I was married to a smoker for 34 years (he passed away 6 years ago) All those years he always went out to the garage and smoked, if we were driving we would stop somewhere and he would get out for a few minutes to smoke a little. The smell always made me so sick and he respected that, never once did he ever have an attitude about doing that. I was very blessed.
I'm a smoker and I know I and my house smell. It is so hard to quit. I just tried quitting about a month ago. It didn't last long but I am going to try to quit again. When I quit for a week I didn't need my two inhalers. Now I'm back needing them again. Ugh I veas shocked in one video when I saw he was smoking. Have a great time with your friends tonight. ❤
When my Dad tried to quit, he had a friend who had stopped smoking and he asked him how did you do this? His friend said, well I just put the package in my pocket and I would take the cigarettes out and smell them and put them back in my pocket, so my Dad did this and he stopped smoking! This worked, hope it will help you! 💖👍
When I dated I would never date a smoker. I haven’t smoked for 32 years now. It’s a good rule to have for many reasons lol. Loved this story! Thank you for sharing!
Omgosh,..if that is "fussy" then I am the fussiest. I have a long list of what I won't put up with. And am perfectly happy if I live the rest of my life alone. It's good to know yourself and what you want around you.
Thank you for sharing. I think any addiction is awful for those of us who are not addicted. I’ve often wondered how marriage between a smoker and a non-smoker can work. You’ve done the right thing. ❤
Ya it doesn’t work well with one smoking and one ever smoked in my life! At one point, I had to put my foot down, cuz my 2 boys didn’t smoke nor did I but the only one person out of 4 smoking was stinking up the house, clothes, and not to mention all the second hand smoke my boys and I were taking in! So he started smoking in the garage which was the best decision ever! Eventually he got lazy to get up at commercials and go smoke in the cold garage, so he smoked way less than before! Then over the years he got bladder cancer which is directly associated with cigarette smoking! So he had no choice but quit as he was too embarrassed to go see the doc or tell family and Friends that he was still smoking! Best decision he ever did! Cancer did not spread through the bladder walls so it was contained, scraped of it and I believe it’s been 20 years now or close to and cancer free! Bladder cancer is a reoccurring cancer and it did come back once or twice, but hasn’t now for many years. Up until a few weeks ago, he’d get a cancer check every 6 months then a year, now the doc said he doesn’t have to get checked anymore! So unless he starts bleeding again, he doesn’t need to go back to see him! So, no, u can’t have one smoker in the house amongst non smokers, doesn’t work well at all! Glad Darlene did the right thing, why should she take in 2nd hand smoke and smell like an ashtray! Good for her,
I feel the same way about smokers both in a relationship and even as roommates. I've found that regardless of what they say to work with you on not smoking and agreements, they violate it. It's a no go for me.
I love this! Not being fussy at all unless I’m fussy too because I utterly despise the smell of smoke it’s so gross my mom smoked and thought no one knew lol she was trying to hide it but there is no hiding that especially in the house ! Good for you
Darlene, I want to tell you that you are NOT too fussy and nothing wrong with setting boundaries. If you don't pay attention we end up in relationship regrets. Tough enough for all of us to put ourselves out there but then to step backwards and find another shithead?! Life is way too short. Love your channel, ideas, quilting, and sharing with us some of your personal "stuff" Have fun dancing!
Well, Darlene, smoking and drinking is a hard NO! I'm the same my eyes water, it gets in my throat and then I start coughing. I think the stink alone is enough to run away! Lol😂 It's not a picky thing! 💯 Thanks for sharing!
Try recommending Vaping. I quit smoking years ago this way. At first, I was doing both (smoking & vaping) then gradually cut out smelly, messy, toxic cigs. The are SO expensive now too, $15.00 a pack! Insane. Vape “juice” has different %s of nicotine so I have gradually decreased nicotine levels. Goal = o% nicotine. Take care & God Bless ❤
You have such a good outlook on others with addictions. They are lucky to have you as a friend. Your are non-judgemental about their tribulations but you have every right to have boundaries.
