When you said minite men I didn't realize it was 'the instant men' and as a history student read it as the military position in the American revolution and was so confused
The sundress story makes me so sad for her… she sounded so happy for him to get her a sun dress because he “likes them” just for him to tell her she’s not ready to wear one but he’s excited to see other girls in sun dresses.
Right! Like my partner made the same comment and i got some sun dresses and he's so excited! Like she thought that be a fun way to spice things up or just look cute/attractive to her sad excuse for a husband. And news flash saying she isn't sundress ready is calling her fat. I hate when guys use the excuse"well i didn't outwardly tell her she's fat so it's ok"
@@knitwitchpgh what I can't get over with so many men who get annoyed when their girlfriend or wife gets fat, is the lack of self awareness - so many men over a certain age, or even young men, aren't exactly trim or in shape, a lot even overweight, and do we as women say anything? No. Because we love them as people and most of the time it has no effect on our attraction to them. Yet women are expected to keep themselves "nice" for their partners while men barely bother to shower. I'm saying this as someone with an overweight partner who isn't like that for the most part, though he has made a couple comments about not being attracted to bigger women, however he also has the self awareness most men lack and is trying to follow his own logic to get more in shape since this weight gain is more recent for him and not usual. I'm gaining weight and if he ever made a comment about me not being "sundress ready" I'd just leave - I've always been respectful about his weight and the weight of any man I've been with, I expect the same in return.
I had a similar incident too when I was 13. My mum and I used to take very long walks during summer break and we have very big mansions in our area. A car came towards us and I looked at the driver and thought huh...he is handsome. The minute, I looked over to the passenger's seat, his wife, who was definitely older than him, looked at me with this jealous look. After that, I told my mum: "Oh wow, you have to be very insecure to be jealous of a 13-year-old." Some women are really the worst😅🤣
Same! I’ve had grown men hit on me in front of their wives & the wives gets mad at me. A lot would be done when I worked in retail. But I had to be nice.
Right!?! Like hunni it's hot... why are you sexualizing a child wearing shorts and a tank top... like clearly you and your husband are the problem for getting all hot and bothered about it.
Reverse pick me story: I was driving, and had a guy with me I was super into. I asked him to put on music and he put jazz. I love jazz, and said that too, even asked if he knew few songs I like. He grew quiet and then said "You know, it's quite annoying and not cute when you try to match my interests". Damn dude, lemme just like jazz... Then he tried to make me "prove I know jazz" (gatekeeping).
That sucks! That's a reason I have trouble opening up about my interests. I kind of like a little of everything but don't have many full on obsessions. So I can never "prove" I like something enough for other people 😅 whether you are familiar with 5 jazz artists or 100, you still like jazz!
So...if he ever dates someone, he doesn't want his significant other to have common interests and hobbies with him? He doesn't want to do things together? I don't get this mindset. So you were supposed to HATE jazz?? Like...having simillar interests means you can talk about things. I don't get the way he thinks
For the girl commenting on how her sister dresses: as the wife of a "quiet" guy I can assure you we know our husbands, if we're saying something's up, we're not asking for your opinion on it.
Yes was looking for this comment! the older sister didn't seem to understand that a guy may not act the same between a female friend and his dang wife! Sounds like he's quiet around the older sister and is prob more open to the younger sister aka the wife which is how it should be lol your wife should be your best friend
YES! As the girlfriend of a quiet guy (going on 5 years now), I can tell the difference between his regular quiet and “weird” quiet. I know when to get him out of a situation, when to talk to him about a situation, and when it’s ok to encourage him to try something knew just based on the kind of quiet I’m experiencing from him. Even over text at this point.
Didn't know where to write but I find this couple so lovely,reminded me of kdrama manga jdrama itazura kiss All this quiet husband and outgoing wife Ooooh, it made my day
The guy who said that he rates his friend’s girlfriend a 3 or 4 is so mean. The girl is probably gorgeous and a 10 in her man’s eyes. Beauty is soooo subjective and just because he thinks she’s ugly, that doesn’t mean she is AT ALL. Also, a fantastic personality makes someone so so soooo much more attractive. I’m glad that his friend stood up for the woman he loves and got out of that toxic group. The OP is an awful person.
I know... Right... Like I feel there is a good chance the girl is actually equal to the guy she's dating like 8 or 9 and the OP is just a jealous birch
If he thinks she’s a 3 what’s the problem? You just said it was relative to the individual. Get over it. And also there are clear 10s. It’s not subjective. There are clear 1s. Not subjective.
@@joeydiaz5927 If your friend is in love with a girl, it is so hurtful to tell him you think she’s unattractive. No one wants to hear that about someone they love. So that automatically makes the friend inconsiderate and rude. Also, I do agree that there are some people that are extremely gorgeous and others who are typically perceived as ugly. However, most people fall in the middle and are just normal. And a lot of men have preferences that can make a woman higher or lower on their scale. For example, I have no curves whatsoever and I have a more athletic build because I ran in high school and a lot of guys would not find my body attractive. Luckily for me, I am my boyfriends type. I’m also blonde which is his type. If I was a curvy brunette, he would rate me a lot lower than a skinny blonde but on another guys scale I might be rated lower. So that’s mainly what I was trying to say. Everyone’s scale is different and although some people are objectively attractive or ugly due to cultural standards, the people in the middle are a lot more subjective.
@@Mel-zv1gf I agree. The vast majority of people are average. Humans are a bell curve. But a man’s relationship with his friends is much different than girls. Men don’t mind hurting feelings if it’s necessary or is needed to prove a point. We are not women who generally tip toe around feelings. Guys are not like that. And if your boy is telling you your girl isn’t good looking he is telling you not as a bully but as a friend who thinks you can do better. I’ve told my friend they can do better haven’t you ?
@@joeydiaz5927 objectively speaking you are talking about doing better with looks? How does that encompass personality or how she treats him? I can understand saying he can do better if she treated him like shit and had a shit personality “like OP” but it sounds like he’s just taking her at face value. Not to mention they’re talking shit about someone who isn’t there to defend themselves . I’d like to see them say that shit to her face and not stutter. People are all kinds of confident behind closed doors but how much you wanna bet that if she were standing in front of them they’d all be wearing shit eating grins and being the kind of sweet that gives cavities. It’s bullshit. Looks may get you in the door but her personality is what made him stay with her for so long. And I’m sorry but being a shit talker behind closed doors doesn’t make you a man. It makes you a p**sy. And he should be ashamed at judging someone he barely knows. Never once did he say that the gf treats him like shit. Or is a horrible person. Not once did he ever say she was horrible to him. Saying she’s “ugly” without ever actually getting to know her is disgusting. And before you say there are people who are clearly ugly and clearly attractive there is someone out there that will find the person you deem “ugly” attractive. My sister and I have sat down and I have said I find a guy attractive and she says she doesn’t find him attractive at all. Not only is judging someone by appearances instead of character ugly in itself. It’s deplorable, and that person should take a long look in the mirror and think about the person they want to be. Before judging anyone. It sounds like he’s jealous of his friends healthy and happy relationship to me. That’s all I had to say.
For that story about the jealous sister. You just *know* Lance hates OP, and probably was always annoyed with her. Not only is OP jealous of her sister Ann (I think?), but she also can't see a single admirable quality in her? "All Ann talks about is her looks." Is that really true? Or does she just not see her Ann as a person. Not to mention maybe the reason Lance is always quiet around her is because he's not comfortable with her, and never was.
Exactly! Maybe OP has subconsciously started showing signs of her distaste towards her sister's and Lance's relationship and her jealousy over it, making him uncomfortable and wanting to distance himself from her. And it might be that OP and Lance weren't ever really that close but she had a crush on him and now is just seething over the fact that Lance didn't "choose" her.
@@TheFairylilith OMG YOURE SO RIGHT! I don’t think they were ever close, and I’ve totally liked guys and seen this connection that just wasn’t there. But for years? Into him being married? Really?
My mom announced my pregnancy at my grandmas funeral (her mom). everyone cheered and was so happy. Mexican funerals aren’t super sad. We throw parties to celebrate the life that person lived. there’s usually music, alcohol, and dancing. i think the funeral story was a cultural difference like Morgan pointed out.
Where are you from? I’m Mexican too (have lived in Monterrey and Guadalajara) and I have never heard of funerals being like that. Not saying you’re wrong or anything, I just genuinely find it interesting lol
@@bruja6698 Well, I am also Mexican (Tamaulipas) and the family is so big that funerals are the only chance the family get to see each other at the same time, so the funeral home is loud with chattering, so many people for so many hours, people bring food like tamales and roasted chiken, cookies, soda, and there is a time to be somber like when the ceremony or inside the room where the coffin is quieter. I've known families who deliberately party afterwards, sometimes even in the dead person's home
first story: the thing is, he mentions they joke about "height, weight, etc". basically, all THEIR own attributes. they all "signed" up for the jokes by being a part of the group. E's girlfriend, J, is not their friend, she is not there to hear what they say, joke back at them, nothing. E is basically her representative and he's doing the absolutely right thing by no longer being a part of that friendship. side note, i like how there's no mention of the rest of the group's gfs. either their gfs are "10s" (yuck) or they don't have any. wonder which one it is...
also, let's call what those guys are doing what it is. they're gossiping. that's right, that thing they looove to stereotype and hate women for. they're not "jokes" because to them, there's truth to every joke and the fact they feel the need to continue when he's not around. they're being "catty" and "drama queens", you know, the same things im sure they say about women
@@bootlegcatcafe8818 I almost wonder if other male members of the group have hidden their relationships.. like in fear of judgement as well. From past experience there's always a ring leader, and I've known a lot of men that act like complete different people when that "ring leader" comes around... unfortunately. Their behavior changed almost everytime that I saw, because they didn't want to be victims too..
