I Never Wanted Kids? Paying for College, How We Do Birthdays, Room Sharing + More!
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- Опубліковано 23 січ 2020
- Hey friends, I get a lot of questions about what it's like to raise 8 kids. What is good, what is hard? How will we pay for college? Do our kids share a room? I'm even getting real with y'all about whether I ever even wanted kids at all! Grab some coffee and let's chat! :)
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Yeah, for birthdays my family does 4 presents:
something we want
something we need
something to read
and also somewhere to go (a restaurant, bowling, Chuck E Cheese, etc.)
But on milestone birthdays like 10 years, we get a basket of 10 small-ish presents.
That sounds really fun and cute!
I like that idea 👍❤
“I’m their Mum, I’m not their maid.”
Love this!
Someone wise once told me “don’t do things for your kids that they can do for themselves as it’s only a disservice to them in the long run”
"None of the kids are responsible or the caretakers for their younger siblings." THANK YOU! makes me emotional to hear that, I grew up the oldest of 4 kids (close together in age) and I had a lot of responsibility, I enjoyed it but ultimately I carried too much pressure at a young age. I watched my two younger siblings when my mom gave birth to baby number 4 when I was 5 and a half.
You are giving your older kids such a great gift by not putting that responsibility on their shoulder. It doesn't mean they don't contribute, they just aren't replacement parents.♥️edit: And I LOVED taking care of my siblings, cooking etc. It was totally part of my personality. BUT my therapist now is working with me on enormous amounts of pressure I put on myself still today because my parents didn't make it clear that I wasn't the caretaker, that I wasn't being made into a third parent.
Good for you working through it. I feel my parents, especially my mother, stole much of my childhood by putting me in charge of my siblings. We were four born in 4 1/2 years and by age 8, I was "babysitting" while she coffeeclatched all day at her friends' homes or at a local coffee shop. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning a house and cooking for my siblings, breaking up their fights, and trying to prevent the fights 9 miles out of town in the country where the nearest neighbor was a quarter mile away. Ya, I should probably take a page from your book and work through all that.
Your story sounds so similar to mine! I have a very maternal nature and I loved childcare, cooking, even cleaning as a child/teenager. But by the time I was 14 and raising my youngest my sibling (because my mom gave birth to her and then started college a few months later), I got into a really dark place, because I realized that I had lost my entire childhood to being a mother too soon. 💔 I'm still working with a therapist to get through that.
I never expected my parents to pay for my college or my wedding. They gave me life and they raised me and that was enough.
The most shocking part of this video: realizing our little Rosie Rue is EIGHT!
yes! i never went to college. i am pregnant with my fourth child right now and when people say "well what are you going to do for a career?" i say BE A MOM lol. i am a stay at home mom and i might want to work someday but right now i am loving being here for the kids and my husband when he gets home. i do part time daycare in my home for extra money but i want my kids to know that college is not for everyone.
It's not responsibility, its siblings being siblings to their siblings! Hey, can you play with baby while i finish the dishes.. you go mama! X
Meek Johnson There’s nothing wrong with some responsibility. People are so hesitant to give kids some real responsibility, and look where society is now.
"Snag one from the herd", Haha, you're such a sweet mama. God bless you.
"Hard doesn't have to be bad" what a great motto. I love your hair washing example.
I am the oldest of ten children and I absolutely loved and thrived on helping take care of my siblings ❤ Big families are amazing!
Your such a breath of fresh air so real and raw I really love it I admire you as a mom and a person.
I don't understand why people feel sorry for obviously happy kids, in big families. Isn't all parents goals, to raise healthy, functioning, independent adults? Not giant children who need Mummy into adulthood.
I have found that parenting is kind of like religion: People think their own is the best and only way, and want to pull others into their corner as well. It's kind of a learning curve I've found, adapting a live and let live kind of attitude!
a process of change , thank you for summing it up so well, I am one of five children and still even in adulthood I get people telling me they are sorry I come from a big family and the worst part is when they assume I must have hated my childhood, and get annoyed at me when I correct them saying No I had an amazing childhood, without any resentment to my parents or siblings. All five children are now well educated happy Adults that still have that same close bond, we grew up with.
