Thank you Irene, I so appreciate your work. My Son has been such a catalyst for my own healing and learning how to connect as an adult, through his high needs (he is neuro divergent as am I). I recall when he was a toddler, an enormous meltdown (one of them) in a supermarket. He suddenly collapsed and began thrashing around and screaming on the floor in the middle of an aisle. Unable to take him out of the triggering environment, I surrendered and lay down on the floor with him until he was calm enough to simply hold him, no words just connection, then we dumped the trolley of food and headed home. This was certainly a poignant turning point for me.
Hi there, Susan here from Team Lyon. If you are looking for more videos from Irene on the topic of kids and parenting, she has created a playlist titled 'Kids. Children. Raising Healthy Humans. Parenting.', which you can find here - ua-cam.com/play/PL_tIcR-r0CU7ILnciQbAUULSBimkIMDHn.html
Circumcision is preverbal somatic trauma and male genital mutilation. Irene has stated that circumcision is childhood trauma of the preverbal kind. Please make sure to protect him from doctors and nurses that may try to forcibly retract his intact penis out of ignorance. Only clean what is seen, the foreskin does not retract until age 10.5 on average because it is fused to the head of the penis, so forcible retraction is super harmful! More info: The body stores the trauma via survival stress physiology of the nervous system. Look up Somatic Experiencing and Irene Lyon for more info. She is a practitioner that will give you all the info on Polyvagal theory and how trauma is stored in the body with references, books and other supporting info from dozens of other practitioners and researchers who have hundreds of other citations themselves. Somatic Experiencing and the somatic modalities of psychotherapy in general have been the most effective way for me to deal with trauma and actually release it and teach my body that it is now safe for it to truly get out of flight fight freeze to begin to actually rest and repair and heal. Chronic illness is most often just trapped trauma to the point where the body can't keep up with repairs so it looks like disease. Of you're in fight flight freeze, you don't repair and recover properly. This is why people with more adverse childhood events have much more chronic illnesses and symptoms. Preverbal somatic trauma is real. Before you can speak and consciously recall memories of the time when you were a baby, you can be traumatized because you can feel pain and threat if you are not attended to by an attuned adult. This puts you fight flight freeze, but since you're a baby you cannot fight or flee, you go into preservation mode and numb out and disassociate. What we do to babies matters. Think about circumcision. Male genital mutilation is the en masse sexual damaging and truamatization of over 1 million boys a year in the USA alone. 1.4 million in 2022 in USA alone. This is a human rights violation that traumatizes the baby boy. Men don't even have rights over their own cocks, and they deserve the basic human right of all their genitals. If it is not a life saving procedure it is mutilation. Normalize NOT cutting up your sons' cocks, America. Normalize men owning their own cocks, and not having their cocks be public property of their parents and America. Circumcision, male genital mutilation, is immoral and disgusting. Most Americans, conservatives or liberals, love to ignore this. The USA mutilated 1.4 million baby boys in 2022 alone. Over 4,000 a day. 80.5% of men in USA are cut, no consent, they don't know how authentic sex feels like. Then the USA jokes about circumcision in their crappy TV shows and movies. Only a slave would joke about his own violation and the violation of other baby boys. Christians in your country can't read the New Testament properly, it seems. Apostle Paul calls circumcision mutilation and emasculation. Foregen is a biotech company that is fully reversing circumcision with regenerative medicine. This is beyond foreskin restoration which doesn't bring back the inner mucosal lining, Meissner's corpuscles, fine touch receptors, and other musculature like the dartos muscle. Over 6500+ species of mammals have foreskins. That isn't a mistake. Do animals take better care of themselves than humans? Europe knows better, Japan, too...the majority of the world, in fact. His penis is his own, it's not the family penis. To deny any of this is to be emotionally avoidant, willfully ignorant - and from ignorance comes acts of evil.
