Narcissistic, Much? This is How You Spot a Covert Narcissist!
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- Опубліковано 26 жов 2024
- Is there a thin line between narcissism and confidence? We dive into our experience with covert narcissistic people and how we handle them!
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#narcissism #confidence #relationships
Shout out to all the daughters who grew up with a narcissistic mother and made it out alive. I salute you.
Oh I was just thinking about : what if the parent is a narcissist? I think my father was one for sure, so glad I quit that relationship at 16.
amen
💜🎃😊🤘
Whoooo I was just thinking about this.
Literally!!!!!
this convo felt kinda surface level because narcissism is so much more deeper than the things they mentioned. Loni was definitely on the right track with her comment. Y'all should bring on a therapist like Dr. Ramani, cause when you actually learn about what narcissism is, especially after being a victim of narcissistic abuse, your mind will be blown !
It’s a 5 min segment, how deep did you expect them to go?
Love Dr.Ramini
@@PureSparkles22 Same here. She's great. Helped me a lot 💜
I love Dr. Ramani!
live doc Damani
Narcissists are drawn to people pleasers. The easiest way to get rid of one is to literally tell them you see through their bullshit and that they are not as special as they think they are. A narcissist will have absolutely no use for you if your not feeding their ego
This is one million percent my father. He can be wrong as two left shoes, but you have to apologize to him. He's an asshole. I love him to death cause he is my dad, but he is a bona fide narcissist.
I agree, but loni said you can help a sociopath through therapy and while this may help them understand their lack of emotion, you cannot really help a sociopath
@@ladysinger84 my dad is the exact same
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@saarahkabal6995 It's sad. My dad and I haven't spoken since November of last year. I had to cut him off and love him from afar.
I grew up with a narcissist mother. It’s been so hard, I always thought that I was never good enough but now that I’m older I realize that I’m good enough and I’ve always been good enough.
Good for you sis! 👏💖💪 I'm ten years into therapy and still struggling to remember that. Stay strong 💖
what were the signs she was a narcissist in your opinion ?
Yes honey! I did too and I had to let her go and I’ve been the happiest since.
@@bathroomdiaries5393 Good question. Interested to hear (read) the answer as I have been witnessing some things in another household that don't sit right.
It’s so hard when it’s a parent. It’s really difficult.
I really wish they had a therapist on to discuss this topic because its slightly harmful to talk about these things with misinformation. A therapist would be able to explain the difference between grandiose narcissism vs covert narcissism vs psychopathy (very different). I think Loni was the most helpful discussing this. Also, I agree with some of the other comments that Jeannies mom is most likely a narcissist (of course due to her trauma)-but specifically a grandiose narcissist, not covert.
Garcelle in particular clearly doesn't really have a grasp on what narcissism actually is. Being cocky doesn't make someone a narcissist.
@@volcrazy89 i felt the same way at first but i think she was just sharing a funny side story while the topic was on narcissism
@@zoweed420 Yeah I took it as her saying “slight chance I may have one on my hands” lol
I’m not sure I agree with that because the point of this show is to deal with everyday conversations we have. The average person has these conversations with the ti friends and family you don’t need to be a psychiatrist to have very generic every day conversations
@@benb4481 Except narcissistic personality disorder is actually a psychiatric disorder. So if they aren't going to educate themselves on the topic, then they don't need to discuss it. "Covert narcissism" isn't a "very generic, every day conversation", it's a topic on something very specific in the realm of psychology.
Loni speaks the truth. Love how she breaks it down with examples. Loni looks GREAT this season.
I’m trying to steal her outfit
@@denieraadams4924 she’s been looking extra beautiful this season 🥰
I just exited a relationship with someone who was both a narcissist AND a sociopath. LORD HAVE MERCY, I’m so glad I’m done with that. Hardest four years of my life.
Good for you I been two years strong no contact
Yesss! Good for you 😊😊!!! Onto better things now.
@@morganstewart3558 absolutely and it was crazy the day after I cut off my homegirl from school I immediately got blessed with 1,0000 dollars health was back to normal.
I’m so happy for you! That’s good! ❤️
Was it hard to leave? What helped you leave? I know someone who is in this situation. Because of all the gaslighting she isn’t fully convinced he is a sociopath. Also, they break up and make up. I just want her to leave him for good. Please send some tips to help her.
My mom is a narsassist. I've known this for years after therapy. There's a book called "Mother's who can't love: A Healing Guide for daughters" written by this amazing therapist. It doesn't just cover narsassistic mother's, it's pretty wide range. The first half explains the different types of toxic mother's and the second half teaches you how to heal. It really just helped me understand my mom better and realize her behaviors were a result of who she is and had nothing to do with who I am.
Actually narcissist arent confident, deeply they're very insecure people. Thats why you have grandiose narcissists eg. They act as if they were the greatest thing ever to balance and hide their insecurities
Exactly. That's the lie they're trying so desperately to make ppl believe, that they're so confident when they're the exact opposite
Yes yes yes.
Please have dr Ramani come on the show!!!! She said therapy for narcs is like dieting but instead ofwatching what you eat they have to watch their own thoughts. She was on red table talk
She’s great! I’ve learned so much from her. They should bring her on.
@@allthingsbeauty9175 Same! I love her!
YEEEEESSS!!! Love her!!
YES because there is so much to narccissism than discussed here. It's dangerous to assume it's simple to discuss.
