Mom started acting weird towards her son after her husband left? Yeah, mom wanted her son to be a replacement husband. Honestly, OP should still dump her bf. The fact that the MIL said even more hurtful things behind her back, which the fiance was aware of but did nothing about, proves even more how spineless he is.
I dated a mama's boy once. The final nail in the coffin was when he promised to come to my mom's birthday party but right when he was about to get in the subway his mom called him and made him come back. While he was absent she decided to rearrange their storage, knocked up a few things and forced him to come back to help her. He chose a damn storage over me. There were also instances where she would call him non stop during our rare dates out demanding he comes home. Mind you he was 26 at the time.
@Kat_Drawz lmao yeah. There were lots of red flags I ignored tbh. Like he dated a 14 yo when he was 18. Not only is it wrong by itself but he also cheated on her. Ultimate garbage.
Debbie is trying to get the wedding she never got with her son as the proxy for her husband. I hope she gets the mental help she clearly needs because holy sh*t if Debbie got her way with the wedding a whole bunch of people would've assumed she gr00med her own son which would've led to the death of her social life if not legal troubles.
"It's just a dress" NO, it's not just a dress. The MIL wants to wear a WHITE DRESS to her future DIL and son's WEDDING! How did he not see how wrong that would look to everyone else. There was never any peace to keep because of MIL.
It’s so frustrating when MILs treat their son like a possession instead of letting him live his own life. You didn’t ‘steal’ anyone-love isn’t theft. I hope your fiancé supports you and sets boundaries because you deserve respect, not hostility.
Ok. Ops fiance is a giant red flag. Op is fighting for a doomed relationship. The future MIL will always find a way to get to John. And he will eventually cave. I think Op needs to run for the hills. This is her future. Run, girl.
Everyone is saying OPs fiancé is a red flag but he literally admitted he was wrong and stood up for OP? Sometimes people don’t know the web of toxic behavior they have fallen into until someone points it out to them. As someone who was married to an abusive husband I did not realize how toxic he was until people started pointing it out that what he was doing was NOT normal. Luckily I had the courage to leave but some people get into this auto pilot of trying to avoid conflict they don’t notice how their brains turn to mush from the stress and they miss red flags. If he continues to better himself he isn’t a the red flag.
For some people it was too little too late. I mean he would let his mother shit talk her behind her back and then not even say anything to his fiancée. People have every right to call him a coward and continue to judge him even after he did the right thing. There’s no doubt his mother is manipulative and abused him with emotional incest and I hope he gets some kind of help for himself, but it’s fair game to not fully trust him after confronting her once. Personally I think he’ll come out of this a better person and a better partner but only time will tell
At least he now realizes how crazy his mother is, how creepy and manipulative she is, and how much she needs to be institutionalized. He's on the road to healing.
I'm glad OP postponed the wedding by at least one year, because even though John is seemingly going to try to change and to stand up to his mother I am almost convinced that eventually she will worm her way back into his life and she will convince John that OP is the problem. She will try to poison John against OP, and because John is as weak and easily manipulated as he is, chances are she will succeed. He will start talking to and visiting his mom behind OP's back and when OP finds out he will explode at OP and all the venom his mother has filled him with will come pouring out. Honestly, OP might be better off just dumping him now, rather than to risk a much more painful blowup later.
I'm not convinced that OP's fiance is completely redeemed. When they have a baby MIL is going to get way worse. Is he really worth putting up with crazy considering all he let slide already? This reminds me of that show on TLC with the crazy MILS -- 'I Love a Mama's Boy.' The fact that he thought it was nbd to walk down the aisle with his Mom in a white dress like they were getting married and relegating OP to pretty much being a bridesmaid is such a red flag.
What bothers me the most is how many males are unable to tell their mother when something is unacceptable. We need to empower men as much as women when it comes to establishing boundaries. They need a vocabulary and a script for discussing things. We give them nothing to work with. Just because women are more verbal doesn't mean men shouldn't learn the language of intelligent negotiation too. We need to be able to understand each other...like we need a third language just for negotiation (as in: women already know culturally how to talk to other women; men to other men; but we need to establish a third way, being able to talk intelligibly to the opposite sex without people thinking this is somehow an unmasculine behavior for men or too bold for women).
It's nothing to do with not having a wedding or being left by her husband, it's about control. Classic narcissist who not only enjoys getting her way but it coming at a cost to others.
literally bless that friend who said op's man was cringey- i felt the same. he was about to let his mom walk down the aisle 🤢
Mom started acting weird towards her son after her husband left?
Yeah, mom wanted her son to be a replacement husband.
Honestly, OP should still dump her bf. The fact that the MIL said even more hurtful things behind her back, which the fiance was aware of but did nothing about, proves even more how spineless he is.
Idek why hg thought it was a good idea to get back with him.
