Girl you tried to binge like 3 textbooks and a political fantasy... No wonder you got burnt out. Histories like those are meant to be sipped, 50 pages a day or whatever. Be kinder to yourself!
I think a lot of people are hitting this wall right now. During covid lockdown it was fine to read just to read. These days we’re getting hit with the question of why we’re reading hundreds of books a year if we’re only going to love 30. I also personally had to disconnect from the online communities a bit - they tend to assume that books are the only way you’re engaging with the world. It’s also just different as a litfic reader. My own channel is on hold right now because you just can’t make batch content about two big litfics a month. That said, I think the language of “reading slumps” is messing with us. Where did we get the idea that we must always have a book going? Why do we blame ourselves when books are bad? Once you get through the pre-filtered backlist and start focusing on untested new releases, you’re going to get lots of duds if you don’t slow down.
I don't think there is anything wrong with reading mainly for entertainment. I personally find that I most enjoy my reading when I'm in that goldilocks zone, with the perfect ratio of "just for fun reads", "learning something reads", and "I'm a better person because of these reads". Maybe you just need to play around with your ratio a bit. I find I need at least 25-40% learning something new or from a different lived experience from my own, 5-10% books that lead to me having more empathy, being kinder, changing my world view, or some other life shift because of reading a particular book. Fun reads are huge for me I need 40-50%. If I don't have enough fun reads I end up just doing mindless scrolling instead. I not personally great at maintaining the correct ratio but when I do, I find that my reading enjoyment and satisfaction is at its peak.
Aw - I can see you’re super upset. Sending a hug. So I’m 50 years old and I have been a reader since I can remember. BUT - there have been times in my life when I read a lot, sometimes not at all. I went through about 10 years when I only read romance, at another time thrillers. Now I don’t read either genres. When my marriage ended I didn’t read at all for about 3-4 years - I just watched makeup videos on UA-cam. What I’m trying to say here is that there are all kinds of different seasons in your life. Be gentle with yourself and try not to judge yourself in whatever season you’re in- read or don’t read whatever brings you joy.
Interesting bc I’ve been judging myself for the opposite problem. Like “why can’t I just sit and focus on this entire book??” Or I judge myself for using audio too much. I think we are our own worst critics!
I have been reading since I was four years old. I am now 71. I have a master’s degree in English, which required tons and tons and tons of reading. Over the years, I have found that my reading habits have changed…often. I would have reading kicks about specific genres. I would read several books at the same time. Now I only have two going at the same time. I used to only like reading sitting up. Now I can read lying down. I now enjoy audiobooks when in the past I didn’t. Change, change, change. What I’m trying to say is allow your reading habits and preferences to change, morph, destabilize, become whatever you are at the moment. You’re doing fine
Hun, you've mentioned in most of your recent videos that you're low on spoons and not feeling amazing these days. (I am with you!) So it makes so much sense that you want light, fluffy, feel good reads and trying to force yourself to tackle big, dark, thought-provoking books would shut your brain down. I think it's a great idea to not read for a bit and when you do, read things that are brain candy! I do think you'll get back into the chonky, deeper stuff again eventually. It's all ebbs and flows with MH. ❤ Even if all you do for awhile are podcasts with Jess and Livestreams with bookish topics and not do the typical reading projects, we'll still be here!
Its ok ! Don't read- take a break. Research and plan a day trip or a weekend trip. Ride around your area and enjoy seeing all trees & flowers coming into bloom. Do things to take you mind off your reading slump. You inspire a lot of people just by being You !
Really appreciate this kind of chatty video, I think it's easy as a consumer of booktube and a reader in general to get stuck in hating your own habits and not recognize you wouldn't treat your friends that way. Helps to think about what serves you and what doesn't.
In high school, I used to sit for hours and read physically. Now, (mid 20s, post grad school) I read almost exclusively audio and about 2/3 of my reading is romance. I've been on a long journey of self acceptance and getting rid of judgment around these habits, but it's HARD to not judge yourself. I feel you.
Also, your video just made me realise that when I was younger and had less responsibility (and the world also seemed brighter), I read to read, the reading itself was THE thing. Nowadays I read to distract and joyerise myself for coping with the rest of my life and world, which is now the THING (the world and the rest of my life outside of reading). So I can't read something too detailed, my brain can't cope with detailed lifeing and detailed hard to remember books. 🤷
Ugh, I'm so sorry you've had such a miserable time with reading recently. I really felt for you watching this. As someone who loves to make reading plans but then is subject to a good deal of mood reading, I can imagine ending up in this unhappy, almost existential-crisis place with reading. I can be very judgy with myself too, and I have to remind myself sometimes that it's ok for reading to be whatever it needs to be for me (or you). That's what so amazing about books, the many things they can be for a person through the course of their lives, sometimes that even includes not being a part of your life at all and lying in wait for the day when they can be again, as happened to me after college. Now I know no matter how it's going at one point, reading is a life-long love affair for me. Wishing you the best reading vibes and hoping you'll get whatever it is you need! ❤🩹
My reading is much slower this year. I've DNF'D a ton, which is great bc I'm not forcing books I don't like. But finding books I DO like has been slim pickings. I've been re-reading books I know I enjoy. You're not alone!
I loved this video! In a weird way, we're opposites. I used to be a read one book at a time girl, and now I'm branching out to 3-4 at a time and I'm like "what am I doing???". But I appreciate the insights and the vulnerability that our reading and life can change over the course of years and that's perfectly okay. Sending love and care 🫶🏽
I can relate to your experience-- i went through something similar in my mid 30s and the result was that I read little to nothing for 10 yr! I am glad you are self aware enough to break the cycle! For me, it was thinking I needed to read litttterature. Work was more demanding, bfs were more serious -- I just didnt have the focus or mental capacity. Thankfully, 10 yr later in my mid 40s, I got back to reading but I gave myself "permission" to read lighter books-- mysteries, series, etc. and I have been reading daily ever since! Now I am 60, my vision is a mess and declining quickly and work is kicking my butt but I am reading. I am so sure you will find your reading mojo quickly-- you just need to remove all the pressure of what you *should* do. Read whatever the heck you want to read!
I think going through one's tbr can lead to moments like these, where we realize what actually works for us, and what doesn't. I too have learned that I really need to read a chapter or so into non-fiction books, if I want any chance of actually reading them. This is useful data for the future and will hopefully make my buying choices a better fit for the reader I am now.
I hope your reading starts to feel better soon! My way of reading books changed when I started to write fiction; I can’t sink in to stories as deeply anymore because I can’t stop analyzing how the prose works. I can still enjoy reading fiction, but not the way I did when I was only consuming it. That’s what we get for learning new skills?! 😅
Thank you for this. I used to be able to sit down and read a book in a day, and now I read about a book a month. I lost my ability to focus for hours after my mom died. But this is interesting -- maybe I just need to try other ways to schedule reading.
Thats totally ok!! Emotional trauma is absolutely a valid reason to stop reading or feel uninspired- any reason is valid. As long as you enjoy whatever and however much you read, you don't need to feel bad about it. Not reading isn't a moral failure
You are not alone in this 😕 I was a book a day girlie too and after I lost my mom two years ago I’ve been lucky to get through 1 or two a month. I’m just now starting to kick it back up a little. Sorry for your loss. ❤
Definitely the key is to be kind to yourself. I had a few tough years with work and burnt out from that. I couldn't handle anything that made me have to 'pay attention' and so that year I basically only read historical cosy mysteries. I felt that same internal judgement, that i should be reading more meaty books but as soon as i tried i ended up not wanting to read either! Long rambly way of saying, i feel you and empathise wholeheartedly. Ive got kinder to myself now and if i need a comfort blanket read then i reach for one even with all my wonderful chunky weighty reads looking at me - their time will come and life's too short to force read anything!
Ahh I am so sorry. I could really feel your sadness and frustration. Maybe treat yourself with another favourites-of-others-on-my-existing-TBR or something? Just do whatever works for you, even if it is not reading at all for a bit. Also, reading is reading. Please do not be so hard on yourself ❤
I super identify with how university can teach us to speed read. In recent years I’ve purposefully slowed my reading a bit so that I have more retention. I’ve brought my internal monologue back into reading instead of seeing a line at a time. I think I’m down to 50-60 pages an hour instead of the 100-120 I used to do. I’m much happier now. I’ve also switched to mostly shorter books - I’m with you reading the jello-shot type of books. My favourite books are still mostly the 500-1200 page fantasy tomes, but I can’t read many of those per year. Having variety is what I’ve found works for my brain. I second the people in the comments who are encouraging you to be yourself, and that we all change over time. Who you are today is awesome. I hope your enjoyment of reading recovers quickly.