My entire life is full of them. I was recently told I am an empath. I am currently in therapy to overcome the trauma and CPTSD from these awful people. Thank you so much for discussing this topic. It needs and deserves so much more exposure!
Me as well whew it’s a lot picking up so many feelings
What exactly is an empath?
Y’all need a whole segment on this topic. This subject very layered.
I also heard that covert narcissists can be shy and soft-spoken, not just outgoing and charming manipulators.
Spot on
Chris Watts
They lead with a sob story to make u feel sorry for them. RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!
True
@@PureSparkles22 They wait for you to talk and then just mimic what you say to make you feel a connection. Run!
Wanna hit a narcissist where it hurts? Ignore them 🤣
I know that's right. 🤭🤣
Yup No Contact 😂
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I think you guys should have Dr. Ramani on the show. She is a therapist who specializes in Narcissism and can specify the difference between Narcissism and someone being a sociopath. As a person who was raised by a Narcissistic mother and later dealt with a Narcissistic/Sociopath in a romantic relationship…I can tell you that Narcissism is a lot more sinister than being full of yourself.
I dealt with a narcissist for a year in a half. It’s been a whole year since I haven’t been in contact with him and I honestly have not felt more free and at peace🥰 It’s crazy because before I even got into the relationship, I was getting all these signs and red flags, but I just ignored it. But that’s what happens when you’re so young and think you know what love is. I’m just so happy that I had God on my side the whole time to get me through it. I honestly feel like me going through that situation helped me get closer to God. If anyone around my age, or any age for that matter, is dealing with a narcissist right now…please please please get out!!! It’s not worth your time. A narcissist will say that they’ll change but it’s always the same old story. They will say and do anything to get you back under their skin
Same! I am glad you got out. I got out too after 9 years & I am so much more happy now. If you see red flags & are treated poorly run.
Had the exact same experience!! word for word
💯
Stay away! Let him find another victim.
@@irinab2456 same here...I might as well have written this comment😅😅💯💯
Narcissists are not only cocky but super toxic. Oh my word.
But we praise Gucci Mane relationship🙄. A person that openly admits he is a narcissist
I used to cry all the time and wondered why I kept attracting Narcissists. I never understood why we were friends because I wasn't like them at all. Earlier this year, I realized that I was preyed on because I'm an empath. I was basically manipulated, abused and used to fuel their narcissism. I have changed.
And dont feel bad that you are an empath. You can be an empath with discernment!
Same!!!! It’s so good to know the truth of who you are and who they are 👍❤️❤️ it gets better after that!
How did you chang please?
@@oneof7billion627I changed by learning how to say no, standing my ground, not falling for their gaslighting, and becoming less available. Because of that, they are nicer to me. Narcissist love people they can use, bully, and manipulate. They love to use empaths to feed their narcissism. NEVER make a narcissist your only option because they will feel like they are doing you a favor and will abuse you. Also, always be in relationships with people who value you, not just tolerate you.
@@jackiereacts7201 thank you for this ! I’m the same, I always give whole heartedly. But unfortunately it was to the wrong person. I’ve dealt with a narcissist over making fake accusations about me . Going around telling people that I’m not a good person so she formed friendships over not liking me. Now I have changed, that making new friends is a struggle because that’s how I met this narcissistic person. I now keep my circle small and stick to myself for my own inner peace. Narcissistic people really need help.
I’m glad these conversations are happening in main stream media. Dating a narcissist was the worst 3 months of my life. The way they pull you in and when they got you they turn into abusive monsters. A lot of women marry these guys. I’m so glad I got away. Me and the other 3 women who he proposed to before me.
There is no saving a narcissist. Run, heal yourself and don’t look back. The live in their own reality.
Mama Mai is a narcissist Jeannie should know. Mama Mai pushes herself always in the Center of attention. Go watch the Video on Jeannies Channel the Fight . Mama Mai really Acts toxic towards Jeannie in so many Situations (only her Not her Brothers) and always Favour her sons. No Matter what Jeannie is doing its Not enough. When her own mother told her she wouldnt come to the Wedding and will Not call her daughter anymore, or Said Jeannie is the devil. I knew Mamma Mai has a really big Problem.
I'm not saying this to defend her or anything but let's not psychoanalyze/label individuals who we do not know. Okay
Hands down. When the pregnancy announcement happened for a long while mama Mai only post comments and post that had something to do with her. When Jeezy does something for Jeannie mama Mai always ask what about her. People use to be in her comments reminding her that Jeannie is in a new relationship and to give them some space. I remember her clapping back saying she's the mother it's cultural for the mom to always be around. This is just to name a few. She has to be the center of attention AT ALL TIMES. examples her fashion and loudness. If you think it's just fashion you're wrong. It''s more of "look at me" I'm here type thing. If you've been following them for a while you'll know she's insufferable but well loved by many.
Facts!
@@djm2985 i don’t think that relationship is on good terms… is it fair to say Jeanine is a narcissist as well? Like mother like daughter
@@SunshineShortiee maybe, but I think Jeezy, therapy, and her being so busy with her own aspirations has helped Jeannie to calm down a bit.
I just woke up one day and realized my friend was a cover narcissist. She was taker and I was the giver, but it was because of her victim mentality. She would swear she was doing something for me, but she was taking. When it came down to taking accountability for her behavior the relationships dissolved. Her mom was pretty narcissistic, so I don’t know how much of it was from her own unhealed trauma.
