Definitely disrespectful if they specifically said they didn't want a party to celebrate. The parents should respect that, they seem to be really manipulative parents. Not encouraging him to go off but scaring him into staying with them.
I feel like his parents infantilized Brandon just so he’d never make it on his own and be forced to stay with them and help out on the farm. It explains why he’s immature…
Even throwing him a party when he didnt want one was a power play. Its a helpless feeling to have to look happy in front of all those guest and be grateful for a party you asked not to have. And to know your mom knows your not happy having to be there and knows you have to smile about it. Ughhh
@@evanjuleen I think gratitude happens more when someone respects your wishes and actively listens. I also felt the party was more of a “look how great of a Mom I am I threw 2 parties in one!”
@@Bubblies005 I don't celebrate my birthday and had a fallout with my best friend over it when she refused to respect that boundary and despite me telling her now came to my house with birthday stuff to try and celebrate with me. Took me quite some time to make her realize that it she was actually doing it for her, not for me and the best thing she could do that isn't selfish is to listen to my wishes and respect them.
Remember the early days where they were driving along and his Mom was commenting about her 'big boy' playing on his game console in the back seat because she'd made him uncomfortable telling him how she was going to sort Julias birth control or something. They are manipulative assholes and kept him acting like a child, he's in a tug of war between Julia telling him to man up and his parents telling him he cannot handle being an adult so needs to stay dependent on them.
@@jonsmith5058 I remember the early days when people were talking mad shit on Brandon in the comments because of how immature he is or how he handles things, but it's really refreshing to see that people now understand that it's been his parents holding him down all along. Not sure how you expect a young man with little to no social interaction to not be different, in Brandon's case being very apathetic, when his parents basically had him locked down on a farm for 20+ years and not preparing him for his future as an adult. Hell you can absolutely tell it was purely intentional as well, because they want him to take over the farm and not have his own life, even trying to guilt him into doing it. And when he goes against that they lash out at him telling him he will fail and come crawling back. His parents are awful excuses for parents.
Kinda feel bad for him in that regard. I wonder if he's tried before only to be constantly shut down so he just kind of gives up because it's a lot of hassle
Yes, often times(not all) the parents are the one who created their monster of a child. I worked with a girl who was just a year younger than me, and she was extremely spoiled. Her parents and sibling we're usually obviously or in denial of it, until she ended up having her own kid, who is just as bratty and horrible as her. So now they have two monsters in their family they have to put up with because the first one was never told "no" their entire life.
Hey Brandon's dad, maybe instead of yelling at your son for never having to pay a bill or be an adult you should be looking at why he can't function as an adult because you didn't teach him how and belittled him into relying on you and your farm.
It's much like my mom, shes mad I'm 16 and don't know how to do much of anything, I was never taught, and yes I'm learning from videos and with experiences, but still, it's not my fault you didn't parent me, now it's my problem 🤦♀️
Betty is manipulative. She has covert reactions to things that are healthy requests for an adult trying to get out on their own. His dad complained that he doesn't pay bills when he says he'll leave and that's full on manipulation. "You can't leave because you don't know how to pay bills" says the parents who litteraly try to GUILT him into staying so he CANT LEARN how to do these things. This episode is a classic example of drawing boundaries with manipulators.
Im so grossed out by the very clear manipulation. Even Brandon himself acknowledges that his mother is doing it for herself. So she can go around like shes such an amazing mom and theyre ungrateful brats. Who cares what their son and his wife want right? They should be thankful and want everything we want.
My parents had some similar bs tactics and it honestly triggers me to see that again. It’s making me feel that childhood feeling of feeling so unheard and restricted.
she is the worst, you can really see how she is trying to keep this fake calm personality on camera. They are basically holding them hostage... we gave you place to stay, so you should be grateful for that and to show your gratefulness, you will stay here helping me with farm and you can be gratefull again bc you have a place to stay
@@karenamyx2205 no I meant what I said. Covert manipulation when someone is being sneaky about it. For instance when the mom threw a party for the dad and their wedding, the couple didn't want it and even the son said she was doing for herself. Which seems like no bid deal to those outside of the dynamic but that's exactly what covert manipulation is, there's probably HOURS of these two young adults getting disregarded, on the daily we don't get to see bc shows don't film them 24/7. Just the parents reaction to two grown ass adults wanting to leave the farm and be independent was clue enough for me. There was no reason for them to get that pissed that their son wants to have his own life with his wife.
As someone with parents who just sprint across boundaries, I definitely feel for Julia having her wishes violated by the mom. She feels like his parents can't even listen to her when she asks for them to simply NOT do something, the absence of action, and they don't care? They're putting in effort to do exactly what they asked to not have happen.
@@tiinaniinikoski2964 I agree! Like I said, I've lived through parents like this and while I don't have the exact same experience as anyone else, I think anyone watching this video (although apaprently not ken and buff?????) could pick up on the guilt trips (especially at the part where they said they wanted to move out and how the parents lashed out). I sympathize with how Julia is likely emotionally responding to it; yet another boundary even lower than the last that got trampled too, it's gotta feel like disappointment after disappointment and each time being a confirmation that they don't respect you. It's definitely not just about the party, but this party is also one more attempt at a smaller boundary, failed. And, there's the added factor that they kind of do need to submit to it as a means of getting by/"surviving" through it; they live with the parents and have no legal claim to continue living there (from my very general impression of the arrangement) and are planning to move out but don't have it rolling yet; mean/abusive people can do some wild things even in the public eye so I wouldn't judge them if they were genuinely concerned about consequences (they don't deserve) from going against the parent's orders. As well, dude bro (I can't remember his name lol sorry) grew up with them and likely isn't aware of just how severely bad it is to be treated like that, even by parents; Julia is having her boundaries violated by at least one emotionally manipulative piece of work, and is married to a victim of that person who is either blind to the manipulation or very un-practiced with his own boundaries with parents (which is hard on him too because that is NOT easy to learn as an adult). It's a shit storm all around and I hope she can emotionally and mentally make it through it. Sorry for that whole essay aha but the long and short of it is that there's so many levels to this nonsense that is not fully resolved by refusing to take it, especially when they're dependant on and vulnerable to the parents in some way. I truly hope it's either not as bad as we see on camera, or that she's able to make it through this with her sense of self-esteem and worth intact :/
@@gracedenney3061 some parents have problem to acknowledge that their children are not kids anymore, especially when they are living in same household still. The realization often comes when they had first serious relationship. His mother probably thinks Julia can´t take care of her son as well as she can and she is just trying to save all the plans she had for the future and which Julia has ruined in her eyes (bc I am sure she never imagined that her beloved son will marry rusian dancer). I get that you want the best for your kids, but also, you can not manage other adults life, they need to learn they own lessons and clearly, her son never experienced that.
....holy shit what a way to run into someone.... I hope you're doing well! Thank you for all the great times and fun memories Grace :) I hope we can get a chance to talk again and catch up sometime P.S. I still think ferris bueller and pulp fiction are master pieces, so thank you for showing them to me :)
Listen, if they've already celebrated their wedding, why would you have another one that your mom invited the guest list for? I've been in a situation similar to this and it is definitely extremely uncomfortable. And besides, why would you split the birthday between dad and a couple who asked for no party? Also, Brandon is a complete jerk for being as old as he is and not paying his parents to live there, but he also is a product of his parents' parenting. You can't come at your kid and say you've never experienced anything in your life and you're completely unprepared for the real world when it's your fault that you didn't prepare your adult child for it while they were still young. They completely enabled him his entire life and then suddenly they're telling him he's unprepared for everything because they pampered him.
