Alcoholism, Self-Sabotage, and Wokeness with Africa Brooke
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- Опубліковано 9 бер 2023
- My guest today is Africa Brooke. Africa is a London-based consultant, writer, and life coach. She is the host of the "Beyond the Self" podcast.
In this episode, we talk about her background growing up in Zimbabwe and her experience as an immigrant to the UK. We talk about her journey from alcoholism to sobriety. We talk about her essay, "Why I'm leaving the cult of wokeness?" We also talk about the notion of self-sabotage. Africa is essentially a life coach for high-profile clients and at some point, this conversation basically turns into a life coaching session for me. We talk about my own habits with alcohol, as well as the ways in which I might engage in self-sabotage. Africa seems to be very good at her job, and I hope you find something of value in this conversation.
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How about this. Go back to Africa. Blakc people in America have serious issues and the continent is moving toward the Eastern regime. Choose a side.
This was a very worthwhile conversation. I appreciate it and you for having her on.
Hide & tape the power cord for the “On Air” box.
Nothing compares
Her comments about the psychological impact of entering a majority white society and therefore feeling a sense of her own difference/“race”, to me, confirms a point that I’ve been arguing for years: that white people are often criticized for functioning on a default assumption of their own “primacy”, which is unfair, in a sense, because that’s how people in any relatively homogenous society think.
Watch a video of white people entering an African village. The children think they are monsters.
I feel the mainstream focuses on a "hot topic" of minorities. Meaning that, it only takes a handful of people to make comments about a minority group before it goes viral and becomes the next big thing for certain people to "speak up" for. As a white guy from Australia, racial oppression in our history is very real and has been quite brutal and savere at times, but our history is very different from Americas (not better or worse, just different). I feel it's important to acknowledge and understand this history and take it upon myself to take opinions and action, but not to polarise groups of any kind as the individual has always been the most important thing to me. In my line of work, I come across more people from Asia than any other continent and some (individuals) have gone as far to say, their words, not mine, that "I'm from the orient, but not allowed to be oriental" which has stuck with me from the first time I heard it. Being surrounded by a few woke people, I found the homogenisation with racial groups in Western culture in general very striking.
Not sure how much this relates to your thoughts or comments, but felt these insights were worth saying.
Growing up in a very diverse place I didn’t understand this. It makes sense for people who didn’t.
Exactly. I haven't been to Africa, but it would be a very different orientation to be a minority in another country. Shoot, I am in the minority now where I live because the demographics have changed, even though I have been here the longest, along with a couple others. I don't like it since it's a language, and cultural thing.
@@InsaneCarville I never did get the "oriental", or "orientalism" word thing as being bad. I grew up with those words and they were not bad, or derogatory words at all. "Asian" just means "oriental" to me.
Both the camera and the microphone love her.
Poor Coleman might too... Def a flirt vibe going on here (a mature one, but yeah)... Sorry Coleman... I'm a big fan, a Patreon supporter, and I'm not trying to get you in trouble with your current GF. But yeah...2 smart, inquisitive people making sparks, little cross-the-pond chemistry with a beautiful, confident soul.... I'd be a hypocrite to criticize him.
My point exactly! 🤗
Lol, I noticed the flirt vibe also. She is stunning.
The sound was sort of crackly on her. Clipping or distorted. That’s a sound issue, not a her issue, though.
I listen to her all the time to calm down lol
So few people seem to have the capacity to be truly honest with themselves nowadays. Africa is a wonderful example of productive self-awareness. I hope and pray that it’s contagious.
Two great people.
And Jesus, if I was her I'd be looking in the mirror 24/7.
How beautiful can someone be.
Yes! I would be unashamedly mirror obsessed! lol
My first thought when seeing her: Don't do this... it doesn't look feminine. I'm just being honest.
@@elisabeth4342 your opinion. For me in this case it doesn't matter. She's damn beautiful.
@@fronthorse I think she's very pretty. But her look isn't feminine. I know a couple of natural female bodybuilders - ripped, vascular, musclebound young women - that look more feminine than her (her style). The hair makes a difference - especially on a pretty with feminine facial features.
When I date her, I'll make sure she grows an afro, just for you x.
I really like her. She seems to have a "meta" worldview that encourages people to look up and forward instead of getting mired inward and sedentary in the self. There's a real peace to it.
