How Divorce Temples Helped Women Escape From Nasty Marriages

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  • Опубліковано 3 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 654

  • @Linfamy
    @Linfamy  Рік тому +349

    Would you stay at a temple for a year to get divorced?
    Don’t have to go to a temple to support the channel though: www.patreon.com/Linfamy

    • @moncmaru
      @moncmaru Рік тому +1

      Enronces no todos los budistas pese a que hay un libro llamado "tinieblaa tibetanas" pero algo bueno tenian que tener pa que s3 expandiera

    • @fran3ro
      @fran3ro Рік тому +7

      You know what famous clan didn't like daughters' divorces?

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +6

      @@fran3ro what clan? 🤔

    • @fran3ro
      @fran3ro Рік тому +4

      @@Linfamy Fuji-something if I remember correctly

    • @casbienbarr
      @casbienbarr Рік тому +1

      what kinder snacks they got?

  • @Mugiwara2k
    @Mugiwara2k Рік тому +2530

    “She had a caring husband… he cared a lot about prostitutes”
    Ok, that fake-out legit cracked me the hell up 😂

    • @blenderbanana
      @blenderbanana 11 місяців тому +22

      The Shogun of Mis-directs

    • @SusieLostHerDog
      @SusieLostHerDog 9 місяців тому +10

      Fake-out legit is crazy

    • @Lilith-bw9pq
      @Lilith-bw9pq 6 місяців тому +4

      Very caring indeed. 😂💥

    • @jacobp.2024
      @jacobp.2024 5 місяців тому +9

      The wildflower one was slightly more subtle. Cracked me up twice as much.

  • @rayssasantos6815
    @rayssasantos6815 Рік тому +999

    "one small step for a woman,one giant leap from your abusive ass" gonna memorize that one

  • @Kyerishrose
    @Kyerishrose Рік тому +1600

    That picture of the woman throwing the sandals is a powerful piece of a primary source. I love looking at contemporary artwork of the history being studied

    • @ferretyluv
      @ferretyluv Рік тому +37

      It’s not exactly a primary source. It’d be a secondary source since it’s a painter reporting on the fact. A primary source would be like documents tracking the number of divorces that year or whatever.

    • @j.kaimori3848
      @j.kaimori3848 Рік тому +19

      ​@@ferretyluv painting and the record are both primary sources

    • @cam4636
      @cam4636 Рік тому +5

      @@j.kaimori3848 Uh...no? Primary source would be dealing directly with the people involved during the actual event, secondary source would be recreating the event/taking the information from records or from others talking _about_ the event. Primary vs secondary (vs tertiary etc) is about the degree of separation from the actual events.

    • @MimifBones
      @MimifBones Рік тому +4

      Anyone know what the piece is called? Trying to find a copy with no success

    • @Kyerishrose
      @Kyerishrose Рік тому +1

      @@MimifBones I’m not sure but maybe you can put the picture through google, maybe?

  • @mattcy6591
    @mattcy6591 Рік тому +3025

    I was staying in Kyoto few years ago. I was just wandering around town and came across this shrine with a long line of women. It was pretty neat. Late that night I went to a bar and there were two gentlemen drinking beer. One of them asked me how I liked Kyoto and I asked them about the shrine I found. A quiet drunk man in the corner speaks up and says "it's a shrine for women." He then ordered another beer. Im like oh cool thats interesting. 5 min later He says "it's a shrine to pray for divorce." He sat there quietly for another 15 minutes and ordered another beer. He speaks up again and says "my wife went to that shrine".
    And then we all bought another round and held up our glasses

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +321

      Amazing story

    • @zainiikhwan9405
      @zainiikhwan9405 Рік тому +266

      "That's tough bro..."

    • @samuraijackoff5354
      @samuraijackoff5354 Рік тому

      "Fuck man."

    • @ComanderSazabi2000
      @ComanderSazabi2000 Рік тому +335

      Well at least his wife didn't turn into the moon

    • @Sienisota
      @Sienisota Рік тому +212

      It's still better that she was praying for divorce, than picking specific herbs to be used as spices on a dinner only meant for her husband... But divorce pretty much always sucks, it's rare for those to go smoothly, no matter who inmates it.

  • @mm-uj4qz
    @mm-uj4qz Рік тому +1418

    I read a book about women who wanted divorce in Edo period and how they "persuaded" their husbands to give them one - one was spending money like crazy, burning candles, taking long hot baths and adding not enough salt to pickled foods so they got rotten. Another one was so desperate that she run the town... naked. So many creative ways to finally break free, huh.
    The book is fictional, but I strongly believe that women might have been clever enough to use similar techniques.

    • @anqeal
      @anqeal Рік тому +55

      do you remember the book title? i'd like to read it!

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +310

      They absolutely did do all kinds of things to convince their husbands to divorce. Going to temple was an option if that didn't work.

    • @RebeccaOre
      @RebeccaOre Рік тому +51

      @@Linfamy South Carolina didn't allow women to divorce husbands until the Reconstruction government.

    • @TheMichigami
      @TheMichigami Рік тому +61

      @@RebeccaOre ​ pennsylvania pretty much didn't until the 1980s. you could file, but both parties had to agree the marriage was unsaveable and sign, and there wasn't a no-fault divorce before then. If your husband refused to sign the papers, you were just married forever, unless you went to another state that did things differently and lived there long enough for residency, or managed to hide somewhere from him for three years to count as separated to get divorced without needing his signature to get it. also quite a few forms of abuse weren't considered "marital misconduct" enough to qualify for divorce back then, and if you had kids they were likely to refuse to allow the divorce "for the children." things are better now, not as good as they should be, but better than they were even then at least.

