I wanted to express my gratitude to each and everyone of you. Thankyou so much. Thankyou for supporting me, thankyou for joining me on this journey and thankyou for giving me a platform. But most of all thankyou for trying to be that version of yourself you know you are capable of being. You are all so powerful. I love you all so much and may you always be blessed. ♥️
Thank you for being beautiful inside and out, and having the courage, tenacity and grace to remain consistent in showing up for yourself. As when you show up for you, you inspire others to continue to show up too. And we all know truly how difficult it is sometimes to show up. Thank you for being you throughout the process and for sharing your gift of vulnerability out loud. Ase O Much power, bliss and true support towards you beautiful being. -Venus Sublime
@@Anonymous-ze2mu that’s when u know actions speak louder than words he’s obviously not the right one for you, if you say I love you to someone u need to earn that and actually put f effort into it just saying I love you to someone doesn’t mean anything if their actions aren’t aligned, that’s not love & you deserve better babe I hope you know ur worth is much more and u deserve the love you give out to others :)
@@Anonymous-ze2mu when u love someone, you are always there for them, by their side, supporting, comforting and loving them in their best and their worst, being honest and open that’s real love
Omg, truly. When you do not want anyone's validation, when you are self assured and self reliant, you truly become free! That's why so many people feel threatened by it. They can no longer control you or manipulate you.
As humans, we naturally need validation. No matter what you do/say. The difference is having to learn, learn to be self resilient, and find our people.
i started my path toward selfishness when i noticed that you could do 9 things for people, but the one time you refuse to do the tenth thing, they act angry and forget the 9 things you've done for them. selfishness has done me VERY WELL! one person in my life even pointed out my selfishness, and my response was, "thank you so much for noticing!"
when you set boundaries people start to call you selfish. Been there, done that and I'm never going back. You know what? Yes, I better be because giving a piece of myself to everyone was leaving me empty and frustrated so I had to get my pieces back together and it was not easy. And if you don't like it, you don't have to, just like I don't owe you anything. thank you for being an inspiration liz! I wish everyone to heal and live a healthy and wealthy life.
Selfish can have another meaning. My sister used to have this habit of making everyone wait for her because she didnt want to wait for others, selfish by not respecting others' time. Also if she was upset with something at work or her boyfriend or whatever she would put her shit face so everyone could feel uncomfortable. Making everyone babysit her feelings. So she was called "selfish" not for babysitting others feelings but to impose her feeling on everyone under the sun
Insights: 1. NO to people pleasing trait 2. My priorities are higher than others' 3. Talking with myself is also therapy 4. Do not chase but attract (?) 5. Do not seek for validation 6. Do whatever you find right for yourself
A lot of people start hating you, cutting ties with you the moment you start prioritizing yourself. I really think it's all worth it because such people never had any pure intentions for you anyway. You do you! Always!
3:05 1. *Stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen.* Tell people when they cross your boundaries and if they try to twist things, end the conversation. They are not worth your time and energy. 4:20 2. *Start prioritising your own needs and wants.* Fill your cup first. Are you okay? Are you whole? Learn to say no and if you don't feel like doing something, that's enough reason. 5:27 3. *Stop being always available and trying to save everyone.* You cannot save everyone. You can't save anyone if they do not want to change. We do not have mental capacity and energy to always listen to others' problems.Maybe you are going through something too . You are not obliged to listen and answer if you yourself are hurt. 7:37 4. *Sometimes you helping is actually sabotaging God's plan.* Think like people get certain problems because God is trying to teach them something,to help them in some way. If you are being a saviour all the time, you are going against God's way. 8:18 5. *Start being okay with people misunderstanding you.* People do not have to understand you and it's reasonable that they do not. They are different people having different life situations and experiences. You are only gonna hurt yourself expecting them to understand. 9:33 6.*Realise that you can only change yourself.* Changing takes courage, strength and discomfort. Many people do not want that. You are just wasting your time and energy trying to change them, which you could utilise to create your dream life. You can only change your life and set an example which can inspire people to change. 11:22 7.*Stop needing people to validate your self worth.* When you try to get validation from people, you are becoming a slave to their opinion. Others' opinions should not bring you up or take you down because you know your worth and how amazing you are. 12:25 8. *Talk to yourself, take yourself on dates, hug yourself, compliment yourself* 13:51 9. *Less chasing, more attracting* Tune in with your feminine energy. Do what you feel is good for you and your body. Be open to receiving and let that desperation energy go. 15:15 10. *Only adding great people to my great life* Allow those people in your life which add value in your life. Do not be friends with people who are okay with being miserable and complain about being miserable. Be friends with people who have a growth mindset. 16:34 11. *Stop seeking people's permission to do what you want.* Edit:Mumma, I am famous! Thank you for 1k likes everyone. You are so sweet🥰🥰
@@somebody3049 ❤️😢believe me it's pretty helpful, I'm in a bind right now and need to learn to stop believing in wrong beliefs. It's pretty hard for me, but I trust in God. Thank you very much for your effort, dear. I wish everyone here that they get through life well. Amen
@@Unknown_flower25 I am so proud of you for having self awareness and trying to change some beliefs. That's a brave thing to do. Everything is going to be okay. You are such a kind and pure soul. May God shower his light and love in every path of your life.
-stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen -start prioritising your own needs and wants -stop being always available and trying to save everyone -sometimes your helping is actually sabotaging god's plan -start being okay with people misunderstanding you -realise that you can only change yourself, and you can change others giving them an example -stop needing people to validate yourself worth -Talking with myself is the best way to solve and change what i dont like about me or my personality -less chasing more attracting -being more selective and only adding great people to my great life -stop seeking people's validation or permission to do what you want
I feel immensely grateful for this channel. I'm 17 and I've been through all these bs you're talking about.Fortunetly I'm over these self destructive behaviors,no desire to ruin the rest of my life because of it.i love you Liz,you're like the older sister I never had.
Same here, I resonate with what you said a lot! Liz is incredible, she was meant to come into our lives for us. So proud of you for making this life changing choice, good luck!
A question I now ask myself is “Would they do this for me?” I know ppl express love differently. So it may not be the exact thing, but I guess it’s at least an energy equivalent. It’s kept me from overextending myself
something i should’ve asked myself yesterday. while i was crying over this guy for a very very stupid reason . he was suppose to buy me food & ended up buying it for someone else .. i believe he lied about getting something for me & never really liked me anyway & i cried & cried I should’ve asked myself would he cry over me? definitely not
When Liz said “They will not have the same mindset as you, they will not have the same heart as you, they are not you” I felt that, and I was literally thinking about why people are like this and now I have clear understanding from it. Thank you so much Liz 💗💗
When it was summer I was always alone and hanging out alone. Sharing a room and going back to school took a lot of my alone time away. I will have a room soon so hopefully that will help me and I think it will but not as much as my summer free time
@@PavanKumarHB lack of social skills and don't have any friend at all are not a privilege, spend too much time alone can be terrible for you mental health. We need to stop of turning virtues in vices.
@@octavioenriqueromerocorona1997 please learn English grammar before replying. You don't know about me, people like you judge others just in one glance or on one word and try to ruin other life. This is reason I stay away from toxic people like you. If you don't like my reply on this video then just pass by, no one is eagerly awaiting for your faulty knowledge. I hope this thing gets inside your brain. So from now on stop judging people and do continue to mind your own work.
I’m new to your channel. I must say… *I AM OBSESSED* You are like that big sister I never had and I have two. The advice you give is unmatched and raw and true and tough love. I’m always in a cycle of being on top of my self care and priorities then I fall back into a hole and it’s just a pattern. Before I had my son I always had that will power and consistency and now? I find it hard to stick with it. Your videos are helping me TREMENDOUSLY. So Liz, thank you girl. 🤍
My goodness, you just described the entire process I am going through right now. I am 35 years old, but 30 years of my life, I have spent pleasing people and running after them. Never standing up for myself, never listen to own my needs, never respecting myself. Last year my body and mind just couldn't deal with that anymore. My body was imploring me to stop. As your my mom, my mother was a people pleaser all the way, plus, she wanted to be everybody's darling all the time. For this specific reason she ignored me for so many years, let people scold at me, scream at me, and barely or rarely did something about it. Just to be in good terms with everybody, therefore costing me a lot of pain, shame and trauma. She herself rarely respected my needs or my complaints, beat the heck out of me with a belt for literally every little thing I did. Never gave me space to evolve as a little human being I was. Never really listened to what I had to say, and when I wanted to express my feelings she shut me down telling she's going to cut my wings off. Pretty much like who am I to try "to fly" like that while being so small. The result of all of that was me at the age of 19 loosing her to a terrible disease and begging for people's love and affection. The way she raised me made me the most me insecure and indecisive person. Making impossible for me to understand my value, to have confidence and some self respect. End of last year, my mind and body couldn't bare with that any longer. I was having a major mental and emotional breaking down, that lasted months. I was in so much pain. Today I am not really mad at all people that used me, stole money and things from me, that backstabbed me so many times, that lie to me and talked bad about me while I was helping them with everything I had. I am not mad at them for being such energy vampires and narcissists. I am actually sad and disappointed at me for not being able to stand up for myself when I needed to. For not saying the word NO when I couldn't do anything anymore, for breaking all my own boundaries and not for loving myself enough to protect me from evil people. That's why I am learning step by step to be selfish. I am no longer serving peolple needs over my needs. I am no longer peoples doormat. Today I have a voice, and I think about me FIRST and if you slap me and mess around with me, you are going to get the triple back, that's for sure. Thank you so much for this video Liz ❤
I feel you..i also have the same sadness when i look at my own story. but i think from those states we did our best. the proof is that we survived and i believe in that type of healing that really leaves only the wisdom of the past and nothing more. i wish for you this as well as for myself and others thst went through this
Do not be disappointed in your past self! You did the best you could with the tools you were given to survive. Be proud that you had the energy to keep it up so you could keep yourself from the harm you would have suffered by those toxic people if you would have not obeyed. Be proud that you still are ❤️ Be proud of having clarity now and investing your energy in turning your life into what you have always deserved!
