Hallmark Dating Show - SNL
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- Опубліковано 7 жов 2024
- A bachelorette (Scarlett Johansson) and some eligible bachelors (Beck Bennett, Alex Moffat, Kyle Mooney) participate in a dating show created by the algorithm that makes Hallmark holiday movies.
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The true mystery of Christmas is how the girl in every hallmark movie manages to fit seven different coats into the one carry on we see her leave the airport with.
And pumps that match each one but are somehow more rugged and suited to walking icy sidewalks than boots.
And so, so many pantsuits.
This is the greatest comment I have ever read about these movies.
She stops by all the Goodwill shops in town.
Every Hallmark Heroine gets issued a hypergeometric carry-on. Much like a TARDIS, it’s bigger on the inside. Santa uses the same technology to pack his sleigh.
"A single dry kiss".
The ending of every Hallmark movie.
You forgot the marriage after a month at the end!
@@MsTimelady71 Yes! And then she's blissfully knocked up by the next Christmas 🎄
@@catherineleary9831 They also forgot the gay best friend who never gets his own love story.
@@MsTimelady71 yeah Netflix just fixed that this year with single all the way now they have to feel bad about being single too lol
Keepin it G-rated!
“Christmas is canceled and the killer goes free” the chaotic energy in this sketch is REAL
Sara S this comment made me laugh so hard.
Yes .... good sketch. It looks like SNL is improving.
Sara S don’t forget the reminder to stay straight. pure chaos
I was so damn confused, and I loved it
It’s the kind of confusion you can only get by a low budget movie thrown together in two weeks
“He answers work calls which makes him the villain”
I can’t it’s too accurate-
No, he answered them on _Christmas_ specifically. Therefore, he's Satan.
"I want him to pay for our vacations, but you know, not let that need get in the way..."
😂😂😂
“I live in stock footage New York with the Twin Towers.”
So, from 1971 to September 10th 2001?
Canais Young Probably Late 1990s to 2000 for the stock footage.
Filmed in Canada.
I noticed my reaction. A little cringe. Not bashing the skit, if I was I’d also call out “Stay straight out there”, but too soon? Do I need to find my peace and let it go?
Yeah, I hard her say that. So why do I need to read it?
That was a good line and the audience totally ignored it
This was perfect, except her "dream" job needed to be either a bakery owner, a florist, or a bookshop owner
Dollhouse wallpaper designer or dog wedding planner.
@@AnitaClue 😂😂🤣
A bookshop owner who is fighting to keep the bookshop her grandmother left her, open. While at the same time raising her niece left to her because her sister died when she exploded.
@@angeltheone350 and the homeless kittens they saved from the fighting pits.
@@angeltheone350 yess!!
The one black person in town is too accurate. "Leave me alone, I don't have a backstory"
Hahahahahaha Haaaaaaaaaa 😂
I was expecting the black friend to be more of a corporate board member from the Business Factory.
Why is everyone surprised when there are fewer black people than white people in fucking Europe?
@@Cactuscupholder Because Hallmark movies are set in US cities where there are plenty of Black Americans.
@@Yolie-jk7ng Actually I think you'll find the movie they were parodying was supposedly set in 'Europe'. It's called 'Caucasia', love.
they forgot another contestant - single dad who's the ceo of a large company
I love that movie!!
And don't forget the guy that runs an alternative school for less fortunate inner city kids. He's got a great rapport with all the kids especially his one son who is really good with computers. He's way different than any of the men she's used to. He doesn't wear fancy suits! He only wear jeans and flannel shirts because his school is out at his family farm where the kids learn about animals! And he's not worried about money because the kid's families cant pay with any real money. Only cassarole. But it's okay because he got the farm and a large inheritance from his Dad. He had a wife who died of a very rare illness that isn't really went into much detail about.
she must've EXPLODED too
@@jaycue7641 You should be writing scripts for Hallmark Movies. You are spot on.
But works in a small town.
"...for things that are actually good, like Christmas, and man."
"I'll marry Christmas!" So she's picking Santa?
"men"
yeah, I thought I heard wrong,but, you too,so, it's official
We all know there are no men in cities.
Well the true reason for Christmas is husband lol
I have never seen a single Hallmark Christmas movie, but for some reason, this sketch makes me feel like I’ve seen all of them.