She's a cultural hybrid in a beautiful way. Some of the world's greatest minds have multi assimilated between totally different worlds and came out powerful people.
Maybe it's because I'm old, but I would love to see these two beautiful souls get married and start an amazing family!
I'd almost be willing to bet on it LoL.
Me too! And I'd want to babysit the gorgeous babies they pop out. lol
I'd pay to see it happen.
The sparks were DEFINITELY flying! 🥰
i see i'm not the only one that felt a certain chemistry between them
Few women can pull off bald. She does!
Yep. It's the beautiful, darker skinned lithe ones with long, slender necks that seem to be able to pull it off. When they are younger that is.
Do you hear yourselves?
@@altawalker29 Yes!
she'd look better with hair
@@pabs5270 No doubt.
the self sabotage part really hit home also the self torture part of just having one drink
I love the way she expresses herself.
You just keep surprising me Coleman!! Making our people proud!! ❤
"you are not your thoughts u can play the role of being an observer"...now i will have to hold on to this one!
That is an example of someone that is truly connected with her center.
Africa Brooke is a wonderful human being. Thank you for the interview.
I always hated trying to leave a social gathering before it was over. Then one day, I just said “I’m leaving now, have a good time!” And it was kind of a joke, but no one questioned me and it felt so good. Now I do it everytime and I honestly think it makes me seem mysterious. 😂
Haha yeah, the number of times I was done with socialising during a particular get together but clung on for various reasons. Cheerful cheerio
Congratulations you have become an adult 👏 ... I had to learn this lesson myself now I love being the first one to leave or at least the second. People don't really care.
@@johnnyfive9815 I’ve been leaving social gatherings like that since I was 19. I’m 32 so I’ve been an adult for awhile. 😂
@@nakedholerat I didn't really learn this lesson until my 30s, and it came when I was with my extended family (Uncle and his family) and for the entire time I was there I felt like I had nothing in common with these people, and half way through the evening I just gave up worrying about whether I was going to be polite or not and just said "thanks, but I think I'm going to head off now." And they were fine with it. And I was a lot happier.
We have a lot of West African families in our church. I love the family culture. Everyone looks after everyone and if you need a break there's half a dozen people who will happily offer it.
The discussion on self sensoring and what to say about someone's haircut. If I don't like it, I just say cheerfully, it really suits you.
What a gorgeous woman, inside and out.
I'm only a few minutes in and I just have to say how beautiful she is and her voice and her confidence! Looking forward to hearing her perspectives!!!
Beautiful insightful and inspiring convo, Coleman and Africa. Many many thanks.
You guys are pioneers right now.
Pioneers in what?
I described this conversation using those same words...
@@DJJonPattrsn22 Sort yoor life owt.
Africa is wise beyound her yers. I suffer from anxiety and mood disorders. I have gone to drs for years and really have not improved. Her talk of setting strong internal boundries made me realize that one has to be internally strong and self assured. Wish you would have her on often. She should write a book
Yes! Africa!!
Not an alcoholic, in fact, I rarely drink anymore. But totally resonated with the "you can be black out drunk and no one else even knows you're drunk" bit. I've been there, more than a few times, where people are like "oh, you're fine!" and *I* know that I'm going to have piecemeal memory the next day.
Looking forward to this! Initial thought: Yes! Wokeness is rooted in the post-modern victim/perpetrator rubric where the declared victim seeks concessions from the declared perpetrator. This can only be win/lose. Real value creation can only be win/win. Clinging and doubling down on this worldview undermines creativity and frames the victim in their own minds as perpetually inferior.
I have mixed race children, but not black, if that matters. I would never tell them, even if they were black, to worry about changing everyone else. I'm teaching them that what they do matters. No excuses. If you go and get an MD for instance, no matter the obstacles, you will have a better life than if you don't. And if some people are against you then falling into a self-defeating victim would just let them win anyway.
I highly recommend watching Ayaan Hirsi Ali's, "The Market for Victimhood". On UA-cam.
@@Platinum1812 My wife and I raised a mixed family. I told my kids not to let anyone stop them from doing what they wanted, and that can they be whatever they set their ambition to be. After they went through the college mill, I became their enemy for ever telling them this. Parents are demonized in this world.