I definitely can relate to this. I am 21 years old and I spend all my time in school trying to fit in and trying to make friends by pleasing them and not long ago I started to realize that being a little selfish I was going to see the true intentions of those so-called friends, now I have no friends, literally no one, but I'm totally fine with it and I feel better that way. I will start college very soon and I hope I can do things right this time. It is not bad to think more about your own feelings, just be kind to others but be kind to yourself too.
lmaooo i dont have any friends either. i used to have a ton but i realized how fake everyone is and blocked a few people. with friends like those who needs enemies. we're better off
Same girl! I'm 20 and I don't have any of my friends from high school anymore. The only one I still talk to has been my friend for years, and we can go months without talking to each other and still be fine. Other than that, I definitely tried to fit in and people please with many people in high school, and my exes. During the pandemic, my closest friend would always complain about her job to me, and we worked the same job!. I became the trauma dump for her to pile on. I'm now trying to find new friends, and it's taken some time to figure out who I want as a friend, setting my boundaries. Now I struggle with whether or not I'm giving too little because I'm tired of giving too much. I don't answer my texts right away anymore, and that's one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. I just wanted to say its OKAY if you're "in-between" friends, because all we are doing is learning and growing. The right people will come to you as long as you have boundaries.
wow you worded everything on point, I’m currently going through a reflection in life where I’m realizing that 90% of my friendships I am the “go to”, ppl pleaser, “dependable” friend, or vent buddy. And I’ve gotta to the point where I’m exhausted and question are these ppl even my real friends but it feels like they don’t even bother to ask about me. Thank you for this video Liz.
yes! my old friends were like this and i dropped them and its the best thing ive ever done but thats my situation, u do whats best for u but u should tell them if they go to u again that u dont want to hear it
doing my night skincare, slowly glowing and growing up, manifesting the best life for myself, while listening to her advices is the best thing ever, thank you so much lizz
This!!!! I’ve been laid off 6months and counting, but this week I had a breakdown and she told me to manifest one!!!! Which felt like a she shut the door in my face. I was livid. Made the conversation about her self and told her I may have depression and she left me on read for 4 days and still counting. The week BEFORE this happened she’d been showing up at my apartment unannounced crying 3x in the past week and she didn’t even have the decency to reciprocate. Revenge is a dish best served cold they say. She will coming again crying about something and when she does I’m going to tell her “ I took your advice to manifest, I think you should too” and not respond for as long as I like. I’m only giving back the same energy she gave me.
She doesn't give you confidence my love, you give that to yourself she just gives us advice on things she's been through so we can have a little push on our journey of being the highest version of ourselves
i JUST had this conversation with my siblings , ever since little i wanted to be everything but selfish, i hated that word, i put myself so low in the bar that i adopted the mentality that everyone comes first, and that i should never speak up. 2021 was a year of growth, i went into situations where people took advantage of how ''calm'' and ''understanding'' i was, it put me more low than i had put myself and it was like something switched in my mind, it was that hurt of beind disrespected, the feeling of not being important enough that motivated to become the most self-centered, selfish person i've been in my entire life and i DON'T regret it. totally agree with you Liz
This made me realize how much of a people pleaser I was. I always asked how their day was, but they never asked about my day. I was surrounded by people who always made themselves the victim, complained, and didn’t really care about me. Thank the lord I cut those toxic relationships.
I can say her energy isn't going to waste at all. I watched her videos before and I've changed and I'm feeling the ✨BEST✨ and now I'm back to watch her videos to get more motivation. She says she doesn't helps us, we help ourselves and yeah that maybe right but she for sure pushes us to help ourselves. Thank you Liz ❤️
I do not know if you do read comments but I wanted to tell you that you’re probably one of the youtubers who when I first saw in the thumbnail thought to myself that you were gonna end up being one of those people who just shout out repetitive and quotes that do not really actually give us good advice. You gave out very good advices and you were one of the youtubers who were not just relatable but that boost everyone needs and the reality check people need. If you’re reading this I hope you keep making more videos, and for the people who are reading this as well, I wish you go over any issues or problems you have, I pray for you all.
that's true. I have always looked down at people like Liz thinking stereotypes like "she's just a spoiled girl from a rich family who decided to become an influencer just because she fell for the illusion that she's wise and smarter than us" and "she may be rich but at least I've got blank blank blank" etc. I don't trust rich people giving me unachievable advices on anything BUT once I got older I understood that there is, in fact, something that I can learn from a "classy luxury" type girl. So here I am
What you said about taking Gods place trying to help others and blocking your own blessings.. 🤯 you have NO idea how much I NEEDED to hear that. It makes SO much sense. THANK YOU 💜
I'm still a teenager, but in these last years I became "selfish". For a while I felt extremely guilty and like the worst person, like I was a narcissist. Who doesn't care about anything or anyone. This year I had my first appointment with the psychologist and I told her about it in more detail. She made me realize how necessary it was to focus on myself and my self-esteem. I have learned a lot these last few months and I feel confident about my actions And the part about giving explanations YES!
girl i don’t know you but i am so proud of you! it’s taken me until this year (i’m 26) to realize that no one will be there for me like i am for them. keep being selfish and save your love and energy for people who appreciate it AND reciprocate it
This happens when you start treating people nice and expecting them to treat you back the same way. That's how nice people end up changing, they feel consumed and dumped.
When i do something good to anyone i don't expect good back... That's what my religion thought me. If u do good do it for ur lord and expect rewards from god not from imperfect creatures.
Everyday I’m getting 1% closer to the best version of myself because of Liz, My inner voice is starting to sound like her and I’m so thankful for that!! ❤️❤️❤️
I love this woman, I‘m becoming every day a little more of the highest version of myself ✨🙏🏽 Thanky you Liz, you make my life better! And I‘m so grateful that I found you on UA-cam, you give me so much POWER!!! Pls more Content 😍💪🏼
I am on the journey to be more selfish and put myself first. To care more about my own goals and make myself happy. I really enjoyed watching your videos. They have helped me so much. Thank you so much for making them!
You mentioned an important part here 6:10. why nobody reaches to me when good stuff happens ? Why do people only reach out to me when they have problems ? I realized that with my bff as well. With me she’s the sad girl unsatisfied with her life and always calls me to complain about her life but then I open social media and she’s partying every weekend, going out with her friends and I’m where exactly in all of this ?? If I’m not in your life for the good and the bad than I don’t want to be in it at all !! ⚠️⚠️⚠️ (Little update: she texted me saying where I’ve been cuz I distanced myself from her and stopped initiating convs and I told her that im busy with life and blah blah blah and she got pisssssed lolllll. Anyways im moving abroad in less than a week and she’s obvs not super happy about it but I am cuz this is the best opportunity to meet new people and create new experiences without her being in every one of it !!! )
Samee... exactly same happened with me... i slowly realised everything.... now I will break the chain enough is enough. She used to say we are bff and i used to ask her how are you is everything fine... Dont worry everything will be alright.. But she never asked me how I was. She used to ignore me just for some of her friends who were boys. ( but i was stupid i ignored all these things), she used to show she is very sad but when i open social media... Thats the opposite. If anything imp happens I used to tell her that news.. But she never told her any imp life success and events to me... Advice : Be alone.... If you don't have any bff don't worry... But never put yourself on pedestal.
This is literally all my friendships summed up. My friends always reach out to me for advices or help but never include me in their outings. I feel so hurt by this. I know the solution is to cut them off and i exactly did that after giving them multiple chances however i still not understand why does this happen to us in the first place? Like we are being so accommodating, helpful and such a good friend to you then why would you not want me in your parties??
@@prashcrush6624 because they’re taking us for granted. Not everyone has a good heart like us. It’s hard to accept but that’s the reality. So until we find good people where respect and love and affection is mutual we work on our self esteem and self love ❤️❤️
I wish I could find this video from 2 years ago. I learned a lot from the last 2 years but lost the most important 2 years of my life. Thank you Liz for the video. Who ever reading this comment start prioritize yourself otherwise you will lose so many valuable time of your life. being selfish is okay.
