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I get absolutely bored if a guy pulls away and doesn't respond or stick to what he says he will. It shows me what I have in store in that connection in the future, which is nothing fun or respectful or considerate. So I don't reach out. And they always come back but I have no interest by then. And it allows me to make more space for the more considerate, consistent and feel good guys. I love that.
Thank you Matt! Best advice ever! This text response worked on my guy. Everything was going great and we were spending a lot of time together then out of no where he pulled back and told me he needed to “figure some things out” in his life. My abandonment wounds came to the surface lol and I asked if we could talk and he told me not yet. Then I sent him a few other texts expressing my frustration that he was ignoring me… got nothing. About two months passed, I was really still confused and frustrated that he hadn’t reached out yet. Even after I had been on some other dates, I still couldn’t shake the feeling. I came across this video and texted him exactly what you said, “ Ok it’s been months…I take it you’ve given up on us??” and he immediately replied! He told me that his life was being uprooted and he needed to move 3 hrs away to take care of his grandfather & he just doesn’t know what he wants right now. He apologized for leaving me in the dark and says he does miss me. With all that being said, It does work ladies!! However, I believe it only worked that well because I was able to step back and focus on myself in the meantime! I pray that everyone reading this gets the clarity they need. It sucks feeling stuck like you can’t move on. Just know if I can do it so can you! My #1 advice is to find you a support system who will listen and validate your feelings you aren’t crazy for needing reassurance.❤️ Edit: Make sure that when he come back that you also have your boundaries! Just because he comes back doesn’t always mean it’s for the right reasons. Guard your heart ladies!
If they do despite I let them know I'm interested, I follow up once in a loving, respectful, assertive, also playful manner. If he still pulls away, I don't take it personally. I move on, go on with my busy life, and keep dating other guys. I agree with you Mat, there are plenty of amazing guys out there. Whoever wants you will put the effort, communicate, be vulnerable, take you on dates, spend time, respect you and appreciate you😊 Thank you Mat💕
A man pulls away and you’re telling woman to text asking if he has given up on her and telling him you miss him??? Lol oh my goodness. Woman don’t do that. If a guy disappears let him
@@Mercy1- maybe if he at least cared in the first place. I mean c'mon. It's very simply respect to give basic communication and investment goes both ways.
Dating sets the stage for how the relationship will be. It teaches people how to treat you. If he's doing this during the dating process, he will continue. You have to set standards. Stop allowing people to disrespect you and waste your time. Remember, you're worth it! You don't have to tolerate the nonsense. Love yourself and others will love you too! Remember, it's okay to be single. You are not defined by being in a relationship. In society, there's a stigma about single women. As if, something is wrong with you if you're single. We need to lose this mindset. Also, get a life. Like Matt said. Dress up. Go out with friends. Go out on dates even if it's by yourself. But have a good time! Live your best life. The right people will gravitate towards you. That's including the right man. Always remember. Man's rejection is God's protection! Since I've reentered The Dating Game, that's what I've learned. That's what helps me. Maybe it would help someone else.
Yeah, what you said helps a lot în reaffirming the truth that we know already but that we, as women, sometimes forget. Thanks! 🤗 You're great and we are great! You're right.
Let it be, if a man does not communicate don't chase. A woman knows her worth :) and if he never justify the things he do. Move on and find a man who can meet your standards :).
Well said!!!! A guy promised yesterday to take me out this afternoon, he overslept and didn’t bother to text me until later in the afternoon because he wanted someone to have dinner with him, & I agreed to the dinner 🤦🏻♀️
The answer to your question Matt is this, I matched his energy from the beginning. When I realized I was pouring too much because my energy is typically what you see is what you get, I started picking up signs that he wasn't ready. I read his energy. I will always come towards someone with openness and honesty, and when it's not reciprocated I'll match the energy and slowly back away. What is unbelievable is that we're actually friends who grew an attraction for one another so the respect is there. The communication piece is not and I'm all about communication!
This kind of thing is why I don’t want to bother with dating. I don’t have time and energy to deal with all the emotional ups and downs. I’m used to being single, and even prefer it a lot of the time.
I texted him with “i noticed you didnt answer my call when i called you. I noticed that when i texted you, you said you will call me back later but you didnt. I have no problem with you not calling or texting me but does this explain i should stop talking to you and seeing you?” He answered, “no not at all. I was busy and guess youre busy. I have many things on my head. If i didnt called you back, im sorry. But you should have also reminded me if you truly want us to talk. So whats up?” I got my answer. No need to respond to him.
First, let me say...you do not need to be wrapped up in any relationship or chasing a man down like a hunter. It's ok to be alone and living your best life with family and friends and your own quiet alone time and pursuing your own interests and hobbies! That's a beautiful situation,however, I had a few scenarios! I almost always mirror his actions and I find out that is the quickest way to see his interest level. A few times, I reached out first and they waited a day or 2 to respond and we then dated but it didn't last and a few just flat out ghosted. Usually, in my personal experience, when he has pursued me, that is where my LTR s all came from.
I’m talking to a guy long-distance and not calling as often as I would like. After a day of no communication, he texted me his almost-daily “good morning” text, I texted him “I like it when you send me a text, but I would love it if you call me”. He called me instantly, later that day we FaceTime’d for the very first time!
We were conditioned to by society. As young girls were taught that if a woman is single it's her own fault and something must be wrong with her. Good ole patriarchy at work
I actually said that a few weeks ago.. his response was “you’re thinking too hard” and then proceeded to make me look needy & crazy. 🙄We didn’t go out again. I had really liked him during the 2 1/2 months we dated but’s not after that.
It's beautiful once a woman gets to appreciate who she is... it's beautiful to walk away from junk behavior... I just kept quiet after we spoke we were going to meet and then he sent a message to say he's in a meeting "we will chat" and then never came back... goodbye... simple and easy. I don't think he can explain himself out of this... especially after I told him if we have plans it shouldn't be difficult to get a hold of him. That's that... I just keep focusing on the one I am manifesting... he was very close but he isn't, so, I keep it moving.
