key west... I wouldn't even try it with 5 Cuban coffee bowls!😁

    • @WLDWRX
      @WLDWRX 4 роки тому +4

      And then Fluffy will go to a normal coffee shop and ask for a shot of coffee only to find out that it is a non-Cuban coffee and is a normal coffee

    • @DeadlyDanDaMan
      @DeadlyDanDaMan 4 роки тому +2

      Well, the actor who played Ricky WAS Cuban, lol.

  • @TrixAnims1990
    @TrixAnims1990 4 роки тому +80

    Fluffy: I almost died to coffee
    Me: I almost died to Fluffy telling me how he almost died to coffee

  • @YoUr.S_OnLy
    @YoUr.S_OnLy 3 роки тому +4

    The way he says "OKAY!?" 🤣🤣 OMG I can't stop laughing Everytime I recall it

  • @Hatifrey
    @Hatifrey 4 роки тому +191

    Speaks Spanish
    "I wonder what he is saying"
    Turns on subtitles
    "Speaking in Spanish"
    TBF I'm on mobil

    • @atropa6894
      @atropa6894 4 роки тому +4

      [Something in Chinese.]
      [I don't know, I'm just the narrator.]

    • @fernandorosales3884
      @fernandorosales3884 4 роки тому +1

      Write the minutes down, I'll tell you 🤣

  • @diganwhisky.uruguay
    @diganwhisky.uruguay 4 роки тому +18

    2:00 Germans: Hey fat man, what do we drink?

    • @Andeez684
      @Andeez684 11 місяців тому +1

      lol india trip isn't it

  • @paulleyharris7851
    @paulleyharris7851 Рік тому +5

    As a 1st generation American of Cuban heritage, I agree with the choice of beverage & how potent the coffee is.
    Cuban food is very delicious too!

  • @evilqueen515
    @evilqueen515 4 роки тому +8

    Fluffy makes me smile in this lonely life I have since I m stuck at home 24/7 alone to stay well. He's always been one of the funniest comedians I've ever seen and have been watching comedians for many years! 😂❤️

  • @FrankMontes24
    @FrankMontes24 4 роки тому +20

    One time, I ordered an iced Cuban coffee for the first time, listed on a local cafe’s menu as “El Cubano”. The barista accidentally made it hot. He felt bad so he let me keep it for free and made a fresh iced one. While I was waiting for the iced coffee, I started to work on the hot one so I wouldn’t have to carry two cups. Of course, knowing myself, I chugged down what had to be the boldest coffee I’ve ever had. Keep in mind, I have never tried it before. I pour the rest of the hot coffee into the iced drink and start to walk home from school one Friday. Unfortunately, it was also 98 degrees that day, so I chugged the iced coffee down. What happened next was the worst caffeine rush I’ve ever experienced. No pre-workout made by man can top how wired I was for two fucking days non-stop. Luckily, it was spring break the following week so I spend a day and a half sleeping it off

  • @Jacob_Cleine
    @Jacob_Cleine 3 роки тому +10

    When the waiter seen him drink the whole bowl of coffee and said
    “Vaya Con Dios” which is Spanish for “Go With God” and with Gabriel doing the Cross Gesture with his hand it made it so much funnier after I knew what it meant In English 😂😂

  • @mikenoordhof764
    @mikenoordhof764 4 роки тому +251

    I think we all learned something today:
    Never piss off a Cuban😂

  • @officialbrandonquinn
    @officialbrandonquinn 4 роки тому +12

    @3:08 omg "I thought the partition was tinted.."; yall I almost hurt my ribs from laughing

  • @victorosong
    @victorosong Рік тому +2

    "I thought the partition was tinted."😂😂😂 That's a good punchline.

  • @joshuapalma7521
    @joshuapalma7521 4 роки тому +10

    2:15 “And a Cuban prefers a choice of coffee”🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @LunusksiathKallisto
    @LunusksiathKallisto 4 роки тому +116

    I could've told you coffee handed in a shot glass is served that way for a reason, Turkish and Armenian coffee is done the same way. I've grown up in a town near Boston where there's a large Middle Eastern population and they too, have a type of coffee like that. Either way, I don't feel it, though, but then again, I was sorta born immune to caffine.