This the content for which I have paid my internet bills.....for Keep growing awesome and spreading genuinity, positivity with mental clarity..... Really thanks ❤❤❤❤❤
taking notes for myself 1). stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen. when people cross your boundaries and are not willing to work on their issues or apologies, stop engaging. cut them off. whatever you want goes first. 2). fill your own cup first. are you okay? are you whole? if not, don’t talk. make sure you’re okay first. 3). stop being available at all times. if your phone is always on, if you’re making people believe that you’re fine, it’s on you. establish your boundaries. you cannot save everyone, you can’t save someone who doesn’t wanna change. 4). start being okay with people misunderstanding you. you have to realise that people are different and they will not understand you!! they do not have the same mindset as you. they are not you, so they will not get it. that’s it. you have to accept that. 5). stop trying to change people. human loves comfort. so, it takes a lot of discomfort to change and most people don’t want that. people HAVE to want it and you can’t make them. 6). stop needing people to validate your self worth. see those qualities in yourself. know what your worth it, know what your qualities are. if you constantly need that validation from others, you’re a slave to their opinions. their opinions will change your reality, when YOU’RE the one who creates your reality. 7). talk to yourself. hug yourself. go on dates with yourself. let things flow and let yourself receive things. stop chasing and start attracting. 8). only add great people into your life. people need to add value into your life.
WOW, this is exactly my life. I am so selfish now. I'm 50 years old and I'm living my BEST life! You are learning this so young. I'm so proud of you and as a 50 year old, if you ever need anything from ME, I am here for YOU!
i really love how you pointed out that at the end of the day, it is our mistake. because most of the time, we somehow blame it on people- but it's only happening because we let them to. that it is indeed a reality we make for ourselves. and i've learned that the hard way. i used to always complain about at least getting the appreciation and acknowledgement of my efforts, but i realized that people don't owe me anything. and that's when i realized i do not owe them a shit as well. i love this video.
This is a very deep subject. It was extremely upsetting for me when someone ignored my problems. Even though I have overcome all my resentments, I wish I could go back and be more selfish, the way I am now. Thanks for making a good point, Liz! And you look GORGEOUS as always
This is exactly where I am at these days. Tired of people using me and dragging me into their toxic drama. By being selfish I have lost some "friends" but I gotta say my life is much more peaceful now
Being selfish set a boundaries from people who try to manipulate you and take advantage of you. By being selfish we can see who is your truly friend. Who will be there for us. Thank you Liz, this year really open my eyes about relationship with other, because now I don’t want spend time with people who made no effort to help or care about me.
i needed this. literally all of my friends just explained how im "selfish" etc when i am constantly there for them. its so true u can really never give enough to people, this video saved my life. im done putting energy into people who arent appreciative of my presence and dont enjoy my being there.
She was right!! When somebody needed my help I was always there for them but that same people when I need someone ,they were like "ok don't worry" "that's life" .Even If we care about their problems they dont care about us.
Liz has TRANSFORMED me from being a person who was almost always ready to apologize even if it wasn't my fault to this individual now who is a high value woman✨ My one and only guardian angel, i love her 🎀💗
i also talk to myself & it’s like i am literally parenting myself. i was scared to talk about this to anyone but now seeing u talk about this made me feel okay with it. now i can finally open up to my therapist about this. thank you liz, you are literally an angel
Same here This happened to me I always put other people needs before me One day I decided to put my self first and then everyone real faces uncover, they make me feel guilty for my self Finally I am peace with my self know and don't feel guilty for putting my self first This is one of the biggest goal I achieve this year Alhamdulilah for everything
I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life and I just turned 22 this year and I’m just starting to put myself first. I had to realize that not everyone deserves the good parts of me. I don’t need to be only the good parts to people.
Same age, same journey. The only thing is how hard it is to remember your own personality when you're pleasing people, because you tend to mirror them so that they're comfortable and happy. I'm re-learning things about myself after losing myself to others
@@ladyaridette9661 this!!!! I totally forgot who I was and it's very difficult to revive yourself but I am taking it day by day . Hopefully, I'll find my old self back again.
Girl never stop making such videos many girls out there need a person like u in their life's if not in person than through social media like you're videos are helping me a lot to learn detachement keeping my self first prioritising my goals
I'm the one making my OWN MONEY! Nothing but the TRUTH! Not seeking validation from outsiders and living life unapologetic! Thanks Liz for another amazing Video! God bless
Just found your videos and I love your vibe ✨ This is the TRUTH! Ladies, about 5 years ago I decided to start being SELFISH! I was a people pleaser who always followed the rules to make everyone else happy. I’ve been the star student, good daughter, big sister, compassionate vegan, tutor, dinner host, free therapist, hard worker, emergency contact, etc. I was so good at being “nice, hardworking, and good” it was killing me. I wanted an exciting, fulfilling life FOR ME and chose to start over from scratch. It was scary but so WORTH IT. Since then, I’ve traveled the world, started 2 businesses, have a great support system, currently dating amazing men for marriage, I am always upleveling. Now that I’m selfish, my life is JUICY like a ripe mango 🥭 💦 The best part of that I have better relationships. I now show up for others due to overflow and it’s GENUINE! ❤️🔥 Choose yourself, honey 🍯
BECOMING SELFISH IS THE BEST THING I EVER DID. 1. Stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen. 2. Start prioritising ur own needs and wants. 3.stop being available and trying to save everyone. 4.sometimes u helping is actually sabotaging god's plan. 5.start being ok with people misunderstanding you. 6. Realise dat u can change only urself. 7.stop needing people to validate ur self worth. 8. Talk to urself, take urself on dates, hug urself, compliment urself. 9. Less chasing, more attracting, be in ur feminine energy more. Relaxed, calm, allowing, receiving. 10. Only adding great people to my life. 11. Stop seeking people's permission to do what u want.
I always thought being selfish meant you couldn’t be humble. But you’re right you can be anything in this world. Not going to be a puppet to people. Being a people pleaser is truly dangerous.
setting boundaries isn’t selfishness. it’s applying standards and guidelines for yourself and others that you want and expect others to follow. it is healthy. it’s only selfish when you hurt others in the process by being thoughtless and callous.
I just randomly came across your channel few weeks ago and you are already changing my life. I love it, love myself more and I have to thank you for that. Thank you so much ❤❤
She is absolutely correct 💓In my past I wasn't just like that who is 24/7available for people to help and comforting ,suggestions whatever I can ..but now I like to stay reserve and alone..I made my boundary..so now I don't care anybody.im became selfish and trust me this is the best feelings...I happy and it brings me peace to my mind ..I don't chasing anyone anything 😌I ,me, myself that's it...
i can feel the energy you are giving. Whenever i finish watching your videos and i go outside my room i fell like i am a whole new person i feel the power that you gave me. Please if you are okay with it post more videos because you are really influencing us. LOVE YOU LIZ!!!!!!
I am literally crying like a child you don’t know how I feel right now, because I finally found someone who understand and finally speak about something stuck in me and I learn so much from you thank you thank you. I appreciate that. I’m so grateful that I found your channel and your video literally saved me I have been trying and trying but when I listen to you, I’m so grateful I have been suffering for years trying to understand what’s my problem and why am I’m like this but now I finally understand that and accept that I don’t need to change anyone. I have to focus on my own self and my own needs.
I used to be a people pleaser as well, I got bullied because of that in college and high school, I used to think that was a part of being kind but I understand now being selfish or putting yourself first is the best decision, Now I'm kind to people but I don't hurt myself to make someone else happy. Thank you for this video, the way you explained everything was amazing, I hope you get all the happiness and success that you deserve, take care ❤️
I absolutely love this. This is it. She cracked the code for herself and she has put the code infront of us to see. Her words are the golden truth. She is definitely inspiring me to work towards being the best version of myself. Thank you Liz for these videos. 🙌🤗
My mom is still the biggest people pleaser I know, she would do anything and everything to help everyone in our city if she could. But at the end of the day she always feels really stressed and low. I, growing up, also started doing the same thing. I wanted to be like my mom because I thought that putting everyone first was the only way to live. Until I started going to therapy. I realised that it wasn't okay. And since I've been trying to put myself first and fill my own cup before I help people out and it works well for me. As for my mom, I hope one day she can put herself first too.
I was literally like u in my school years...... Everyone used me since I was good in studies... Now I am left with 1 friend... I am her emotional support system..... But none of those people are there who wanted something from me..... I feel bad... But I am also happy that God shown me mirror whom I should invest my time on.......
just remember the reason why he isn't in your life anymore and try to forget his existence, i can understand i am struggling through that only and if told liz how he had treated me she would literally slap me for not leaving him way more earlier 😭😂its hard to leave for mental peace someone u love who is really toxic but self respect >>>>>love 🙂💫🤎
@@shrutsy honestly even i feel like i should have left before 😭😭 . But nvm it's never too late. I had to shut my feelings to save myself i cannot go after the same pain again and again .