@@jessikarabbid4720 oh for sure. he says they always talk about J when E isnt around. but who knows if the rest talk about J when E AND Op arent around. it seems like Op is a “ringleader” of sorts, especially since he seems like an instigator
@@bootlegcatcafe8818 oh! I missed the part of them talking about J when E isn't even around... that makes it even more weird to me. Like what's the point? Unless OP maybe secretly likes J or E.... 🤔 sounds a bit obsessive in one way or another!!!
Something to remember fellas... Just because you are no longer attracted to your wife/gf/s.o - does not mean someone else won't be. Careful what you wish for.
This reminds me of that Reddit story where some guy decided he wasn't as attracted to his fat girlfriend anymore, (even though they got together when she was already fat, so I don't know why he was surprised) and short of begged her to open up the relationship, only for her to get all this attention from other dudes and him getting absolutely nothing, so then dude wants to close the relationship and asked if he was the asshole and the internet fucking slaughtered him. Glorious.
the lance and anna story… has it ever occured to the sister that maybe she doesn’t know what lance wants at all? because anna seems to be exactly what he wants. 😂😂😂
Yess clearly the sister has confidence and that's attractive as hell. And the fact they clearly both want kids and op sees that as a problem like boo lance wouldn't want kids with you either way 😂
the fact that she describes Lance as all these great things (smart, attractive, mysterious) and then just says her sister is just beautiful. She clearly has some sort of weird possessiveness over Lance.
Honestly good on the first boyfriend. I know more than a few who would just laugh along but he stood up for his girlfriend. E babes, I wish you a long and happy marriage. Hopfully you find some actual friends.
Group chat story: I hate that because she’s a woman she kind of gets a free pass. If a guy was doing this in a group chat it would be sexual harassment
Yes!! I agree!! I wish the guys woulda said something tho. If it were my husband I would hope they'd leave the chat and them when she asked why they could have told her.
@@Rmrz06. Right. It seems shady that they made the only girl say something. Like, if they had an issue with it they should've left the group chat. It's so easy to avoid people over text so it's like ... why do you even need the girl to go after the other? I feel like men will pin women against each other sometimes too.
@@spaceinveda7408 I’m pretty sure the guys didn’t want to say anything cause the girl could easily pin it negatively on them. Saying they are harassing her, trying to “silence her”, etc. Like, imagine the field day Reddit would have if the dudes “tried to police how she dresses or expresses herself” lol
My husband's ex-friend who was in his late 20s threw a literal tantrum when he was told he couldn't insult me. Husband gave him two options that he could either talk on topics that did not involve me or not be his friend anymore. This 28 year old man couldn't understand this, he called their other friends and told them how I was "making" my husband break friendship over "little things" and how "he could no longer "joke", how I had "completely taken over his friendship" etc. Finally after a year of his continuing to start every conversation with insulting me (and husband reminding him of the boundary -> him throwing the fit and the conversation ending there), husband finally blocked him and every other guy who had the audacity to get involved and tell him to be ok with the insults to his wife.
Well for that description pygmy usually means small. Examples include Pygmy goats. (I'm not trying to be rude. I'm saying this is what you should respond with in a joking tone.)
that last story was insane. I feel bad for girls who have pick me roomates like them. that girl had the audacity to tell her roomate to stay out of the "common area" and basically hide, and then continued to insult her after she complied. take that as a lesson ladies, even if you dim your shine for others they'll still take digs at you so you should have never dimmed your light at all
Preach! At the “fitting through the door” comment, I would’ve turned around & told her “you should take notes, since your boyfriend seems to like it so much” & walked back to my room. 🤷🏻♀️ Don’t dish it if you can’t take it. ✌🏻
@@antisymmetry exactly!! no pick me girl is gonna embarass me in front of her bf although i wouldnt have said anything because id rather she look crazy by herself. I wouldnt give her the reaction she wants and if the bf isnt disgusted than hes trash just like her
I think a pick me guy is a guy who is overly obsessed with being “the nice guy” and making sure every girl in his life knows he’s a feminist and thinks women deserve equal rights and other humans deserve equality.
@@adiegrass1616 I sadly briefly dated a guy who would constantly say “I would never ghost you, I’m a nice guy. I’m such a nice guy, I respect women.” but the guy ghosted me and didn’t respect my wishes when he tried to get back in contact with me when I said I wasn’t interested anymore and to not contact me anymore.
One the first story: OP is annoyed at E for setting a standard, feels like E gets a special treatment by not having to deal with mean jokes.. why not raise the bar of how you treat others to the same standard? I bet OP is insecure and needs to do some soul-searching
The way OP talks about his friend almost sounds like he's either in love with E himself and jealous or he's weirdly possessive (plus sounds really sexist) Insulting someone's partner is not funny. It's disrespectful af fuck.
With the story about Lance I can only hear a therapist in a calming voice say: “I think we should unpack some things here. Why do you hate your sister? Why do you feel the need to yell you’re not in love with Lance? Do you have any nice hobbies?”
First story: “they are just jokes” except they ALSO actually mean the shit they say. and newsflash: jokes are funny and if you find putting down another person as funny you are the worst type of human.
I think what makes someone a pick-me is when they put down other women/men to make themselves appear better. Ex. "Oh, she's just a cheerleader. Cheerleaders are so preppy. I'm way too cool to be her."
Oh my gosh! The boobs thing, YES! I overheard a coworker complaining about how “inappropriate” my shirts were when half the women in department were wearing VERY low cut shirts. I was wearing a V-neck with a tank top under it. I just have boobs. Can’t control it.
On the last story I would've turned around and said very calmly: "I'm sorry you're insecure and that's why you're trying to make me feel the same but the only reason I'm eating takeout every night it's because you said yourself that your boyfriend is talking about my body and even though it's my home too, it's gross and I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own place 🙂" and go happy
That first guy.... the thing everyone is missing is the group wasnt making fun of the friend, they were making fun of his partner, who is NOT in the group and did NOT sign up for this dynamic. Everyone keeps saying "we joke about each other" but this isn't about "each other," this is about someone else. This dude doesn't see his friends partner as her own person, just an extension of his friend (gross, first of all) who isn't worthy of the general respect you'd give someone outside your group. The friend has every right to be upset about his friends mocking and basically bullying his partner, because the partner did NOT sign up for this at all nor is she included in the "banter".
Cause of this show, I’ve realized my mother is a huge Pick Me. Literally while I was getting teary eyed as my wife-to-be was walking down the aisle, my mom started waving her arms around to get my attention to mime that I should smile. Her distracting me broke me out of the moment, stopping me from crying which pissed me off and put a sour memory over the entire ceremony (this was not the first time she’s taken something big from me to put herself in the spotlight)
lol just based on your name (and i could be wrong) i’m assuming you can’t be much older than early 20s and no worries man, we rly do all have our moments. learning from it Ever is awesome, learning it young is excellent just ‘cause it even makes your life way easier…
I think every girl during puberty has 'pick me' moments, because we are taught being 'like the other girls' meant being all the bad aspects associated with being feminine. it's the misogyny for sure, and it also encourages us to see each other as competition, but also the extreme self doubt.
I'm told constantly that I need to dress "more like a mum" now I have two kids. I'm 27. But apparently now I'm not allowed to wear crop tops or bikinis anymore
I hate when people say that. I’m not a mom and I’m only 23 but I love seeing confident moms wearing what they want, rather it be all covered up or bikinis! Just cause you’re a mom doesn’t mean you have to put yourself second 🫶🏻
This!!! I’m 26 I have two beautiful kids and I’m constantly told to wear something more “covering” cause I’m a mom and everything… but I feel best in that and that’s what I’m gonna do
it’s so confusing like i know moms who can absolutely pull off those looks & my family doesn’t shit on my cousin as far as i know of for dressing like she’s a young adult… when we see young women with babies who are influencers we don’t get mad if they’re in a crop top and yoga pants. i do not get how young (and confident older, and when i say older i mean 50+ not 30+) women have to regulate some dress code like they’re not still attractive women wearing what feels nice. if you show up in a sheer lace thing otherwise completely nude it’s an issue, if you’re wearing something a lil short or a lil tight then feck either you love yourself or couldn’t afford a shirt with more coverage or both. my mom recently started wearing shorts, leggings, all this stylish form-fitting hot girl summer shit. she is more stylish than me these days and i’m so proud of her. basically since the moment she got pregnant, she felt like she had to dress like the boring side of old navy forever and then she saw women on tiktok saying fuck off i wear what i want and i look amazing. she took that inspiration and she looks amazing!!! i’d literally only shit on her or on younger women wearing low coverage cute shit if i let my insecurity and jealousy attack me and the way i see others in a bad bad way. it stinks that we have these standards at all
I had a mohawk when I had my first at 18 and dressed like a punk. Tartan trousers and cherry red Doc Martins. Was told constantly that I needed to "grow up" now that I was a mum and dress more like a mother figure. I could never understand it. My appearance has nothing to do with how much I love and care for my children. I'm Muslim now, so I have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other 😂 But I wish I hadn't been pushed to dress like a frumpy middle aged woman when I didn't want too, I still dont now at 30 and I've never been into anything worse then booty shorts and a t-shirt. My mum, who was one of the people pushing me to be more conservative, now goes to the pub with just a bra and see through top on and my siatsrs always tell her its not appropriate at her age (48) even tho she looks amazing. Double standards all round 😂
the pick me girl stories, the ones like the story about her sister dating her friend.. really made me realize that i was a pick me girl in my teens ughhh
The sundress guy is excited to see other women FOR SURE. hes also a misogynistic pos. If you dont like your partners body, break up. You dont have a right to tell someone to change their body. You arent a match, plain and simple.