I liked this chatty video :) It doesn't necessarily apply to your channel, but sometimes discussing reading can be full of presumptions on how, what or how much one should read and this just feels really genuine and down to earth. I hope you will enjoy reading more soon :)
What you said resonated with me. After grad school in librarianship, years as a literature teacher, public school librarian, and high school librarian, I hear your burn out. I also have given up on movies and television. My solution is I am now mood reading. Let go of the guilt and read what makes you happy or don’t read at all! You need to reset. Take care of yourself and find your reading soul again. Relax and give yourself a break. 😉
Took ten years after grad school before I began to read again. Went back to the classics for rereads. So enjoy reading now and get more from the page content than I did when I was younger. I read slower and appreciate the text and subtext because of the more thoughtful reading experience.
I think it is normal to find it hard to tackle a chunky fiction or non-fiction book. I really need to be in the mood for those reads! Be kind to yourself and continue with mood reading. Absolutely no pressure on anyone to do more than that!
I’m similar. I’m my own worst critic and so kind and understanding to everyone around me. I like variety so while I could finish a book in a day, I prefer to read 2-4 books at the same time to avoid getting bored. I’m the same with series. I don’t like to pick up the next book right away, I tend to wait and read a book a month. Changing the perspective a little, this wasn’t a failure, just a period of data gathering to better understand your current book habits and how to stay happy and reading. Good luck with the slump, hope you come out of it with a hunger for reading again. ❤
I get like this sometimes, and it sounds so dumb; but I go in to goodreads and remove everything from the tbr. It feels good to just re-set and read what I'm drawn to not some perceived to-do list I gave myself, or some guilt list of I bought this at full price 8 years ago and haven't read it so I should read it. Good luck with the slump, enjoy the knitting and you'll find your way back.
I get the "I would've enjoyed it more it I had read it quickly". I'm a slow reader but if a book is just ok and I'm not done with it within a week, my enjoyment just plummets. It's like "I have a 100 books on my tbr, why am I STILL bothering with this one" 🙄
Sounds like this really messed with your momentum- I appreciate the vulnerability and the honesty. Things change in life. Sometimes it feels like the old way was better but this clearly shows that is not the case. Sorry it was so frustrating. ❤
I've been working on similar thoughts around reading this year, too. I've transitioned almost entirely away from audiobooks to e-books because I realized I just don't comprehend or enjoy a book as much when I'm only listening. Overall, it's been a good shift. I don't think you should judge yourself for reading differently now than you did in the past. Life has different phases-enjoy the one you're in.
Thanks for sharing your ramblings :) They're very relatable! Your feelings make a lot of sense. I'm glad you're letting go of these "shoulds" about your reading style in this season of life. I definitely relate and am VERY selective about long books and non-fiction. I hope you try to space out the non-fiction and "sip" on those when you're in the mood. Sometimes it takes me a year to finish a long non-fiction. Two I've been sipping on are "We Don't Know Ourselves: A Personal History of Modern Ireland" and "Empire of Pain" (rec'd by you!).
I have the same approach to books as you do and my favourite metaphor is that some people (like me) are book eaters - we like the feeling of consuming books and the pleasure comes from the finishing line, and then there are book swimmers, who like to wallow in sentences and read things slowly and thoroughly. Both to me are great and to each their own!
Long time watcher, first time commenter. What you’re describing sounds similar to my experience after I finished my English degree, so I totally get it. I was reading exclusively “the classics” that entire time, even over the summer on my own time. After graduate school (library science in my case), it all fell apart. I got stuck in Daniel Deronda by George Elliot and didn’t want to read anymore. I hated feeling that way, so I returned to what I enjoyed pre-degree (SFF) and expanded (mystery/thriller, horror, lit fic). I unapologetically tell people all the time that I’m too dumb for the classics now (semi jokingly), I don’t know who that girl was. 😆 And so be it! I’m having fun with my reading.
This video really resonated with me. I recently finished a PhD in Spanish literature, and ever since, I have really struggled to enjoy my reading. While I was wrapping things up with my degree, all I wanted to do was read mystery novels, and your channel even inspired me to read more things that I enjoy rather than things that I feel like I have to read. For example, I had to shelve Don Quixote because I realized that I would rather savor it and because I really want to read Crooked House by Agatha Christie. The post grad school struggle can be very real, and thank you for articulating that in your video.
I’ve only been back into reading for a couple years now. And maybe it’s the fear of burning myself out, but I’m trying to give myself a lot of grace with my current reading. I’m trying to DNF more and give myself permission to prioritize something familiar and/or fluffy when I need to. It sucks that this project took the wind out of your sails like this, but it seems like you needed it to reset your expectations and reaffirm where you’re at now. Hope you can bounce back soon.
Trying a chapter is my tried and true method for picking books to read. Would recommend. Not quite as extreme, but I had a book I started reading in the middle of February and as a monogamous reader it was ALL I was reading. It did kill my momentum, I wasn't reading, etc. So I just decided to read it every Thursday evening. Only on that day would I pick it up and it really helped. I still finished the book, but at a better pace, and still being able to pick up books that made me happy as per usual.
This is something that I was able to connect to so thoroughly as someone with several English/Humanities degrees; it's simultaneously unlocked a new way to read, but it's also ruined it because I'm so much more analytical with the books I'm picking up. My ability to read as a full time professor, full time mom, and full time MA student, it's hard to carve out time to read and to read purely for pleasure without the analytical part of my brain turning on.
I appreciate your authenticity always! I'm not surprised you got burnt out with those books. Do what works for you with reading always. I've really been needing the audio as an option lately for my physical books... no idea why. but i'm going with it and accepting the fact that book buying and book reading are two separate hobbies and my unread shelf isn't that bad.
So lately I’ve been sipping and thriving, but I think there are a few factors that are making it successful for me. I have literally 15 books on the go right now, all different genres and on different formats. I have one audiobook that I only listen to in the car on my commute. I have several arcs I’m cycling through. If I get really into a book I will binge it and finish it. Lastly, I’m constantly adding to my currently reading. Every time I finish a book I add on another one to keep it fresh and give me options. TLDR though I think read at whatever pace you’re at now, and be kinder to yourself. The enjoyment of reading will come back.
Next somebody comes at you for anything-tell them “you do you, and I’ll do me and let’s leave it at that”. As for remembering, I’m lucky if I can remember what I had for breakfast never mind all the details or the plot of a book I read 3 books ago (or am currently reading, lol). Ask them to recite all the names and details of all the tv shows and movie they watch. We go through different seasons in our life read what makes YOU happy now. Hugs!!
I am doing a Master in EngLit right know. And I cant read books just for myself anymore because my brain is so exhausted from the required reading in my course and during breaks I mostly read romance. Just doing shots of romance books in my breaks makes me feel bad becuase then I talk to other people in my course and they say that they do extra reading for the course during the break and dont read romance at all.
As others have said, don't be hard on yourself! I am 100% a mood reader and cannot force myself to read any books that I am not craving at that moment. I also realized in the last few months that I cannot push myself through books without plots, even if they are more "literary" and I've had to DNF some very highly beloved books because there was not inertia to take me through it. These are valid reasons to DNF and unhaul! It will still be there in 10, 20, years if you want to read it later.
1. I FEEL this so hard. As someone with an English college degree, I feel this completely. So much emphasis on shame of reading Literature over any other fiction. The literature with a CAPITAL “L” because that is better. So much shame for any genre fiction. 2. You are learning about yourself. 3. If you really want to read these chonky pieces, maybe you could try this strategy I got from Currently Reading Podcast. Pick one and make it a slow and steady. Where you set a timer or choose a page amount per day. Like 20 minutes or 10 pages and do only that much. Then you’re making progress, but you aren’t slogging like you are here. It would be an interesting ongoing experiment for you to see how that works for you. But you’re awesome with whatever you read and decide for yourself.
Thank you for sharing this with us! Also, I felt soooo seen watching this. I was shaming myself in the past couple months cuz I keep rotating between books. It felt "wrong" to be reading more than one book at a time, but it's awesome to see someone with similar brain connections! Continue reading some fun, fluffy stuff girlie. We love you! 💕
Take care of yourself! My brain still occasionally reminds me of the time an elementary school teacher told me I needed to move on to something more substantial than mystery fiction. Cue quite a long, unfortunate journey trying to be a "serious" reader...ugh. If you haven't before, give the podcast "Backlisted" a try--a group of people excitedly discussing beloved old books might be just the thing to reignite your pilot light.