I always think I come on too strong as a woman and hold myself accountable. Thank you for reminding me to give myself slack and hold him accountable. The grey areas always trip me up.
I am going through something like this right now... It has been almost 2 weeks now.. I absolutely gave him space ... But I think it's time for me to ask him about this and if it is not worth it then let's not delay the inevitable.
Sometimes a man Will say no i havent given up. But his actions wont match. So remember to take note of his actions Even if he says differently. Maybe he wants to be what you need but just cant be❤️
Well when he ghosted me I did the opposite of what I've been told. I tried to communicate and asked him why he ignored me all of a sudden, because we were very open and communicative with each other, and willing to fix our problems all the time. And now I'm left more damaged with 50 unanswered calls and 20-30 unseen text messages of mine. Please girls, please. Leave him like this, we just feed their ego by trying to communicate with them and begging for an answer or explanation. Move on, move on❤️❤️
Mine was sick with the flu. So I texted him was he feeling better or need anything after not hearing from him for 4 days. I waited until 4 days and texted something similar. Both times no response. I waited two weeks and texted him I assume no response means you are no longer interested and want me to leave you alone. I wish you the best in life. He read that one but no response. Probably 2 more weeks and he texted me he was ok baby. I texted back a thumbs up. No words. Neither of us have texted since. Ghosting hurts. He could have told me anything and the hurt wouldn’t have been so bad.
Great advice ! I like it that Matt focuses on the psychology that women must have in such situations. The techniques won't work if you don't understand the underlying self-empowering and self- respecting psychology.
Hey Mat. Thank u so much for this video. It was just for meee. So here is my story. We didn't even go on a date. He liked me and gave me green lights at first, then I started to like him back. But things suddenly changed. So I sent him a text that I wanna know him better and see him more so I wanned to know if there's any interests to start a relationship together. He said that he's got personal matters. I still see him at work as we are neighbors, he just works some blocks away but it made me easier to decide what I'm goin to do next. I still like him, but I'm focusing on myself as u said, and started dating other guys. Maybe we will connect in the future, maybe not. Who the hell knows
Thanks a lot! This indeed serves me. I have nothing to add but say thanks a lot for your help to saving me time and heading for my goal with more confidence
I agree with you! For me, If a man pulls away or doesn't want to respond/communicate for three days or a week so, I totally cut him off I won't beg for his text or anything because I think he doesn't respect someone's time even though he tries to communicate or explain what's going on but remember.. someone who truly love you won't ignore or make you wait for too long for his message. As a woman we should be respect to ourselve. Just my opinion *you can take it or leave it *no hate
My situation is rather complicated. I’m not sure what to do or think at times. All I know is we still talk and he is there to help me when I need it. But barely see other. I get he is going through stuff and so am I; but still.
Thanks alot for the great show,I'm going through the same at the moment and the only solution I possibly could get was to not text as well so we can be even
This msg is cringey. Better to call or meet than sending such dramatic txt 🙄 if a guy is wishy washy and wants to be casual no right word will change it. I did something similar and told him I feel hes not really interested and I wanted to give this a chance. Hed tell me he is super interested yet his actions showed the opposite. I cut him off and he would come back after months doing the same breadcrumbing bs. Save your dignity, nerves and time and block him for good. Hes clearly frying a bigger fish else where and treating you like a filler and backburner.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash.
When a man pulls away, you pull your all far away. Whether they lose interest or try to make you chase him by playing games. First one is a dead end. Second one is manipulative. Therefore the reason behind is not important.
Any advice when he’s the one who broke up with you for shallow reason and now texted you a video he found like forcing not to talk to someone you love is the hardest thing a person can do.
Heey Mat!.... It's great to hear from you. Thanks for reaching out, I am just learning not to put a man off and this happens to me. 😄 Good for me. He only showed a sign haven't said anything, I know he is going through work related issues , he has met another whom he displayed,no problems life goes on. "Good radiance "...... If only I could find out if he was the same guy who followed up on me under cover throughout last year until I deleted my FB page. Keeping hope alive. 🤷🙋💝
Ladies, I don't care if you're 15 or 80. Let the man prove himself. Let the man pursue you. That's why they're called Hunters. Men will climb mountains, swim Rivers, and you do anything to get to the woman they want. If he continues and to be distant from you, he's either not ready for a relationship or He's Just Not That Into You. It's not your fault, unless you slept with him on the first date, or I should say in today's terms, the first time you hung out.
Bari Bach what If he started out chasing /pursuing and I was hesitant and needed time . We’ve only Talked a less than 3 months and I “ended” things a few times . Once I came around and decided I wanted to move forward with him Now he is the one saying he time as he isn’t sure if I will stop Talking to him again. We last spoke Sunday night and I haven’t heard form him Yet . Do I wait a few days and reach back Out or should I just not reach out if he does not contact me ?
I have had this situation - he had to take an unplanned trip to NYC to cover for a sick co-worker and there was a huge amount of responsibility for him. This was after a first fantastic date. He said he would call but did not over a weekend and he is normally very expressive so I sent a text late Monday night and stated I enjoyed our time but now I felt a mixed signal was being sent as he ignored my texts over the weekend and I posed the question “if you were me and you wanted to pursue a relationship what would you do”? He responded 13 hours later that he was under a microscope with his job and needs to fight to keep it. He is there for two weeks then returns to Miami - so I said I did not want to stress him but was here if he did want to text otherwise I looked forward to seeing him when he returns and he stated I was the one light in his life in this current situation. So……we will see
From an outside perspective, that doesn't sound like it's going anywhere. This stuff happens in patterns and it will repeat. I would back away from that. Take care!