My parents are like your mother. I really relate to my father when it comes to being a very good person and a bit naive, always helping others etc. I too became selfish, I was hurt a lot by many friends, I just didn't understand why are people so narcissistic. When I became more selfish, it hurt at the beginning, but I really don't care anymore. If people are evil and I approve it, I'm the part of the problem. I just don't care anymore, but I'm still in the process of healing.
Liz you might be an empath just like me! I realized that I’m always there for people and I genuinely from the bottom of my heart try to help people out but realized over the years that nobody really sees that, the effort and the concern and all that, no, they throw that behind their backs and move on with their lives. Now what I learned is : If I feel my attention and effort that I put into this friendship is not reciprocated I will simply stop. If they don’t send a msg to check up on me I won’t. If they don’t invite me for dinner or coffee I won’t either. Stop giving your energy away to the wrong people !
I'm 20 and I don't have any of my friends from high school anymore. The only one I still talk to has been my friend for years, and we can go months without talking to each other and still be fine. Other than that, I definitely tried to fit in and people please with many people in high school, and my exes. During the pandemic, my closest friend would always complain about her job to me, and we worked the same job!. I became the trauma dump for her to pile on. I'm now trying to find new friends, and it's taken some time to figure out who I want as a friend, setting my boundaries. Now I struggle with whether or not I'm giving too little because I'm tired of giving too much. I don't answer my texts right away anymore, and that's one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. I just wanted to say its OKAY if you're "in-between" friends, because all we are doing is learning and growing. The right people will come to you as long as you have boundaries.
This video got to my front page at the perfect time. I just got broken up with, and I needed this, booked my first psychologist's appointment, thank you for putting this out to the world, really needed this wake-up call. 1) other people are not you 2) not everyone has the same standards 3) only you will put yourself FIRST! No one else.
Me too learned the hard way. I was a people pleaser back in college. hard to be a people pleaser specially if you are not aware that you are a people pleaser. I only became aware during my 30s. Then during my lowest point nobody was there for me. Except for my brother and my faith in God helped me to push through.. need to help yourself first before helping others. Love you Wizard Liz.
I can relate. I was a people pleaser for so long. I ended up so depressed seeking therapy I had to leave the country to clear my mind. Everyone i ever helped and cried with for their problems, knew about how I got sick and had to seek therapy. When I came back. Not one person showed up at the airport or my house to see I was back not even my boyfriend who cried to me during his family problems. Nobody, not one soul. My dad picked me up and first thing he said was “you look so effing skinny “ I was shattered beyond it was so hard to come out of that deep depression.
I can relate. I am a calm and friendly person so friends and family often come to me when they need a listener, need someone to comfort them or need help, not considering whether I am available, but they may not do it the other way round. It makes me feel used and unappreciated. I am learning to set boundaries and prioritise my needs. What’s more important to than yourself?
Please never stop doing those videos. I’m seeing a therapist, but you are the person that pushes me to never forget the hardest lessons to remember. I am becoming a more powerful woman, thanks to you my Dear ❤️
It feels like my life story! The whole beginning of the video is exactly what I went through, especially with my closest friends who all claim to love me but I never get even a text to ask how I've been doing, after so many years, this year, a few months ago, I decided enough is enough, I've been thinking about this for the last couple of years, but this year really showed me that it was time to give myself all the love, care, time, attention, money even and so on, that I gave to other people but never got in return, deciding to be selfish is indeed to the best decisions I made for my mental health, and I'm sure that it will only do good to me in the long run. I get excited every time you post, what you talk about is relevant to me, and it feels as if I'm getting advice from the older sister and/or the ride or die best friend that I never had
Same here Now that college is over they’re not even calling me to say “hey what’s up, wanna go out?” Sometimes I feel like I’ve been ghosted from them. I literally helped them a lot but now they’re ignoring me. I feel like only two people are my real friends. One of them is always asking me and calling me and we do talk about random stuff, the other one has a strict mum who’s always keeping her at home but once she has the chance she comes to my house and we hang out, we talk about random stuff, have fun, watch movies
Like I have gone through many toxic friendships since my childhood.... I was always everyone's "BACKUP FRIEND" ...And today too people see me as option and never the priority And i realised today that I WAS CHASING PEOPLE SO MUCH ; and this is the reason why ppl took advantage of me nd used me for their own emotional needs nd never gave a damn about mine ! THANK YOU LIZZ❤ I UNDERSTOOD MY SELF WORTH AND I PROMISE I M NEVER GONNA CHASE PEOPLE AND BEG THEM TO STAY IN MY LIFE ....✨
I wanted to express my gratitude to each and everyone of you. Thankyou so much. Thankyou for supporting me, thankyou for joining me on this journey and thankyou for giving me a platform. But most of all thankyou for trying to be that version of yourself you know you are capable of being. You are all so powerful. I love you all so much and may you always be blessed. ♥️
Thank you so much, Liz! We really appreciate you and will support you all the way! 💗
we love you too queen😍🥺❤
French or arabic substiltes pls😭
i literally love u so much liz thank you❤❤❤❤
Thank you for being beautiful inside and out, and having the courage, tenacity and grace to remain consistent in showing up for yourself. As when you show up for you, you inspire others to continue to show up too. And we all know truly how difficult it is sometimes to show up. Thank you for being you throughout the process and for sharing your gift of vulnerability out loud. Ase O Much power, bliss and true support towards you beautiful being.
-Venus Sublime
When you're a people pleaser, being even a little selfish feels like doing something bad, feels like being a bad person
Thissss!
That's so true ,i can't sleep at night bc.of that just horrible.
Exactly.. Feels guilty
Exactly and for this reason I think that Liz changed my perception of life and helped me so much
🎯
That hit my soul when she said "start being okay with people misunderstanding you " and that's something i always dread.
💜
for real
same.. i get sooo anxious when im being misunderstood by others...
literally sameeee omg
fuck yeah me too all my life bro
“ how is it everybody claims that they love me and I don’t feel loved” this hit so hard, and that’s how I’m feeling lately.
Same omg. I hope you feel better and loved soon!!!! ❤️
My boyfriend says he loves me but is never there for me
@@Anonymous-ze2mu that’s when u know actions speak louder than words he’s obviously not the right one for you, if you say I love you to someone u need to earn that and actually put f effort into it just saying I love you to someone doesn’t mean anything if their actions aren’t aligned, that’s not love & you deserve better babe I hope you know ur worth is much more and u deserve the love you give out to others :)
@@Anonymous-ze2mu when u love someone, you are always there for them, by their side, supporting, comforting and loving them in their best and their worst, being honest and open that’s real love
I FELT THAT SO DEEPLY 🥺😭
"None of your business, goodbye" iconic ✨✨✨
“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”-Mohadesa Najumi
Needed to hear this. Thank you.
Omg, truly. When you do not want anyone's validation, when you are self assured and self reliant, you truly become free! That's why so many people feel threatened by it. They can no longer control you or manipulate you.
As humans, we naturally need validation. No matter what you do/say. The difference is having to learn, learn to be self resilient, and find our people.
Is better the term: Respected. Feared are the Terrorists, Dictators or Drug Traffickers
She does required lol
“How is it that everybody claims to love me? But I don’t feel loved.” I felt that.
Sameee
Same
So i
Because they love what you give to them and they don’t love you personally. That’s the sad truth
They love themselves actually..
its so important to have a balance between helping and being helped. its so draining to be the therapist for everyone.
yeesss, i totally agree
Fr
Yeah or else we are basically murdering ourselves
FR.
Fr
You are not selfish Liz for sharing these advices
@@margeryojije7862 also being kind and helping others is not wrong, and yes choosing your self first is important
100 likes 10 months ago it’s a sign
@@tiktoks4yall for what?
"How is it that everybody claims to love me, but I do not feel loved"
That hits hard, and it's totally true
super hard
Why is it that we feel this way, actually?
ı crıed when she saıd that
i started my path toward selfishness when i noticed that you could do 9 things for people, but the one time you refuse to do the tenth thing, they act angry and forget the 9 things you've done for them.
selfishness has done me VERY WELL! one person in my life even pointed out my selfishness, and my response was, "thank you so much for noticing!"
let them love maybe?
"Why am I overextending my whole body for everyone, and they're not even extending a hand to help me" literally brought tears to my eyes.
OMFG same 😭
@@peach-ci1be same here also.. It's suck
Same to me
Hit home hard.
This hit me hard
when you set boundaries people start to call you selfish. Been there, done that and I'm never going back. You know what? Yes, I better be because giving a piece of myself to everyone was leaving me empty and frustrated so I had to get my pieces back together and it was not easy. And if you don't like it, you don't have to, just like I don't owe you anything.
thank you for being an inspiration liz! I wish everyone to heal and live a healthy and wealthy life.
i been there.
Stay up
I totally agree with you.
All the best,❤️🌺.
If they say that, then let it be. They don't want you to set boundaries because they are also the selfish ones who want to just take from you!