I’m a smoker, but I have not smoked in my home in over 30 years, (I do still smoke). I always go outside to have a cigarette. I do notice the smell on others, I’ve always been cognizant of it on me. I am a fan of sprays on my clothes, and in my vehicle. Non smokers don’t smell smoke in my car. I couldn’t ever be in a home where someone smokes, yuk! Good for you, sounds like he just didn’t care.
You need (may not want) a " Stories I Can't Tell On UA-cam " journal. 😂 You could use it as a reminder to stay true to yourself and hold on to your boundaries. I agree with so many of your reasonings, especially the drinking and smoking issues. I think your my long lost sister I never had 😂.
Oh! Darlene, you've shared that your father was a lobsterman. Did he fish year-round or was there an off season? I just finished a book about Christopher Knight, who camped year-round in the Maine woods for 27 years & when the winter weather was described, I thought of your dad. Wishing you & Joe & Rocket & your whole family a wonderful, cooler & refreshing November from la belle province du Quebec.
Setting boundaries is important and not wanting to put your own health and comfort at risk is NOT being "fussy". Good for you for knowing your worth and that you deserve to be treated better than smoker man was willing to treat you.
Your lungs your right to say No. I actually have Chronic Asthma now because the nursing home my mom was in for a week, they smoked so bad . I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital cause they thought I was having a heart attack . It was a reaction to cigarette smoke ,me just walking down the hall and staying with mom. I was so sick . Breathing treatments and now permanent inhaler . I ripped my mother out of there the next day No smokers or drinkers in my life or on my property period ! So Fussy ! Its ok to be Fussy its your health. Have fun tonight . Love from Texas
I feel the same as you regarding smoking. When I bought my house there was a widow that lived across the road from me. She welcomed me to the neighborhood immediately and asked me over to meet and have coffee & visit. I enjoyed visiting with her but .....she was a chain smoker. After about 2 times of going over there I had to start refusing her invitations because I would get such a headache from the smoke. And I would basically strip my clothes off the minute I walked in my house and take a shower. I knew if I asked her to come to my house she would smoke here too so that was not an option for me. I also like an occasional trip to casinos. I was sooooo happy that when Covid happened and the venues reopened here , the tribal Indian casinos here in Michigan went completely smoke free. It's so much better and enjoyable. Have a great week Darlene!!
I really appreciate this. I am a smoker and do not plan on quitting but I have often wondered how I smelled or the house smelled to non smokers. I would never want to offend them.
It's not so much that it's offensive, it's that I don't need to get sick from secondhand smoke. It's bad enough that I smoked for 30 years. I don't need to be around it at all now. But I also hated how it stunk up my whole apartment just because of the way my clothes smelled.
I used to hate going to the pipubs with my hubby neither of us are smokers , I would hang our clothes overnight in the conservatory , in the morning the area smelt awful. And no way could you wear those clothes again with being washed . With this no smoking in public areas you forget how horrid it used to be , and if you had a meal out and cigarette smoke came over it again was horrid.. so I fully agree with your comments and peoples breath smells awful,as well. Some that had a cigarette in the mouth all the time have a yellow streak in the fringe and along the side of their hair . So don’t you feel guilty . It’s really horrid. And I very much agree with all your saying,
I have almost 30 years sobriety (2/25) and I still don’t like to be around drinkers. And you are not too fussy, I am an ex smoker too, and I wouldn’t date a smoker. I have boundaries too.
I am not going to say I would "never" date a smoker, because if she was intelligent, beautiful, adventurous and otherwise healthy I might make an exception. I hope that I'll never have to worry about it again though since I'm married, but smoking status is not one of the most important factors I consider when evaluating people. I do have some "never" criteria though. For example, I would never date someone who is violent, hits or spanks. I would also never date someone who doesn't prioritize learning new things to improve their lives and the lives of their friends and family. I would also never date someone who is not active and does not exercise, either formally or by doing challenging physical activities. I would also never date someone who drinks alcohol heavily since it is literally brain poison and I do not want that kind of chaos in my life. Those are a few deal breaker for me. To each their own though! I appreciate you being open with us! Cheers!
Eiw. I really wasn't aware there were that many smokers left around. I guess just not in my world. Nothing like kissing an ashtray.....no hate to smokers just not my thing.