Omg!! You are brilliant and so HEALTHY. My guy is not this healthy, by a long shot. He wants only me and is committed-on HIS effing terms. I may have to leave 😢 And, I am strong enough. And-i haven’t yet given up on us. So….🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 praying for a miracle…or, to let go
Idk because women make comments like this all the time on most dating advice videos but then it begs the question as to why you’re even here to begin with 🤨 Women can know their value but don’t lie to yourself that you’ve never been, or currently, caught up with a guy who’s giving mixed signals, and got confused on the perception of “value”. It happens
He said he will call me back four days ago, and he vanished and did not fall through, I kept silence myself until today when I got a text message from him telling me that he misses me and he was not feeling very well. I told him I’m glad he feels better but I didn’t go crazy I didn’t give him no ❤️ or nothing. He texted me a loving phrase from a song I texted him cute face emoji. Pretty much the ball on his court and he should be nice out about it.
Yes this video help me because I'm going thru this same thing with the person im talk to and thank you for this tips one thing I do when someone pulls away is I would say hey I hope everything ok if you need talk I'm here and I leave it with that but these tips will help me
I pull away completely and block. Even though I’m still in love, I put it up into God’s hands and totally work on self-improvement. He has always found a way to come back. It always seems like a miracle, because the last thing that you want is to pull back. Men respect women who walk away.
I'm so glad I seen this when I did much needed now I know how to handle things I'm going through with someone I'm talking to and know it's okay to go on other dates and not just focus on him I don't think it's going anywhere with him he always has something going on to hear him say it SMH 😡
This its served me and help this advices of your's Mat, cos dating online its kind wonderfull but at the same time a lot of emotions comes up,this video now it will help me for the upcoming encounter, thank you very much Mat,it helped me a lot .
Just do the same, 😉😄, without even asking why... Don' t bother, exactly for the reasons you mentioned and, move on with your own life...!!! When there is TRUST between the couple, pulling back does not really matter that much! Leave them room. On a more professional relation or early stages, of course one needs to be taken accountable for his/her behaviour...! Of course, politness and respect to the expectations of the other is a major characteristic in the relation. If it' s lacking once, most probably it will lack more times, in the future too (red flag) !!!
I was getting to know this guy at first he would always text me good morning and good night and carry out a conversation through out the day. If he was working and couldn't text he would let me know. Slowly he started communicating less. The first two times I expressed how I felt and stopped communicating. I was silly enough to reach out to him. Same thing happened this third time I didn't explain myself or my feelings and just blocked him 💔 obviously he doesn't feel the same about me. It hurts but at least I didn't invest too much time and energy into him
Thank you Mat! Perfectly timed video. This is helpful for dealing with all men in the dating process, but especially with a great guy on the Asperger's spectrum. Went on a 2nd date with a guy last Saturday. He lead me to believe he was very interested by actions. The guy is mature, kind, very smart/educated, and interesting. I wrote him a casual thank you note the following evening and that I had a great time. Didn't get a text for another almost 4 days (he was traveling)! I've been obsessing. I'm realizing it doesn't matter that this guy has a particular set of communication issues. It's about finding out whether he is definitely still interested? And then setting communications standards. (Ironically, he's a corporate healthcare communications executive).
Can you please provide verbiage of how to hold the man accountable? Examples of how to address them, bc I don’t think women have enough tools for this, especially framing it how a man would receive it well. I tend to come off with blame or accusing, even though I don’t intend to.
Lol! I've recently had 3 pull away! One was a bf of 13 months! I didn't reach out to him because I was seeing signs of him pulling away but i was also starting to see characteristics I didn't like in him. The next man did tell me he had a lot going on in his life. I believe him. Up until that point he acted as if he were really into me. The most recent one...hmm, not sure what his deal is. Although we haven't started dating I was hoping to. His text appears every week or 2 to tell me life got away from him and he would like to see me again. Anyway, I'm not holding my breath and I've moved on. Like I've heard, the bad ones weed themselves out!
Yeah I have the exact same 2week text guy...I'm sick of him n I love him..now I need to let him go..cause Fk that for my sanity...who do these guys think they r...
what if a guy is from the gym - gives signs as going to the gym at the same time for months, leaves at the same time, stares at each other and finally introduce myself and acted like i don’t exist- why???? we have hardly talked - and now stopped everything… why? what did i do????
The guy that I was talking to , started having bad communication, I told him that I felt disconnected and he never replied to my message , the last thing I said was that he ever wants to talk he can go to my house and have an adult conversation. I feel that I screwed up and I missed him but he is not texting me
I want to share something but firstly sorry for my bad english. So i met this amazing person who would do anything for me and find any excuse to see me and we being happily dating for 6months then a week ago he been distant, he was always flirting before then he stop but still ask if im ok or if i eat and stuff After 3days i ask him what's wrong, he told me that he has news that he have this great opportunity to work abroad Now he told me when he's going there he will work for 13hrs and he willing to try ldr but he doesn't want me to get frustrated or hurt bcs he will be in a different time zone Plus he doesn't know how long he will be there or if his next post will be here We still don't know what to do bcs we have a strong feeling and ofc a busy life and will be in a different time zones
Feelings are always particular with the particular person its not a job or duty to be changed once ya really luv then story begins to connecting souls.
At the first time i keep blamming and ask myself what am i doing to him, did i make mistake ? And bla bla bla.. but times goes by .. i start to think to the same way.. im not calling his back when he is not calling me (it's hurt)
i have always watched your videos for help, i have been in a very rocky marriage and all i tried to make sure the marriage worked, never worked tried everything but to no avail, we got seperated last year,sadly i still love her and i dont know what to do.
same here, i have been in such a situation and i love my wife and unfortunately we divorced about two years ago but i couldnt just let anything make us get seperated so i had to do all i could to get her back, now we have been back together for over a year now,and i must say i am enjoying every moment of it, i couldnt let the love of my life go.
well i couldnt let her go and a friend of mine introduced me to a spiritual adviser who helped me out by bringing her back, she is a caster and i can say she is very good at what she does,i am a living testimony.