Totally agree with you. My 20 year old is much more mature and independent than Brandon is. My aim is to have a happy daughter who can 'adult' in the world, is an asset, not a liability of a person. She works, studies and socialises and has recently moved out, I miss her madly yet I'm thrilled for her as I remember doing it myself and just loving it. She's happy and I can't ask more than that. I'd cry if Brandon was my child.
He works on the farm. That's how he's "paying" to stay there, and I don't think it's normal to make your children pay you to have a roof over their head- especially if you've basically forced them into being almost completely dependent on you.
@@KatzeKriegerin okay, I must've missed that he works on the farm and not just sits around all day (what it seems like). My husband and I have lived with family before, and we still would regularly pay rent or utilities since, you know, we were living there. I think that's pretty normal if you're in your mid to late twenties or older, and married. Even if you don't have a lot of money, you still pay something if you can't afford your own place yet, because some towns and cities are expensive
@@Pink_Aqua here in the country, generally if your working full time in a family business like say "a farm", your either given free expenses or actually paid if the business can afford it. It's to effectively subsidise the fact your work time has gone to help the family business/farm and not your own career. I'd imagine it's the same in the US
The problem with clips is you don’t get the full picture. Julia didn’t want a party because it was so heart breaking for her that her own family could not be there. I personally 100% understand why she would specify no party, and why she’s mad her wishes were ignored.
I’m not gonna lie I agree with them on the weird mesh party thing. I can see why they’re annoyed because they may have wanted to celebrate their anniversary differently
@@1stHalf ikr! I dont get why Ken and buff is doing the whole "bleh whatever be grateful u have a party! Oh no they threw a party (sarcastically)" it doesn't matter they asked specifically not to have one its just disrespectful
Its a helpless feeling to have to smile for a party and look happy when you know you asked not to be there and to know someone put you in that possition knowingly is aweful. Think about it, brandon is grown and his mom overrode his party decision literally taking away his choice about how he spends his time and who he spends it with like a child. And he has to allow it and accept that what she wants for him is more important then making his own choices because "its a party he should be happy".
@@yeah88942 Exactly, we all know it's great to be grateful but it's also great to be considerate of someone's major life choices. Friends and family should know never to overstep their own boundaries unless their family or friend is in danger.
I think it’s the principle because his parents are so overbearing and self centred… if you specifically ask no party and they do it, they’re not doing it for you they’re doing it for themselves
The thing about the party, it could just be pent-up energy from anger and frustration because these parents don't listen. And them scalding Brandon for never having payed bills when they were the ones who sheltered him and kept him from taking on responsibility. He is their product, but they are too self-obsessed to see any error in themselves. It's hard to listen to so I understand that Julia doesn't like them.
I actually feel sorry for Brandon in this one. His parents make sure they stunt his growth while telling him they love taking care of him, and when he tries to grow and be a better person, they then throw it all in his face like they've been holding on to it for this very purpose and legit use aggression and scare tactics into getting him to stay and take care of them and their farm. No wonder he feels like he can't talk to them. They go from zero to a THOUSAND in his face.
As someone who doesn't like parties but has parents who still throw them until I put my foot down hard enough this is annoying. The cases usually are that they claim the party is for you and it's actually for them or it's just a situation where they want you to owe them. They didn't want the party and the mom proceeded to do it while also inviting people that they didn't know about it. Sometimes you can be grateful but not all times, it gets frustrating
Yeah my ex's family is like that with him. He sets boundaries because he has severe social anxiety, and he does try his best to go to like holiday events and parties because he cares about his family but they are always doing the most to push his boundaries and then act like they were doing it for him and he isn't being grateful enough when he had already asked for them NOT to do xyz. After putting up with it so many times, and continuously nicely setting hard limits there comes a point when you just get fed up and can't always be nice about it because being nice hasn't gotten you anywhere.
Where I live we usually have these bigger birthday parties when you are turning like 30, 40, 50 etc. so in my mind it´s more disrespectful to dad even tho it looks like mom is the only one who cares :D Also, I don´t get why would you have party to celebrate your wedding when you actually had your wedding day
Hey you can try my strategy, say hellow to everyone there, leave the party area and then just chill with your phone/computer/console and then just enjoy the food
Bro, same. There was one year that they threw a surprise party for me and I refused to leave the bedroom because it was a bunch of people I didn't know. It was rough. I was so upset.
They were not necessarily being petty, some people genuinely feel uncomfortable with a lot of attention towards them, and there’s nothing wrong with that, my sister was getting married, and she asked her in laws not to throw her a party, and they did anyway, and she had a major panic attack as a result, things aren’t always black and white.
I remember one of their biggest arguments was about her not wanting a wedding party because her parents couldn’t attend. Just seems like the mom never really listens to her wants
As someone whose struggled to get out of my parents home, my mom did this to me as well. They take this "not paying rent/bills" Yada yada and throw it in your face to guilt you. It hurts and it's so much harder to build that confidence to move out and grow.
Yeah, I definitely understand that, and then when you finally get to leave and you're like... what was the problem? It's honestly not difficult (making money can be occasionally but like seriously?)
this honestly boils down to brandon's parents. like seriously, they spoiled him too much, treated him like a child instead of treating him his exact age, make decisions for him, and then they proceed to blame him for not being a proper adult. i wont deny that brandon had shitty decisions, but im happy to see him start to stand up for his own and julia
@@Twirlingbarbie same thing sort of happened to me. I don't like parties and my sister planned a surprise one. I cried for most of the night because my house wasn't prepared for guests and didn't want to entertain people. It was an absolute nightmare and I would have made a HUGE scene if I specifically told her no party beforehand and she did it anyways, but considering I never had a birthday party before, I didn't think it needed to be said. I hate when people ignore direct requests because they think they know better.
Yeah, it seems nice only on the surface. It's not that she wanted to celebrate their marriage, she wanted to have it her way no matter what the couple wanted. If it's for the couple they should be having fun, but I don't see how you could have fun if someone disrespected your wishes. Also, surprise parties may be nice for some people, maybe someone who's outgoing and extroverted, but if someone did that to me I'd be so stressed because I wasn't prepared to be a centre of attention.
@@dontworrynotme all of this is just a hell scenario for me with autistic tendencies. If I get overstimulated for longer periods of time i literally break down like that, especially if I _have_ to be the social host too
GEEZ Ken and Buff- It doesn’t matter if the party was a “nice gesture” or not; you have to respect people’s wishes. You can’t force something on someone (even if it is nice) and expect them to be happy. This isn’t like a surprise party, where the most you can feel is awkward. She asked a yes or no question, they said no, and she did it anyway. That’s what makes it a problem.
I'm glad that Brendan and Julia are actually standing up for themselves and trying to separate. I hope they keep it up, especially if they ever want to have kids. I understand passing on your legacy, but I don't understand stifling your kids. You chose the farm, not them
The parents could have like... Helped them prepare for moving out and given them advice and let them know what they need to do... but instead they were like "You think you can move out? Idiot? Absolute buffoon? Ridiculous!" And the party, if they had already said they didn't want one then they should have respected that.
That’s what I was thinking! I would be so pissed off hearing my dad talk to me like that when I’m trying to take the next step. Idk why they want to be proved right when they should just encourage and support them both.
@@SuperMisteryMan01 They want to do that whole thing where the farm was with their family for centuries and if their child doesn't want to take over they throw a fit. Probably because their whole fantasy was to have their children take over, and when their fantasy is smashed by the reality of their child being their own human and having their own interests/desires/aspirations they freak out.
@@SuperMisteryMan01 they want him to believe he can’t survive even doing simple tasks on his own like they did. Sad their child isn’t a doll and can be forced to think and be like them. It brings them joy because they’re sick and self absorbed. Brandon should use it fuel his escape, it won’t get better. .