The key is to regulate your own system ie. eat, sleep, breathe what Irene teaches. As your regulation increases you'll become more and more intuitive and empathic towards your child (and everyone else!) 😊 Best of luck and congrats ❤
I work with a movement analysis system called Laban-Bartenieff. We work a lot with developmental movement, and also with different aspects of movement. We look at tantrum from the dynamic of movement p. o. v. A tantrum is a case where a child lacks Spatial focus, which brings attention and logic, and falls into a Passion mode where there's Flow =feelings, Weight = self, sensations and determination and Time =now. What this child needs is Space brought into his movement, and that's what you've done when you've pulled his mindless meandering with the stones into intentional geometric structue. You've brought Space in, and that brought down the overflow of feelings and sensations.
I am 50 and still have tantrums when I am exhausted but can’t seem to stop. I get overwhelmed and frustrated and rageful. I was severely neglected as an infant and all throughout childhood, so I have great difficulty self soothing or being soothed by others. A soft calming voice drives me nuts. It’s like I need my state matched. This video was helpful in me understanding myself a little more.
@dianeshoemaker6591, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear that this video was helpful in understanding yourself a little more. Irene has a few other videos on the topic of early developmental trauma (EDT). I'll share a few links in case they're of interest to you. This lady deserves a gold star. My long form interview with Kathy Kain - irenelyon.com/2018/12/18/this-lady-deserves-a-gold-star-my-long-form-interview-with-kathy-kain/ Q&A w/ Irene, Seth, & Janice. Special focus on healing early & developmental trauma - ua-cam.com/video/78Qix0D6eLk/v-deo.html
I will add what she said about kids who don’t respond to the smiles of a stranger. It can actually be a sign of healthy attachment. That is the way nature designed so that children wouldn’t wander off with people who weren’t their safe tribe. Children with disorganised or damaged attachments will sometimes go to anyone and seek connection from anyone as it is wired in them to receive that yet their needs are not being met in attachment. Not always but sometimes this is the case.
What I've found super helpful when doing somatic work is viewing every sensation as neutral. Of course, a percentage are pleasant and a percentage are unpleasant, but ultimately each sensation is what your body needs to express in that moment. This mindset helps me to surrender to every sensation when my cognition gets in the way and tells me to resist (for one of 1,849,003 reasons that have been programmed into me over my 22 years!!) 😊
Bless you, & the "little guy".. Thank you, for taking action & giving him positive interaction, diverting what would likely have been a traumatic outcome, the sort of experience which can, so sadly, affect a whole life... helpful to hear 🙏💖🌟
I was the first family member to break the spanking cycle. When my son would have temper tantrums, some of my family members would tell me to spank him. I was always against that. I've always felt it was best to talk to him and distract him with things and teach. To some, spanking is the easy fix but it is abuse physically and mentally. Because I helped my son and explained things, he as an adult, is realistic and reasonable.
Thank you for sharing your understanding. The Gabor video has been taken down I guess. I hope to find it as I have found his work to be transformative as well.
I love that story thank you for sharing. You are really teaching me a lot. In my 50s & have 3 children and still have a lot to learn. I really like the concept of matching their energy and not expecting to be able to calm a child down by meeting their anger etc with soft caring. As you say it will not be appreciated. I am sure I’ve tried to do that quite a few times in my life and then been a bit at a loss when it hasn’t worked. I think I can feel easily irritated with a child who isn’t my own who is ‘behaving badly’. But I’ll try to remember this story next time. I have this one memory of going on a school trip to help out with my son’s class swimming lesson. I think they were about 7 yrs old at the time. There was a very spirited little boy in the class who was causing havoc in the boys changing room by yelling and swearing at some of the other boys, enjoying intimidating them with simply his voice. One of them was crying. Prior to this I had recently stopped taking anti depressants and so was a bit more reactive than usual and before I knew it I was blasting this little boy telling him off with ‘righteous anger’. Lol. As a background this was partly fueled as I knew this particular boy had a habit of bullying the other boys including my son. Its a bit out of character for me as I’m normally fairly quiet. Anyway it did the job, the boy stopped his tirade of bullying but I could see the other parent there recoil in a bit of shock. I started worrying about overstepping the line and potential repercussions and if this boy would be terrified of me. Well he wasn’t - in fact he seemed to like me more after that. I was quite surprised. I don’t think it was the best approach and next time I would get the teacher involved but it was maybe an example of meeting his energy with similar energy. He may have been used to that kind of thing with his parents.