I just texted him that if he’s just not interested in hanging out or chatting anymore it’s OK I don’t wanna keep reaching out to him if he isn’t interested. So far crickets and it’s been hours. I’m thinkin..bye..
I needed this today... I am so glade I took the time to watch. I have been intrested in a guy who is almost 12 yrs older than me. The age between us doest bother me. We started the relationahip as co workers witch blossmed into a amazing friendship yes he was in a relationship so i had to cool my jets but as time went on we still were good friends a chat here and there he ened up moving away witch crushed me. I thought that I was loosing my best friend. Time went on and he than became single we started hanging out. It was so easy to be with him but I haf to hide my true feeling becoise he was just getting over the lose of his girlfriend and I understood that. Things were good talked on the phone spent sat or sunday with each other took a trip together than all of a sudden the calls got fewer and fewer. I asked if everything was ok he says yes but work is stressfull. Im like ok understandable I am here if you need to talk. Than a week after my birthday i could feel it in the air he says I cant have a romantic relationship with you right now what why he clams hes talking to another girl who works with him and he has dated in the past. I was shocked, hurt felt used. Do I give him space? Do i send short texts to let him know hey hi ? Im just confused with so many questions. I dont want to loose a friend but I dont wont to feel like i lost my best friend either
Oh boy!! LOL did this hit my situation square on the head!! And confirmed EVERYTHING I did was right. After about a month of VERY sporatic contact weather in text or me driving over there. (We live in a very small town) I would try exhaustingly to get him to respond. He would in very short responses. (I feel to appease me) Then finally after I felt that he probably thought I was bordering on being a bit crazy by the way I'd try to get a hold of him he sent me a text and said all 3 of your points. I told him "you know ALL of this could have been avoided if he would have communicated what he just said when he started feeling this way." and I am thinking that it is totally unfait on his part to act like he is all in and then totally do a 180 and a about-face. and expect me to figure it out!! Then he used on me something that I told him I used when I last dated someone local and there is a chance we'd run into each other. I said to him (my ex) to save on it being awkward "lets keep it amicalable". SOOOO he sends me the said text and then fast forward to that evening I see him out WITH HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND. Do you think he felt the need to send that text because he knew he was going to be going out that night with her and there was a chance I'd be out? I think ABSOLUTELY!! I am so over it!! Yes it hurts like hell. I am getting to old for these games!! LOL Thank you Mat for validating my feelings!!
i love your content but if i need to teach someone not to completely stop texting when foarming a relationship, we have a problem. at the begining the other person needs to be consistant.
I have a question? I've been getting closer to my dentist, he's been having me come to his office to meet him at his lunch break to have coffee together. For my birthday his bought me candy for a gift and told me he never buys anything for anyone so I should feel lucky he likes me! For his birthday we was meeting because I told him I have something for him...when I got there he was sitting in his car, told me to come sit with him. After giving him his gift he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. We were talking and laughing then he got quiet, I asked if he was ok. He answered back with "when I breathe my heart hurts" I wasn't sure how to answer him :( Not sure if he is interested in me! What should I do?
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Any advice to deal or respon to the guy that pulled away, and recently i found out that he went for vacation wt the girl he knew before??
Runners give off feminine energy, not interested, not chasing
"Don't hold yourself accountable for his behaviour" - that's an important lesson
I get absolutely bored if a guy pulls away and doesn't respond or stick to what he says he will. It shows me what I have in store in that connection in the future, which is nothing fun or respectful or considerate. So I don't reach out. And they always come back but I have no interest by then. And it allows me to make more space for the more considerate, consistent and feel good guys. I love that.
I just say, NEVER CHASE!! You're too good for that. He should be chasing you, and if he's not, he's not good enough for you!! 💖
Thank you Matt! Best advice ever! This text response worked on my guy. Everything was going great and we were spending a lot of time together then out of no where he pulled back and told me he needed to “figure some things out” in his life. My abandonment wounds came to the surface lol and I asked if we could talk and he told me not yet. Then I sent him a few other texts expressing my frustration that he was ignoring me… got nothing. About two months passed, I was really still confused and frustrated that he hadn’t reached out yet. Even after I had been on some other dates, I still couldn’t shake the feeling. I came across this video and texted him exactly what you said, “ Ok it’s been months…I take it you’ve given up on us??” and he immediately replied! He told me that his life was being uprooted and he needed to move 3 hrs away to take care of his grandfather & he just doesn’t know what he wants right now. He apologized for leaving me in the dark and says he does miss me. With all that being said, It does work ladies!! However, I believe it only worked that well because I was able to step back and focus on myself in the meantime! I pray that everyone reading this gets the clarity they need. It sucks feeling stuck like you can’t move on. Just know if I can do it so can you! My #1 advice is to find you a support system who will listen and validate your feelings you aren’t crazy for needing reassurance.❤️
Edit: Make sure that when he come back that you also have your boundaries! Just because he comes back doesn’t always mean it’s for the right reasons. Guard your heart ladies!
If they do despite I let them know I'm interested, I follow up once in a loving, respectful, assertive, also playful manner. If he still pulls away, I don't take it personally. I move on, go on with my busy life, and keep dating other guys. I agree with you Mat, there are plenty of amazing guys out there. Whoever wants you will put the effort, communicate, be vulnerable, take you on dates, spend time, respect you and appreciate you😊 Thank you Mat💕
Ps Liudmilla.. where are you from. I am Australian. Your smile is awesome! You seem intelligent. Would you like to chat
I will treat you as a true gentleman and I like your fun but clever nature 😉
Very true
A man pulls away and you’re telling woman to text asking if he has given up on her and telling him you miss him??? Lol oh my goodness. Woman don’t do that. If a guy disappears let him
Exactly 💯
Smh at least ask
@@Mercy1- maybe if he at least cared in the first place. I mean c'mon. It's very simply respect to give basic communication and investment goes both ways.