This is my mom with my brother... It's tiresome and infuriating. There's almost 18 years between us. And we were raised so differently. Hmmm maybe that's why Brandon and parents get on my nerves so much. Gigglesnort
He lives with them working the farm. I'm more amazed he works there and they're like "you've never paid a bill?!" The quest is were they paying him? If we had a particularly tight year I'd not take a salary from the family farm to keep it in the family and in the green, but if it's doing well they should be paying him
the kid probably was taught to work the farm and the parents just expected that he would take over. they didnt prepare him for life independent of them and the farm cause they assumed he would take over the house the farm and never need a job outside the farm and wouldnt need to be prepared to buy a home. thats how most farmers i have encountered seem to plan for there kids. and they never bitched at him one single time about living at home rent free they bitch at him for wanting to move out its literally to opposite of you're implication with you're comment.
The fact that they don't want him to have independence is such a red flag. The parents act like their 16 years old. Their all so codependent on each other
Hell yeah. I love being early. Edit: I feel like Julia was probably trying to set some boundaries so that she could feel like she had some say in the marriage. As someone who lived with my husband's mother, I can totally get it. Especially when you take into consideration the fact that his mother violated that boundary in such a public way so that Julia would come across as a huge bitch if she were to say something. If this is a small town where everybody knows everybody, throwing this party when the mother had been asked not to was DEFINITELY an intentional power play showing that Julia has NO say in ANYTHING.
Not to mention that because of the situation (different country/language, covid etc.) there is a chance that Julia hasn't been able to make any local friends yet. It's possible that she and Brandon didn't want to have a party that was supposed to be celebrating both of them equally, but would then only have quests that he knew and would make her feel ostracized.
Yea. But like the mom does whatever she wants without regard to anyone’s feelings. She wants to control every aspect of her loved ones lives. Not everyone could make it to the wedding I guess so the mom wanted to throw another party
i'd feel so uncomfortable and rude if someone split my wedding party over someone else's birthday party. especially if i asked for someone not to do that. i'd also like to add it's fcking weird they're putting him down for never having responsibility, while being ok with not giving him that responsibility, but expecting him to take over an ENTIRE farm anyway. that shit is not easy.
@@mrpeach2023 oh I agree, he should be able to do what he wants. They are just trying to stress him into staying home. I'm sure once he gets out he will be fine. She seems very independent I'm sure she can teach him how to budget.
As an adult with sometimes over bearing parents, it's about respect. No matter how many times I say I'm an atheist and don't wish to discuss it, they still try to make me pray with them. It's annoying. I certainly would not be pleased if I went to a party and it turned out to be an entire afternoon of prayer.
My grandmother was similar. Until I sat down with her and explained why I'm an atheist and that praying made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. Took a while, but she eventually understood that me being an atheist isn't a slight against her or what she wished for me.
Bruh same, and when you try to tell them it's not cool, they give you a 2 hr lecture on why something bad will happen to you and that none of your achievements are your own because of religion. I def understand why she's mad because I also have the same issue with celebrations and parents forcing it
"They are totally unprepared" no, brandon is unprepared, because of their shitty parenting. Julia has lived on her own, shes a grown ass woman who could probably provide for Brandon herself
That's why I love Julia, She's NOT after the money or the green card. She had a life, she had a job, she had her own place, she probably had friends and she gave it all up for what is honestly a much WORSE life than the one she's had lol.
I totally get these people being upset over being forced into a party. I don't even go to other people's parties let alone have one myself because I don't like being the center of attention. It's an amxiety/introvert thing. I don't expect you guys to understand tho, you seem very outgoing
I hate parties to...i don't even go to restaurants to eat cause my anxiety goes through the roof and i can barely focus on my food or the people im eating with...i like my space.
Not everyone likes parties. Some people have social anxiety. I usually agree with your criticisms, but I think you guys were off the mark with this one.
You know what's nice? Different people, different opinions and thoughts on things it happens because none of use are completely alike and there's nothing wrong with having different thoughts and feelings on things even if it's with someone with whom you usually agree with on most everything. Funny huh?
There was a scene before this taking place where they very, very clearly said no we do not want a party. Some people don't like that sort of attention. The issue here was that the party was 100% not for them, it was for his mom. If I say to you, "no I do not want my car painted purple." and I come out to my car being painted purple the next day, it's not a nice gesture. It's malicious.
I’m not gonna lie. I would also be extremely upset if someone threw me a party when I told them specifically not to do so. I would most likely leave. I do like parties and I can’t stand surprises.
Well, my stepmom was throwing a party 'cause my dad turned 50 and I'm about to graduate (Literally few assignments and work of seminare left), but made even the invitations basically about herself . Gladly she suddenly got some random COVID fear into her and canceled the whole thing. She did the same thing for my step-sister (Her own daughter) when she graduated from College and made the party to celebrate how my sister graduated 20 after she graduated. Did the party stealing thing for my College graduation too 8 years earlier , so maybe it's just a some sort of "mom power-trip" when kids accomplish something lol
I suffer from really bad anxiety, constantly overthinking, always exhausted, can barely hold a conversation with someone but you guys can bring peace to my mind and even if it’s for a few minutes I’m very thankful.
Terrible parents I'm sorry. Instead of encouraging and giving advice about being on his own it's like they trap him there. My father was the same way so I can relate. When I even brought up the topic of moving out... All negative. Ill never forgive him for that.
That sucks man. My stepdad sat down with me when I was moving out, and we just chatted about whether I could handle it financially. Turns out I had more cash than he did 😂.
It's not about being grateful someone is celebrating you, it's about being thrown into the center of attention of everyone in the room when you don't want to.
It’s the not respecting the fact that he and his wife said no to a party for me. This is just another example of them not respecting him snd his boundaries. Plus, Betty seems like they type that’d lord it over them that she gave them a party
It's not about a party, it's about them thinking that Brandon and Julia's wishes and opinions on their own lives are of lesser priority than those of his parents' (especially seeing as the guests are mostly the ones for the dad's birthday, there is no one there for Julia). They are being belittled and forced to accept a debt of gratitude, that might then be thrown in your face and used to guilt trip you during arguments or when you are being asked for a favor you don't really want to do. It's a control tactic/method and whatever or not his parents indend it to be such doesn't mean they need to submit to it.
You guys have kept me laughing through a very stressful time, my mom has had a stroke, gone on dialysis, and now has covid and this has all happened in less than 2 months, every day I look forward to your uploads because for 15 or 20 minutes all I have to worry about is not laughing so loud I disturb someone. Thanks guys!
In their defense, the problem wouldn't be the party or attention itself, It'd be the fact that something was explicitly asked not to be done and those wishes were ignored. I think this is indicant of the larger issue at hand.
Some kids who were raised on a farm do not want to live the rest of their lives on a farm. Kudos to TLC for finding phucked up families to film, and Kudos to the phucked up families who want to be filmed by TLC! Kudos to Buff and Ken for their phucked up commentary which makes me laugh with every post!
The way the parents treat Brandon is so unsupportive. Yet, they throw a lame party that Brandon and Julia didn’t want. No wonder they were mad, it was fake
I get that they want to pass the farm down but letting him go to experience life would be better then to barrage them with "facts" about how they will struggle.
Brendan's Parents: You're going to need to be an adult, do adult things like paying bills. Brendan: Tries to be an adult, do adult things like paying bills. Brendan's Parents; What? How dare you do the things that we should've prepared you for but didn't.