Right? He scapegoated his mom but the real issue is he trusts literally everyone else over his future wife.
I dated a mama's boy once. The final nail in the coffin was when he promised to come to my mom's birthday party but right when he was about to get in the subway his mom called him and made him come back. While he was absent she decided to rearrange their storage, knocked up a few things and forced him to come back to help her. He chose a damn storage over me. There were also instances where she would call him non stop during our rare dates out demanding he comes home. Mind you he was 26 at the time.
I’m sorry- HE WAS 26. Wow..
@Kat_Drawz ikr?
@ I would’ve thought maybe like 16 or something but 26? You dodged a bullet
@Kat_Drawz lmao yeah. There were lots of red flags I ignored tbh. Like he dated a 14 yo when he was 18. Not only is it wrong by itself but he also cheated on her. Ultimate garbage.
@ wait, did his mom know he was dating a 14 yo at 18
Debbie is trying to get the wedding she never got with her son as the proxy for her husband. I hope she gets the mental help she clearly needs because holy sh*t if Debbie got her way with the wedding a whole bunch of people would've assumed she gr00med her own son which would've led to the death of her social life if not legal troubles.
"It's just a dress" NO, it's not just a dress. The MIL wants to wear a WHITE DRESS to her future DIL and son's WEDDING! How did he not see how wrong that would look to everyone else. There was never any peace to keep because of MIL.
It’s so frustrating when MILs treat their son like a possession instead of letting him live his own life. You didn’t ‘steal’ anyone-love isn’t theft. I hope your fiancé supports you and sets boundaries because you deserve respect, not hostility.
Ok. Ops fiance is a giant red flag. Op is fighting for a doomed relationship. The future MIL will always find a way to get to John. And he will eventually cave. I think Op needs to run for the hills. This is her future. Run, girl.
Everyone is saying OPs fiancé is a red flag but he literally admitted he was wrong and stood up for OP? Sometimes people don’t know the web of toxic behavior they have fallen into until someone points it out to them. As someone who was married to an abusive husband I did not realize how toxic he was until people started pointing it out that what he was doing was NOT normal. Luckily I had the courage to leave but some people get into this auto pilot of trying to avoid conflict they don’t notice how their brains turn to mush from the stress and they miss red flags. If he continues to better himself he isn’t a the red flag.
For some people it was too little too late. I mean he would let his mother shit talk her behind her back and then not even say anything to his fiancée. People have every right to call him a coward and continue to judge him even after he did the right thing. There’s no doubt his mother is manipulative and abused him with emotional incest and I hope he gets some kind of help for himself, but it’s fair game to not fully trust him after confronting her once. Personally I think he’ll come out of this a better person and a better partner but only time will tell
Incesto emocional?
___________________
Emotional incest?
Yup
Textbook case
At least he now realizes how crazy his mother is, how creepy and manipulative she is, and how much she needs to be institutionalized. He's on the road to healing.
I'm glad OP postponed the wedding by at least one year, because even though John is seemingly going to try to change and to stand up to his mother I am almost convinced that eventually she will worm her way back into his life and she will convince John that OP is the problem. She will try to poison John against OP, and because John is as weak and easily manipulated as he is, chances are she will succeed. He will start talking to and visiting his mom behind OP's back and when OP finds out he will explode at OP and all the venom his mother has filled him with will come pouring out. Honestly, OP might be better off just dumping him now, rather than to risk a much more painful blowup later.
I'm not convinced that OP's fiance is completely redeemed. When they have a baby MIL is going to get way worse. Is he really worth putting up with crazy considering all he let slide already? This reminds me of that show on TLC with the crazy MILS -- 'I Love a Mama's Boy.'
The fact that he thought it was nbd to walk down the aisle with his Mom in a white dress like they were getting married and relegating OP to pretty much being a bridesmaid is such a red flag.
What bothers me the most is how many males are unable to tell their mother when something is unacceptable. We need to empower men as much as women when it comes to establishing boundaries. They need a vocabulary and a script for discussing things. We give them nothing to work with. Just because women are more verbal doesn't mean men shouldn't learn the language of intelligent negotiation too. We need to be able to understand each other...like we need a third language just for negotiation (as in: women already know culturally how to talk to other women; men to other men; but we need to establish a third way, being able to talk intelligibly to the opposite sex without people thinking this is somehow an unmasculine behavior for men or too bold for women).
It's nothing to do with not having a wedding or being left by her husband, it's about control. Classic narcissist who not only enjoys getting her way but it coming at a cost to others.
The mother in law's relationship w/ her son seems emotionally incestuous ngl-
well it isn't?
Yes please take more from the r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit, lots of gold there
Déjà vu, not déjà vous.
oof… parentification ://
🌛🌛
31 seconds and 0 views, bro fell off
this isnt tiktok lil bro