True. Mirror his action. Periodt
Exactly
Dating sets the stage for how the relationship will be. It teaches people how to treat you. If he's doing this during the dating process, he will continue. You have to set standards. Stop allowing people to disrespect you and waste your time. Remember, you're worth it! You don't have to tolerate the nonsense. Love yourself and others will love you too! Remember, it's okay to be single. You are not defined by being in a relationship. In society, there's a stigma about single women. As if, something is wrong with you if you're single. We need to lose this mindset. Also, get a life. Like Matt said. Dress up. Go out with friends. Go out on dates even if it's by yourself. But have a good time! Live your best life. The right people will gravitate towards you. That's including the right man. Always remember. Man's rejection is God's protection! Since I've reentered The Dating Game, that's what I've learned. That's what helps me. Maybe it would help someone else.
Thank you
@@domif.b.7657 You're welcome hun! 😊
Great advice. I totally agree with you.
Yeah, what you said helps a lot în reaffirming the truth that we know already but that we, as women, sometimes forget. Thanks! 🤗 You're great and we are great! You're right.
I like this 👍♥️
Let it be, if a man does not communicate don't chase. A woman knows her worth :) and if he never justify the things he do. Move on and find a man who can meet your standards :).
Well said!!!! A guy promised yesterday to take me out this afternoon, he overslept and didn’t bother to text me until later in the afternoon because he wanted someone to have dinner with him, & I agreed to the dinner 🤦🏻♀️
That is so awesome thank you for opening my eyes
It's more then frustration it's hurting
The answer to your question Matt is this, I matched his energy from the beginning. When I realized I was pouring too much because my energy is typically what you see is what you get, I started picking up signs that he wasn't ready. I read his energy. I will always come towards someone with openness and honesty, and when it's not reciprocated I'll match the energy and slowly back away. What is unbelievable is that we're actually friends who grew an attraction for one another so the respect is there. The communication piece is not and I'm all about communication!
Yeah... Pisces, right?? From the sign? 🙂 me, too and.. I am exactly the same, so to speak.
Wow. Same.
@@israelaiesha2531 yeah... ❤🤗 all the love to you all !
This video is made just for me. I'm truly trying to find myself because, when am in love. I become so vulnerable to fault.
This kind of thing is why I don’t want to bother with dating. I don’t have time and energy to deal with all the emotional ups and downs. I’m used to being single, and even prefer it a lot of the time.
I don't chase... I will focus on myself as I knew my value and worth.
Matt thank you ,you are the big brother every girl needs out here in the dating world . 😊
I texted him with “i noticed you didnt answer my call when i called you. I noticed that when i texted you, you said you will call me back later but you didnt. I have no problem with you not calling or texting me but does this explain i should stop talking to you and seeing you?”
He answered, “no not at all. I was busy and guess youre busy. I have many things on my head. If i didnt called you back, im sorry. But you should have also reminded me if you truly want us to talk. So whats up?”
I got my answer. No need to respond to him.
First, let me say...you do not need to be wrapped up in any relationship or chasing a man down like a hunter. It's ok to be alone and living your best life with family and friends and your own quiet alone time and pursuing your own interests and hobbies! That's a beautiful situation,however, I had a few scenarios! I almost always mirror his actions and I find out that is the quickest way to see his interest level. A few times, I reached out first and they waited a day or 2 to respond and we then dated but it didn't last and a few just flat out ghosted. Usually, in my personal experience, when he has pursued me, that is where my LTR s all came from.
I’m talking to a guy long-distance and not calling as often as I would like. After a day of no communication, he texted me his almost-daily “good morning” text, I texted him “I like it when you send me a text, but I would love it if you call me”. He called me instantly, later that day we FaceTime’d for the very first time!
You mean you both are in different states or countries?
it's distresses me that too many women self blame especially at the beginning of a relationship
Say that. 😘
We were conditioned to by society. As young girls were taught that if a woman is single it's her own fault and something must be wrong with her. Good ole patriarchy at work
I actually said that a few weeks ago.. his response was “you’re thinking too hard” and then proceeded to make me look needy & crazy. 🙄We didn’t go out again. I had really liked him during the 2 1/2 months we dated but’s not after that.
It's beautiful once a woman gets to appreciate who she is... it's beautiful to walk away from junk behavior... I just kept quiet after we spoke we were going to meet and then he sent a message to say he's in a meeting "we will chat" and then never came back... goodbye... simple and easy. I don't think he can explain himself out of this... especially after I told him if we have plans it shouldn't be difficult to get a hold of him. That's that... I just keep focusing on the one I am manifesting... he was very close but he isn't, so, I keep it moving.
"You're thinking too hard"............run.......I can tell just by that comment, that he is mentally/emotionally abusive.......run, run, run.......
I always think I come on too strong as a woman and hold myself accountable. Thank you for reminding me to give myself slack and hold him accountable. The grey areas always trip me up.
I am going through something like this right now... It has been almost 2 weeks now.. I absolutely gave him space ... But I think it's time for me to ask him about this and if it is not worth it then let's not delay the inevitable.
