I won over a very difficult woman by asking her about a picture of a dog on her desk. It was genuine. I love dogs. For years, people wondered how I managed to win her over.
I'm a gal in her early 20s trying to figure things out. And I must admit your videos have taught me plenty. I see you as an older brother that gives me great advice. Thank you. And may the laws of the universe work the way you need them to work. 😁😇
@@CharismaMatrix I love your videos! I just came across them today. I'm thinking there must be a video on the 1 word response of "awesome!" out there somewhere. Lol. Btw...you are awesome! Watch out for those sleeper waves!!
I work with a lot of autistic people - the kind that are professional and successful that you wouldn't know are autistic on the surface. Many times they come off as jerks because they don't possess this kind of social thinking. This line is a good way to respect their boundaries by not pushing a conversation with them. But they aren't likely to feel like jerks when you use it. I would suggest that if using this doesn't work with them, to continue being nice and respecting their boundaries. Then, if at some point you need their advice on something, just ask them. You will find that they might never be friendly because they just find small talk to be superfluous, and that's ok. But they can also offer incredible help and they appreciate the respect of their boundaries. I say, be respectful but not intimidating. And don't get your feelings hurt if they don't engage or say things that are very logical without regard to tact. Chalk it up to neurodiversity. This has helped me tremendously in dealing with all kinds of people.
I tried to get out and record this video right as the sun was coming up but it ended up being a few minutes to early (hence the dark background). I'm still pumped about the DJI OSMO camera and pleased with how it turned. I think that you'll get a lot out of the content. Enjoy!
Baron, good day. Did you have to stabilize the footage in post or was this straight out of camera? I must admit the time of day and quality of the picture makes for great footage. It almost looks surreal like a dream-scape. Great job! Also amazing content. The value is there obvious. I've always struggled with people as I am very analytical and I can see these social nuances happening and feel them but could never put them into words or practice. Thanks for encouraging us to be social warriors. -Will
Sounds great... I worked with more than one of these bullies and haters... sorry all your wonderful advice is made for human people who have an ounce of a heart but I dealt with wicked people and did everything short of lying down and being a doormat to get along...NOTHING!.. WALK AWAY FROM TOXIC PEOPLE! IS THE ONLY WAY.
Sorry to hear about you're experience. I guess you went too far down! As Barron puts it, we shouldn't be too supplicative and don't slack you're confidence... Just soften a little bit. Watch Barron's video again...and I'm sure you do well the next time... Take care & be good! 👍
I’m a snake charmer. It’s one of my strong suits. I usually find they just have a wall up, anger or self doubt. One way is to act like you don’t notice their wall. Be casual and friendly. Low key
One tactic that really works for me in sales at least is the first and even second conversation is spent not asking for anything or talking about myself. Its actually really hard to do. I have to REALLY bite my tounge. But if you do it right they will persue YOU with their business. I learned it from dating. If you just listen and make it all them you become the goto guy for the good stuff
The video was very interesting but I think the most interesting thing I learned was at the very end when Barron tripped on the rock or whatever it was. He didn't try to recover ego by cursing or some other negativity. He laughed and it really shines as a sign that you don't take yourself too seriously, that you have a sense of humor, and that you have a personal confidence that isn't threatened by a little stumble that happens to everyone.
I always had this saying; If you can't laugh at yourself, then you arn't worth a damn. In short, don't take yourself too serious, you do stupid things or stupid things do happen to you too.
Just subscribed. Great practical advice. Genuine empathy really is the key to opening this door. Stumbled on this concept by accident recently. Helped with developing a positive flow with someone at work.
Great advice. I like your videos because they combine things I may not have thought of that instantly make sense with things I already know to work that are tried and true. I have to do this a lot (Just stopping by to say hi) to overcome people whose default approach is rudeness. It does catch them off guard and make them feel rude so that next time you come around, they don't assume that you just want something from them. So I'm binge watching your content.
I went to see a new Lawyer and he quoted your very words over and over to me! You are so effective! Glad I watch you all the time-I don't know what to think of my Lawyer when he can't be authentic? Word for word from you (which I LIKE!) but not from this man's lips as he sells me down the river.
If these tips were taught in schools the world would be a better place. Thank you for sharing your wisdom so others may grow and suffer less hardship. I love the fact you made a complicated subject in to easy to learn chunks you're a great teacher
I drive uber full time & get to experiment your guidance with every customer Barron. Made a HUGE difference with my perceptions’ . So love your work & such a positive thing, love it & a major plus for not only just me but also my clients! Maybe why I am now a 4.94 rating , in the top 2% in the world, even if I do say so myself. Sounds arrogant, I don’t mean to be. My job is so much more interesting now ! Thanks Barron.
Barron you are amazing! Ive been binge watching your videos and wow they have worked wonders for me. This video in particular really helped me out at school, I have this really tough and cold teacher who seems to hate everybody. Once I really became interested in her response and used the line when she shrugged me off, she got apologetic and now gives me extra help in class and greets me every day! Keep up the great videos man!