Or in a relationship and they call you insecure 😂
she is a gem, I feel so much better after listening to her
Being called "selfish" makes me blush now.
"Yes I am, go ask someone else to babysit your feelings." :)
right! 😂😂❤
Queen
anyway, crazy left communists will come to power and make everyone anti-selfish.
So cringe
Selfish can have another meaning.
My sister used to have this habit of making everyone wait for her because she didnt want to wait for others, selfish by not respecting others' time.
Also if she was upset with something at work or her boyfriend or whatever she would put her shit face so everyone could feel uncomfortable. Making everyone babysit her feelings.
So she was called "selfish" not for babysitting others feelings but to impose her feeling on everyone under the sun
Insights:
1. NO to people pleasing trait
2. My priorities are higher than others'
3. Talking with myself is also therapy
4. Do not chase but attract (?)
5. Do not seek for validation
6. Do whatever you find right for yourself
thankyou so much for this
Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm .Something I have to remind myself of.
🙌
solid ass quote right there 👏👏👏
fax icl
A lot of people start hating you, cutting ties with you the moment you start prioritizing yourself. I really think it's all worth it because such people never had any pure intentions for you anyway. You do you! Always!
3:05 1. *Stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen.*
Tell people when they cross your boundaries and if they try to twist things, end the conversation.
They are not worth your time and energy.
4:20 2. *Start prioritising your own needs and wants.*
Fill your cup first. Are you okay? Are you whole?
Learn to say no and if you don't feel like doing something, that's enough reason.
5:27 3. *Stop being always available and trying to save everyone.*
You cannot save everyone. You can't save anyone if they do not want to change. We do not have mental capacity and energy to always listen to others' problems.Maybe you are going through something too . You are not obliged to listen and answer if you yourself are hurt.
7:37 4. *Sometimes you helping is actually sabotaging God's plan.*
Think like people get certain problems because God is trying to teach them something,to help them in some way. If you are being a saviour all the time, you are going against God's way.
8:18 5. *Start being okay with people misunderstanding you.*
People do not have to understand you and it's reasonable that they do not. They are different people having different life situations and experiences. You are only gonna hurt yourself expecting them to understand.
9:33 6.*Realise that you can only change yourself.*
Changing takes courage, strength and discomfort. Many people do not want that. You are just wasting your time and energy trying to change them, which you could utilise to create your dream life. You can only change your life and set an example which can inspire people to change.
11:22 7.*Stop needing people to validate your self worth.*
When you try to get validation from people, you are becoming a slave to their opinion. Others' opinions should not bring you up or take you down because you know your worth and how amazing you are.
12:25 8. *Talk to yourself, take yourself on dates, hug yourself, compliment yourself*
13:51 9. *Less chasing, more attracting*
Tune in with your feminine energy. Do what you feel is good for you and your body. Be open to receiving and let that desperation energy go.
15:15 10. *Only adding great people to my great life*
Allow those people in your life which add value in your life. Do not be friends with people who are okay with being miserable and complain about being miserable. Be friends with people who have a growth mindset.
16:34 11. *Stop seeking people's permission to do what you want.*
Edit:Mumma, I am famous! Thank you for 1k likes everyone. You are so sweet🥰🥰
😢😢❤️😢thank you !
@@Unknown_flower25 You're welcome!💌 I am taking notes for when I watch this video again. Glad that they are helpful for you too:)
@@somebody3049 ❤️😢believe me it's pretty helpful, I'm in a bind right now and need to learn to stop believing in wrong beliefs. It's pretty hard for me, but I trust in God. Thank you very much for your effort, dear. I wish everyone here that they get through life well. Amen
@@Unknown_flower25 I am so proud of you for having self awareness and trying to change some beliefs. That's a brave thing to do. Everything is going to be okay.
You are such a kind and pure soul. May God shower his light and love in every path of your life.
@koko nina That's so sweet of you to say, but do you know what? You are more amazing( ◜‿◝ )♡
-stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen
-start prioritising your own needs and wants
-stop being always available and trying to save everyone
-sometimes your helping is actually sabotaging god's plan
-start being okay with people misunderstanding you
-realise that you can only change yourself, and you can change others giving them an example
-stop needing people to validate yourself worth
-Talking with myself is the best way to solve and change what i dont like about me or my personality
-less chasing more attracting
-being more selective and only adding great people to my great life
-stop seeking people's validation or permission to do what you want
🙌
❤️🙏
I love u
thanks
I just love how clear she is with her thoughts and words.
when she said “I don't need anyone to tell me how beautiful i am” i felt it.
😊😊😊
Same energy as “stop begging for a seat, build your own table”
Build your own table, good for a book title
Period.
Actually this philosophy saved my life. Building tables is a way easier than begging.
It’s not being selfish, it’s about loving yourself and taking care of yourself.
she doesn't love herself. She completely altered her face
@@julia-ex7im you should Watch more of her videos before you say that
@@Nrkkxnoeø I watched several
@@julia-ex7im shes still taking care of herself, just because shes ‘altered’ her face doesn’t mean she doesn’t love herself.
@@remi5065 genuine question, how can she have “loved” her face if she changed it?
I was literally the most insecure creature on earth, until i found this woman, she literally saved me. May God bless u liz
I feel immensely grateful for this channel.
I'm 17 and I've been through all these bs you're talking about.Fortunetly I'm over these self destructive behaviors,no desire to ruin the rest of my life because of it.i love you Liz,you're like the older sister I never had.
Me to , اثق بك💓
Same here, I resonate with what you said a lot! Liz is incredible, she was meant to come into our lives for us. So proud of you for making this life changing choice, good luck!
A question I now ask myself is “Would they do this for me?” I know ppl express love differently. So it may not be the exact thing, but I guess it’s at least an energy equivalent. It’s kept me from overextending myself
I guess you can do things for people who don't, but balanced.
something i should’ve asked myself yesterday. while i was crying over this guy for a very very stupid reason . he was suppose to buy me food & ended up buying it for someone else .. i believe he lied about getting something for me & never really liked me anyway & i cried & cried I should’ve asked myself would he cry over me? definitely not
the other person was a girl & ofc i was jealous but it’s fine
When Liz said “They will not have the same mindset as you, they will not have the same heart as you, they are not you” I felt that, and I was literally thinking about why people are like this and now I have clear understanding from it. Thank you so much Liz 💗💗
I love your truth Liz!! Thank you for these reminders.
Cheers!
Being alone and spending my own time with myself is another flow of super power inside me☺
When it was summer I was always alone and hanging out alone. Sharing a room and going back to school took a lot of my alone time away. I will have a room soon so hopefully that will help me and I think it will but not as much as my summer free time
@@aldra8507 I hope your wish come true immediately. Being alone is privilege.
@@PavanKumarHB lack of social skills and don't have any friend at all are not a privilege, spend too much time alone can be terrible for you mental health. We need to stop of turning virtues in vices.
@@octavioenriqueromerocorona1997 please learn English grammar before replying. You don't know about me, people like you judge others just in one glance or on one word and try to ruin other life. This is reason I stay away from toxic people like you. If you don't like my reply on this video then just pass by, no one is eagerly awaiting for your faulty knowledge. I hope this thing gets inside your brain. So from now on stop judging people and do continue to mind your own work.
@@PavanKumarHB trust me it's detromental for yr mental health you should balance
I’m new to your channel. I must say…
*I AM OBSESSED*
You are like that big sister I never had and I have two. The advice you give is unmatched and raw and true and tough love.
I’m always in a cycle of being on top of my self care and priorities then I fall back into a hole and it’s just a pattern. Before I had my son I always had that will power and consistency and now? I find it hard to stick with it. Your videos are helping me TREMENDOUSLY. So Liz, thank you girl. 🤍
My goodness, you just described the entire process I am going through right now. I am 35 years old, but 30 years of my life, I have spent pleasing people and running after them. Never standing up for myself, never listen to own my needs, never respecting myself. Last year my body and mind just couldn't deal with that anymore. My body was imploring me to stop. As your my mom, my mother was a people pleaser all the way, plus, she wanted to be everybody's darling all the time. For this specific reason she ignored me for so many years, let people scold at me, scream at me, and barely or rarely did something about it. Just to be in good terms with everybody, therefore costing me a lot of pain, shame and trauma. She herself rarely respected my needs or my complaints, beat the heck out of me with a belt for literally every little thing I did. Never gave me space to evolve as a little human being I was. Never really listened to what I had to say, and when I wanted to express my feelings she shut me down telling she's going to cut my wings off. Pretty much like who am I to try "to fly" like that while being so small. The result of all of that was me at the age of 19 loosing her to a terrible disease and begging for people's love and affection. The way she raised me made me the most me insecure and indecisive person. Making impossible for me to understand my value, to have confidence and some self respect. End of last year, my mind and body couldn't bare with that any longer. I was having a major mental and emotional breaking down, that lasted months. I was in so much pain. Today I am not really mad at all people that used me, stole money and things from me, that backstabbed me so many times, that lie to me and talked bad about me while I was helping them with everything I had. I am not mad at them for being such energy vampires and narcissists. I am actually sad and disappointed at me for not being able to stand up for myself when I needed to. For not saying the word NO when I couldn't do anything anymore, for breaking all my own boundaries and not for loving myself enough to protect me from evil people.