The narcissist won’t even realize anything is wrong until most people tell them and do something about it and not just let it ride - they will never be aware as they go on basking in all of there imaginary greatness and perfectness. Usually it makes people nervous to do this or uncomfortable especially in friendships, to Loni’s great point….. Narcissists can act very nice and are usually very charming people too…. They seem very likable and love the right attention to feed their narcissistic supply and control.
If you don’t see stability, helpfulness (where it matters) , pure honesty & fair give and take in people BEWARE
Yall living up to this shows name this season okurrrr.. This topic is so necessary
Yaaaaaaas
Please have licensed clinicians on the show to discuss the nuances of these conditions. Spreading hearsay, anecdotal stories, opinions and misinformation can be very damaging.
I hope they read this comment.
Yes.
Thank you!!
Narcissist love making you fall in love and then suddenly, they turn dry on you. And you as the victim run after them trying to get that person back that you fell in love with.And yes, they can sniff out an empath in a second. They get off on your pain and tears. They will get you in debt. They love no one but themselves. They think they are the smartest people in the room. As a survivor you will need counseling. A narcissist will never admit to begin one, so counseling will not help them.
You are so right! I had a therapist tell me and my narcissist husband I need to move back in with him in order to sort things out. Right then and there, I knew therapy will not work. Glad I was at a point where I understood what was going on with him. Narcissist will convince a therapist, sadly. I thought THEY were supposed to be the professionals. And if they don't convince them, they won't take any of the advice into consideration. It's in one ear and out the other like you never went.
Everything you said is so true! 🙌🏾
@@Iamsonotmyhair Glad you didn't take the therapist advice and stay!
My brother widow is a narcissist. She is my former best friend. She was fun and outgoing at first and over time I noticed some of her selfish ways but I ignored them because she was so fun the majority of the time but when I got married she slowly started to get worse. She began to get angry if I couldn’t hang out with her as much as I used to when I had my first child and have little tantrums and give me the silent treatment then she eventually started to date my brother and when they got married and had the first child her mask really came off. She caused so much drama. She didn’t want my brother coming around the family would tell him all he needed was her. Would try to control his every move and use the baby to try to manipulate him. Would physically attack him. She caused him so much stress I believe that’s what caused his cancer. He passed away a couple of years ago. Guess what? The same family she didn’t want him around she’s constantly around now. I have nothing to do with her she’s so toxic. I had to cut ties.
You just described my ex to the T.
Making meaningful progress in therapy with narcissists is notoriously difficult, though, because all effective therapy begins with the client accepting that something about them needs to be improved and changed. When narcissists do go to therapy, often to avoid legal or social consequences, they many times just view it as a game of "besting" the therapist, fooling them and proving they are superior.
Yep!
Absolutely!
Narcissism is much more than finding yourself more important than other people. And convert narcissism is even more dangerous. Dr. Ramani Durvasula would be an excellent guest to have for this. It was a little irresponsible to discuss this topic and not understand the weight of covert narcissism or what exactly it is. Gaslighting, isolation, manipulation, etc are the things that a covert narcissist accomplishes and very well.
So glad others are also recommending to invite Dr Ramani!
Loni provided the most accurate and basic definition. There is healthy narcissism (which everyone has to a degree) but then there is pathological narcissistic personality disorder which is a type B classification recognized in the DSM5 (Diagnostics and Statistical manual of mental disorders). While I’m studying psychology now, I didn’t know such disorders existed (as many people are unaware until they cross paths someone who has it). The enticement is scary because it works by the use of strategical constant manipulation (this is why empaths are primary targets just as Adrienne mentioned) and leaves a victim almost completely broken physically, mentally, and spiritually. I find that one of the most unfortunate realities with this disorder is that it’s usually the manifestation of unresolved trauma from early on in the attachment stages (before ages 1 & 2) then progressively gets worse when left unchecked and most people with this condition usually rarely get diagnosed. My hearts out to anyone who has ever loved someone with this one cuz coming back from that is far from easy. 💞🙏🏽
Loni is right about it being in friendships as well. Not just relationships
Thier own co host is that person Jeannie mai.
@@debrarandall6874 what is narcissistic about Jeannie?
I had a girlfriend like that which really was my husband's friends girlfriend at the time. It was constant one-upping but it never bothered me. I just got used to it and placated towards it. Yes it was tiring to listen to literal fantasies in her head and lies but it's just nearly impossible to be friends with somebody like that bottom line. Lonnie is right again
My ex husband was a sociopath literally would cheat on me even had kids on me and he would not feel anything when I was hurt or crying. Only time he seemed like he cared was when I would leave. Then the next guy was a long term relationship and he was a covert narcissist. I felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time if I did or said something wrong. And said it was me who caused him anxiety and stress. He didn’t like that I was more outgoing than him and would belittle my success. I am an empath and didn’t know these type of people existed til after the fact. I’m honestly scared of dating now, haven’t dated since I left the narcissist at the start of pandemic 2020. Thank you for talking about these topics.
I have child with a narcissist and when I was pregnant you couldn’t imagine the mental abuse I went through
Same 😔
Same here
Sorry you went through that. Can you please elaborate? I may have gone through something similar
I feel like what Garcelle described is more Conceit than Narcissism. Narcissism is a personality/mental disorder and is definitely a spectrum. I dealt with my ex for 12 years and he was a narcissist and sociopath. I didn’t understand I was being abused until I got out of it. He was definitely covert but in a malign way. Glad I left❤️❤️
Please take this segment with a grain of salt. The ladies are not professionals and throwing around these terms loosely without any actual knowledge about it can cause harm and misinformation.