You're a great social scientist Barron Cruz, thanks for your amazing contributions to UA-cam and to the world, appreciate you! The beach is a beautiful nice touch, enjoyed that!
Baron, I like your approach. It is positive and authentic. Good job. I have been using a few of your points over the past few weeks. Improved results for me.
I’ve just found your videos and subscribed because I’ve always been timidish, too nice and not sure of myself. I really admire and respect what your teaching people. I’m loving the upbeat vids and the messages you convey. Cudos to you man and thank you. Now I can have some really positive comebacks instead of being intimidated or aggressive. 👍
Great advice. There was a gal in my office that definitely did not like me from the first day I started there (who knows why). I avoided even walking past her desk... wish I would have had this knowledge and tried to make nice instead of avoiding. BTW loved the vid of walk on the beach, however, when you started spinning, I almost got dizzy myself, : )
Great video, loved it. How have you gained and developed your knowledge behind social interactions? Have you read certain books or articles? Obviously it all comes with practice but it's clear that you're very knowledgeable of every little aspect. Thanks again.
+Glen Thompson - Good to hear you enjoyed it. To your question, both of my parents, and sister that I grew up with had very advanced social skillets. It rubbed off on me and I realized at a young age how big of an advantage it was to be strong socially. From there I basically read, watched and listened to everything available about the subject...from old professors textbooks to dating advice to leadership theory to public speaking and presenting to tonality and vocal projection etc. I also became very focused on what I see around me in every day life. I am constantly trying out new things in my own life and interactions to ensure that I am presenting the very cutting edge in social dynamics and bringing ideas that have never been heard before. Thanks for the question.
greetings from nicaragua the best information, very helpful. keep it up barron. thank you for educating people around the world, most people speak but few share real helpful info like you. you are awesome.
I enjoy your posts. I like the natural role play you do where you act out some dialogue. I do that myself sometimes in the office to better explain a point I'm making. I felt this post was not a bad one but didn't need to be said. I think people act on gut instinct with difficult people who hold some power or have something you want but they have attitude.. But this only comparative to your other posts and i look forward to your next rambling discourse.
I once said that line unintentionally to a teacher I really liked... I don't really know, but it might have improved our relationship even more... Just jumped in to say hi and merry Christmas, honestly :)
Yeah anytime you learn something that would have clearly helped you previously its always kind of hard to swallow but like you said, better now then never! Cheers
This reminds me when I worked in a bus garage here in the U K,,, we had a Welch driver who was very unsociable to everyone so no one spoke to him,,one night he came in with his bus losing water,,and reported his bus had a LEAK,, so I said to him I thought Welsh men liked LEEKS (Leeks are a traditional symbol of Wales) he went into hysterical laughter,, And always spoke to me and was pleasant to me after , others would say what have you got that we ain't got,,
I watched your video and really liked it. Another thing to think about is using the persons name. I worked for a while with a lady who was always bitchy to me (& only me). I was nice to her & I was always snobbed by her. And when I finally used her name, she changed completely and from then on - has been happy to talk to me.
I personally think the wife having a cold chat could go either way. Some people won't like you prying into their home life. And others will be happy for the attention/caring they don't otherwise get. I do like your idea about saying "I just wanted to stop by and say hi". I think them proving to you they're not a jerk would really work. On most, at least. There'll probably still be the odd one that couldn't care less what you think about them. Interesting video. Thanks.
Ha! I love the way the video turned out but it was actually like 5:30am on Morro Bay Beach and it was so cold. Beautiful shot though. Thanks for the thoughts.
No problem man. I have to say I love what your doing and the idea of breaking down and really analyzing these common social situations. It is not only super helpful but also delves into human psychology and shows just how complex and interesting the game is. Keep it up!
They certainly do create their own isolation, and I do not enjoy being treated badly by this person, although I regret avoiding them in a way. But they keep doing this over and over. No matter how empathetic I have been. They never change, I'm sorry.
They will change is you approach and interact with them correctly...and once you able to do this, you will be in the 1 in 1,000,000 people who can do it. From there, this person will like and support you alone (because everyone else doesn't like them) which is powerful.
If the wrong person said this crap to me in this mild-mannered tone, I would know immediately he was trying to manipulate me into somewhere else...BTW, I have worked in a state prison for decades.I know several things immediately from this so-called "always works" line:1) I am not this individual's friend and I didn't ask for his shallow platitudes about my wife's cold or illness.2) My question is also this, since he's not my friend and I probably don't trust him in the first place, then why would I accept an empathetic "how's your weekend?" as being real?I promise you, if you try this stuff in a real world situation, you will get emotionally stomped on a daily basis.Not everyone wants more friends....I'd like a few less of the shallow ones that say things like this to me to try and emote some sort of verbal disarmament that really only works on people that are maybe only having a bad day.
Two thoughts. This does work consistently in the real world. Second, the decades of time you've spent in the state prison may be creating a perspective for you that is unrealistic to the normal and business world. Cheers
wientzer usually people respond to sincere kindness and concern. The idea is to be honesty concerned about what you can do to help the other person, and show it. Then actually DO something that honestly helps the other people with their problems.