That's why I am learning step by step to be selfish. I am no longer serving peolple needs over my needs. I am no longer peoples doormat.
Today I have a voice, and I think about me FIRST and if you slap me and mess around with me, you are going to get the triple back, that's for sure.
Thank you so much for this video Liz ❤
I feel you..i also have the same sadness when i look at my own story. but i think from those states we did our best. the proof is that we survived and i believe in that type of healing that really leaves only the wisdom of the past and nothing more. i wish for you this as well as for myself and others thst went through this
@@shirahsheartbeats Thank you darling, I wish you all the best through your journey.
You just inspired one person👍🏻 was able to relate so much to you.
Damn, love your power! So inspiring! Use it! You're stronger than you think you are :)
Do not be disappointed in your past self! You did the best you could with the tools you were given to survive. Be proud that you had the energy to keep it up so you could keep yourself from the harm you would have suffered by those toxic people if you would have not obeyed. Be proud that you still are ❤️ Be proud of having clarity now and investing your energy in turning your life into what you have always deserved!
“Ppl will love you and support you when it’s beneficial” !!!!
I definitely can relate to this. I am 21 years old and I spend all my time in school trying to fit in and trying to make friends by pleasing them and not long ago I started to realize that being a little selfish I was going to see the true intentions of those so-called friends, now I have no friends, literally no one, but I'm totally fine with it and I feel better that way. I will start college very soon and I hope I can do things right this time. It is not bad to think more about your own feelings, just be kind to others but be kind to yourself too.
lmaooo i dont have any friends either. i used to have a ton but i realized how fake everyone is and blocked a few people. with friends like those who needs enemies. we're better off
Turning 21 in 10 days and same here girlllllieee
same here…
Same girl! I'm 20 and I don't have any of my friends from high school anymore. The only one I still talk to has been my friend for years, and we can go months without talking to each other and still be fine. Other than that, I definitely tried to fit in and people please with many people in high school, and my exes. During the pandemic, my closest friend would always complain about her job to me, and we worked the same job!. I became the trauma dump for her to pile on. I'm now trying to find new friends, and it's taken some time to figure out who I want as a friend, setting my boundaries. Now I struggle with whether or not I'm giving too little because I'm tired of giving too much. I don't answer my texts right away anymore, and that's one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. I just wanted to say its OKAY if you're "in-between" friends, because all we are doing is learning and growing. The right people will come to you as long as you have boundaries.
Nearly 20 and I have nobody but my boyfriend. I cant come to terms with it I feel so lonely. How can I just accept it?
wow you worded everything on point, I’m currently going through a reflection in life where I’m realizing that 90% of my friendships I am the “go to”, ppl pleaser, “dependable” friend, or vent buddy. And I’ve gotta to the point where I’m exhausted and question are these ppl even my real friends but it feels like they don’t even bother to ask about me. Thank you for this video Liz.
Very true, I'm figuring that out also!
yes! my old friends were like this and i dropped them and its the best thing ive ever done but thats my situation, u do whats best for u but u should tell them if they go to u again that u dont want to hear it
doing my night skincare, slowly glowing and growing up, manifesting the best life for myself, while listening to her advices is the best thing ever, thank you so much lizz
And then when you start prioritizing yourself, give straightforward answers, people think you are rude, mannerless. 🙂
God I hate when this happens,people always say I'm the bad one,i was just protecting myself from further pain.
Let them tell it all they want. It's better to be rude and respected than nice and feeling used
This!!!! I’ve been laid off 6months and counting, but this week I had a breakdown and she told me to manifest one!!!! Which felt like a she shut the door in my face. I was livid. Made the conversation about her self and told her I may have depression and she left me on read for 4 days and still counting. The week BEFORE this happened she’d been showing up at my apartment unannounced crying 3x in the past week and she didn’t even have the decency to reciprocate. Revenge is a dish best served cold they say. She will coming again crying about something and when she does I’m going to tell her “ I took your advice to manifest, I think you should too” and not respond for as long as I like. I’m only giving back the same energy she gave me.
@@TipsfromririJust ignore them.believe yourself you're the best ❤
@@ismi216 thank you so much dear you too are the best ! ❤️
How can smo not loving her.....she just gives us the confidence we need♡
She doesn't give you confidence my love, you give that to yourself she just gives us advice on things she's been through so we can have a little push on our journey of being the highest version of ourselves
i JUST had this conversation with my siblings , ever since little i wanted to be everything but selfish, i hated that word, i put myself so low in the bar that i adopted the mentality that everyone comes first, and that i should never speak up. 2021 was a year of growth, i went into situations where people took advantage of how ''calm'' and ''understanding'' i was, it put me more low than i had put myself and it was like something switched in my mind, it was that hurt of beind disrespected, the feeling of not being important enough that motivated to become the most self-centered, selfish person i've been in my entire life and i DON'T regret it. totally agree with you Liz
I had the exact same situation as you, even the year :D
it's not being selfish, it's about loving yourself and take care of yourself. if you are selfish then you're ugly. sorry for my english
enough to say that selfishness is good, stupid people.
@@blurrysaika so true!!
This made me realize how much of a people pleaser I was. I always asked how their day was, but they never asked about my day. I was surrounded by people who always made themselves the victim, complained, and didn’t really care about me. Thank the lord I cut those toxic relationships.
I can say her energy isn't going to waste at all. I watched her videos before and I've changed and I'm feeling the ✨BEST✨ and now I'm back to watch her videos to get more motivation. She says she doesn't helps us, we help ourselves and yeah that maybe right but she for sure pushes us to help ourselves. Thank you Liz ❤️
I do not know if you do read comments but I wanted to tell you that you’re probably one of the youtubers who when I first saw in the thumbnail thought to myself that you were gonna end up being one of those people who just shout out repetitive and quotes that do not really actually give us good advice. You gave out very good advices and you were one of the youtubers who were not just relatable but that boost everyone needs and the reality check people need. If you’re reading this I hope you keep making more videos, and for the people who are reading this as well, I wish you go over any issues or problems you have, I pray for you all.
that's true. I have always looked down at people like Liz thinking stereotypes like "she's just a spoiled girl from a rich family who decided to become an influencer just because she fell for the illusion that she's wise and smarter than us" and "she may be rich but at least I've got blank blank blank" etc. I don't trust rich people giving me unachievable advices on anything BUT once I got older I understood that there is, in fact, something that I can learn from a "classy luxury" type girl. So here I am
"Their opinion can change your reality. When you are the one that always creates your own reality" Girl I am covered in chills...Painfully true.
Same. I had to stop for some minutes before i went back to the vídeo. This message will never leave me
What you said about taking Gods place trying to help others and blocking your own blessings.. 🤯 you have NO idea how much I NEEDED to hear that. It makes SO much sense. THANK YOU 💜
This woman has truly changed my life
I'm still a teenager, but in these last years I became "selfish". For a while I felt extremely guilty and like the worst person, like I was a narcissist. Who doesn't care about anything or anyone.
This year I had my first appointment with the psychologist and I told her about it in more detail. She made me realize how necessary it was to focus on myself and my self-esteem. I have learned a lot these last few months and I feel confident about my actions
And the part about giving explanations YES!
girl i don’t know you but i am so proud of you! it’s taken me until this year (i’m 26) to realize that no one will be there for me like i am for them. keep being selfish and save your love and energy for people who appreciate it AND reciprocate it
This happens when you start treating people nice and expecting them to treat you back the same way. That's how nice people end up changing, they feel consumed and dumped.
When i do something good to anyone i don't expect good back... That's what my religion thought me. If u do good do it for ur lord and expect rewards from god not from imperfect creatures.
@@افراحابراهيم-ن4ن
well said
@Vicar Amelia 💯% true..
@Vicar Amelia
yes yes!
@@افراحابراهيم-ن4ن صدقت يا ابراهيم 3>
I used to think I was confident but this woman right here showed me, that confidence is a journey, not a destination
Yeah
I felt every word she said! Literally MY SOUL FELT EVERYTHING SHE SAID.
Everyday I’m getting 1% closer to the best version of myself because of Liz, My inner voice is starting to sound like her and I’m so thankful for that!! ❤️❤️❤️
I love this woman, I‘m becoming every day a little more of the highest version of myself ✨🙏🏽 Thanky you Liz, you make my life better! And I‘m so grateful that I found you on UA-cam, you give me so much POWER!!! Pls more Content 😍💪🏼
Every day i wake up...i always turn on the Bluetooth speaker then watching ur videos... I feel like a child who always listen you mom..
I am on the journey to be more selfish and put myself first. To care more about my own goals and make myself happy. I really enjoyed watching your videos. They have helped me so much. Thank you so much for making them!