My husband watches them all and I can safely, you are correct. Actually, the only difference between Hallmark Christmas movies and LMN Christmas movies is the murder.
See also: the fake commercial that got cut from the season 43 James Franco episode where he plays Canadian handsome actor Chris Bearstick.
@@thegrimmretails3777 Unless your husband is Drew Gooden I'm so confused by this.
You have, my friend, you have.
you have... I had to watch them with a cousin once when I was 6. it was... look it made the storylines on pbs kids shows look like high art.
What has 16 writers, 8 actors, and one plot? 693 Hallmark movies!
I was thinking 0 plot.
Whereas an SNL sketch has 16 actors, 8 writers, and no plot.
👀
We have a winner!
Ha, lol! So funny but I've watched and loved all 693 of them :)
“Prince Simon of Caucasia”
I died laughing...
I would've chosen the prince!
@@jenniferoakes5069 i bet 🙄
I bet as in you would've too or I bet as in because I used to be a Disney princess? Lol
Im dead. Funny af.
I feel like we need to hear more about that killer going free
I think it's tied into that article she's supposed to write. Somehow proving that Santa doesn't exist is key to making sure the killer will face justice. And that makes me feel bad for Nick St. Claus.
It's probably referencing the Kentucky governor who pardoned convicted killers last week as political favors.
@@nathanc6204 I doubt they were going for anything that deep on a Hallmark sketch.
That's Hallmark for you, you think "oooh excitement" but then they never deliver the excitement...
that old 70s movie black christmas its actually pretty chilling
Most husbands worry about getting caught watching porn. I've caught my husband watching the Hallmark channel twice this month and it's been really awkward for the both of us.
😂
Still as funny as it was 2 months ago
@Tanisha Lee Jones Because it's not even good enough for get your mind off of anything. Lol you can say every line before they do. Ha
Too funny. It's also a favorite of my big, tough father in law. 😆🤦🏼♀️🎄
Try to wean him off by showing him Lifetime Movies.
Lol I’m crying over how they referenced A Christmas Prince
They referenced every Hallmark Christmas movie
A. Brunnermeier I love all 3 films!
@@PhoenixAngelRVS b. hhj mmmmbbxxfb
mnbbb .
. bvffdddzz
ghhh
you were not crying
Not only a christmas prince, there's also some goofy movie where the girl falls in love with a ghost haunting a property she has to sell, around Christmas. What? No, I never watched that....
My mom watches a lot of these so when I showed this to her, she said "I remember the one with the snowglobe."
Apparently that happened in an actual hallmark movie.
@Patronus88 i don't know, i never watched them.
crap. now I have to look that up now. look, I wouldn't have come on this thread if I'd known it would involve actual work. lol XD
must see TV 📺!!! ☃️❄
🤣🤣🤣
The true reason for Christmas is husband.
joannakathleenn stay straight out there
Or cat (grumpy cat christmas special)
🤣🤣🤣👍
Man get married
Congratulations. You successfully managed to quote a line from the clip.
Hallmark movie synopsis: a young female executive is trapped in a small town during the holidays, thrown together with a local single guy, as they save a local business from corporate takeover. They grow closer until a misunderstanding tears them apart 15 minutes from the end of the movie. But due to a hidden talent and a little ingenuity, they get back together. They kiss once.....roll credits.
Bruh don't spoil them
That's beautiful.....😥😭
I may have to book an Airbnb... My mother plays them on a loop. U just reminded me why I drink when im home lol.
Yup!
And she has perfect hair. Always.
So she married the one black friend then?He said his name was Christmas lol
I thought that was where it was going too
😉
@Walter K Bauer that would've been funnier than this dry sketch.
@@SuperAdam2468 send her the link to the video
That would have been a solid twist. Not very Hallmark-y though.
‘Christmas just hasn’t been the same since your mother exploded’ ...that one hit deep, real deep. Pouring one out for all those out there with detonated moms.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
This was written by JD from Heather's
That one felt like a mad lib, lol.
oh no, you only have very gay friends in _Lifetime_ christmas movies, even light implication is a bit progressive for Hallmark
Eh, gay people are fine for Hallmark as long as they used as gay props to give the main girl a male confidant without confusing the audience into thinking he might be a love interest.