Ok, woohoo. With respect, I ask...who do you call when someone breaks into your house? What if you realize that your neighbor is beating up his wife and you go to help her but the guy is drunk and crazy strong? If you place any given group of people in a position of power, then yes, a few of them will sadly abuse this power. However, in the end we have to remember that cops are people too, with feelings, fears, weaknesses, strengths, and loved ones. It isn't a glamorous choice by any means, they and their children get targeted because people they don't know and have never met made bad choices and also happened to be cops, not to mention that the pay sucks; remember that this is a government job. Don't cast judgement on an entire group of people based on the actions of a few.
Something similar happened to me today, we were 3 students and a teacher talking. I said something to 1 of my friends in the debate (and he is veeeery high status) then he completely ignored me, i showed a sign of anger in my face then he laughed (we r friends btw), then after few moments, he tried to bring it up again, saying: i liked what nayif (me) said, i looked at him, with small smile. They didn't catch that, he still tried to do it again, and then they started talking about my topic. BTW, he is one of the most charismatic people i have ever seen and the most status. So, making him do that was relatively a good thing!
....Thanks, for showing us how to fake "honest empathy" Personally, I don't like obviously contrived fluff talk either, and it is not being rude to let someone know you don't like it. That's just your biased opinion...that it's being rude. It's especially not rude when you want to let someone know that you realize they are trying to con you and waste your time and theirs with a bunch of perfumed laced bullshit. It's not really being a jerk to speak matter of factly to someone you know is really an adversary ...pretending to be just a friendly, timid little sweetheart of a guy .....it's actually being honest and real....which is more than I can say for a schmoozer who is trying to use some learned simulated sincerity on people who really have seen it played before way too many times. I don't think I would like a person who took your advice very much if we had to work together...I would consider them a phoney, and a manipulator. and because of that, they would be looking for another job if I happened to be their boss.... Maybe they could get a job as someone who thinks they can teach people that sycophantic behavior is the best way to get what you want from the very people who hate that sort of attempted psychological trickery. Sometimes, the real difficult people are the ones who don't know how to just shut up with the fluff talk and do what they are being paid to do. Here's some advice for your viewers......"if you want to impress and get along with difficult people....remember this .....actions speak louder than words. Just be sincere, do your frigging job and do it well, and anyone who doesn't like it....you tell them to "have a nice day...somewhere else and far the hell away from you as they can get." Tell those schmoozers using their obsequious ways in order to gain some advantage over you...the same thing.
Ray Hensley holy fuck i wish you would make a video hahahaaa...you wrote so much truth it gave me goosebumps...loved your response i felt the same way plus this guy looks like he has had 5 yrs of anger management and now rehabilitated and out making psycho videos haaaa ohh the irony.
Cristian D he didnt miss a thing....your just fake and he is honest with himself....alot of people are scared and react with agression because your not use to being REAL....so these videos teach real people how to mask themselves in order to blend in with the FAKE people who wear their xxxxxx hearts on their sleeves 24-7 ...its hard having an honest personality many people portray the realist as the problematics but its actually the opposite....more fake ass people then real so now we have to watch videos to teach us the way of the fake. hahaahaa. i just wanted to stop by and say hi!!! enjoy
Cristian D it is not "honest empathy" and it definitely is not "faking it". Frankly, the tone of your posts is one of extreme anger and defensiveness that you are choosing to engage in. The world is not out to get you, and doesn't "have it in for you". Most people, most of the time, are mostly good, most of the time. Try a new tactic of always assuming positive intent from other people. You may find out that people will react to you the way you treat them. (By the way, I've spent my entire life in customer service, substitute teaching, and privately tutoring, (over forty years of experience) and 99.9% of the time, found I could use the information that is in this video, and people (all the way from kindergarten through adulthood) reacted positively to me when I was sincerely interested in them.
A much higher up boss at work, jerk, everyone makes fun of him,,,,, Am gonna try , again, to get that breakthrough conversation using this idea !! Will keep you posted
+gautham suresh Absolutely. Professors are typically approached with rookie social skills from young students. You will likely stand out in a good way by applying this.
Thanks for the response. Your videos are very informative and knowledgeable , keep on rocking Barron cruz. Can you do a video on how a person can show his uniqueness!
As I watch this video as you walk on the beach do you have someone in front of you filming this or are you using some kind of drone that’s able to sense your movement and move with you ? can you explain how you’re doing this. Thanks Gary
Many individuals will literally walk all over you if you emit a loving kind of energy. I wish you were right but that’s just not the way it is with the majority of people. Unless you are in a highly advanced and civilized society or community..which doesn’t exist on this planet as far as I know.
Everything about your videos are really amazing. The content and the scenery! I'm sure you've changed many lives for the better. Im not sure how familiar you are with bitcoin or decentralized digital currencies but it's funny how communication with humans works the same way as this software/technology. Anyone can run a bitcoin node which processes transactions. The more nodes it's connected to the better. Same with humans. Everyone and everything is just trying to connect. Thanks for the honest and jam packed great content in your short videos!