I can relate to both. But especially I can’t hang with smoking. I attended an event where I was stuck in a small enclosed, heavily smoky environment brought on by a roomful of chain smokers and even though I’d never smoked cigarettes before, I broke out in hives all over my arms and I’ve been hyper reactive ever since.
I was achain smoker for years. I realise now how selfish i was. Especially as i smoked around my young daughter. Its been thirty five years now im eighty two since i smoked im so happy i beat this awful addiction. When i smell smokers now i cringe and move away quickly.
I hate the smell of cigarette smoke because my mom smoked in the house all while I was growing up and I just hated it so much! I was so embarrassed because I’d go to school in clothes that smelled like smoke. And my hair! That was the worst! To this day, when I smell cigarette smoke I actually get really angry!
Yeah i cant do the smoking thing at all either. I got deceived with that on a stipulation. Said he quit ciggs but smoked those skinny brown cigars. We were already deep into this long distance relationship. I thought ii could handle it too. Nope! I like my hair and person to not smell smoke thank you! Never mind it potentially turning my silver hair yellow...oh hell no!!! Needless to say we are single again but remained good friends. Gotta love life huh😂
I grew up with my step dad smoking. Until I moved out and lived away from it a while I didn't realize how bad it smelled. I started only wearing junk clothes visiting family that smoked because 5 minutes would make my clothes, hair, body smell so awful I'd have to go home, shower immediately and change.
When he said sorry like that, I would have gathered my things while he was on the porch and left without saying a word. My husband is a smoker and it drives me nuts. That’s probably the one thing we argue over the most because I have severe asthma.
And if I was serious about him, I would have left too. But this was someone I was hanging around with just for the experience. I was giving it 3 months just to see if anything would change. I was in no hurry to hit the dating sites again. But I decided 2.5 months was enough of an experiment. I gave him his key, took my stuff and left. He never tried to stop me and we never saw each other again.
Exactly! He could have talked to me about it and just be honest. I would have agreed that he can smoke in his home all he wants. I just won't be there.
OMG!!! Not wanting to be around smoking is not fussy!!! It’s not wanting to put your health at risk or stink. Smoking is a nasty, smelly unhealthy habit. If people want to smoke do it in their own home or car. I don’t need it. My dad passed away from lung cancer, dr said 100% from smoking. And 2nd hand smoke kills people too.
He didn't really lose. I was not his girl. He never tried to get me back. I think he won. He won his freedom to smoke in his home without me there wanting to breath clean air, lol.
I’d rather date a smoker who will actually smoke outside like he promised then a smoker who decides to start smoking in the house again, and kind of be pissed at me about it, after I told him many times he had all the right to smoke in his house, but I just wouldn’t be able to go there. He didn't have the balls to have that conversation with me. That was the big turn off. He just started smoking inside with no conversation about it.
He was sending the “goodbye” signal. What a coward!
Yep, total coward!
I was married to a smoker for 34 years (he passed away 6 years ago) All those years he always went out to the garage and smoked, if we were driving we would stop somewhere and he would get out for a few minutes to smoke a little. The smell always made me so sick and he respected that, never once did he ever have an attitude about doing that. I was very blessed.
Darlene you have FOMO.
I have JOMO Joy of Missing Out 😂
I'm a smoker and I know I and my house smell. It is so hard to quit. I just tried quitting about a month ago. It didn't last long but I am going to try to quit again. When I quit for a week I didn't need my two inhalers. Now I'm back needing them again. Ugh I veas shocked in one video when I saw he was smoking. Have a great time with your friends tonight. ❤
You're worth so much more ❤❤❤
When my Dad tried to quit, he had a friend who had stopped smoking and he asked him how did you do this? His friend said, well I just put the package in my pocket and I would take the cigarettes out and smell them and put them back in my pocket, so my Dad did this and he stopped smoking! This worked, hope it will help you! 💖👍
Sleeping, I must of slept atleast a week or two if it is possible. It work for me, I do not work so staying in bed was easy.
When I dated I would never date a smoker. I haven’t smoked for 32 years now. It’s a good rule to have for many reasons lol. Loved this story! Thank you for sharing!
You have the right to have boundaries you are not wrong Joe is a good person ❤
Good for you for standing up for what you want! Not fussy at all!!