    • @MikaelaKMajorHistory
      @MikaelaKMajorHistory Рік тому +37

      Probably somewhat based in reality. My grandma did that when she was engaged to a really old man as a young woman. He didn’t want to leave her even if she made him broke so she ran away

  • @Funnyfish66
    @Funnyfish66 Рік тому +204

    Imagine paying the abuser. "Sorry our daughter didn't want to be stuck with your crap-ass son..."

  • @Randamono
    @Randamono Рік тому +1040

    Temples were really multifunctional weren’t they? Divorce centrals, local warrior monk castle, pain in the butt to politicians, you name it!
    What would’ve happened if a daughter of the Tokugawa went to one after being married to the imperial family to allow her family control over the courts🤔

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +126

      Temples were pretty cool :)

    • @taroxan
      @taroxan Рік тому +13

      Now they have conbini stores instead 😅

    • @AudieHolland
      @AudieHolland Рік тому +40

      From 'reading' the comic Usagi Yojimbo, thoroughly historically researched by its creator, Stan Sakai, I learned that
      all the hundreds or thousands of shrines dotted around the landscape, usually on much travelled routes, serve as potential sleeping place for weary travellers.
      Rather similar to the mountain huts in the Alp Mountains, probably in other mountains also. Although these mountain huts also store some supplies I believe to aid climbers who cannot move because of bad weather. The general code of use is that you leave the mountain hut as it was when you first entered it. Meaning you will have to buy supplies that you used up and replace them.

    • @ferretyluv
      @ferretyluv Рік тому +4

      @@AudieHollandot sure how that’s possible considering you’re probably stranded. How exactly are you supposed to lug stuff back there, considering that the only reason you’re in the hut is because you’re lost and the weather is bad?
      And yeah, in all the folklore I’ve read, those shrines’ main purpose seems to be a place for someone to sleep in on the side of the road.

    • @AudieHolland
      @AudieHolland Рік тому +15

      @@ferretyluv The situattion with the mountain huts is very different. It's now, modern times, so if people use them, it's not problem for them to restock them.
      Only when the weather is really bad it can be a problem.
      But after the storm has passed, probably after the person has returned home, they can still have the hut restocked by the locals and those who used it pay for that.

  • @ikishagreen5560
    @ikishagreen5560 Рік тому +4269

    It's crazy that the husbands didn't want to treat their wives respectfully, but didn't want them to leave either.

  • @TheShadowChesireCat
    @TheShadowChesireCat Рік тому +1004

    Gotta say, 3 years of temple life to seperate from an abusive relationship, would probably be beneficial.
    Calm situation after the special hell that is domestic violence would probably help if it was bad enough to give historical Japanese DV PTSD.
    I have DV PTSD, and it's a figurative pain in the ass. A temple stay would have helped a bit with decompressing from the situation. But personally, I'd rather no one of any gender suffer through the hell of DV.

    • @tomorrow4eva
      @tomorrow4eva Рік тому +167

      I was thinking this too. Coming out of a bad relationship, you have a place to stay, something to eat and something to do, plus people around to chase off your ex or any flying monkeys if they try to come knocking.

  • @irondragonmaiden
    @irondragonmaiden Рік тому +1947

    Thank fuck for no-fault divorce. Seriously, there should be a sign saying "divorce ends BAD marriages, it's a GOOD thing that BAD MARRIAGES aren't allowed to fester"

    • @Aelffwynn
      @Aelffwynn Рік тому +268

      People look at me sideways when I congratulate someone on ending a long-term relationship. But what am I supposed to do? Tell them it's sad that they got out of something that clearly wasn't working?
      Better to have a bad breakup than a bad relationship.

    • @chaoticdusk1316
      @chaoticdusk1316 Рік тому +142

      Exactly! You let that shit fester and that's how you end up with a murder case or suicide. A divorce lets both parties come out alive which is a far better alternative.

    • @RandomName-my2uo
      @RandomName-my2uo Рік тому +96

      Everyone who isn't abusive knows that. It's only abusers who want no fault divorce to go away

    • @Ninjaananas
      @Ninjaananas Рік тому +20

      ​@@RandomName-my2uo
      The GOP actually wants it gone.

    • @randomwolfygirl
      @randomwolfygirl Рік тому +23

      People can divorce for other reasons as well, like falling out of love.

  • @blackivy7582
    @blackivy7582 Рік тому +611

    Yeah, so in my tribe(I'm Native), a woman could divorce her husband by placing his belongings (tools/gear/clothing/ect) outside the home for 3 days and nights. And if he didn't collect it and go back to his family by then? Oh, well it was lit ablaze, and the woman was free to remarry after. And about the ex? Well, depending on the reason for divorce, there was a high possibility that he couldn't remarry.

    • @younglingmaid2526
      @younglingmaid2526 Рік тому +28

      That’s interesting. Which tribe do you belong to if I may ask you?

    • @blackivy7582
      @blackivy7582 Рік тому +110

      @@younglingmaid2526 Cherokee, Eastern band specifically. There's an important distinction between the two bands.
      Also this is an older practice, just fyi.

    • @pila1280
      @pila1280 Рік тому +26

      So nice. No hassle divorce.

