We got married last year were both nearly 50 years old and its both our first marriage both our parents have been togeather 50 years we are old fashioned we respect each other say pls and thank-you do little things for each other we have been togeather 5 years and never had a argue we don't do it life is to short we both had cancer so we know its being togeather and loveing each other no don't go to bed without saying love you and talk to each other that's the key talking
Wise advice, Caroline. I think any young folk about to get married should watch this. The sock thing made me laugh. When I lived with my partner (long ago) I used to iron his work shirts because he made out that he couldn't. I suddenly decided I was fed-up of doing them so I stopped. Turned out he was perfectly capable of ironing them! 😂
I am totally on the same page as you Caroline and could not of put it any better ! I have been married for 41yrs . We have a grow up son and daughter , run a business together and have recently become grandparents for the first time to a baby girl . We have lived a lifetime together !, Sometimes I love him , sometimes he is hard work and drives me round the bend , we dont always agree and bicker ( our friends never argued and are now divorced ) always there is compromise ! Lately we have taken turns to look after each other after operations ,after the bicker we iron things out and get to compromise ! We also always went to bed on an argument too but in the morning we resolved it when less tired and had thinking time . Excellent content !
All absolutely right Caroline. Oh the socks! I went one step further and started just shoving them into a carrier bag as they were. That was 30 years ago, and I've not paired them since ha ha
A lot of sage advice that I most certainly do agree with, I’ve been in my second marriage now for 45 years .... I consider it mostly lucky that I picked the right person this time. We always try to make each other more happy and comfortable...we’re never rude even if we get angry. All of our boys are good husbands like their dad, their wives tell me they are so grateful that they had him as an example to live up to. He puts me first always and I do the same( put him first I mean not me lol). When I watch you and Ashley I can see he delights you with his humour and you are like a girl adoring him which I’m sure delights him💕. Our grandchildren are now coming of the age and I’ve always told them to make sure they pick someone who treats them like their grandpa treats their nana....hope they do🥰. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. Even at my age it doesn’t hurt to be reminded...love from here dear girl🥰🇨🇦🤗
Wise words Caroline.My husband is German,so very organised with his socks..lol. I agree with everything you said and respect for oneanother is also very important,methinks.Different interests are healthy ,he is sporty,ski´s, plays tennis...not my cuppa tea.There are other things that we do and enjoy together,so that´s fine.We never do clothes shopping together,he has his style and I like it,he likes mine.It would irritate me to have a man in tow...even other peoples husbands irritate me ,hanging around the changing rooms with bags and looking fed up ;) Hope you can shake that cold off very soon.....Sheila x
Completely agree about clothes shopping - can't imagine anything worse than dragging Ashley round the shops with me, he never notices what I'm wearing unless I point it out anyway! :)
I think the only thing I would add, is that I actually like my husband. Yes, I love him, but more importantly, I like him. I find him interesting and I enjoy just talking with him. He’s my best friend, corny as that sounds. We’ve been married for 19 years and we share nothing of our married life on social media. Even this comment is more public than I’m used to sharing!!
Congrats on 19 years, Vicky - and you're right - it's so important to be friends as well as partners in life. A joint sense of humour is one of the things that really binds Ashley and me together , we find the same random things funny, it's always so good to laugh together. :)
I also pair up my husband’s socks inside out (after years of frustration). Also, just watched and enjoyed your “wedding” video. So glad I found your channel today.
