Current Anxiety & Intrusive Thoughts - Kinda A Life Update?
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- Опубліковано 16 гру 2021
- It's a lil messy, but I want this channel to be honest and this is about as honest as its possible for me to get while knowing people will see it, so I hope someone is able to feel perhaps comforted or at least a little less alone due to this.
Oh my goodness! I know this horror of thinking that if I don’t do a thing something bad will/might have happened. I also have thoughts of casual homicide. Not super comforting.
It’s really inconvenient if I need to focus on doing a task.
And anxiety about uncommiting to things that bring on anxiety. I get that! A lot of what you share I really relate to.
I bought a mama goat a 5 day old babies last year and was sooo anxious. I was worrying to my mom on the phone and she asked what I was worried about. “That they’ll die!!!” Of course! I didn’t sleep well for a month until I got a baby monitor out in their barn. I was waking and walking to the barn at night to check on them. Stuff does happen!
Dana, you are not alone!! I understood and experienced every word you said! I can't say I've improved over the years but I can say that I've been married 46 years and I married the right guy who loves me through all of it. I don't think my mom understood me, but my children do, especially since I've got a couple of grandchildren with autism. I said the other day to my youngest daughter, "I can't do it, because I'm too uncomfortable", (it was an extended family party), and she said, "I know mom...it is okay!" That meant a lot to me. If someone doesn't understand, they aren't the right person to have in your life. I could write a BOOK about my thoughts and feelings. I will share that I have always had this thing, since I was a child where I think I'm having a nice time with my family or friends, and when we leave, I start asking my husband, "Did I talk to much? Did I sound dumb? Did I make sense? Do you think they had a good time?" etc. It is a struggle. Please, know there are many that understand what you are going through daily. Whether it makes sense to others, it makes sense to you and us that experience it.
Thank you so much for this comment! It's so lovely to not feel alone, and its a big relief that I'm not the only one leaving a great time and overthinking everything! I wish none of us had to deal with these things, but its so good to feel understood!
this video was super helpful to me. I have a friend who is very brave in telling me when she is having such intrusive thoughts and I had been unable to really understand. I see now that its a scarily anxiety filled experience and that maybe the best I can do will be to ask what I can do to help instead of me thinking "this is my friend. she's amazing. why does she think this?!" Much gratitude and respect as always Dana!
It's so easy done when we have great friends that are going through a bad time, they're brilliant so why don't they see it!? I'm sure your friend hugely appreciates you trying to understand though, too often half the battle is having people just dismiss you without even attempting to see where you're coming from!
PS. dishes are just a nightmare. I've spent tons of money buying microwavable paper plates and bowels and even plastic utensils just to avoid the fear of not having things to eat off of when its MY FAULT when i dont. its just a struggle. I appreciate that you even talked about it.
This makes me feel so incredibly seen... You said you don't have many friends, and neither do I, but you're being a friend right now by making me not feel alone. Thank you!
Whoa 😳 I literally made a post THE OTHER DAY on a private online support group (of women with autism) about my Intrusive thoughts! And I fully don't expect you to believe that because it's just such an insane coincidence! For me to do that because my Intrusive thoughts were killing me off and then yesterday see your video! 🤯😂
I've watched all of your videos and you're my actual favourite person on UA-cam. Thats a big deal, UA-cam's big 😂 This isn't me fangirling lmao! I don't fangirl 🙈 But I want to tell you that not only can I relate so strongly to your videos like this where you just talk, (like, scarily relate), I want you to know you're making a real difference 🙂
I have the most disturbing Intrusive thoughts that give me a racing heart and what honestly feels like clinical depression for a moment. I can't talk about them in any detail. One thing I know through research is that Intrusive thoughts are very much linked to OCD.
