My personal (ADHD) experience in this: -I have almost always had to work VERY hard to achieve in school or work. I struggle immensely with doing any task that is not interesting, and/or new and very urgent. I also feel next to no 'reward' (pleasant emotional response) when I finish tasks. Ever. Even tasks that I enjoy because they're interesting, I do not have any sense of reward when done. So, I have always felt like I am just barely surviving, running on adrenaline in academic or work settings, always finishing last minute. And in my personal life, I just don't understand what people want from me when they say "you should be proud, aren't you thrilled?!" If I have managed to do something. Because no, I honestly don't feel anything like that. So, I feel like I'm tricking people into thinking I'm a good student or worker. And I am. I do hide the reality of how I manage my life. Because when people actually have seen how I do get things completed, they're horrified. They tell me I need to change. They also think I'm a bit crazy if I do explain that I genuinely only do most things in my life to avoid upsetting or disappointing others. And I get that it's sad, but I don't have access to other motivators to do things that are pointless to me. So, I live in fear of being exposed for: how much I struggle daily to get anything done, the strange methods I have to use to get work done, and how little I infact appreciate the typical "successes" other people tell me I should be proud of. It's like being the only human on an alien planet, just trying to blend in and pretend you're like them.
This is a very good description of not getting the reward experience that others describe and I wonder if the element of dopamine and it’s lack and ADHD would account for it? I personally take Ritalin, and believe that I feel more positively about myself, and my achievements under his influence, in addition to which I think I’m more capable of focusing, so maybe it brings a double edged benefit.
I have only been watching it for a few minutes. You referred me from the other video. I have been hiding this stuff forever but I work in Mental Health and my peers have started pointing this out, and for my growth, I am able to admit where I need growth. I still hide a lot of things that I feel that I am a Imposter in because I don't want to confront it. Also, my memory disappears when I need it from the ADHD so I think it contributes to the Imposter part.
I keep hearing about this...in fact, the most recent usage of the term was used by an award winner during a ceremony- i remember immediately tuning in to her describe herself feeling like an imposter...it really pissed me off that this person had achieved and finished a creative job and was , in my feeling, feigning humility and just throwing out the hip new buzzwords..meanwhile, i remained confused but curious about the term. thank you for your explanations/pseudo explanations (lol); i no longer feel left out of understanding better and i'll take that achievement! kudos to the original writers and their inclusion of female subjects, big time.
My personal (ADHD) experience in this:
-I have almost always had to work VERY hard to achieve in school or work. I struggle immensely with doing any task that is not interesting, and/or new and very urgent. I also feel next to no 'reward' (pleasant emotional response) when I finish tasks. Ever. Even tasks that I enjoy because they're interesting, I do not have any sense of reward when done.
So, I have always felt like I am just barely surviving, running on adrenaline in academic or work settings, always finishing last minute. And in my personal life, I just don't understand what people want from me when they say "you should be proud, aren't you thrilled?!" If I have managed to do something. Because no, I honestly don't feel anything like that.
So, I feel like I'm tricking people into thinking I'm a good student or worker. And I am. I do hide the reality of how I manage my life. Because when people actually have seen how I do get things completed, they're horrified. They tell me I need to change. They also think I'm a bit crazy if I do explain that I genuinely only do most things in my life to avoid upsetting or disappointing others. And I get that it's sad, but I don't have access to other motivators to do things that are pointless to me.
So, I live in fear of being exposed for: how much I struggle daily to get anything done, the strange methods I have to use to get work done, and how little I infact appreciate the typical "successes" other people tell me I should be proud of. It's like being the only human on an alien planet, just trying to blend in and pretend you're like them.
This is a very good description of not getting the reward experience that others describe and I wonder if the element of dopamine and it’s lack and ADHD would account for it? I personally take Ritalin, and believe that I feel more positively about myself, and my achievements under his influence, in addition to which I think I’m more capable of focusing, so maybe it brings a double edged benefit.
YES, thank you for articulating my experience
I have only been watching it for a few minutes. You referred me from the other video. I have been hiding this stuff forever but I work in Mental Health and my peers have started pointing this out, and for my growth, I am able to admit where I need growth. I still hide a lot of things that I feel that I am a Imposter in because I don't want to confront it. Also, my memory disappears when I need it from the ADHD so I think it contributes to the Imposter part.
I hope that you find some useful information, as well as a good person to talk to.
I keep hearing about this...in fact, the most recent usage of the term was used by an award winner during a ceremony- i remember immediately tuning in to her describe herself feeling like an imposter...it really pissed me off that this person had achieved and finished a creative job and was , in my feeling, feigning humility and just throwing out the hip new buzzwords..meanwhile, i remained confused but curious about the term. thank you for your explanations/pseudo explanations (lol); i no longer feel left out of understanding better and i'll take that achievement! kudos to the original writers and their inclusion of female subjects, big time.