My father's death, my miscarriages & marriage - Why I almost gave up on God (Mental Health Battle)
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2021
- As promised, I will be sharing with you the struggles I’ve had in the last three years. We shared key moments we can point to that contributed to my breakdown. A complete version will be uploaded in two parts on the @anythinggoeswiththebonis podcast (Available on Spotify!). 🎙Stay tuned for that one. But for now, here is my narration of what I can remember during the time when there was nothing I could see beyond the present moment, and when I would question the necessity of my existence. My hope is that my story will make some of you feel a little less alone today, and a little bit more normal, making peace with the fact that it is a difficult task to rebuild ourselves from being broken by so many things.
In case you need any help, below is a document of a list of affordable counseling and psychiatric consultation in the Philippines, hope this helps in some way:
bit.ly/3FR26eO
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Music by Epidemic Sound
I upload vlogs weekly and you can find me doing daily things on my other social media accounts:
Facebook: / ricaperalejob. .
Instagram: / ricaperalejo
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For Business Inquiries, email: cheregioskos@gmail.com
#MentalHealthAwareness #RicaPeralejo
What sets Rica apart from others is her innate ability to come up with such brilliant vblog that doesn't require her to feature BIG personalities and yet manages to give viewers and followers a very substantial, relevant and spritual discussion.. her reflections and realizations are so life giving..
Louder pls! I don't usually follow celeb vlogs, but Rica's mind is so captivating and engaging, very positive,hindi pilit yung pagiging articulate nya, I admire yung pagiging real nya sa vlog nya,she doesn't want to portray a "super prim and proper" kaya I followed her vlogs 💕💕💕💕
Or maybe, let’s stop putting competition with everyone because their vlogs are different, well atleast for those who are vlogging with sense. They pray, and it is God who leads them to what to make as a content. Guys, there is full of negativity in the world, let’s not add to that. If you don’t agree with other vloggers then just stop following, block them if you may. You dont need to let people and Rica know that she’s better than any vlogger. They are vlogging eith God’s leading.
This is a proof that we are broken people living in a broken world. But this story is also a proof that God is able to give us Shalom, and make us whole. THANK YOU FOR THIS VLOG.
Well said! Amen! ♥️
I love this "God allowed me to lose myself, so that I can find myself in Him" ❤️
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Watched yours (Alex) first and I was 😭 cuz finally someone understands. And then came here (Rica). And emotions and experiences now has words. 😭😭😭 Thank you for sharing.
I was crying the whole time. I realized I was "lowkey" angry with God because of all the things that had happened to me this year. I didn't have the time to pause and process what was going on. When you said that it's ok to lash out at God, to cry out to Him, I cried even more. Ganon pala kasi dapat sa isang tatay. We can tell Him honestly what we want to say kasi before, I thought na pag nagalit o nagtampo ako sa Kaniya, magagalit din Siya sa akin. I thought that I was the one who held our relationship. But thank God for your testimony, Ms Rica. It felt like God was speaking to me too.
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Same thoughts. Watching this vlog was really a big revelation on my end.
This made me cry. God makes us whole no matter how broken we are. Yung tipong last thread na ng sanity ko ito Lord, ioffer ko na sayo lahat, wala nang strength na natira, sagad na Lord. Parang wala namang nangyayari.
Tapos yun pala, He's been holding you all along.
Grabe ang Grace ni Lord. At naiyak na naman ako ulit...
Thank you for sharing this. ❤️🩹
It’s not an accident hearing this, I was so drained mentally last night and crying the whole night. But thanks to the reminder, we are just human di naman natin minsan ma control ang lahat but how Amazing it was na when you cry so loud and to the point that you cant breathe, He’s there. Your so lucky to have Pastor Joe , he just stared at you and feel your pain too until the end of the Video and I would say he’s your opposite to complete you. God bless
Thank you for sharing this. My wife and I reflected on our marriage journey and it does remind us of how God’s grace keeps us despite our brokenness as individuals. Wonderful testimony. 🙏🏻
This made me cry. I thought I was listening to myself while I was watching it. We have the same struggles, my infertility ,the death of my dad and not having a closure. I felt so alone in my struggles and that no one understands me. It also felt like God was not listening to my prayers or I am being punished for my past mistakes...thank you for this Carla. May God continue to bless you with wisdom so you can be a blessing to others.😍
My husband proposed to me after he realized he needed to marry me after we attended a talk for singles you and Pastor Joe did in our church. And now i’ve been crying since the start of this video because I can relate in so many levels. Not celebrating the child inside you because of fear. Feeling alone or being just left behind by everybody who has moved on. Questioning. Not being able to process it all pala. Not being able to experience the grief or sadness. Thank you Ms Carla and Pastor Joe for always being God’s instrument, in our marriage and our lives. I can really feel God’s warmest hug tonight. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thankful I was able to watch this. My family is going through difficult time. My nephew passed away last month. And I almost gave up on my faith. Your story really moved me, esp when you talked about having a Father who’s holding everything together for us. Like you, grew up without a father.