+Barron Cruz (Charisma Matrix) I'm loaded up. Bitcoin halving is this Saturday. Price should appreciate over the next few months vs govt issued currencies.
Again, this is for closed off people, not rude or difficult people. Difficult people degrade you and say no to situations, not necessarily show a closed off personality.
Hey there - I'm sure its hard to hear but it doesn't matter how amazing of a person someone is if you don't feel good around them. Make it clear that change on his part is necessary or move on.
I would only add this, as someone who turned a difficult relationship with a wonderful woman into a great relationship: Seek couples counseling. There are no doubt things that he can change for the better, but if you intend on working it out with him, then your role as the other half of the team is crucial as well. Seek out help and work out a strategy together.
solae lee. The right man will give you more than you need. Please remember those words. I know what I'm saying. You don't have room in your life for this type of person who you are seeing. You are way better than that. Treat yourself well and you will attract a person who will do that as well. Blessings my dear.
I could have done with this when I chanced upon John Cleese in my local supermarket a few months back. He looked mortified, and I think he thought I was going to hit him when I reached out to shake his hand.
+Crater777 Thanks man. Yeah I'm going to try to crank out a new video every Tuesday at 9:30PST. Also, is the "usegull" a crank at the seagull footage :) ?
Does this man have a background in psychology? I ask because I listen to Jordan Peterson's psychology lectures from time to time and its like clockwork that I'll pick up on things that deal with the psyche.
I have instinctivly done this myself, busy people are aggressive and are stressed, and they only wants to talk about something important so 90% of people dont dare to bother them if there is not a matter of life and Death, eheh
How to deal with people who give fake data? ... I have met people who have faken their names and even have promised to add me social media... but after all I end up nowhere.
I won over a very difficult woman by asking her about a picture of a dog on her desk. It was genuine. I love dogs. For years, people wondered how I managed to win her over.
I'm a gal in her early 20s trying to figure things out. And I must admit your videos have taught me plenty. I see you as an older brother that gives me great advice. Thank you. And may the laws of the universe work the way you need them to work. 😁😇
Awesome!
@@CharismaMatrix I love your videos! I just came across them today. I'm thinking there must be a video on the 1 word response of "awesome!" out there somewhere. Lol. Btw...you are awesome! Watch out for those sleeper waves!!
I've heard a lot of people, and this guy is really socially intelligent. Recognized it in the 1st minute.
Thanks J. T.
I work with a lot of autistic people - the kind that are professional and successful that you wouldn't know are autistic on the surface. Many times they come off as jerks because they don't possess this kind of social thinking. This line is a good way to respect their boundaries by not pushing a conversation with them. But they aren't likely to feel like jerks when you use it. I would suggest that if using this doesn't work with them, to continue being nice and respecting their boundaries. Then, if at some point you need their advice on something, just ask them. You will find that they might never be friendly because they just find small talk to be superfluous, and that's ok. But they can also offer incredible help and they appreciate the respect of their boundaries. I say, be respectful but not intimidating. And don't get your feelings hurt if they don't engage or say things that are very logical without regard to tact. Chalk it up to neurodiversity. This has helped me tremendously in dealing with all kinds of people.
I tried to get out and record this video right as the sun was coming up but it ended up being a few minutes to early (hence the dark background). I'm still pumped about the DJI OSMO camera and pleased with how it turned. I think that you'll get a lot out of the content. Enjoy!
Great stuff
Some interesting suggestions....I work with a lot of nasty people. I'll give it a try
Can you be my dad
Love the way you were able to walk without leaving any footprints!
Baron, good day. Did you have to stabilize the footage in post or was this straight out of camera? I must admit the time of day and quality of the picture makes for great footage. It almost looks surreal like a dream-scape. Great job! Also amazing content. The value is there obvious. I've always struggled with people as I am very analytical and I can see these social nuances happening and feel them but could never put them into words or practice. Thanks for encouraging us to be social warriors.
-Will
"I just wanted to stop by to say hi" ....gold!
are you walking on the moon surface?
Sounds great... I worked with more than one of these bullies and haters... sorry all your wonderful advice is made for human people who have an ounce of a heart but I dealt with wicked people and did everything short of lying down and being a doormat to get along...NOTHING!.. WALK AWAY FROM TOXIC PEOPLE! IS THE ONLY WAY.
Sorry to hear about you're experience. I guess you went too far down! As Barron puts it, we shouldn't be too supplicative and don't slack you're confidence... Just soften a little bit. Watch Barron's video again...and I'm sure you do well the next time... Take care & be good! 👍
I’m a snake charmer. It’s one of my strong suits. I usually find they just have a wall up, anger or self doubt. One way is to act like you don’t notice their wall. Be casual and friendly. Low key
One tactic that really works for me in sales at least is the first and even second conversation is spent not asking for anything or talking about myself. Its actually really hard to do. I have to REALLY bite my tounge. But if you do it right they will persue YOU with their business. I learned it from dating. If you just listen and make it all them you become the goto guy for the good stuff
The video was very interesting but I think the most interesting thing I learned was at the very end when Barron tripped on the rock or whatever it was. He didn't try to recover ego by cursing or some other negativity. He laughed and it really shines as a sign that you don't take yourself too seriously, that you have a sense of humor, and that you have a personal confidence that isn't threatened by a little stumble that happens to everyone.