Beyondfate132 right and no lesbians
Hallmark is "Christian Light"...all the secular shows that don't bother the extreme Bible-is-really-word-of-God types. Which is basically Lifetime-style women's movies, marathons of Little House on the Prairie and Davy and Goliath.
Beyondfate132 Yea, no gay people aren’t ok with what Hallmark pulled this week.
The only gay is the "love interest" . A lot of the guys who play Mr. Right are gay in real life. 😂😆 I've always loved the irony.
Nailed it! 2 minutes in and you know every plot twist and exactly how it ends-- she leaves The Big City and the big job to marry the guy that owns the ( hardware store, tree farm or small diner)and live in the exquisitely decorated giant house he owns that he could never afford in real life!
Or gigantic ski lodge, where hot developer has $$$ to save lodge from evil RE people (who generally ARE evil, so...)
I also love that at her job as a lawyer they don't give her time for the holidays even though every fucking law office closes during the week of christmas. How do I know this? I'm irish there are 5 lawyers on just my dad's side
".... so you know, vague Europe?"
So UK
Well, it has some history. War criminals are tried at the Vague.
@@Chunkboi Saw what you did there :)
@@Chunkboi Excellent 😊
Another quote from the skit.
The only thing that could have made this better is if all three boyfriends were played by the same guy
Yes.... But the effects budget probably wasn't high enough to have him stand next to himself.
Thats literally what Netflix has done with Vanessa Hudgens Christmas movie, she plays 3 different main characters
@@Miranda-vj8yy yeah but that's the point, so they can be mistaken for each other -- as opposed to the comments reference which is that Hallmark uses the same actors over and over again in their movies. Though VH does also star in The Knight Before Christmas, so Netflix is getting there.
They'd have to pretape it.
“Hallmark’s Winter Boyfriend for Holiday Christmas” 😂😂😂
That's so on brand.
He melts when spring comes.
@@margaritam.9118 I'm crying! 😂 😂 😂
Tired of seeing Aidy Bryant .Too much of her literally and figuratively.
@@bubujooestes1499 What the hell is that's supposed to mean?
I rarely laugh out loud to sketches, but 'Prince of Caucasia" had me dead.
hee..that was the best!! And “let’s call it vague Europe”
"Stay Straight out there.. (hallmark, yep)
Hallmark just pulled all the ads featuring lgbt couples. They're not doing an openly gay Christmas Prince movie anytime soon.
@@jeffblack8457 I didn't think they would ever do a movie like that anyway...
@@jefflong1799 It might have been fun! Same exact story, but the journalist is Ronan Farrow (not Amber) and Prince Dick falls for him on sight... and because it's a fictional country (so its laws are flexible) producing a legitimate heir isn't important to anyone.
@@jeffblack8457 YEP, lol. :)
@Cathy Bradley lol. :)
Remember kids:
“The true meaning of Christmas is husband”
Really coming for A Christmas Prince with this one.
And The Princess Switch...
And A Christmas Prince 2. And A Christmas Prince 3.
And eventually A Christmas Prince 4, and 5, and 6
Prince Simon looks so much like Simon from the Christmas prince movies
Perhaps not Andrew this year?
Hallmark love interests
1.cute lumberjack-ish guy from home town who either has a small child or a dog that runs into generic girl
2. Prince from a made-up country & that's his entire character
3. Secret Santa/Santa's son who will become Santa when he is older & that's also his entire character.
carpathia 011 even the prince?!
Wow, someone should make a sketch based on what you said. Oh, wait...
@@CigarDoug only thing missing was the generic cute child
This would have been so funny if scarlett’s fiancé was one of the contestants
real life is better than any sketch.
The most obvious choice for Prince of Caucasia
Lol 😝
His name is colin jost. Give the man some props.
And then Che wrote all of the responses to her questions.
" i have no time for a man"
" well see about that"
just summed up every hallmark movie
Caucasia is just the midwest
Well, there's also the Caucasus mountains in Russia and central Asia, but accuracy would kill the joke.
LMFAO!!!
Aydon Clikeman hey, come on, we've got a lot of Hmong living here.
@@canaisyoung3601 Caucasus isn't Caucasia just like Atlanta isnt in the European country of Georgia.
Aydon Clikeman Ammm....No we are NOT!