You always share the most vulnerable content. Oh how healing can flow from a broken person saved by the grace of God. Thank you!
Thank you for this episode. I feel like you were speaking to me. I went through almost the exact same thing you went through. I went through this ordeal for I think 8 years and I’m not even sure if I’m already over it. But after hearing you and everything you said, it just touched my heart and I’m now crying. Thank you again. God bless you and your family.
"You're going to be there for them, even when they're difficult." "...and when you can't hope, I will hope for you." 🥺 I could relate to all the mental health issues that you mentioned here, Ms. Rica, but these lines got me crying. All because I have someone who never left my side even if I was going "crazy" and I was becoming so difficult to deal with. Praise God for people like them. It just shows how much God loves us. He will always send people along the way who will touch our hearts and our lives in ways we would never anticipate. All by His grace 😭
This vlog, grabe. Thank you, Ms. Rica. Looking back to all your vlogs in the past years, who knew you were going through so much? Oh praise the Lord for you, for your life. Let's continue living for the One Who died and rose again for us 🥺
Grabe kayo, Joe and Carla, pinaiyak nyo ako ng sobra-sobra. Everything was on point. I’m a subscriber of your podcast so I will continue listening there. Thank you very much.
during my depression it is only god i can hold on since nobody seems to understand. now i recovered and i now realize it is really all abt him.
Thank you! I cried during the last part where you said we just really need people who stays kasi if they try to tell us theyll leave us, we'll be telling them to go ahead. that's how i deal with things most of the time. im just glad there are still people who stick around and am grateful for them.
"You've been through a lot." Someone also said these very words to me early last year and like you I didn't really grasped the weight of my battles and its toll on my mind and heart until that person uttered those words to me. It's affirming of what I went through and yet also a comforting thought that someone understands. I watched the whole vlog and resonated so deeply with everything you said Ms. Carla. Thank you for the courage and openness to share such vulnerable moments of your life. You are a blessing! ♥️
I am crying the whole time. I took quiet time listening/watching to this. Lahat ng diko maintindihan lahat ng mga bagay na diko ma explain na paulit ulit lang, this is an answered prayer for me. Salamat for opening my eyes that kahit diko na kaya I can rest with my Gods presence I just need to allow him completely to control my life and realize na even if I let him go He never did. He was with me all along. Thank you Bonis! Keep doing what you do keep spreading Gods words in this broken world we have. Salamat, salamat sainyo.
actually got me crying hard the whole vid, cause first i really relate with the rapid fire trauma, pushing people away cause of the thinking people's live are better off without you in theirs, mental health battle (i have depression and anxiety disorder), and sometimes being faithless because situation never improves or sometimes even gets worse. thankful na may nagvovoice out with their experiences like this cause i dont feel so alone na after hearing your story plus how God voices out His immeasurable and incomparable love that leads me to realize na ganun din nya ko alagaan even when things are at wreck or when "i lost control of all things". anxiety always has me being want to be in control but thank God na He just listems to me whenever i make reklamo na bakit ganito ganyan buhay ko and still gently and lovingly sorts things out. hay, ang galing ni Lord sa mga buhay natin. thankful for your life Ms. Rica, thank you for this 💕
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Hi Faith! You are not alone. 🙂
Thank you ma'am Rica and Pastor Joe 😭🙏🤍. Just what i needed the most. Been through mental health issues also and i too had suicidal thoughts. That kind of feeling na " just-surviving-the-day" is enough for you to keep going. But our Father is a gracious God, His mercy is new every morning. Your experience was a testament that God is powerful, and when He did healing to you, He can do it also to everyone else that are experiencing mental health problems. Ma'am Rica you're a strong woman of God. I believe He gave this to you as an instrumental woman of wisdom who see things through Him and can able to use your platform in a better way and share His abounding grace and love. God bless you and your family. 💕💕💕
Salamat sa blessing 😭💕❤️🩹
Thank you po for this ❤️ I also had 2 failed pregnancies ngayong pandemic, the last one was just few weeks ago, in fact. and it's truly hard to just move forward. and wow, how some people would just simply say "ok lang yan, buhay ka, try lang ulit" that really offended me in so many ways. Only God is keeping me whole right now. If not for Him and my husband's support, I think hirap na hirap ako ngayon. It's an answered prayer to hear from someone like you, who has gone through almost the same situation. Lalo na it's not very normal na napagusapan yung mga ganito dito sa Pinas. ❤️🙏 Thank you for sharing a piece of your life with us. Typing this down with a hopeful heart. ♥️ God bless your family.