Hahahah, very nice observation, thank you. Glad you enjoyed the video Dave!
I always had this saying; If you can't laugh at yourself, then you arn't worth a damn. In short, don't take yourself too serious, you do stupid things or stupid things do happen to you too.
Looks like your personal beach :)
Ha! Yeah it was before everyone in the tents had woken up. BARELY enough light to shoot.
But the video looks good and as always great content...
Hey Barron! I love your videos - they are worth gold!
Turns out I'm the difficult one -_-
Just subscribed. Great practical advice. Genuine empathy really is the key to opening this door. Stumbled on this concept by accident recently. Helped with developing a positive flow with someone at work.
This is great. I have actually used this line two or three times in my life. However, I had never realized how powerful the line is.
Great advice. I like your videos because they combine things I may not have thought of that instantly make sense with things I already know to work that are tried and true. I have to do this a lot (Just stopping by to say hi) to overcome people whose default approach is rudeness. It does catch them off guard and make them feel rude so that next time you come around, they don't assume that you just want something from them. So I'm binge watching your content.
I went to see a new Lawyer and he quoted your very words over and over to me! You are so effective! Glad I watch you all the time-I don't know what to think of my Lawyer when he can't be authentic? Word for word from you (which I LIKE!) but not from this man's lips as he sells me down the river.
If these tips were taught in schools the world would be a better place. Thank you for sharing your wisdom so others may grow and suffer less hardship. I love the fact you made a complicated subject in to easy to learn chunks you're a great teacher
on a personal note you've made me aware of my own self too. awesome stuff!
I drive uber full time & get to experiment your guidance with every customer Barron. Made a HUGE difference with my perceptions’ . So love your work & such a positive thing, love it & a major plus for not only just me but also my clients! Maybe why I am now a 4.94 rating , in the top 2% in the world, even if I do say so myself. Sounds arrogant, I don’t mean to be. My job is so much more interesting now ! Thanks Barron.
Barron you are amazing! Ive been binge watching your videos and wow they have worked wonders for me. This video in particular really helped me out at school, I have this really tough and cold teacher who seems to hate everybody. Once I really became interested in her response and used the line when she shrugged me off, she got apologetic and now gives me extra help in class and greets me every day! Keep up the great videos man!
+Hailey Fritz - Great Application! Just made my day.
Which line did you use?
You're a great social scientist Barron Cruz, thanks for your amazing contributions to UA-cam and to the world, appreciate you! The beach is a beautiful nice touch, enjoyed that!
Hey Cruz,
Nice one ! Im a difficult one and the way you approach it is the way I always wished people would.
Baron, I like your approach. It is positive and authentic. Good job. I have been using a few of your points over the past few weeks. Improved results for me.
I’ve just found your videos and subscribed because I’ve always been timidish, too nice and not sure of myself. I really admire and respect what your teaching people. I’m loving the upbeat vids and the messages you convey. Cudos to you man and thank you. Now I can have some really positive comebacks instead of being intimidated or aggressive. 👍
You're awesome. Thanks for the insight and information. If/when I ever use this I will remember.
Great advice. There was a gal in my office that definitely did not like me from the first day I started there (who knows why). I avoided even walking past her desk... wish I would have had this knowledge and tried to make nice instead of avoiding. BTW loved the vid of walk on the beach, however, when you started spinning, I almost got dizzy myself, : )
You were in the zone completely on this one. Work place management skills at there best. Awesome vid.. you rock.
I used empathy with someone like this. I found a commonality and I def know when it’s a food fine to chat n clearly when it’s not. Great vid!!
Barron, you are a true genius; it takes a very observant mind to detect all these subtle social queues.
Thanks much! Kind words
My favorite part. Laughing when you stumbled. I am saving this video to recognize situations in which I can apply the coaching.
Great video. I seem to be aware of people who are difficult subconsciously. I use the semi-timid tactic sometimes
Great video, loved it.
How have you gained and developed your knowledge behind social interactions? Have you read certain books or articles? Obviously it all comes with practice but it's clear that you're very knowledgeable of every little aspect. Thanks again.
+Glen Thompson - Good to hear you enjoyed it. To your question, both of my parents, and sister that I grew up with had very advanced social skillets. It rubbed off on me and I realized at a young age how big of an advantage it was to be strong socially.
From there I basically read, watched and listened to everything available about the subject...from old professors textbooks to dating advice to leadership theory to public speaking and presenting to tonality and vocal projection etc.
I also became very focused on what I see around me in every day life. I am constantly trying out new things in my own life and interactions to ensure that I am presenting the very cutting edge in social dynamics and bringing ideas that have never been heard before.