    • @kitkatandanongacha6339
      @kitkatandanongacha6339 Рік тому +10

      That's really interesting. I'm definitely gonna remember this

    • @Joyride37
      @Joyride37 Рік тому +49

      Ive heard there’s a general trend of native tribes traditionally having better rights and autonomy for women than in many other parts of the world. Maybe not every tribe, but the average is higher than elsewhere. I do wonder what historic forces led to that development compared to many parts of Eurasia
      I believe the Viking era of some Nordic cultures also had this practice too. It was a pretty warlike culture and the rights of women didn’t apply to all women (since they practiced slavery and female infanticide), but adult women of the culture had more autonomy than in other parts of Europe for the day

  • @MorganJ
    @MorganJ Рік тому +528

    I feel sad that I'm like "that's so easy! It's awesome that there were so many options for abused women to escape!" because in a lot of European countries throughout history, there have been almost no freaking options for abused women to get a divorce. 19th century Japan was very forward thinking compared to a lot of other places in the 19th century.

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +28

      😂

    • @CutestMeows
      @CutestMeows Рік тому +56

      Sadly, only two of these temples existed..

    • @naheleshiriki5496
      @naheleshiriki5496 Рік тому +85

      Uhhhh did you forget the part that there's only two of them that they have to pay and spend several years of their life in a religious temple? Meanwhile, the dude gets to just sign a piece of paper and keep the kids?

    • @MorganJ
      @MorganJ Рік тому +83

      @@naheleshiriki5496 Yet it was STILL better than in Regency England where you needed a freaking act of Parliament.

    • @米空軍パイロット
      @米空軍パイロット Рік тому +5

      ​@@michaelmurdock4607Was it actually breath, or was that metaphor of sorts?

  • @biancabaznaru4071
    @biancabaznaru4071 Рік тому +68

    Imagen your wife running away and the next day receving a letter that says "We bout to roll up on your porch homie" 💀

  • @Jobe-13
    @Jobe-13 Рік тому +1284

    Pretty cool how women had enough power to get divorced.

    • @Skeloperch
      @Skeloperch Рік тому +193

      Women have had more power, historically, than people normally think. For example, women in Medieval England frequently ran local businesses and could own property. Your social class actually had more bearing on your opportunities in life than your gender did unless you were rich. Rich women were far more limited in what they were allowed to do, but if you asked any of the lower class women whether they'd want to live the life of a miserable noblewoman or an empowered peasant woman, they'd probably choose the former.

    • @kunderwo33
      @kunderwo33 Рік тому +82

      @@SkeloperchMaslow’s hierarchy is in play here I’d expect; rights are great but not as important as significantly lower chances of starving or freezing to death.

    • @Phantom86d
      @Phantom86d Рік тому +22

      You should look up the Medieval Divorce duels.

    • @JasTheSass
      @JasTheSass Рік тому +59

      The Viking age of Norway wasn’t terrible for women either. Norwegian women were still considered to be inferior to men even if they were of a fairly high class, but the law mostly protected them from sexual harassment and they could initiate divorce proceedings. They could also own land and businesses and do religious work.

    • @Sienisota
      @Sienisota Рік тому +67

      ​@@JasTheSassYes, and in ancient Norse cultures, rape of a free woman was also punished severely, you could get tortured or killed if you got caught doing it. Not so much for the women taken in raids, but daughters of locals had a right to not get raped, and it wasn't considered a woman’s fault if men couldn't control themselves.
      In many places it was possible to use your wife as a birthing machine, because your sisters, aunts and grandmothers lived in the same house: Husband wasn't dependent on his wife alone to take care of the kids, so you could basically abuse her and just give her children to be raised by your mother and sisters.
      One of the reasons women got their rights back, was because our households got smaller: Wives had to help in raising their children and take care of the house mostly on their own, without other women's help... and it really isn't smart to treat badly the only woman who made your food and raised your children.

  • @hermeticbear
    @hermeticbear Рік тому +112

    and there is always the oldest means of getting out of a bad marriage.
    Poisoning your spouse.

  • @lupacica
    @lupacica Рік тому +316

    That's the case for most divorce pleas today too : A caring husband who cares a lot....about prostitutes or other women 😅

    • @teresawelter7530
      @teresawelter7530 Рік тому +23

      That line really sent me 😂😂😂

    • @lupacica
      @lupacica Рік тому +9

      @@teresawelter7530 Yep The creator of the video @Linfamy really put it in such nice and funny words 😁 ( I love his humor 🤩 )
      Sometimes husbands care too much for wifes to understand lol 😂😂😂

  • @marionetteproject508
    @marionetteproject508 Рік тому +275

    this art style is so cute! yet historically accurate and interesting!

  • @rickardspaghetti
    @rickardspaghetti Рік тому +207

    I remember this coming up in an episode of Samurai Champloo, but instead of the husband going to brothels all the time, it was the wife. Because the husband had forced her to go into prostitution to pay off his debts... Anyway, Jin decided to help her run away to a monastery so she could seek divorce.

    • @angwypengwy
      @angwypengwy 6 місяців тому +2

      Ahhh the nostalgia

    • @SusieBlup
      @SusieBlup 6 місяців тому +1

      I remembered the same thing!

    • @Prich319
      @Prich319 5 місяців тому

      I was thinking of that same episode.

    • @Eszra
      @Eszra 5 місяців тому

      Yes i loved that episode! I really like to think Jin went back for her when she was released.

