Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa's Feelings?

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 13 кві 2008
  • In The Know panelists discuss whether we should spare Africa's feelings by not telling them about the global economy.
    More coverage at: onion.com
  • Розваги

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,3 тис.

  • @clyvelawrence8820
    @clyvelawrence8820 5 років тому +20269

    “The whole country-the whole continent” subtle...

    • @jacobrickayzen2744
      @jacobrickayzen2744 4 роки тому +48

      evylC i dont get it

    • @jokuvaan5175
      @jokuvaan5175 4 роки тому +2244

      @@jacobrickayzen2744 Quite a few Americans think that Africa is just one country.

    • @jacobrickayzen2744
      @jacobrickayzen2744 4 роки тому +159

      @@jokuvaan5175 Oh thanks! I actually reckoned that too lol

    • @Tom-2142
      @Tom-2142 4 роки тому +294

      Jacob Rickayzen ...

    • @wendystwitter7199
      @wendystwitter7199 4 роки тому +177

      Jami they were all taught the continents in school so it has nothing to do with them being American

  • @AstralSandwich
    @AstralSandwich 10 років тому +19440

    "The stick market is in complete free-fall"
    Brilliant!

    • @eyezbaby1
      @eyezbaby1 6 років тому +54

      Stick market.. is complete free fall.. these bunch of idiots... are they really humans ?? Clones!! Electricity ? Come on idiots ... Africa still uses hydroelectric power mostly... stick market?? Jerks who chews on a stick...

    • @williamzhao2521
      @williamzhao2521 5 років тому +20

      stick market - us dollar market.

    • @ReddoFreddo
      @ReddoFreddo 5 років тому +259

      @@eyezbaby1 r/whoosh

    • @SPEARHEADGLOBAL
      @SPEARHEADGLOBAL 5 років тому +8

      This is the ryt to to invest in stick stock exchange

    • @teratoma.
      @teratoma. 5 років тому +87

      @@eyezbaby1 1 year later and no one really told u but this is fake my man

  • @ozzyfromspace
    @ozzyfromspace 4 роки тому +20670

    I’m an African, and I tried really hard to just have a good time with their satire. It was tough but in the end I got through it. Tbh the panelist was right, we’re facing the worst *stick*-market recession in years. I might lose everything.
    *And by that, I mean sticks.*

    • @ozzyfromspace
      @ozzyfromspace 4 роки тому +804

      @UsirRaMaroon I'm a simple man, it's Acacia sticks for me, all day everyday 😂

    • @Mngalahad
      @Mngalahad 4 роки тому +489

      i recommend to invest on ETFs that replicate the summer time stick index, as they have their highest growth at the end of spring. sell them there.

    • @randomorange6807
      @randomorange6807 4 роки тому +120

      Don't do that- don't make me crack up so much

    • @menib7574
      @menib7574 4 роки тому +164

      Hey look at the bright side, whether or not you fail, that's a whole new start right there.
      So don't be such a stick in the mud

    • @physical_insanity
      @physical_insanity 4 роки тому +122

      Damn man, sounds like rough shit. Hope you make it through all right. If you need some alternative, I heard the mud and grass-thatch market is starting to get on it's feet, so if you need to bail for a new market, they've got you.

  • @HarukiYamamoto
    @HarukiYamamoto 3 роки тому +3367

    As an African, I feel extremely insulted by this. I have been selling my oil for sticks but can't find an American willing to accept my sticks for plumbing pipes.

    • @orangequill1645
      @orangequill1645 2 роки тому +82

      Simple,sell your oil for plumbing pipes

    • @acecollinson749
      @acecollinson749 2 роки тому +32

      @@orangequill1645 I hassle is real my brother I just started putting goats inside the stick's to make this interesting

    • @heli0s101
      @heli0s101 2 роки тому +3

      Self-hating African selling out their culture for plumbing.

    • @SinaAla
      @SinaAla Рік тому +43

      Americans don’t know the value of good sticks :(

    • @porkcutlet3920
      @porkcutlet3920 Рік тому +4

      @@orangequill1645 That's genius.

  • @Gangstabob716
    @Gangstabob716 7 років тому +10578

    God forbid we show them doorknobs....

    • @TheDreadXxXx
      @TheDreadXxXx 7 років тому +404

      Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down, before we show them doorknobs we have to introduce them to the concept of a door. Cmon buddy use your head we don't want to start continent wide panic!

    • @MrGraciuz
      @MrGraciuz 6 років тому +28

      Hahaha...We had golden doorknobs while you cave men were still creeping around on all four limbs until we introduce you to civilization. You stole our everything and now act like you know it all. Bitch you ain't shit!!! I would've loved for this shit to last. But I'll end this shit with a fuck you and have nice day. CAVEMEN!!!

    • @tawandaburton831
      @tawandaburton831 6 років тому +4

      Grasswa Basson ♥

    • @scienceandmusic4295
      @scienceandmusic4295 6 років тому +76

      Grasswa Basson Joke
      Woosh
      Your head

    • @MrGraciuz
      @MrGraciuz 6 років тому +2

      HAHAHA

  • @jeremiahbrand5430
    @jeremiahbrand5430 9 років тому +20140

    "The main thing is we don't want to rob them of their culture. We don't want to introduce things like plumbing, electricity and housing and doorknobs." 😂😂😂😂 IM DYING!!! HAHAHAHA

    • @charsfm5203
      @charsfm5203 6 років тому +1422

      "It would be much more difficult to exploit them"

    • @juanitadudley4788
      @juanitadudley4788 6 років тому +54

      Jeremiah Brand doorknobs

    • @ultrakool
      @ultrakool 6 років тому +30

      you racist f#(ks. as if they couldn't prosper without world banking interest interference?