Thanks for the question.
+Barron Cruz (Charisma Matrix) Thank you very much for your response! Glad to also hear that you're going to be doing weekly videos.
greetings from nicaragua the best information, very helpful. keep it up barron. thank you for educating
people around the world, most people speak but few share real helpful info like you. you are awesome.
Hi there! Love it! Thanks.
I enjoy your posts. I like the natural role play you do where you act out some dialogue. I do that myself sometimes in the office to better explain a point I'm making. I felt this post was not a bad one but didn't need to be said. I think people act on gut instinct with difficult people who hold some power or have something you want but they have attitude.. But this only comparative to your other posts and i look forward to your next rambling discourse.
I once said that line unintentionally to a teacher I really liked... I don't really know, but it might have improved our relationship even more... Just jumped in to say hi and merry Christmas, honestly :)
Great videos man. I did not know there was such a science behind social situations.
Really good video. I will be using your suggestions right away! 😎
Simple but deep; luv it!
I believe it's will help me. I'll try this 30 minutes later. I really needed this lol
Great to hear. I use it all the time.
Barron Cruz it went good!!! Thank u so much :)
Right on!
Yep it's true and it WORKS!!!! :) I only wish I knew this a lot sooner LOL... But oh well, better to learn late than never, right?
Yeah anytime you learn something that would have clearly helped you previously its always kind of hard to swallow but like you said, better now then never! Cheers
I appreciate your insight and time. Thank you for sharing
This reminds me when I worked in a bus garage here in the U K,,, we had a Welch driver who was very unsociable to everyone so no one spoke to him,,one night he came in with his bus losing water,,and reported his bus had a LEAK,, so I said to him I thought Welsh men liked LEEKS (Leeks are a traditional symbol of Wales) he went into hysterical laughter,,
And always spoke to me and was pleasant to me after , others would say what have you got that we ain't got,,
Wow this makes a whole Lotta sense....gonna try this one out 👍🏼
I watched your video and really liked it. Another thing to think about is using the persons name. I worked for a while with a lady who was always bitchy to me (& only me). I was nice to her & I was always snobbed by her. And when I finally used her name, she changed completely and from then on - has been happy to talk to me.
I personally think the wife having a cold chat could go either way. Some people won't like you prying into their home life. And others will be happy for the attention/caring they don't otherwise get.
I do like your idea about saying "I just wanted to stop by and say hi". I think them proving to you they're not a jerk would really work. On most, at least. There'll probably still be the odd one that couldn't care less what you think about them. Interesting video. Thanks.
Thanks for the thoughts noneayabiz - cheers
Wow great video! Haha it must be great being alone on such a nice beach as that one.
Ha! I love the way the video turned out but it was actually like 5:30am on Morro Bay Beach and it was so cold. Beautiful shot though. Thanks for the thoughts.
No problem man. I have to say I love what your doing and the idea of breaking down and really analyzing these common social situations. It is not only super helpful but also delves into human psychology and shows just how complex and interesting the game is. Keep it up!
They certainly do create their own isolation, and I do not enjoy being treated badly by this person, although I regret avoiding them in a way. But they keep doing this over and over. No matter how empathetic I have been. They never change, I'm sorry.
They will change is you approach and interact with them correctly...and once you able to do this, you will be in the 1 in 1,000,000 people who can do it. From there, this person will like and support you alone (because everyone else doesn't like them) which is powerful.
Just wanted to pass by and say hi 😎
Very good teaching. Thank you sincerely.
thanks so much for your videos....they are filled with common sense and you come across as a alpha male,
Love your videos Barron!
You literally deserve 1B subscribers
If the wrong person said this crap to me in this mild-mannered tone, I would know immediately he was trying to manipulate me into somewhere else...BTW, I have worked in a state prison for decades.I know several things immediately from this so-called "always works" line:1) I am not this individual's friend and I didn't ask for his shallow platitudes about my wife's cold or illness.2) My question is also this, since he's not my friend and I probably don't trust him in the first place, then why would I accept an empathetic "how's your weekend?" as being real?I promise you, if you try this stuff in a real world situation, you will get emotionally stomped on a daily basis.Not everyone wants more friends....I'd like a few less of the shallow ones that say things like this to me to try and emote some sort of verbal disarmament that really only works on people that are maybe only having a bad day.
Two thoughts. This does work consistently in the real world. Second, the decades of time you've spent in the state prison may be creating a perspective for you that is unrealistic to the normal and business world. Cheers
wientzer usually people respond to sincere kindness and concern. The idea is to be honesty concerned about what you can do to help the other person, and show it. Then actually DO something that honestly helps the other people with their problems.
How was your weekend? xD
Hi Wientz- uh, sorry. I was just stopping by to say hi.