Omgosh,..if that is "fussy" then I am the fussiest. I have a long list of what I won't put up with. And am perfectly happy if I live the rest of my life alone. It's good to know yourself and what you want around you.
Thank you for sharing. I think any addiction is awful for those of us who are not addicted. I’ve often wondered how marriage between a smoker and a non-smoker can work. You’ve done the right thing. ❤
Ya it doesn’t work well with one smoking and one ever smoked in my life! At one point, I had to put my foot down, cuz my 2 boys didn’t smoke nor did I but the only one person out of 4 smoking was stinking up the house, clothes, and not to mention all the second hand smoke my boys and I were taking in! So he started smoking in the garage which was the best decision ever! Eventually he got lazy to get up at commercials and go smoke in the cold garage, so he smoked way less than before! Then over the years he got bladder cancer which is directly associated with cigarette smoking! So he had no choice but quit as he was too embarrassed to go see the doc or tell family and Friends that he was still smoking! Best decision he ever did! Cancer did not spread through the bladder walls so it was contained, scraped of it and I believe it’s been 20 years now or close to and cancer free! Bladder cancer is a reoccurring cancer and it did come back once or twice, but hasn’t now for many years. Up until a few weeks ago, he’d get a cancer check every 6 months then a year, now the doc said he doesn’t have to get checked anymore! So unless he starts bleeding again, he doesn’t need to go back to see him! So, no, u can’t have one smoker in the house amongst non smokers, doesn’t work well at all! Glad Darlene did the right thing, why should she take in 2nd hand smoke and smell like an ashtray! Good for her,
I feel the same way about smokers both in a relationship and even as roommates. I've found that regardless of what they say to work with you on not smoking and agreements, they violate it. It's a no go for me.
I love this! Not being fussy at all unless I’m fussy too because I utterly despise the smell of smoke it’s so gross my mom smoked and thought no one knew lol she was trying to hide it but there is no hiding that especially in the house ! Good for you
Oh yes. Lighting up in your face is a red flag after agreeing to smoke outside!
That was IT!
Darlene, I want to tell you that you are NOT too fussy and nothing wrong with setting boundaries. If you don't pay attention we end up in relationship regrets. Tough enough for all of us to put ourselves out there but then to step backwards and find another shithead?! Life is way too short. Love your channel, ideas, quilting, and sharing with us some of your personal "stuff" Have fun dancing!
Well, Darlene, smoking and drinking is a hard NO! I'm the same my eyes water, it gets in my throat and then I start coughing. I think the stink alone is enough to run away! Lol😂
It's not a picky thing! 💯 Thanks for sharing!
You go girl
Try recommending Vaping. I quit smoking years ago this way. At first, I was doing both (smoking & vaping) then gradually cut out smelly, messy, toxic cigs. The are SO expensive now too, $15.00 a pack! Insane. Vape “juice” has different %s of nicotine so I have gradually decreased nicotine levels. Goal = o% nicotine. Take care & God Bless ❤
He vaped too.
It's just as bad if not worse.
That's what I did. I haven't had a cigarette in like 6 months now. Now I'm just trying to wean myself off of vaping but it's really hard!
You have such a good outlook on others with addictions. They are lucky to have you as a friend. Your are non-judgemental about their tribulations but you have every right to have boundaries.
Don’t forget we change the clocks tonight!
I’m a smoker, but I have not smoked in my home in over 30 years, (I do still smoke). I always go outside to have a cigarette. I do notice the smell on others, I’ve always been cognizant of it on me. I am a fan of sprays on my clothes, and in my vehicle. Non smokers don’t smell smoke in my car. I couldn’t ever be in a home where someone smokes, yuk! Good for you, sounds like he just didn’t care.
You need (may not want) a " Stories I Can't Tell On UA-cam " journal. 😂 You could use it as a reminder to stay true to yourself and hold on to your boundaries. I agree with so many of your reasonings, especially the drinking and smoking issues. I think your my long lost sister I never had 😂.
Oh! Darlene, you've shared that your father was a lobsterman. Did he fish year-round or was there an off season? I just finished a book about Christopher Knight, who camped year-round in the Maine woods for 27 years & when the winter weather was described, I thought of your dad. Wishing you & Joe & Rocket & your whole family a wonderful, cooler & refreshing November from la belle province du Quebec.