You mention that the little guy was pulling on your husband's clothing to find you, but that you were distancing yourself from him at that point. Could you expand on that more? I ask because I have a stepson that I've really connected with, through play and meeting him at his level. He's had trauma in his life, but is now glued to me around the clock, I'm trying my best to give him the connection he needs, but I'm feeling very worn down at the constant demand on my attention. It's gotten to the point where if I go to the restroom, he' asking where I've gone. He's not super tiny anymore either, he's now in middle school.
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. While we cannot offer consultations here I highly suggest you check this playlist specifically for the topic of children ua-cam.com/video/SP6lGWzbiuQ/v-deo.html
Circumcision is preverbal somatic trauma. Circumcision is male genital mutilation, a human rights violation. Men and boys deserve better. Men and boys deserve equal rights and righrs over THEIR private parts. The body stores the trauma via survival stress physiology of the nervous system. Look up Somatic Experiencing and Irene Lyon for more info. She is a practitioner that will give you all the info on Polyvagal theory and how trauma is stored in the body with references, books and other supporting info from dozens of other practitioners and researchers who have hundreds of other citations themselves. Somatic Experiencing and the somatic modalities of psychotherapy in general have been the most effective way for me to deal with trauma and actually release it and teach my body that it is now safe for it to truly get out of flight fight freeze to begin to actually rest and repair and heal. Chronic illness is most often just trapped trauma to the point where the body can't keep up with repairs so it looks like disease. Of you're in fight flight freeze, you don't repair and recover properly. This is why people with more adverse childhood events have much more chronic illnesses and symptoms. Preverbal somatic trauma is real. Before you can speak and consciously recall memories of the time when you were a baby, you can be traumatized because you can feel pain and threat if you are not attended to by an attuned adult. This puts you fight flight freeze, but since you're a baby you cannot fight or flee, you go into preservation mode and numb out and disassociate. What we do to babies matters. Think about circumcision. Male genital mutilation is the en masse sexual damaging and truamatization of over 1 million boys a year in the USA alone. 1.4 million in 2022 in USA alone. This is a human rights violation that traumatizes the baby boy. Men don't even have rights over their own cocks, and they deserve the basic human right of all their genitals. If it is not a life saving procedure it is mutilation. Normalize NOT cutting up your sons' cocks, America. Normalize men owning their own cocks, and not having their cocks be public property of their parents and America. Circumcision, male genital mutilation, is immoral and disgusting. Most Americans, conservatives or liberals, love to ignore this. The USA mutilated 1.4 million baby boys in 2022 alone. Over 4,000 a day. 80.5% of men in USA are cut, no consent, they don't know how authentic sex feels like. Then the USA jokes about circumcision in their crappy TV shows and movies. Only a slave would joke about his own violation and the violation of other baby boys. Christians in your country can't read the New Testament properly, it seems. Apostle Paul calls circumcision mutilation and emasculation. Foregen is a biotech company that is fully reversing circumcision with regenerative medicine. This is beyond foreskin restoration which doesn't bring back the inner mucosal lining, Meissner's corpuscles, fine touch receptors, and other musculature like the dartos muscle. Over 6500+ species of mammals have foreskins. That isn't a mistake. Do animals take better care of themselves than humans? Europe knows better, Japan, too...the majority of the world, in fact. His penis is his own, it's not the family penis. To deny any of this is to be emotionally avoidant, willfully ignorant - and from ignorance comes acts of evil.
Thank you Irene, I so appreciate your work. My Son has been such a catalyst for my own healing and learning how to connect as an adult, through his high needs (he is neuro divergent as am I). I recall when he was a toddler, an enormous meltdown (one of them) in a supermarket. He suddenly collapsed and began thrashing around and screaming on the floor in the middle of an aisle. Unable to take him out of the triggering environment, I surrendered and lay down on the floor with him until he was calm enough to simply hold him, no words just connection, then we dumped the trolley of food and headed home. This was certainly a poignant turning point for me.