Ok, woohoo. With respect, I ask...who do you call when someone breaks into your house? What if you realize that your neighbor is beating up his wife and you go to help her but the guy is drunk and crazy strong? If you place any given group of people in a position of power, then yes, a few of them will sadly abuse this power. However, in the end we have to remember that cops are people too, with feelings, fears, weaknesses, strengths, and loved ones. It isn't a glamorous choice by any means, they and their children get targeted because people they don't know and have never met made bad choices and also happened to be cops, not to mention that the pay sucks; remember that this is a government job. Don't cast judgement on an entire group of people based on the actions of a few.
Something similar happened to me today, we were 3 students and a teacher talking. I said something to 1 of my friends in the debate (and he is veeeery high status) then he completely ignored me, i showed a sign of anger in my face then he laughed (we r friends btw), then after few moments, he tried to bring it up again, saying: i liked what nayif (me) said, i looked at him, with small smile. They didn't catch that, he still tried to do it again, and then they started talking about my topic. BTW, he is one of the most charismatic people i have ever seen and the most status. So, making him do that was relatively a good thing!
Amiables (Ask Assertive, People Focused) are the toughest for me to deal with. Drivers, Analyticals, Expressives are easier.
Why so?
My old boss was like this. Wish I'd known this at the time. Great video Barron!
+Justin Grajek Yeah its surprising just how many bosses behave this way. However, its good for us who know how to work around the mentality!
This guy is really cool! Great video. I learned something today!
Great to hear!
....Thanks, for showing us how to fake "honest empathy" Personally, I don't like obviously contrived fluff talk either, and it is not being rude to let someone know you don't like it. That's just your biased opinion...that it's being rude.
It's especially not rude when you want to let someone know that you realize they are trying to con you and waste your time and theirs with a bunch of perfumed laced bullshit.
It's not really being a jerk to speak matter of factly to someone you know is really an adversary ...pretending to be just a friendly, timid little sweetheart of a guy .....it's actually being honest and real....which is more than I can say for a schmoozer who is trying to use some learned simulated sincerity on people who really have seen it played before way too many times.
I don't think I would like a person who took your advice very much if we had to work together...I would consider them a phoney, and a manipulator. and because of that, they would be looking for another job if I happened to be their boss....
Maybe they could get a job as someone who thinks they can teach people that sycophantic behavior is the best way to get what you want from the very people who hate that sort of attempted psychological trickery.
Sometimes, the real difficult people are the ones who don't know how to just shut up with the fluff talk and do what they are being paid to do.
Here's some advice for your viewers......"if you want to impress and get along with difficult people....remember this .....actions speak louder than words. Just be sincere, do your frigging job and do it well, and anyone who doesn't like it....you tell them to "have a nice day...somewhere else and far the hell away from you as they can get." Tell those schmoozers using their obsequious ways in order to gain some advantage over you...the same thing.
"Thanks, for showing us how to fake "honest empathy" " hahaha you missed everything sir.
Ray Hensley holy fuck i wish you would make a video hahahaaa...you wrote so much truth it gave me goosebumps...loved your response i felt the same way plus this guy looks like he has had 5 yrs of anger management and now rehabilitated and out making psycho videos haaaa ohh the irony.
Cristian D he didnt miss a thing....your just fake and he is honest with himself....alot of people are scared and react with agression because your not use to being REAL....so these videos teach real people how to mask themselves in order to blend in with the FAKE people who wear their xxxxxx hearts on their sleeves 24-7 ...its hard having an honest personality many people portray the realist as the problematics but its actually the opposite....more fake ass people then real so now we have to watch videos to teach us the way of the fake. hahaahaa. i just wanted to stop by and say hi!!! enjoy
Cristian D it is not "honest empathy" and it definitely is not "faking it". Frankly, the tone of your posts is one of extreme anger and defensiveness that you are choosing to engage in. The world is not out to get you, and doesn't "have it in for you". Most people, most of the time, are mostly good, most of the time. Try a new tactic of always assuming positive intent from other people. You may find out that people will react to you the way you treat them. (By the way, I've spent my entire life in customer service, substitute teaching, and privately tutoring, (over forty years of experience) and 99.9% of the time, found I could use the information that is in this video, and people (all the way from kindergarten through adulthood) reacted positively to me when I was sincerely interested in them.
Thanks for prompting me to look up two new words!
A much higher up boss at work, jerk, everyone makes fun of him,,,,, Am gonna try , again, to get that breakthrough conversation using this idea !! Will keep you posted
Thats a great opportunity to get in good with him. Nice application!
This is great, I already see that I must have used it in one situation
Please do more of these.
+yoanizer I'm workin' on it! I'm going to be putting new videos out every Tuesday at 9:30am PST.
This was incredible!
Interesting perspectives, sounds right.
Omg maan u're the bestt ! God bless you!
First time i'm watching you're videos but i'm learning alot from you!! U seem as such a Good person
+retoo luvyuhx Great to hear, thanks!
Thanks coach I'm a old guy still learning
Thank you. This is very good advice
So act like you give a crap to get what you want. Sounds about right.
An awesome video Barron cruz! Can this method be used to create rapport with professors ?