    • @ultrakool
      @ultrakool 6 років тому +18

      K D your brain cells are in complete free fall

    • @HooDatDonDar
      @HooDatDonDar 6 років тому +222

      Certainly. One culture is as good as another. Especially in their treatment of women. That’s why I live in Rwanda, rather than a Park Avenue penthouse.

  • @thoumotherdearest9041
    @thoumotherdearest9041 3 роки тому +1017

    My dad is an immigrant from Nigeria and he reportedly cried profusely when he found out there was no child soldiers in Colorado.

    • @E4439Qv5
      @E4439Qv5 2 роки тому +46

      None that they want you to know about.

    • @sharonbrookes1188
      @sharonbrookes1188 Рік тому +20

      What about child politicians?

    • @stellarwind1946
      @stellarwind1946 Рік тому +66

      The situation there seems pretty complex.

    • @chiefkief222
      @chiefkief222 Рік тому +43

      @@stellarwind1946 there's just so many factors at play

    • @zurielsss
      @zurielsss Рік тому

      Does Child school shooters count?

  • @majozichongo3952
    @majozichongo3952 3 роки тому +440

    'how many sticks does one need' as an African I would warn you to not infringe on our second amendment the right to own and bear sticks.

    • @johnlevin4567
      @johnlevin4567 2 роки тому +20

      Okay, but can you recognize that owning sticks can harm children?

    • @lorimorgan7279
      @lorimorgan7279 2 роки тому +37

      @@johnlevin4567 Actually a majority of supposed stick crime was done with branches.

    • @davidklaube497
      @davidklaube497 2 роки тому +21

      @@lorimorgan7279 Which is exactly the Reason why normal People should be allowed to buy and own the Far more effektive Logs to protect themselves and their Familys.

    • @Core-Poration
      @Core-Poration 2 роки тому

      7

    • @laika6661
      @laika6661 2 роки тому +16

      @@davidklaube497 Log ownership seems quite excessive. Such military grade equipment should be kept for national defence.

  • @ericverster4069
    @ericverster4069 7 років тому +9146

    "It would make it much more difficult to exploit them."
    This is a supposed to be a satirical network but they always have the truth in there somewhere. Kind of like South Park.

    • @AtlasReburdened
      @AtlasReburdened 7 років тому +310

      Only jesters and mad men are allowed to speak the truth.

    • @anonb4632
      @anonb4632 6 років тому +485

      Erm that's what satire's about.

    • @HooDatDonDar
      @HooDatDonDar 6 років тому +12

      Or someone’s idea of the truth.

    • @eagled2000
      @eagled2000 6 років тому +172

      Because that’s what satire is

    • @Micho55
      @Micho55 6 років тому +32

      had me until the last sentence lol

  • @CoffeeSnep
    @CoffeeSnep 5 років тому +6756

    My old high school history teacher told us a story of the time he went to Africa.
    A lot of the people there, especially the children and teens, asked him how many guns he owned, how many people he's killed, etc. They had all their information about America from watching old action movies made decades before, and assumed the whole country was like that.

    • @CoffeeSnep
      @CoffeeSnep 5 років тому +695

      @Tatsujiro Kurogane oh, I never said their assumption was wrong.

    • @angel-ke9vs
      @angel-ke9vs 4 роки тому +562

      Nah, its because all we see on the news about America is police shooting unarmed people and mass shootings. And people arguing about gun laws.

    • @audreykoskei4072
      @audreykoskei4072 4 роки тому +201

      Now we just assume America is like that because of our Netflix subscriptions.😂

    • @Nedyiesh
      @Nedyiesh 4 роки тому +4

      Baloney...Get a life!

    • @randomorange6807
      @randomorange6807 4 роки тому +72

      It isnt?

  • @SamTheSubSaharan
    @SamTheSubSaharan 4 роки тому +1814

    I was having an empty plate for breakfast when I watched this! As an African I have to say this is so disrespectful! It almost made me spit out the air I was chewing on!

  • @ramentaco9179
    @ramentaco9179 4 роки тому +746

    "The whole country- the whole continent"
    Omfg the onion is too real

  • @danielrabinovitz478
    @danielrabinovitz478 5 років тому +6851

    I love how the bald guy with the glasses authored a book called "The Six Worst Continents." Little details like that are why I love the Onion ^_^

    • @nintendo9231889
      @nintendo9231889 5 років тому +78

      He's also in the Sonic drive in commercials

    • @dinosaurusrex1482
      @dinosaurusrex1482 4 роки тому +11

      There's only 6 continents

    • @cathalevans6754
      @cathalevans6754 4 роки тому +94

      Dinosaurus Rex that is the joke...