My immediate reaction to his "she's probably overweight but I wouldnt tell her that cause I'm not an idiot" Was uh but u just DID. How else do u take the words "you arent ready for sundress season"
i think the thing with guys judging other guys gf’s appearances has to do with men getting their validation from other men. like men are always competing with each other for who has the hottest wife, the nicest car, etc. and it’s about their status in society that’s been rooted in misogyny
my best friend does certain things like a “pick-me”, for example, we have some guy friends and she will say things like “i can’t believe it took you that long to get ready, i could never care that much about how i look” or one time on my 21st birthday, she sat there with my boyfriend at the time and told him all the “embarrassing” things i did when we were broken up a few months ago, and it just came off hurtful to me and that she was trying to make me look like a more high maintenance, emotional girl than her to.. idk get their approval?? it was so weird and she always does it. even today, she posted stuff on her story after i was sad this week about said boyfriend ending things with me again, about how she needs to surround herself with people who are more successful and less sad. i wanna send her this episode and be like “omg you have to watch this, it’s so funny!” just to see if she will self reflect on the same behavior HAHA
@@droqlet as much as i’d like to, we work full time together in an office space and i have 6 months left of my contract here before i move upstate :( maybe after i will just distance myself but i don’t want the work drama of ending a friendship haha
The good part of me wants to say you should take the high road and let her downfall happen naturally, because it always comes with people like that. The petty part of me says to wait till she’s really feeling a guy in front of you and loudly ask her if she just farted 💀 not the most mature option but it gets the job done
@@naomikathleen3616 a girl in the friend group has officially been condemned by everyone. Everyone FINALLY noticed she's mean to the women in the group & makes inappropriate comments about the guys & how they all love her. I'm glad they all finally saw her true colors
He's calling it a joke. Making a mockery of her. He's been clear he's serious about her, that should be enough for his friends.I would understand if she was a raging b*tch, but nothing of the sort was mentioned. Just her looks. Therefore: he's TA.
That first story: the worst part is she’s probably super aware of it too, because people love to hate on women when they think the spouse or partner is more attractive. It reminds me of a UA-camr I watch talking about how often she gets messages about how her husband must be gay because there’s no way he would find her attractive. It’s awful. Also idk if all these stories were about pick mes, just awful people? I conceptualize pick mes as people talking about how better they are than other men/women, not people who have non gender conforming interests (like enjoying strip clubs). Tara Mookney has awesome videos about pick me boys and girls.
I agree that sometimes being called a “pick me” is inaccurate. But anyone who gets called out on shitty or inappropriate behavior that responds with “I can’t help that I’m like that” or “sorry you’re not any fun” is 100% a pick me. The group chat story was weird af, and that girl obviously has no social awareness
I think they did one called malicious compliance or revenge. Where people were being petty and they discuss if it's justified or not. It's a good episode I recommend it.
I recently showed my mom the “Basic Hygiene… Not So Basic” episode and she was ROLLING at Justin’s poop commentary. My dad and her are road-tripping for their anniversary and she plans on playing the pod in the car lmao. Glad to spread the wealth (but not the cheeks 😂) and loved this episode!!!
I butt heads with my mom over the boob size thing too! She is an A cup and I'm a DD-DDD and she's gotten better about understanding that the presence of cleavage on me doesn't mean something is low cut, but it's still a struggle. She also was raised with a lot of catholic guilt haha so she has a lot of shame around bodies that I've tried to train her out of... I also continue to have to tell her that it's a lot more inappropriate of her to say "you shouldn't wear that around your father" than for me to wear something that's slightly revealing. Like he's my dad... He's not looking and shouldn't be.
i’m glad she’s trying. not that it was ever okay to say anything like that to you, but as a busty gal who’s only lived with relatives that have the same body type, and as someone with a family full of bottled up ass irish catholic emotions, i think it means a lot that she bothers to listen or change even ever so slightly. that’s emotional helth right there, and it’s super cool of you to grant that patience when you really aren’t necessarily obligated to do so. she’s got a lot of work to do on her own, but you’re helping her along in a great way even just through commanding the respect and comfort you deserve
For the Funeral Story: It could be cultural differences and I’ve been to some funerals where that might’ve been an okay announcement to make. Family sees each other so infrequently. Etc etc. That being said OP KNEW the mood was somber. At a funeral you follow whatever that other cultures’ practices are. Not try and lighten it because it’s not as cheerful as you’d like.
Exactly! My thing with this is that it should be understood that whoever is hosting a big event, *their* cultural norms are what should be practiced. This was the husband’s father, therefore it was a funeral held according to the cultural rules of his side of the family. Her saying “well we do this in OUR family” is her being insensitive. The three biggest events in a human being’s life are their birth, their wedding, and their funeral. It was extremely insensitive to try to force positivity on that group of people. And personally, I don’t want a party or any happy announcements at *my* funeral, and if anyone does I will haunt their ass until they turn to dust.
Yeah, like OP literally has married into the family, so at this point I would imagine they know what the practices in that family are. Like if sb did it on my great-grandma's funeral I would literally feel like they disrespected her and everybody's feelings at the wake.... Like the mood is usually the ultimate social cue. I think OP should have definetly discussed it with their husband as it is his family's lose... I don't like the way OP put the well he wasn't really affected by this death as it literally seems like they are knew what was up and are trying to excuse themselves for being ignorant. Just sad story overall.
And when she said the mood had lifted a bit so it seemed OK, you know she was thinking the whole time "ugh when is myyyyy moment? Everyone's too sad now :( .... OK some time has passed and I think aunty just cracked a smile so fuck it, my turn"
For the Bran story.. My bf had a friend who was kind of weird and I DID ask them they both swore up and down that they’re just friends. I tried to be understanding and even cultivated a friendship with the girl… found out 2 days after our 7 year anniversary he’d been cheating with her. Always trust your gut guys
Something I wanna say about the first story; OP complains that E is so funny and talkative but J is quiet and doesn't talk. Maybe his gf (J) doesn't want to talk to you! She probably got bad vibes from OP anyways and rightfully so!
The Lance story; 🤣🤣🤣 holy crap omg. She loves him so much. She’s loved him for years. She’s sooo sad to realize that he was looking past her all that time at her “hot sister”.
The one about sun dress season: He is technically saying she is overweight by wanting to look at other women in sun dresses and not her, and telling her, "You're not ready yet."
Oh man! When my husband and I where first dating alot of his girl friends treated me like shit because they where some how possessive with him. So much drama. One once told me " I will always be in his life. Even if you don't like it" lol 😆 he dropped her and married me
Funny how the guy in the first story says he doesn't really mean it when he literally said in his post he thinks his friends GF is uglier than him. As a teen I've only resorted to pick me behavior to either fit in or stop from being bullied. Its a brutal cycle.
I had a “friend” who was always in competition with me. She thought I was “too fat” and “too ugly” to have the boyfriends I did. She got many of them to sleep with her and she’d go after every single one of my ex’s.
ew i’m sorry that happened to you both bc of how cruel that was of your “friend” to say and do and bc the fact that some of those guys disrespected you in such a painful manner is so disgusting and awful. i’m glad you know she’s not your friend and i hope you’re either with someone who respects you and loves you a lot or are single and are gonna walk into someone who knows your true beauty any day now 🌸
@@sidoniegabrielle269 I’m married now and we’re very happy. She tried to get at him but my husband laughed at her. Her brother was a full grown man in his 30s and was trying to get my 16yr old sis to sleep with him. I turned into hulk. My husband and I were attacked by her entire family and then they called the police on us. Lmfao. Her and her entire family is so disgusting.
I feel like with the pregnancy announcement one, it would’ve been way better to tell her husband in private and then ask him if it was OK to announce it at the funeral. He should know his family well enough to be able to make that call.
omg yes, I'm categorized by coworkers as a "pick me" at work. They think I'm a pick me because they can't imagine anyone genuinely loving being a cashier and cleaning without having the intention of becoming a manager. I have zero intentions of pleasing my managers, zero intentions of making my coworkers look bad at their job, it's just that after years of working at professional jobs that I thought were the dream jobs for me or just jobs that I needed until I finally found the job that truly fulfills me. i used to work at a lab making clones for research, i used to work training horses, worked at restaurants, worked as a janitor, worked as a page at a library, etc. So while I was good at all my jobs, i didn't enjoy them. I just thought that everyone was miserable at their jobs and that jobs are called work because it's hard to do due to not being enjoyable. It wasn't until I helped an old lady do her groceries on my first day as a cashier that I realized, cashiering is the best job ever because she smiled and thanked me for helping her. then another customer started to worry about the total on her groceries and then I suggested to sign up her phone, email and birthday on the store's website to get a $5 coupon, a free reusable bag and a free tub of blue bell icecream. the sigh of relief she had gave me a high of feeling proud of my job. i love teaching kids how to count their money to do their first purchase, i love reading the small print to the elderly on products, I love carrying heavy stuff for disabled customers, i love meeting service dogs, i love how sparkly my register gets when i clean it, i love the excitement of finding a case of baby formula that hadn't been put up for a desperate mom finding food for her baby (that look of relief in their eyes is EVERYTHING to me). I do cashiering for that high. I even declined several offers to become a store manager because I don't want to give up my position as a cashier. Sure I do get occasionally a rude customer or two, but I'm so high from the smiles and pleasant talk from the other customers that their rude comments don't bother me at all. I'm even often found dancing and humming at my register from sheer happiness. I understand that it's not a job for everyone and that most people find retail to be torture but for me, cashiering feels like my calling and purpose in life. So no i don't do it to impress anyone, i don't even try to put down others. I'm just in my little bubble enjoying the social interactions of every day people.