You mentioned an important part here 6:10. why nobody reaches to me when good stuff happens ? Why do people only reach out to me when they have problems ? I realized that with my bff as well. With me she’s the sad girl unsatisfied with her life and always calls me to complain about her life but then I open social media and she’s partying every weekend, going out with her friends and I’m where exactly in all of this ?? If I’m not in your life for the good and the bad than I don’t want to be in it at all !!
⚠️⚠️⚠️
(Little update: she texted me saying where I’ve been cuz I distanced myself from her and stopped initiating convs and I told her that im busy with life and blah blah blah and she got pisssssed lolllll. Anyways im moving abroad in less than a week and she’s obvs not super happy about it but I am cuz this is the best opportunity to meet new people and create new experiences without her being in every one of it !!! )
That happens to me with my friend...always complaining but she does better than me and is always with other ppl having meals and parties....
Samee... exactly same happened with me... i slowly realised everything.... now I will break the chain enough is enough. She used to say we are bff and i used to ask her how are you is everything fine... Dont worry everything will be alright.. But she never asked me how I was. She used to ignore me just for some of her friends who were boys. ( but i was stupid i ignored all these things), she used to show she is very sad but when i open social media... Thats the opposite. If anything imp happens I used to tell her that news.. But she never told her any imp life success and events to me...
Advice : Be alone.... If you don't have any bff don't worry... But never put yourself on pedestal.
She's your bff but are you hers? Sometimes you have to take a step back and ask yourself if this is really the type of friend you want
This is literally all my friendships summed up. My friends always reach out to me for advices or help but never include me in their outings. I feel so hurt by this. I know the solution is to cut them off and i exactly did that after giving them multiple chances however i still not understand why does this happen to us in the first place? Like we are being so accommodating, helpful and such a good friend to you then why would you not want me in your parties??
@@prashcrush6624 because they’re taking us for granted. Not everyone has a good heart like us. It’s hard to accept but that’s the reality. So until we find good people where respect and love and affection is mutual we work on our self esteem and self love ❤️❤️
I wish I could find this video from 2 years ago. I learned a lot from the last 2 years but lost the most important 2 years of my life.
Thank you Liz for the video.
Who ever reading this comment start prioritize yourself otherwise you will lose so many valuable time of your life. being selfish is okay.
Same bro same
Being selfish is amazing.
honestly she has the best mind set ever and i LOVE her advice it’s really changing me to the best i can be
This the content for which I have paid my internet bills.....for
Keep growing awesome and spreading genuinity, positivity with mental clarity.....
Really thanks ❤❤❤❤❤
taking notes for myself
1). stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen. when people cross your boundaries and are not willing to work on their issues or apologies, stop engaging. cut them off. whatever you want goes first.
2). fill your own cup first. are you okay? are you whole? if not, don’t talk. make sure you’re okay first.
3). stop being available at all times. if your phone is always on, if you’re making people believe that you’re fine, it’s on you. establish your boundaries. you cannot save everyone, you can’t save someone who doesn’t wanna change.
4). start being okay with people misunderstanding you. you have to realise that people are different and they will not understand you!! they do not have the same mindset as you. they are not you, so they will not get it. that’s it. you have to accept that.
5). stop trying to change people. human loves comfort. so, it takes a lot of discomfort to change and most people don’t want that. people HAVE to want it and you can’t make them.
6). stop needing people to validate your self worth. see those qualities in yourself. know what your worth it, know what your qualities are. if you constantly need that validation from others, you’re a slave to their opinions. their opinions will change your reality, when YOU’RE the one who creates your reality.
7). talk to yourself. hug yourself. go on dates with yourself. let things flow and let yourself receive things. stop chasing and start attracting.
8). only add great people into your life. people need to add value into your life.
WOW, this is exactly my life. I am so selfish now. I'm 50 years old and I'm living my BEST life! You are learning this so young. I'm so proud of you and as a 50 year old, if you ever need anything from ME, I am here for YOU!
❤❤❤
THAT'S SO SWEETTTT OMG🥺
@@username-hd4ls Wishing you a magical day darling.
Woow how can l get in touch with you
@fastlearner2568 What do you need Darling. Your fairy Goddess mother is here for you.
i really love how you pointed out that at the end of the day, it is our mistake. because most of the time, we somehow blame it on people- but it's only happening because we let them to. that it is indeed a reality we make for ourselves. and i've learned that the hard way. i used to always complain about at least getting the appreciation and acknowledgement of my efforts, but i realized that people don't owe me anything. and that's when i realized i do not owe them a shit as well. i love this video.
period queen
Not our fault if we as children were taught how to be that way. It’s our responsibility to realize it now though, yes.
@@ryrose3431 i totally agree!
Funny how society has manipulated us into thinking that truly loving yourself, which is what she is describing is "selfish". Love you Queen❤❤❤
This is a very deep subject. It was extremely upsetting for me when someone ignored my problems. Even though I have overcome all my resentments, I wish I could go back and be more selfish, the way I am now. Thanks for making a good point, Liz!
And you look GORGEOUS as always
This is exactly where I am at these days. Tired of people using me and dragging me into their toxic drama. By being selfish I have lost some "friends" but I gotta say my life is much more peaceful now
Being selfish set a boundaries from people who try to manipulate you and take advantage of you. By being selfish we can see who is your truly friend. Who will be there for us. Thank you Liz, this year really open my eyes about relationship with other, because now I don’t want spend time with people who made no effort to help or care about me.
Thank you Liz, you have changed a lot of things in my life. Now I will work on finding myself with all strength, love and selfishness. ✨💗
This was so me, and now I can't even look at the people pleaser that I was. It's time to be selfish! Thank you Liz. I needed to hear this!
i needed this. literally all of my friends just explained how im "selfish" etc when i am constantly there for them. its so true u can really never give enough to people, this video saved my life. im done putting energy into people who arent appreciative of my presence and dont enjoy my being there.
She was right!! When somebody needed my help I was always there for them but that same people when I need someone ,they were like "ok don't worry" "that's life" .Even If we care about their problems they dont care about us.
Liz has TRANSFORMED me from being a person who was almost always ready to apologize even if it wasn't my fault to this individual now who is a high value woman✨
My one and only guardian angel, i love her 🎀💗
i also talk to myself & it’s like i am literally parenting myself. i was scared to talk about this to anyone but now seeing u talk about this made me feel okay with it. now i can finally open up to my therapist about this. thank you liz, you are literally an angel
Same here
This happened to me
I always put other people needs before me
One day I decided to put my self first and then everyone real faces uncover, they make me feel guilty for my self
Finally I am peace with my self know and don't feel guilty for putting my self first
This is one of the biggest goal I achieve this year
Alhamdulilah for everything
I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life and I just turned 22 this year and I’m just starting to put myself first. I had to realize that not everyone deserves the good parts of me. I don’t need to be only the good parts to people.
I turned 22 this year and honestly I am going through the same thing.
Same age n yes had the same realization!!❤
Same age, same journey. The only thing is how hard it is to remember your own personality when you're pleasing people, because you tend to mirror them so that they're comfortable and happy. I'm re-learning things about myself after losing myself to others
@@ladyaridette9661 this!!!! I totally forgot who I was and it's very difficult to revive yourself but I am taking it day by day . Hopefully, I'll find my old self back again.
@@minikaur4993 I say the same thing to myself. I’m still trying to find my old self but also trying to find the higher version of myself as well.
Girl never stop making such videos many girls out there need a person like u in their life's if not in person than through social media like you're videos are helping me a lot to learn detachement keeping my self first prioritising my goals
I'm the one making my OWN MONEY! Nothing but the TRUTH! Not seeking validation from outsiders and living life unapologetic! Thanks Liz for another amazing Video! God bless
Just found your videos and I love your vibe ✨
This is the TRUTH! Ladies, about 5 years ago I decided to start being SELFISH! I was a people pleaser who always followed the rules to make everyone else happy.
I’ve been the star student, good daughter, big sister, compassionate vegan, tutor, dinner host, free therapist, hard worker, emergency contact, etc. I was so good at being “nice, hardworking, and good” it was killing me.
I wanted an exciting, fulfilling life FOR ME and chose to start over from scratch. It was scary but so WORTH IT.
Since then, I’ve traveled the world, started 2 businesses, have a great support system, currently dating amazing men for marriage, I am always upleveling. Now that I’m selfish, my life is JUICY like a ripe mango 🥭 💦
The best part of that I have better relationships. I now show up for others due to overflow and it’s GENUINE! ❤️🔥 Choose yourself, honey 🍯
BECOMING SELFISH IS THE BEST THING I EVER DID.
1. Stop arguing with people who are not willing to listen.
2. Start prioritising ur own needs and wants.
3.stop being available and trying to save everyone.
4.sometimes u helping is actually sabotaging god's plan.
5.start being ok with people misunderstanding you.
6. Realise dat u can change only urself.
7.stop needing people to validate ur self worth.