“My ex answered emails on Christmas which made him the villain” HAHAHAHAHA
This is the most accurate interpretation of hallmark I’ve ever heard/seen
There's another sketch they did on the season 43 episode hosted by James Franco that was a fake commercial that outlined all the Hallmark Christmas movies they're showing. Sadly, it's one of those "cut for time" sketches. Look it up. It's funny.
Canais Young I’ve seen that one too! I noticed the jokes about the gazebo and the amount of movies they make along the background music were used in both sketches haha
@@canaisyoung3601 I just went back to view it. It was HILARIOUS! This one didn't make me laugh at all, but the James Franco one is so on the money!
Please look up "That's a Christmas to me" from MBMBaM. It's a skit from a podcast.
You can tell Scarlett really enjoys hosting SNL and has fun with it
MRS JOST is beloved by ALL.
@@Juliet475 - She didn't really change her name did she? I thought better of her.
@@MossyMozart nope, she didn't.
The wig Scarlett's wearing here is beautiful I want it
2016imhere ME TOO I THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD NOTICE IT’S STUNNING
I love it, too... But have you ever really worn a wig? I have. It's uncomfortably hot under there even if you don't have hair of your own because of chemo, or natural balding or choosing to shave your head.
@@jeffblack8457 Also, the wig cap=migraine.
@@Wednesdaywoe1975 Seriously! I had a gorgeous wig made before starting chemo for breast cancer (I'm using my husband's youtube btw). I wore that wig exactly 3x (at weddings) and the rest of the time it was scarves and softly lined hats bc that wig-cap was torture & I was sweating under that wig!
Just grateful I was only bald in the fall/winter (Sept - March)... summer baldness means hats & scarves are maybe too hot, too!
@Jeff Black. I hope that you are doing well!
Loved the accidental *ding, ding, ding* on "Santa's trident" and Moffat's "Wait, I wasn't supposed to be right there" eyebrow raise.
As someone who's seen too many Hallmark Christmas movies, this was pretty good!
If this is your name then yes. I believe you
Me too! 😂 the 1 dry kiss at end is so accurate
@@SchemeThatToddSetUp Lol - 100%!!! 😂
'I clap when he, uh, kiss?' killed me.
All Hallmark movies have the same plot and one black person. SNL got it right.👍
Can you be any more racist?
@@erickcota5367 Umm... me racist! I'm just saying that SNL got it right. Hallmark movies usually feature one black person and they never are the main character. Forget that their movies never even feature Latinos(which I am.) Diversity is not one of Hallmarks strong suits.
To me the problem isn't that there is or isn't a black person in one of those movies, but if you are going to do that right. Just don't drop in a black person with no backstory for reasons of quota. That almost makes it worse.....Then again does anyone have a real backstory other then Christmas in these movie? Literally random characters from failed Peter Lorre pilots have more backstory.
Sylvia S racist much?
@@erickcota5367 Racist against who? Enlighten me if you can do that.
This sounds like it was written by a bad AI script generator and I love it.
Na I would say note on a dart board, hallmark movies have been around before ai
I’m not ready for this era of humanity AT ALL 😭
I'm Buffalo, born and raised. Trust me, she's waaaaay higher than a 10 around here!
My ex is from Tonawanda. Scarlett is a 37 in comparison to the options out there lol.
@@manuginobilisbaldspot424 She's a cheektowaga 7 million
@@manuginobilisbaldspot424 Yes, but she's fucking Scarlett Johansen.... FFS!!
Emily Cringle is an Anchor bar 10, at 4 am.
@@Edward_John Hell, here in Buffalo Aidy Bryant is AT LEAST a 22 in broad daylight and sober! (Not insulting Aidy at all, she's a very beautiful woman!)
“Christmas just hasn’t been the same since your mother exploded.” I died 😂💀
I am so glad they addressed the “Chanukah” movies.
Edited to add: Scarlett is Jewish irl, though she's had 2 Christian husbands and now is engaged to Colin Jost.
I don't watch that Hallmark dreck, but I just read an article about the "Chanukah" movies; apparently they all feature Jewish characters who are desperate to marry out. I''ll be skipping those now (and in the future).
"Leave me alone, I don't have a backstory!"
Too real
It would have been really really great if they had Kate McKinnon as Lori loughin hosting the show
There were actually a number of missed opportunities that would have made this skit even funnier, more relevant, and more of a jab. Thinking none of the writers actually watch Hallmark, they just asked around the week of the show and found some patterns.