@@basicforge I'm sorry to hear that, it is hard (probably impossible) to discuss these issues with young people that have a dozen PHD's all telling them the same thing and then they throw a Scientific American article in your face that is also telling them the same thing. I think back to when I was in college and honestly it's hard to blame the kids themselves for thinking the problem must be us given what is arrayed against us. Hopefully yours will come around soon. There is the saying that a young conservative has no heart and an old liberal has no brain, or something like that.
@@Platinum1812 Thank you.
Some women can really pull off the no hair look. Wow. Beautiful woman and a really inspiring story.
Is it the cheekbones or the smile or the musical laughter?
There are so few podcasters at the calibre of Coleman who are as humble or as honest as he is (maybe Lex, but I think he's just a huge pothead). Given that, it's not surprising he's struggling with self-promotion as an artist. That's not a knock. People value you for who you are, what you do, and exactly how you are doing it. Stay the course, Coleman! For our sake!
I was wondering about that. I've only watched one Lex podcast (Ex Scientology). He seemed either really sleepy or stoned.
I think Lex codes literally all night often and sleeps very little around his ridiculous schedule of work and exercise and podcasting. I don’t think he smokes (as someone who used to a lot and twigs people being even a little stoned easily usually) but I may be wrong
@@adamdrakestudio What does "twigs people..." mean? That last part made no sense.
@@serpentines6356 it’s an expression to mean to realise or realize if I’m to assume the nationality of the person I’m replying to. Making no sense was a bit strong.
Thank you for having Africa on! She’s one of my role models despite the fact she’s young enough to be my daughter.
When I was young, growing up in the 60’s/70’s everyone talked to their neighbors, fed and disciplined their neighbors’ kids 😂 and just lived almost in a communal way. When we talk about the tribal aspect of blacks in the US today it’s with negativity because of gang violence but there’s an inherent beauty in tribalism and Africa has taught me that through her story.
I can't thank you both enough for this conversation. There's so much substance, openness and vulnerability along side with maturity and wisdom. It's like having a really good, healthy and sturdy meal that you don't want to end. 🤗 Thank you!!
I can honestly say that I have sabotaged myself multiple times and I am very blessed to have a husband who is not letting me go down that path
It's so telling about human psychology that the most adequate person I have ever seen and heard had feelings of inadequacy. She's the type of person (now) who makes everyone else feel inadequate!
BoomXer here. I had the privilege of growing up in a 99% AA community and both my parents experienced the Jim Crow South. I can relate to Africa's experience of not being hyper aware of my race. Today's Black children are fed a constant diet of victimization and disempowerment. And for that, I am grateful. 😊❤
I know nothing about your music but i'm definitely a fan of your interview style
I love the part about leaving, reaching for a drink to make yourself stay, or giving yourself the courage to communicate. This is one of the best conversations on alcohol as an 'assistant' to 'be', and also belong, I have ever heard. I have learned to enjoy all of my social encounters sober and without drinking now. "It's a constant practice" is so beautifully correct and wise! Love this revelation!
Africa is one of the most radiantly insightful, intelligent and graceful individuals I have ever had the good fortune to listen to. Thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. Thank you both for sharing your wisdom and using your experiences and insights to help others. 💛
I think this is my all time favorite episode- Thank you both
Am I the only one sensing a lovely chemistry between them?!
Love her attitude and confidence.
The vulnerability of this conversation has definitely kept me engage.
That was a great honest podcast with simply two people exploring ideas and trying to find solutions to questions they have about themselves and their interactions with the world. Well done and thoroughly enjoyable.
Wow! Just wow! 😍
I found Africa Brooke a few years ago when I saw her in another interview. I was immediately moved by how kind, caring, and smart she was. There's just something magnetic about her personality. I am not one for self-help books but if she wrote one, I would absolutely read it.
Glad to find you on UA-cam! And with beautiful visuals!
She may have looked different, but my word! She's beautiful!
Different how, when, where?
@@jadaaleeshamindexpert7365 According to a comment in the interview, not a determination by yours truly.
Thank you Africa Brooke for sharing your story, you represent the beauty of what the human spirit is capable of. Your introspect is exemplary!
She’s pretty Queenly. Hard to imagine her on any kind of “bender”
She is spectacular! Thank you, Coleman!
Great guest. She has a stunning outlook on things.