I had a similar experience in junior high with a teacher. Haven't touched a book until years later when I decided to do my undergrad. in literary studies. It's sad how much a few simple words from teachers can affect someone's reading
I had an English teacher who was not impressed when l said Agatha Christie was a favourite author. This put me off for many years but during the first lockdown l decided to read her novels again inspired by you and the All about Agatha podcast.
For me not all books are created equally some I fly through and some I sip and that has nothing to do with enjoyment level etc - I read on average a book a day when I’m reading but sometimes I can go days without reading - I love your discourse on books and reading (no such thing as a failed experiment right we learn from everything )
Every now and then I start having that inner voice telling me that I used to love slow reading 500+ fantasies and other longer genres, and now it's the rare book (or well-loved author) that tempts me into that space. I actually enjoy reading quickly, which is the opposite of the current trend/discourse around slowing down your reading pace. I enjoy shorter books, I enjoy romance (which is generally faster to read) and I enjoy consuming lots of different stories/texts because I am not a tv/movie watcher these days. We're our own worst critics at times, but it's also hard when it feels like people are critiquing people who read a lot. Sometimes you can't win, and at the end of the day, it's about doing/reading what makes you happy, right?
So, Mara. I would listen to anything you vlog about. Just talking about your thoughts is excellent. I would love this channel with anything on it, not just books. You yourself are the reason we all watch this channel, it's your thoughts on the world (not just books) that I personally come back for. I say, go for whatever you can do. I dont think it's hard and fast that books and only books should be your focus here; the world is difficult right now. Im doing quite a lot of comfort reads because my brain is not ready rn for heavy or detauled, and it may never be. I'll still keep those books but accept/try to that that may never come back. Anyway, love ya forr you, thanks! ❤🫂🤗
I joined a reading group to read War and Peace over the course of a year. And another to read the Mantel trilogy also over a year. So just little bites of those while I keep reading the short ones quickly.
I still buy bigger books and like them but I really have to be mindful of planning smaller quicker books in between. My brain needs those quick wins! For May I have four 500 page books I would really like to get to and I’m already eyeing them wondering if it’s too ambitious.
I did something similar recently - got in the middle of about 4 books I just wasn't enjoying, one was part of a series I had previously loved. I finally just had to cut them all off and say - why am I spending my time on this when I clearly am not enjoying it? So I DNF'ed a book I'd been trying to read since July, I DNF'ed a BOTM that sounded great, but just didn't pan out. And I've managed to finish like 4 books in about 2 weeks, because I wasn't feeling smothered by the expectation to read these ones I didn't like anymore. Sending love, spoons, gentle air hugs, and good book mojo!
Be kind to yourself! Maybe next year pick 4 and slow read 1 a quarter, where your goal is more “read x chapters this week” so that you’re not killing yourself over the process and can still fit in the fast reads to keep your momentum up.
Last year I decided to pull all my chonky books off the shelf and read one a month. I pulled 14, assuming there would be at least 2 dnf’s. Out of 14 I finished 5 and dnf’d 9!! It was a disaster.
❤ Mara, you are so smart, and in this particular video I am watching the comments are truly truly interesting. I am still amazed at how you read so many books and remember SO much! ( The kitties for sure assist you a lot 😀) You are among the first Booktubers I watched, and always so inspiring. Keep sharing all your analysis and bookish thoughts. Regards from Mexico City ❤
Be kind to yourself! What is currently working for me is to balance the "heaviness" of the books I select in small batches. I don't set a strict TBR, but select maybe 4-6 books that I'm drawn to that week that I think will balance each other out in terms of payoff and mental/emotional energy needed. At any given moment I have an audiobook and two physical books (1 nonfiction, 1 fiction) in progress that I can turn to depending on how I'm feeling and then 1 or 2 books on standby in case I want to DNF or switch gears.
I’m so sorry you lost your reading mojo. That happened to me in March. I started the year so excited about my reading goals but by mid March I just wanted to work on my card making and watch my British murder mysteries. I then realized that I wasn’t particularly interested in the books I needed to read for the two book clubs I’m in. So I re-read one of my favorites and a book from my TBR that I thought I might really like (I loved it) and BOOM! I was able to finish my club books and move right on to more of my TBR. Also, I’m alternating watching shows with audiobooks because I still love paper crafting and knitting as well. Good luck!
I’m sorry your experiment threw you into a slump! But I think it’s good that you’re figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t! Good luck getting your reading mojo back! And be kind to yourself!
I failed a reading challenge a few months ago because I discovered the new video game BG3 & was sucked into the D&D universe for 3 months. I had never played D&D before and had been looking for a good RPG to get into. I just got back into reading and finished Cultish and started on Invisible Child by Andrea Elliott. I did read The Witching Hour by Anne Rice last year. 1000+ pages!!!
I feel like this is definitely one of those things you gotta think what would you tell a best friend that was in your shoes rn bc there are a million causes of why you arent living up to your expectation of how it would be in college and all of them are more than reasonable. Youre killing it!!
I got to the end of the last year and I was struggling to remember many of the books that I had read over the year. There were only a few that were good, yet I had achieved my reading goal. At that point, I figured it was my reading goal that was killing reading for me, so this year I decided to not set a goal at all (which felt weird, as I have had a reading goal every year since about 2004). I also decided I would read more classics, and slowly read them rather than rip through them. Pull out beautiful quotes and lines that hit me, and put them in my journal. So far, I haven't hit a slump, and my love for reading has returned. I have loved almost all the books that I have read so far this year: East of Eden, Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice (a reread), The Master and the Margarita, the Wind in the Willows, Cold Comfort Farm, and many others. I am reading just as much as I did last year, but the quality is so much better. I am plugging away at my TBR, and I told myself that if I wasn't into it within 40 pages, I would DNF (in previous years, the DNF cut off was about 100 pages).
I think we go through phases of reading. When I started reading more in college I inhaled urban fantasy. In high school I only read Stephen King, Dan Simmons and the Twilight books. I focused more on epic fantasy in the last decade with recent jaunts into sff romance and cosy fantasy because grim dark just makes me a rage filled monster so I stopped reading that. But I also go through phases where I read a lot (like 5 books in a week) and after that I binge TV show for a whole month without reading. I know we put a lot of pressure on ourselves about our reading (what we are reading and how we are reading it) but I find as I get older I don't care as much and am able to talk myself down from forcing myself to read the lastest most popular 500+ page book. I would call your experiment a semi success because you learned something about your current reading habits and likes. And you'll find your way back to reading so no worries. I doesn't have to be right now. Enjoy your knitting. (m)
Don’t be too hard on yourself! I’m in a similar but different boat with my TBR. I’m trying to work through all my TBR books before I buy new ones but all that I have left are fantasy series starters. My options are to start a bunch of series or just suck it up and buy the sequels before finishing anything else. I know this is not a big deal at all but it’s still frustrating. My other problem is I’m deff a mood reading and while I love a chunky fantasy series, I also love mystery and romance and I don’t have any more of those left on my TBR. I do think I can get through my TBR by the end of the year though which would be great!
I read a mere fraction of what you do every year, but I still need lighter or shorter things to break up the heavier or longer stuff. And I'm a "sipper," and I still need the recuperation time!
but yes, release the self-judgment! and the thing about you is that you communicate about books so thoughtfully, even the truly Jell-O shot books, that the literary experience still feels elevated to me.
In the past couple of years as I've been finishing up my bachelor's and working on getting a master's degree, I've been working on coming to terms with the fact that I really struggle with reading high fantasy nowadays, especially series, even though that used to be my favorite genre. My mind is so full with other stuff to do that I'm much more likely to pick up and actually finish romance books or speculative novellas nowadays, and I want to be fine with that, but I still find myself thinking "why can't I just read [insert high fantasy tome]?" often. It's not quite the exact same struggle as yours, but I recognized myself in some of the stuff you're saying in this video. It's good to know I'm not alone in all this
I feel antsy when I have books going on for too long, so a lot of this resonated with me, even though I do not have the speed capability to be a shot girly 😆
Give yourself some grace. We change over time that includes our reading. Before coming back to reading in 2021...I read very sparingly because I felt that I read through things to fast. I would push other things aside to finish the book. When I decided that I missed reading and wanted to get back into it, I made myself slow down a bit. I have found a sweet spot of about 70 books a year works for me. I have been having a bit of a slump this month. Which is okay because I know i will want to read again soon, so I am trying to enjoy the mental break.