8. Talk to urself, take urself on dates, hug urself, compliment urself.
9. Less chasing, more attracting, be in ur feminine energy more. Relaxed, calm, allowing, receiving.
10. Only adding great people to my life.
11. Stop seeking people's permission to do what u want.
I always thought being selfish meant you couldn’t be humble. But you’re right you can be anything in this world. Not going to be a puppet to people. Being a people pleaser is truly dangerous.
You're officially my therapist! You're just amazing, girl!
setting boundaries isn’t selfishness. it’s applying standards and guidelines for yourself and others that you want and expect others to follow. it is healthy. it’s only selfish when you hurt others in the process by being thoughtless and callous.
God, i love this woman. thank you for all that you do, youre incredible. may Allah (SWT) take care of and guide you always
I just randomly came across your channel few weeks ago and you are already changing my life. I love it, love myself more and I have to thank you for that. Thank you so much ❤❤
She is absolutely correct 💓In my past I wasn't just like that who is 24/7available for people to help and comforting ,suggestions whatever I can ..but now I like to stay reserve and alone..I made my boundary..so now I don't care anybody.im became selfish and trust me this is the best feelings...I happy and it brings me peace to my mind
..I don't chasing anyone anything 😌I ,me, myself that's it...
i can feel the energy you are giving. Whenever i finish watching your videos and i go outside my room i fell like i am a whole new person i feel the power that you gave me. Please if you are okay with it post more videos because you are really influencing us. LOVE YOU LIZ!!!!!!
Special love and appreciation to you for your likes and comments, you have been selected in my draw winners. Dm me to claim your prize😊❤️
I am literally crying like a child you don’t know how I feel right now, because I finally found someone who understand and finally speak about something stuck in me and I learn so much from you thank you thank you. I appreciate that. I’m so grateful that I found your channel and your video literally saved me I have been trying and trying but when I listen to you, I’m so grateful I have been suffering for years trying to understand what’s my problem and why am I’m like this but now I finally understand that and accept that I don’t need to change anyone. I have to focus on my own self and my own needs.
Same here I m literally crying right now
.. and I feel like hugging her for saving me ❤️
@@nishapaudel958 omg YES 😭😭😭
I have only one thing to say. You have changed my mindset. ❤
I used to be a people pleaser as well, I got bullied because of that in college and high school, I used to think that was a part of being kind but I understand now being selfish or putting yourself first is the best decision, Now I'm kind to people but I don't hurt myself to make someone else happy.
Thank you for this video, the way you explained everything was amazing, I hope you get all the happiness and success that you deserve, take care ❤️
oh my god it's not being selfish stop it.........
I absolutely love this. This is it. She cracked the code for herself and she has put the code infront of us to see. Her words are the golden truth. She is definitely inspiring me to work towards being the best version of myself. Thank you Liz for these videos. 🙌🤗
My mom is still the biggest people pleaser I know, she would do anything and everything to help everyone in our city if she could. But at the end of the day she always feels really stressed and low. I, growing up, also started doing the same thing. I wanted to be like my mom because I thought that putting everyone first was the only way to live. Until I started going to therapy. I realised that it wasn't okay. And since I've been trying to put myself first and fill my own cup before I help people out and it works well for me. As for my mom, I hope one day she can put herself first too.
Same!
me too❤❤❤
I was literally like u in my school years......
Everyone used me since I was good in studies... Now I am left with 1 friend... I am her emotional support system.....
But none of those people are there who wanted something from me.....
I feel bad... But I am also happy that God shown me mirror whom I should invest my time on.......
Everytime I feel to text my ex i watch her videos 😭
just remember the reason why he isn't in your life anymore and try to forget his existence, i can understand i am struggling through that only and if told liz how he had treated me she would literally slap me for not leaving him way more earlier 😭😂its hard to leave for mental peace someone u love who is really toxic but self respect >>>>>love 🙂💫🤎
@@shrutsy honestly even i feel like i should have left before 😭😭 . But nvm it's never too late. I had to shut my feelings to save myself i cannot go after the same pain again and again .
@@Debolinah u are strong gurl u can do it💪 💫💜we will overcome every pain which is meant to destroy us ✨
@@shrutsy same goes to u my girl . We won't let any one take advantage of our love for them we deserve better
.....for real though
My parents are like your mother. I really relate to my father when it comes to being a very good person and a bit naive, always helping others etc. I too became selfish, I was hurt a lot by many friends, I just didn't understand why are people so narcissistic. When I became more selfish, it hurt at the beginning, but I really don't care anymore. If people are evil and I approve it, I'm the part of the problem. I just don't care anymore, but I'm still in the process of healing.
Been two weeks since I've become this
I relate to you
Liz you might be an empath just like me! I realized that I’m always there for people and I genuinely from the bottom of my heart try to help people out but realized over the years that nobody really sees that, the effort and the concern and all that, no, they throw that behind their backs and move on with their lives. Now what I learned is : If I feel my attention and effort that I put into this friendship is not reciprocated I will simply stop. If they don’t send a msg to check up on me I won’t. If they don’t invite me for dinner or coffee I won’t either. Stop giving your energy away to the wrong people !
people pleaser is exactly word for me and thank you so much for your sharing. i look forward to listening your video
I'm 20 and I don't have any of my friends from high school anymore. The only one I still talk to has been my friend for years, and we can go months without talking to each other and still be fine. Other than that, I definitely tried to fit in and people please with many people in high school, and my exes. During the pandemic, my closest friend would always complain about her job to me, and we worked the same job!. I became the trauma dump for her to pile on. I'm now trying to find new friends, and it's taken some time to figure out who I want as a friend, setting my boundaries. Now I struggle with whether or not I'm giving too little because I'm tired of giving too much. I don't answer my texts right away anymore, and that's one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. I just wanted to say its OKAY if you're "in-between" friends, because all we are doing is learning and growing. The right people will come to you as long as you have boundaries.
This video got to my front page at the perfect time. I just got broken up with, and I needed this, booked my first psychologist's appointment, thank you for putting this out to the world, really needed this wake-up call. 1) other people are not you 2) not everyone has the same standards 3) only you will put yourself FIRST! No one else.
Me too learned the hard way. I was a people pleaser back in college. hard to be a people pleaser specially if you are not aware that you are a people pleaser. I only became aware during my 30s. Then during my lowest point nobody was there for me. Except for my brother and my faith in God helped me to push through.. need to help yourself first before helping others. Love you Wizard Liz.
I can relate. I was a people pleaser for so long. I ended up so depressed seeking therapy I had to leave the country to clear my mind. Everyone i ever helped and cried with for their problems, knew about how I got sick and had to seek therapy. When I came back. Not one person showed up at the airport or my house to see I was back not even my boyfriend who cried to me during his family problems. Nobody, not one soul. My dad picked me up and first thing he said was “you look so effing skinny “
I was shattered beyond it was so hard to come out of that deep depression.
@@LA-lq1zf definitely hard to experience depression or low point, I'm glad you got out of it. Take care and good day to you.
It feels like an angel is motivating us from heaven.
I can relate. I am a calm and friendly person so friends and family often come to me when they need a listener, need someone to comfort them or need help, not considering whether I am available, but they may not do it the other way round. It makes me feel used and unappreciated. I am learning to set boundaries and prioritise my needs. What’s more important to than yourself?
Special love and appreciation to you for your likes and comments, you have been selected in my draw winners. Dm me to claim your prize😊❤️
Please never stop doing those videos. I’m seeing a therapist, but you are the person that pushes me to never forget the hardest lessons to remember. I am becoming a more powerful woman, thanks to you my Dear ❤️
It feels like my life story! The whole beginning of the video is exactly what I went through, especially with my closest friends who all claim to love me but I never get even a text to ask how I've been doing, after so many years, this year, a few months ago, I decided enough is enough, I've been thinking about this for the last couple of years, but this year really showed me that it was time to give myself all the love, care, time, attention, money even and so on, that I gave to other people but never got in return, deciding to be selfish is indeed to the best decisions I made for my mental health, and I'm sure that it will only do good to me in the long run. I get excited every time you post, what you talk about is relevant to me, and it feels as if I'm getting advice from the older sister and/or the ride or die best friend that I never had
Same here
Now that college is over they’re not even calling me to say “hey what’s up, wanna go out?” Sometimes I feel like I’ve been ghosted from them. I literally helped them a lot but now they’re ignoring me. I feel like only two people are my real friends.
One of them is always asking me and calling me and we do talk about random stuff, the other one has a strict mum who’s always keeping her at home but once she has the chance she comes to my house and we hang out, we talk about random stuff, have fun, watch movies
Like I have gone through many toxic friendships since my childhood....
I was always everyone's "BACKUP FRIEND" ...And today too people see me as option and never the priority
And i realised today that I WAS CHASING PEOPLE SO MUCH ; and this is the reason why ppl took advantage of me nd used me for their own emotional needs nd never gave a damn about mine !
THANK YOU LIZZ❤
I UNDERSTOOD MY SELF WORTH
AND I PROMISE I M NEVER GONNA CHASE PEOPLE AND BEG THEM TO STAY IN MY LIFE ....✨