Great insights, the most profound is how we see pain and immediately compare it to what others experienced or experiencing. The fact is, we can't compare. Our pain is our experience - not greater than or less than what others have. But just is. If we see it as is then that's when the real compassion of God is experienced within ourselves.
Didn't thought I'll be needing this message. But while watching it, I realize I am in the same situation of just keeping myself live through the pain that I've been through for the past years.
I like the idea of God wants us to be at peace with ourselves.
It's been years now that I kept breaking up with God, running from Him, but He just keeps showing me and telling me that kahit na ilang beses kang lumayo, tumakbo, magtago or i let go Siya. He will still stay and hold you tight.
Thank You for this. It's my first time watching your vlogs. Supporting you all the way.
Praise God for this content! This is a revelation from the Lord, just like Ms. Carla I will start now to let God move and have hope in Him fully because He is the source of peace. Hallelujah!
Only you Rica and your husband, can let me stay this long watching vids, here in UA-cam. I've also had a LOT, but survived, only because of GOD, my faith in him. Pastor's gesture towards you Rica makes me cry 😭. Tears of joy, happiness that you have Pastor. You two are so blessed.
Your testimony since day 1 has made a great impact in my life when I finally decided to surrender and got baptize…being a Christian is still a struggle and your testimony again gave me hope…thank you so much ❤️
Oh my gosh, im still at 9-10mins of this video. What you said hit me hard, because that was similar to what I prayed for last night. I surrender and accept that that's how my life and myself is at the moment and I just ask God for me to be able to totally and sincerely accept to live with it and be happy with it. For me to no longer ask for something I've been longing for years that just simply won't happen. It gives me peace having been able to say it out loud in my prayer.
Watching this was cathartic. I cried a good one. I also let my husband watch it with me because most of the things you said were exactly what I wanted to tell him.
Thank you for sharing your journey and letting who are going through the same phase know that we are not alone and that there is always hope.
Such a powerful testimony. Thank you for sharing this. It really means a lot for me to hear this. It was like God was reaching out to me. Thank you. My heart is full.
I came to the same point of my life like yours Ms. Rica..
Anxiety, depression, trauma, etc..
Thank you to my spiritual friends and family who helped me in my darkest moment and overcome it.
All the most, thank God for your grace and mercy ❤🙏❤
Thank you both for being vulnerable and reminding me that God is my safe space. He is my safe space alone. I've been struggling to "keep it all together" but I can be weak in front of Him, I can be imperfect, I can be just a child. Thank you because I am sure God used this video to remind me na He's just there. He's never left. And for that, I glorify You Jesus.
Very inspiring! Thank you for sharing your story. Stories like yours really give comfort to people like me who have gone the same battle with mental health. God bless you and your family more.
can’t wait for the podcast! got teary eyed the whole vid. Thankyou for sharing!
This touched my heart and all its corners! So blessed by this! Thank you and waiting for the longer version 😊
Thank you for allowing us to know that we’re not the only one who’s been experiencing some battles that even in ourselves we couldn’t understand. Thank you for sharing ms. Rica🙏🏻
Been crying the entire vlog as I’m going through the same thing for months now. Thank you for the vulnerability, and courage to share this uncomfortable yet eye-opening season in your life. Thank you for letting God use your hurt to bless others. 🙏
I cried! This is such a brave act of sharing.