Same reason why feel people sorry for only's? I have one and I'm sure a lot of people feel sorry for her.
I have 1 brother and had always wanted more siblings. My mom came from a bigger family and when family got together it was my favorite times growing up. I'd love to have more siblings!
My sister and I worked through college because our single mother couldn’t afford to help us. You do what you have to do. Parents don’t have to sacrifice their whole life to save for college. This is just my humble opinion but I’m not a parent yet.
I didn't realize how many parenting things we agree on. I knew there was a reason I was drawn to your channels! I don't know why teaching our kids responsibility, independence, selflessness, etc is ever controversial. It seems like that should be the goal of raising kids. Anyway, you're doing a great job!
Amen!! Where would we be without our trades people? Our janitors our gas pump attendants? My husband doesnt have an education but goes out freezing his butt off in Canadian winter to help people! Sooo nice to hear someone appreciate them 😭❤️
Brittany Young “gas pump attendants” made me laugh. We don’t have those in Texas anymore but I SO SO SO wish we did!
All those luxury items that people enjoy don't build themselves.
You always answer questions so well and openly when I'd want to roll my eyes into my skull 😂
110% agree with the college/trade school thing and household commitments. We all helped out growing up and I'm always shocked when adults don't have life skills because their parents did everything for them (and I'm a millennial!) And higher education was not my path in the traditional sense either, I still followed my passion and got an on the job degree but in Australia there are so many paths to employment so I'm not worried if he chooses not to go, especially at 17
I cannot wait to read about Rosie in your book! I feel like she admires you so much and she’s such an AMAZING little girl.
100% agree with you view on college! I never wanted to go to college. So left school to get a job in the real world. And that’s worked out so well for me. I’m now a self employed accountant!
We wanted 3-4 kids because we wanted a "small" family.😂 we both come from large families. We just recently jumped from 2 to 5 kids.(adopted 3). I think we are done, but I said that after child two too.🤷♀️ my desire for a larger family came out of nowhere and was a bit surprising.
I'm one of 8 children and I love being a part of a large family. We're all so close now as adults too.
I now have five gorgeous kiddies myself as always wanted the same for my kids.
Really enjoy watching your vlogs. 💕
I can listen to your long Q&As all day! The colours in this video makes me want for spring to be here sooner! You are glowing and the background looks so sunny!
re: raising children who can do for themselves and others
I'm single mom to an only child who was very efficient in making his own breakfast and doing his own laundry at age 6. I put milk in a cup in the fridge so no spills from a gallon. He could also get frozen waffles or pancakes into the toaster or make regular toast and use the microwave for a bowl of oatmeal. Never a mishap in all those years.
We both had to get ready for school in the morning and momma loved her sleep so I was not getting up way before he did just so I could hover over him in the morning. We both got our clothes together the night before for time savings, too.
Each weekend, he got to choose which day he wanted a special momma made breakfast (homemade pancakes or waffles, omelets, etc, whatever he wanted).
I have no regrets in how I raised him. At age 23 and looking to begin his own family unit, he tells me how proud he is that he was self-sufficient so young and that he plans to teach his child(ren) the same. Guess I did ok.
You did GREAT!!! I was the same. He's now almost 20 and self sufficient. People used to harp on me for not making him a full breakfast and always walking him to school. Both things he could do on his own by age 6 as well as his own laundry.
As a young momma with 3 under 3(no twins), this was so encouraging to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. ❤️
I'm their Mama, not their maid. You go girl!!