+gautham suresh Absolutely. Professors are typically approached with rookie social skills from young students. You will likely stand out in a good way by applying this.
Thanks for the response. Your videos are very informative and knowledgeable , keep on rocking Barron cruz. Can you do a video on how a person can show his uniqueness!
Nice scenery and great tips.
Yo thanks! I woke up at like 3:30am in San Luis Obispo to film that in Morro Bay.
As I watch this video as you walk on the beach do you have someone in front of you filming this or are you using some kind of drone that’s able to sense your movement and move with you ?
can you explain how you’re doing this.
Thanks Gary
Barron, how do you get around a plow? I know a difficult personality that controls the convo by unrelenting talking. Suggestions? Video??
This I'd like to see a video for.
Boom he did the how to deal with a constant interupter video
if u love everyone u don't have to fake empathy. body language will give a fake empathy away.
This video isn't about loving everyone or faking empathy. It's about how to deal with people who are difficult to deal with.
Many individuals will literally walk all over you if you emit a loving kind of energy. I wish you were right but that’s just not the way it is with the majority of people. Unless you are in a highly advanced and civilized society or community..which doesn’t exist on this planet as far as I know.
Thanks for sharing, handsome!
I really enjoy your videos! thank you!
My pleasure. Thanks for the comment.
Everything about your videos are really amazing. The content and the scenery! I'm sure you've changed many lives for the better.
Im not sure how familiar you are with bitcoin or decentralized digital currencies but it's funny how communication with humans works the same way as this software/technology. Anyone can run a bitcoin node which processes transactions. The more nodes it's connected to the better. Same with humans. Everyone and everything is just trying to connect. Thanks for the honest and jam packed great content in your short videos!
Thanks for the comment. Maybe we should start loading up on Bitcoin! :)
+Barron Cruz (Charisma Matrix) I'm loaded up. Bitcoin halving is this Saturday. Price should appreciate over the next few months vs govt issued currencies.
thanks always Barron, it helped a lot
+배진호 Very nice
Again, this is for closed off people, not rude or difficult people. Difficult people degrade you and say no to situations, not necessarily show a closed off personality.
Needless to say, I still need help dealing with actual rude or difficult people because it's a part of life.
what about if the man you love is difficult I'm having a hard time ..he makes me cry every day but he deep down is a amazing man
Hey there - I'm sure its hard to hear but it doesn't matter how amazing of a person someone is if you don't feel good around them. Make it clear that change on his part is necessary or move on.
I would only add this, as someone who turned a difficult relationship with a wonderful woman into a great relationship: Seek couples counseling. There are no doubt things that he can change for the better, but if you intend on working it out with him, then your role as the other half of the team is crucial as well. Seek out help and work out a strategy together.
No one should be making you cry everyday..... there is something very not right with that.
solae lee he makes you cry daily, yet he is amazing?
RUN...
solae lee. The right man will give you more than you need. Please remember those words. I know what I'm saying. You don't have room in your life for this type of person who you are seeing. You are way better than that. Treat yourself well and you will attract a person who will do that as well. Blessings my dear.
amazing guy! very knowledgeable and well spoken. haha plus very hilarious
Nice! Thanks Dianna
Just wanted to stop by to say hi.
Very good insight!
Yo bardog can u do a video on how u legitimatley deal with nervous thoughts
I kinda do this actually with difficult ppl inever knew lol
I like the background - dark and infinite :)
I could have done with this when I chanced upon John Cleese in my local supermarket a few months back. He looked mortified, and I think he thought I was going to hit him when I reached out to shake his hand.
I´ll use your suggestion next time I meet someone like that
Good vid, will try it
Love the video Barron, very usegull. By the way, 2 new videos in 2 weeks, that means we'll see more of you on regular basis, weekly? :)
+Crater777 Thanks man. Yeah I'm going to try to crank out a new video every Tuesday at 9:30PST. Also, is the "usegull" a crank at the seagull footage :) ?
+Barron Cruz (Charisma Matrix) Nice, weekly dose of Barron, that's what I'm talking about. Haha I'm glad my seagull joke didn't go unnoticed :)
+Crater777 My man
How did you walk on the beach, and not leave any footprints?
It's a green screen lol and he's walking on a treadmill
Does this man have a background in psychology? I ask because I listen to Jordan Peterson's psychology lectures from time to time and its like clockwork that I'll pick up on things that deal with the psyche.
I have instinctivly done this myself, busy people are aggressive and are stressed, and they only wants to talk about something important so 90% of people dont dare to bother them if there is not a matter of life and Death, eheh
Thanks for the video
Cheers!
I like you
Nice to know that I am the one who's difficult. Heh.
If hell had a beach , this beach would be it.
Great stuff, which part of the country are you from?
+Gulraj Bains - I've been living in Southern California for the last few years. Thanks
That's a nice quiet beach
How to deal with people who give fake data?
...
I have met people who have faken their names and even have promised to add me social media... but after all I end up nowhere.
Why the heck wanting difficult people to like, even to love us?
This does really work.
Sure does, thanks Marcelle.