It is human nature to be selfish and boastful to a certain degree and there is a significant difference between being narcissist and self-absorbed and those having a mental illness or the pathology of narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissism is not necessarily good or bad, but it depends on the circumstances, contexts and the outcomes being measured.
Narcissism, in and of itself, is a normal personality trait, however, high levels of narcissistic behavior can be damaging and self-distructive. Destructive narcissism is the constant exhibition of a few of the intense characteristics usually associated with pathological narcissistic personality disorder. On a spectrum, destructive narcissism is more extreme than common narcissism but not as extreme as the pathological condition.
Psychologists currently think of narcissism as a "continuum" that goes from "deficient" to "healthy" to "pathological", with healthy and destructive narcissism as stopping-points.
Don't mix common use of the word narcissism in popular culture with the term in psychology.
Your last point is so important! I'm sick of hearing so many people throw the word narcissist around and applying it to anyone for anything. When you've actually experienced narcissism over a long period, especially from a parent or partner, then you don't throw that word around so carelessly. I had a friend call me a narcissist because we disagreed on whether an item in front of us was blue or green.
There’s noooo cure, it’s hard for them to even acknowledge something is even wrong with them because they think they are perfect. It’s hard to diagnose. They don’t like the word no, Will make you seem like everything is your fault, be little in a very passive aggressive manner, and soooo much more
I dated a guy for about 4 years that was a narcissist. Man did he lure me in, wined and dined me at least 3-4 times a week, etc. I thought we were in love. Over time, I faded out and he became the center of the relationship and no matter how I tried to express my emptiness; somehow he was able to blame me. I eventually began seeing narcistic traits and began seeing him less and less until I made sure he faded from my life. It was one of the hardest relationships to get out of because he would return to the wining and dining when I threatened to leave; making me believe he was going to change. People you deserve better. Don't get caught up in this type of yo-yo relationship and waste your time. We all deserve better.
I would love for them to talk more about these type of topics. I had never heard of a dismissive avoidant attachment until a few years ago and learning about that has opened my mind so much. A lot of narcissists have a dismissive avoidant attachment.
I work with a narcissist and used to see a narcissist briefly, they are charming and truly self absorbed, it's all about them and they never do wrong in their own eyes. They exaggerate on accomplishments for sure, boasting about sexul partners they've had as an example or work accomplishments
Narcissism is much deeper than what most of them mentioned. Loni was on point when mentioned that therapy and treatment by a mental health specialist would be a start. They need to bring Dr. Ish from Marriage Boot Camp or someone like that on to discuss narcissism and the difference between being a sociopath and being a psychopath.
He’s the WORST no
Narcissists fool even the therapist so no it would not be smart. There is no cure.
@@thruthemotions no one said that there was a cure. Why would a narcissist see a therapist if they believe that they can or will fool a therapist? Please stop talking ✋🏾.
@@TheHonorableAngelinaNordstrom Im thinking youre referring to couples therapy. And narcissists are unaware that they're narcissist so I think its funny how you actually think Loni is right. I think the victim of narcissism should see a therapist. But not the narc. Please stop talking.
I’m a nail tech and I met a therapist while doing her nails, she told me my boyfriend was a narcissist and she said Therapy can not help them or change them, because a Narcissist have it in their mind, that their always right, even the therapist is wrong…. So there’s no help, she said either you accept them for who they are or walk away…
I'm glad you guys mentioned this because normally covert narcissism goes underneath the radar. I was married to a covert narcissist for 5 years. When I 1st met him, he was the nicest thing can be. He was so thoughtful and he mirrored everything I liked and wanted to do. He would even go as far as to buy me things in order to impress me. The day we got married everything changed and I found myself constantly trying to figure out how I could get that original person back. The truth was, those things he was doing for me before were never rooted in his character to begin with. It was very hard because I knew something was mentally wrong was with him I just couldn't put it in words but narcissism kept coming up. I thought to myself how could he be a narcissist when he has low self esteem and he is seemingly nice to other people all the time. It was kind of scary because once I looked into covert narcissism my ex pretty much fit that description to a "T". He was moving the relationship really fast and he made it a point to get me as far away from my family and any support system as possible. He also never apologized for anything.
I'm sorry.
if they dont have the specific knowledge or a trained professional giving the definitions, they shouldnt play with those terms because it could really be dangerous as there are some people who believe anything they see on tv. Narcissistic personality disorder is not something random people can just call out and give others that title with just two random characteristics, very irresponsible of The Real.
I think they were trying to be informative, but they needed a professional for this.
Raja, I agree with you. There are so many people who misunderstand just how deep narcissism goes and how dangerous it can be.
Dr. Ramani has done such excellent work on this subject.
I really wish Loni had a chance to speak without interruption on this topic. She was giving examples and making such sense and then the discussion just became silly and superficial. Perfect example of the loudest in the room isn't necessarily the wisest. It is ok to sit back when you don't know much about a topic...yes even on a chat show!
Loni's info was not correct either. And that is the problem I have with this segment. I Am a mental health professional and this segment was a disservice to anyone who think they are dealing with this or may be one....
I ended a friendship of many years with a narcissist. She treated others horribly. In her mind, she was amazing. She could be very nice and charming if she wanted to be but would have these episodes of rage, meanness etc that I ignored because I wanted the friendship. She would always make every convo about herself when I was talking and I got the sense she was saying bad things behind my back. She couldn't be happy for others and would always try to one up me with any accomplishment I had. I now will always judge a person by their bad behavior.