💚💚💚
I am pregnant with our first baby ever so I would absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE more videos like this!! Please help me not mess up my kid!!! 🙏❤️
Hi there, Susan here from Team Lyon. If you are looking for more videos from Irene on the topic of kids and parenting, she has created a playlist titled 'Kids. Children. Raising Healthy Humans. Parenting.', which you can find here - ua-cam.com/play/PL_tIcR-r0CU7ILnciQbAUULSBimkIMDHn.html
Circumcision is preverbal somatic trauma and male genital mutilation.
Irene has stated that circumcision is childhood trauma of the preverbal kind.
Please make sure to protect him from doctors and nurses that may try to forcibly retract his intact penis out of ignorance.
Only clean what is seen, the foreskin does not retract until age 10.5 on average because it is fused to the head of the penis, so forcible retraction is super harmful!
More info:
The body stores the trauma via survival stress physiology of the nervous system.
Look up Somatic Experiencing and Irene Lyon for more info. She is a practitioner that will give you all the info on Polyvagal theory and how trauma is stored in the body with references, books and other supporting info from dozens of other practitioners and researchers who have hundreds of other citations themselves.
Somatic Experiencing and the somatic modalities of psychotherapy in general have been the most effective way for me to deal with trauma and actually release it and teach my body that it is now safe for it to truly get out of flight fight freeze to begin to actually rest and repair and heal.
Chronic illness is most often just trapped trauma to the point where the body can't keep up with repairs so it looks like disease. Of you're in fight flight freeze, you don't repair and recover properly.
This is why people with more adverse childhood events have much more chronic illnesses and symptoms.
Preverbal somatic trauma is real. Before you can speak and consciously recall memories of the time when you were a baby, you can be traumatized because you can feel pain and threat if you are not attended to by an attuned adult. This puts you fight flight freeze, but since you're a baby you cannot fight or flee, you go into preservation mode and numb out and disassociate.
What we do to babies matters.
Think about circumcision. Male genital mutilation is the en masse sexual damaging and truamatization of over 1 million boys a year in the USA alone. 1.4 million in 2022 in USA alone.
This is a human rights violation that traumatizes the baby boy.
Men don't even have rights over their own cocks, and they deserve the basic human right of all their genitals.
If it is not a life saving procedure it is mutilation.
Normalize NOT cutting up your sons' cocks, America.
Normalize men owning their own cocks, and not having their cocks be public property of their parents and America.
Circumcision, male genital mutilation, is immoral and disgusting.
Most Americans, conservatives or liberals, love to ignore this.
The USA mutilated 1.4 million baby boys in 2022 alone. Over 4,000 a day.
80.5% of men in USA are cut, no consent, they don't know how authentic sex feels like.
Then the USA jokes about circumcision in their crappy TV shows and movies.
Only a slave would joke about his own violation and the violation of other baby boys.
Christians in your country can't read the New Testament properly, it seems. Apostle Paul calls circumcision mutilation and emasculation.
Foregen is a biotech company that is fully reversing circumcision with regenerative medicine. This is beyond foreskin restoration which doesn't bring back the inner mucosal lining, Meissner's corpuscles, fine touch receptors, and other musculature like the dartos muscle.
Over 6500+ species of mammals have foreskins. That isn't a mistake. Do animals take better care of themselves than humans?
Europe knows better, Japan, too...the majority of the world, in fact.
His penis is his own, it's not the family penis.
To deny any of this is to be emotionally avoidant, willfully ignorant - and from ignorance comes acts of evil.
@@Prince_Sheogorath I agree with you!! Thank you for this information!!
The key is to regulate your own system ie. eat, sleep, breathe what Irene teaches. As your regulation increases you'll become more and more intuitive and empathic towards your child (and everyone else!) 😊 Best of luck and congrats ❤
I work with a movement analysis system called Laban-Bartenieff. We work a lot with developmental movement, and also with different aspects of movement. We look at tantrum from the dynamic of movement p. o. v. A tantrum is a case where a child lacks Spatial focus, which brings attention and logic, and falls into a Passion mode where there's Flow =feelings, Weight = self, sensations and determination and Time =now. What this child needs is Space brought into his movement, and that's what you've done when you've pulled his mindless meandering with the stones into intentional geometric structue. You've brought Space in, and that brought down the overflow of feelings and sensations.