I don't know if you know Dan here on UA-cam with the chanel "The Aspie World"? He says he has autism and OCD, as well as a few other disorders/difficulties. I just thought I'd mention that because I've come to learn that OCD does seem to be something that's so often seen in individuals with ASD. I get why, but I won't go into it because my comment is already essay length ...again 😅
What's unfortunate is that if I just had better social skills/mainly better ability to travel alone I wish I could meet you and just sit and talk, because I'm going through this right now too and I've hit a bit of a wall in my life. I'm 27 and honestly feel like a failure of an adult 🙃
You articulate yourself and your thoughts really well, and honestly, so do I! 😂 Listening to you actually feels like listening to my own self talk, only yours is done bravely infront of a camera and making a real difference 🙏
A trick I want to try (had this idea a few hours ago) and I'm sharing it incase it helps you or anyone else - Maybe I can tame my inner critic and love myself more if I treat myself like I treated my first greyhound, Grace. I loved her with my whole heart and I related to her timidness, anxiety and goofiness lmao! She was this tall, leggy, clumsy, blonde, adorable girl who you just wanted to nurture and love because she NEEDED you 🥰 She was frightened of her own shadow bless her, and definitely could not be a 100% independent dog! 😂 But my mom and I could've burst with love for her and we wouldn't change a thing about her. All her quirks made her perfect just the way she was 💖 I was a kid who was unaware of my autism and I related to her 'pawsonality' so much 😂💖
If I think of her every time I make a mistake and go to be horrible to myself, I'll stop in my tracks because I could never talk to that beautiful girl the way I talk to myself. You know how people say "What would you say to your inner child?" Well that one doesn't work as well for me because I dislike myself so much that I'm not a huge fan of inner kid me either 😂🤷🏻♀️ But I loved and adored that beautiful greyhound girl with my whole entire heart ♥ So i'll give that a try and see how it goes 😅
For some people it's not how you'd talk to an inner child or a best friend, I think it has to be someone you love with your entire being and for a lot of people, that might be an animal or a pet 🤷🏻♀️💖
If we lived closer and became friends we'd no doubt have the deepest conversations, and probably both be so exhausted afterwards 😂 But We'd also both leave feeling validated and not alone 😊 I hope you know you're not alone, Dana! Life's a piece of sh!t and every single one of your feelings are valid, real and important 🌼
I've been having so many bizarre coincidences in my life lately that I fully believe you!
I'm so relieved people are able to relate to this video, despite that I also hate that other people are having to deal with it, it's by far the most nerve-racking one I've posted yet and I very nearly didn't post it at all, so its lovely for you to say I'm making a difference by doing it!
I've never watched Dan, I still totally need to explore the other UA-camrs making similar content to mine, but I'm also worried about then being influenced by them! A little silly, but a concern all the same haha. I love your 'essay length' comments though! I'm still quite surprised I get any views and comments at all, so its extra amazing to get long and well thought out ones!
Aw Grace sounds like the greatest dog ever, and its a great twist on the 'love your inner child' thing, which doesn't work for me either, I think trying to talk to myself like a friend would work better, but I always forget to do it in the moment!
The downside to the Internet is finding the perfect people to befriend but being super far away, if you ever want to chat on any social media feel free to message me! I always love reading and replying to your comments so I'm sure we'd have some great conversations privately!
@@DanaAndersen Awh bless you Dana thank you so much for your reply 🥰 I'm glad my essay comments aren't a drag! 😂 I try to make sure they read well and don't have typos 🤦🏻♀️😂
Grace was indeed the best dog in the world, thank you for saying that 🥰 How you'd talk to your friend is definitely more effective for me than the inner child one, too! And same, the self criticism is like a reflex for me 🙈
I saw your more recent video where you said you hadn't been feeling great, you were doing your makeup and I could so relate to the way you were feeling based on the video! I'm sorry you haven't been feeling so good! And I'm definitely sorry you ever feel anxious to put out your content! I know I can't say "don't feel anxious" cause I know I'd be exactly the same, but as an outsider I can promise you that you come across brilliantly and you shouldn't be in any way ashamed of your genuine, honest content 🙂 I'm (pretty) confident that I speak for all your subscribers when I say your videos are a huge help 🌷
Thank you so much! You have mentioned to me about dropping you a private message on social media before and I'm so glad you're open to that 😊 I wouldn't spam you lmao but it's awesome to know that's an option 🙂
I hope you've had an amazing Christmas btw! With as little stress and sensory difficulties as possible 🎄☃️😌 As always take care of yourself and remember that you matter! 😇
Part of my "routine" is to find all of the exits for every building I enter.