@@aliciabuck3822 I agree. This sketch actually wasn't very funny to me. They just kind of stated all the vague, obvious tropes everyone already knows about Hallmark. They did much better with the James Franco Hallmark skit here ua-cam.com/video/MSzytvDsPfo/v-deo.html
RandomX ha!
The controversy over a commercial with a same sex kiss, just as Hallmark explored the possibility of (gulp!) Xmas movies with same sex couples in them.
@@kokolatte825 I thought maybe this sketch was just made really quick because the Zola commercial thing happened on Friday didn't it?
Oh my God...nailed it. The Hallmark producers actually wouldn't think this was a joke, they'd be calling their writers yelling at them to wake their asses up and start taking notes.
Hallmark better watch their back, Netflix is coming for them
You're not wrong. Plus, their movies are diverse and I think many people want that. Also, OWN has a slate of these Christmas movies, with Black actors, scheduled. Even in 2019, people do what Oprah wants!
1personiam And that makes me sad, because Netflix used to have a lot of Christmas classics to look forward to; now it’s pretty much White Christmas and this pablum.
Amazingly I have a couple of those in my watchlist
“Christmas Fork”
“Santas trident”
“A dreidel”
O.M.G.!!!!
That was literally EVERY Hallmark (and Netflix!) Christmas movie!!!
The Prince of Caucasia. iDied laughing!
"The meaning of Christmas is husband." Yep!
It's funny to watch Scarlett's mouth as she moves her lips while other people are speaking. Especially when her "father" comes in. Watch her mouth and laugh with me! 🤣😂🤣 @3:47
"The true reason for Christmas is husband". I'm too through. That is every Hallmark holiday movie in a nutshell.
“I’m Emily Kringle reminding you to stay straight out there”
Me to me around my very homophobic relatives at Christmas
Aidy Bryant is wearing Mootsies Tootsies For The First Time
@UncleMikeNJ Since When Aidy Bryant Wore Mootsies Tootsies
Ok but why didn’t Colin Jost come out 😂.
Cuz then he couldn't date her any more, silly!
--Dave, taps foot expectantly, gazes in Colin's direction
David DeLaney Well played, sir
Hallmark doesn't do gay movies
“Santa’s Trident”, greatest idea for a B-movie ever
"Stay straight out there"
THE ending to every Hallmark movie...
This was painfully real! My parents Looove the Hallmark channel and I can’t even be in the same room because it’s so ridiculous.
They really nailed it lol.
I was saying the lines before they said them. This one was a ski lodge w evil developer (which RE people pretty much are, lol)
Too bad your parents have gone senile, though.
“Christmas just hasn’t been the same since your mother exploded.”
Should not have made me laugh so much
I Love it!! Spot on and predictable hallmark characters!! Oh don’t forget single mom who works in bakery and always has a brand new mansion and expensive car!!
So, Prince Simon is from Utah.
Except for the accents, it's more badly affected Spanish-Brazilian Portuguese-antidepressant-mideastern Kentucky-did you know I am more holy because I went out of country on my mission but I beat my wife who I married 2 days after I got home.
There are plenty of latinos and some black folks in Utah. The Utah accent is nothing like British. But there are beautiful snowy mountains here, yes.
LMAO! :)
@Dobbys Boggart "Oh my heck" in a British accent would be awesome indeed.
Except that darn few people in Utah speak English with a British accent . . .
3:18 I love Alex's expression when the answer of "Santa's Trident" was ok'd after someone accidentally pushed the "correct" button #youhadonejob
“Christmas is cancelled and the killer goes free” 😆
They should do a 'Matt Schatt' sketch with Scarlett Johansson.
Love that they added the jab at the end last minute lmao
I was hoping for it and they did not disappoint.
I laughed way too hard at the jab!
What jab
@@jeffwei Hallmark caved into pressure from homophobic groups and removed an advertisement on their network featuring a lesbian couple's wedding. At the end Aidy says "Stay straight out there," a last second jab to the company for their fucked up decision.
Since the episode aired, they reversed their decision and apologized, so good for them.
They forgot the middle aged female friend who ends up being her long lost (grand)mother.