    • @jamesh1866
      @jamesh1866 4 роки тому +126

      @@dinosaurusrex1482 well a lot of people claim 7, North America, South America, Africa, Europe, Asia, Australasia and Antarctica. But it sounds like this book considers there to be 6 and is joking that all continents are terrible.

    • @kevintrang3007
      @kevintrang3007 4 роки тому +51

      Antarctica best continent!

  • @raikou8784
    @raikou8784 6 років тому +3347

    *”It* *would* *make* *it* *much* *more* *difficult* *to* *exploit* *them”* 😂

    • @lancelotkillz
      @lancelotkillz 5 років тому +4

      Stay away from africs

    • @lancelotkillz
      @lancelotkillz 5 років тому +2

      Africa

    • @sunnzo2467
      @sunnzo2467 4 роки тому +10

      African's don't even know who you are.

    • @mardukgilgamesh1500
      @mardukgilgamesh1500 4 роки тому +1

      @@lancelotkillz mami africa :)

    • @mardukgilgamesh1500
      @mardukgilgamesh1500 4 роки тому +6

      @Th3Aggr3ssiv3 Cons3rvativ3 hell throw a stick at u and then he wont be able to buy dirt to feed his family :c

  • @belalabusultan5911
    @belalabusultan5911 3 роки тому +3976

    their economy is so bad, even a prince 🤴 from there asked me for money 💸to get back home.
    I feel sad ☹
    edit: added emojis, and this is a joke.

    • @nicholaschristodoulou3821
      @nicholaschristodoulou3821 3 роки тому +39

      I got your joke😂

    • @zathary564
      @zathary564 3 роки тому +22

      did you give him your money?

    • @belalabusultan5911
      @belalabusultan5911 3 роки тому +116

      @@zathary564
      yes, but I sent the money on a carriage, drawn by 2 snails :P

    • @awdrifter3394
      @awdrifter3394 3 роки тому +87

      Nah, he's sending me millions right after I sent him these Steam gift cards. I guess he just loves gaming.

    • @_LEONKING_
      @_LEONKING_ 3 роки тому +22

      @@awdrifter3394 mfs really be like "I'm stranded and need to borrow money, please buy me some *Playstation plus* "

  • @muhammedakinyemi7560
    @muhammedakinyemi7560 3 роки тому +327

    I'm an African with Internet and I must say that this is the worst thing that has happened to us. Now we have young children who don't want to climb trees or hunt tigers. We have people talking about investing sticks. Take your Internet away.

    • @redhen2470
      @redhen2470 3 роки тому +10

      Pretty funny, except there's no tigers in Africa.

    • @muhammedakinyemi7560
      @muhammedakinyemi7560 3 роки тому +25

      @@redhen2470 you're fun at parties

    • @Iosaiv
      @Iosaiv Рік тому

      Yeah

    • @_zoid
      @_zoid 9 місяців тому +10

      ⁠​⁠@@redhen2470Because the young children hunted them all to extinction. There’s also no trees for them to climb due to massive demand in the stick market. It’s a sad time to be a young child in Africa.

  • @salscomfort3993
    @salscomfort3993 8 років тому +3670

    something they can chew on..... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
    On a serious note someone asked my mom "if I go with you to Kenya should I take my mobile phone... I mean can I charge it?"
    My mom was like "well we will have to drive 7 hours to Uganda to have it charged".
    She believed my mom

    • @lasarthe
      @lasarthe 8 років тому +8

      +Salome Tjallinks hahaha

    • @yogeshrathi2120
      @yogeshrathi2120 6 років тому +239

      Ya it's funny
      Even when most of the public transport in Kenya is being run by electric vehicles!

    • @BrustinNikolai
      @BrustinNikolai 6 років тому +118

      Yogesh Rathi yeah electric buses funded by chinaaaa

    • @CoorDaLoor
      @CoorDaLoor 5 років тому +52

      I actually seriously wanna know the answer to this. wouldn't alot of parts of kenya be so underdeveloped that they don't have electricity or even cell coverage?

    • @xcoldbloom
      @xcoldbloom 5 років тому +54

      i think the joke is that they're going to rob the phone and maybe kill the owner

  • @schlomomcgoldstein4379
    @schlomomcgoldstein4379 8 років тому +6409

    How many sticks does one person really need? LOL

  • @objectivemillennial2117
    @objectivemillennial2117 4 роки тому +1309

    this is leaked footage of the leaders of colonial empires in the 19th century

    • @RetractedandRedacted
      @RetractedandRedacted 3 роки тому +38

      It was released when it was because Britain didn't want the rest of the world to feel bad that we had news TV.

    • @youtuvi7452
      @youtuvi7452 3 роки тому +1

      Underrated comment

    • @hoagielamp6543
      @hoagielamp6543 3 роки тому +8

      @@youtuvi7452 Berlin conference wasn't until the late 19th century, maybe he hasn't got likes cause he's off.

    • @matthewstuckenbruck5834
      @matthewstuckenbruck5834 3 роки тому +3

      @@hoagielamp6543 Meh, century names are stupid. We should just call them by the first two numbers.

    • @frankmerker630
      @frankmerker630 3 роки тому

      And the last few seconds of the clip is what they are asking themselves today

  • @nii_amart
    @nii_amart 4 роки тому +2318

    As an African (Ghanaian), this is actually hilarious and the last statement was perfect.....
    and yeah we do need those Fisher Price mining tools though...lol

    • @yougothere6000
      @yougothere6000 4 роки тому +13

      The last statement is not true though. Was simply brought up in order to protect themselves against politically correct censorship.