The change in how/when/how much you read during grad school compared to after really resonated with me (liberal arts double major). I‘ve been a life long reader, across many genres and - like you - came to both love and loathe the way I trained myself to read during grad school. On the one hand the critical reading (all the parsing, the subtext, the annotations etc.) absolutely thrilled me and I got so much more out of everything I read (including my pleasure reading). On the other hand I became even more nitpicky than I was to begin with (cough, virgo, cough) and if anybody asked me about my reading they‘d think I must pick the worst books for myself according to all the criticism I‘d get into. But that was just me disecting EVERYTHING. 🧐 It took me a good long while to find a middle ground. One of the things I started doing is right after I‘ve finished a book write down (stream of consciousness style) my thoughts about the book. Depending on my mood and the book in question that can be a few sentences or short paragraph, but I‘ve also filled pages with ramblings that please nobody but myself. I tried to do a pretty book journal and I still want to, but time keeps running away from me. A girl‘s gotta have goals and a book journal all pretty and full of stats is still top of my list. Personally, I found this video very interesting indeed. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings on your reading, reading habits. I imagine many of your viewers do. So - back to the books, whenever you feel like it and in the meantime: kitty snuggles, needle work, and whatever else floats your boat. Lots of love from tiny town Austria, Monica 📚🐾🐾
you did get those huge books out of your tbr though, that's good! Buddy reads and re-reads help me personally get out of a slump, I hope you feel better about your reading soon
it's so interesting that you posted this because I have recently come to the same conclusion with my reading as well! maybe not the exact same but very similar. I hadn't read anything for about 2 months when I was averaging about 7-8 books a month. I noticed the more I tried to force myself to like something the less I wanted to read and tomes specifically just aren't for me unless I absolutely love the first couple chapters of a book. As you said, I think you should be kinder to yourself! I'm sure it's very different for a content creator tailored to books/reading but you should still give yourself a little grace! If anything this is just a small bump in an effort to refine your current tastes. Also, I love when you do these more rambley sit down type videos! Hope the zest for reading comes back for you and if you need time to just breathe away from reading or doing a try a chapter then I say go for it!
So sorry to hear that you've lost your desire to read. Be kind to yourself. There's no right or wrong way to read and it's good that you've now learned something about yourself. I'm quite the opposite in this regard. Whenever i try to get through books fast and read them in a day (for readathons and stuff), i find that i enjoy them less than if i take my time with it and have 4 or 5 things going at once. Does that mean i've been reading a book that is under 300 pages for almost 20 days now? Yes, but i like it that way
Balanced drinking - doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me. For longer books I’ve found that I am trying to split them out over a month or so. So I find a good point in the book (like end of a part or chapter etc) and treat that as a book itself. For nonfiction it helped me focus. I just have to stop feeling guilty about “not finishing” - work in progress. If a nonfiction takes me 3 months or more I feel like a bad reader. So agree with you - esp about reading for entertainment vs “learning” etc etc I, though, only have one or two big books with romance or other fun books at the same time. Because my wrists can’t take it of nothing else
I must add also, that watching D&D streams really is like reading a book as it's so active a thing to take in! It takes up space in my reading brain like a book would. I hope you find your grove in a way that makes you happy. Knit and watch if it satisfies you, or read like a fiend if that's what does it for you.
I have been struggling with reading for months. I just couldn't get into anything by my audiobook and was having trouble picking up physical books. I went from reading an average of 20 books a month to getting through 2-4 a month. I think a lot of it had to do with what was/is happening in the world right now. I am finally starting to come out of it thanks to Uncle Rick. I have started a reread of the Percy Jackson books and it is going swimmingly.
I can definitely relate (on a smaller scale, because I read slower and for less time per day than you do). At the start of the year I expressed my desire to read longer books. Then I read a high fantasy that took me three solid weeks to finish, and I hated the experience! It's taken some effort to regain my enthusiasm for reading. I re-read some old favourites and read some novellas and plays, which helped a bit.
augh you went with some HEAVY stuff! and yeah ours internalized biases can really mess with us. I'm a devout rereader. like I'll get piles of stuff from the library and most of it goes back to the library no regrets.... and some of it is "I must own my own copy of this" and really if I liked it that much I probably blew through it on the first read, unable to put it down, and when I reread it I absorb and analyze a lot more.
My favorite comment was I’m a Jell-O shot girl and not a wine connoisseur and I FELT THAT HARD. I got WAY burnt out after college. I still have hard time getting back into certain books without feeling like it’s a requirement.
Ooofff dang. I hope it doesn’t take too long to get back in the groove. How sad 😢 All year I’ve been rereading my favorites. For some reason anything new I try just isn’t hitting it. Maybe it’s a year for comfort for us all ❤❤❤
We are ALWAYS our own worst critic. Give yourself the break you would give literally anyone else. I have learned that non-fiction works best for me on audio, but I usually also have a fiction book going in physical format. I need something to break up the non-fiction. Hopefully that works for you too. ❤❤ Cut yourself some slack!! Lol
I'm at a really similar point in my life where i don't consume any "traditional media" anymore (except dimension 20)(seeing them live on Wednesday)(I'm so hyped), i just read. And what i find is that i can dedicate the, like, necessary brain power to a chunky thematically dense book ONLY if i have little palette cleansers in the back to keep my momentum up. Its kind've seemed weird to me since i didnt used to read this way, but the way I'm looking at it is I'm not the same person at 25 that i was at 15 so why wouldn't my reading a little more fucked up too 😂😂
I read a lot, and I sort of view my reading as a screen alternative activity. If I miss the point of a book because I wasn’t in the right headspace, I don’t worry about it.
Ahh, I miss Borders still. Sorry to hear of your struggling right now. Our reading tastes and styles change throughout our life, and it sounds like you’re going through a change right now. A suggestion for you is yes, pick up some rereads and books in genres you love and rekindle your love for reading again. What I do with the bigger or “harder” books I want to read is plot out how many days I want to spend reading it and then divide it into the number of pages to read each day. If I go over, great. Under, no big deal. Maybe I’ll make it up another day or just extend the days reading it. At the same time, I have a secondary book, or even a third that I’m also reading each day. Comfort books, favorites, etc. A little at a time, but it’s clearing my mind. I loved your wine sommelier to Jell-O shots on spring break analogy, I laughed out loud at that . I don’t know that I’ve ever been a sommelier but I think there was a time I wanted to be. It’s taken awhile, but I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to not be. Hang in there, Mara, you’ll get back to loving whatever groove you’re in right now too💕.
reading has always been in ebbs and flows for me, so this was very interesting to watch! I think that the more prescriptive I made my reading the more it feels like WORK (history undergrad/education grad here haha). reading as a hobby should be fun-and sometimes that's hard to allow yourself when you have high expectations. Some years I'll get through 50 books, other years I'll struggle to hit 15 and that's fine with me (even though I know there are people out there who read that amount in a month) because I'm letting myself enjoy it!!! you do you, and good luck with your next read :)
Something to consider, select a few books that you might want to ponder. Then put them into a slow down mode but resume your current method of reading. Make these books a special event for yourself. Consider making a date to read an hour of the book and putting it down. Enjoy both methods of reading. They are a part of who you are. I enjoy hearing about your love of books.
Really interesting video. Everyone's reading journey is different. I couldn't read a serious and heavy non-fiction without breaking it up with something that is light and fluffy. You do you!!
I feel you so hard with this. Friday was my last day of class for law school. I picked up my Kindle that night for the first time in more than a year. Audio books have been the only way I can cope because of the HUGE amount of reading I had for classes. Now I just want to kind of wallow in froth for awhile.
I'm sorry to hear that you're in a reading slump - ngl that's the worst, I hate when that happens. I hope you are not stressing about making content at all, because we would rather you be doing well emotionally and mentally instead of stressed and not passionate about the books that you are reading
Girl you tried to binge like 3 textbooks and a political fantasy... No wonder you got burnt out. Histories like those are meant to be sipped, 50 pages a day or whatever. Be kinder to yourself!
exactly! it's admirable to try and swing from one extreme to the other but might have had more luck sipping with some short or light books mixed in
People change;I used to read serious topics. Now I read strictly for pleasure, life is too short to scold yourself. Be you, you're amazing ❤
Well said!
I think a lot of people are hitting this wall right now. During covid lockdown it was fine to read just to read. These days we’re getting hit with the question of why we’re reading hundreds of books a year if we’re only going to love 30. I also personally had to disconnect from the online communities a bit - they tend to assume that books are the only way you’re engaging with the world. It’s also just different as a litfic reader. My own channel is on hold right now because you just can’t make batch content about two big litfics a month. That said, I think the language of “reading slumps” is messing with us. Where did we get the idea that we must always have a book going? Why do we blame ourselves when books are bad? Once you get through the pre-filtered backlist and start focusing on untested new releases, you’re going to get lots of duds if you don’t slow down.