I loved this, but for me, it was especially when Coleman brought up how people react when they hear that someone doesn't want to drink. I'm 47, & while I can't stand this term, I am a teetotaler. I've always, from a very young age, equated drinking with morality, & I also saw how drinking affected my parents & their friends...& society at large, so not drinking was one of the several tenets I wrote on a piece of binder paper at age 8 or 9 that I live by to this day. It was stuff like never drink or do drugs, don't lie or cheat...those sorts of fundamental bits. My wife is a drinker, & I do not expect others not to drink, but I've certainly found that others expect me to drink. Coleman nailed my experiences...lived experience - in a high pitched effeminate valley-girl/boy accent....people will either ask if I'm in recovery or they'll simply say, loudly, "WHY?!?!???" The concept of simply not drinking, & especially never drinking throughout one's life, is as alien in America as a Xenomorph. I had to Google Xenomorph as I couldn't recall the name, because I'm not a freaking dork.
Where I am it's no big deal not to drink. People won't bug you. I am in "wine country" but a lot of people are also "recovered alcoholics". Or, always in recovery as they say.
So glad I came across your podcast. Great conversations
I've come to expect outstanding conversations from this channel. This one exceeded my expectations.
she's just lovely -reminds me of the grace of Iman
Amazing woman. Amazing conversation. I’m so grateful for your content Colemam. Thank you.
Thank you for exposing me to this person. Great conversation and looking forward to checking out and diving into her podcast.
A joy to listen. Africa is full of grace, and a beautiful soul- transcending wisdom. As are you- thank you for allowing us to soak up the richness of this conversation…thank you for speaking truth to power or comfort!
Your content has been on fire lately. Love this interview w Africa Brook and her amazing story. I also loved the round table discussion and I think we would all like to see more of that format!
So glad you brought up that thing about not blocking folks on Twitter. I think the first time you really explored that was with the panel a week ago, and Africa’s advice was just what I would have added to that conversation (she said it more articulately, as she does). Great episode, man. Keep up the good work.
Absolutely, knowing about when to leave ..well said Africa.
Beautiful, insightful, inspiring & very sincere conversation!
Thank you so much!
I totally feel that it takes a village to raise a child. Im a Western single Mum but have lots of friends from different cultures and whenever I was with them, my child also became theirs and responsibility was shared and I was raised up as a mother. Unfortunately these people were not around often and i was stuck raising two children in a western world where the expectation is that as a single Mum you will carry on regradless despite exhaustion. Its sad that western mothers cannot access the same love and support that most other cultures that are not Westernised. I honestly feel I would have been able to achieve so much more if I wasnt constantly exhausted all the time.
Totally relate to Africa's story - my dad also had a really serious drinking problem, and I also started to go the same way as a young teenager - so at the age of 25 I had already been an alcoholic for 10 years. That was when I started to make a loving effort to heal my wounds and traumas instead of destroying myself as a distraction from the pain. Realising that I actually liked myself and was actually perfectly happy to sit and be with myself without needing an escape was the ground-breaking realisation that really changed my trajectory. Meditation got me there. Africa's story and her positive energy are inspiring, and her honesty and courage in talking about all this is incredible. Thank you Africa and Coleman for this wonderful discussion.
what a beautiful (not only internally but physically!) woman...and what depth of insight/intelligence/wisdom and compassion she simply embodies! i haven't delineated my impression yet, but whatever she's "doing" (not only here but in conducting herself generally in life) is what we need to do if we are to ever dig ourselves out of the angst/behavior currently dividing us and making so many of us miserable. thanks for this ep!!
Another great conversation. Thanks guys 👏
What a fascinating, insightful, and beautiful person.
What a productive, wonderful conversation. Keep it up!
I definitely resonate with Africa Brooke on so many levels.
For one thing I spent about 2½ years living in rural Ethiopia leaving on my 11th birthday. Clearly Ethiopia & Zimbabwe are two entirely different countries; but there are certainly a number of cultural characteristics that are shared among most African nations.
All of my best & closest friends were Ethiopian. I spent as much time with them as I could which was almost always "out & about" (in their domain); and it had an enormous & profound lasting effect on me and how I see myself, humanity, life and the world.
Just started the interview, and wow she's gorgeous!
What an amazing podcast, love love loved listening to this, two beautiful amazing and honest humans.
I also want to add this lady is very smart and has great self esteem. This helps her navigate life with few issues.