The sad thing about capitalism is the millions of doctors who would love to do what you do and jealous cashiers who wish they could have studied to be doctors, I'm glad you found your bliss.
The pregnancy announcement at the funeral is normal in my home/family. In our culture pregnancy after death is a blessing and actually a very proud moment & I’ve actually experienced 2 pregnancy announcements at a family member’s funeral, my tia passed and my cousin found out she was pregnant days before the funeral, she announced it there an it made the celebration of my aunts life an knowing her is family is still growing, we believe that out family member sent the baby. Death is celebrated in my culture we get blacked out drunk have a band, food everyone’s laughing, crying arguing. I don’t think that girl is a pick me just shes use to different family dynamics.
"thou shall not judge" has me rolling. Not quite the biblical text or translation, but it would make a cool crop top. Also, I have hated my experiences with some of my previous youth pastors who have shamed or made me and others feel insecure for being kids. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Lauren.
Imo being "thick skinned" just means foregoing your own boundaries to make other people feel comfortable. I feel as if in the first story, op isn't 100% comfortable with some of the jokes being told but they want to be "thick skinned" so they suffer in silence. They're upset that E set a boundary and the whole group respected it (when he assumed they wouldn't go with it, which is why he never set any boundaries), while op has endured discomfort for a while. It's not E's fault that YOU decided not to set your boundaries so you can appease others.
It’s so sad seeing a women or a man shut down, lose confidence and stop being themselves because of what someone said about their appearance. I don’t understand why people have to come at others looks. We’re all human. Life is hard enough we don’t need others commenting on our appearance and putting us down!
Okay I think you guys are not fully understanding what a pick me is. It's fine. A lot of people are using it incorrectly. A pick me girl is a girl or woman who weaponizes misogyny against other women in order to win favor/ praise from their desired partner. They often fall into "traditional" female roles, or in the complete opposite vein, shun things considered overly feminine to be "one of the boys". Both of these things aren't necessarily because they like those roles, although they might, but because of their internalized misogyny and belief that acting the way they do will attract a partner. Edit: common example of a pick me girl are those women that pop up in those "alpha male" podcasts For a **guy** to be a pick me, he would have to participate in and weaponize misandry against other men, in order to appeal to potential partners. Often, the kind of male feminists women complain about are in fact pick me men. That first guy isn't an example of a pick me, he's just an asshole.
Yes, this, 100% this. It is absolutely not a great thing to be a pick me. I think the term has been skewed a bunch. “Pick me” girls are people struggling with intense internalized misogyny
@@squinklings it's the new gaslighting. Although people are still milking that one for all it's worth🤦🏿♀️ I feel like a lot of the time, these things were clearly defined and defined correctly at first, but then social media and tiktok turned it into a game of telephone
Im so confused now. Why are there so many definitions for a pick me? I felt like the first guy was a pick me because from my POV it would seem he had some sort of obsession over the dude because of how he rated him as a 9 or 10 then went on to make his gf seem less attractive. Yes he is still an asshole but i also think he was acting like a pick me. I think it just depends on everyones point of view.
So, this first story got to me! Rating people with numbers is so degrading! Talking down about someone's significant other is absolutely horrible! My fiancé won't let anyone bash me or say anything even remotely negative. He won't let anyone say anything degrading about any of his exes either despite some pretty bad break ups in the past. He states that they meant something to him at some point and he'll honor that and leave it in the past where it belongs. This makes me feel good because we have a daughter together and she sees both her parents treat each other with respect, what more can a lady ask for!? J is lucky to have a stand up guy like E and OP is just mad that E drawing a line for some basic human respect.
Morgan’s level of self confidence to say a saying wrong and then even sing it is kinda admirable-like it’s wrong but she says it with her whole chest (respect)
I really enjoy the authentic aspect to you two! You stumble through your words and talk in circles when you are seriously amped up about topics! My SIL is a pick me girl and she enrages me! She takes it to the point of gaslighting me and picking on me in public settings. She gave a speech at my wedding just roasting me about how stupid I was. She's not a nice person, but the point here is she has such a hard time making and keeping friends. 😕
Pregnancy announcement story: When I was in sixth grade one our teachers’ husbands died. It was really sad and the mood of the sixth grade class went down for a while. However a couple of months later (after the funeral) one of our other teachers announced she was pregnant. I can’t tell how much that lifted the spirits of the entire grade, especially when the teacher who’s husband had died shared in our happy reaction and took a moment to thank us for the way we emotionally supported her and told us that now was the time to be happy. I don’t think that the woman was wrong in thinking this new would lift their spirits, I think she was wrong for when she did it and way she did it. She didn’t give anybody time to morn the death of their love one and anytime someone stands on a chair it will always give a “Hey Look At Me!” vibe.
Still on the first story but I’ve actually heard a lot of “uwu nice guys” referred to as pick me boys because, although they aren’t directly putting anyone down, they’re acting a specific way, usually a way that isn’t genuine, in order to get girls to “pick them”
The way I understood the term pick me is that a woman will put other women down specifically to lift herself up and please the male gaze/male standards of what women should be like etc
I used to pride myself on being told “I’m super chill and not dramatic like other girls” and thought that girls were way more catty than boys but now I realize that I’m super happy with my girlfriends and guy friends. All are amazing
Hi girls! French listener here! When I heard you were going to make a “pick mes” episode I was a little worried about how you were going to explain it. I’m so glad you mentioned internalised misogyny! It plays a huge part in this notion and you being aware of it and explaining it was a big relief! Keep up the good work, bisous from France!
For the pregnancy announcement, my family would be excited about this. My mom passed and my nephew was born soon after on the anniversary of her death, we took comfort in the loss of life/gain of new life thing. I think she probably thought that it would help people feel better, getting excited about a new member of the family and trying to include the one who was lost.
Ugh. Like that first story, my husband's friends can be super weird and so mean to each other. I purposefully stay away from them. On the rare occasions they've said something to me, I have spoken up and he has taken them aside too and told them it's not okay, which I appreciate. His own friends get too much for him sometimes. I don't understand friend groups who put each other down all the time. Good for the guy standing up for his SO and distancing himself from that nonsense.
I never ever comment but I just wanted to say how amazing you both are! This podcast feels like free therapy! Thank you so much for putting the time in so we can all enjoy !
I love this so much, you handle such interesting and often complicated issues! Like the pick me thing is definitely something some people do, but in so many cases when it actually comes to pick me girls, there is just SO much internalised misogyny too, which is just a horrible thing in general but can also just really creep into your mindset in such a sneaky way, because we get told by the world around us SO much HOW women in particular 'should' behave... and it's just,... it's terrible.
To address the first part of the vid, regarding that comment Morgan read out, I don’t think they were calling her a pick-me for having that preference, I think calling her a pick-me for putting that person from the story down for considering it cheating just bc Morgan herself didn’t. Generally the diff that makes a pick-me instead of just a hater is intent, like if you’re actually doing it for guys or if you’re just doing it for some other reason. So while I don’t think their comment was accurate I do think it was misinterpreted. Just my two cents 🤙🏻
Honestly in the first 15 minutes of this video you guys have already changed my opinion on what a pick me is. You've helped me better understand the definition of what that actually is, it really does require the intention to make others feel bad while trying to impress someone else with insults or with how much better the pick me is than the other person all of those factors have to be there
Hi, I love your podcast! I just wanted to mention that in that friends episode, Monica was actually super excited to find out Rachel was pregnant at the reception. Monica told Rachel to take a test then and there because it would be the “best gift” Monica could get in her wedding day! Sorry it’s my fav show, no criticism just wanted to inform you of that scene. If it were my wedding I think I’d love that announcement too, though I don’t like the spot light on me much haha
I think the “pick me” aspect of the first two stories from men is the fact that these guys did something seriously wrong but still seek validation because they want someone to pick their side over recognizing their OBVIOUS cruelty.
bottom line (and this applies to almost everything): if someone is doing something that doesn't hurt anyone, and makes them happy/fulfilled, let them be. not everyone needs to live their lives how you believe they should, nor do they even have the same worldview as you. introspection is key!! love u ladies i'm glad u ended up doing this topic :) xo
The being called a pick me girl for calling someone else a pick me girl reminds me of this girl who I went to middle school with. She’d constantly call people rude all the time so I had to finally tell her it was rude for her to be walking around calling other people rude
Surprisingly I was in the same situation as E from the first AITAH. Jokes about significant others are off limits, especially when they are disrespectful and when the person in question isn't even there. Some people just don't get that
Pick me stories remind me so much of my crappy friendship with a past girl friend. So glad there is an accurate term that describes these toxic behaviors!