I don't think there is anything wrong with reading mainly for entertainment. I personally find that I most enjoy my reading when I'm in that goldilocks zone, with the perfect ratio of "just for fun reads", "learning something reads", and "I'm a better person because of these reads". Maybe you just need to play around with your ratio a bit. I find I need at least 25-40% learning something new or from a different lived experience from my own, 5-10% books that lead to me having more empathy, being kinder, changing my world view, or some other life shift because of reading a particular book. Fun reads are huge for me I need 40-50%. If I don't have enough fun reads I end up just doing mindless scrolling instead. I not personally great at maintaining the correct ratio but when I do, I find that my reading enjoyment and satisfaction is at its peak.
Aw - I can see you’re super upset. Sending a hug. So I’m 50 years old and I have been a reader since I can remember. BUT - there have been times in my life when I read a lot, sometimes not at all. I went through about 10 years when I only read romance, at another time thrillers. Now I don’t read either genres. When my marriage ended I didn’t read at all for about 3-4 years - I just watched makeup videos on UA-cam. What I’m trying to say here is that there are all kinds of different seasons in your life. Be gentle with yourself and try not to judge yourself in whatever season you’re in- read or don’t read whatever brings you joy.
Interesting bc I’ve been judging myself for the opposite problem. Like “why can’t I just sit and focus on this entire book??” Or I judge myself for using audio too much. I think we are our own worst critics!
Amen!
I have been reading since I was four years old. I am now 71. I have a master’s degree in English, which required tons and tons and tons of reading. Over the years, I have found that my reading habits have changed…often. I would have reading kicks about specific genres. I would read several books at the same time. Now I only have two going at the same time. I used to only like reading sitting up. Now I can read lying down. I now enjoy audiobooks when in the past I didn’t. Change, change, change.
What I’m trying to say is allow your reading habits and preferences to change, morph, destabilize, become whatever you are at the moment. You’re doing fine
Hun, you've mentioned in most of your recent videos that you're low on spoons and not feeling amazing these days. (I am with you!) So it makes so much sense that you want light, fluffy, feel good reads and trying to force yourself to tackle big, dark, thought-provoking books would shut your brain down. I think it's a great idea to not read for a bit and when you do, read things that are brain candy! I do think you'll get back into the chonky, deeper stuff again eventually. It's all ebbs and flows with MH. ❤ Even if all you do for awhile are podcasts with Jess and Livestreams with bookish topics and not do the typical reading projects, we'll still be here!
Its ok ! Don't read- take a break. Research and plan a day trip or a weekend trip. Ride around your area and enjoy seeing all trees & flowers coming into bloom. Do things to take you mind off your reading slump. You inspire a lot of people just by being You !
Really appreciate this kind of chatty video, I think it's easy as a consumer of booktube and a reader in general to get stuck in hating your own habits and not recognize you wouldn't treat your friends that way. Helps to think about what serves you and what doesn't.
In high school, I used to sit for hours and read physically. Now, (mid 20s, post grad school) I read almost exclusively audio and about 2/3 of my reading is romance. I've been on a long journey of self acceptance and getting rid of judgment around these habits, but it's HARD to not judge yourself. I feel you.
Damn Mara, you turned something you love into a chore 😭😭😭 Like, go read some smutty books to go cleanse yourself 🤧❤️
I think it’s only natural that our reading styles change throughout the years. Here’s hoping you find whatever reading groove that suits you! ❤
Also, your video just made me realise that when I was younger and had less responsibility (and the world also seemed brighter), I read to read, the reading itself was THE thing. Nowadays I read to distract and joyerise myself for coping with the rest of my life and world, which is now the THING (the world and the rest of my life outside of reading). So I can't read something too detailed, my brain can't cope with detailed lifeing and detailed hard to remember books. 🤷
Ugh, I'm so sorry you've had such a miserable time with reading recently. I really felt for you watching this. As someone who loves to make reading plans but then is subject to a good deal of mood reading, I can imagine ending up in this unhappy, almost existential-crisis place with reading. I can be very judgy with myself too, and I have to remind myself sometimes that it's ok for reading to be whatever it needs to be for me (or you). That's what so amazing about books, the many things they can be for a person through the course of their lives, sometimes that even includes not being a part of your life at all and lying in wait for the day when they can be again, as happened to me after college. Now I know no matter how it's going at one point, reading is a life-long love affair for me. Wishing you the best reading vibes and hoping you'll get whatever it is you need! ❤🩹
My reading is much slower this year. I've DNF'D a ton, which is great bc I'm not forcing books I don't like. But finding books I DO like has been slim pickings. I've been re-reading books I know I enjoy. You're not alone!
Rest in Peace Borders - there will never be a book store like you.
I loved this video! In a weird way, we're opposites. I used to be a read one book at a time girl, and now I'm branching out to 3-4 at a time and I'm like "what am I doing???". But I appreciate the insights and the vulnerability that our reading and life can change over the course of years and that's perfectly okay. Sending love and care 🫶🏽
I can relate to your experience-- i went through something similar in my mid 30s and the result was that I read little to nothing for 10 yr! I am glad you are self aware enough to break the cycle! For me, it was thinking I needed to read litttterature. Work was more demanding, bfs were more serious -- I just didnt have the focus or mental capacity. Thankfully, 10 yr later in my mid 40s, I got back to reading but I gave myself "permission" to read lighter books-- mysteries, series, etc. and I have been reading daily ever since! Now I am 60, my vision is a mess and declining quickly and work is kicking my butt but I am reading. I am so sure you will find your reading mojo quickly-- you just need to remove all the pressure of what you *should* do. Read whatever the heck you want to read!
“Should” is truly the thief of reading joy 🥲
I think going through one's tbr can lead to moments like these, where we realize what actually works for us, and what doesn't. I too have learned that I really need to read a chapter or so into non-fiction books, if I want any chance of actually reading them. This is useful data for the future and will hopefully make my buying choices a better fit for the reader I am now.
I hope your reading starts to feel better soon! My way of reading books changed when I started to write fiction; I can’t sink in to stories as deeply anymore because I can’t stop analyzing how the prose works. I can still enjoy reading fiction, but not the way I did when I was only consuming it. That’s what we get for learning new skills?! 😅
Thank you for this. I used to be able to sit down and read a book in a day, and now I read about a book a month. I lost my ability to focus for hours after my mom died. But this is interesting -- maybe I just need to try other ways to schedule reading.
Thats totally ok!! Emotional trauma is absolutely a valid reason to stop reading or feel uninspired- any reason is valid. As long as you enjoy whatever and however much you read, you don't need to feel bad about it. Not reading isn't a moral failure
You are not alone in this 😕 I was a book a day girlie too and after I lost my mom two years ago I’ve been lucky to get through 1 or two a month. I’m just now starting to kick it back up a little. Sorry for your loss. ❤
Definitely the key is to be kind to yourself. I had a few tough years with work and burnt out from that. I couldn't handle anything that made me have to 'pay attention' and so that year I basically only read historical cosy mysteries. I felt that same internal judgement, that i should be reading more meaty books but as soon as i tried i ended up not wanting to read either! Long rambly way of saying, i feel you and empathise wholeheartedly. Ive got kinder to myself now and if i need a comfort blanket read then i reach for one even with all my wonderful chunky weighty reads looking at me - their time will come and life's too short to force read anything!
Ahh I am so sorry. I could really feel your sadness and frustration. Maybe treat yourself with another favourites-of-others-on-my-existing-TBR or something? Just do whatever works for you, even if it is not reading at all for a bit. Also, reading is reading. Please do not be so hard on yourself ❤
I super identify with how university can teach us to speed read. In recent years I’ve purposefully slowed my reading a bit so that I have more retention. I’ve brought my internal monologue back into reading instead of seeing a line at a time. I think I’m down to 50-60 pages an hour instead of the 100-120 I used to do. I’m much happier now.
I’ve also switched to mostly shorter books - I’m with you reading the jello-shot type of books. My favourite books are still mostly the 500-1200 page fantasy tomes, but I can’t read many of those per year. Having variety is what I’ve found works for my brain.
I second the people in the comments who are encouraging you to be yourself, and that we all change over time. Who you are today is awesome. I hope your enjoyment of reading recovers quickly.
I liked this chatty video :) It doesn't necessarily apply to your channel, but sometimes discussing reading can be full of presumptions on how, what or how much one should read and this just feels really genuine and down to earth.