Great video Caroline and very wise words. I agree with the separate finances, me and my partner have that too. Just a point on the bills being some in your name and some in Ashely's - make sure you are both named as additional people on them all as if one of you does (hopefully not!) become incapacitated in any way the companies will not let the other take over easily unless they are named. Love the sock advice - going to do that one and also agree on having your own interests. I was married to a controlling bully for 19 years and was not allowed any friends, so now I make the most of them x
Really good point that, Sally, about the bills, thank you. It's one I've considered before but never done anything about, I really must get round to it. x
My husband will not talk about money, even when our financial adviser visits. It’s a problem as I like to plan We have no financial worries, but I get frustrated as I like to plan and get the best out of life But I love him and I sort his socks out when they are inside out Three months ago six single socks went missing I could not find them anywhere, then all of a sudden they appeared again. He swears he did not know what had happened Life is strange. We watch you and your husband chat and banter together and the chemistry between you both is magic You love each other. Rebecca. X
Thank you for your video, Caroline...it was interesting and helpful! Coming up thirty years married myself, and very few of those years have been happy!😅 However, I have come to the conclusion that is my destiny, and I have been spared other difficulties, because I have elected to stay. I would say,if you can't have a happy marriage,then try to appreciate and enjoy a happy life of your own. It has actually been enormously"freeing" to know and live like this,as the weight of expectation, comparison,etc,is lifted. I think much more in terms of what I need to do, to be healthy, happy and in balance, and way less about creating an "ideal marriage." If I want to do something with my spouse,I do, but not very often. I don't take holidays with him,or our adult children,any more. I have a lovely"stay cation" at home. We don't do"date nights" and there is no physical touch or "intimacy." It is perhaps a very unusual way to live, but in a strange way, it is something I have pretty much got used to, and have made it work for me. I enjoy my alone time , and having my bedroom the way I like it, and gentle music playing (No TV on!😅) I was surprised that you didn't mention physical intimacy in your list, Caroline, and I feel that this is another area that is very fraught (like the money issue!)Being told what we must do to "please our man" puts extra strain and pressure on marriages that are already very difficult and unhappy. I have come to the conclusion that each situation is unique and very different. Like any "team" situation, it's about working with who you are and what you have, for the best results,I think. Similar to how your grandmother phrased it, but possibly slightly more optimistic and enjoyable! Thanks again for sharing your experiences and insights. 😊🙏🌷
Completely agree with them all Caroline. Married 16 years and had good times as well as some absolutely rubbish times. It's easy to drift apart. Marriage is not easy but for me it is worth it
Hi Caroline,I'm a fairly new subscriber and trying to get through all your videos. I know I'm a year late on this one but wanted to tell you that you are so right on these tips...marriage just takes love andwork from both sides...we've been doing it for 53 yrs now...love love your channel .cheers from KY💖
I found this very interesting as a divorcee. I agree on being patience but both need to be committed to the relationship to make it work. If one of them is not interested to make it work, you have no choice but to leave.
Wise words 🙂. Love these vlogs. I married far too young and in my day we didn't live together first!! That would have saved me 13 years of misery 🙈 You and Ashley seem very suited and you laugh which is very important 😊 x
Giving them their socks back inside out shows them they should be grateful for the clean socks. Who would dare complain when they realized why they get them back that way!🙃🥰
We have separate finances too. This is a tip with socks and pairing them. I put a jar of safety pins by the washing basket. My family pin their socks together and then put them in the wash. It means you never have to pair socks.
@@CarolineMrsM You have to nag a lot at first but after a few weeks it becomes habit. I put a jar full of safety pins right next to the laundry basket. They pin first then the socks go in. It stops you losing socks and it is so easy when they are dry. At first if they didn't pin the socks I would just leave the socks in a pile on the kitchen table and tell them to sort their own. It soon makes them pin. It's an old boarding school trick and it makes a great difference.
So funny about the socks. Same here. As well as shirts and underwear. 31 years later and if it goes in the wash inside out, it gets folded and put away inside out!
Great video Caroline - agree utterly with everything you say esp re financial and social independence . I've known far too many people divorce after having lived a life in each others pockets which is pretty unhealthy imho.
This was really interesting! It has taken me a couple of long term relationships to realise that they aren't the fairytales that tv often leads you to believe. A sad and sometimes harsh reality but this sort of advice is brilliant for accepting the inevitable and changing your perspective. Really enjoyed this Caroline!
That's a really good point, Becky, I can imagine it takes a while to adjust to all that 'quality time' together when retirement comes! Congrats on 44 years :)
Great video! Same here with the socks, clearly a common trait amongst men! Have to admit our finances are the complete opposite, everything is joint, has worked for us and so far not spoilt any surprises lol my other tip would be not to hold a grudge. Easier said than done, sometimes xxx
hiya , great video, couples who only have a joint bank account i wonder how they can think they have bought a present for each other. I think if a woman can work they should do, even if its for a few hours a week to have their own finances, just the same as if the husband works full time he should still help out in the house. intimacy is always important, there's not many celibate men who are happy. Lovey dovey couples or those that portray a perfect family on social media are the ones who do not stay together. I have problems arguing, i just can't be bothered, i don't want to be a nagging wife, which is not healthy either! we have a joint bank account we randomly put money in and the bills come out, we do what we want with our own money - which my mum thinks is very strange, they have only ever had a joint account. I didn't tell gary i was buying a new car, i went out in my £400 ford focus and came back having ordered a new range rover! (my reasoning behind it was so that i would have a big bill and so i couldnt do anything i would regret and just hand in my notice at work after a shit day) - i work bloody hard, i can afford it, so why not!