I have long believed it was important to get down on ground and play with children at their level, since my first was a baby.
Great video. Be present with another human is the biggest gift we can give someone.
Love this story. I try to do the same thing with dysregulated kids when out in public.
I am 50 and still have tantrums when I am exhausted but can’t seem to stop. I get overwhelmed and frustrated and rageful. I was severely neglected as an infant and all throughout childhood, so I have great difficulty self soothing or being soothed by others. A soft calming voice drives me nuts. It’s like I need my state matched. This video was helpful in me understanding myself a little more.
@dianeshoemaker6591, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's good to hear that this video was helpful in understanding yourself a little more. Irene has a few other videos on the topic of early developmental trauma (EDT). I'll share a few links in case they're of interest to you.
This lady deserves a gold star. My long form interview with Kathy Kain - irenelyon.com/2018/12/18/this-lady-deserves-a-gold-star-my-long-form-interview-with-kathy-kain/
Q&A w/ Irene, Seth, & Janice. Special focus on healing early & developmental trauma - ua-cam.com/video/78Qix0D6eLk/v-deo.html
I will add what she said about kids who don’t respond to the smiles of a stranger. It can actually be a sign of healthy attachment. That is the way nature designed so that children wouldn’t wander off with people who weren’t their safe tribe. Children with disorganised or damaged attachments will sometimes go to anyone and seek connection from anyone as it is wired in them to receive that yet their needs are not being met in attachment. Not always but sometimes this is the case.
What I've found super helpful when doing somatic work is viewing every sensation as neutral. Of course, a percentage are pleasant and a percentage are unpleasant, but ultimately each sensation is what your body needs to express in that moment.
This mindset helps me to surrender to every sensation when my cognition gets in the way and tells me to resist (for one of 1,849,003 reasons that have been programmed into me over my 22 years!!) 😊
Bless you, & the "little guy".. Thank you, for taking action & giving him positive interaction, diverting what would likely have been a traumatic outcome, the sort of experience which can, so sadly, affect a whole life... helpful to hear 🙏💖🌟
I did all of this quite naturally. People would stop me to say how amazing it was to see
I was the first family member to break the spanking cycle. When my son would have temper tantrums, some of my family members would tell me to spank him. I was always against that. I've always felt it was best to talk to him and distract him with things and teach. To some, spanking is the easy fix but it is abuse physically and mentally. Because I helped my son and explained things, he as an adult, is realistic and reasonable.
I cried when listening to this. It so resonates with my heart, Irene. Keep doing what you do. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your understanding. The Gabor video has been taken down I guess. I hope to find it as I have found his work to be transformative as well.
I love that story thank you for sharing. You are really teaching me a lot. In my 50s & have 3 children and still have a lot to learn. I really like the concept of matching their energy and not expecting to be able to calm a child down by meeting their anger etc with soft caring. As you say it will not be appreciated. I am sure I’ve tried to do that quite a few times in my life and then been a bit at a loss when it hasn’t worked. I think I can feel easily irritated with a child who isn’t my own who is ‘behaving badly’. But I’ll try to remember this story next time. I have this one memory of going on a school trip to help out with my son’s class swimming lesson. I think they were about 7 yrs old at the time. There was a very spirited little boy in the class who was causing havoc in the boys changing room by yelling and swearing at some of the other boys, enjoying intimidating them with simply his voice. One of them was crying. Prior to this I had recently stopped taking anti depressants and so was a bit more reactive than usual and before I knew it I was blasting this little boy telling him off with ‘righteous anger’. Lol. As a background this was partly fueled as I knew this particular boy had a habit of bullying the other boys including my son. Its a bit out of character for me as I’m normally fairly quiet. Anyway it did the job, the boy stopped his tirade of bullying but I could see the other parent there recoil in a bit of shock. I started worrying about overstepping the line and potential repercussions and if this boy would be terrified of me. Well he wasn’t - in fact he seemed to like me more after that. I was quite surprised. I don’t think it was the best approach and next time I would get the teacher involved but it was maybe an example of meeting his energy with similar energy. He may have been used to that kind of thing with his parents.