What you said about going to college made me feel a lot better about myself. I’m a 23 year old single girl (not a mom yet) and didn’t go to college. My extended family was the checklist kind of family....you get good grades, you go to college, you become a doctor or something else that makes you rich. Their judgments toward me have been hard over the years. Thank you for what you said. :)
I grew up with six biological siblings and I absolutely love my big family. You are so right about all the love.❤❤❤ we are all grown adults and I truly feel blessed having so much love and support from my siblings. They are the people in my life that love me unconditionally , have my best interest at heart and support me always. Big families are amazing. ❤❤❤
THANK YOU for teaching your kids real life skills and how to care for another person! This is so refreshing! You’re a good mama. 💜 This gives me hope for the next generation.
you are speaking my language on EVERY topic. oh my goodness! from giving them responsibilities and independence, to how you explained how the kids help you but not parent the others. wowzers, girl, you've got the large family thing handled and well thought out! BEAUTIFUL!
Yessss!! Everything you said about college. I’m a teacher and have said those things to kids just as a general statement. Students oook at me like I’m crazy but it is the truth. Not all kids need to be college bound.
When you got to the part about college funds vs children needing love and security I almost cried. So much yes. I’ve always felt the call to adopt. We currently have 4 biological children, and have discussed bringing a child into the family via adoption someday. Thank you for saying that because I think I needed to hear it.
Looking forward to the chores video. Needing inspiration with my 2 youngest whom I homeschool. I felt like I was on the ball with chores with my 3 oldest 10+ years ago. Now that our 3 oldest have left the nest, I have slacked off on our 2 youngest 🤦🏼♀️ We are in the process of becoming foster/adoptive parents so I need to get a good chore and school schedule in order.
I fell in love with you and the whole family about two months ago...and I can’t get enough! I just happy I can leave comments here!!! Keep doing what you’re doing! ✨💕
I totally agree with the college topic. My mom often apologizes that she didn’t save up money for college. I tell her it’s okay, I didn’t pay for you to go to college lol... I don’t intend to save for my kids college either. I noticed at my college that kid’s that earned scholarships or payed their way through appreciated their schooling more than the kids who were pressured to go and got a free ride.
I love how you articulate yourself. I see you as very down to earth...
Love your authenticity ❤👑
Yessssss, " I'm their mom not their maid" 👏👊
I was just scrolling through UA-cam looking for a video to watch, perfect timing! 😊
I am a family of two and it was because of you that I started getting grocery pick up, it has saved me so much money. And I can’t stand grocery shopping!
Your vlog is so eloquently put with so much gracefulness, Angie.
Thank you for sharing more about having a large family filled with love ❤️.
Have a wonderful weekend, Braniff’s! xo
❤️☀️🌸🦋
I appreciate how open, honest and real you are! Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Kids needs responsibility and they need to know how to take care of others 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I only have three kids and they are close in age and I still make them help each other a lot! Siblings are just the easiest and greatest way to teach them to serve the community they are in.
Can’t wait to hear what you have to share!! Love from germany
i love this video. your family is so precious. when you stop yourself from being sarcastic, that is hilarious to me. i feel like you and CR are such a great couple.
Watching this fills me with hope that having a big family is manageable, yes chaotic but so fun and beautiful! People will always say you're crazy for wanting to have many kids, will doubt you but listening to you Angela really puts me at ease. Maybe someday I will also get to have a big loving family, not perfect by any means but still beautiful. Much love ❤️
100% on the selfless, caring of the family unit as a whole. 100%. Especially when it's expected of everyone in the house. (of course when the age deems the responsibility to be appropriate.)
Just so glad I found your channel and love seeing such a beautiful happy family!!! It’s refreshing to see realism and honesty.
Thank you for sharing Angela!! I preordered you book for my kindle (Im from Uruguay so buying the book its quite a ride for me but at least I can read it that way)!
Oooh nice long Q+A, so excited!!
Amen to the college answer, God's call should come over societal expectations with ALL THINGS♡
I’ve been following you for years and It’s been amazing seeing your family grow and there’s no doubt in my mind that all of your babies are happy and loved!! Also the thumbnail picture is absolutely AMAZING
You're so awesome! "You didn't just wake up one day with eight kids". That made me chuckle.