Was watching you try to eat 4000 calories earlier, you do make me laugh, you did a great job though, looking forward to seeing how you get on, I'd never heard of this diet before you mentioned it. Hope you're enjoying the new Range Rover, it's bloody lovely to have mine back again at last! x
Know this is an old video but ive been unwell and binge watched your videos today. Couldnt agree more with the separate bank accounts my husband and I have also been together 24 years this year and always managed our finances same way as you an Ashley..yes we still have odd disahreement about money but much less than we would if we shared bank account and cards ..also agree that its normal to hate them too sometimes🤣😊
We got married last year were both nearly 50 years old and its both our first marriage both our parents have been togeather 50 years we are old fashioned we respect each other say pls and thank-you do little things for each other we have been togeather 5 years and never had a argue we don't do it life is to short we both had cancer so we know its being togeather and loveing each other no don't go to bed without saying love you and talk to each other that's the key talking
Wise advice, Caroline. I think any young folk about to get married should watch this. The sock thing made me laugh. When I lived with my partner (long ago) I used to iron his work shirts because he made out that he couldn't. I suddenly decided I was fed-up of doing them so I stopped. Turned out he was perfectly capable of ironing them! 😂
I am totally on the same page as you Caroline and could not of put it any better ! I have been married for 41yrs . We have a grow up son and daughter , run a business together and have recently become grandparents for the first time to a baby girl . We have lived a lifetime together !, Sometimes I love him , sometimes he is hard work and drives me round the bend , we dont always agree and bicker ( our friends never argued and are now divorced ) always there is compromise ! Lately we have taken turns to look after each other after operations ,after the bicker we iron things out and get to compromise ! We also always went to bed on an argument too but in the morning we resolved it when less tired and had thinking time . Excellent content !
Thank you!
All absolutely right Caroline. Oh the socks! I went one step further and started just shoving them into a carrier bag as they were. That was 30 years ago, and I've not paired them since ha ha
Haha, excellent! I'm loving all the sock comments :)
A lot of sage advice that I most certainly do agree with, I’ve been in my second marriage now for 45 years .... I consider it mostly lucky that I picked the right person this time. We always try to make each other more happy and comfortable...we’re never rude even if we get angry. All of our boys are good husbands like their dad, their wives tell me they are so grateful that they had him as an example to live up to. He puts me first always and I do the same( put him first I mean not me lol). When I watch you and Ashley I can see he delights you with his humour and you are like a girl adoring him which I’m sure delights him💕. Our grandchildren are now coming of the age and I’ve always told them to make sure they pick someone who treats them like their grandpa treats their nana....hope they do🥰. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. Even at my age it doesn’t hurt to be reminded...love from here dear girl🥰🇨🇦🤗
Yes marriage is give and take and having respect for each other we have been together 29yrs xx
Wise words Caroline.My husband is German,so very organised with his socks..lol. I agree with everything you said and respect for oneanother is also very important,methinks.Different interests are healthy ,he is sporty,ski´s, plays tennis...not my cuppa tea.There are other things that we do and enjoy together,so that´s fine.We never do clothes shopping together,he has his style and I like it,he likes mine.It would irritate me to have a man in tow...even other peoples husbands irritate me ,hanging around the changing rooms with bags and looking fed up ;) Hope you can shake that cold off very soon.....Sheila x
Completely agree about clothes shopping - can't imagine anything worse than dragging Ashley round the shops with me, he never notices what I'm wearing unless I point it out anyway! :)
I think the only thing I would add, is that I actually like my husband. Yes, I love him, but more importantly, I like him. I find him interesting and I enjoy just talking with him. He’s my best friend, corny as that sounds. We’ve been married for 19 years and we share nothing of our married life on social media. Even this comment is more public than I’m used to sharing!!