Sometimes a man Will say no i havent given up. But his actions wont match. So remember to take note of his actions Even if he says differently. Maybe he wants to be what you need but just cant be❤️
Always watch out the actions and not the words
Well when he ghosted me I did the opposite of what I've been told. I tried to communicate and asked him why he ignored me all of a sudden, because we were very open and communicative with each other, and willing to fix our problems all the time. And now I'm left more damaged with 50 unanswered calls and 20-30 unseen text messages of mine. Please girls, please. Leave him like this, we just feed their ego by trying to communicate with them and begging for an answer or explanation. Move on, move on❤️❤️
Exactly hun...its so abusive that it's best to play his game n ignore n try hard to forget...😢😔😭
Mine was sick with the flu. So I texted him was he feeling better or need anything after not hearing from him for 4 days. I waited until 4 days and texted something similar. Both times no response. I waited two weeks and texted him I assume no response means you are no longer interested and want me to leave you alone. I wish you the best in life. He read that one but no response. Probably 2 more weeks and he texted me he was ok baby. I texted back a thumbs up. No words. Neither of us have texted since. Ghosting hurts. He could have told me anything and the hurt wouldn’t have been so bad.
Luv is not about give n take its the name of giving.
Great advice ! I like it that Matt focuses on the psychology that women must have in such situations. The techniques won't work if you don't understand the underlying self-empowering and self- respecting psychology.
Hey Mat. Thank u so much for this video. It was just for meee. So here is my story. We didn't even go on a date. He liked me and gave me green lights at first, then I started to like him back. But things suddenly changed. So I sent him a text that I wanna know him better and see him more so I wanned to know if there's any interests to start a relationship together. He said that he's got personal matters. I still see him at work as we are neighbors, he just works some blocks away but it made me easier to decide what I'm goin to do next. I still like him, but I'm focusing on myself as u said, and started dating other guys. Maybe we will connect in the future, maybe not. Who the hell knows
Thanks a lot! This indeed serves me. I have nothing to add but say thanks a lot for your help to saving me time and heading for my goal with more confidence
Thank you Matt, you’ve come at the right time! ❤
Wow this is literally perfect timing. Thank you Matt!
I agree with you! For me, If a man pulls away or doesn't want to respond/communicate for three days or a week so, I totally cut him off I won't beg for his text or anything because I think he doesn't respect someone's time even though he tries to communicate or explain what's going on but remember.. someone who truly love you won't ignore or make you wait for too long for his message. As a woman we should be respect to ourselve. Just my opinion *you can take it or leave it *no hate
I totally agree with you, good advice! 👍🏻
My situation is rather complicated. I’m not sure what to do or think at times. All I know is we still talk and he is there to help me when I need it. But barely see other. I get he is going through stuff and so am I; but still.
Thanks alot for the great show,I'm going through the same at the moment and the only solution I possibly could get was to not text as well so we can be even
Thank you for all the videos you are creating. Always the best ❤
This msg is cringey. Better to call or meet than sending such dramatic txt 🙄 if a guy is wishy washy and wants to be casual no right word will change it. I did something similar and told him I feel hes not really interested and I wanted to give this a chance. Hed tell me he is super interested yet his actions showed the opposite. I cut him off and he would come back after months doing the same breadcrumbing bs. Save your dignity, nerves and time and block him for good. Hes clearly frying a bigger fish else where and treating you like a filler and backburner.
Absolutely. The truth is men know what they want and if he's lost interest, there's very little you can do to reverse the pulling away...
thank you so much Matt for your brilliant video it just touched a spot where I get shy not asking why when long distance
I prefer not to poke him anymore. When he cools down, he will be back soon. If he doesn't come, it was not meant to be.
I'm going through this right now, thanks very much sir
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash.
@Abigail Prewitt well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer.
@Abigail Prewitt her name is Shelly Renee White, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster.
@Abigail Prewitt you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
LESSON FOR all women is NEVER beg for love, Never CHASE MEN .if its not meant to be then let it be
This video is gold! Much much much needed! Thank you!!!!!
When a man pulls away, you pull your all far away. Whether they lose interest or try to make you chase him by playing games. First one is a dead end. Second one is manipulative. Therefore the reason behind is not important.
Great advice, thank you for sharing every Saturday 😊
Thank you Matt. So true similar situation happened to me.
Any advice when he’s the one who broke up with you for shallow reason and now texted you a video he found like forcing not to talk to someone you love is the hardest thing a person can do.
Move on.
Heey Mat!.... It's great to hear from you. Thanks for reaching out, I am just learning not to put a man off and this happens to me.
😄 Good for me. He only showed a sign haven't said anything, I know he is going through work related issues , he has met another whom he displayed,no problems life goes on. "Good radiance "...... If only I could find out if he was the same guy who followed up on me under cover throughout last year until I deleted my FB page. Keeping hope alive. 🤷🙋💝
Ladies, I don't care if you're 15 or 80. Let the man prove himself. Let the man pursue you. That's why they're called Hunters. Men will climb mountains, swim Rivers, and you do anything to get to the woman they want. If he continues and to be distant from you, he's either not ready for a relationship or He's Just Not That Into You. It's not your fault, unless you slept with him on the first date, or I should say in today's terms, the first time you hung out.
Bari Bach what If he started out chasing /pursuing and I was hesitant and needed time . We’ve only
Talked a less than 3 months and I “ended” things a few times . Once I came around and decided
I wanted to move forward with him
Now he is the one saying he time as he isn’t sure if I will stop Talking to him again. We last spoke Sunday night and I haven’t heard form him
Yet . Do I wait a few days and reach back
Out or should I just not reach out if he does not contact me ?
**I apologize for the spaces in between my question
@@Meepsavage k
It's never your fault regardless if you had sex on the first date or not.
I have had this situation - he had to take an unplanned trip to NYC to cover for a sick co-worker and there was a huge amount of responsibility for him. This was after a first fantastic date. He said he would call but did not over a weekend and he is normally very expressive so I sent a text late Monday night and stated I enjoyed our time but now I felt a mixed signal was being sent as he ignored my texts over the weekend and I posed the question “if you were me and you wanted to pursue a relationship what would you do”?