I've never seen parents being mad about their children trying to live their lives with their wives/husbands? Like, yeah he may have never done anything before but is it so bad that he wants to try? They are talking like leaving the farm to be on their own is a crime
I understand being upset about the “just married” celebration thing. It’s reminds me of when my parents would throw me a birthday party, and the only people invited were my parents friends. Maybe one of their friends had a kid my age that would tag along, but it mainly consisted of people 30+ years older than me. I would rather do nothing for my birthday vs having to put on a forced smile in front of people I barely know. Having situations like this thrusted upon you, especially with strangers around to watch and judge you, is extremely uncomfortable and takes away any enjoyment you may have during whatever you may be celebrating.
Honestly, with my anxiety, if someone threw me a party and I didn't know until I showed up, I would probably get pretty nervous. I wouldn't be MAD, per se, and I'd be thankful, but it would throw me for a loop. However, I recognize that this isn't the "usual" response.
The parents though, if he doesn't know how to fend for himself then his parents failed him. They should have given him these skills. It's like the are using free rent to control him.
@@AlyssaTalks ooooh that’s why some dude on my facebook said they will be out of business by the end of the year. lol. That makes sense now. Unless they get more celebs in there.
Depending on the size of the farm, the water bill on a decent sized one can be pretty expensive. I worked on a farm for a few years. It's really easy to go through thousands and thousands of gallons in just a few days depending on the season.
I get where you guys are coming from with the whole party being a nice gesture, but there are A LOT of people who don't like surprises.. They're legitimately stressful for some
It's about boundaries. We went through a lot with my in laws, well MIL, surrounding our wedding/party and not respecting any of our decisions & choices. In the end she threatened her entire side of the family so they would not attend the small event we did have, and they didn't come themselves. I get where Julia and Brandon are coming from.
Oh yes, oh ho ho ho, yes. Thank you. So many people dont understand this that it isnt funny. They do something nice that most people would think was out of the kindness of their hearts and use it as leverage to make sure that you do what they want you do do by guilt tripping you about it.
Oof ken. This is like the first time that I think you’re roasting the wrong person. They set boundaries and mom is always crossing them. It’s not about the party. It’s that Brandon’s mom does whatever she wants and doesn’t respect anyone else’s wishes or needs
I think that man was very nice enough to let Julia know about the certifications needed to teach classes, coming from another whole other country that was much needed info
I can sympathise with not wanting a party. I get anxious a lot and I told my mother please don’t throw a party for my 18th and she did it anyway and i walked in and there was so many people in the house shouting surprise and it hated it so much.
This is the only time I have to back entirely on agreeing with you guys. If I ask "Do not bring people together and have them put their attention on me for a celebration." - I expect they don't. If they do? I'm not there. I will leave. Sucks to be whoever threw it together. I am not taking gifts, money or anything. My one wish for anything - stop firing up my anxiety, awkwardness and need for space. If I'd rather avoid a million dollars so I can not be there, I'd expect people to think for a moment. "Hell... They REALLY don't want this. There may be an a good reason."
As someone who lives in a big farming community I can tell you that the next generation do not want to be farmers. We’re experiencing huge growth in our area because people are selling off their farms and land. But hey… we’re getting and Dunkin Doughnuts and a Chipotle Grill😁
Definitely disrespectful if they specifically said they didn't want a party to celebrate. The parents should respect that, they seem to be really manipulative parents. Not encouraging him to go off but scaring him into staying with them.
EXACTLY
I totally agree, they have messed him up for sure
Exactly
Agreed
Thank you! It's about boundaries and respect, and those parents don't have that.
I feel like his parents infantilized Brandon just so he’d never make it on his own and be forced to stay with them and help out on the farm. It explains why he’s immature…
Even throwing him a party when he didnt want one was a power play. Its a helpless feeling to have to look happy in front of all those guest and be grateful for a party you asked not to have. And to know your mom knows your not happy having to be there and knows you have to smile about it. Ughhh
@@evanjuleen I think gratitude happens more when someone respects your wishes and actively listens. I also felt the party was more of a “look how great of a Mom I am I threw 2 parties in one!”
@@Bubblies005 I don't celebrate my birthday and had a fallout with my best friend over it when she refused to respect that boundary and despite me telling her now came to my house with birthday stuff to try and celebrate with me. Took me quite some time to make her realize that it she was actually doing it for her, not for me and the best thing she could do that isn't selfish is to listen to my wishes and respect them.
Fr man.
As a product of people who tried raising me like that, I agree with you. I am 32 years old and I am struggling, and I've only been away for 8 years
It seems like every attempt Brandon makes to be an adult is faced with backlash from his parents. They are the ones that created the monster
Exactly! Its awful.
Remember the early days where they were driving along and his Mom was commenting about her 'big boy' playing on his game console in the back seat because she'd made him uncomfortable telling him how she was going to sort Julias birth control or something. They are manipulative assholes and kept him acting like a child, he's in a tug of war between Julia telling him to man up and his parents telling him he cannot handle being an adult so needs to stay dependent on them.
@@jonsmith5058 I remember the early days when people were talking mad shit on Brandon in the comments because of how immature he is or how he handles things, but it's really refreshing to see that people now understand that it's been his parents holding him down all along.
Not sure how you expect a young man with little to no social interaction to not be different, in Brandon's case being very apathetic, when his parents basically had him locked down on a farm for 20+ years and not preparing him for his future as an adult. Hell you can absolutely tell it was purely intentional as well, because they want him to take over the farm and not have his own life, even trying to guilt him into doing it. And when he goes against that they lash out at him telling him he will fail and come crawling back. His parents are awful excuses for parents.
Kinda feel bad for him in that regard. I wonder if he's tried before only to be constantly shut down so he just kind of gives up because it's a lot of hassle
Yes, often times(not all) the parents are the one who created their monster of a child. I worked with a girl who was just a year younger than me, and she was extremely spoiled. Her parents and sibling we're usually obviously or in denial of it, until she ended up having her own kid, who is just as bratty and horrible as her. So now they have two monsters in their family they have to put up with because the first one was never told "no" their entire life.
Hey Brandon's dad, maybe instead of yelling at your son for never having to pay a bill or be an adult you should be looking at why he can't function as an adult because you didn't teach him how and belittled him into relying on you and your farm.
When parents blame their kids for not having life skills or the tools to deal with normal adult situations. 🤡
It's much like my mom, shes mad I'm 16 and don't know how to do much of anything, I was never taught, and yes I'm learning from videos and with experiences, but still, it's not my fault you didn't parent me, now it's my problem 🤦♀️
Betty is manipulative. She has covert reactions to things that are healthy requests for an adult trying to get out on their own. His dad complained that he doesn't pay bills when he says he'll leave and that's full on manipulation. "You can't leave because you don't know how to pay bills" says the parents who litteraly try to GUILT him into staying so he CANT LEARN how to do these things. This episode is a classic example of drawing boundaries with manipulators.
Im so grossed out by the very clear manipulation. Even Brandon himself acknowledges that his mother is doing it for herself. So she can go around like shes such an amazing mom and theyre ungrateful brats. Who cares what their son and his wife want right? They should be thankful and want everything we want.
My parents had some similar bs tactics and it honestly triggers me to see that again. It’s making me feel that childhood feeling of feeling so unheard and restricted.
she is the worst, you can really see how she is trying to keep this fake calm personality on camera. They are basically holding them hostage... we gave you place to stay, so you should be grateful for that and to show your gratefulness, you will stay here helping me with farm and you can be gratefull again bc you have a place to stay
Do you mean overt? Or am I missing something. Whats a covert reaction?
@@karenamyx2205 no I meant what I said. Covert manipulation when someone is being sneaky about it. For instance when the mom threw a party for the dad and their wedding, the couple didn't want it and even the son said she was doing for herself. Which seems like no bid deal to those outside of the dynamic but that's exactly what covert manipulation is, there's probably HOURS of these two young adults getting disregarded, on the daily we don't get to see bc shows don't film them 24/7. Just the parents reaction to two grown ass adults wanting to leave the farm and be independent was clue enough for me. There was no reason for them to get that pissed that their son wants to have his own life with his wife.