Congrats on 19 years, Vicky - and you're right - it's so important to be friends as well as partners in life. A joint sense of humour is one of the things that really binds Ashley and me together , we find the same random things funny, it's always so good to laugh together. :)
@@CarolineMrsM That is really sweet Caroline. My husband and I are always laughing, but we are both quite corny 😏
Caroline. Just watched this and I absolutely agree with all the key points you make. It is how I look at life and relationship
Oh Caroline Thank you for these reminders.....
I also pair up my husband’s socks inside out (after years of frustration). Also, just watched and enjoyed your “wedding” video. So glad I found your channel today.
Great video Caroline and very wise words. I agree with the separate finances, me and my partner have that too. Just a point on the bills being some in your name and some in Ashely's - make sure you are both named as additional people on them all as if one of you does (hopefully not!) become incapacitated in any way the companies will not let the other take over easily unless they are named. Love the sock advice - going to do that one and also agree on having your own interests. I was married to a controlling bully for 19 years and was not allowed any friends, so now I make the most of them x
Really good point that, Sally, about the bills, thank you. It's one I've considered before but never done anything about, I really must get round to it. x
Caroline, absolutely epic vlog!!!!
And all of what you said makes perfect sense to me!!!!!
I loved it, thank you!!!
My husband will not talk about money, even when our financial adviser visits.
It’s a problem as I like to plan
We have no financial worries, but I get frustrated as I like to plan and get the best out of life
But I love him and I sort his socks out when they are inside out
Three months ago six single socks went missing I could not find them anywhere, then all of a sudden they appeared again. He swears he did not know what had happened
Life is strange. We watch you and your husband chat and banter together and the chemistry between you both is magic
You love each other. Rebecca. X
Thank you for your video, Caroline...it was interesting and helpful!
Coming up thirty years married myself, and very few of those years have been happy!😅
However, I have come to the conclusion that is my destiny, and I have been spared other difficulties, because I have elected to stay.
I would say,if you can't have a happy marriage,then try to appreciate and enjoy a happy life of your own.
It has actually been enormously"freeing" to know and live like this,as the weight of expectation, comparison,etc,is lifted. I think much more in terms of what I need to do, to be healthy, happy and in balance, and way less about creating an "ideal marriage."
If I want to do something with my spouse,I do, but not very often.
I don't take holidays with him,or our adult children,any more.
I have a lovely"stay cation" at home.
We don't do"date nights" and there is no physical touch or "intimacy."
It is perhaps a very unusual way to live, but in a strange way, it is something I have pretty much got used to, and have made it work for me. I enjoy my alone time , and having my bedroom the way I like it, and gentle music playing (No TV on!😅)
I was surprised that you didn't mention physical intimacy in your list, Caroline, and I feel that this is another area that is very fraught (like the money issue!)Being told what we must do to "please our man" puts extra strain and pressure on marriages that are already very difficult and unhappy.
I have come to the conclusion that each situation is unique and very different.
Like any "team" situation, it's about working with who you are and what you have, for the best results,I think.
Similar to how your grandmother phrased it, but possibly slightly more optimistic and enjoyable!
Thanks again for sharing your experiences and insights.
😊🙏🌷
Completely agree with them all Caroline. Married 16 years and had good times as well as some absolutely rubbish times. It's easy to drift apart. Marriage is not easy but for me it is worth it
Excellent tips and very funny. Im a singleton after living with a tosser for 5 yrs ...... never again! haha
Good for you, life's too short for tossers!!
Hi Caroline,I'm a fairly new subscriber and trying to get through all your videos. I know I'm a year late on this one but wanted to tell you that you are so right on these tips...marriage just takes love andwork from both sides...we've been doing it for 53 yrs now...love love your channel .cheers from KY💖
New subscriber, love your channel,have a wonderful day and a better tomorrow!
Thank you, Luanna, lovely to 'meet' you and thank you for taking the time to comment :)
I found this very interesting as a divorcee. I agree on being patience but both need to be committed to the relationship to make it work. If one of them is not interested to make it work, you have no choice but to leave.
Hi - I agree 100% on both parties needed to be committed - it takes two to tango, as they say!
