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Gosh seeing David very stoic but clearly emotional like that makes me think about how my father actually feels about my little brother passing because my father is always so stoic and such but he must be really hurting. My mother and me, we cry together...
O.M.G. I just realized the bio of ur page. I am so sorry for your losses! U are such a strong woman and what a great way to use your heartache to help others. I commend you for the placement of ur emotions and for still having an empathetic heart to love and help others. Thank you. I lost my dad to an overdose 2 yrs ago. The day before Thanksgiving and now my mom is not far behind. But I still have not fully grieved. It bubbles up and causes anxiety that ruins my whole day once in a while...... it could be a song or something I hear in my head that my dad would've said to me. I have 2 young children. I can NOT imagine what u guys have gone thru. And still go thru. I pray that God will bring peace and healing for you. Thank u for sharing and helping others.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences... I am already in anguish ahead of the 1st anniversary of my son's death 4th June. It feels intimidating, scary, new...
Not the same but i lost my husband almost 11 years ago. He was only 30. The first 18 months of our marriage were filled with deployments and moving and the 2nd 18 months were cancer, surgery, hospital stays, chemo and death. I still miss him all the time.
I have no knowledge of grieving for a child (so sorry for your loss 💜) but i know when i lost my husband i didnt really want to talk about it because i didnt want to make the people around me feel worse because although he was MY husband i knew they also loved him and were grieving too. And the dreams are crazy and so confusing huh? I always dream that my husband was deployed and i went back home to visit but then my husband's deployment is over and i just sit at my moms waiting for him to call me or tell me to come back to him and i guess I refuse to come back to wherever we were living because he didnt tell/ask me to lol
I'm so sorry about your husband, and yes, it can be difficult NOT to worry about upsetting other people when we're talking about our lost loved ones. That dream is so interesting!
I wish I would have caught the live, but I've been working non-stop. ("Distraction" helps keep me sane.) I want to add my 2 cents to Rachel's comment & I truly hope she sees this, from one grieving mama to another.... I demanded to see & know EVERYTHING. I saw my son, all of him, at the funeral home. I saw the accident photos, went to see the car at the wreckage lot, read the police report & then the autopsy report. I met with the medical examiner & went over every photo, every detail, in an attempt to understand how in the hell this happened to my "baby boy". At the time I felt like, as his mama, if he had to endure it then it was my duty to know it all. I ignorantly thought that as a very seasoned nurse I could handle it all because I need details to compute things. I can tell you now after 597 days, I was wrong. The brain is a fascinating thing & despite me going through a lot of therapy and genuinely not remembering my beautiful son that way on the regular, my subconscious is (excuse me) fucked. I have CPTSD so severely that I truly don't believe I'll ever be the same. When I think of my Ben I think of him alive & beautiful. All the memories & the joy that was him. The gratitude I feel for having gotten to be his mama for 23-1/2 amazing years. But my subconscious does what it wants, which is being that information & those images into my mind whenever it feels like it. I have night terrors of things I wish I'd never seen, never demanded to know. YOU CANNOT UNSEE OR UNKNOW THESE THINGS. Please, please learn from my mistakes and only look into the very basic things that your heart needs to know. Did your person pass instantly or linger? That was my burning question & I wish so much I would have been "content" with knowing only that. I'm sorry for such a long post but it's maybe the most important advice I could ever give another grieving family. Thank you Brooke for all you do & making a community for those of us who are so lost, in this club that no one should ever be apart of.
Please do. I don't feel that I have much of a purpose these days, I'm trying though. But if I can help anyone to avoid where I'm at, I think that's important.
So sorry for your loss. Libby sounds like a lovely person. Have you watched Simmons 3? They lost 3 children at the same time because of a drunk driver.
Great question!! That was the problem -- I was always a pretty good writer (I wrote for the Emmys website and different magazines), but I never had a topic that I thought I knew enough about to write about it. I always thought I would write fiction, honestly, but all of my writing jobs have been nonfiction like my book! When my schedule calms down a bit, I am planning on writing a historical fiction series for upper-elementary aged students called "Libby's Frontier," that will be sort of like Little House on the Prairie, which Libs and I watched together. ❤
If I had to pick something that I have always really wanted to write, it would be a historical fiction novel --either set in Colonial American times or in Tudor England.
So the car took fire? Or someone hit in them That would have been hard what i dont get how did you other son live if it blow up or took fire. That me hard i do understand why you didnt want to see her like that . For me i would have want to see to make sure i believe my child is there its sad and traumatizing but better for me
To receive updates about the release of my upcoming book, Grief Sucks, But Your Life Doesn't Have To, sign up for my newsletter!
www.brookecarlock.org/newsletter
Gosh seeing David very stoic but clearly emotional like that makes me think about how my father actually feels about my little brother passing because my father is always so stoic and such but he must be really hurting. My mother and me, we cry together...
Most men definitely have a hard time showing their emotions. David has always been a crier, though. :)
O.M.G. I just realized the bio of ur page. I am so sorry for your losses! U are such a strong woman and what a great way to use your heartache to help others. I commend you for the placement of ur emotions and for still having an empathetic heart to love and help others. Thank you. I lost my dad to an overdose 2 yrs ago. The day before Thanksgiving and now my mom is not far behind. But I still have not fully grieved. It bubbles up and causes anxiety that ruins my whole day once in a while...... it could be a song or something I hear in my head that my dad would've said to me. I have 2 young children. I can NOT imagine what u guys have gone thru. And still go thru. I pray that God will bring peace and healing for you. Thank u for sharing and helping others.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm sorry about your dad (and mom). Sending hugs!