Her wanting to “lighten the mood” is her being so self absorbed it’s news that’s great for you about a good thing in your life while people are actively grieving so someone else great news that isn’t directly affecting them is supposed to make them happy??
It’s honestly so interesting hearing about Lauren’s open interesting in sex, like not just sex itself, but the whys and hows of the culture and social norms behind sex and whatnot, especially with wanting to be a sex therapist and going to strip clubs
This felt like a therapy session for girls just by listening to it! Well said! Don’t be afraid of more talking with guests! As long as y’all stay on topic!
The minute men start assigning women numbers “she was a 3 or 4” I immediately shut down. That’s the nastiest thing. She’s a human being
When you said minite men I didn't realize it was 'the instant men' and as a history student read it as the military position in the American revolution and was so confused
@@basementdwellercosplay who knows maybe the Minute Men DID do that 😂
Right? I always said where’s my blue ribbon if you’re gonna talk about me like I’m livestock
@@charlieboy1087 Maybe they're only into women who go out on sunny days without wearing a bonnet 😂👒
broke up with my first bf bc of this. found out he told all of our friends i was “only a 6/10” ….instant break up lol
The sundress story makes me so sad for her… she sounded so happy for him to get her a sun dress because he “likes them” just for him to tell her she’s not ready to wear one but he’s excited to see other girls in sun dresses.
Right! Like my partner made the same comment and i got some sun dresses and he's so excited! Like she thought that be a fun way to spice things up or just look cute/attractive to her sad excuse for a husband. And news flash saying she isn't sundress ready is calling her fat. I hate when guys use the excuse"well i didn't outwardly tell her she's fat so it's ok"
@@knitwitchpgh what I can't get over with so many men who get annoyed when their girlfriend or wife gets fat, is the lack of self awareness - so many men over a certain age, or even young men, aren't exactly trim or in shape, a lot even overweight, and do we as women say anything? No. Because we love them as people and most of the time it has no effect on our attraction to them. Yet women are expected to keep themselves "nice" for their partners while men barely bother to shower. I'm saying this as someone with an overweight partner who isn't like that for the most part, though he has made a couple comments about not being attracted to bigger women, however he also has the self awareness most men lack and is trying to follow his own logic to get more in shape since this weight gain is more recent for him and not usual. I'm gaining weight and if he ever made a comment about me not being "sundress ready" I'd just leave - I've always been respectful about his weight and the weight of any man I've been with, I expect the same in return.
Honestly heartbreaking. She deserves better
Seriously…men are so cruel sometimes towards their significant others it doesn’t make sense. I hope she finds her worth and leaves him.
If my partner made a comment like that, I would seriously reconsider our relationship & tell him to get therapy
13:36 1st story
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God bless you
ur a god 🙏🏻
ur the best
Ty it takes so long for them to get to it lol
scrolling for this comment
The amount of times as a literal child that adult women accused me of going out of my way to get sexual attention from men... like are y'all okay??
I had a similar incident too when I was 13. My mum and I used to take very long walks during summer break and we have very big mansions in our area. A car came towards us and I looked at the driver and thought huh...he is handsome. The minute, I looked over to the passenger's seat, his wife, who was definitely older than him, looked at me with this jealous look. After that, I told my mum: "Oh wow, you have to be very insecure to be jealous of a 13-year-old." Some women are really the worst😅🤣
🤢 awful.
Same! I’ve had grown men hit on me in front of their wives & the wives gets mad at me. A lot would be done when I worked in retail. But I had to be nice.
Right!?! Like hunni it's hot... why are you sexualizing a child wearing shorts and a tank top... like clearly you and your husband are the problem for getting all hot and bothered about it.
Same
As a trans guy I think I can confidently say without being a pick me that *I really was not like other girls*
Lmao me
Literally laughed out loud! You win the comments!
thats bc you a trans guy as you said, not a girl
@@tyler_du yes, but I was socialized as a girl
@@tyler_du wow it's almost like that's the joke
Reverse pick me story: I was driving, and had a guy with me I was super into. I asked him to put on music and he put jazz. I love jazz, and said that too, even asked if he knew few songs I like. He grew quiet and then said "You know, it's quite annoying and not cute when you try to match my interests". Damn dude, lemme just like jazz... Then he tried to make me "prove I know jazz" (gatekeeping).
That sucks! That's a reason I have trouble opening up about my interests. I kind of like a little of everything but don't have many full on obsessions. So I can never "prove" I like something enough for other people 😅 whether you are familiar with 5 jazz artists or 100, you still like jazz!
So...if he ever dates someone, he doesn't want his significant other to have common interests and hobbies with him? He doesn't want to do things together? I don't get this mindset. So you were supposed to HATE jazz?? Like...having simillar interests means you can talk about things. I don't get the way he thinks
Imagine thinking so highly of yourself that you think other people can’t possibly share your interests
@@sw8228and more think so entitled that he was hoping he chose music the owner of the car hated...so just a full blown AH
"I'm not stupid enough to tell her she's overweight." LITERALLY IMPLIED THAT SHE'S OVERWEIGHT.
"I'm not stupid I told her shes a gross heffer I don't know why she thought I said she was fat jeez".
He apparently thinks she's overweight and too dumb to realize he thinks so. Made me so mad
"Uhh, mate, it looks like she's overweight."
@@lunar.mermaid no, he is just avoiding the word so he can claim "I've never said that!"
@alma_42 you're right. He's probably planning to gaslight her.
For the girl commenting on how her sister dresses: as the wife of a "quiet" guy I can assure you we know our husbands, if we're saying something's up, we're not asking for your opinion on it.
Yes was looking for this comment! the older sister didn't seem to understand that a guy may not act the same between a female friend and his dang wife! Sounds like he's quiet around the older sister and is prob more open to the younger sister aka the wife which is how it should be lol your wife should be your best friend
YES! As the girlfriend of a quiet guy (going on 5 years now), I can tell the difference between his regular quiet and “weird” quiet.
I know when to get him out of a situation, when to talk to him about a situation, and when it’s ok to encourage him to try something knew just based on the kind of quiet I’m experiencing from him. Even over text at this point.
Didn't know where to write
but I find this couple so lovely,reminded me of kdrama manga jdrama itazura kiss
All this quiet husband and outgoing wife
Ooooh, it made my day
The guy who said that he rates his friend’s girlfriend a 3 or 4 is so mean. The girl is probably gorgeous and a 10 in her man’s eyes. Beauty is soooo subjective and just because he thinks she’s ugly, that doesn’t mean she is AT ALL. Also, a fantastic personality makes someone so so soooo much more attractive. I’m glad that his friend stood up for the woman he loves and got out of that toxic group. The OP is an awful person.
I know... Right... Like I feel there is a good chance the girl is actually equal to the guy she's dating like 8 or 9 and the OP is just a jealous birch
If he thinks she’s a 3 what’s the problem? You just said it was relative to the individual. Get over it.
And also there are clear 10s. It’s not subjective. There are clear 1s. Not subjective.
@@joeydiaz5927 If your friend is in love with a girl, it is so hurtful to tell him you think she’s unattractive. No one wants to hear that about someone they love. So that automatically makes the friend inconsiderate and rude. Also, I do agree that there are some people that are extremely gorgeous and others who are typically perceived as ugly. However, most people fall in the middle and are just normal. And a lot of men have preferences that can make a woman higher or lower on their scale. For example, I have no curves whatsoever and I have a more athletic build because I ran in high school and a lot of guys would not find my body attractive. Luckily for me, I am my boyfriends type. I’m also blonde which is his type. If I was a curvy brunette, he would rate me a lot lower than a skinny blonde but on another guys scale I might be rated lower. So that’s mainly what I was trying to say. Everyone’s scale is different and although some people are objectively attractive or ugly due to cultural standards, the people in the middle are a lot more subjective.
@@Mel-zv1gf I agree. The vast majority of people are average. Humans are a bell curve. But a man’s relationship with his friends is much different than girls. Men don’t mind hurting feelings if it’s necessary or is needed to prove a point. We are not women who generally tip toe around feelings. Guys are not like that. And if your boy is telling you your girl isn’t good looking he is telling you not as a bully but as a friend who thinks you can do better. I’ve told my friend they can do better haven’t you ?
@@joeydiaz5927 objectively speaking you are talking about doing better with looks? How does that encompass personality or how she treats him? I can understand saying he can do better if she treated him like shit and had a shit personality “like OP” but it sounds like he’s just taking her at face value. Not to mention they’re talking shit about someone who isn’t there to defend themselves . I’d like to see them say that shit to her face and not stutter. People are all kinds of confident behind closed doors but how much you wanna bet that if she were standing in front of them they’d all be wearing shit eating grins and being the kind of sweet that gives cavities. It’s bullshit. Looks may get you in the door but her personality is what made him stay with her for so long. And I’m sorry but being a shit talker behind closed doors doesn’t make you a man. It makes you a p**sy. And he should be ashamed at judging someone he barely knows.
Never once did he say that the gf treats him like shit. Or is a horrible person. Not once did he ever say she was horrible to him. Saying she’s “ugly” without ever actually getting to know her is disgusting. And before you say there are people who are clearly ugly and clearly attractive there is someone out there that will find the person you deem “ugly” attractive. My sister and I have sat down and I have said I find a guy attractive and she says she doesn’t find him attractive at all.