    • @TheodoreBrosevelt
      @TheodoreBrosevelt 4 роки тому +2

      Like a super power

    • @amandasmith373
      @amandasmith373 4 роки тому +10

      I've had both Turkish and Cuban coffee, and Cuban coffee is on a whole nother level. Turkish coffee may wake you up a bit, but Cuban coffee is like getting kicked by a donkey

    • @nieczerwony
      @nieczerwony 4 роки тому +16

      @@amandasmith373 @Amanda Smith Depends where did you get that. I am coffee maniac and proper Turkish coffee kicks as a mule. Same with Cuban or espresso (but rather south Italy). Key is to choose Robusta coffee beans and just lightly roasted.
      Robusta contains up to 4 times more caffeine then Arabica. The longer the roast the more caffeine is lost.
      Now most people go for really dark coffee as they think this will be stronger.
      Dark coffee has more aroma and flavor but not caffeine.
      My advice is also to use theanine after your coffee and also grapefruit juice.
      First will take away the effect of getting shaky and overhyped mind (like 100 thought in a second experience), grapefruit has flavanoid called naringin. It blocks certain enzymes in liver who are responsible for digesting caffeine. Do we can increase effect of caffeine by over a half.
      Naringin also blocks cortisol production hence it will further decrease anxiety effect of caffeine.

    • @Chris.Pontius
      @Chris.Pontius 4 роки тому +2

      I think most people around the globe know this.

    • @miahempel7991
      @miahempel7991 4 роки тому +1

      How cool! Thank you for the information, my fellow coffee maniac!

  • @queso.4726
    @queso.4726 Рік тому +6

    😂As a Cuban immigrant I’m so proud reading the comments. I enjoy a lot because I never imagine that this tiny cup of coffe shock the world. Haha, thanks everyone!!!

  • @robertbishop5357
    @robertbishop5357 4 роки тому +62

    He's not kidding about Cuban coffee. That shot cup of coffee equals about a pot of American cofecito.

  • @VastIceGaming
    @VastIceGaming 4 роки тому +74

    Funny AF. Reminds me of Ralphie May's Cuban coffee story from his Austin-Tatious special. He actually made the same mistake of demanding a full-size cup of the stuff and nearly had a heart attack after consuming it. Then he almost had another one when he got the bill. $58 for approximately 16 oz of Cuban coffee.
    May he rest in peace.

    • @leitakcoc
      @leitakcoc 4 роки тому +5

      That’s what I was thinking 😂

    • @glenk.4124
      @glenk.4124 4 роки тому +5

      Just saw that clip today then saw this title for fluffy and had to watch it to make sure it wasn’t a rip off, I love both comedians

    • @R.Oates7902
      @R.Oates7902 3 роки тому +3

      Ralphie May
      RIP
      🙏

    • @jacobrobinson787
      @jacobrobinson787 3 роки тому +1

      wait, Ralphie May's dead? When?

    • @VastIceGaming
      @VastIceGaming 3 роки тому +1

      @@jacobrobinson787 He passed away in 2017.

  • @hankhouke
    @hankhouke 3 роки тому +8

    I watched a lady make this in Miami, when I lived there. You take a frying pan with 1/4 inch of water at a boil, and you add grounds, slowly while stirring, until you have a thick black paste like barely melted chocolate, then you put a teaspoon of that in the tiny cup and add boiling water to fill. Yes you are drinking the grounds, although some sinks. It kept me up two nights.

  • @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s
    @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s 4 роки тому +154

    Cubans come in every color of the rainbow, yep , that’s true , we are a melting pot

    • @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s
      @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s 4 роки тому +1

      Common Sense Isn't Common I’m sorry but , what’s the purpose of that comment??

    • @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s
      @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s 4 роки тому +2

      Common Sense Isn't Common well yeah , but we are not a mix of races just because the slaves Spain brought,
      We also had Italian , French ,Chinese ,etc , emigration. Cuba was at some point a place where everybody wanted to go. Yes of course slaves and their culture added and shaped our history , but not exclusively.