This is so packed full of good sentiments. Thank you for taking the time to record this! We have a surrogate carrying our twins and have two boys now. Not as large as your family but feels like a lot! I will circle back to this video many times.
How exciting! Twins are absolute best! (So hard but SO worth it!) 💗
I love your stance on college. I feel like if a student is responsible for paying for college themselves (rather than the parent paying), they will try harder in school and appreciate it more. Especially in a big family with 8 children, it’s not feasible to pay for every kids college tuition. Even if it was, I feel like lots of conflicts could be created by that. “You paid x amount of money in tuition for so-and-so, but since my tuition is cheaper, can you give me the difference in cash?” Or “I know so-and-so’s college is cheaper, but how come you’re paying all of their tuition and only part of mine? That’s not fair!” Lol yes, leave it to the kids to pay for their own colleges. They will be adults by that time anyway 👍🏼
You are my new favorite person. Love your take on children and college.
The college perspective is helpful. I was very fortunate in that my parents paid for undergrad education for my brother and I. As my fiancé and I have been talking about what our family will look like, including adoption and how many kids we think we may have, I’ve felt a panic/guilt at the thought of not being able to financially provide the same support I was given, because we are considering having a bigger family than we grew up in.
This is such a freeing video. Seriously it felt like a breath of fresh air and a weight off my shoulders. You are so encouraging to me.
I wish more youtubers gave that kind of intro in q and a’s lol. It’s very helpful tbh
I love this! I'm a mama of 7 young kids in New Zealand, I have twins and triplets and def in the survival years at the moment! (My triplets are almost 2).. I love watching your channels and your sisters channel.. Our lives are really different in a lot of ways, but I always feel like there is someone else in the world who gets me when I watch you guys. Big virtual hugs from around the globe ❤❤
Pushed the like button for pushing your kids to be independent. Kids should be learning to take care themselves!
I love how real you are
Your words really touch me ❤
I’ve been sooo busy for the past few months and I haven’t had time to watch your videos so this is the first one I’ve watched in a while. I’ve missed you!! ❤️❤️❤️
Real and relatable answers thanks for being so open it makes me feel better.
I’ve always wanted to adopt and foster kids, but I was thinking 3-5 kids because of the cost of university. But your comment about kids needing love and support more then college funds really spoke to my soul. And it’s 100% true. Thank you for that 💗💗💗
I’m back in the 5-20 kids train because of channels like yours, Crazy Middles/Pieces and Not Enough Nelson’s
You are such a wonderful woman and inspiration! I love watching your videos and I'm fully in love with your style !!
Just found your page while looking for baby names as I’m having my 4th child and I love all your content! You and Jordan Page are now my favorite UA-camrs!❤️
I can relate to your parenting morals and how you guys do things so much! I’m so glad I found your channels!🤍
I love your views on college! I come from a very academically focused family, but I feel the same way as you.
Love your answers to all the questions. Your channels are my fave and look forward to your videos.❤️
Love your mentality, how you raise your family. ❤
I really enjoyed your answer on the kids' responsibilities with their siblings, it was very enlightening and an interesting perspective. I hadn't thought of it that way and often wondered what other kids from large families think about helping raise their siblings. Great Q and A!
You inspire me so much, my husband and I had our first baby in October and both want a large family. So many people we know tell us not to have more than 2 kids because we “wouldn’t be able to give them the attention they need”. It’s so encouraging to hear how you give the kids time and it’s really refreshing to hear someone who is in the “middle” of it rather than everyone who just has an opinion about large families xx thank you
I LOVE utilizing Kohls and then using a coupon on top off the clearance! I scored a lot of spring clothes for my daughter for just dollars! Sometimes shopping at thrift stores cost more money than the amazing deals I have found over and over.
We feel the same about the kids helping out. We are a team and all pull to make this big family work. I feel the same as you. I give my kids a lot of extra privileges when they do help with a little sibling that they wouldn't usually get otherwise and even pay them for tasks so that they are learning how if you work you can earn rewards.
I am so with you on so so many things! I hope you have a wonderful rest of January! God bless from the 11 of us!