I can relate to this situation. They make themselves seem so superior to others and would think everyone is trying to be them and copy them. Think that everyone wants their life. Form groups over not liking people but would straight up be fake right in front of the people they backstab. Judging others over daily conversations making you feel uncomfortable , that they could be judging you as well. Narcissistic behaviour is so toxic. When you feel like you’re getting judged , HUGE RED FLAG! Leave before it gets worst and next thing you know it , you become the victim. Because that’s exactly what happened to me.
This! I was in one for decades and had no idea because I had known this person since I was a little girl. I could never see the truth growing up in a Christian household and being told to love everyone despite their flaws and to never judge a person. However, I was never taught how to love myself. Had I known that, maybe I would have been able to avoid the pain, rejection, and hurt I felt for years from this person. The friendship ended 7 months ago and honestly, I have never felt this happy and free in my whole life.
My covert narcissist would go tell everyone what he did to me, like I was doing it. Reverse the stories. So when I eventually left ppl were mad at me. While I was scared to death of him. Meeting new ppl is still scary to this day, that they might know him. Sooo smart. So cunning. I’m moving luckily next month. ANY therapist will tell you, never go against a narcissist. ‘Cause they would do things you wouldn’t even think of. RUN!!
It's called the smear campaign. They're often doing it while you're still with them! That way they always appear as the innocent one when you leave.
Agreed and I have the same fear. The smear campaign is REAL.
This conversation hit me so hard. I went through this last year and I didn't even realize that it was narcissism, manipulation, and gaslighting until about 5 months ago. I'm glad I learned my lesson.
I have a story
"Margie" married a covert narcissist "Julius"
He showed her companionship, family,tenderness and how to love again. On their wedding night he went jackal and Hyde (so to speak) and it continued into their 3 year anniversary. "Margie dealt with this by isolating, researching, soul working, going to therapy, going to school counseling every week, talking to friends and family, recreating herself and ultimately being able to show up for her babygirl day after day; same pain different day.
Now ending with a break up, separation and a divorce in the making. Margie wins and the covert narcissist can go lie to himself i stead of her, can manipulate himself instead of her, can go be cheap with himself instead of her. Fin.
Thank you for reading this, I usually never share anything.
🥰🥰🥰🥰
The ones people have to really watch out for are the priests, preachers, and holy rollers. The ones that do “good” or “give back” to the community 😅🥴 Behind closed doors them folks be trifling
I cried in front of someone who turned out to be a covert narcissist and he said “I know I’m not crying but I’m hurting inside...” when he said that my tears dried up so fast and reflected on my emotions in that moments and redirected my energy. The was no point because he just told me in his way that he doesn’t care. That was when he switched to it being about “us” to me helping him. That didn’t last for long
Wow I love that Adrienne said that narcissist's prey on empathetic people and that is sooooo true ....I grew up with a narcissist for a step dad
Always love you all! Would it be possible for this to be a topic again with a guest therapist who specializes in this? I love the information the ladies had, but I would like an extension to the science of it
@Queen queen Yes, these type of people can be very damaging!
Adrienne hit it right on the head. I’m an empath and sadly have had these painful experiences with narcissistic people. But… I got smart! 😉 So Praise the Lord!🙏🏽🙌🏽👏🏽
I wasted my time dating one for a year. They are very charismatic and intelligent. They have a way of sucking you in before you realize they are only words, no action. I should have listed to my gut as it was screaming the whole time.. something is off about this man. He would exaggerate his achievements and believe he was better than everyone. I had to make some of the most difficult choices as a woman in my life dating this man and took a long time to heal. Fun fact, these types of people are RAISED to become narcissist.
Yes!!! they are RAISED to be narcissists.
Like Obama
Ladies of the real, you should check out the Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett-Smith!! There’s an episode about narcissists and they act out examples of what the many forms look like! Super informative and revealing
There’s a family that my family have been friends with my whole life. The mom is definitely a narcissist and she passed it onto her kids. I actually work with one of them and he literally acts like he’s a gift to the workplace and always has to point out his work and the things he does right. Narcissists also bring others down to lift themselves up. They will point out your flaws, sometimes unprovoked, when they are feeling down on themselves.
I have personal experience with a similar situation. I’m so glad I got away from it.
I just broke up with one. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
There is so much information about narcissist that it will make your head spin. Narcissist lie a lot ,gaslight, and have very explosive rage if they don’t get what they want or have it their way. I was in a relationship with a narcissist for a long time before I knew what a narcissist was. The psychological abuse was so bad for me that it mad me sick and my anxiety got really bad. I have never experienced anxiety until I got in a relationship with this person. I would sweat and shake when it was almost time for him to come home. The. They will talk bad about you to other people and have them treat you differently. If something good happened to you they will try to do something to bring you down and feel bad. They push boundaries; such as if you tell them no you can’t come to my house they will show up anyway. Even if you don’t tell them where you live they will find out. The worst part of my relationship was the gaslighting and the fits of rage when he didn’t get his way even if I didn’t have nothing to do with it. He hated me so much that he didn’t want me to leave. But when I left I experienced the worst because he couldn’t find out where I live or get my phone number. We have a child together so I drop her off with his family to visit and communication is only down on emails to keep record of communication in case I have to use it in court someday. I’ve had to get the police involved multiple occasions for him.
I'm sorry.