Not only is judging someone by appearances instead of character ugly in itself. It’s deplorable, and that person should take a long look in the mirror and think about the person they want to be. Before judging anyone. It sounds like he’s jealous of his friends healthy and happy relationship to me.
That’s all I had to say.
For that story about the jealous sister. You just *know* Lance hates OP, and probably was always annoyed with her. Not only is OP jealous of her sister Ann (I think?), but she also can't see a single admirable quality in her? "All Ann talks about is her looks." Is that really true? Or does she just not see her Ann as a person. Not to mention maybe the reason Lance is always quiet around her is because he's not comfortable with her, and never was.
Exactly! Maybe OP has subconsciously started showing signs of her distaste towards her sister's and Lance's relationship and her jealousy over it, making him uncomfortable and wanting to distance himself from her. And it might be that OP and Lance weren't ever really that close but she had a crush on him and now is just seething over the fact that Lance didn't "choose" her.
@@TheFairylilith OMG YOURE SO RIGHT! I don’t think they were ever close, and I’ve totally liked guys and seen this connection that just wasn’t there. But for years? Into him being married? Really?
Ann is in love with Lance and bitter bcuz he fell for her sister instead of her. The signs are way to obvious.
Exactly 💯
@@krisl6537 Ann Is the younger sister aka wife totally agree though
My mom announced my pregnancy at my grandmas funeral (her mom). everyone cheered and was so happy. Mexican funerals aren’t super sad. We throw parties to celebrate the life that person lived. there’s usually music, alcohol, and dancing. i think the funeral story was a cultural difference like Morgan pointed out.
Where are you from? I’m Mexican too (have lived in Monterrey and Guadalajara) and I have never heard of funerals being like that. Not saying you’re wrong or anything, I just genuinely find it interesting lol
@@bruja6698 texas
@@bruja6698 los funerales de pueblo suelen ser asi
It depends but the girl in that story seemed very dense . It was very inappropriate
@@bruja6698 Well, I am also Mexican (Tamaulipas) and the family is so big that funerals are the only chance the family get to see each other at the same time, so the funeral home is loud with chattering, so many people for so many hours, people bring food like tamales and roasted chiken, cookies, soda, and there is a time to be somber like when the ceremony or inside the room where the coffin is quieter. I've known families who deliberately party afterwards, sometimes even in the dead person's home
first story: the thing is, he mentions they joke about "height, weight, etc". basically, all THEIR own attributes. they all "signed" up for the jokes by being a part of the group. E's girlfriend, J, is not their friend, she is not there to hear what they say, joke back at them, nothing. E is basically her representative and he's doing the absolutely right thing by no longer being a part of that friendship. side note, i like how there's no mention of the rest of the group's gfs. either their gfs are "10s" (yuck) or they don't have any. wonder which one it is...
also, let's call what those guys are doing what it is. they're gossiping. that's right, that thing they looove to stereotype and hate women for. they're not "jokes" because to them, there's truth to every joke and the fact they feel the need to continue when he's not around. they're being "catty" and "drama queens", you know, the same things im sure they say about women
@@bootlegcatcafe8818 I almost wonder if other male members of the group have hidden their relationships.. like in fear of judgement as well. From past experience there's always a ring leader, and I've known a lot of men that act like complete different people when that "ring leader" comes around... unfortunately. Their behavior changed almost everytime that I saw, because they didn't want to be victims too..
@@jessikarabbid4720 oh for sure. he says they always talk about J when E isnt around. but who knows if the rest talk about J when E AND Op arent around. it seems like Op is a “ringleader” of sorts, especially since he seems like an instigator
@@bootlegcatcafe8818 oh! I missed the part of them talking about J when E isn't even around... that makes it even more weird to me. Like what's the point? Unless OP maybe secretly likes J or E.... 🤔 sounds a bit obsessive in one way or another!!!
I think their only gfs are their right hands
Something to remember fellas... Just because you are no longer attracted to your wife/gf/s.o - does not mean someone else won't be. Careful what you wish for.
This reminds me of that Reddit story where some guy decided he wasn't as attracted to his fat girlfriend anymore, (even though they got together when she was already fat, so I don't know why he was surprised) and short of begged her to open up the relationship, only for her to get all this attention from other dudes and him getting absolutely nothing, so then dude wants to close the relationship and asked if he was the asshole and the internet fucking slaughtered him. Glorious.
@@fricketyfracktraintrack do you have the link to that story by any chance??
@@aliyahscarth lmk if u get the link
the lance and anna story… has it ever occured to the sister that maybe she doesn’t know what lance wants at all? because anna seems to be exactly what he wants. 😂😂😂
Right! You only know Lance In group or friend settings! You don’t know how he is one on one! It just angered me
Yess clearly the sister has confidence and that's attractive as hell. And the fact they clearly both want kids and op sees that as a problem like boo lance wouldn't want kids with you either way 😂
the fact that she describes Lance as all these great things (smart, attractive, mysterious) and then just says her sister is just beautiful. She clearly has some sort of weird possessiveness over Lance.
Clearly Lance wants a very outgoing and bright personality to offset his quiet nature. Opposites can, in fact, attract.
Lance probably needed the sister's influence to come out of his shell in a way he never could with OP because he wasn't comfortable enough
I feel like Morgan has lived 1000s lives. Every episode she has some relevant past job or story/experience. It’s great.
Same!! She’s an ancient being, with much wisdom.
Like Barbie hahaha!
Honestly good on the first boyfriend. I know more than a few who would just laugh along but he stood up for his girlfriend. E babes, I wish you a long and happy marriage. Hopfully you find some actual friends.
Re the first story: Forget giving me pick me vibes, this gives me "It's CAllEd DaRk HumOr BrO" vibes.
This!
My thoughts exact!!
Yeah I was thinking " this doesn't seem like a pick me"
Group chat story: I hate that because she’s a woman she kind of gets a free pass. If a guy was doing this in a group chat it would be sexual harassment
I was thinking the same thing!!!
Yes!! I agree!! I wish the guys woulda said something tho. If it were my husband I would hope they'd leave the chat and them when she asked why they could have told her.
@@Rmrz06. this. The guys should have spoken up.
@@Rmrz06. Right. It seems shady that they made the only girl say something.
Like, if they had an issue with it they should've left the group chat. It's so easy to avoid people over text so it's like ... why do you even need the girl to go after the other?
I feel like men will pin women against each other sometimes too.
@@spaceinveda7408 I’m pretty sure the guys didn’t want to say anything cause the girl could easily pin it negatively on them. Saying they are harassing her, trying to “silence her”, etc. Like, imagine the field day Reddit would have if the dudes “tried to police how she dresses or expresses herself” lol
My husband's ex-friend who was in his late 20s threw a literal tantrum when he was told he couldn't insult me. Husband gave him two options that he could either talk on topics that did not involve me or not be his friend anymore. This 28 year old man couldn't understand this, he called their other friends and told them how I was "making" my husband break friendship over "little things" and how "he could no longer "joke", how I had "completely taken over his friendship" etc. Finally after a year of his continuing to start every conversation with insulting me (and husband reminding him of the boundary -> him throwing the fit and the conversation ending there), husband finally blocked him and every other guy who had the audacity to get involved and tell him to be ok with the insults to his wife.
I was listening to this episode and my husband overheard and said “what is a Pygmy girl?” 😂
Well for that description pygmy usually means small. Examples include Pygmy goats.
(I'm not trying to be rude. I'm saying this is what you should respond with in a joking tone.)
😂😂😂
Omg that's so cute😂
that last story was insane. I feel bad for girls who have pick me roomates like them. that girl had the audacity to tell her roomate to stay out of the "common area" and basically hide, and then continued to insult her after she complied. take that as a lesson ladies, even if you dim your shine for others they'll still take digs at you so you should have never dimmed your light at all
Preach! At the “fitting through the door” comment, I would’ve turned around & told her “you should take notes, since your boyfriend seems to like it so much” & walked back to my room. 🤷🏻♀️ Don’t dish it if you can’t take it. ✌🏻
@@antisymmetry exactly!! no pick me girl is gonna embarass me in front of her bf although i wouldnt have said anything because id rather she look crazy by herself. I wouldnt give her the reaction she wants and if the bf isnt disgusted than hes trash just like her
I think a pick me guy is a guy who is overly obsessed with being “the nice guy” and making sure every girl in his life knows he’s a feminist and thinks women deserve equal rights and other humans deserve equality.
This. They’re like “I did the bare minimum applaud me 🥰😩”
I def think it’s this and also at the same time can be what they said in the video. Just depends on the situation ig
@@catluvr2331 Totally! I agree with the girls in the pod on what they say 100%, it can for sure be both
@@adiegrass1616 I sadly briefly dated a guy who would constantly say “I would never ghost you, I’m a nice guy. I’m such a nice guy, I respect women.” but the guy ghosted me and didn’t respect my wishes when he tried to get back in contact with me when I said I wasn’t interested anymore and to not contact me anymore.
@@hails97751 that is awful I’m so sorry!
One the first story: OP is annoyed at E for setting a standard, feels like E gets a special treatment by not having to deal with mean jokes.. why not raise the bar of how you treat others to the same standard? I bet OP is insecure and needs to do some soul-searching
OP clearly has not been in a serious relationship before
They give me "the campus-bullies who are also the most famous students" vibe.
