How To Deal With Toxic Coworkers

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  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 66

  • @ALifeEngineered
    @ALifeEngineered  8 місяців тому +3

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  • @missjazzytan
    @missjazzytan 8 місяців тому +99

    How would you deal with toxic coworkers who are higher level than you and are clearly playing games to make themselves seem more valuable in front of the big boss?

    • @mlguy8376
      @mlguy8376 8 місяців тому +6

      If you don’t have a connection or a skip manager then HR or leave (secret info here HR puts the company first) - you stay at a place to continue growing, learning new things and grinding titles (if that is what you want) a toxic direct manager will make it hard on the first two, and even harder for the later.

    • @judicaeltombo6663
      @judicaeltombo6663 8 місяців тому +15

      Quiet quiet and apply elsewhere; it's a dead end. I've been there before. At the time I sensed I'd be fired because of the unrealistic deadlines set by my lead and manager, who were tight with head of HR. They had a habit of firing devs on a whim, including three to four devs before me. In the end, I got fired 🔥 Since I went with my gut feeling I applied to other jobs during my pip process. I ended up getting a job shortly after my termination and for more pay.

    • @DEVDerr
      @DEVDerr 8 місяців тому +6

      Been there. Just leave
      It will only impact your mental health badly.
      I was trying to overcome this, but I've only extended the agony which made my recovery way longer than it should. Health&time is too valuable to deal with such bullshit.

    • @richard975
      @richard975 8 місяців тому +1

      send out 20 job applications immediately, no hesitation

  • @jeffreyt999
    @jeffreyt999 8 місяців тому +17

    i loved that saying. "Others judge us by our actions while we judge ourselves by our intentions."

  • @olala7846
    @olala7846 8 місяців тому +22

    Key notes:
    1. Don't stoop to the level of toxic coworkers 2:01
    2. A toxic cowerkers is not likely to change their behavior 9:36
    3. Make sure YOU aren't the toxic cowerker 22:04

  • @annle986
    @annle986 8 місяців тому +13

    i love this vid ! It's very refreshing to see such a compassionate and self-aware lead with great communication skill like yourself :)! The last part where you said make sure you're not a toxic person really makes me want to write this comment.
    I'm a girl in tech who has encountered so many unkind and egotistical individuals and managers who lack self-awareness. I think there's a hierarchy in tech that puts more weight on being a technical superior than a kind person so people just stick to that. Even when I like engineering, I've been thinking about leaving for some time (another option is to become my female boss, who has to be a tough ass to appear more capable). Wish I had a mentor like you in the field Steve :).

  • @МартыновИлья-т1ь
    @МартыновИлья-т1ь 7 місяців тому

    It's very true that a person won't change his behaviour. Never seen it in my career.

  • @nkj123
    @nkj123 8 місяців тому +1

    I have been binge watching your channel for quite a bit now. I must say that I am enjoying the high quality content. Please keep it coming. I'd like to see more of you when I start a SWE job. Currently, in college.

  • @skyhappy
    @skyhappy 8 місяців тому +8

    6:20 is so true...I saw it last May. The product manager proposed a solution but it sucked. Was unintuitive. A dev implemented it but it never got brought into production.
    Few months later, another dev, a bit more brilliant, implemented it with a better solution. I remember him telling someone "you have to talk to the users". To know their raw concerns. After making it his way, he met with users and he said they loved it. His solution was a simple to-do list on the left side so users could go back to things they bookmarked. It worked great.
    And as a developer, you can tell which solution is both technically feasible as well as most practical. Proudct managers usually aren't devs so they have no idea which solution is feasible.

  • @joe3265
    @joe3265 8 місяців тому

    Some of the most useful advice I have seen on yt. Even if I'm not guilty of pessimism or have received complaints as noted in one of the points (dealing with fake excitement from corporatism), I found it helpful to reflect on that possibility that I may respond in a particular way from that belief. While I may not agree with that vibe, I do not want to make things difficult for my team. As far as toxic managers, yes it can make it difficult but unfortunately it can trickle down into creating a hostile environment amongst your coworkers. I agree that the best solution is not to engage in these behaviors. It can be helpful (as it was for me) to trust that eventually everyone's character comes to the surface. I've also found that when we collectively (and professionally) challenge the manager, we can and have made a better environment. Though, like /ourguy/ mentions, it may be best to move on if you can, as it can eventually turn you into a bitter coworker. Thanks for portraying an accurate view that isn't all doom, wish more teams had leads that can help others grow, it isn't all just about code like you mentioned.

  • @ryanmanak4129
    @ryanmanak4129 8 місяців тому

    This channel is absolute gold!