He responded 13 hours later that he was under a microscope with his job and needs to fight to keep it. He is there for two weeks then returns to Miami - so I said I did not want to stress him but was here if he did want to text otherwise I looked forward to seeing him when he returns and he stated I was the one light in his life in this current situation. So……we will see
From an outside perspective, that doesn't sound like it's going anywhere. This stuff happens in patterns and it will repeat. I would back away from that. Take care!
Well I would like to break the pattern if that is true
@@susanfennell9489 Yes but I meant his pattern. That's something only the person can break and it's often pretty tough.
Best wishes to you! :)
@@gill426 thank you
@@susanfennell9489 I hope he keeps appreciating you, and how you _don't_ want to add stress to his life! :)
Thank-you Matt, great advice as usual.
Let him go
Omg!! You are brilliant and so HEALTHY. My guy is not this healthy, by a long shot. He wants only me and is committed-on HIS effing terms. I may have to leave 😢 And, I am strong enough. And-i haven’t yet given up on us. So….🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 praying for a miracle…or, to let go
I know my value and he either take it or leave it, lol 😆
Agree
Idk because women make comments like this all the time on most dating advice videos but then it begs the question as to why you’re even here to begin with 🤨
Women can know their value but don’t lie to yourself that you’ve never been, or currently, caught up with a guy who’s giving mixed signals, and got confused on the perception of “value”. It happens
Very good advice. Agreed with 100% what u said. Thank you very much
He said he will call me back four days ago, and he vanished and did not fall through, I kept silence myself until today when I got a text message from him telling me that he misses me and he was not feeling very well. I told him I’m glad he feels better but I didn’t go crazy I didn’t give him no ❤️ or nothing. He texted me a loving phrase from a song I texted him cute face emoji. Pretty much the ball on his court and he should be nice out about it.
Thank you so much Matt, I know its gonna be fine. Bless you💞
Yes this video help me because I'm going thru this same thing with the person im talk to and thank you for this tips one thing I do when someone pulls away is I would say hey I hope everything ok if you need talk I'm here and I leave it with that but these tips will help me
Thank you, does this work if you are in a long distance relationship relationship
This video was amazing and your so right. 🙂
I pull away completely and block. Even though I’m still in love, I put it up into God’s hands and totally work on self-improvement. He has always found a way to come back. It always seems like a miracle, because the last thing that you want is to pull back. Men respect women who walk away.
I'm so glad I seen this when I did much needed now I know how to handle things I'm going through with someone I'm talking to and know it's okay to go on other dates and not just focus on him I don't think it's going anywhere with him he always has something going on to hear him say it SMH 😡
Thank u. It was very helpful
This its served me and help this advices of your's Mat, cos dating online its kind wonderfull but at the same time a lot of emotions comes up,this video now it will help me for the upcoming encounter, thank you very much Mat,it helped me a lot .
I learned that from “never split the difference” also, lol!
That was a brilliant thought which I would follow
Just do the same, 😉😄, without even asking why... Don' t bother, exactly for the reasons you mentioned and, move on with your own life...!!! When there is TRUST between the couple, pulling back does not really matter that much! Leave them room. On a more professional relation or early stages, of course one needs to be taken accountable for his/her behaviour...! Of course, politness and respect to the expectations of the other is a major characteristic in the relation. If it' s lacking once, most probably it will lack more times, in the future too (red flag) !!!
I realized more..thank you so much sir for sharing this vedeo to make me awake...☺️🙏
I was getting to know this guy at first he would always text me good morning and good night and carry out a conversation through out the day. If he was working and couldn't text he would let me know. Slowly he started communicating less. The first two times I expressed how I felt and stopped communicating. I was silly enough to reach out to him. Same thing happened this third time I didn't explain myself or my feelings and just blocked him 💔 obviously he doesn't feel the same about me. It hurts but at least I didn't invest too much time and energy into him
Thank you for your advice Godbless you always ..❤❤❤
Wish I knew this all in the '60s, 70's and 80's. (So many men, never a wise choice on my part.) Signed, 75 and single.
❤️ Totally the right strategies . Thanks Mat 👍
Thank you sir Matt thank you thank you .
Thank you Mat! Perfectly timed video. This is helpful for dealing with all men in the dating process, but especially with a great guy on the Asperger's spectrum. Went on a 2nd date with a guy last Saturday. He lead me to believe he was very interested by actions. The guy is mature, kind, very smart/educated, and interesting. I wrote him a casual thank you note the following evening and that I had a great time. Didn't get a text for another almost 4 days (he was traveling)! I've been obsessing. I'm realizing it doesn't matter that this guy has a particular set of communication issues. It's about finding out whether he is definitely still interested? And then setting communications standards. (Ironically, he's a corporate healthcare communications executive).
Can you please provide verbiage of how to hold the man accountable? Examples of how to address them, bc I don’t think women have enough tools for this, especially framing it how a man would receive it well. I tend to come off with blame or accusing, even though I don’t intend to.
Lol! I've recently had 3 pull away! One was a bf of 13 months! I didn't reach out to him because I was seeing signs of him pulling away but i was also starting to see characteristics I didn't like in him. The next man did tell me he had a lot going on in his life. I believe him. Up until that point he acted as if he were really into me. The most recent one...hmm, not sure what his deal is. Although we haven't started dating I was hoping to. His text appears every week or 2 to tell me life got away from him and he would like to see me again. Anyway, I'm not holding my breath and I've moved on. Like I've heard, the bad ones weed themselves out!
Yeah I have the exact same 2week text guy...I'm sick of him n I love him..now I need to let him go..cause Fk that for my sanity...who do these guys think they r...
what if a guy is from the gym - gives signs as going to the gym at the same time for months, leaves at the same time, stares at each other and finally introduce myself and acted like i don’t exist- why???? we have hardly talked - and now stopped everything… why? what did i do????
This is what i need, thankyou Mat ❤️
Thank you Matt! I feel relieved!