Thank you...I just came from a season of change and the lord wanted me to admit na ang hirap. He taught me that there is beauty in admission that life, my situation is so difficult. I guess unconsciously, my hard was becoming hardened by pride. It also amazes me kasi its also in the same season that the lord also revealed to me that I dont know how it is to have a father. Hindi pala ako nagiisa. I am still clueless how it is to be fathered. I am longing for it, and longing for the same thing for my daughter because I am a single mom. I'm just crying - and its so humbling... I feel like the lord, through your vlog, just assured me that kahit na its all up to Him, He will not let go because He loves me. Kahit di ko na maintindihan minsan kung bakit pa rin nya ako mahal.❤
I like how Pastor Joe just sit there and listen to whatever Ms. Carla says. Sometimes the best comfort we can give is just be there and make people feel that we hear them.
THANK YOU. SO MUCH. You don’t know how much this resonates with me. A lot of what you said here, I could have said myself. It’s amazing how God can reassure people of His love through other people’s stories.
This is your most beautiful sharing and probably one of the best I’ve listened to on YT. I can totally relate and I really find myself in the same feeling of assuming bad things to happen all the time, blaming myself for bad things that happened to others.
Sometimes I just tell myself I’m mentally impaired, but I thank the Lord for my spouse who always listens and has been there for me even though my situation is not quite understandable. I try to remove the lies and replace my thoughts with whatever is true, whatever is good, whatever is lovely..etc. Also to accept that everyone is broken and that includes me and that the Lord is not yet finished with His work in me and in the people I love.
Hey Joe and Rica! Thank you for sharing and being open about your journey. Can’t wait to listen to your podcast on Spotify about this topic.
Watched this 2 years after it was posted and all I have is a touched heart. May God bless, heal, and touch us all.
Full of truths and inspo...Nobody really is so strong in a broken world with broken people...
But the good thing is that God doesn't give as the world gives
Thank you Ms. Rica for sharing your testimony. It was an encouragement for me and I could relate much...A big thank you to God for using you and this medium to share how Faithful He is to all of us..
Cried all through out the vlog. I had the same thoughts and didn't know how to continue living. Still struggling with guilt and shame from time to time but I'm working on my healing and I know God is helping me. I just want to thank you for sharing your story, Ms. Carla. Para akong nakahanap ng kakampi through your story. It's a reminder na I'm not alone in this battle. Thank you!
Ms. Rica you have helped me alot get through my anxieties. Its never easy, but watching your vlogs help me to find ease and told myself i can get through this just like you did. You truly are an inspiration ❤️
This is inspiring Rica! Your words just resonates to us and it’s as if God is talking to us though you .it’s like having a book that you can’t put down because it’s just so Good, every part of it!
It gives everyone with mental illness or family who lives with one a sense of HOPE! Thank you and God bless you!
I'm so proud of you, Rica! I'm proud how you surpassed the battle. Lately I believe I've been struggling as well, mentally.. but I always remind myself this, "GOD NEVER GIVE US BURDENS WE CAN'T BEAR." and it makes me relax. 💖
Thank you for sharing this topic. I cried and realized so many things. God is so big and always good, He is the only one who can help us in whatever battles we are facing into, inside and outside battles..
Thank you, Ms Rica :) I was also crying while watching this and it is so timely for me. I praise GOD for your life. The LORD bless you continually as you bless other people with your contents. 🙏🏻♥️
While watching this, I felt the Lord. God is so Good to your family and to all of us. By this, may God be Praised. 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing this... You were so humble and honest upon sharing.... I also realised the importance of a husband who listens ... Both of you were not perfect but God is so good and perfect
Thank you for this, Rica. Been struggling since i was a child and I can relate to the story about your father. I really feel the same way and being mentally unstable is not easy. Your podcast made me smile for a moment realising that God leaves peace to us. Peace that the world can't give.
I think I'm too hard to God that just because im having a hard time, i won't talk to Him but the truth is He is the One i really need.
Your words of wisdom impacts to us. ♥️
Wonderful vlog!
God is gracious & He's more than enough. His grace is sufficient 🧡
Thank you for sharing this Miss Rica. I cried a lot because you've put into words what I can only feel in my heart and mind. Different circumstances yet the same pain. I hope people going through the same thing will find their hope and comfort everyday in knowing that God will never let us go no matter what season we're in. ❤️
Thank you Rica for reminding us that our Father loves us. So inspiring.💛
This narrative is so therapeutic. Thank you for sharing Ms. Rica!