The way OP talks about his friend almost sounds like he's either in love with E himself and jealous or he's weirdly possessive (plus sounds really sexist)
Insulting someone's partner is not funny. It's disrespectful af fuck.
Frat dude mentality
I mean, you can insult me to my face, but shittalking about someone who isn't there it's a whole new level
With the story about Lance I can only hear a therapist in a calming voice say: “I think we should unpack some things here. Why do you hate your sister? Why do you feel the need to yell you’re not in love with Lance? Do you have any nice hobbies?”
"dont you have a job?"
First story: “they are just jokes” except they ALSO actually mean the shit they say. and newsflash: jokes are funny and if you find putting down another person as funny you are the worst type of human.
Those type of male friends I dumped when I was that E's age. Totaly hate the "just a joke" mentality...
Yep!!! They're just bullies and respond in dismissive ways to excuse their bad behavior/make the friend and their s/o feel gaslit.
I think what makes someone a pick-me is when they put down other women/men to make themselves appear better. Ex. "Oh, she's just a cheerleader. Cheerleaders are so preppy. I'm way too cool to be her."
Oh my gosh! The boobs thing, YES! I overheard a coworker complaining about how “inappropriate” my shirts were when half the women in department were wearing VERY low cut shirts. I was wearing a V-neck with a tank top under it. I just have boobs. Can’t control it.
I have small boobs but I agree with that one, if other girls are wearing the same thing then people can just mind their own business
On the last story I would've turned around and said very calmly: "I'm sorry you're insecure and that's why you're trying to make me feel the same but the only reason I'm eating takeout every night it's because you said yourself that your boyfriend is talking about my body and even though it's my home too, it's gross and I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own place 🙂" and go happy
I love Lauren. Every time she comes on I get this opinion that she would be a very great friend to have
She is :)
That first guy.... the thing everyone is missing is the group wasnt making fun of the friend, they were making fun of his partner, who is NOT in the group and did NOT sign up for this dynamic. Everyone keeps saying "we joke about each other" but this isn't about "each other," this is about someone else. This dude doesn't see his friends partner as her own person, just an extension of his friend (gross, first of all) who isn't worthy of the general respect you'd give someone outside your group. The friend has every right to be upset about his friends mocking and basically bullying his partner, because the partner did NOT sign up for this at all nor is she included in the "banter".
Cause of this show, I’ve realized my mother is a huge Pick Me. Literally while I was getting teary eyed as my wife-to-be was walking down the aisle, my mom started waving her arms around to get my attention to mime that I should smile. Her distracting me broke me out of the moment, stopping me from crying which pissed me off and put a sour memory over the entire ceremony (this was not the first time she’s taken something big from me to put herself in the spotlight)
Awww I’m sorry that happened:(
That seriously so icky, I went NC a with my family cuz of their toxic bs. I doubt she would stop at your wedding
Funeral story: I also think the fact that the husband/partner didn’t find out before she announced to everyone else is problematic.
As a former pick me, I want to humbly apologize to the entire world. 😂I’ve changed my ways
Lol what did you do that made you a pick me?
lol just based on your name (and i could be wrong) i’m assuming you can’t be much older than early 20s and no worries man, we rly do all have our moments. learning from it Ever is awesome, learning it young is excellent just ‘cause it even makes your life way easier…
I think every girl during puberty has 'pick me' moments, because we are taught being 'like the other girls' meant being all the bad aspects associated with being feminine. it's the misogyny for sure, and it also encourages us to see each other as competition, but also the extreme self doubt.
Apology not accepted. You've done a lot of harm to a lot of people.
Jk. Idgaf.
don't worry, we've all been a pick me
I'm told constantly that I need to dress "more like a mum" now I have two kids. I'm 27. But apparently now I'm not allowed to wear crop tops or bikinis anymore
I hate when people say that. I’m not a mom and I’m only 23 but I love seeing confident moms wearing what they want, rather it be all covered up or bikinis! Just cause you’re a mom doesn’t mean you have to put yourself second 🫶🏻
I hate that people think maternity= leaving all your complexities and identity as a woman under the rug. Fuck them.
This!!! I’m 26 I have two beautiful kids and I’m constantly told to wear something more “covering” cause I’m a mom and everything… but I feel best in that and that’s what I’m gonna do
it’s so confusing like i know moms who can absolutely pull off those looks & my family doesn’t shit on my cousin as far as i know of for dressing like she’s a young adult… when we see young women with babies who are influencers we don’t get mad if they’re in a crop top and yoga pants. i do not get how young (and confident older, and when i say older i mean 50+ not 30+) women have to regulate some dress code like they’re not still attractive women wearing what feels nice. if you show up in a sheer lace thing otherwise completely nude it’s an issue, if you’re wearing something a lil short or a lil tight then feck either you love yourself or couldn’t afford a shirt with more coverage or both.
my mom recently started wearing shorts, leggings, all this stylish form-fitting hot girl summer shit. she is more stylish than me these days and i’m so proud of her. basically since the moment she got pregnant, she felt like she had to dress like the boring side of old navy forever and then she saw women on tiktok saying fuck off i wear what i want and i look amazing. she took that inspiration and she looks amazing!!! i’d literally only shit on her or on younger women wearing low coverage cute shit if i let my insecurity and jealousy attack me and the way i see others in a bad bad way. it stinks that we have these standards at all
I had a mohawk when I had my first at 18 and dressed like a punk. Tartan trousers and cherry red Doc Martins. Was told constantly that I needed to "grow up" now that I was a mum and dress more like a mother figure. I could never understand it. My appearance has nothing to do with how much I love and care for my children. I'm Muslim now, so I have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other 😂 But I wish I hadn't been pushed to dress like a frumpy middle aged woman when I didn't want too, I still dont now at 30 and I've never been into anything worse then booty shorts and a t-shirt. My mum, who was one of the people pushing me to be more conservative, now goes to the pub with just a bra and see through top on and my siatsrs always tell her its not appropriate at her age (48) even tho she looks amazing. Double standards all round 😂
the pick me girl stories, the ones like the story about her sister dating her friend.. really made me realize that i was a pick me girl in my teens ughhh
The sundress guy is excited to see other women FOR SURE. hes also a misogynistic pos. If you dont like your partners body, break up. You dont have a right to tell someone to change their body. You arent a match, plain and simple.
My immediate reaction to his "she's probably overweight but I wouldnt tell her that cause I'm not an idiot"
Was uh but u just DID. How else do u take the words "you arent ready for sundress season"
@@AtomicPuffin exactly! Some men lack the critical thinking to understand what context clues are 😂
@@AtomicPuffin yeah just because you aren’t literally saying “you are fat” doesn’t mean you aren’t still implying it
i think the thing with guys judging other guys gf’s appearances has to do with men getting their validation from other men. like men are always competing with each other for who has the hottest wife, the nicest car, etc. and it’s about their status in society that’s been rooted in misogyny
my best friend does certain things like a “pick-me”, for example, we have some guy friends and she will say things like “i can’t believe it took you that long to get ready, i could never care that much about how i look” or one time on my 21st birthday, she sat there with my boyfriend at the time and told him all the “embarrassing” things i did when we were broken up a few months ago, and it just came off hurtful to me and that she was trying to make me look like a more high maintenance, emotional girl than her to.. idk get their approval?? it was so weird and she always does it. even today, she posted stuff on her story after i was sad this week about said boyfriend ending things with me again, about how she needs to surround herself with people who are more successful and less sad. i wanna send her this episode and be like “omg you have to watch this, it’s so funny!” just to see if she will self reflect on the same behavior HAHA
Girl, end the friendship…
I had a friend like this and I've honestly been better off since.
@@droqlet as much as i’d like to, we work full time together in an office space and i have 6 months left of my contract here before i move upstate :( maybe after i will just distance myself but i don’t want the work drama of ending a friendship haha
The good part of me wants to say you should take the high road and let her downfall happen naturally, because it always comes with people like that. The petty part of me says to wait till she’s really feeling a guy in front of you and loudly ask her if she just farted 💀 not the most mature option but it gets the job done
@@naomikathleen3616 a girl in the friend group has officially been condemned by everyone. Everyone FINALLY noticed she's mean to the women in the group & makes inappropriate comments about the guys & how they all love her. I'm glad they all finally saw her true colors
Story 1: It isn't a joke if he literally thinks she's not good enough for his friend.
He's calling it a joke. Making a mockery of her. He's been clear he's serious about her, that should be enough for his friends.I would understand if she was a raging b*tch, but nothing of the sort was mentioned. Just her looks. Therefore: he's TA.
That first story: the worst part is she’s probably super aware of it too, because people love to hate on women when they think the spouse or partner is more attractive. It reminds me of a UA-camr I watch talking about how often she gets messages about how her husband must be gay because there’s no way he would find her attractive. It’s awful.
Also idk if all these stories were about pick mes, just awful people? I conceptualize pick mes as people talking about how better they are than other men/women, not people who have non gender conforming interests (like enjoying strip clubs). Tara Mookney has awesome videos about pick me boys and girls.
I agree that sometimes being called a “pick me” is inaccurate. But anyone who gets called out on shitty or inappropriate behavior that responds with “I can’t help that I’m like that” or “sorry you’re not any fun” is 100% a pick me.
The group chat story was weird af, and that girl obviously has no social awareness
That 'Justified Pettiness' would be a great pod topic
I think they did one called malicious compliance or revenge. Where people were being petty and they discuss if it's justified or not. It's a good episode I recommend it.