    • @davy209
      @davy209 3 місяці тому

      That was the first thing i thought about when watching this video!

  • @YvetteArby
    @YvetteArby Рік тому +106

    1 - 3 years in a temple? It sounds like a time of refuge and healing.

  • @you2angel1
    @you2angel1 Рік тому +126

    This is comforting to know. As a survivor of domestic violence I know first-hand how incredibly difficult it is to separate & end the relationship. Scary too.
    I'm so glad that this was provided for it just makes me feel good & happy.
    Thank you °~•.♡.•~°

    • @julesoxana
      @julesoxana Рік тому +8

      Youre so strong❤ praying and hoping youre safe and well❤

  • @Salamanders01
    @Salamanders01 Рік тому +137

    Built a bookshelf, finished filling it, spent all afternoon playing on the switch with friends, then stopped to eat and call it a night. Only to find a Linfamy uploaded, this day just keeps getting better I swear.

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +20

      Good job building the bookshelf :)

  • @TheCrimsonElite666
    @TheCrimsonElite666 Рік тому +223

    The explanation that Japanese women cut their hair short as part of the procedure to divorce from their husbands might also explain why some Japanese girls cut their hair short after a break-up. Additionally, it may be the reason why Lilith is almost always depicted with short hair in Japanese media since it might symbolise her divorce from Adam. Although I can't tell if her short hair stems from those traditions, or depictions of Lilith in Japan are influenced by Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion (that might also explain why Lilith in Japanese media is usually depicted with blue hair), if it's the latter then that is such a bizarre coincidence.

    • @JinxedPixie88
      @JinxedPixie88 Рік тому +15

      Well... Rei IS an incarnation of Lilith. Kind of. It's more like Lilith manifests herself in Rei's form, and since Eva is such a touchstone work, later depictions of Lilith reference her appearance when she and Rei merged.

    • @TheCrimsonElite666
      @TheCrimsonElite666 Рік тому +18

      @@JinxedPixie88 Amazing what one piece of art can do to permanently alter the public's perception of one character. Although, in the case of Lilith, this is not the first time this has happened to her. Paintings in the romanticism period such as "Lady Lilith" popularised the depiction of her with long red hair in the west; and when paired up with her Japanese depictions with short blue hair, they coincidently form a red oni, blue oni pairing.

    • @t.k.griffin1315
      @t.k.griffin1315 Рік тому +28

      When women go through major life changes they usually cut their hair. It’s not a strictly Japanese thing to do. Women in America will cut their hair after they get married, after they have a child, after they get a new job, or after they get a divorce.

    • @Manas-co8wl
      @Manas-co8wl Рік тому

      Funny seeing Lilith here..

    • @xdlr22
      @xdlr22 5 місяців тому +2

      @@t.k.griffin1315yes I think this is a common theme across many cultures. I personally cut my hair when I wanted to reflect outside that I had become free inside… for many different scenarios. Experience and memories are attached to your hair as it grows. When you cut it, it feels like you’re starting fresh. You still have the old memories but they are no longer an outward part of you, and you let go of attachment to them. That’s how I always interpreted it.

  • @SilverDragonJay
    @SilverDragonJay Рік тому +281

    This feels like an appropriate place to put this: **ALL DIVORCE IS GOOD**
    I'm just saying: a perfectly happy couple doesn't just trip over a divorce. "Oops, took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, guess we're divorced now." But the way some people talk about no-fault divorce you'd think that having that option open causes people to end marriages for shits and giggles. They don't even consider that maybe you _don't_ actually want to be married to someone who will end a marriage for fun. They'll say shit like "women will divorce over men not doing chores" but...like...do you really want to be married to someone like that? do you really want to be married to someone who takes your vows so unseriously that, if provided with the opportunity, they will dump you over insignificant problems? Sounds like you're going to have problems eventually and might as well save yourself the trouble. Find someone who you vibe with better.
    I mean, have some self respect, geez. (and for the record: a spouse refusing to help care for the home that you are co-habitating isn't an insignificant problem, just putting that out there. Obviously unless you've jointly agreed that one person will handle all of it. Yes, I know, some people have that dynamic where one works and the other handles the chores and its all hunky-dory. Its called consent and communication, but not everyone has that in their marriage and that is a perfectly valid reason to chuck that marriage in the trash.)

    • @tomorrow4eva
      @tomorrow4eva Рік тому +47

      I like your reasoning. I think a lot of people do not take their vows seriously, and it's not unreasonable to want a divorce if they are not being a partner. And I think the people that whine about getting divorced over 'little reasons' are probably not mature enough for marriage. Or they married a dud who divorced them for silly reasons. XD

    • @TomFranklinX
      @TomFranklinX 11 місяців тому +3

      All divorce is good, until you realize that she gets half your stuff despite making 30% of the income, and you'll most likely lose your kids.

    • @ShortSkullDog
      @ShortSkullDog 5 місяців тому

      Not always, I mean my mom probably makes a large amount of the income too.​@TomFranklinX

    • @zodiac5403
      @zodiac5403 4 місяці тому +2

      ​@@TomFranklinXIf she's getting paid less than you it's either a) because pf the wage gap
      b) she is in a lower paying job or position than you.
      Also the half and half thing only exists if you have sole custody of the kids and the other parent has to pitch in their share (which is 10% generally not 50% like you're touting it to be) or is a housewife who had no method of income of their own. You'll only lose the rights to your kids if you were an exceptionaly bad father otherwise by court regulations it's 50/50 custody between the two for the sake of the children.