As someone with parents who just sprint across boundaries, I definitely feel for Julia having her wishes violated by the mom. She feels like his parents can't even listen to her when she asks for them to simply NOT do something, the absence of action, and they don't care? They're putting in effort to do exactly what they asked to not have happen.
@@tiinaniinikoski2964 I agree! Like I said, I've lived through parents like this and while I don't have the exact same experience as anyone else, I think anyone watching this video (although apaprently not ken and buff?????) could pick up on the guilt trips (especially at the part where they said they wanted to move out and how the parents lashed out). I sympathize with how Julia is likely emotionally responding to it; yet another boundary even lower than the last that got trampled too, it's gotta feel like disappointment after disappointment and each time being a confirmation that they don't respect you. It's definitely not just about the party, but this party is also one more attempt at a smaller boundary, failed.
And, there's the added factor that they kind of do need to submit to it as a means of getting by/"surviving" through it; they live with the parents and have no legal claim to continue living there (from my very general impression of the arrangement) and are planning to move out but don't have it rolling yet; mean/abusive people can do some wild things even in the public eye so I wouldn't judge them if they were genuinely concerned about consequences (they don't deserve) from going against the parent's orders. As well, dude bro (I can't remember his name lol sorry) grew up with them and likely isn't aware of just how severely bad it is to be treated like that, even by parents; Julia is having her boundaries violated by at least one emotionally manipulative piece of work, and is married to a victim of that person who is either blind to the manipulation or very un-practiced with his own boundaries with parents (which is hard on him too because that is NOT easy to learn as an adult). It's a shit storm all around and I hope she can emotionally and mentally make it through it.
Sorry for that whole essay aha but the long and short of it is that there's so many levels to this nonsense that is not fully resolved by refusing to take it, especially when they're dependant on and vulnerable to the parents in some way. I truly hope it's either not as bad as we see on camera, or that she's able to make it through this with her sense of self-esteem and worth intact :/
@@gracedenney3061 some parents have problem to acknowledge that their children are not kids anymore, especially when they are living in same household still. The realization often comes when they had first serious relationship. His mother probably thinks Julia can´t take care of her son as well as she can and she is just trying to save all the plans she had for the future and which Julia has ruined in her eyes (bc I am sure she never imagined that her beloved son will marry rusian dancer). I get that you want the best for your kids, but also, you can not manage other adults life, they need to learn they own lessons and clearly, her son never experienced that.
....holy shit what a way to run into someone.... I hope you're doing well! Thank you for all the great times and fun memories Grace :) I hope we can get a chance to talk again and catch up sometime
P.S. I still think ferris bueller and pulp fiction are master pieces, so thank you for showing them to me :)
Also, her being the in-law makes it a whole lot harder to deal with.
Listen, if they've already celebrated their wedding, why would you have another one that your mom invited the guest list for? I've been in a situation similar to this and it is definitely extremely uncomfortable. And besides, why would you split the birthday between dad and a couple who asked for no party? Also, Brandon is a complete jerk for being as old as he is and not paying his parents to live there, but he also is a product of his parents' parenting. You can't come at your kid and say you've never experienced anything in your life and you're completely unprepared for the real world when it's your fault that you didn't prepare your adult child for it while they were still young. They completely enabled him his entire life and then suddenly they're telling him he's unprepared for everything because they pampered him.
Totally agree with you. My 20 year old is much more mature and independent than Brandon is. My aim is to have a happy daughter who can 'adult' in the world, is an asset, not a liability of a person. She works, studies and socialises and has recently moved out, I miss her madly yet I'm thrilled for her as I remember doing it myself and just loving it. She's happy and I can't ask more than that. I'd cry if Brandon was my child.
He works on the farm. That's how he's "paying" to stay there, and I don't think it's normal to make your children pay you to have a roof over their head- especially if you've basically forced them into being almost completely dependent on you.
@@KatzeKriegerin okay, I must've missed that he works on the farm and not just sits around all day (what it seems like). My husband and I have lived with family before, and we still would regularly pay rent or utilities since, you know, we were living there. I think that's pretty normal if you're in your mid to late twenties or older, and married. Even if you don't have a lot of money, you still pay something if you can't afford your own place yet, because some towns and cities are expensive
@@Pink_Aqua here in the country, generally if your working full time in a family business like say "a farm", your either given free expenses or actually paid if the business can afford it. It's to effectively subsidise the fact your work time has gone to help the family business/farm and not your own career. I'd imagine it's the same in the US
@@KatzeKriegerin right, brandon’s personality is gag-worthy but let’s not discredit farmwork wahaha
The problem with clips is you don’t get the full picture. Julia didn’t want a party because it was so heart breaking for her that her own family could not be there. I personally 100% understand why she would specify no party, and why she’s mad her wishes were ignored.
If anything, to make that special - invite the parents for a visit, rather than a more direct gift, make it something personal like that.
@@kinagrillyeah but that requires genuine empathy and/or compassion that extends past your ability to PRETEND you have it 😂
Who cares she's got to man up
I’m not gonna lie I agree with them on the weird mesh party thing. I can see why they’re annoyed because they may have wanted to celebrate their anniversary differently
Yeah I don't get why people don't get why they aren't allowed to be upset when people control their major life choices.
@@1stHalf ikr! I dont get why Ken and buff is doing the whole "bleh whatever be grateful u have a party! Oh no they threw a party (sarcastically)" it doesn't matter they asked specifically not to have one its just disrespectful
For real!! If it were my wedding party I’d wanna be dressed up and pick the decor and everything lmao
Its a helpless feeling to have to smile for a party and look happy when you know you asked not to be there and to know someone put you in that possition knowingly is aweful.
Think about it, brandon is grown and his mom overrode his party decision literally taking away his choice about how he spends his time and who he spends it with like a child. And he has to allow it and accept that what she wants for him is more important then making his own choices because "its a party he should be happy".
@@yeah88942 Exactly, we all know it's great to be grateful but it's also great to be considerate of someone's major life choices. Friends and family should know never to overstep their own boundaries unless their family or friend is in danger.
I think it’s the principle because his parents are so overbearing and self centred… if you specifically ask no party and they do it, they’re not doing it for you they’re doing it for themselves
Its not about the party... its about respecting everyone's decision.. and the mom didnt respect theirs...
Exactly 👍
The thing about the party, it could just be pent-up energy from anger and frustration because these parents don't listen. And them scalding Brandon for never having payed bills when they were the ones who sheltered him and kept him from taking on responsibility. He is their product, but they are too self-obsessed to see any error in themselves. It's hard to listen to so I understand that Julia doesn't like them.
For real! I mean the mom literally has a whole ass breakdown at the mere suggestion her 30 year old son moves out. Its weird as hell
I'm sure the editing also purposely makes Julia and Brandon look worse. His mom seems like she likes to play mind games a lot
paid*
I actually feel sorry for Brandon in this one. His parents make sure they stunt his growth while telling him they love taking care of him, and when he tries to grow and be a better person, they then throw it all in his face like they've been holding on to it for this very purpose and legit use aggression and scare tactics into getting him to stay and take care of them and their farm. No wonder he feels like he can't talk to them. They go from zero to a THOUSAND in his face.
As someone who doesn't like parties but has parents who still throw them until I put my foot down hard enough this is annoying. The cases usually are that they claim the party is for you and it's actually for them or it's just a situation where they want you to owe them. They didn't want the party and the mom proceeded to do it while also inviting people that they didn't know about it. Sometimes you can be grateful but not all times, it gets frustrating
This. If I say I don’t want something, that’s it. Decision made. I would’ve been so grumpy in their position!