I believe there are levels to narcissism. I'm know a narcissist. I have to correct him at times, like over talking or arguing over opinions. Or giving little to no reaction to something you're telling and all of a sudden going on and on about themselves. Getting angry when not winning a game, acting as if they weren't putting in effort to make themselves feel better and gives the impression that the other person is not supposed to win.
The person that was a covert narcissist actually told me that’s what he was one. He said he started going to therapy and the therapist told him this. They want to be on your mind alllll the time even if it’s through hurting you and he describes it as sucking the life out of you.
Auntie loni nailed it on the head
Narcissists aren’t necessarily confident in fact they lack confidence and healthy self esteem and mask it with confidence. Their goal is to control others around them and when things go wrong they gaslight the person and isolate them from the rest of the group (family, friends, coworkers). The answer to this is therapy but this is a tricky thing with narcissists because going to therapy would be an admission that they are not perfect and even though no one is, narcissists egos are very fragile and they have a hard time looking inward at their flaws which is why they developed narcissism in the first place (it’s a false mask to protect the damaged ego)
You summed this up perfectly!
I had a covert narcissist best friend, she faked empathy very well with her words and was very generous in the financial aspect but was very selfish and self centered. So she was ok with giving people things as along as she could use them as narcissistic supply. Honestly narcissistic people are actually very deeply insecure but arrogant all at the same time. For example my narcissistic friend always said that if she had the right opportunities then she would get far in life.
LORD JESUS....I'm dealing with this now..its so hard to deal with
I hope you will be able to move past your situation soon!
Do you experience emotional abuse? I hope your able to get out the relationship
@@aleesharenea8565 Did I......I finally found the strength to walk away!!!!! but like the narcissist his is..I'm the blame...I'm ok with it now...I'm DONE!!!!
Prayers & NO CONTACT 🙅🏽♀️
@@temesharadaniels226 ❤
My narcissist stories omg I have QUITE A FEW PERFECT EXAMPLES. As an empath myself, yes we do attract narcissists because we are easy prey😩So good.
They have no clue what they’re talking about. It’s way worse than this and you should educate yourself properly before speaking on it smh.
I hope that they do a follow-up on this topic, but have a certified therapist on. Dr. Raminov (sp) is an expert in narcissist's. There are many kinds.
It’s definitely far worse. A total nightmare
Don’t forget that there is a difference being a narcissist (mental condition) and acting narcissistic (aka acting selfish)
Yep, mental condition falls under cluster B for personality disorders
Yes, you're right. Some have narcissistic traits but not an actual disorder.
Right. And a lot of people don't understand that. They think that if someone is oblivious or selfish or vain, etc., that they're a narcissist. But NPD is beyond being a little selfish.
I use to be in a 8 year relationship and he was super toxic ! He would be angry every time I would talk about like my friends or family success like if someone bought a house or like someone got promotion at work ,he would always respond “ why do you care about that stuff ? It’s not your life! Why don’t you mind your own business and Care about your life instead . And every time I would watch one of my reality my shows he will be like “ why do you watch this ? Why do you care on what happens in their life ? It’s like he was threaten about someone else success ! I never understood what that meant when I started to look up what Narcissist means and I started to realize how bad his behaviour was 🤯
WOW. Hearing these stories really make me appreciate the few good friends and husband that I have. But at least now you know how to spot the signs. Wish you all the best in your future relationships.
How did you last that long with him?
so, I had an Ex . At First everything was great. super attentive and loving . after about 3 months of officially being together . I started noticing red flags. He would be loving and something would pop him off and he would start insulting me . Degrading me and trying to put me down. ( I'm not one to let myself ) so of course , we would be begin arguing . I would later start noticing the patterns . anytime he would pop off , was usually when something good would happen to me. from a raise to even my upbringing. He would call me a silver spoon kid , spoiled , and selfish when I am non of those things. what I have , I have worked for and I did not grow up spoiled. I come from a broken family whom came from nothing and whatever they do have now, has nothing to do with me. He didn't see it that way. he faked real life emergencies when things weren't going his way just get my attention. Anytime we were out somewhere he ALWAYS made it a point to make comments about how women were checking him out or men would side eye him . at first , i thought it was just to see how jealous i would get but quickly realized he was seeing things that weren't happening just to make himself feel more important and interesting . He cared so much about what he looked like, that a simple lint on his pants or sweater was the end of the world and it was always my fault. I Caught him laughing on occasions at other peoples expenses . he found it hilarious to see someone cry . He tried breaking into my house when i was trying to get away from him and stalked me for 6 months after I tried to end it. He would drive by my house always in different cars or park outside my house . so when i would get home , i would see the car . many time , i would have to turn around and leave back to my friends house in a panic that he would follow me . ( dumbass would do it in his family or " friends " vehicles thinking i was stupid and didn't know ) however made hard to report because it was never the same vehicle so it was hard to prove it . To go so far as to fake a car accident just to get me to leave because he was upset that i was out having a good time with my friends and he was home bored . PSYCHO ! i was at peace knowing he was in jail but got released yesterday so .. well see what happens next. yall need to be careful out there.