I hope you will enjoy reading more soon :)
What you said resonated with me. After grad school in librarianship, years as a literature teacher, public school librarian, and high school librarian, I hear your burn out. I also have given up on movies and television. My solution is I am now mood reading. Let go of the guilt and read what makes you happy or don’t read at all! You need to reset. Take care of yourself and find your reading soul again. Relax and give yourself a break. 😉
Took ten years after grad school before I began to read again. Went back to the classics for rereads. So enjoy reading now and get more from the page content than I did when I was younger. I read slower and appreciate the text and subtext because of the more thoughtful reading experience.
I hope the break helps with you getting back into reading what you love. Screw your old TBR and pick what you want we will all be here regardless! ❤
I think it is normal to find it hard to tackle a chunky fiction or non-fiction book. I really need to be in the mood for those reads! Be kind to yourself and continue with mood reading. Absolutely no pressure on anyone to do more than that!
I’m similar. I’m my own worst critic and so kind and understanding to everyone around me. I like variety so while I could finish a book in a day, I prefer to read 2-4 books at the same time to avoid getting bored. I’m the same with series. I don’t like to pick up the next book right away, I tend to wait and read a book a month. Changing the perspective a little, this wasn’t a failure, just a period of data gathering to better understand your current book habits and how to stay happy and reading. Good luck with the slump, hope you come out of it with a hunger for reading again. ❤
I get like this sometimes, and it sounds so dumb; but I go in to goodreads and remove everything from the tbr. It feels good to just re-set and read what I'm drawn to not some perceived to-do list I gave myself, or some guilt list of I bought this at full price 8 years ago and haven't read it so I should read it. Good luck with the slump, enjoy the knitting and you'll find your way back.
I get the "I would've enjoyed it more it I had read it quickly". I'm a slow reader but if a book is just ok and I'm not done with it within a week, my enjoyment just plummets. It's like "I have a 100 books on my tbr, why am I STILL bothering with this one" 🙄
Sounds like this really messed with your momentum- I appreciate the vulnerability and the honesty. Things change in life. Sometimes it feels like the old way was better but this clearly shows that is not the case. Sorry it was so frustrating. ❤
It really is wild sometimes reflecting on how our reading habits change.
I've been working on similar thoughts around reading this year, too. I've transitioned almost entirely away from audiobooks to e-books because I realized I just don't comprehend or enjoy a book as much when I'm only listening. Overall, it's been a good shift.
I don't think you should judge yourself for reading differently now than you did in the past. Life has different phases-enjoy the one you're in.
Thanks for sharing your ramblings :) They're very relatable! Your feelings make a lot of sense. I'm glad you're letting go of these "shoulds" about your reading style in this season of life. I definitely relate and am VERY selective about long books and non-fiction. I hope you try to space out the non-fiction and "sip" on those when you're in the mood. Sometimes it takes me a year to finish a long non-fiction. Two I've been sipping on are "We Don't Know Ourselves: A Personal History of Modern Ireland" and "Empire of Pain" (rec'd by you!).
I have the same approach to books as you do and my favourite metaphor is that some people (like me) are book eaters - we like the feeling of consuming books and the pleasure comes from the finishing line, and then there are book swimmers, who like to wallow in sentences and read things slowly and thoroughly. Both to me are great and to each their own!
You live, you learn! Read however you feel like and if you felt to experiment with your old ways , you did and you learnt!
Long time watcher, first time commenter. What you’re describing sounds similar to my experience after I finished my English degree, so I totally get it. I was reading exclusively “the classics” that entire time, even over the summer on my own time. After graduate school (library science in my case), it all fell apart. I got stuck in Daniel Deronda by George Elliot and didn’t want to read anymore. I hated feeling that way, so I returned to what I enjoyed pre-degree (SFF) and expanded (mystery/thriller, horror, lit fic). I unapologetically tell people all the time that I’m too dumb for the classics now (semi jokingly), I don’t know who that girl was. 😆 And so be it! I’m having fun with my reading.
This video really resonated with me. I recently finished a PhD in Spanish literature, and ever since, I have really struggled to enjoy my reading. While I was wrapping things up with my degree, all I wanted to do was read mystery novels, and your channel even inspired me to read more things that I enjoy rather than things that I feel like I have to read. For example, I had to shelve Don Quixote because I realized that I would rather savor it and because I really want to read Crooked House by Agatha Christie. The post grad school struggle can be very real, and thank you for articulating that in your video.
I love to slip in short books to boost my confidence and feel like I'm being productive.
I’ve only been back into reading for a couple years now. And maybe it’s the fear of burning myself out, but I’m trying to give myself a lot of grace with my current reading. I’m trying to DNF more and give myself permission to prioritize something familiar and/or fluffy when I need to. It sucks that this project took the wind out of your sails like this, but it seems like you needed it to reset your expectations and reaffirm where you’re at now. Hope you can bounce back soon.
Trying a chapter is my tried and true method for picking books to read. Would recommend.
Not quite as extreme, but I had a book I started reading in the middle of February and as a monogamous reader it was ALL I was reading. It did kill my momentum, I wasn't reading, etc. So I just decided to read it every Thursday evening. Only on that day would I pick it up and it really helped. I still finished the book, but at a better pace, and still being able to pick up books that made me happy as per usual.
This is something that I was able to connect to so thoroughly as someone with several English/Humanities degrees; it's simultaneously unlocked a new way to read, but it's also ruined it because I'm so much more analytical with the books I'm picking up. My ability to read as a full time professor, full time mom, and full time MA student, it's hard to carve out time to read and to read purely for pleasure without the analytical part of my brain turning on.
Oof, I bet! It’s the downside of “doing what you love”- what you love becomes professionalized
I appreciate your authenticity always! I'm not surprised you got burnt out with those books. Do what works for you with reading always. I've really been needing the audio as an option lately for my physical books... no idea why. but i'm going with it and accepting the fact that book buying and book reading are two separate hobbies and my unread shelf isn't that bad.
So lately I’ve been sipping and thriving, but I think there are a few factors that are making it successful for me. I have literally 15 books on the go right now, all different genres and on different formats. I have one audiobook that I only listen to in the car on my commute. I have several arcs I’m cycling through. If I get really into a book I will binge it and finish it. Lastly, I’m constantly adding to my currently reading. Every time I finish a book I add on another one to keep it fresh and give me options.
TLDR though I think read at whatever pace you’re at now, and be kinder to yourself. The enjoyment of reading will come back.
Next somebody comes at you for anything-tell them “you do you, and I’ll do me and let’s leave it at that”. As for remembering, I’m lucky if I can remember what I had for breakfast never mind all the details or the plot of a book I read 3 books ago (or am currently reading, lol). Ask them to recite all the names and details of all the tv shows and movie they watch. We go through different seasons in our life read what makes YOU happy now. Hugs!!
I am doing a Master in EngLit right know. And I cant read books just for myself anymore because my brain is so exhausted from the required reading in my course and during breaks I mostly read romance. Just doing shots of romance books in my breaks makes me feel bad becuase then I talk to other people in my course and they say that they do extra reading for the course during the break and dont read romance at all.
As others have said, don't be hard on yourself! I am 100% a mood reader and cannot force myself to read any books that I am not craving at that moment. I also realized in the last few months that I cannot push myself through books without plots, even if they are more "literary" and I've had to DNF some very highly beloved books because there was not inertia to take me through it. These are valid reasons to DNF and unhaul! It will still be there in 10, 20, years if you want to read it later.
I used to read multiple books at once, but I find I enjoy reading a lot more reading one book at a time.
1. I FEEL this so hard. As someone with an English college degree, I feel this completely. So much emphasis on shame of reading Literature over any other fiction. The literature with a CAPITAL “L” because that is better. So much shame for any genre fiction.
2. You are learning about yourself.
3. If you really want to read these chonky pieces, maybe you could try this strategy I got from Currently Reading Podcast. Pick one and make it a slow and steady. Where you set a timer or choose a page amount per day. Like 20 minutes or 10 pages and do only that much. Then you’re making progress, but you aren’t slogging like you are here.
It would be an interesting ongoing experiment for you to see how that works for you.
But you’re awesome with whatever you read and decide for yourself.
I think I dodged a bullet by never going to grad school. If you ever do want some shorter and/or easier to read histories, let me know.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
Also, I felt soooo seen watching this. I was shaming myself in the past couple months cuz I keep rotating between books. It felt "wrong" to be reading more than one book at a time, but it's awesome to see someone with similar brain connections!
Continue reading some fun, fluffy stuff girlie. We love you! 💕
Take care of yourself! My brain still occasionally reminds me of the time an elementary school teacher told me I needed to move on to something more substantial than mystery fiction. Cue quite a long, unfortunate journey trying to be a "serious" reader...ugh. If you haven't before, give the podcast "Backlisted" a try--a group of people excitedly discussing beloved old books might be just the thing to reignite your pilot light.