My heart aches for you both watching this. Heaven must have needed your sweet daughter as an angel. God Bless.
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences... I am already in anguish ahead of the 1st anniversary of my son's death 4th June. It feels intimidating, scary, new...
I'm so very sorry. 💔💔 You will endure, but it hurts like hell. Sending so much love.
I have a few dreams of my beloved daughter, Paris. I cherish each and every one!!! Sending both of you lots of love and hugs. Xxxxxxx❤️💞❤️
I wish I had more... Thanks for watching and commenting, Maria!!
Not the same but i lost my husband almost 11 years ago. He was only 30. The first 18 months of our marriage were filled with deployments and moving and the 2nd 18 months were cancer, surgery, hospital stays, chemo and death. I still miss him all the time.
Oh my gosh... that sounds like a roller coaster of a marriage. I'm so very sorry. 💔
I have no knowledge of grieving for a child (so sorry for your loss 💜) but i know when i lost my husband i didnt really want to talk about it because i didnt want to make the people around me feel worse because although he was MY husband i knew they also loved him and were grieving too.
And the dreams are crazy and so confusing huh? I always dream that my husband was deployed and i went back home to visit but then my husband's deployment is over and i just sit at my moms waiting for him to call me or tell me to come back to him and i guess I refuse to come back to wherever we were living because he didnt tell/ask me to lol
I'm so sorry about your husband, and yes, it can be difficult NOT to worry about upsetting other people when we're talking about our lost loved ones. That dream is so interesting!
I wish I would have caught the live, but I've been working non-stop. ("Distraction" helps keep me sane.)
I want to add my 2 cents to Rachel's comment & I truly hope she sees this, from one grieving mama to another.... I demanded to see & know EVERYTHING. I saw my son, all of him, at the funeral home. I saw the accident photos, went to see the car at the wreckage lot, read the police report & then the autopsy report. I met with the medical examiner & went over every photo, every detail, in an attempt to understand how in the hell this happened to my "baby boy". At the time I felt like, as his mama, if he had to endure it then it was my duty to know it all. I ignorantly thought that as a very seasoned nurse I could handle it all because I need details to compute things.
I can tell you now after 597 days, I was wrong. The brain is a fascinating thing & despite me going through a lot of therapy and genuinely not remembering my beautiful son that way on the regular, my subconscious is (excuse me) fucked. I have CPTSD so severely that I truly don't believe I'll ever be the same. When I think of my Ben I think of him alive & beautiful. All the memories & the joy that was him. The gratitude I feel for having gotten to be his mama for 23-1/2 amazing years. But my subconscious does what it wants, which is being that information & those images into my mind whenever it feels like it. I have night terrors of things I wish I'd never seen, never demanded to know. YOU CANNOT UNSEE OR UNKNOW THESE THINGS. Please, please learn from my mistakes and only look into the very basic things that your heart needs to know. Did your person pass instantly or linger? That was my burning question & I wish so much I would have been "content" with knowing only that.
I'm sorry for such a long post but it's maybe the most important advice I could ever give another grieving family.
Thank you Brooke for all you do & making a community for those of us who are so lost, in this club that no one should ever be apart of.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Would you mind if I read it on tomorrow's live?
I feel like it is so important for people to hear
Please do. I don't feel that I have much of a purpose these days, I'm trying though. But if I can help anyone to avoid where I'm at, I think that's important.
My son passed away 10/1/2021 and I have not had the fortune of dreaming about him : ( very helpful episode... thank you
You're welcome, and I'm so sorry about your son. It took me a long time before I started having dreams about Libby, and they're very infrequent. ❤️
Beautiful couple you should stay together and serve God
So sorry for your loss. Libby sounds like a lovely person. Have you watched Simmons 3? They lost 3 children at the same time because of a drunk driver.
Yes, I have watched their videos. They are doing great things in honor of their children/siblings! ❤️
We are also close to our son Zach death will be 2 years in May , 😢
Sending huge hugs. 💔
The therapy the meds and doing things to help others and you have a purpose i would need that to if not i be gone
Those are all helpful things! ❤️
This is a bit off topic...since you said you always wanted to write a book...what topics did you want to write about prior to grief? Just curious.
Great question!! That was the problem -- I was always a pretty good writer (I wrote for the Emmys website and different magazines), but I never had a topic that I thought I knew enough about to write about it. I always thought I would write fiction, honestly, but all of my writing jobs have been nonfiction like my book! When my schedule calms down a bit, I am planning on writing a historical fiction series for upper-elementary aged students called "Libby's Frontier," that will be sort of like Little House on the Prairie, which Libs and I watched together. ❤
If I had to pick something that I have always really wanted to write, it would be a historical fiction novel --either set in Colonial American times or in Tudor England.
@brookecarlock that's awesome!! Before you know it, you'll be traveling and doing book signings..with people lined up for blocks!! ❤️🙏
So the car took fire?
Or someone hit in them
That would have been hard what i dont get how did you other son live if it blow up or took fire.
That me hard i do understand why you didnt want to see her like that .
For me i would have want to see to make sure i believe my child is there its sad and traumatizing but better for me
A car-carrier truck hit my daughter' side of the car. It didn't catch on fire.