    • @martinch0
      @martinch0 4 роки тому +167

      @@yougothere6000 Yeah politically correct censorship from 2008??? What do you mean is not true? Look up Neocolonialism.

    • @nyhyl
      @nyhyl 4 роки тому +64

      @@yougothere6000 Yeah that would be unconvenient to be true, right? It must be the zionist reptiles with their politically correct criticism why this was put in there, I agree.

    • @randomorange6807
      @randomorange6807 4 роки тому +3

      @Ezio Auditore hey hey what about me i find it funny too :(

    • @rusitoexplorador
      @rusitoexplorador 4 роки тому

      I kinda like your president

  • @TheGunzyman
    @TheGunzyman 5 років тому +3878

    I love old Onion vids. The recent ones just aren't the same to me

    • @v8Buster87
      @v8Buster87 5 років тому +113

      unless it's Peter Rosenthal lol he is still out there killing it.

    • @roberttucker1527
      @roberttucker1527 5 років тому +117

      Leftists make me SICK

    • @mydadscrazy7112
      @mydadscrazy7112 5 років тому +3

      TheGunzyman true

    • @livelaughlove0209
      @livelaughlove0209 5 років тому +14

      Clickhole is the old Onion

    • @getcrack4me
      @getcrack4me 5 років тому +119

      This was when they had the "Onion News Network" on IFC. No budget now...

  • @purplefloyd1513
    @purplefloyd1513 Рік тому +210

    One thing I really love about these Onion episodes that tends to get overlooked is how all these debate panels are just everyone agreeing and reassuring eachother.

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 10 місяців тому +16

      so-called debate panels, indeed.

    • @patrickshaw8187
      @patrickshaw8187 9 місяців тому

      @@maazkalim Americans have been trained to think these propaganda hews outlets are debating.

    • @nyctomint
      @nyctomint 8 місяців тому

      @@patrickshaw8187 this is a satire news site.

    • @Weirdisjustabrownandyellowword
      @Weirdisjustabrownandyellowword 8 місяців тому +1

      Not all of them. What about the Halloween one?

    • @ciggystardust99
      @ciggystardust99 4 місяці тому

      Or the one about skanks

  • @lindokuhlehlophe2837
    @lindokuhlehlophe2837 3 роки тому +741

    I'm African and I'm hurt
    There's no famine in Kansas!??

    • @richhartnell6233
      @richhartnell6233 3 роки тому +64

      The mainstream media won’t report on the famine in Kansas or the civil war in New Mexico. Do not believe their lies!

    • @chongahloi69
      @chongahloi69 3 роки тому +2

      @@richhartnell6233 antifa

    • @soliel5680
      @soliel5680 3 роки тому +5

      @@richhartnell6233 As a New Mexican, the uranium mining and processing has gotten outta control, and the civil war is 1 step away form going nuclear.

    • @mariuszfurman4767
      @mariuszfurman4767 3 роки тому +3

      Old Onions videos aren't sitire but prophecy. 😉

  • @user-bc9ve4sc1c
    @user-bc9ve4sc1c 3 роки тому +192

    As an African (Tunisian) this is one of my favorite onion videos
    And yes our culture doesn't have doorknobs, and I'm afraid the mine workers will start attacking the rest of the people if we become in charge

    • @MouhibBayounes
      @MouhibBayounes 9 місяців тому

      Maya7koch 3ala tounes houma 😂

    • @lolasdm6959
      @lolasdm6959 9 місяців тому

      @Matt-he7om To exploit the market vaccum we can sell sharpened sticks, 100% more effective at maiming. I am going to trade mark it in the Republic of Africa now.

    • @ImNotaRussianBot
      @ImNotaRussianBot 9 місяців тому +1

      Well, we need to ship out those Fisher Price mining too kits to really get Africa on its feet, ya know?

  • @josephstalin6549
    @josephstalin6549 6 років тому +1456

    Africa should bundle their sticks together. Strength in Unity! Viva!

  • @lol101lol101lol10199
    @lol101lol101lol10199 5 років тому +3579

    I'm offensive and I find this African

    • @XxRaceRCxX
      @XxRaceRCxX 5 років тому +21

      @1113 Cntrl yikers

    • @apopheniapareidolia
      @apopheniapareidolia 5 років тому +18

      So, so, so good. Thank you, person/bot for this comment.

    • @cocopus
      @cocopus 4 роки тому +16

      funny original comment. so so so xd funny 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌👌

    • @hydraulichydra8363
      @hydraulichydra8363 4 роки тому +8

      Nice profile pic, bro

    • @aadisethu
      @aadisethu 4 роки тому +35

      Hi offensive, I’m dad

  • @tyleralmquist7606
    @tyleralmquist7606 2 роки тому +47

    That little nod at the end agreeing that it would make it much harder to exploit them if we helped them was absolutely brilliant

  • @devendraveerkar6276
    @devendraveerkar6276 2 роки тому +603

    This sketch ends with "It would make it much more difficult to exploit them" and this still sums up most of the world's Africa policy even today.. Onion, take a bow

    • @fredriks5090
      @fredriks5090 2 роки тому +5

      It is a dog-eat-dog world out there.
      Don't reveal your buried bones to a starving dog, - the bone won't save him anyway.