I hear you. My mom is the same way
Yeah my ex's family is like that with him. He sets boundaries because he has severe social anxiety, and he does try his best to go to like holiday events and parties because he cares about his family but they are always doing the most to push his boundaries and then act like they were doing it for him and he isn't being grateful enough when he had already asked for them NOT to do xyz. After putting up with it so many times, and continuously nicely setting hard limits there comes a point when you just get fed up and can't always be nice about it because being nice hasn't gotten you anywhere.
Where I live we usually have these bigger birthday parties when you are turning like 30, 40, 50 etc. so in my mind it´s more disrespectful to dad even tho it looks like mom is the only one who cares :D Also, I don´t get why would you have party to celebrate your wedding when you actually had your wedding day
Hey you can try my strategy, say hellow to everyone there, leave the party area and then just chill with your phone/computer/console and then just enjoy the food
As someone with social anxiety, the thought of a surprise party is a nightmare to me.
It's straight up horrifying
Same. I hate the attention being on me.
If i got a surprise party i might actually just pass out.
Yup!
Bro, same. There was one year that they threw a surprise party for me and I refused to leave the bedroom because it was a bunch of people I didn't know. It was rough. I was so upset.
They were not necessarily being petty, some people genuinely feel uncomfortable with a lot of attention towards them, and there’s nothing wrong with that, my sister was getting married, and she asked her in laws not to throw her a party, and they did anyway, and she had a major panic attack as a result, things aren’t always black and white.
Coffee and couch gang, hell yeah. On a rainy day this is the best.
ooh that sounds lovely
Yea um now I know where u live 😈😈😈
Chicago lol
its absolutely storming where I’m at rn! Winnipeg
😂😂😂@ Liam & LOL. Yup. I guess now people now where we're at.
I remember one of their biggest arguments was about her not wanting a wedding party because her parents couldn’t attend. Just seems like the mom never really listens to her wants
Oh she listens. She listens. It was a passive aggressive. At least I think.
As someone whose struggled to get out of my parents home, my mom did this to me as well. They take this "not paying rent/bills" Yada yada and throw it in your face to guilt you. It hurts and it's so much harder to build that confidence to move out and grow.
Same. I finally decided to do it and did it in 2 weeks lol. It's hard sometimes but I feel happier than before.
Yeah, I definitely understand that, and then when you finally get to leave and you're like... what was the problem? It's honestly not difficult (making money can be occasionally but like seriously?)
this honestly boils down to brandon's parents. like seriously, they spoiled him too much, treated him like a child instead of treating him his exact age, make decisions for him, and then they proceed to blame him for not being a proper adult. i wont deny that brandon had shitty decisions, but im happy to see him start to stand up for his own and julia
Oh they didn't spoil him. He's not spoiled. He's beating down. Has no willpower. At least did. Not spoiled.
I would have been absolutely pissed if I told my mother to not throw me a party and she did it anyways. Super disrespectful to not honor their wishes
yeah I had that happening and it just ended with me crying and begging to go home and my mom shouting at me for not liking the party
@@Twirlingbarbie same thing sort of happened to me. I don't like parties and my sister planned a surprise one. I cried for most of the night because my house wasn't prepared for guests and didn't want to entertain people. It was an absolute nightmare and I would have made a HUGE scene if I specifically told her no party beforehand and she did it anyways, but considering I never had a birthday party before, I didn't think it needed to be said.
I hate when people ignore direct requests because they think they know better.
Yeah, it seems nice only on the surface. It's not that she wanted to celebrate their marriage, she wanted to have it her way no matter what the couple wanted. If it's for the couple they should be having fun, but I don't see how you could have fun if someone disrespected your wishes. Also, surprise parties may be nice for some people, maybe someone who's outgoing and extroverted, but if someone did that to me I'd be so stressed because I wasn't prepared to be a centre of attention.
Mom just wants an excuse to drink.
@@dontworrynotme all of this is just a hell scenario for me with autistic tendencies. If I get overstimulated for longer periods of time i literally break down like that, especially if I _have_ to be the social host too
GEEZ Ken and Buff-
It doesn’t matter if the party was a “nice gesture” or not; you have to respect people’s wishes. You can’t force something on someone (even if it is nice) and expect them to be happy. This isn’t like a surprise party, where the most you can feel is awkward. She asked a yes or no question, they said no, and she did it anyway. That’s what makes it a problem.
Precisely
I agree with you 100%
Absolutely
Yes!
exactly, brandon and julia's glances were obviously shouting uncomfortable feels
I'm glad that Brendan and Julia are actually standing up for themselves and trying to separate. I hope they keep it up, especially if they ever want to have kids. I understand passing on your legacy, but I don't understand stifling your kids. You chose the farm, not them
Children shouldn't have children lmao
@@SirZipper or anyone else at this point🤦♀️ we should just stop
I think the main thing is he loves the farm he just ended up with a city girl his parents are trying to show him she ant it lol
The parents could have like... Helped them prepare for moving out and given them advice and let them know what they need to do... but instead they were like "You think you can move out? Idiot? Absolute buffoon? Ridiculous!" And the party, if they had already said they didn't want one then they should have respected that.
That’s what I was thinking! I would be so pissed off hearing my dad talk to me like that when I’m trying to take the next step. Idk why they want to be proved right when they should just encourage and support them both.
@@SuperMisteryMan01 They want to do that whole thing where the farm was with their family for centuries and if their child doesn't want to take over they throw a fit. Probably because their whole fantasy was to have their children take over, and when their fantasy is smashed by the reality of their child being their own human and having their own interests/desires/aspirations they freak out.
@@SuperMisteryMan01 they want him to believe he can’t survive even doing simple tasks on his own like they did. Sad their child isn’t a doll and can be forced to think and be like them. It brings them joy because they’re sick and self absorbed. Brandon should use it fuel his escape, it won’t get better. .
*Some dude: "Buddy!"*
*BuffPro: "How dare you?!"*
BUff: "I'm swinging on the next guy that calls me buddy"
Ken: "Hello every-buddy"
I call people buddy only to piss people off. Works every time 😅
I'm glad I'm not the only one that noiced that
Parents: *Allows son to live with them rent free and not do anything*
Son: *Lives there rent free and doesn't do anything*
Parents: "How DARE you?!"
This is my mom with my brother... It's tiresome and infuriating.
There's almost 18 years between us. And we were raised so differently.
Hmmm maybe that's why Brandon and parents get on my nerves so much. Gigglesnort
doesn't he help on the farm?
He lives with them working the farm. I'm more amazed he works there and they're like "you've never paid a bill?!"
The quest is were they paying him?
If we had a particularly tight year I'd not take a salary from the family farm to keep it in the family and in the green, but if it's doing well they should be paying him
the kid probably was taught to work the farm and the parents just expected that he would take over. they didnt prepare him for life independent of them and the farm cause they assumed he would take over the house the farm and never need a job outside the farm and wouldnt need to be prepared to buy a home. thats how most farmers i have encountered seem to plan for there kids. and they never bitched at him one single time about living at home rent free they bitch at him for wanting to move out its literally to opposite of you're implication with you're comment.
Also how dare you for trying to change it. Damned if you do damned if you don't.
The fact that they don't want him to have independence is such a red flag. The parents act like their 16 years old. Their all so codependent on each other
Hell yeah. I love being early.
Edit: I feel like Julia was probably trying to set some boundaries so that she could feel like she had some say in the marriage. As someone who lived with my husband's mother, I can totally get it. Especially when you take into consideration the fact that his mother violated that boundary in such a public way so that Julia would come across as a huge bitch if she were to say something.