I love watching your clean and entertaining content!!
Wow, you are truly AMAZING. Geez, I have so many more questions lol can you do a what we eat in a day? Makeup tutorial? Ways to save money? You are so inspirational.
Thank you for saying that as moms we are enough...I really needed to hear that today
I LOVE you. I love your family. I Love your complete HONESTY.❤
Thank you! You are an encouragement to me. I am a single mom of three teens. I appreciate everything thing you said. Thanks for being a Blessing to others.
You have such a kind soul♥️ You and CR are children raising your children so well♥️
I so love your voice😍 I could listen to it all day long ❤️
I loved this video. I also especially love your answer about kids/college fund. I feel the same way and it was so validating to hear you verbalize it! 🙌🏻
I’ve been anxiously waiting for this chores/tokens/behavior video!! I see ideas all the tine but want to to hear first hand from a real mom how this plays out in day to day life! Yay!!
Good morning. Miss. Angie. I love watching your vlogs. Youre anazing women. I adore you as a loving mom. Lots love from Philippines. God Bless your family.
I can’t remember how I found you. But I am glad I did. Thank u for sharing your experience. ❤️
I’m glad you’re here 💗
My mom is the 9th child of 14 kids. All the older kids had a younger kid to be partially responsible for. The oldest daughter was responsible for my mom. They had a deeper bond and helped the kids learn responsibility and child care. I think this was more normal throughout history when everyone had big families. Small families is a relatively new thing. Its good for kids to be selfless and responsible. We are just spoiled now.
I feel like I could listen to you talk all day. You are so relatable but also filled with so much information that i love learning more about. I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my third child, my 2 boys are 9 and 5 so there will be quite a large age gap. I'm always looking to learn and improve my parenting skills. Especially lately as I've felt like I've been stuck in a negative rut and that always spills over to my kids. Needing a bit of a refresh, so listening to other moms talk just gives me that little kick I need to put myself in check! ❤
Can’t wait for the book! It comes out A DAY before my birthday.. I’m really hoping I can get my hand on it 🙏🏻
Im so happy for you, your family and success! Keep theses videos coming❤️
Angela, what you said about being the adult and being self aware when the kids are stressing you out...I really needed to hear that! I only have one, who’s about to turn 2, but ever since she was born I’ve really struggled with this. I lose my patience with her more than I should and I know I need to remind myself that it’s my ego and not her fault. Not a pleasant realization, but really necessary. Thank you!
Angela, I loved this video! You have very similar ideals that I had in raising my sons (many years ago). I was married at the time and we wanted our boys to be able to take care of themselves if something happened to us...life goes on!
Love everything you said!! Thanks for sharing! 💕
About the older kids helping: anyone who hasn’t watched your video surprising the kids with Benji should see Kennedy and Shelby’s joy when they realized what was going on. It’s so obvious that your kids truly love each other and your big family. ❤️
Valuing each other is so so important and they have it in spades 😊
I LOVE grocery pickup!!! I am just one person and I struggle with impulse by and I am not the best at budgeting. This is the best option for me!
Love this long video!!!!! Recently you are nailing your videos!
I am so proud of you and your husband not growing up in a big family but choosing to have a big family you guys are amazing and your kids are lucky to have you. I am impressed.
I Love This Video, I Can Soo Relate To Pretty Much Everything You Mentioned, Thank You For Sharing It's Refreshing To See The Authenticity That You Exude.
So much yes to your answer about college ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Good morning!!! Love the video, Ang! Could listen to ya all day 😊 Have a great Friday fun day!
What a fun and helpful video! Great advice for small or large families ❤️
I can’t wait for your book! And I never would have thought you didn’t receive a college education!
I love the “big family” content. #goals 💕
Your story is so amazing and full of courage. I always love watching your videos.
I am pregnant with my 6ths child and can relate to so much you talk about.
Where do you find friends for your children, as you are homeschooling?
God bless you Angela!!
You do an awesome job 👏🏼👏🏼