    • @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s
      @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s 4 роки тому +2

      Common Sense Isn't Common Italians like Cuba for a different reason tho 😄😄
      But before 1959, before the Cuban revolution , Cuba was a common destination for many countries to start a new life , our immense diversity comes from that.
      I’m extremely white , but I have friends really dark, even some asian friends,gingers , etc.
      Even tho you can tell a Cuban from any other person, our race diversity comes from years of history and colonization .
      The phrase melting pot is a translation from a famous Cuban anthropologist referring to that unique diversity. Cuba being an island and having that many races is what makes it so interesting.

    • @candaceleon1724
      @candaceleon1724 4 роки тому +3

      We are I'm actually Cuban indigenous. However I'm not Taino my family is of the Guanahatabey tribe of Cuba. They were there first before the Tainos

    • @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s
      @DailyDoseOfCrazy-n7s 4 роки тому +5

      Candace Leon oh wow , that’s super interesting, I’ve never met a Cuban indigenous before ,i knew that a couple of families still exists , but you know , Spain wiped out the majority

  • @rexpk7685
    @rexpk7685 4 роки тому +7

    Love Fluffys stories,they cheer me up.
    he is too funny

  • @trudy285
    @trudy285 Рік тому +8

    I drank some once in a Miami restaurant.... On the way back to the vacation spot in key west, I wrote an entire screenplay! True story! Keep Smiling And Enjoy Your Journey! 😁✌️❤️🦋🙏

  • @anthonyarrigo2202
    @anthonyarrigo2202 4 роки тому +25

    Too funny
    "Make that swim"
    Still laughing

    • @hindj9142
      @hindj9142 4 роки тому

      What swim ?😭😂I didn’t get this joke

  • @fmfdocbotl4358
    @fmfdocbotl4358 4 роки тому +23

    So while in the military we had a death by powerpoint class the day after a few of us went out. We got there early and decided to go grab some coffee and one of the guys who wasnt a coffee drink asked "what's the strongest stuff you got" the barista gives him and espresso and he was like "yo this is small give me another". I tried telling him not to do it, but he didnt listen. Now we are in class and he says to me "it feels like my skin is crawling" as he is drumming on the table and clicking his pen. He vowed not to drink coffee again lol

  • @smlchristian3
    @smlchristian3 3 роки тому +12

    1:40 I have Puerto Rican coworkers and I can confirm this to be true.

  • @SimoExMachina2
    @SimoExMachina2 3 роки тому +87

    Italians have their Espresso: small but potent. Mexicans have their Gabriel.

    • @Goo_Gle.
      @Goo_Gle. 3 роки тому +9

      ...Large and fluffy

  • @stephenconnell9981
    @stephenconnell9981 4 роки тому +4

    Fluffy! Fluffy! You always put a smile on my face every time. I laugh so hard. There is nobody like you in the world. Thanks for being you!!

  • @maxcactus7
    @maxcactus7 3 роки тому +5

    Fluffy is a bona fide national treasure!

  • @Hammi4Real
    @Hammi4Real 4 роки тому +22

    6:19 Manolo?
    That means Tony and Manny never left the restaurant and instead made an honest living for the remainder of their lives. *Tears.*

  • @veronicaalvarez3593
    @veronicaalvarez3593 4 роки тому +23

    I’m Cuban (and Puerto Rican on mom’s side). I’ve realized my dad, literally every other Cuban friend he has and my grandparents don’t take their coffee any way other than super strong and in a small shot glass. I’m also super white looking and he is really tan, so this is, like, scary accurate.
    My dad also had a Spanish bodega (La Loma Market), and he would hand out little shot glasses of “Cuban” coffee and i had never heard anyone complain.

  • @CSLucasEpic
    @CSLucasEpic 3 роки тому +21

    Aw, we didn't see the part where he goes "The moment I put down the coffee, I shit my pants."