The guy that I was talking to , started having bad communication, I told him that I felt disconnected and he never replied to my message , the last thing I said was that he ever wants to talk he can go to my house and have an adult conversation.
I feel that I screwed up and I missed him but he is not texting me
I want to share something but firstly sorry for my bad english.
So i met this amazing person who would do anything for me and find any excuse to see me and we being happily dating for 6months then a week ago he been distant, he was always flirting before then he stop but still ask if im ok or if i eat and stuff
After 3days i ask him what's wrong, he told me that he has news that he have this great opportunity to work abroad
Now he told me when he's going there he will work for 13hrs and he willing to try ldr but he doesn't want me to get frustrated or hurt bcs he will be in a different time zone
Plus he doesn't know how long he will be there or if his next post will be here
We still don't know what to do bcs we have a strong feeling and ofc a busy life and will be in a different time zones
Feelings are always particular with the particular person its not a job or duty to be changed once ya really luv then story begins to connecting souls.
Great content. Just in time :)
I love that we have to turn to a book by a terrorist negotiator to navigate the modern relationship !!! 😂😂😮
Hi please more of this its what am going through
True
Am listening to you Matt.
When my man pulls away I shift my focus and do practical and necessary things in my life
At the first time i keep blamming and ask myself what am i doing to him, did i make mistake ? And bla bla bla.. but times goes by .. i start to think to the same way.. im not calling his back when he is not calling me (it's hurt)
i have always watched your videos for help, i have been in a very rocky marriage and all i tried to make sure the marriage worked, never worked tried everything but to no avail, we got seperated last year,sadly i still love her and i dont know what to do.
same here, i have been in such a situation and i love my wife and unfortunately we divorced about two years ago but i couldnt just let anything make us get seperated so i had to do all i could to get her back, now we have been back together for over a year now,and i must say i am enjoying every moment of it, i couldnt let the love of my life go.
Wow, i would love to get my ex back, please can you tell me how yours worked out?
well i couldnt let her go and a friend of mine introduced me to a spiritual adviser who helped me out by bringing her back, she is a caster and i can say she is very good at what she does,i am a living testimony.
oh well i havent really given that a try, how would i go about it?
Ladies walk away , block and move on. It becomes easier because you start to notice patterns . Never get emotionally attached
I just texted him that if he’s just not interested in hanging out or chatting anymore it’s OK I don’t wanna keep reaching out to him if he isn’t interested. So far crickets and it’s been hours.
I’m thinkin..bye..
Can I post the demonstration here?
I needed this today... I am so glade I took the time to watch. I have been intrested in a guy who is almost 12 yrs older than me. The age between us doest bother me. We started the relationahip as co workers witch blossmed into a amazing friendship yes he was in a relationship so i had to cool my jets but as time went on we still were good friends a chat here and there he ened up moving away witch crushed me. I thought that I was loosing my best friend. Time went on and he than became single we started hanging out. It was so easy to be with him but I haf to hide my true feeling becoise he was just getting over the lose of his girlfriend and I understood that. Things were good talked on the phone spent sat or sunday with each other took a trip together than all of a sudden the calls got fewer and fewer. I asked if everything was ok he says yes but work is stressfull. Im like ok understandable I am here if you need to talk. Than a week after my birthday i could feel it in the air he says I cant have a romantic relationship with you right now what why he clams hes talking to another girl who works with him and he has dated in the past. I was shocked, hurt felt used. Do I give him space? Do i send short texts to let him know hey hi ? Im just confused with so many questions. I dont want to loose a friend but I dont wont to feel like i lost my best friend either
Hi.he generaly doesnt like to answere the questions. what can i do?
Love this...
Oh boy!! LOL did this hit my situation square on the head!! And confirmed EVERYTHING I did was right. After about a month of VERY sporatic contact weather in text or me driving over there. (We live in a very small town) I would try exhaustingly to get him to respond. He would in very short responses. (I feel to appease me) Then finally after I felt that he probably thought I was bordering on being a bit crazy by the way I'd try to get a hold of him he sent me a text and said all 3 of your points. I told him "you know ALL of this could have been avoided if he would have communicated what he just said when he started feeling this way." and I am thinking that it is totally unfait on his part to act like he is all in and then totally do a 180 and a about-face. and expect me to figure it out!! Then he used on me something that I told him I used when I last dated someone local and there is a chance we'd run into each other. I said to him (my ex) to save on it being awkward "lets keep it amicalable". SOOOO he sends me the said text and then fast forward to that evening I see him out WITH HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND. Do you think he felt the need to send that text because he knew he was going to be going out that night with her and there was a chance I'd be out? I think ABSOLUTELY!! I am so over it!! Yes it hurts like hell. I am getting to old for these games!! LOL Thank you Mat for validating my feelings!!
A man pulls away he can fudge off. His loss!!! Why do we have to do everything in a relationship?
I have not been dating anyone in well over four years. What do you mean? I don't have a love life, nor have I dated in years.
I say if he pulls away. LET HIM. He is doing you a favour by showing that he can't handle a relationship.
i love your content but if i need to teach someone not to completely stop texting when foarming a relationship, we have a problem. at the begining the other person needs to be consistant.
Let him go wherever he wants if he love someone then let him be don't chaze him You have your own life do it and be carefree.
I have a question? I've been getting closer to my dentist, he's been having me come to his office to meet him at his lunch break to have coffee together. For my birthday his bought me candy for a gift and told me he never buys anything for anyone so I should feel lucky he likes me! For his birthday we was meeting because I told him I have something for him...when I got there he was sitting in his car, told me to come sit with him. After giving him his gift he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. We were talking and laughing then he got quiet, I asked if he was ok. He answered back with "when I breathe my heart hurts" I wasn't sure how to answer him :( Not sure if he is interested in me! What should I do?
Something don’t seem right there
He likes you