Setting boundaries is important and not wanting to put your own health and comfort at risk is NOT being "fussy". Good for you for knowing your worth and that you deserve to be treated better than smoker man was willing to treat you.
Good for you. It is your life God Bless
Your lungs your right to say No.
I actually have Chronic Asthma now because the nursing home my mom was in for a week, they smoked so bad . I was rushed by ambulance to the hospital cause they thought I was having a heart attack . It was a reaction to cigarette smoke ,me just walking down the hall and staying with mom.
I was so sick . Breathing treatments and now permanent inhaler .
I ripped my mother out of there the next day
No smokers or drinkers in my life or on my property period !
So Fussy ! Its ok to be Fussy its your health.
Have fun tonight . Love from Texas
I feel the same as you regarding smoking. When I bought my house there was a widow that lived across the road from me. She welcomed me to the neighborhood immediately and asked me over to meet and have coffee & visit. I enjoyed visiting with her but .....she was a chain smoker. After about 2 times of going over there I had to start refusing her invitations because I would get such a headache from the smoke. And I would basically strip my clothes off the minute I walked in my house and take a shower. I knew if I asked her to come to my house she would smoke here too so that was not an option for me. I also like an occasional trip to casinos. I was sooooo happy that when Covid happened and the venues reopened here , the tribal Indian casinos here in Michigan went completely smoke free. It's so much better and enjoyable. Have a great week Darlene!!
You have every right to take care of yourself by having boundaries in your selection of men. For you that's a deal breaker.
Definitely feel ya as an ex smoker I'm like nah
Awesome video thanks for sharing! God bless!😚😘🥰
I told my now husband 54 years ago I could not date a smoker -- he quit! We will be married 53 years in May!
Do you ever run into that 1st guy you dated that was a friend of Derrick and the band? MrDueschBag 😂
Yes, all the time.
BOUNDARIES BABY🎉❤ yes ma’am.
I really appreciate this. I am a smoker and do not plan on quitting but I have often wondered how I smelled or the house smelled to non smokers. I would never want to offend them.
It's not so much that it's offensive, it's that I don't need to get sick from secondhand smoke. It's bad enough that I smoked for 30 years. I don't need to be around it at all now. But I also hated how it stunk up my whole apartment just because of the way my clothes smelled.
I used to hate going to the pipubs with my hubby neither of us are smokers , I would hang our clothes overnight in the conservatory , in the morning the area smelt awful. And no way could you wear those clothes again with being washed . With this no smoking in public areas you forget how horrid it used to be , and if you had a meal out and cigarette smoke came over it again was horrid.. so I fully agree with your comments and peoples breath smells awful,as well. Some that had a cigarette in the mouth all the time have a yellow streak in the fringe and along the side of their hair . So don’t you feel guilty . It’s really horrid. And I very much agree with all your saying,
Good point Darlene!!
I have almost 30 years sobriety (2/25) and I still don’t like to be around drinkers. And you are not too fussy, I am an ex smoker too, and I wouldn’t date a smoker. I have boundaries too.
He probably cares a lot but he's addicted to smoking. Addiction is a tough thing to beat.
I am not going to say I would "never" date a smoker, because if she was intelligent, beautiful, adventurous and otherwise healthy I might make an exception. I hope that I'll never have to worry about it again though since I'm married, but smoking status is not one of the most important factors I consider when evaluating people. I do have some "never" criteria though. For example, I would never date someone who is violent, hits or spanks. I would also never date someone who doesn't prioritize learning new things to improve their lives and the lives of their friends and family. I would also never date someone who is not active and does not exercise, either formally or by doing challenging physical activities. I would also never date someone who drinks alcohol heavily since it is literally brain poison and I do not want that kind of chaos in my life. Those are a few deal breaker for me. To each their own though! I appreciate you being open with us! Cheers!
Completely agree! 🌺🌺🇨🇦
I can totally relate to the frustration of of only 24 hours
I’m a ex smoker and I could never date a smoker either. You are not too picky everyone has some things they want tolerate
Eiw. I really wasn't aware there were that many smokers left around. I guess just not in my world. Nothing like kissing an ashtray.....no hate to smokers just not my thing.