    • @cameronschyuder9034
      @cameronschyuder9034 2 роки тому +7

      @@fredriks5090 Bone won't give dog food but can give dog motivation to not die and become a pile of bones

    • @discordlexia2429
      @discordlexia2429 2 роки тому

      @@fredriks5090 Don't share any of your grotesquely obscene hoarded wealth stolen from all over the world with people who are literally starving, you mean.

    • @randomm928
      @randomm928 Рік тому

      @@fredriks5090 nah bruh the world literally took away all of africa's bones and then churned up political turmoil to take away every single scrap of bone and then left them to fare for themselves, you think the worst thing we did to them was not giving them bones??

    • @AthelstanKing
      @AthelstanKing 9 місяців тому

      What's funny is before any whites got to africa, africa was already exploiting itself and selling each other into the arab slave trade. They love exploitation because it gives them something to blame not inventing the wheel on.

  • @user-dq6hs4ry6z
    @user-dq6hs4ry6z 6 років тому +680

    I love africa, toto is the best

  • @danielmatthews5759
    @danielmatthews5759 5 років тому +237

    "should we shut off the electricity?"... welcome to south africa

    • @lifeissobeautiful6404
      @lifeissobeautiful6404 3 роки тому +2

      @@larrystalinski69 Indeed😅

    • @hazukichanx408
      @hazukichanx408 3 роки тому +3

      *Sooth Effrickehh

    • @78XT500
      @78XT500 3 роки тому +2

      Electricity? Oh yes, thats the stuff we used to use for lighting before candles. I remember those days.

    • @johnfrench6564
      @johnfrench6564 2 роки тому

      I thought South Africa was like one of the better countries on the continent

    • @Diesel436
      @Diesel436 2 роки тому

      @@johnfrench6564 it was in apartheid

  • @Nate-wf5hk
    @Nate-wf5hk 3 роки тому +90

    This is unironically how western media views Africa, brilliant satire from the onion, as all ways

  • @Timothymukansi
    @Timothymukansi 4 роки тому +142

    "It would make it much more difficult to exploit them"
    What an ending

    • @OilFreak
      @OilFreak 2 роки тому

      No time to think, just *outro*

  • @RedprintBobcat
    @RedprintBobcat 5 років тому +1765

    I sure hope 2018 doesn't discover this.

  • @baller84milw
    @baller84milw 11 років тому +95

    189 Africans just found out there's no famine in Kansas.

  • @ericg4915
    @ericg4915 4 роки тому +60

    What's ironic is this was made a matter of weeks before the great recession

  • @Iosaiv
    @Iosaiv Рік тому +15

    The beautiful thing about sticks is you can break them and have twice as many👍.❤

  • @andrewolesen8773
    @andrewolesen8773 5 років тому +632

    Lots of Africans getting upset. Well as a Canadian, I think I'll be throwing the last log on the fire then hitting the hay tonight, starting to get chilly in these igloos. My dog sled almost didn't start this morning!!!

    • @BorrieBeats
      @BorrieBeats 5 років тому +14

      It's that him carey sketch when people found out he was from Canada and every response was. "....Wow must be pretty cold"
      "Yes...It was a hard winter. Nuntak and I built a shelter...to protect ourselves."

    • @ninototo1
      @ninototo1 5 років тому +66

      Poor Candians.. I can't believe how cold it must be there. And dangerous, what with the bears and wolves and all. I'm glad to be german. Beer, sausages, genocide.. what more could I ask for?

    • @fabulousdolphin4221
      @fabulousdolphin4221 5 років тому +30

      @@ninototo1 genocide is the gift that keeps on giving.

    • @lewisdean22
      @lewisdean22 5 років тому +3

      @@ninototo1 are we talking cultural genocide folks

    • @gregoryglass9040
      @gregoryglass9040 5 років тому +3

      That's is funny and Canada is better then america your too cool fr

  • @MrSanjayV
    @MrSanjayV 7 років тому +130

    Most realistic news report Ive ever seen. Lets Make the Onion Great Again.

    • @edhuber3557
      @edhuber3557 3 роки тому +7

      Got my MOGA hat ready!

    • @Iosaiv
      @Iosaiv Рік тому +1

      @@edhuber3557 Ofrica?

  • @loutisharc6292
    @loutisharc6292 4 роки тому +86

    I’d be willing to pay 29 sticks a month for more of this journalism

  • @derciobene3458
    @derciobene3458 3 роки тому +42

    I thought this was supposed to be satirical. I've had people try to tell me all of those things, as if we deal sticks and rocks for a living. smh. But can't blame them tho, media portrays the continent like a single country with a single culture living in absolute poverty, without even food to feed ourselves or any type of city whatsoever.

    • @jimhalpert9803
      @jimhalpert9803 3 роки тому

      @@derciobene3458 for oil or assault rifles?

    • @dopaminecloud
      @dopaminecloud 2 роки тому +6

      I believe (and hope) that as more cultures move into the online sphere we will all benefit from a wider perspective on the world. The media can only convey caricature.