If this is a small town where everybody knows everybody, throwing this party when the mother had been asked not to was DEFINITELY an intentional power play showing that Julia has NO say in ANYTHING.
Not to mention that because of the situation (different country/language, covid etc.) there is a chance that Julia hasn't been able to make any local friends yet. It's possible that she and Brandon didn't want to have a party that was supposed to be celebrating both of them equally, but would then only have quests that he knew and would make her feel ostracized.
The parents are mad that they’re losing free help around the farm. Seems like they haven’t prepared their son to be on his own.
Many Family businesses use their children as Slave Labor, especially restaurants.
Correct me if I'm wrong, isn't a "wedding party" just... the reception? Which they already had?
Or the party after that yeah. It's not a birthday party for sure.
Yea. But like the mom does whatever she wants without regard to anyone’s feelings. She wants to control every aspect of her loved ones lives. Not everyone could make it to the wedding I guess so the mom wanted to throw another party
i'd feel so uncomfortable and rude if someone split my wedding party over someone else's birthday party. especially if i asked for someone not to do that. i'd also like to add it's fcking weird they're putting him down for never having responsibility, while being ok with not giving him that responsibility, but expecting him to take over an ENTIRE farm anyway. that shit is not easy.
he can most likely run the farm, that is probably what his dad taught him and why they kept him living at home with no responsibility.
@@michelsealy3782 But he clearly doesn’t want to so again, why are his parents giving him so much flack for wanting leave and live his own life.
@@mrpeach2023 oh I agree, he should be able to do what he wants. They are just trying to stress him into staying home. I'm sure once he gets out he will be fine. She seems very independent I'm sure she can teach him how to budget.
As an adult with sometimes over bearing parents, it's about respect. No matter how many times I say I'm an atheist and don't wish to discuss it, they still try to make me pray with them. It's annoying. I certainly would not be pleased if I went to a party and it turned out to be an entire afternoon of prayer.
My grandmother was similar. Until I sat down with her and explained why I'm an atheist and that praying made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Took a while, but she eventually understood that me being an atheist isn't a slight against her or what she wished for me.
Bruh same, and when you try to tell them it's not cool, they give you a 2 hr lecture on why something bad will happen to you and that none of your achievements are your own because of religion. I def understand why she's mad because I also have the same issue with celebrations and parents forcing it
It might be annoying but it sounds like they care for you.
They just don't want you to go to hell, is it that hard to see it.
"They are totally unprepared" no, brandon is unprepared, because of their shitty parenting. Julia has lived on her own, shes a grown ass woman who could probably provide for Brandon herself
That's why I love Julia, She's NOT after the money or the green card. She had a life, she had a job, she had her own place, she probably had friends and she gave it all up for what is honestly a much WORSE life than the one she's had lol.
I totally get these people being upset over being forced into a party. I don't even go to other people's parties let alone have one myself because I don't like being the center of attention. It's an amxiety/introvert thing. I don't expect you guys to understand tho, you seem very outgoing
Exactly!
I’m an extrovert and I get it. I also have more introverted friends than extroverted, so that may be why I get it
That seems kinda rude to say "you would not understand"
I hate parties to...i don't even go to restaurants to eat cause my anxiety goes through the roof and i can barely focus on my food or the people im eating with...i like my space.
@@TimothyGod How? It's just an observation since they're both outgoing people.
Also Brandons parents “farm” is actually a puppy mill. I dont blame julia for wanting to get away !
Is it actually? what's the source? if so that's horrible.
Not everyone likes parties. Some people have social anxiety. I usually agree with your criticisms, but I think you guys were off the mark with this one.
With home girl’s job, she doesn’t have social anxiety 😂
@@ember13dp in another video Julia said she didn’t want a party because her parents weren’t going to be there :(
I get your point, but it's inconsequential. These people don't have social anxiety. They broadcast their lives in a tlc reality show.
@@ember13dp still though, people have boundaries and they should be respected
You know what's nice? Different people, different opinions and thoughts on things it happens because none of use are completely alike and there's nothing wrong with having different thoughts and feelings on things even if it's with someone with whom you usually agree with on most everything. Funny huh?
The thing about the party is that Brandon's mom probably will use it as emotional blackmail against them in the future in order to get her way.
There was a scene before this taking place where they very, very clearly said no we do not want a party. Some people don't like that sort of attention. The issue here was that the party was 100% not for them, it was for his mom.
If I say to you, "no I do not want my car painted purple." and I come out to my car being painted purple the next day, it's not a nice gesture. It's malicious.
"You're totally unprepared to be an adult!" Yeah cuz y'all keep coddling Brandon and won't let him try and be independent lmaoooo
The mitochondria is the power house of the cell
love him or hate him. This guys is spitting straight facts.
Amen
Tell us more, Dr Crookston
I’m not gonna lie. I would also be extremely upset if someone threw me a party when I told them specifically not to do so. I would most likely leave. I do like parties and I can’t stand surprises.
Well, my stepmom was throwing a party 'cause my dad turned 50 and I'm about to graduate (Literally few assignments and work of seminare left), but made even the invitations basically about herself . Gladly she suddenly got some random COVID fear into her and canceled the whole thing.
She did the same thing for my step-sister (Her own daughter) when she graduated from College and made the party to celebrate how my sister graduated 20 after she graduated.
Did the party stealing thing for my College graduation too 8 years earlier , so maybe it's just a some sort of "mom power-trip" when kids accomplish something lol
I suffer from really bad anxiety, constantly overthinking, always exhausted, can barely hold a conversation with someone but you guys can bring peace to my mind and even if it’s for a few minutes I’m very thankful.
They need more Dr. Phil in their lives. Who's fault they think it is dude isn't prepared to live on his own?
They need to go to doctor phil. the parents, and Brandon. Feel bad for Julia.
@@dannydivito7858 Dr. Phil won’t do shit for them. They need an ACTUAL therapist not some TV host.
Terrible parents I'm sorry. Instead of encouraging and giving advice about being on his own it's like they trap him there.
My father was the same way so I can relate. When I even brought up the topic of moving out... All negative. Ill never forgive him for that.
That sucks man. My stepdad sat down with me when I was moving out, and we just chatted about whether I could handle it financially.
Turns out I had more cash than he did 😂.
Lol mine were trying to get rid of me. Soon as I graduated high school, they were like "Get Out". So I went to the military, I was 17
@@thewoodchipperr im 17 and still going to highschool.. ain't you normally leave when your 18?
It's not about being grateful someone is celebrating you, it's about being thrown into the center of attention of everyone in the room when you don't want to.
Exactly!
theres nothing nice about doing a “nice thing” for someone who has explicitly said they would dislike that thing
Dad is coming down on how the dudes spoiled and hasn't paid a rent bill nor light... but they want him to be responsible for a farm??? Fam... sell it.
It’s the not respecting the fact that he and his wife said no to a party for me. This is just another example of them not respecting him snd his boundaries.
Plus, Betty seems like they type that’d lord it over them that she gave them a party
and the fact that they're mad at Brandon for not wanting to keep the farm is just ridiculous
"Dont call me buddy ,Pal " - Dane 2021
Don’t call me Pal, friend
It's not about a party, it's about them thinking that Brandon and Julia's wishes and opinions on their own lives are of lesser priority than those of his parents' (especially seeing as the guests are mostly the ones for the dad's birthday, there is no one there for Julia). They are being belittled and forced to accept a debt of gratitude, that might then be thrown in your face and used to guilt trip you during arguments or when you are being asked for a favor you don't really want to do. It's a control tactic/method and whatever or not his parents indend it to be such doesn't mean they need to submit to it.