  • @rubenreyes4145
    @rubenreyes4145 4 роки тому +17

    Okay!?, okay!?, okay!?🤣🤣5:28

  • @matthews1499
    @matthews1499 4 роки тому +19

    2:52 el negro I AM DEAD 💀🤣😂😅

    • @COWTEEN
      @COWTEEN Рік тому +1

      My new text tone

  • @2ATubaKnight
    @2ATubaKnight 2 роки тому +7

    Once you have Cuban coffee, you never go back! As a college student at UMiami who has constant access to it, it truly works wonders

  • @ojibwebrave6457
    @ojibwebrave6457 3 роки тому +23

    My uncle actually swam to Miami from Cuba and told me he actually drank some coffee before the trek.
    Fluffy hit it on the head.......it ACTUALLY happened.lol

  • @chrisdooley6468
    @chrisdooley6468 4 роки тому +85

    As a south Florida resident and long time customer of Versailles in Little Havana that coffee will kill you dead. Lots of cream and sugar are necessary to dilute that liquid speed down enough and you’re brave if you have more than one. You’ll get heart palpitations and the sweats like so many tourists lol 😆

    • @Stoicsaiyan
      @Stoicsaiyan 4 роки тому +3

      My dad drinks Cuban coffee every single morning and night and he has high blood pressure and the strong coffee doesn’t even seem to phase him it’s like he grew a immunity😂

    • @eagleeye2300
      @eagleeye2300 4 роки тому +2

      I lived in Miami many years ago and man oh man do I miss the Cuban food from Versailles and the restaurant, (basically diagonally across the street) that Fluffy mentions. I believe that they are owned by the same person or family. (?) Anyhow...DELICIOUS FOOD. Loved the plaintains...beans and rice...garlic steak...I never did have the Cuban coffee, however!

  • @juliamilford1979
    @juliamilford1979 3 роки тому +1

    Gabriel is the best, really enjoy everything he does. But Martin.... I want a friend like that in my life, what a fantastic guy!

  • @danniel7994
    @danniel7994 4 роки тому +8

    ‘I’m not -ito, I’m -ande.” That one got me 😂😂

  • @avinavar4818
    @avinavar4818 Рік тому +2

    Love the detail of the waiter bringing the coffee back in a bowl. Because they don’t have any mugs, they’ve never needed mugs for coffee there, it’s all the little shot glasses only! 😆😆

  • @Darkd33
    @Darkd33 4 роки тому +10

    1:45 the one audio part of the test

  • @XxDavhieVanityFanXx
    @XxDavhieVanityFanXx 4 роки тому +70

    Honestly my favorite skit ever this and the racist gift basket are my top two.

  • @Vendo_Mani_xd
    @Vendo_Mani_xd 2 роки тому +3

    “that is the only way in the world cubans can make that swim” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @haxs753
    @haxs753 4 роки тому +123

    _I feel a disturbance in the force_

    • @juliovillarreal4575
      @juliovillarreal4575 4 роки тому +1

      Martin feeling the disturbance, then they all get stopped by the police

    • @Emanuela9
      @Emanuela9 4 роки тому

      @@juliovillarreal4575 who turn out to be Cuban Americans 👮‍♂️👮‍♀️

  • @rickygonzalez3152
    @rickygonzalez3152 4 роки тому +15

    1:49 DAME MAS GASOLINA! 🏎⛽

  • @stephanielimongelli1156
    @stephanielimongelli1156 3 роки тому +3

    So freaking funny 😃 I never get sick of watching this video... classic!! Thank you Fluffy... 😆

  • @crossoverclub1378
    @crossoverclub1378 4 роки тому +15

    6:00 it was at this point that Fluffy new...he fucked up.

  • @kyleturner8730
    @kyleturner8730 4 роки тому +5

    "That is the only way Cubans can make that swim."
    Audience: *nervous laughter and applause*

  • @victorsalazar1273
    @victorsalazar1273 3 роки тому +3

    Man Fluffy is so damn funny. If you ever have a chance to see Fluffy I highly recommend doing it, I seen him three times and I love it every time.