  • @Jwa-fo6nb
    @Jwa-fo6nb Рік тому +75

    This is how it should be for kids, don't understand why in this day and age the government will still try to forced children to go back to their abusive parents. Evil

  • @yesthatmousyiris4887
    @yesthatmousyiris4887 Рік тому +60

    The hairpin with hair reminds me of Ruyi's Royal Love where Ruyi cut her hair to end her marriage with Qianlong. I'm glad women that are in bad marriages have a chance to divorce. (Even though its easier said then done.)

  • @Harrow567
    @Harrow567 7 місяців тому +3

    5:06
    I love the little guy on the side looking at the other two talking to each other. He looks so adorable I think all of your little cartoons are adorable.

  • @stephaniehoyland4901
    @stephaniehoyland4901 Рік тому +23

    Preferred wild flowers over the flower in his home, great way of putting it

  • @SewardWriter
    @SewardWriter Рік тому +217

    Israel has had to implement a law to force men to sign getim, divorce decrees. There's a detail in Halachah (Jewish law) that states that a wife requires a get. Some men refused to give them despite abandoning their families, and now their options are to flee Israel and keep running until his body turns up, go to prison, or sign the get. Keep in mind that the agunot (chained women, women without getim) are profoundly restricted in what they can do, depending on how Orthodox they are. It's messy.
    Ironically, the law originated to prevent spouses from ghosting.

    • @dannylo5875
      @dannylo5875 Рік тому

      So their was a sexist rule that not all human beings were equal and some were sentient items just to rip apart no matter what!? Fuck all Abrahamic faiths religions and beliefs. Its a mockery of human rights.

    • @MandatedReporter
      @MandatedReporter 5 місяців тому +1

      My great grandmothers story basically

    • @SewardWriter
      @SewardWriter 5 місяців тому +1

      @@MandatedReporter Oof, that sucks. I'm so sorry she had to go through that. I'll never understand get refusal.

  • @myentertainment55
    @myentertainment55 Рік тому +35

    Yes, even if divorce is usually sad thing, it helps to finally escape from abusive woman or man.
    The worst thing that could happen when divorce will turn sour and your wife (or husband) will start to accusing you of things you never committed and never thought about.
    If you have vastly different amount of wealth or kids are involved (the worst part) it is frequently gets messy.
    Don't rush into marriage because your husband/wife is hot, rich, famous etc, give it time.
    The main question to answer, what my wife/husband will do when things will get hard, when things will get boring, when there will be misunderstandings and conflicts of interests.
    I said not if, I said when.
    If you have any doubts if you wife/husband will leave you on a spot when something like that happened - don't marry them.
    Probably don't even date them. Imagine you are getting diagnosed with some horrible disease, you lose your job/business and can't recover for long time.
    What your partner will do?

  • @lightsoulja
    @lightsoulja Рік тому +28

    I really like your channel. I learn a lot of things about Japan's edo period. It's very cool.

  • @dannylo5875
    @dannylo5875 Рік тому +48

    Wish this was the case in our society for those abused or in danger for crimes not committed or innocent. Human nature does not change at all.

  • @laurabustos6560
    @laurabustos6560 Рік тому +18

    Way to make my Friday evening Linfamy!!🎉🙏✨👌✨✌️✨

  • @jamiemunger2931
    @jamiemunger2931 Рік тому +43

    Divorce is always important, even if there are kids in the crossfire. My parents only got married when my mom got pregnant with me, so i wouldnt be illegitimate when i was born. They divorced before I even knew what baby food was. I have never seen them in the same building together. Never seen them side by side. But they still managed to have a decade long war over me, and i was forced to leave the life i knew to go love with my dad at 8.
    Even though the constant fighting and abuse still affects me, i can confidently say that divorce is good even for a child. Otherwise i would have been stuck with him my whole life instead of having the chance to pick "the other side"

  • @kaylenvee8150
    @kaylenvee8150 6 місяців тому +7

    That nettle tree bark thing sounds suspiciously like poisoning your husband. Which is a fair enough tactic if divorce isn't an option.

  • @KapiteinKrentebol
    @KapiteinKrentebol Рік тому +21

    Fun fact, divorced wives make the best ninjas.

  • @Prof9299
    @Prof9299 Рік тому +23

    Had a rough day, but seeing you uploaded help cheer me up a bit. Always look forward to your new videos

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +5

      Hope your day gets better :)

  • @steel8231
    @steel8231 Рік тому +7

    3 years in a temple seems pretty light as far as historical divorce goes.

  • @RavenPeake
    @RavenPeake 5 місяців тому +4

    "... Showed her the design of the front gate" is just... 20/10.

  • @bigfootpart4therevengeancing
    @bigfootpart4therevengeancing Рік тому +7

    Fascinating stuff, and I am always happy to see a new upload.

  • @michellecrocker2485
    @michellecrocker2485 Рік тому +44

    Could a divorced woman remarry after she left the temple

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +39

      Yep 👍

    • @MandatedReporter
      @MandatedReporter 5 місяців тому +1

      They could be "spirited away" to another region for rehousing

    • @michellecrocker2485
      @michellecrocker2485 5 місяців тому

      @@MandatedReporter i would hate to think who would get child custody. If the husband was a terrible person, no doubt they wouldn’t be much better of a father

  • @kevineastwood-tm2mt
    @kevineastwood-tm2mt Рік тому +5

    I absolutely love this channel man! This commentary is hilarious, informative but hilarious!