I wouldn't be able to explain it the way you just did in this video but I really relate. A lot of it for me is issues with self-worth and self-sabotage and ''just who I am and what I am doing'' more than anything. I guess a lot of it comes from how we process things and the enviroment around us, let alone how we guess how is best to interact with it... We live in a very chaotic (and often depressing) world especially at the moment and I think we blame ourselves for it, when the problem is far more structural. I am really burnt out at the moment and that add it's complications. Actually had to call in my job at Royal Mail a few days earlier than I wanted despite doing 10 less hours per week than 2 years ago because of burnout, fatigue and the rest of it, but I don't feel bad as I did what I could and that's the most important thing. Live at your own pace, try to do at least one thing that makes your home or life a little better each day and the rest seems to fall into place.
I know it's cliche but a lot of mental health issues are really just in our heads, everyone else is more or less oblivious or even dealing with their own version of it with it's contradictions and messy feelings. The world may not be flexible on these things but we should be flexible in ourselves. I am not so sure where I am going with this but if you feel down, remember the good memories with those around you, they are likely missing you as well, just life gets in the way. Also have a Merry Christmas!
It blows my mind how many of us are dealing with the same mental issues, it just takes one person to speak up and suddenly it seems like a totally ordinary thing everyones been through or going through, which only backs up your point of a lot of it being structural and the world we live in!
Doing what we can is definitely the most important thing, and it sounds like you did amazingly even with the burnout and everything else. Living at my own pace is definitely one I need to keep in mind too, thank you for your comment and I hope you had a lovely Christmas and new year!
@@DanaAndersen Yeah you are right, it is very powerful what channels like yours are doing. It took the pandemic to make me realise, it was not my fault that I was struggling to function well enough in this world, I feel normal (for lack of a better word) when life is slower paced, like it is in the countryside or a smaller town.
I am honestly not sure how I worked like I did, I guess it was because it had a specific end date and that they gave me space. I work in bursts and that's not often predictable. Trying not to mask as much which is it's own learning curve. Luckily have loads of time to recover now as I finally got my PIP and extra Universal Credit!
I lost my Nan literally a year ago so we tried to have a good holiday but it wasn't the same unfortunately, still dealing with it, naturally it's exhausting and luckily my family mostly knew to give me some space. It's slowly getting easier as time passes though. Anyway, I hope you had a good Christmas and New Year too and I look forward to your content this year :)
They’ve done surveys and stuff and actually most people do you have intrusive thoughts, it’s just that people with anxiety or OCD obsess about the intrusive thoughts. When most people have intrusive thoughts, it’s not super often and they can ignore it and go about their day, but people with anxiety or specifically OCD can’t ignore it and it just controls their life. I have lots of intrusive thoughts about things and I have OCD and it is not fun at all. Even though I know that the intrusive thoughts aren’t going to happen, it’s still so hard to ignore them. I don’t know if you have OCD or not, but if you do what has really helped me has been exposure and response prevention therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy. There are a lot of videos online talking about it and I just thought I would mention that to see if that might help. A lot of my intrusive thoughts revolve around death and what if there’s something horrible after death and catastrophe is happening in that kind of stuff, and recently I realize that it’s some thing that I don’t have any control over and I just have to come to except it or else I’m going to be miserable my whole life. It’s really hard to get to that place, but that’s how I’ve tried coping with it. Also, I have read that OCD and autism are seen together a lot.
I definitely have some signs/symptoms of OCD, but haven’t spoken to any medical professionals about it or gotten a diagnosis so wouldn’t want to just say/decide I do have it. I’ll definitely have a look at some videos on the things you’ve recommended though, thank you for the help and thoughtful comment!
@@DanaAndersen yeah, that’s good to try not to self diagnose when possible. Whether or not it’s OCD, I hope it gets better and doesn’t affect your life so negatively in the future.