I had a similar experience in junior high with a teacher. Haven't touched a book until years later when I decided to do my undergrad. in literary studies. It's sad how much a few simple words from teachers can affect someone's reading
Ugh I hate to hear that- teachers should be encouraging any kind of joy kids are finding in reading!
I had an English teacher who was not impressed when l said Agatha Christie was a favourite author. This put me off for many years but during the first lockdown l decided to read her novels again inspired by you and the All about Agatha podcast.
For me not all books are created equally some I fly through and some I sip and that has nothing to do with enjoyment level etc - I read on average a book a day when I’m reading but sometimes I can go days without reading - I love your discourse on books and reading (no such thing as a failed experiment right we learn from everything )
Every now and then I start having that inner voice telling me that I used to love slow reading 500+ fantasies and other longer genres, and now it's the rare book (or well-loved author) that tempts me into that space. I actually enjoy reading quickly, which is the opposite of the current trend/discourse around slowing down your reading pace. I enjoy shorter books, I enjoy romance (which is generally faster to read) and I enjoy consuming lots of different stories/texts because I am not a tv/movie watcher these days. We're our own worst critics at times, but it's also hard when it feels like people are critiquing people who read a lot. Sometimes you can't win, and at the end of the day, it's about doing/reading what makes you happy, right?
So, Mara. I would listen to anything you vlog about. Just talking about your thoughts is excellent. I would love this channel with anything on it, not just books. You yourself are the reason we all watch this channel, it's your thoughts on the world (not just books) that I personally come back for.
I say, go for whatever you can do. I dont think it's hard and fast that books and only books should be your focus here; the world is difficult right now. Im doing quite a lot of comfort reads because my brain is not ready rn for heavy or detauled, and it may never be. I'll still keep those books but accept/try to that that may never come back.
Anyway, love ya forr you, thanks! ❤🫂🤗
I joined a reading group to read War and Peace over the course of a year. And another to read the Mantel trilogy also over a year. So just little bites of those while I keep reading the short ones quickly.
I still buy bigger books and like them but I really have to be mindful of planning smaller quicker books in between. My brain needs those quick wins! For May I have four 500 page books I would really like to get to and I’m already eyeing them wondering if it’s too ambitious.
I did something similar recently - got in the middle of about 4 books I just wasn't enjoying, one was part of a series I had previously loved. I finally just had to cut them all off and say - why am I spending my time on this when I clearly am not enjoying it? So I DNF'ed a book I'd been trying to read since July, I DNF'ed a BOTM that sounded great, but just didn't pan out. And I've managed to finish like 4 books in about 2 weeks, because I wasn't feeling smothered by the expectation to read these ones I didn't like anymore. Sending love, spoons, gentle air hugs, and good book mojo!
Be kind to yourself! Maybe next year pick 4 and slow read 1 a quarter, where your goal is more “read x chapters this week” so that you’re not killing yourself over the process and can still fit in the fast reads to keep your momentum up.
Last year I decided to pull all my chonky books off the shelf and read one a month. I pulled 14, assuming there would be at least 2 dnf’s. Out of 14 I finished 5 and dnf’d 9!! It was a disaster.
When I get a book hangover or do not know what to read I reread an old favorite like Ilona Andrews.
❤ Mara, you are so smart, and in this particular video I am watching the comments are truly truly interesting. I am still amazed at how you read so many books and remember SO much! ( The kitties for sure assist you a lot 😀) You are among the first Booktubers I watched, and always so inspiring. Keep sharing all your analysis and bookish thoughts. Regards from Mexico City ❤
Be kind to yourself! What is currently working for me is to balance the "heaviness" of the books I select in small batches. I don't set a strict TBR, but select maybe 4-6 books that I'm drawn to that week that I think will balance each other out in terms of payoff and mental/emotional energy needed. At any given moment I have an audiobook and two physical books (1 nonfiction, 1 fiction) in progress that I can turn to depending on how I'm feeling and then 1 or 2 books on standby in case I want to DNF or switch gears.
I like this philosophy.
I’m so sorry you lost your reading mojo. That happened to me in March. I started the year so excited about my reading goals but by mid March I just wanted to work on my card making and watch my British murder mysteries. I then realized that I wasn’t particularly interested in the books I needed to read for the two book clubs I’m in. So I re-read one of my favorites and a book from my TBR that I thought I might really like (I loved it) and BOOM! I was able to finish my club books and move right on to more of my TBR. Also, I’m alternating watching shows with audiobooks because I still love paper crafting and knitting as well. Good luck!
I’m sorry your experiment threw you into a slump! But I think it’s good that you’re figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t! Good luck getting your reading mojo back! And be kind to yourself!
I failed a reading challenge a few months ago because I discovered the new video game BG3 & was sucked into the D&D universe for 3 months. I had never played D&D before and had been looking for a good RPG to get into. I just got back into reading and finished Cultish and started on Invisible Child by Andrea Elliott. I did read The Witching Hour by Anne Rice last year. 1000+ pages!!!
I feel like this is definitely one of those things you gotta think what would you tell a best friend that was in your shoes rn bc there are a million causes of why you arent living up to your expectation of how it would be in college and all of them are more than reasonable. Youre killing it!!
I also have a chronic illness. When I am not feeling well and in a flare it is much harder to concentrate. My illness does affect my reading
I got to the end of the last year and I was struggling to remember many of the books that I had read over the year. There were only a few that were good, yet I had achieved my reading goal. At that point, I figured it was my reading goal that was killing reading for me, so this year I decided to not set a goal at all (which felt weird, as I have had a reading goal every year since about 2004). I also decided I would read more classics, and slowly read them rather than rip through them. Pull out beautiful quotes and lines that hit me, and put them in my journal. So far, I haven't hit a slump, and my love for reading has returned. I have loved almost all the books that I have read so far this year: East of Eden, Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice (a reread), The Master and the Margarita, the Wind in the Willows, Cold Comfort Farm, and many others. I am reading just as much as I did last year, but the quality is so much better. I am plugging away at my TBR, and I told myself that if I wasn't into it within 40 pages, I would DNF (in previous years, the DNF cut off was about 100 pages).
I think we go through phases of reading. When I started reading more in college I inhaled urban fantasy. In high school I only read Stephen King, Dan Simmons and the Twilight books. I focused more on epic fantasy in the last decade with recent jaunts into sff romance and cosy fantasy because grim dark just makes me a rage filled monster so I stopped reading that. But I also go through phases where I read a lot (like 5 books in a week) and after that I binge TV show for a whole month without reading. I know we put a lot of pressure on ourselves about our reading (what we are reading and how we are reading it) but I find as I get older I don't care as much and am able to talk myself down from forcing myself to read the lastest most popular 500+ page book. I would call your experiment a semi success because you learned something about your current reading habits and likes. And you'll find your way back to reading so no worries. I doesn't have to be right now. Enjoy your knitting. (m)
Don’t be too hard on yourself! I’m in a similar but different boat with my TBR. I’m trying to work through all my TBR books before I buy new ones but all that I have left are fantasy series starters. My options are to start a bunch of series or just suck it up and buy the sequels before finishing anything else. I know this is not a big deal at all but it’s still frustrating. My other problem is I’m deff a mood reading and while I love a chunky fantasy series, I also love mystery and romance and I don’t have any more of those left on my TBR. I do think I can get through my TBR by the end of the year though which would be great!
I read a mere fraction of what you do every year, but I still need lighter or shorter things to break up the heavier or longer stuff. And I'm a "sipper," and I still need the recuperation time!
but yes, release the self-judgment! and the thing about you is that you communicate about books so thoughtfully, even the truly Jell-O shot books, that the literary experience still feels elevated to me.
In the past couple of years as I've been finishing up my bachelor's and working on getting a master's degree, I've been working on coming to terms with the fact that I really struggle with reading high fantasy nowadays, especially series, even though that used to be my favorite genre. My mind is so full with other stuff to do that I'm much more likely to pick up and actually finish romance books or speculative novellas nowadays, and I want to be fine with that, but I still find myself thinking "why can't I just read [insert high fantasy tome]?" often. It's not quite the exact same struggle as yours, but I recognized myself in some of the stuff you're saying in this video. It's good to know I'm not alone in all this
Hugs to you Mara
I feel antsy when I have books going on for too long, so a lot of this resonated with me, even though I do not have the speed capability to be a shot girly 😆
lol I think the difference between a shot girly and wine girly is maybe a margarita? 😆
Give yourself some grace. We change over time that includes our reading. Before coming back to reading in 2021...I read very sparingly because I felt that I read through things to fast. I would push other things aside to finish the book. When I decided that I missed reading and wanted to get back into it, I made myself slow down a bit. I have found a sweet spot of about 70 books a year works for me. I have been having a bit of a slump this month. Which is okay because I know i will want to read again soon, so I am trying to enjoy the mental break.