Girl...it felt like I could have wrote this myself!🫂 I am sooo sorry. You may think you are ok but get professional help. The effects of the abuse you received is real.
sucks to hear so many people with similar situations. Luckily his verbal abuse did nothing to me . i had been in a relationship couple years before him that did a number on me due to drug abuse that was kept hidden so by the time i met him , that was the reason i was able to catch red flags faster and i never fell in love with him. i just kept an eye out for it and when it became too much i bounced. what has me messed up is more of the abuse that came after such as the stalking . having that fear that he is watching me or will start trying to come around again now that he is out of jail . Looking over your shoulder every time you leave your hose is no way to live . I carry a taser with me every time i go anywhere just in case .
Wow. I'm sorry you went through this. Please be careful. I'll be praying for you safety, physical and spiritual. May God protect, cover, and hide you, preserve you and be your Refuge, so that your ex won't be able to see you or harm you ever again.
Get cameras in and outside your home, always carry pepperspray, heck for the next few months have someone you trust be able to track all your movements via your phone. That's a sociopath!
But he will NOT get to you. Be safe babe.
Praying for you girl , please stay safe 🙏🏾💔
As a Narc survivor I know this all too well, unfortunately. It's emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and sometimes financially draining. With social media there are more narcs running around here than you think. I truely undersatnd why a lot of therapists won't work with Narcissist cause sadly they are unable to change. IMO it's like thinking you can help a devil change into a good person lol
All I can say is that it's hard when that narcissist or sociopath is a family member... Run yall!! 😣
Especially if they're an immediate family member.
Especially when its your mother
Yessss
I was married to one for 30 years. At dating he was charming but once we got married it was dr Jeckle Mr Hyde. He made everything seem like it was my fault. I knew their was something wrong him. I just didn’t know the name for the jerk. Anyways happier now, but still feeling aftermath of the abuse. So if you know a narcissist RUN.
Omg, 30 years. I thank God I was freed from mine for like 16 years total. I wish I never married him, but I was young and didn't know what that hot and cold personality was and how he kept drawing me back in when I wasnt happy in it. Now anytime anyone describes a person as charming, my mind IMMEDIATELY goes to oh, he's a Narcissist.
Anyone in these comments the child of a narcissist? Just me? Lol
One thing I know: a narcissist will actively work to ruin any special occasion not about them. Birthdays, graduations, family reunions, weddings - all ruined.
Therapy can increase self-awareness of a narcissist but it won’t change them. RTT adresses it really well on one of their episodes.
I'm right there with you! Both parents are, several siblings also. I have been the scapegoat, almost my whole life. I've just recently figured this out. I feel very alone. My faith & close friendships, have meant so much to me.
As an empath, I can tell you narcs are everywhere. Sociopaths are too. It's funny when they meet me. They automatically dislike me and distance themselves because they know I know 🤣😂 It's like holding up a mirror. They don't like it.
FACTS LOL
Holding a mirror but dont they like their own mirror reflection like alot
Holing up a mirror...meaning exposing them. Their exposed reflection.
I’ve had that same experience.
I actually want to get there as an empath. I know about them. I keep my distance
Covert narcissistic abuse is so deep. The manipulation in order to serve the narcissist is capable of ruining lives for generations. A little triggering how they discussed this topic but didn’t know much about it. I agree with everyone Dr. Ramani is great. Her videos (along with years in therapy) helped me go no contact with the covert that was in my life. 🙏
I dated one for 2 years. Ended up with ptsd and a beautiful baby girl
You are not alone. At least something good came from such a traumatizing experience.
I was the narcissist in my relationship wasn’t until it got pointed out that I started to change my ways and use better wording when I talk I didn’t know I was doing it
It has being almost a year after breaking up with my boyfriend we were in a mentally toxic relationship. He recently started going to the psychology and was told he was both narcissist and sociopathic in a HUGE scale, so he told me about it and all I could think was it does not surprise me even a little bit. Suddenly everything started making sense why he shamed me all the time and talk trashed about everyone that wasn’t in his “social circle”. Really eye opening tho. Anyways thank god I blocked him from everywhere after the last time que said hurtful things haven’t seen him since 💆🏻♀️
I speak a lot about my experiences when hearing others because I want to show I understand. It’s something I’m working on because I recognize now it’s something not appreciated. I wouldn’t say I’m narcissistic. I’ve been told I’m too empathetic.
I have been in several abusive relationships. I didn’t realize sociopath was such a close comparison to narcissist. There are so many different abusive personality types it’s hard to identify which one they fall into.
Mama mai is an example Jeannie, and I love her but yea it is what it is 🤷🏻♀️
Please invite Dr. Ramani Durvasula to discuss narcissism. I’ve noticed the word thrown around a lot these days and it’s usually surrounded by misinformation. Many people who are simply self-centered and arrogant are labeled narcissists. Those two qualities are often traits of NPD, but do not automatically make someone a narcissist. Also, narcissistic personality disorder is an actual diagnosis. Therapy can improve the condition, but I’m not aware of an actual “cure.” Great topic!
THANK YOU!! It’s insane how misused this term is. Narcissist PD is not that common.
Jeannie I promise you, you have at least one current narcissistic relationship in your life, all of you ladies do. The more research you do, the more you will see it.
I always think sociopaths and narcissists are killers/have no problem doing so.
Also there are smart & discerning empaths in the world. Not all empaths can be manipulated.
There is no cure to being a diagnosed (by a therapist) narcissist, a therapist told me that. They never get better.
There is nothing more devaluing, confusing, spiritually shattering, soul sucking than being in a relationship with a narcissist. It’s mental torture and chaos. The C-PTSD that comes afterwards where you question the validity of your existence adds to the mental stress and emotional turmoil. Many people can have narcissistic tendencies but a true narcissistic isn’t so common.