  • @cigdemylmaz1532
    @cigdemylmaz1532 7 місяців тому

    Thanks for great advise !

  • @FireworkintheRain
    @FireworkintheRain 8 місяців тому +1

    What to do if I don't have enough career capital to leave a toxic environment in this bad economy? Feel the work is unsustainable and sacrificing personal life even health.
    (only ~2 YOE; previous company shut down; landed this job 2 months ago; tried the market and know it's hard; even if I find another opportunity, most likely I have to sacrifice other aspects like location)

  • @learyryan
    @learyryan 8 місяців тому

    Wow congrats on taking the leap to the next phase! I look forward to seeing what you do next.

  • @ArpanAsawa
    @ArpanAsawa 8 місяців тому

    Honestly "corporate talk" is result of people being "professional". I used to find them annoying when I was "straightforward". I don't find them annoying anymore cause I'm "professional" now 😂.

  • @abudhabi9850
    @abudhabi9850 8 місяців тому +2

    Hi Steve love your vids! Keep it up, always watch them. Your takeaways are really helpful for a starting engineer like me. Btw, when listening to your video the audio sounds a bit cold/far away. Maybe a warmer mic would make your videos even better!

  • @some1rational
    @some1rational 8 місяців тому

    this was great, really enjoy the advice, explanations, and reasoning behind what is said

  • @KevinNaughtonJr
    @KevinNaughtonJr 8 місяців тому +2

    ending "hat" me dying 😂

  • @colevano
    @colevano 8 місяців тому +6

    Nice hat, Steve!

  • @kcnl2522
    @kcnl2522 8 місяців тому

    Im quitting this week because of toxic coworkers/seniors not letting me do anything (which results to not learning or moving in my career). Anyway i can avoid this happening again?

  • @ordinarygg
    @ordinarygg 8 місяців тому

    Please work on sound) adjust a bit because I thought my right ear is shut-down)

  • @KevinNaughtonJr
    @KevinNaughtonJr 8 місяців тому +1

    great vid steve, also you look great in maize and blue :P

  • @NigelGale1188
    @NigelGale1188 8 місяців тому

    This is great content, steve.

  • @oleksandrkhivrych6349
    @oleksandrkhivrych6349 7 місяців тому

    Can talking with the skip manager make things worse?

  • @TomaszKokoszka
    @TomaszKokoszka 8 місяців тому

    Hi Steve. Great video!
    Question: what are your thoughts and advices on delivering constructive criticism? Are there some frameworks for that that you would recommend? How to construct the message? Most cases are ambiguous, how to be sure to not jump the gun?

  • @jimbojimbo6873
    @jimbojimbo6873 8 місяців тому +1

    What do when you are toxic co worker

  • @MichaelLazarski
    @MichaelLazarski 8 місяців тому

    Can you make a video "How to take the edge of my communication". I see that this is a common problem I have and also according to this video comments

  • @17aleshka
    @17aleshka 8 місяців тому

    Hey, nice sound! Where do you hide your mic?

  • @cbrrebates
    @cbrrebates 8 місяців тому +2

    Toxic coworkers are everywhere

  • @Fanaro
    @Fanaro 8 місяців тому

    9:50 Shouldn't it be a skip-2-level boss? Your skip-level boss is still very closely related to your boss. Of course, not all companies have that many levels, and even fewer allow for employees way down to talk to them.

    • @robertlemiesz7143
      @robertlemiesz7143 8 місяців тому

      The fact that your skip level works closely with your boss is a feature and not a bug.
      If your manager is behaving in a way that is not productive, your skip level will want to know. Your managers performance is something that your skip level is evaluated on.

  • @_jko
    @_jko 8 місяців тому +1

    Sound isn't balanced. The right side is significantly louder. Your last 30 seconds about another video is correctly balanced but the sound quality is atrocious like I'm hearing this through the phone line.
    Content wise, very good though. I agree with you on the last advice. People need to learn how to teach better.

  • @keanu8539
    @keanu8539 8 місяців тому

    Hey Steve, I'm not sure if it's just me, but your video's audio is mainly playing in my right headphone channel, and not both - is that intentional?

  • @mohibquadri4053
    @mohibquadri4053 8 місяців тому

    Sir in any industry before joining the company as engineer how to identify pain points or concerns of our boss/recruiters before interview or after it so i can position myself as solution to those problems ? How to use fear or loss aversion to improve our impact and success rate..

  • @fateriddle14
    @fateriddle14 7 місяців тому

    Another youtuber just quit the job and I was suddenly like "I haven't seen life engineered video at all, I thought he quit job to be focusing on creating content", and I'm here, 3 videos after 2 months into retirement...