    • @AsiaMinor12
      @AsiaMinor12 Рік тому

      ​​@@dopaminecloudnope. As more people start living their lives on the internet, people will become more out of touch with reality and radicalized. It's been happening in most countries with mass usage of the internet.

  • @v8Buster87
    @v8Buster87 5 років тому +199

    fisher price mining tools lol

  • @stephaniecarrow4898
    @stephaniecarrow4898 Рік тому +5

    The last line was the clincher that says it all. After all their rationalizing bs, the truth comes out. Brilliant.

  • @emmarina3525
    @emmarina3525 3 роки тому +15

    African (Egyptian) here
    Tbh the plumbing and electricity sort of break on their own every week so... :/
    Something to chew on would be nice while we wait for the yellow water to turn clear

  • @lucifermorningstar3709
    @lucifermorningstar3709 3 роки тому +30

    The random cough here and there, and the panelists talking over each other, just makes this seem so freaking realistic, it hurts

  • @blindsight_music_
    @blindsight_music_ 4 роки тому +12

    As an African, I can confirm, our feelings are very much hurt.

  • @JamesMakoni
    @JamesMakoni 7 років тому +8

    I'm from Africa. and this is funny as fuck... holy shit my sides...!!

  • @markodjuric4282
    @markodjuric4282 3 роки тому +8

    Where have I been when I am only now finding out about OnionTV. This channel is a beautiful masterpiece!

  • @TheDarkever
    @TheDarkever 4 роки тому +53

    "I wouldn't mind introducing Fisher Price mining tools, so they don't hurt themselves" said in serious voice. Priceless xD

    • @boxofcans461
      @boxofcans461 2 роки тому +1

      Love the serious jokes ❤️

    • @zayzay4405
      @zayzay4405 2 роки тому +2

      @@boxofcans461 Foreal. This is gold. The onion is perfect.

    • @KINGSOMALIA
      @KINGSOMALIA Рік тому +1

      LMAO

  • @StarboyXL9
    @StarboyXL9 5 років тому +52

    Unlike some of you, I get my news from a reliable source! The Onion!

  • @SanaZub
    @SanaZub 2 роки тому +3

    the fischer price bit kILLED ME LMFAOOOOOOO "something to chew on" BGHHFHF

  • @ariadnegmusdaedaloximo708
    @ariadnegmusdaedaloximo708 3 роки тому +6

    Whoever named this The Onion, should be rewarded in "layers" of wealth! Because layers of ingenuity is what this network has!

  • @rivashanmolefi7326
    @rivashanmolefi7326 Рік тому +6

    "It would make it much more difficult to exploit them"
    Perfect end

  • @johnomara849
    @johnomara849 5 років тому +33

    “The whole continent . . . is like hospice” 😂😂😂😂

  • @BillChanhkcom
    @BillChanhkcom 4 роки тому +81

    How many sticks does one person really need?
    Me: a minecrafter: yes

    • @clouddoge5560
      @clouddoge5560 4 роки тому +2

      Bill Chan but now they need diamonds too bad the companies own all the mines

    • @MK_ULTRA420
      @MK_ULTRA420 4 роки тому

      Dog: woof (yes)

    • @EinFelsbrocken
      @EinFelsbrocken 4 роки тому

      Yes (Yes)

    • @HereIAm247
      @HereIAm247 3 роки тому

      Great for practically free emeralds!

  • @pokemongo-up3rq
    @pokemongo-up3rq Рік тому +5

    "Fisher Price mining tools, something they can chew on."
    Lel😂

  • @EmeraldHero
    @EmeraldHero 4 роки тому +46

    “*Duncan Birch*
    Author, ‘The Six Worst Continents’” 0:28

  • @gaborszabo80
    @gaborszabo80 5 років тому +59

    After 11 years, I'm sure glad the New Mexico civil war is over. 😆

  • @roberttucker1527
    @roberttucker1527 5 років тому +20

    THIS IS PURE GOLD

  • @que_93
    @que_93 2 роки тому

    The ending line says it more, and says everything. Absolutely brilliant!!! The creativity at Onion is just mind-blowing!!!

  • @chiarifairy6862
    @chiarifairy6862 3 роки тому +36

    I absolutely loved this, but I hate how I could actually imagine someone makes the argument "we don't want to rob them of their culture ... we don't want to introduce plumbing, and electricity, and housing, and doorknobs, because that's gonna take away what it means to be inherently African"

  • @mikedamon8685
    @mikedamon8685 Рік тому +4

    " something they can chew on"....I peed myself laughing

  • @fish_6807
    @fish_6807 5 років тому +50

    FISHER PRICE MINING TOOLS... SOMETHING THEY CAN CHEW ON LMAOOOOO

  • @Tee-vq3mv
    @Tee-vq3mv 4 роки тому +17

    The casting director of "the onion" deserves 2 Oscars.

  • @miamitten1123
    @miamitten1123 Рік тому +4

    _”That they can chew on”_
    Come on....staaaap!

  • @solomonpriest8387
    @solomonpriest8387 8 років тому +65

    Hahahahahahahaha, LOL.Ey Murica, I love your work man, I love your work.
    Kind regards:
    Africa.

    • @sunnzo2467
      @sunnzo2467 4 роки тому

      I'm starting to think you're not really Africa at all..