Praise God for you, Ms Rica and Pastor Joey. So much encouragement with this video alone. Your lives are a great blessing. Praise God for your family
Thanks for making this video, it will help me and other people who's experiencing this.. Its so emotional that I couldn't help myself to cry, 🙌God bless you and your family. 🙏
Struggling with something that affects my mental health for how many days now. Thank you for this vlog. Thank you for the pieces of wisdom from the two of you. More of this please.
I cried. Thank you for this Ms. Rica! So relatable for me; I needed this. ❤️
I am always inspired as usual whenever you two discuss matters like this,so deep and honest, keep it up, keep on inspiring people 💕💕💕
Thank you for sharing this, Ate! I kept crying while watching because i also came to that point that I wake up in the morning asking why am I still alive and I go to sleep at night asking why should I wake up in the morning. I have lost my will to live. I also came to that point when I wanted to get sick and die because there is nothing left for me to live for. But just like you, I have to perform because I don't have a choice. I even came to a point that I question my sanity. My sister offered me to get counseling. But I was in a denial stage and that I kept telling myself that I can put myself together. I realized I have a lot of unsolved baggages in heart, since childhood. I am thankful that I have a husband who quietly and patiently listens to me when bouts of depression happen. Sometimes I feel guilty of having these many baggages that I carried to my marriage. But I never thought I had them until recently, and my husband is patiently unloading it with me while praying for me and reminding me of God's goodness.
Dear Carla, thank you for bravely telling your story. Thank you for being brave for us. God bless you and heal you!
Dear Joe, thank you for telling your side of this story too!
God bless you both!
Mrs.Carla, thank you for sharing your struggles. It was such a relief that im not alone going the same as yours. I too was losing hope . I too felt that i was just existing. Im living in pain literally, i have an auto-immune disease
that makes me look so ugly & gives me pain in all my joints. But your words reminded me, existing to be loved by God is enough...made me cry out of joy💕 thank u, carla!
hugs
Crying while I was watching this. OUR GOD STAYS THE SAME in the midst of our troubles. HE WILL NOT LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US.
Thank u really for sharing ur mental battles & how u cope with it. I also experienced questioning God the purpose of my existence, asking my myself about my worth. Asking why I dont get that same level of love, attention, respect and kindness from the people I love. Thank God, He never gave up on me, He is faithful to His promise not to leave me. Thank u Rica & hubby, ur faith in God is such an inspiration. God bless u more❤️🙏
Same here , been through the same feelings and I never realized that it is a war inside us that needs to be confronted. I had a lot of realizations watching your vlog. I was feeling you and at the same time i was feeling myself. I cried a lot and it felt good too. Thank you for sharing ms. rica
I resonate with this so much. Thank you, Ms. Rica.
"Even if you will let Me go, I will NOT let you go."
Can't stop crying, but I thank God for letting me watch this Rica. To God be the glory!
Thank you, Ms. Rica, for sharing and for your supportive pastor, and to our loving God. . I am also diagnosed w Anxiety and Depression in 2018-2019 due to PTSD (Post Trauma Stress Disorder) brought about by physical and verbal abuse and I underwent a Psychiatrist, Psychologist & medication. And to sustain it I underwent Life Coaching for a natural medication. Today, I am now a Life Coach helping people find their strength from their desperation to become an inspiration. I also renewed my relationship with God, as I shine for him to be a light for others. I am also a Mental Health advocate and do personal Life Coaching. I am healed in helping others heal.
You are a God sent Rica❤️. This video helped my family a lot! God Bless You More!!!
❤️ this. Thank you for sharing your story, Ms. Rica. I understand where you are coming from. God is so good and wonderful. Thank you both for being a proof of His unwavering love. God bless you both 🌹
So blessed to hear this. I've been through a lot like you Ms Rica. Thank you for sharing your story of hope.God bless❤
This resonates with me a lot. Having one blow after another to feeling having no assurance from God, to being a parent, a wife, the challenges in marriage and in life in general.
Thank you Rica and Ptr Jo, may you continue to be the hands and feet of Jesus in facilitating His healing to a very wounded world. Salamat sa honesty niyo.
We need more like this, not just from you, but on a level that these kind of things need to be talked about openly with no stigma.
This is so beautiful. We are indeed living in a broken world where we get broken and we get lost sometimes but God’s Word is more than enough. His love reassures us. His presence brings peace. A shalom than this world cannot offer, but GOD CAN. Thank you for sharing. I am blessed and encouraged. 🙏
I'm crying. I'm happy you are okay now Ms. Rica. Thankful to Ms. Ida (if i heard her name right) for listening to you. One of my thank you Jesus also is how personal He is in dealing with our hearts. God bless you Ma'am.