The change in how/when/how much you read during grad school compared to after really resonated with me (liberal arts double major). I‘ve been a life long reader, across many genres and - like you - came to both love and loathe the way I trained myself to read during grad school.
On the one hand the critical reading (all the parsing, the subtext, the annotations etc.) absolutely thrilled me and I got so much more out of everything I read (including my pleasure reading). On the other hand I became even more nitpicky than I was to begin with (cough, virgo, cough) and if anybody asked me about my reading they‘d think I must pick the worst books for myself according to all the criticism I‘d get into. But that was just me disecting EVERYTHING. 🧐
It took me a good long while to find a middle ground. One of the things I started doing is right after I‘ve finished a book write down (stream of consciousness style) my thoughts about the book. Depending on my mood and the book in question that can be a few sentences or short paragraph, but I‘ve also filled pages with ramblings that please nobody but myself.
I tried to do a pretty book journal and I still want to, but time keeps running away from me. A girl‘s gotta have goals and a book journal all pretty and full of stats is still top of my list.
Personally, I found this video very interesting indeed. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings on your reading, reading habits. I imagine many of your viewers do.
So - back to the books, whenever you feel like it and in the meantime: kitty snuggles, needle work, and whatever else floats your boat. Lots of love from tiny town Austria, Monica 📚🐾🐾
you did get those huge books out of your tbr though, that's good! Buddy reads and re-reads help me personally get out of a slump, I hope you feel better about your reading soon
it's so interesting that you posted this because I have recently come to the same conclusion with my reading as well! maybe not the exact same but very similar. I hadn't read anything for about 2 months when I was averaging about 7-8 books a month. I noticed the more I tried to force myself to like something the less I wanted to read and tomes specifically just aren't for me unless I absolutely love the first couple chapters of a book. As you said, I think you should be kinder to yourself! I'm sure it's very different for a content creator tailored to books/reading but you should still give yourself a little grace! If anything this is just a small bump in an effort to refine your current tastes. Also, I love when you do these more rambley sit down type videos! Hope the zest for reading comes back for you and if you need time to just breathe away from reading or doing a try a chapter then I say go for it!
So sorry to hear that you've lost your desire to read. Be kind to yourself. There's no right or wrong way to read and it's good that you've now learned something about yourself.
I'm quite the opposite in this regard. Whenever i try to get through books fast and read them in a day (for readathons and stuff), i find that i enjoy them less than if i take my time with it and have 4 or 5 things going at once. Does that mean i've been reading a book that is under 300 pages for almost 20 days now? Yes, but i like it that way
Stay who you are, You wouldn't tell someone else they need to read faster. Be you... you're amazing. 😊
Balanced drinking - doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me.
For longer books I’ve found that I am trying to split them out over a month or so. So I find a good point in the book (like end of a part or chapter etc) and treat that as a book itself. For nonfiction it helped me focus. I just have to stop feeling guilty about “not finishing” - work in progress. If a nonfiction takes me 3 months or more I feel like a bad reader. So agree with you - esp about reading for entertainment vs “learning” etc etc
I, though, only have one or two big books with romance or other fun books at the same time. Because my wrists can’t take it of nothing else
I must add also, that watching D&D streams really is like reading a book as it's so active a thing to take in! It takes up space in my reading brain like a book would. I hope you find your grove in a way that makes you happy. Knit and watch if it satisfies you, or read like a fiend if that's what does it for you.
I have been struggling with reading for months. I just couldn't get into anything by my audiobook and was having trouble picking up physical books. I went from reading an average of 20 books a month to getting through 2-4 a month. I think a lot of it had to do with what was/is happening in the world right now. I am finally starting to come out of it thanks to Uncle Rick. I have started a reread of the Percy Jackson books and it is going swimmingly.
I can definitely relate (on a smaller scale, because I read slower and for less time per day than you do). At the start of the year I expressed my desire to read longer books. Then I read a high fantasy that took me three solid weeks to finish, and I hated the experience! It's taken some effort to regain my enthusiasm for reading. I re-read some old favourites and read some novellas and plays, which helped a bit.
augh you went with some HEAVY stuff! and yeah ours internalized biases can really mess with us.
I'm a devout rereader. like I'll get piles of stuff from the library and most of it goes back to the library no regrets.... and some of it is "I must own my own copy of this" and really if I liked it that much I probably blew through it on the first read, unable to put it down, and when I reread it I absorb and analyze a lot more.
Rereading is the bessssttt
My favorite comment was I’m a Jell-O shot girl and not a wine connoisseur and I FELT THAT HARD.
I got WAY burnt out after college. I still have hard time getting back into certain books without feeling like it’s a requirement.
Ooofff dang. I hope it doesn’t take too long to get back in the groove. How sad 😢
All year I’ve been rereading my favorites. For some reason anything new I try just isn’t hitting it. Maybe it’s a year for comfort for us all ❤❤❤
We are ALWAYS our own worst critic. Give yourself the break you would give literally anyone else.
I have learned that non-fiction works best for me on audio, but I usually also have a fiction book going in physical format. I need something to break up the non-fiction. Hopefully that works for you too. ❤❤ Cut yourself some slack!! Lol
I'm at a really similar point in my life where i don't consume any "traditional media" anymore (except dimension 20)(seeing them live on Wednesday)(I'm so hyped), i just read. And what i find is that i can dedicate the, like, necessary brain power to a chunky thematically dense book ONLY if i have little palette cleansers in the back to keep my momentum up. Its kind've seemed weird to me since i didnt used to read this way, but the way I'm looking at it is I'm not the same person at 25 that i was at 15 so why wouldn't my reading a little more fucked up too 😂😂
JEALOUS of that live D20 experience!
I read a lot, and I sort of view my reading as a screen alternative activity. If I miss the point of a book because I wasn’t in the right headspace, I don’t worry about it.
Ahh, I miss Borders still. Sorry to hear of your struggling right now. Our reading tastes and styles change throughout our life, and it sounds like you’re going through a change right now. A suggestion for you is yes, pick up some rereads and books in genres you love and rekindle your love for reading again. What I do with the bigger or “harder” books I want to read is plot out how many days I want to spend reading it and then divide it into the number of pages to read each day. If I go over, great. Under, no big deal. Maybe I’ll make it up another day or just extend the days reading it. At the same time, I have a secondary book, or even a third that I’m also reading each day. Comfort books, favorites, etc. A little at a time, but it’s clearing my mind. I loved your wine sommelier to Jell-O shots on spring break analogy, I laughed out loud at that . I don’t know that I’ve ever been a sommelier but I think there was a time I wanted to be. It’s taken awhile, but I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to not be. Hang in there, Mara, you’ll get back to loving whatever groove you’re in right now too💕.
Forgive yourself; read or reread some of your favorite comfort reads :) Come down the silly webtoon rabbit hole and never escape.
reading has always been in ebbs and flows for me, so this was very interesting to watch! I think that the more prescriptive I made my reading the more it feels like WORK (history undergrad/education grad here haha). reading as a hobby should be fun-and sometimes that's hard to allow yourself when you have high expectations. Some years I'll get through 50 books, other years I'll struggle to hit 15 and that's fine with me (even though I know there are people out there who read that amount in a month) because I'm letting myself enjoy it!!! you do you, and good luck with your next read :)
Something to consider, select a few books that you might want to ponder. Then put them into a slow down mode but resume your current method of reading. Make these books a special event for yourself. Consider making a date to read an hour of the book and putting it down. Enjoy both methods of reading. They are a part of who you are. I enjoy hearing about your love of books.
Really interesting video. Everyone's reading journey is different. I couldn't read a serious and heavy non-fiction without breaking it up with something that is light and fluffy. You do you!!
I totally agree!
I feel you so hard with this. Friday was my last day of class for law school. I picked up my Kindle that night for the first time in more than a year. Audio books have been the only way I can cope because of the HUGE amount of reading I had for classes. Now I just want to kind of wallow in froth for awhile.
I'm sorry to hear that you're in a reading slump - ngl that's the worst, I hate when that happens. I hope you are not stressing about making content at all, because we would rather you be doing well emotionally and mentally instead of stressed and not passionate about the books that you are reading