  • @cbbattlestar
    @cbbattlestar 8 років тому +564

    wow! we africans sure don't know how to take a joke.......fisher price mining equipment......love it......LOL

    • @denki2558
      @denki2558 6 років тому +2

      now its 96

    • @jaydonturner882
      @jaydonturner882 5 років тому +2

      @@denki2558 now it's 112

    • @nintendo9231889
      @nintendo9231889 5 років тому +3

      Apparently Bob the builder is now too sexist. We'll send his sister to Africa.

    • @StephGrobler1
      @StephGrobler1 5 років тому

      You are South African tho ..

    • @gregoryglass9040
      @gregoryglass9040 5 років тому

      We black people in America know africans are really intelligent even the white ones too the joke is on us you good air bounty of plants animals undiscovered animals plants other raw and rare resources we wish you would use it wisely and take care of each other and not let the world dictates how you should live with love and respect your America brotha

  • @TheRealMEEDABEE
    @TheRealMEEDABEE 4 роки тому +4

    The best part about all this is that there are actually people like this out there

  • @sebastian-benedictflore
    @sebastian-benedictflore 4 роки тому +7

    "It would make it much more difficult to exploit them."
    That was too much loooool. She said it OUTRIGHT

  • @kirani111
    @kirani111 4 роки тому +7

    “It would make it much more difficult to exploit them”
    *other anchors wisely nodding in approval*

  • @zeigbert1743
    @zeigbert1743 4 роки тому +6

    Doorknobs are the pinnacle of Western civilization.

  • @arnabiarnab3037
    @arnabiarnab3037 3 роки тому +37

    As an African this was so offensive....... that it was beautiful 😂😂

  • @JaySuschrist
    @JaySuschrist 4 роки тому +1

    I love how the host did this little smile after the first line. She was just trying to hold it back.

  • @jarahfluxman20
    @jarahfluxman20 5 років тому +31

    We africans certainly find doornobs a mystery. Just yesterday I tried opening a door and was mystified at how you have to turn the nob.

  • @shutupgays
    @shutupgays 3 роки тому +35

    As an African, im really hurt y'all lied to us. Really disappointed in u guys :(

    • @nikolajrasmussen9573
      @nikolajrasmussen9573 3 роки тому +10

      But you have to see it from our perspective. It would have been much more difficult to exploit you if we didn't...

  • @higherthanusual1897
    @higherthanusual1897 3 роки тому +5

    Why is this at the end of EDEN’s album😪

    • @osaiha5913
      @osaiha5913 2 роки тому

      Bc he hates capitalism maybe idk

  • @juampyvarela
    @juampyvarela 2 роки тому +4

    She just said it at the end.

  • @JEGNAW
    @JEGNAW 3 роки тому +6

    I'm African and I find this very funny

    • @osaiha5913
      @osaiha5913 2 роки тому

      Good it shows how your country was raped by imperialist power for their own economic system (capitalism) to keep a section of the human population in a perpetual state of dis order to exploit their labor for profit for business owners and not for the people that make that value happen in the first place

  • @HaTran-lp6hf
    @HaTran-lp6hf 4 роки тому +7

    This was made 11 years ago but I feel like it’s happening right now

  • @youarenowawarepodcast8896
    @youarenowawarepodcast8896 4 роки тому +3

    I just discovered The Onions videos, and I absolutely love this. Their videos are so funny

  • @garmezon9502
    @garmezon9502 Рік тому +7

    the great country of africa

  • @hannibalbarca6308
    @hannibalbarca6308 4 роки тому +14

    Cant believe this is still on youtube 😅🤣😂

    • @castle9165
      @castle9165 4 роки тому +6

      I'm pretty sure the joke is that these people are being incredibly patronising.

    • @bruceusername
      @bruceusername 3 роки тому

      I’m guessing you don’t get it. Statue pfps never do

  • @Capt.Schnasty
    @Capt.Schnasty 4 роки тому +4

    I showed this to my mom, and she bought it.

  • @brandonslater7062
    @brandonslater7062 3 роки тому +1

    i’m so happy i found this channel

  • @rakuengrowlithe4654
    @rakuengrowlithe4654 Рік тому +6

    Host: Should we cut off electricity to Africa so no one gets television.
    ANC: Hold my beer!

  • @MrBigCookieCrumble
    @MrBigCookieCrumble 4 роки тому +4

    OML That little nod at the end bahahaha!!!

  • @jayhill2193
    @jayhill2193 Рік тому +4

    The panelists were in a tough spot, back in 08 it seemed like no one could make it in the oversaturated stick market, but the introduction of Minecraft in 09 turned that one around a full 180°. I don't blame them for not predicting that, after everything that went down at the stock exchanges in 08, no one was watching the development of stick manufacturing.

  • @jameswolf5513
    @jameswolf5513 3 роки тому +1

    I've watched so many The Onion videos that actual news is starting to appear in in my feed

  • @tahaabdullah8833
    @tahaabdullah8833 3 роки тому +3

    This is gold!

  • @grantv7825
    @grantv7825 10 років тому +373

    Ah, 2008, before the recession. Back when we made jokes about our immense wealth, rather than poverty.