  • @robertlemiesz7143
    @robertlemiesz7143 8 місяців тому

    Im not sure I agree with the point made at 15:54.
    Both statements to me sounded like slightly reworded versions of the same thing, and your manager would be asinine to prefer one over the other. I get that it can be un-professional to always be pessemistic, but I think over using of corporate bullshit it beurecratic professionalism, that in the end does not help the team meet their objective.
    I think what ive learned over the years is to:
    1. Save your true feelings for your manager/senior 1:1s or team level retros. I always expect my team to be extremly honest in those and cut the corporate bullshit. Sometimes I'll hear patterns of complaining coming from multiple juniors, and to me that is signal of a systemic problem that needs to be escalated.
    2. For wider org level review meetings, don't come in ranting about problems. Rather write up a document explaining your position and include data supporting your assesments. Most importantly make sure you propose solutions.
    diverist"

  • @stefanwullems
    @stefanwullems 8 місяців тому

    Great content! I switched from software dev to IT Career Coach and I’ll expect to get a lot of value from your youtube channel! :)

  • @emersonpfeiffer9674
    @emersonpfeiffer9674 8 місяців тому

    Hey Steve. Michigan alum here. That blue hat looks real nice on you 😉〽️

  • @namjitharavind
    @namjitharavind 8 місяців тому

    I am working as contractor java developer in amazon. Is there any proper way to get it permanent

  • @LastToTheParty777
    @LastToTheParty777 8 місяців тому

    It doesn't really seem like your thing, but one day can you do some reviews on Blind posts? Would love to see you review some funny ones but I also come across a serious post once in a while and wonder what you would think about it.

  • @jimmylingo-km3sr
    @jimmylingo-km3sr 8 місяців тому

    Good luck on your transition from Amazon. Sounds like you're choosing YT over another dev job. Regardless, thanks for all the great vids and hope things go well for you!

  • @棗こころ-z1x
    @棗こころ-z1x 8 місяців тому +1

    Next: How to Deal with Toxic company?

    • @skyhappy
      @skyhappy 8 місяців тому

      you got 2 simple options:
      1. bear with it
      2. leave

  • @kanesee
    @kanesee 8 місяців тому +2

    The video was great as always. But I can't help but think that it was all a big setup to call Michigan fans toxic

  • @jicalzad
    @jicalzad 7 місяців тому

    Seems like everyone has a "toxic" coworker these days. I don't believe i've ever considered a coworker/boss "toxic." Sure, I've worked with my fair share of annoying, and maybe lazy people. I don't know, i guess i interpret the word "toxic" differently than most. I think the word is overused by the way. Maybe viewing others as just being lazy and/or annoying would help, instead of viewing people as "toxic."

  • @rowanmenezes7635
    @rowanmenezes7635 8 місяців тому +3

    Hi Steve! What watch are you wearing? Sorry watch nerd here :)

  • @skavihekkora5039
    @skavihekkora5039 7 місяців тому

    How you deal with a lead that doesnt document their work and communicates with single sentences or words

  • @anthonyh618
    @anthonyh618 8 місяців тому

    GO BLUE!

  • @rafaeldeleon3386
    @rafaeldeleon3386 8 місяців тому

    An M is an upside down W, if that's any consolation.

  • @GrandTerr
    @GrandTerr 8 місяців тому

    My biggest problem is me being dismissive and or angry related to what we are doing and not the person. People wrongly associate it with their own experience of stress derived from person vs person confrontations into the mix. Rarely there are smart people who get it and don't go personal

  • @mikerico6175
    @mikerico6175 8 місяців тому

    Layoffs are not the last resort 😂

  • @Xammed
    @Xammed 8 місяців тому

    Taking my Amazon online assessment today for L5 swe. Oh irony.

  • @alansnyder8448
    @alansnyder8448 8 місяців тому

    Go Blue!! Hope you are okay with this comment. I'm trying not to be toxic, just funny.

  • @PaladinJenkis
    @PaladinJenkis 8 місяців тому +1

    You had me at OnlyFans!

  • @jkho8365
    @jkho8365 8 місяців тому

    no way u have only made 37 videos haha. i thought it was alot more

  • @makshat10
    @makshat10 8 місяців тому +1

    Go blue haha

  • @imocha22222
    @imocha22222 7 місяців тому

    the majority of this video was not about how to deal with toxic coworkers :(

  • @akshat_tamrakar
    @akshat_tamrakar 8 місяців тому

    Worst advice I've ever heard