  • @aldryrththerainbowdragon9081
    @aldryrththerainbowdragon9081 Рік тому +42

    Considering how badly women were treated in the past, it always makes me happy that place where they could seek refuge existed

    • @jebes909090
      @jebes909090 6 місяців тому

      Probably the majority of them wete still treated well and the temple was made by men.

    • @youngspaghettii
      @youngspaghettii 5 місяців тому

      ​@jebes909090 damn you sound insecure af 😂 we can acknowledge that a huge amount of women were oppressed (more women than men btw) without bringing up that some people had it good. It's strange that you feel the need to bring up information that's completely irrelevant to the point made just because you're uncomfortable with the fact that factually women had it harder than men in almost all of history. The times when it went the opposite way are few and far between. If it makes you uncomfortable, maybe work to be a good guy not to try to undermine people who have empathy for women 😂

  • @animalia5554
    @animalia5554 Рік тому +16

    Stuff like this makes me wonder why I haven’t given up on life and spiraled into cynicism and mysanthopy. Yet somehow despite it all. I still believe. Stupid hope.

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +9

      Cling on to that hope!

    • @KxNOxUTA
      @KxNOxUTA 6 місяців тому

      @@Linfamy You'd rather recommend her to suffer? Interesting.

    • @KxNOxUTA
      @KxNOxUTA 6 місяців тому +2

      Ditch the hope and live live just cause you can and care for yourself and your needs as much as possible (and I'm not suggesting to do so at the detriment of others, ofcourse). I feel you. It's crazy rough here and men are trying a bit more in some places, but it's still mostly quite a disaster. It takes generations to mend all the damage that past time bigotry has caused within societies. And we're still producing more as we go, so things go at snail pace.
      We cannot afford to give even a single inch to bigoted behaviours. Tolerance stops at intolerance. And there is space and there are ppl who get that, so find your tribe, be with them, and drop the hate into the same bin as hope and allow yourself to be and to observe life from a quiet internal place. And if some day we can no more, then so be it. We've worked very hard and we've contributed on every day that we spent without starting wars out of vengeance (sth. they do all the f*ing time, damn it. So much so that the count of days without any war globally are an embarrassing pitiful account to that).
      Find your calm place. When you spiral negatively, rest. If it gets worse through rest, do something simple and very doable and do it so mindfully that there's no room to spiral anywhere, between a breath and another breath.
      May you be well.

    • @SuperGlue4321
      @SuperGlue4321 6 місяців тому

      @@KxNOxUTAYour comment is full of wisdom. Gave me some relief. Thank you so much ❤

  • @brandibeloved1959
    @brandibeloved1959 Рік тому +9

    Love your videos, you're such an awesome story teller. 😂

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому

      Glad you like the vids!

  • @jinxiankalista9424
    @jinxiankalista9424 Рік тому +7

    Still going strong linfamy! KEEP IT UP!

  • @presidentcherry6193
    @presidentcherry6193 Рік тому +56

    Hurray for temples

  • @frenchiesottises8193
    @frenchiesottises8193 Рік тому +20

    This is honestly the kind of thing every country should have. I don't know what power churches have when it comes to caring for the abused, but if they aren't places of refuge for those in abusive situations, not just marriage, they definitely should be.

    • @kitkatandanongacha6339
      @kitkatandanongacha6339 Рік тому +4

      Sadly as for a few churches I know (not all of these btw)
      They'll discourage seeking divorce and refuge away from the husband, and say "maybe you two need marriage counseling" but specifically from the church. This tends to end with the "therapist" telling the wife to stay, to be a better wife, to be there for the husband more.

    • @KxNOxUTA
      @KxNOxUTA 6 місяців тому

      It's very common to have international organizations around the world providing shelter to women and helping them with divorce procedures. It may not be in every corner of the world but in many. But there's so freaking much abuse that their capacities are ..... ///orz///

  • @skywise001
    @skywise001 Рік тому +3

    Really facinating stuff (esp about the nettle tree).

  • @humongousfungusamongus3871
    @humongousfungusamongus3871 6 місяців тому +3

    I love the 3 shaved headed women gossiping about Monks! ❤🤣🤣🤣

  • @christiannordvall4021
    @christiannordvall4021 Рік тому +37

    Will any of these be retroactively made into numbered "History of Japan" (Edo Period) episodes? It's anxiety-inducing that the official series currently ends at Episode 93 rather than Episode 100. 😅

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +6

      Sorry to trigger your OCD :p
      No, I think these are peripheral to the series.

  • @moonied4867
    @moonied4867 Рік тому +3

    Nothing beats bursting into laughter in the middle of a cube farm because of the video you're listening to so you can drown out the monotony

  • @moonstonepearl21
    @moonstonepearl21 Рік тому +2

    How this was handled is so interesting.

  • @TheDramacist
    @TheDramacist Рік тому +4

    Probably saved quite a few lives! Id watch a movie or anime about this

  • @ThomasBarsegian-co3du
    @ThomasBarsegian-co3du Рік тому +2

    Learning alot from you and your channel 🤔♥️🇯🇵♥️ your hilarious creative and intelligent,thanks for the work. Keep up your sense of humor😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @amandaevans820
    @amandaevans820 Рік тому +7

    Temple:you may get your divorce Husband:i own her .wife:im running to a divorce temple.Husband: no no

  • @nicolestewart6984
    @nicolestewart6984 Рік тому +42

    Smart women, we need more protection like this everywhere, let us have rights like this all the time.