    • @yo-kp2yu
      @yo-kp2yu 9 років тому +63

      www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30585541
      money.cnn.com/2014/12/23/news/economy/us-gdp-economy-5-percent-growth/
      really? in which USA do you live? But if you don't like it there we can trade nationalities. I'm venezuelan BTW.

    • @Savyn333
      @Savyn333 9 років тому +1

      i just went to see the comment section to see bashing but you sir, are a genious.

    • @GalacticSlayer
      @GalacticSlayer 6 років тому +12

      lol anyone in poverty nowadays probable earned it

    • @Micho55
      @Micho55 6 років тому +32

      Grant V
      the global recession happened in 2007, the fuck are you talking about

    • @isaacsutka1600
      @isaacsutka1600 5 років тому +3

      @l3054 umm nah

  • @Canzary
    @Canzary 4 роки тому +21

    It’s scary that this almost sounds like reality now trying to avoid offending CERTAIN groups

  • @noahmcdaniel4920
    @noahmcdaniel4920 3 роки тому +2

    This video needs to be preserved for all of history

  • @Gythem
    @Gythem 3 роки тому +5

    Why is this in EDEN’s No Future playlist lmfao

    • @osaiha5913
      @osaiha5913 2 роки тому

      Bc he whispered in my ear and said Viva la revolucion. You know, cause he hates rich people

    • @osaiha5913
      @osaiha5913 2 роки тому

      Which is a good thing

  • @Adriangrosvenor
    @Adriangrosvenor 13 років тому +22

    The stick market is complete free fall lmaooooooooooooooooo

  • @GreenGretel
    @GreenGretel 4 роки тому +46

    "Not telling Africa about the global economy will mean leaving the continent in charge of their own mining and drilling operations. _Are they gonna hurt themselves with all that equipment?!"_
    "I think so. I wouldn't have a problem with introducing Fisher-Price mining tools to sort of, like, get them started, give them a sense of what the shapes and sounds are like."
    The satire here is so excellent. ::*chef's kiss*::

  • @xmlthegreat
    @xmlthegreat 3 роки тому +2

    This is brilliant satire. It honestly felt like I didn't know where exactly they were going with it until I got to the toys part.

  • @haydenmacfarlane7194
    @haydenmacfarlane7194 4 роки тому +4

    I can rewatch these videos so many times and still burst out laughing😂😂

  • @illumi_verse
    @illumi_verse 3 роки тому +7

    Thank u eden

    • @Ryboy1122
      @Ryboy1122 2 роки тому +1

      :) this shit made me laugh so hard when I found it 😂

    • @illumi_verse
      @illumi_verse 2 роки тому

      @@Ryboy1122

  • @mollymermaid1398
    @mollymermaid1398 3 роки тому +6

    Idk how many of you there are so I’m curious… how many of you are from EDEN No future’s playlist where he accidentally added this XD

    • @jzia0
      @jzia0 3 роки тому +2

      He still hasnt fixed it ahahahha

    • @iamrobert_10
      @iamrobert_10 3 роки тому

      Ayooo I came from there too

    • @Ghost-jw4bn
      @Ghost-jw4bn 2 роки тому

      yeah i'm starting to think this wasn't a mistake lmao

  • @williebrits6272
    @williebrits6272 5 років тому +1

    I am in Africa....and this is very true

  • @eoghan.5003
    @eoghan.5003 4 роки тому +32

    Tbh I imagine a lot of impoverished people on Africa would be shocked to see the extent of unnecessary poverty and homelessness in the "rich world"

    • @mobeenkhan824
      @mobeenkhan824 4 роки тому +7

      Eoghan Connolly
      I am from Pakistan, I thought wealth inequality like that only existed in poor countries like ours.

    • @vladivanov5500
      @vladivanov5500 4 роки тому +11

      ​@@mobeenkhan824 Even then, though, they can feed themselves. What constitutes poverty in a developed country vs developing country is very different.
      Statistically most people below the 'poverty' line in America have TVs, computers and air conditioning.

    • @ajgerbi
      @ajgerbi 4 роки тому

      Vlad Ivanov / They’re probably referring to people that are homeless and have to beg on the streets tho, not people stuck in fast food jobs who are just kinda struggling (although most Americans still consider it poverty). However, a lot of the time when people experience homelessness, it’s from those people who are just “struggling” making their own mistakes, such as an addiction to drugs that basically empties their pockets til they have nothing left.
      There are the few cases when someone is left in immense poverty in the U.S. from experiencing just a series of unfortunate events tho. There are a lot of places you can rebuild your life tho, plenty of shelters and churches that can help you, just some people don’t take advantage of it sadly :/

    • @vladivanov5500
      @vladivanov5500 4 роки тому

      ​@@ajgerbi Yep. All on point. Sometimes there is no accounting for a sudden shock to the market.
      The worst problem to my mind in first world countries is crippling debt. The cycle of usury. The most developed countries today have got to where they are on borrowed money, and are ultimately on borrowed time.
      The upside for them is that with strong allies and a strong military, the state never need default on its debt because it has the might to back it up. Developing countries don't have that luxury.

    • @interestingusername2633
      @interestingusername2633 4 роки тому +4

      Mobeen Khan the us can’t even give it’s citizens adequate health care. They can barely be considered first world.