The Shocking TRUTH About Reactive Abuse Exposed
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- Опубліковано 8 лют 2025
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Consider this scenario: you're having a heated argument with someone you care about, and out of sheer frustration, you snap and say or do something you later regret. The other person then focuses on your reaction, claiming that you are the one being abusive. But here's a twist: could your outburst be a reaction to something much deeper? Welcome to the concept of reactive abuse, a term that has the potential to permanently alter your perception of conflicts and relationships.
Sources:
Walker, L. E. (1979). The Battered Woman Syndrome. Harper & Row.
Dutton, D. G., & Painter, S. L. (1993). “The Battered Woman: Psychological Correlates of Domestic Violence.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 8(2), 222-239.
Johnson, M. P. (2006). Conflict and Control: Gender Symmetry and Asymmetry in Domestic Violence. Violence Against Women, 12(11), 1003-1018.
Hamberger, L. K., & Guse, C. E. (2002). “Men's and Women's Use of Intimate Partner Violence in Clinical Samples.” Violence Against Women, 8(11), 1301-1331.
Stark, E. (2007). Coercive Control: The Entrapment of Women in Personal Life. Oxford University Press.
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My partner played mind games with me. If i was confused about something he'd say I was too stupid to pay attention. Said I never did anything. He'd leave me and our baby behind and not tell me what was going on. If i left with her he has chased me down in his car to take her. If i didn't leave with her he has called the police to say i abandoned her and that he didnt want her, and lied to me that she was then taken away. He's thrown water on me for leaving a light on. He's shut the power off, the wifi, the water, wrote messages on the walls... I reacted badly sometimes after all the mental distress. And of course he called me the abusive one. It really is terrible to experience. I got away now and got full custody of our baby.
My mother is a classic narcissist.
But I am fortunate not falling in this cycle.
I am more of a survival mode depressed victim of narcism.
I guess I'm slow. Let's say co-worker (A) is always calling co-worker (B) a nasty slur. One day co-worker (B) has had enough and curses co-worker (A). You're saying co-worker (B) is being abusive because of how they are responding?
Kind of. But it might not be a slur.
Narcissists in the abusive relationship, they know what buttons to push on the victim. The Narcissist will use ANYTHING that is important to the victim, because they know that these are things the victim will passionately defend.
And I really do mean anything, this even includes the victim's own children.
Most Narcissists do not have a conscience, so there is no voice in their head telling them the threshold of low that they need to stop at.
Most people when they argue, there is a limit to how both they can go that they both respect because of their conscience. Because most Narcissists do not have this conscience, they will go to any level to make sure that they win. Because there is nothing more important to a Narcissist than winning, along with COMPLETE control over the narrative.
I kind of went off track a bit, but you're mostly correct about reactive abuse. However, it's usually worse than slurs, things they know the victim will passionately defend.
And the Narcissist will use Reactive Abuse on ANYBODY, even their own children.
That's her
I have made my significant other so upset that it's reactive abuse for sure. I just wish she wouldn'be so conveniently ignorant all the damn time!
That comment about her being ignorant tells me you probably deserved it for putting her down a lot. Communicate better. Ask her questions. Don't assume she's playing ignorant.
Yes. B is reactively abusing A. But it's A fault for the whole situation. A is for asshole here. B is for But I just couldn't take it anymore so I lost it and knifed A in the heart...