Example- my ex got engaged to a woman while we were still married and he could never admit he ever cheated. You will never get closure, sincerity, honesty or empathy from a narcissist bc they have NO empathy for anyone. That is why they seek out empaths.
When Loni read off the list of the narcissist, it was a yep! Yep! Yep! and Yep! Was with one for over 20 years. It was EXHAUSTING!! To many stories to put in the comments. SMH. I'm not in it anymore.
I've been in that type of relationship and it's hard to believe we lasted 3 years before he started showing narcissistic behavior.
You guys should absolutely have a professional on the show to properly explain these personality disorders/mental health issues. It would be very beneficial
I grew up with a narcissistic mom, Im more of an empath myself. The manipulation and gaslighting is through the roof. The insults, abuse, blaming everything on other people, never taking any accountability for anything, being "nice" to people that she held an "image" towards, but then when they leave its back to the gaslighting and so on. Its extremely tough growing up with a narc mom. My mom in specific is more covert narcissist, so her charm misled people on who and how she really is. Still to this day, she still does the charm aspect infront of people but the moment you hold her accountable for something or share a perspective different than hers, she views that as an attack or with ill intent. and she will never admit that maybe its her view that needs to be healed and worked on, she rather blame and put down and manipulate others than to admit to herself and heal. I cant have anything deep with her at all. Finally at 32 I realized that I cant neglect myself and my boundaries to have a relationship with her, I cant just keep hoping that one day she will want to heal herself either, and its completely useless to have a meaningful conversation with her because she doesnt have the emotional capacity to make space for a different perspective. There isnt a healthy reciprocity in that relationship. She gets more than shes capable of giving. I have her at a distance emotionally now & Im more focused on me, my healing and growth
Most of the time, most of the narcissists are someone's own family members (including relatives). At family gatherings, you either sit at the cool, big table or the othered little table in the other room. If you sit in the other room, don't worry, you'll hear the loudmouths who like to hear themselves talk.
I lived with a narcissist for majority of the lockdown and the emotional abuse turned into domestic violence, he never once hit me but the amount of gaslighting, yelling, silent treatments, belittlement, door slamming, and psychological trauma I endured from him (and his girlfriend who he let live with us without even asking if it was okay btw). It comes and goes in waves, wanting to save the friendship, thinking you can get them to understand and simply treat you better, but it's deep rooted and the more amount of time you give them the worst it gets. For an empath, it can literally feel like suffocation and all you want to do is not be in the presence of this person or just stay in bed because the anticipation of what they will say or do next keeps you on edge. Their moods become all encompassing and heavily effects your moods. You will find yourself cleaning up after them a lot, being asked to help them solve their problems and just creating more problems for yourself without much reciprocated.
One example I can think of is The Bike.
One day the narcissist's friend was over and that friend brought a new friend who mentioned she was trying to get rid of a bike. I had mentioned many times that I wanted a bike but didn't know where to get one in Rome. Our mutual friend turned to me, in shock that she was giving away a bike for free. What did the narcissist do? He said he wanted the bike and would pick it up that week. This obviously hurt me because it meant he had never listened to me when I talked about wanting a bike and did not consider anyone else may need it. He ended up leaving the bike in the hallway, almost always blocking the door to my room so I'd have to physically move it constantly, when his room was bigger than mine and definitely had a lot of space to store a bike... I asked him many times over maybe the course of 2-3 weeks to move the bike to his room or lock it outside. He continued to put it in the hallway, and roll his eyes when I asked him to move it. I later talked to him about how this made me feel. He got upset and accused me of being jealous and spiteful that he got the bike, but the bigger issue was the inconsiderate way he went about it and the inconvenience it caused me in our home. He yelled at me so loud it felt like the ceiling shook, he laughed at me, walked away from me while I was talking, and said I was being immature. I left the house in tears and slammed the door after about an hour of being belittled and yelled at over what was supposed to be a conversation about a bike. This is just one example of what a narcissist is capable of.
And this was your friend? Sounds toxic and exhausting.
After living with an adult narcisst as a teen for 5 years it took me a Long time to overcome my brainwashed head and getting back my self- consciousness.
He never wanted Something good for me even he was my uncle. I healed in my marriage and my passion helped me to feel better
Definitely feel like I've experienced this with my mother. I think the ladies began a discussion about childhood trauma that could be expanded on with a therapist. Fingers crossed 🤞
I was in a Relationship for 6 years with a #narcissist and didn't realize it until it was over. When someone blames you for THEIR unhappiness or everything that goes wrong is your fault. Your dealing with a Narcissist. RUN!!!
If a narcissist doesn't get their way they will snap hard at you. They can be diagnosed and take medicine for this. Narcissist want you to do only what they want you to do and if you do not do it then you are met with rage. It's horrible.
They basically just mentioned what they read on google about a narcissist lol and then she called her son a narcissist for being “ too confident ?!!” That’s the problem with our culture. Too many ppl think narcissism is being “ too confident “ about yourself.
There’s a difference between a narcissist and someone with narcissistic personality disorder…
Jeanie . She makes EVERYTHING about herself here on the show
Yes Adrienne..I'm a empath..so true
GET DR. RAMANI ON THE SHOW! She will tell you everything you need to know about Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths and the differences between them. Don't just leave one segment for her, give her the entire show or make it a series because there is so much to uncover in this topic.
"narcissists prey on empaths" my whole relationship with my mom makes sense to me now lol