    • @humansvd3269
      @humansvd3269 5 місяців тому

      Women have more rights and get cash prizes in court all the time, even they cheat and cause the divorce.

  • @ZealPropht
    @ZealPropht Рік тому +13

    Wow! That’s so interesting! It’s nice to know that there were options for women stuck in bad marriages, even if those options weren’t always ideal.

  • @annna-2103
    @annna-2103 Рік тому +16

    Finally he remembered the password 🥳

  • @Lucious410
    @Lucious410 Рік тому +3

    Thanks for sharing 😆

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому

      Thanks for watching!

  • @EllpaFox47
    @EllpaFox47 Рік тому +2

    “Killer queries you clever kitsune”
    HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

  • @OrisR
    @OrisR Рік тому +4

    Gambai for those temples!! 🎉🎉

  • @mo_7199
    @mo_7199 Рік тому +6

    wake up guys linfamy posted

  • @Tarotqueen-uv1qy
    @Tarotqueen-uv1qy Рік тому +6

    Japanese culture is really very interesting especially in the turn of the century. I’m sure the women were very happy to have some protection and have some sort of option which woman around the word have struggled with even till this day.

  • @richt63
    @richt63 Рік тому +3

    Fantastic ❤ I love this video ❤

  • @amandaevans820
    @amandaevans820 Рік тому +6

    Interesting video I see so Divorce was a thing in Edo peroid Japan.Ahh histroy is so dark❤❤

  • @meimei8718
    @meimei8718 Рік тому

    This is really interesting. Thanks for the video.

  • @StonedtotheBones13
    @StonedtotheBones13 5 місяців тому +1

    Huh... I remember reading a book where there was a princess whose mother was being divorced by the father/emperor and had to shave her head and go to monastery, and the mom talked about how lucky she was/how she got off easy. Which in context, now makes some sense. Also in many women's shelters today, one can stay there for as long as needed to keep safe from abusive assholes

  • @couldntholdacandle6681
    @couldntholdacandle6681 Рік тому

    😂😂😂🎉❤ Thank you I needed that.

  • @Ancaryvan
    @Ancaryvan Рік тому +7

    Ah~~ You have Yakuza: Kenzan? There is a side mission base on this story. Solutions: Musashi Miyamoto brutally beat up the abusive husband.

  • @unterdessen8822
    @unterdessen8822 Рік тому +28

    Engelhardt is a German name and consists of 2 parts (as most of them do):
    Engel is the modern German word for "angel", but in a historic context it can also refer to the tribe of the Angles, after whom England is named. They moved over to Great Britain from the northern German peninsula Anglia, along with the (German) Saxons and (Danish) Jutes in the 5th century. Some Angles (and Saxons and Jutes) stayed at home, so you can find people of those tribes in both places.
    Hardt, hardt, hard or hart means "strong" (like a warrior) and is obviously related to the English word "hard".
    An Engelhardt would either be a "strong Angle tribesman" (on his way to conquer the British mainland) or, if we take the more modern reading, a "strong angel", aka something like a "battle angel" kicking Hell's legions' asses under St. Michael's command.
    This used to be a first name in ancient times (before Christianisation), but also became a surname in (Christianised) medieval times.
    When it's used as a surname, there's a 99% chance, that it doesn't refer to Angles, but means "battle angel". Because surnames only became a thing, when the church was already in charge.

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +4

      Thanks for the info!

  • @GeorgeMonet
    @GeorgeMonet Рік тому +7

    What happened to the woman's land when she entered the temple and then what happened to it after she was considered divorced by the temple?

    • @dannylo5875
      @dannylo5875 Рік тому +3

      They should have sent money and important documents to be protected ahead of them to the temple

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +18

      A woman's property was her own, before and after divorce. Things were more complicated with an adoptive husband who inherited land from his wife's family. That was handled through negotiations.

  • @D.S.Borromeo
    @D.S.Borromeo Рік тому +6

    Linfamy: Hold on to your kids because about to get divorce
    Me: I didn't know your my husband

  • @jeanfalconer6377
    @jeanfalconer6377 Рік тому +3

    It took me longer than it should have to realise begone abuser was a take on begone thot. 🤦‍♀and also I saw the little bonus in the cc box.

  • @Granny21
    @Granny21 6 місяців тому +6

    In 1955, my aunt could not divorce her abusive husband (N.Y. ) She was able to go to NM, establish residency, after 6 wks she filed for uncontested divorce.

  • @idraote
    @idraote Рік тому +20

    The more time passes, the more convinced I am that remaining single was the best idea.

    • @Aelffwynn
      @Aelffwynn Рік тому +8

      Don't ever give that up unless you meet someone who makes your life objectively AND subjectively better overall. And even then, consider carefully before you decide on cohabitation. I love my spouse so fully and it's very much worth it. But I feel like 99% of marriages (if not more) are borne out of convenience/obligation/societal expectation/emotional neediness, and not just like...realizing you're super happy together and want to make each other's lives better.

  • @senditall152
    @senditall152 Рік тому +4

    That is quite cool.