I wouldn’t watch a Hallmark movie, but I’d watch this
"I live in stock footage of New York City that still has the Twin Towers in it"
xD
The true meaning of Christmas is husband 👻
"Stay straight out there" is good theme for the Hallmark Channel.
3:19 wrong sound lmaooo
When Alex said “prince of caucasia” I lost it
"Stay straight out there" haha good dig at Hallmark for their BS this week
This week? Hallmark holds the same line all the time.
What was this in reference too?
@@ayjaybay93 they pulled back a commercial showing lesbians
Amel Jasic So sad that in this day and age when gay marriage is LEGAL Hallmark is anti LGBT!
@@matzohgirl well to be honest it doesn't seem that halmark is anti lgbt, but some of their viewers are.
A New York's 6? I bet the writer didn't know who will be playing this character.
"Caucasia" & "stock footage of New York with the Twin Towers" reminds me of the hilariously absurd locations in Stefan videos (e.g., "located in the clogged heart of the Bronx," "located on the Upper East side of a dumpster"). Wish SNL does more wild jokes like that 😂
"I agree" - Doorman that always high five children of divorce
“I live in stock footage of New York City that still has the Twin Towers in it...” 🤣
Be shocked into the Christmas spirit by the power of Aidy Bryant's red-on-red fortyish divorcé double sweaters, illuminated by the hypnotically heterosexual Thomas Kincaid background. I can practically smell the three to four cats she lets eat off her plate.
Leave me alone. I dont have a backstory! Hahahaha too funny. And always true of Hallmark.
“Christmas, just hasn’t been the same since your mother exploded.” HAS ME DEAD SO ACCURATE
They forgot the ex of one of the 3 bachelors who shows up & tries to throw herself in the way. She’s rich & high maintenance & wants him to come back to run her father’s vineyard in Napa
This is so accurate - my mom loves these movies so I've watched a couple with her and these really are the common tropes
I swear the Christmas tree farm one was actually real
Actually it was the female character that left the "big city" to run the farm after her dad/grandparents died. And I can't believe I remembered that. It also had the big city mean guy/small town hunk cliche.
“That’s right, the true reason for Christmas is husband”
“That’s right the true meaning for Christmas is husband”😂😂😂😂
“She’s a New York 6 and a Buffalo 10.” 😂
Line would work better without, well, Scarlett.
As a man from actual small town USA. I can tell you this. We don't have idyllic neighborhoods with nice houses. We don't cozy little book stores and bakeries. We don't have a weird obsession with Christmas.
But what we can offer you, is farmin', yee-haw, and meth... and all that comes with a whole lot of beer.
Almost forgot, we also have churches, so we can pretend to have a higher moral standard while simultaneously treating everyone who doesn't think, act, or look like us like dirt.
So I guess we're really not so different from them liberal city-slickers.
Christmas is cancelled and the killer goes free!?! I laughed so damn hard at that
Kee To 😂😂😂 that and “ever since your mother exploded..” who writes this ish?!
That’s the Hallmark Christmas Mystery movie for you...killing off the mom.
I love these weird nonsensical skits! "The meaning of Christmas is husband." Lmao I love Aidy and you know Kate added that hilarious last line!
Haha, the "mid-west, middle-aged secretary" voice Aidy always seems to affect in her sketches cracks me up.
Already lost it at " Prince Simon of Caucasia" Brilliant.
Christmas sketches are one of SNL’s best genres I’ve decided
Hello Rachel 👁👁
The level of pure Hallmark in this is incredible. It’s the epitome of Hallmark folks
i dont think ive ever laughed as loud to a snl skit than i have to “santas trident”
Scarlet needs to do more comedy, she’s hilarious 😂😂😂
Too pretty to be funny
Next year I guarantee Hallmark will have a Christmas movie revolving around a game/dating show
And Santa's Trudent
They just did this year with Love, Take Two. It's actually stars a Black couple and the woman produces a reality show where the contestants are trying to win a fantasy wedding.
"The meaning of Christmas is husband" 👏😭 very Hallmark👌
"I'm a hot ghost. And yes, my thing is invisible!" 😂😂😂
“Christmas hasn’t been the same since your mother exploded”
It'd have been great if one of the bachelors was Colin Jost.
This is all of the Disney Santa Claus movies cut into pieces.
This couldn’t be any more accurate it’s almost netflix-level