As always, superlative!! She's a wonderful guest!!
two amazing humans. Gives me hope
This was so enjoyable, it felt like the conversation flew by in 5 minutes. The similarities in both of their personalities, speech cadence, some sort of a symmetry in the communication - I don't know what it is, but I could listen for another 2 hours.
enjoyed listening to two well-spoken people
I love your show.
what a lovely informative guest.
Ok. I finished. In fact my wife wore one and I another earbud and we started over.
Africa Brooke, a name to remember!! Thank you Coleman. I thoroughly enjoyed the terrain you two covered.
I would characterize as ‘courageous’ the honesty from both. Coleman’s willingness to discuss his own drinking, the when and why. Africa too on a different level. Then near the end, discussing the loss of perfect composure, knowing it drops a veil of ‘reputation’. Good stuff!
And I admire a person who refuses to abandon the field even when he knows he isn’t punching as hard as he could or should be when under pressure. We all wish words would come then and probably even Larry Elder gets flummoxed, though its hard to imagine.
I think Coleman, your refusal to abandon the field may be ego as you say, but its a good sort that says I owe it to the ideas and positions I’m defending. I owe it to the world to show mine are more positive and the alternative’s are good for no one but the ‘presenter’ on the opposite side. Ego, or allegiance to the truth. If a little of both then still a positive stubbornness, me thinks.
Thank You. Good chemistry you two!
Wow, her story is scarily similar to mine. I gained insight into my own addiction listening to her. Good episode. Also, her laugh is beautiful.
Loved Africa
this is very informative and educational. thank you for sharing.
Coleman you interview the most interesting people. ❤
I did not know Coleman was a musician! That's great!
Extremely fruitful conversation!
I grew up in the Dutch countryside, and what she says sounds so familiar. I never knew that I was "white". I did encounter dark skinned people, but I never thought of them as from another "race". I just knew that they were from a country far away, and that this is why they look the way they look. There was never a value judgement in this. My dad worked at a NATO base, where there were American soldiers. Only looking back, I realise that some were "black" and some were "white". At the time to me they were just Americans. My dad also volunteered at a refugee centre, and introduced me to African kids. I had a crush on a girl from Somalia. Yes, I realised her skin was a lot darker than mine, but that was just because she was from far away. It never occurred to me that that implied any other difference between us.
It was mostly through American TV that I became aware of the concept of "race". And I hate what that did to me. It conditioned my mind into being very aware of someone's "race", and makes me constantly wonder whether this fact affects the way I relate to them.
Coleman.You listen well,you ask good questions and you make necessary additional comments.Go man go.
1:00:30 I forget that connection isn't always easy and that i might have to work at its sometimes. Great insight 👍
Really enjoyed this. Excellent insight on conversations and social anxiety
Excellent interview!!!! Two of my favorite people. I see an Africoleman collaboration in the future.....
THIS EPISODE SHOULD BE TITLED THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE TALKING SENSE!
Excellent interview.
Great conversations 💜
Great conversation guys - great to see two young, and brilliant, black people rejecting the yoke of wokery.
Normal. How extraordinarily normal. I am comforted and reassured of what is possible when the ego is not calling the shots.
this woman is BEAUTIFUL.
inside AND out.
It can be beneficial to people to be engaged in the world and applying themselves to gaining more knowledge. Those just have to be positive and productive things
Great interview.
I think Africa does a great description of London. I m originally for the northern part of the uk. The best way to freak some one out on he London underground is to be nice o them.
SHARED BURDEN of Having a BABY on a Plane ! Interesting, cultural difference ... there was recently a "viral clip" of three (white) grandmothers on a plane who helped an overwhelmed mom by entertaining (and quieting) her baby - shown as inspirational act of love... which it may be, but apparently "common" in smarter cultures.
People did this for me on a short flight I had with two babies under 2. It was great.
What she is saying about drinking is so true. It's also true for other types of self-medicating self sabotage, including over eating, shopping, gambling, sex addiction, etc. I could relate to some of her story.
Definitely this was on the lighter side of all the conversations that I’ve listened to with Coleman so far. Although as I write that I’m wondering why I used the phrase “lighter side.” Not sure because some of the topics were important and serious. Maybe it was because I’m used to guests with a lot of academic credentials, books written, etc. I’m glad I stuck with it.
Bang on 👍
What a stunning woman!