  • @sabernightrose3691
    @sabernightrose3691 Рік тому

    Love your content, they're so halariously told that I'm never bord and so much to learn ❤

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому

      Glad you like the vids :)

  • @JanaSzIsBasicGlitch
    @JanaSzIsBasicGlitch 6 місяців тому +2

    I don't know woman running from man throwing her boots into temple is soooo easy picture to read 🤣 for some reason, pretty funny, but also sad tough.

  • @iskandartaib
    @iskandartaib Рік тому

    I watched a movie once which was set in one of these temples.

  • @atashikokoni
    @atashikokoni Рік тому +13

    My question is why she had to spend 2 years in a temple when she was the victim? Lmao

    • @gamept571
      @gamept571 Рік тому +3

      ​@@xionmemoriabureaucracy my friend, bureaucracy

    • @kawaibakaneko
      @kawaibakaneko Рік тому +14

      Maybe in case of pregnancy?
      There is old laws about women waiting more or less one year before getting remarried so that we are sure if she end up pregnant the baby is not from her ex husband.
      My other guess is that they stay at the temple to heal and have the time to think of what they wanted in life.
      And I guess free labor for the temple as a thank you?

    • @thejasminedragonmerchant6843
      @thejasminedragonmerchant6843 Рік тому +9

      The temple would be a place of refuge (like if the husband was violent, or even simply if the wife wanted to be able to be physically separate from her soon-to-be-ex-husband for personal comfort reasons since this was likely a very emotionally taxing time for her). This way the lady wouldn't need to immediately worry about finding safe lodgings and/or food and water once she left her spouse's household.

    • @mitsume_slay
      @mitsume_slay Рік тому

      It's probably a good reason

    • @mitsume_slay
      @mitsume_slay Рік тому

      ​@@kawaibakanekomakes sense it's a religious temple

  • @mercedeshernandez4492
    @mercedeshernandez4492 Рік тому

    Hello Linfamy! Happy Friday🎉

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому

      Happy friday to you!

  • @nadirabadri6731
    @nadirabadri6731 Рік тому +2

    Question: was the "alimony of knowledge" supposed to be a pun? Coz it was a good one. 😆

  • @BlueberryFundip
    @BlueberryFundip Рік тому +6

    Today was a bit shit so I am delighted to see more chibis😊

  • @michellecrocker2485
    @michellecrocker2485 Рік тому +9

    What if there was children in the marriage? Who got custody in the divorce?

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +26

      Oh I mentioned it, by default the man gets custody. However, it wasn't uncommon for negotiations to change that, or the man could be in a weak position and had to fight for custody.

  • @lkzhang820
    @lkzhang820 Рік тому +1

    2:47 A Kamikaze D3A or Ki-51 crashing into Cleveland Class light cruiser USS Columbia CL-56, in 01/06/1945, Lingayen Gulf.

  • @alicewilloughby4318
    @alicewilloughby4318 6 місяців тому

    3:36 - I'd never heard of this before! It sounds like a wonder boon to women and it's really upsetting that the government cut that down to only two temples, which obviously not every woman could get to.

  • @WilliamGoeth
    @WilliamGoeth Рік тому +2

    Interesting History❤.

  • @dazzdazzle8758
    @dazzdazzle8758 11 місяців тому +1

    I subbed after "hold onto your kids because we're about to get divorced"

  • @jamesmoriarty6540
    @jamesmoriarty6540 Рік тому +2

    Yay I'm early for the first time! (Its literally 4 am and I should have been asleep long ago)

    • @Linfamy
      @Linfamy  Рік тому +3

      Go to sleep you degenerate 😂

  • @QueenOfDarknessX
    @QueenOfDarknessX Рік тому +1

    Wow! Didn't even know they was an option, I thought they were just screwed

  • @evansnyamesah1755
    @evansnyamesah1755 Рік тому +1

    Freedom should be a right always

  • @angelas888
    @angelas888 Рік тому +2

    Very interesting

  • @Moeflyer6213
    @Moeflyer6213 Рік тому +1

    I watched a Japanese movie about this. It's called *Kakekomi* , it's pretty good.

  • @iglybo
    @iglybo Рік тому

    Very interesting!

  • @xnanebblett1371
    @xnanebblett1371 5 місяців тому

    Not the nettle divorce tea 😂😂

  • @Viveera2024
    @Viveera2024 2 місяці тому

    Finally a positive video on Japanese edo period. I was feeling like the women life was inescapable hell

    • @Waterbclean68
      @Waterbclean68 25 днів тому

      Well it was. And there isn’t much positive things on Japan so…

  • @bluespangle
    @bluespangle 6 місяців тому

    Thank you for this video.
    I hope you will dig into the two temples allowed by the Tokugawa Bakufu to exist throughout the period.
    Their origin goes back to the time of two women: Sen-hime, the most beloved granddaughter of Ieyasu Tokugawa, and the daughter of Hideyori Toyotomi. The latter was a stepdaughter to Sen-hime and born of a concubine. Sen-hime saved her life after the fall of the Toyotomi shogunate and Ieyasu ordered to have ALL the concubines and maid servants killed.
    Sen-hime had been made to marry Hideyori as a political pawn, and she had to re-marry after Hideyori's death, as the political landscape changed, so she was very sympathetic to the helplessness of women of the time.

  • @liuba2698
    @liuba2698 Рік тому +1

    Heading to a local animefest today to be spreading the knowledge, wish me luck

  • @m.a.9571
    @m.a.9571 Рік тому +2

    Glad I'm early for this lol