You guys have kept me laughing through a very stressful time, my mom has had a stroke, gone on dialysis, and now has covid and this has all happened in less than 2 months, every day I look forward to your uploads because for 15 or 20 minutes all I have to worry about is not laughing so loud I disturb someone. Thanks guys!
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not religious so can't pray for her, but next time I pour a nice glass, I'll raise it for her.
wishing you and your mom all the best!
I feel a birthday and Wedding should be celebrated separately unless everyone is fine with it
In their defense, the problem wouldn't be the party or attention itself, It'd be the fact that something was explicitly asked not to be done and those wishes were ignored. I think this is indicant of the larger issue at hand.
Julia and Brandon didn't want a wedding party because her family couldn't be there. She thought it was unfair to her family, which is not out of line.
Some kids who were raised on a farm do not want to live the rest of their lives on a farm. Kudos to TLC for finding phucked up families to film, and Kudos to the phucked up families who want to be filmed by TLC! Kudos to Buff and Ken for their phucked up commentary which makes me laugh with every post!
The way the parents treat Brandon is so unsupportive. Yet, they throw a lame party that Brandon and Julia didn’t want. No wonder they were mad, it was fake
I get that they want to pass the farm down but letting him go to experience life would be better then to barrage them with "facts" about how they will struggle.
Brendan's Parents: You're going to need to be an adult, do adult things like paying bills.
Brendan: Tries to be an adult, do adult things like paying bills.
Brendan's Parents; What? How dare you do the things that we should've prepared you for but didn't.
I’ve already seen these episodes but every time I seen you have uploaded I NEED to see it cause it’s so much better with the commentary lmao
I've seen videos pop up before and I intentionally avoid them because the reviews are just so much better.
Dad's "If you think you can do it, you go for it buddy!" has the same energy as "Fine, leave! You think you can find someone better than me?! 😭."
Way to discourage your kid from moving out and starting a life with his wife!!🤦
Father and mother: "you've never done anything in your life"
...
Guess whose fault is that?
I've never seen parents being mad about their children trying to live their lives with their wives/husbands? Like, yeah he may have never done anything before but is it so bad that he wants to try? They are talking like leaving the farm to be on their own is a crime
Moms like how about you say “we want our own space and blablabla”
Homeboy couldn’t think of anything better and he’s like:
“yup yup THAT”
I have extreme anxiety. If someone threw me a surprise party, I'd have a panic attack and it wouldn't go well. Just respect people's wishes.
"I was just making it clap" omg! I spit my drink out when Buff said that.
pewds: floor gang
cinnamontoastken: couch gang
I understand being upset about the “just married” celebration thing.
It’s reminds me of when my parents would throw me a birthday party, and the only people invited were my parents friends. Maybe one of their friends had a kid my age that would tag along, but it mainly consisted of people 30+ years older than me. I would rather do nothing for my birthday vs having to put on a forced smile in front of people I barely know.
Having situations like this thrusted upon you, especially with strangers around to watch and judge you, is extremely uncomfortable and takes away any enjoyment you may have during whatever you may be celebrating.
No, as much as I hate how disrespectful Brandon is to the parents, his mom kinda reminds me of jigsaw (the doll) 😬 maybe its the cheekbones, idk lol
yesssss
It's the manipulation for me
I can’t unsee it now 😂
I cannot shake the fact that mom and dad look related. Idk what it is lol. Then again, it is Virginia lmao.
Not just you, I totally see it 🤣
Honestly, with my anxiety, if someone threw me a party and I didn't know until I showed up, I would probably get pretty nervous. I wouldn't be MAD, per se, and I'd be thankful, but it would throw me for a loop. However, I recognize that this isn't the "usual" response.
The parents though, if he doesn't know how to fend for himself then his parents failed him. They should have given him these skills. It's like the are using free rent to control him.
She should get an onlyfans. 100% she’ll get off the farm.
Plus it won't go again her morals...she never had any.
This aged poorly
@@AlyssaTalks why, did she get one? Or is it because they got an apartment?
@@fakebobbyhill296 No only fans updated what’s allowed on their site and sexual stuff is no longer allowed
@@AlyssaTalks ooooh that’s why some dude on my facebook said they will be out of business by the end of the year. lol. That makes sense now. Unless they get more celebs in there.
Still waiting for those Buff vs. Brandon tickets and for Ken to be the match commentator. 😂
"Buff pro knocked the crap out of brandon, he doesn't look like he's getting up, the couch threw in the towel! That's the game ladies and gentlemen."
1:30 "that cake would look like Hell Raiser"
That was hilarious, Dane!
Depending on the size of the farm, the water bill on a decent sized one can be pretty expensive. I worked on a farm for a few years. It's really easy to go through thousands and thousands of gallons in just a few days depending on the season.
That interviewer was super nice, really professional!! ☺️
I get where you guys are coming from with the whole party being a nice gesture, but there are A LOT of people who don't like surprises.. They're legitimately stressful for some
"I'm swingin on the next guy that calls me 'buddy'!"
Canadians: sweat nervously
this deserves more likes
Ken and buff you guys are amazing I look forward to every upload thanks for all the laughs stay blessed! 🙏
I honestly love Brandon's parent's, they are super lovely and happy in love!
It's about boundaries. We went through a lot with my in laws, well MIL, surrounding our wedding/party and not respecting any of our decisions & choices. In the end she threatened her entire side of the family so they would not attend the small event we did have, and they didn't come themselves. I get where Julia and Brandon are coming from.
Best part of waking up... is seeing Ken uploaded, watching, and going back to sleep
id get slapped so fast for talking to my mom the way brandon talks to his mom 💀
The most controlling thing a control freak can do is something "nice" for someone.
Oh yes, oh ho ho ho, yes. Thank you. So many people dont understand this that it isnt funny. They do something nice that most people would think was out of the kindness of their hearts and use it as leverage to make sure that you do what they want you do do by guilt tripping you about it.
Technically he did pay once when he previously moved out. So I guess he was telling the truth when he said he'd payed bills before.
This is the most emotionally invested in something I have seen Brandon...like ever...😂
Oof ken. This is like the first time that I think you’re roasting the wrong person. They set boundaries and mom is always crossing them. It’s not about the party. It’s that Brandon’s mom does whatever she wants and doesn’t respect anyone else’s wishes or needs
I think that man was very nice enough to let Julia know about the certifications needed to teach classes, coming from another whole other country that was much needed info
I can sympathise with not wanting a party. I get anxious a lot and I told my mother please don’t throw a party for my 18th and she did it anyway and i walked in and there was so many people in the house shouting surprise and it hated it so much.
This is the only time I have to back entirely on agreeing with you guys. If I ask "Do not bring people together and have them put their attention on me for a celebration." - I expect they don't. If they do? I'm not there. I will leave. Sucks to be whoever threw it together. I am not taking gifts, money or anything. My one wish for anything - stop firing up my anxiety, awkwardness and need for space. If I'd rather avoid a million dollars so I can not be there, I'd expect people to think for a moment. "Hell... They REALLY don't want this. There may be an a good reason."
I'm really happy you guy's keep making awesome videos together
Them saying you’ve never paid a bill is a ridiculous reason to NOT move out.
Also they make “The Farm” sound like a cult
Imma need someone to tell Julia about Onlyfans tbh
Imagine them MOVES
The part with the dance moves was my favorite.😂
"Ma'am, this is an audition for 'The Sound of Music'."
That dance instructor has some crazy brows, looks like he is just shocked at every moment.
As someone who lives in a big farming community I can tell you that the next generation do not want to be farmers. We’re experiencing huge growth in our area because people are selling off their farms and land. But hey… we’re getting and Dunkin Doughnuts and a Chipotle Grill😁
These videos are helping me through Australias lock down ❤️😍