Great video Caroline and really interesting-and great tips too, ahh the socks, still drives me mad lol! xxx
Wise words 🙂. Love these vlogs. I married far too young and in my day we didn't live together first!! That would have saved me 13 years of misery 🙈 You and Ashley seem very suited and you laugh which is very important 😊 x
Thank you Caroline, wonderful tips and a real breath of fresh air to hear, and realistic. Hope you are feeling better 😘
Much better today, thank you :)
Hi Caroline, I'm new to your channel and and absolutely love it xxx
Great tips, I agree with them all
Giving them their socks back inside out shows them they should be grateful for the clean socks. Who would dare complain when they realized why they get them back that way!🙃🥰
Exactly!
We have separate finances too. This is a tip with socks and pairing them. I put a jar of safety pins by the washing basket. My family pin their socks together and then put them in the wash. It means you never have to pair socks.
Sounds a good idea, but I'd never get my lot to remember to pin them, how do you manage that?
@@CarolineMrsM You have to nag a lot at first but after a few weeks it becomes habit. I put a jar full of safety pins right next to the laundry basket. They pin first then the socks go in. It stops you losing socks and it is so easy when they are dry. At first if they didn't pin the socks I would just leave the socks in a pile on the kitchen table and tell them to sort their own. It soon makes them pin. It's an old boarding school trick and it makes a great difference.
So funny about the socks. Same here. As well as shirts and underwear. 31 years later and if it goes in the wash inside out, it gets folded and put away inside out!
You're a woman after my own heart. I do turn t shirts the right way round - but it makes me grumpy!
Thankyou. Good advice
Great video - hope you feel better soon.
Great video Caroline - agree utterly with everything you say esp re financial and social independence . I've known far too many people divorce after having lived a life in each others pockets which is pretty unhealthy imho.
This was really interesting! It has taken me a couple of long term relationships to realise that they aren't the fairytales that tv often leads you to believe. A sad and sometimes harsh reality but this sort of advice is brilliant for accepting the inevitable and changing your perspective. Really enjoyed this Caroline!
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. Always enjoy your videos too, your SW cooking ones always inspire me, you make some delicious looking recipes :)
Found that really interesting Caroline x
Thank you, that was wonderful!
Very good video, just like to add get ready for retirement it’s hard work for first year😂44years and counting I truly have enjoyed it so far.
That's a really good point, Becky, I can imagine it takes a while to adjust to all that 'quality time' together when retirement comes! Congrats on 44 years :)
The Socks! 28 years of inside out socks has driven me crazy - and add in two sons too, that's a lot of socks.:)
I struggle enough differentiating between Ashley and Will's socks - how on earth do you manage?!!
Great video! Same here with the socks, clearly a common trait amongst men! Have to admit our finances are the complete opposite, everything is joint, has worked for us and so far not spoilt any surprises lol my other tip would be not to hold a grudge. Easier said than done, sometimes xxx
You're right about grudges, Jill - bringing resolved stuff up time after time is never a good idea.
hiya , great video, couples who only have a joint bank account i wonder how they can think they have bought a present for each other. I think if a woman can work they should do, even if its for a few hours a week to have their own finances, just the same as if the husband works full time he should still help out in the house. intimacy is always important, there's not many celibate men who are happy. Lovey dovey couples or those that portray a perfect family on social media are the ones who do not stay together. I have problems arguing, i just can't be bothered, i don't want to be a nagging wife, which is not healthy either! we have a joint bank account we randomly put money in and the bills come out, we do what we want with our own money - which my mum thinks is very strange, they have only ever had a joint account. I didn't tell gary i was buying a new car, i went out in my £400 ford focus and came back having ordered a new range rover! (my reasoning behind it was so that i would have a big bill and so i couldnt do anything i would regret and just hand in my notice at work after a shit day) - i work bloody hard, i can afford it, so why not!
Was watching you try to eat 4000 calories earlier, you do make me laugh, you did a great job though, looking forward to seeing how you get on, I'd never heard of this diet before you mentioned it. Hope you're enjoying the new Range Rover, it's bloody lovely to have mine back again at last! x
Know this is an old video but ive been unwell and binge watched your videos today. Couldnt agree more with the separate bank accounts my husband and I have also been together 24 years this year and always managed our finances same way as you an Ashley..yes we still have odd disahreement about money but much less than we would if we shared bank account and cards ..also agree that its normal to hate them too sometimes🤣😊
The finances thing really works well for us :)
Socks: my husband would then wear them even the other way round! So embarassing...😅
Very video lady advice for the gents 😂
Advice for gents: Happy Wife, Happy Life ;)
Deffo look shiny 😂😂💯⚡