Its a friend. Been there through thick and thin
Esp if consumed inutero.
How to convay, tobacco is not ones friend ?
🤺💐
Have you ever done a wonky log cabin? I'd like to see it done!
I can relate to both. But especially I can’t hang with smoking. I attended an event where I was stuck in a small enclosed, heavily smoky environment brought on by a roomful of chain smokers and even though I’d never smoked cigarettes before, I broke out in hives all over my arms and I’ve been hyper reactive ever since.
I agree 🎉
I was achain smoker for years. I realise now how selfish i was. Especially as i smoked around my young daughter. Its been thirty five years now im eighty two since i smoked im so happy i beat this awful addiction. When i smell smokers now i cringe and move away quickly.
I hate the smell of cigarette smoke because my mom smoked in the house all while I was growing up and I just hated it so much! I was so embarrassed because I’d go to school in clothes that smelled like smoke. And my hair! That was the worst! To this day, when I smell cigarette smoke I actually get really angry!
Yeah i cant do the smoking thing at all either. I got deceived with that on a stipulation. Said he quit ciggs but smoked those skinny brown cigars. We were already deep into this long distance relationship. I thought ii could handle it too. Nope! I like my hair and person to not smell smoke thank you! Never mind it potentially turning my silver hair yellow...oh hell no!!! Needless to say we are single again but remained good friends. Gotta love life huh😂
I grew up with my step dad smoking. Until I moved out and lived away from it a while I didn't realize how bad it smelled. I started only wearing junk clothes visiting family that smoked because 5 minutes would make my clothes, hair, body smell so awful I'd have to go home, shower immediately and change.
When he said sorry like that, I would have gathered my things while he was on the porch and left without saying a word. My husband is a smoker and it drives me nuts. That’s probably the one thing we argue over the most because I have severe asthma.
And if I was serious about him, I would have left too. But this was someone I was hanging around with just for the experience. I was giving it 3 months just to see if anything would change. I was in no hurry to hit the dating sites again. But I decided 2.5 months was enough of an experiment. I gave him his key, took my stuff and left. He never tried to stop me and we never saw each other again.
I wouldn't like a smoker or a drinker. In the last few years, I can't stand certain smells, i.e. lilies, strong cologne or perfume.
This is my excited look! 😂😂😂❤❤
I wouldn't dump someone who smokes cannabis sporadically but aside from that, I'm all set with smokers.
Second hand smoke kills.
To not respect your boundary is very telling.
Exactly! He could have talked to me about it and just be honest. I would have agreed that he can smoke in his home all he wants. I just won't be there.
OMG!!! Not wanting to be around smoking is not fussy!!! It’s not wanting to put your health at risk or stink. Smoking is a nasty, smelly unhealthy habit. If people want to smoke do it in their own home or car. I don’t need it. My dad passed away from lung cancer, dr said 100% from smoking. And 2nd hand smoke kills people too.
Only dating non-smokers is my number 1.
Smoking inside is gross
He has lost …you have gained 😊
He didn't really lose. I was not his girl. He never tried to get me back. I think he won. He won his freedom to smoke in his home without me there wanting to breath clean air, lol.
Maybe he did automaticly. Just forgot momentairily. But the crappy comeback. No!! That was big red flag.
Yes, it was the sarcastic "sorry" that made him lose points. And he seemed mad.
Smoking, no way
You wouldn't believe how many "nice men" hate women to the core..
Same goes for the other way around too. Nice" women can be mega bitches and use men and rip their hearts to pieces.
I hate smoke.
I have a question is Ms B that he stays with a girlfriend or just a friend? I’m confused.
She's an older woman friend who he's known for years.
What a shame. Sad for you
Not sad at all. It’s very interesting to me to see how people act. And I learn a lot about myself through these interactions.
❤
I rather date a smoker than a drinker
I’d rather date a smoker who will actually smoke outside like he promised then a smoker who decides to start smoking in the house again, and kind of be pissed at me about it, after I told him many times he had all the right to smoke in his house, but I just wouldn’t be able to go there. He didn't have the balls to have that conversation with me. That was the big turn off. He just started smoking inside with no conversation about it.
❤️👍🏽👍🏽❤️
You're not picky in any way..