One thing I learned about grief, is that it comes in waves. Sometimes, you are ok then it will hit you again.
Thank you for sharing your mental health journey. 🌈🌷🦋
Hi Rica.. Wow, you are so articulate with such deep thoughts on issues you have personally experiened! This is the first time i ever had the chance to view any of your vlogs! And i am very impressed, without realizing early on when you were still in showbiz that you are this expressive of your thoughts & feelings! May God continue blessing you & your family, especially your husband who truly loves you through the "thick & thin" of life! Stay safe..
Thank you so much for this vlog. Praise God. I really needed this. 🙏
Everytime you share Ms.Rica! Lagi pong tagos.I am thankful for your life!!!
grabe! That was so painful. So heartbreaking. Happy and glad that you were able to get through it. By His Grace and Love. 💓💕💓
omg thank you so much for sharing this🥲🥲🥲i’m in that state of mind. you can see me physically happy and healthy but my mental health is already broken .
Exactly what I am feeling when you said, when youre losing the original mind that you had...
same thoughts about giving up on God... But He lead me through your vlog . Thank you Rica for sharing your story.
Thanks Ms. Carla for that “Father relationship” I came to realize that I have also many of those moments, requesting God of something pero hindi napagbigyan, like watching in my very eyes my brother drowning and asking God to let Him live, but it’s a no, he died; that I get to stay to a place where I love to be, but God saying no, and calling me to another place I know that’s out of my comfort zone, that I get healed of a disease I am suffering from but end up getting operated, thank you! I kept crying,, God’s no, is not a denial, Tama, Kakampi pa din natin Siya, at the end of the day He’s our Father. Keep inspiring Ms. Carla and Ptr. Joe ☺️ Glory to God!
It's really amazing how God speaks to us through other people. God bless your family Pastor Joe and Rica!
What a powerful vlog! Thank you both for doing this. God bless you'll 🙏
Crying the whole time. God's will for you is to be whole and to be at peace with your whole parts. Though, I'm still in the process of healing from the traumas from the past. I just realized that we really need to process those and understand them and let God be God. Thank you! I always feel I found a friend and a mentor that seems close to me.
you said it so eloquently that only God's grace can make it so clear for all of us. thank you for this. i am claiming his fatherly love too!
Rica is such an authentic, sincere, articulate and eloquent storyteller... I cried a river... Thank you for the inspiration!
Thank you Ms. Rica for sharing your life's journey. Indeed, mental health really matters. ❤️
Thanks Rica for sharing your story. Wow this has just been so encouraging. It's always difficult bringing Christianity and God's will and mental health together and loving others through it... I cannot imagine what your heart was going through but I'm so thankful with you for God's peace and the wholeness He desires for us. Thank you for sharing this truly does help a lot!
You both are so inspiring as a couple. I saw you a few years ago with small Philip at every nation hatfield in South Africa and have been continually inspired and encouraged by your lives and love! All the best.
Thank you so much for sharing, Ms. Rica. I’m currently experiencing “crazy” moments and this vlog is really timely for me. Cried the entire vid and can relate sa “fatherhood pa rin?” 2021 na and still fatherhood pa rin. 😭😭😭
This is so beautiful ms. rica. Thanks for sharing!🥰
Thank you for this vlog/podcast Ms. Rica, so helpful. May God bless you and your family 🙏 and may He use as His Words' vessel 💜
Brought me to tears word per word. Thank you Bonis 🥺💗 It pierced me through my heart. Thank you Holy Spirit. Thank you Jesus, Thank you Abba!
Hi Carla! I can relate to you on so many levels: pregnancy, 2 kids, death of father who I also did not have a close relationship, feeling alone, depressed, pushing people away, and just holding it all in and not saying anything about how I am loosing myself. Then adding a bit more about when my mom got sick, and my family crumbling even more. It was just a lot. I am inspired by how you were able to get out of it, or I mean finding yourself back. Finding God and the faithfulness that brought you back to become whole again. I pray that someday, I am able to do that also and begin my healing process. I am thankful to my friend also who shared me this vlog of yours and I believe this is one of God's way of telling me that I am not alone, I am never alone. So, thank you and Thank You, God!
Wow! Thanks for putting everything I'm going and went through in words. ❤️