Such a great video & reminder ❤️ Thank you for reminding us of this. It is a deep one to digest!
Louder, please! Thank you for all the goodness! 🙏🌟🧡
You mention that the little guy was pulling on your husband's clothing to find you, but that you were distancing yourself from him at that point. Could you expand on that more? I ask because I have a stepson that I've really connected with, through play and meeting him at his level. He's had trauma in his life, but is now glued to me around the clock, I'm trying my best to give him the connection he needs, but I'm feeling very worn down at the constant demand on my attention. It's gotten to the point where if I go to the restroom, he' asking where I've gone. He's not super tiny anymore either, he's now in middle school.
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. While we cannot offer consultations here I highly suggest you check this playlist specifically for the topic of children ua-cam.com/video/SP6lGWzbiuQ/v-deo.html
Thanks!
FYI... Gabor Mate video is no longer linked.
@ashleyhart8524, thanks for letting us know. I'll pass this info along to the team. - Jen from Team Lyon
Amazing thank you
I don't understand where is the comedy in hitting a child when they are melting down.
16:16 - it takes a village to raise a child
Circumcision is preverbal somatic trauma.
Circumcision is male genital mutilation, a human rights violation.
Men and boys deserve better. Men and boys deserve equal rights and righrs over THEIR private parts.
The body stores the trauma via survival stress physiology of the nervous system.
Look up Somatic Experiencing and Irene Lyon for more info. She is a practitioner that will give you all the info on Polyvagal theory and how trauma is stored in the body with references, books and other supporting info from dozens of other practitioners and researchers who have hundreds of other citations themselves.
Somatic Experiencing and the somatic modalities of psychotherapy in general have been the most effective way for me to deal with trauma and actually release it and teach my body that it is now safe for it to truly get out of flight fight freeze to begin to actually rest and repair and heal.
Chronic illness is most often just trapped trauma to the point where the body can't keep up with repairs so it looks like disease. Of you're in fight flight freeze, you don't repair and recover properly.
This is why people with more adverse childhood events have much more chronic illnesses and symptoms.
Preverbal somatic trauma is real. Before you can speak and consciously recall memories of the time when you were a baby, you can be traumatized because you can feel pain and threat if you are not attended to by an attuned adult. This puts you fight flight freeze, but since you're a baby you cannot fight or flee, you go into preservation mode and numb out and disassociate.
What we do to babies matters.
Think about circumcision. Male genital mutilation is the en masse sexual damaging and truamatization of over 1 million boys a year in the USA alone. 1.4 million in 2022 in USA alone.
This is a human rights violation that traumatizes the baby boy.
Men don't even have rights over their own cocks, and they deserve the basic human right of all their genitals.
If it is not a life saving procedure it is mutilation.
Normalize NOT cutting up your sons' cocks, America.
Normalize men owning their own cocks, and not having their cocks be public property of their parents and America.
Circumcision, male genital mutilation, is immoral and disgusting.
Most Americans, conservatives or liberals, love to ignore this.
The USA mutilated 1.4 million baby boys in 2022 alone. Over 4,000 a day.
80.5% of men in USA are cut, no consent, they don't know how authentic sex feels like.
Then the USA jokes about circumcision in their crappy TV shows and movies.
Only a slave would joke about his own violation and the violation of other baby boys.
Christians in your country can't read the New Testament properly, it seems. Apostle Paul calls circumcision mutilation and emasculation.
Foregen is a biotech company that is fully reversing circumcision with regenerative medicine. This is beyond foreskin restoration which doesn't bring back the inner mucosal lining, Meissner's corpuscles, fine touch receptors, and other musculature like the dartos muscle.
Over 6500+ species of mammals have foreskins. That isn't a mistake. Do animals take better care of themselves than humans?
Europe knows better, Japan, too...the majority of the world, in fact.
His penis is his own, it's not the family penis.
To deny any of this is to be emotionally avoidant, willfully ignorant - and from ignorance comes acts of evil.