Yess i would love an episode like this!
Yessss!!!
@Tori Yeah! I've binged all of the Two Hot Takes episodes, I just want more lol
That first one is insane. My husband would rip someone apart if they made fun of my looks.
I recently showed my mom the “Basic Hygiene… Not So Basic” episode and she was ROLLING at Justin’s poop commentary. My dad and her are road-tripping for their anniversary and she plans on playing the pod in the car lmao. Glad to spread the wealth (but not the cheeks 😂) and loved this episode!!!
I butt heads with my mom over the boob size thing too! She is an A cup and I'm a DD-DDD and she's gotten better about understanding that the presence of cleavage on me doesn't mean something is low cut, but it's still a struggle. She also was raised with a lot of catholic guilt haha so she has a lot of shame around bodies that I've tried to train her out of... I also continue to have to tell her that it's a lot more inappropriate of her to say "you shouldn't wear that around your father" than for me to wear something that's slightly revealing. Like he's my dad... He's not looking and shouldn't be.
i’m glad she’s trying. not that it was ever okay to say anything like that to you, but as a busty gal who’s only lived with relatives that have the same body type, and as someone with a family full of bottled up ass irish catholic emotions, i think it means a lot that she bothers to listen or change even ever so slightly. that’s emotional helth right there, and it’s super cool of you to grant that patience when you really aren’t necessarily obligated to do so. she’s got a lot of work to do on her own, but you’re helping her along in a great way even just through commanding the respect and comfort you deserve
My back goes out to you.
For the Funeral Story:
It could be cultural differences and I’ve been to some funerals where that might’ve been an okay announcement to make. Family sees each other so infrequently. Etc etc. That being said OP KNEW the mood was somber. At a funeral you follow whatever that other cultures’ practices are. Not try and lighten it because it’s not as cheerful as you’d like.
Exactly! My thing with this is that it should be understood that whoever is hosting a big event, *their* cultural norms are what should be practiced. This was the husband’s father, therefore it was a funeral held according to the cultural rules of his side of the family. Her saying “well we do this in OUR family” is her being insensitive. The three biggest events in a human being’s life are their birth, their wedding, and their funeral. It was extremely insensitive to try to force positivity on that group of people. And personally, I don’t want a party or any happy announcements at *my* funeral, and if anyone does I will haunt their ass until they turn to dust.
Yeah, like OP literally has married into the family, so at this point I would imagine they know what the practices in that family are. Like if sb did it on my great-grandma's funeral I would literally feel like they disrespected her and everybody's feelings at the wake.... Like the mood is usually the ultimate social cue. I think OP should have definetly discussed it with their husband as it is his family's lose... I don't like the way OP put the well he wasn't really affected by this death as it literally seems like they are knew what was up and are trying to excuse themselves for being ignorant. Just sad story overall.
And when she said the mood had lifted a bit so it seemed OK, you know she was thinking the whole time "ugh when is myyyyy moment? Everyone's too sad now :( .... OK some time has passed and I think aunty just cracked a smile so fuck it, my turn"
The first story, J is absolutely beautiful to E and E was right in cutting his toxic friends off defending J.
For the Bran story.. My bf had a friend who was kind of weird and I DID ask them they both swore up and down that they’re just friends. I tried to be understanding and even cultivated a friendship with the girl… found out 2 days after our 7 year anniversary he’d been cheating with her. Always trust your gut guys
I love when you guys “ramble” on and go off topic. It makes it feel like a real conversation :)
Same, I love hearing other opinions, cause it give a different observation than our own!
Something I wanna say about the first story;
OP complains that E is so funny and talkative but J is quiet and doesn't talk. Maybe his gf (J) doesn't want to talk to you! She probably got bad vibes from OP anyways and rightfully so!
The Lance story; 🤣🤣🤣 holy crap omg. She loves him so much. She’s loved him for years. She’s sooo sad to realize that he was looking past her all that time at her “hot sister”.
Lol yeah when she said "I didn't think he was into girls who dressed like that" I wondered if she would've catered her style to appeal to him?
The one about sun dress season: He is technically saying she is overweight by wanting to look at other women in sun dresses and not her, and telling her, "You're not ready yet."
Oh man! When my husband and I where first dating alot of his girl friends treated me like shit because they where some how possessive with him. So much drama. One once told me " I will always be in his life. Even if you don't like it" lol 😆 he dropped her and married me
Funny how the guy in the first story says he doesn't really mean it when he literally said in his post he thinks his friends GF is uglier than him. As a teen I've only resorted to pick me behavior to either fit in or stop from being bullied. Its a brutal cycle.
I love the episodes with Lauren! She's so sweet and I love that she tries to see the best in everyone🥰
I had a “friend” who was always in competition with me. She thought I was “too fat” and “too ugly” to have the boyfriends I did. She got many of them to sleep with her and she’d go after every single one of my ex’s.
ew i’m sorry that happened to you both bc of how cruel that was of your “friend” to say and do and bc the fact that some of those guys disrespected you in such a painful manner is so disgusting and awful. i’m glad you know she’s not your friend and i hope you’re either with someone who respects you and loves you a lot or are single and are gonna walk into someone who knows your true beauty any day now 🌸
@@sidoniegabrielle269 I’m married now and we’re very happy. She tried to get at him but my husband laughed at her. Her brother was a full grown man in his 30s and was trying to get my 16yr old sis to sleep with him. I turned into hulk. My husband and I were attacked by her entire family and then they called the police on us. Lmfao. Her and her entire family is so disgusting.
Ugh how horrible. Bad friend.
I feel like with the pregnancy announcement one, it would’ve been way better to tell her husband in private and then ask him if it was OK to announce it at the funeral. He should know his family well enough to be able to make that call.
omg yes, I'm categorized by coworkers as a "pick me" at work. They think I'm a pick me because they can't imagine anyone genuinely loving being a cashier and cleaning without having the intention of becoming a manager. I have zero intentions of pleasing my managers, zero intentions of making my coworkers look bad at their job, it's just that after years of working at professional jobs that I thought were the dream jobs for me or just jobs that I needed until I finally found the job that truly fulfills me. i used to work at a lab making clones for research, i used to work training horses, worked at restaurants, worked as a janitor, worked as a page at a library, etc. So while I was good at all my jobs, i didn't enjoy them. I just thought that everyone was miserable at their jobs and that jobs are called work because it's hard to do due to not being enjoyable. It wasn't until I helped an old lady do her groceries on my first day as a cashier that I realized, cashiering is the best job ever because she smiled and thanked me for helping her. then another customer started to worry about the total on her groceries and then I suggested to sign up her phone, email and birthday on the store's website to get a $5 coupon, a free reusable bag and a free tub of blue bell icecream. the sigh of relief she had gave me a high of feeling proud of my job. i love teaching kids how to count their money to do their first purchase, i love reading the small print to the elderly on products, I love carrying heavy stuff for disabled customers, i love meeting service dogs, i love how sparkly my register gets when i clean it, i love the excitement of finding a case of baby formula that hadn't been put up for a desperate mom finding food for her baby (that look of relief in their eyes is EVERYTHING to me). I do cashiering for that high. I even declined several offers to become a store manager because I don't want to give up my position as a cashier. Sure I do get occasionally a rude customer or two, but I'm so high from the smiles and pleasant talk from the other customers that their rude comments don't bother me at all. I'm even often found dancing and humming at my register from sheer happiness. I understand that it's not a job for everyone and that most people find retail to be torture but for me, cashiering feels like my calling and purpose in life. So no i don't do it to impress anyone, i don't even try to put down others. I'm just in my little bubble enjoying the social interactions of every day people.
This was such a beautiful comment to read! I wanna find a job as much as you love yours. One day❤️
The sad thing about capitalism is the millions of doctors who would love to do what you do and jealous cashiers who wish they could have studied to be doctors, I'm glad you found your bliss.
I love it when Lauren is around. She's so funny when she said she wanted to report the flight attended but didn't. I've been there girl😂😂
The pregnancy announcement at the funeral is normal in my home/family. In our culture pregnancy after death is a blessing and actually a very proud moment & I’ve actually experienced 2 pregnancy announcements at a family member’s funeral, my tia passed and my cousin found out she was pregnant days before the funeral, she announced it there an it made the celebration of my aunts life an knowing her is family is still growing, we believe that out family member sent the baby. Death is celebrated in my culture we get blacked out drunk have a band, food everyone’s laughing, crying arguing. I don’t think that girl is a pick me just shes use to different family dynamics.
"thou shall not judge" has me rolling. Not quite the biblical text or translation, but it would make a cool crop top. Also, I have hated my experiences with some of my previous youth pastors who have shamed or made me and others feel insecure for being kids. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Lauren.
I feel sorry for both of you to have bad experiences with previous youth pastors 😥 My youth pastor never said those kind of things to me...
@@madelynn_18 well that is rare because it is not at all uncommon. That’s unfortunately religion these day
Imo being "thick skinned" just means foregoing your own boundaries to make other people feel comfortable. I feel as if in the first story, op isn't 100% comfortable with some of the jokes being told but they want to be "thick skinned" so they suffer in silence. They're upset that E set a boundary and the whole group respected it (when he assumed they wouldn't go with it, which is why he never set any boundaries), while op has endured discomfort for a while. It's not E's fault that YOU decided not to set your boundaries so you can appease others.
It’s so sad seeing a women or a man shut down, lose confidence and stop being themselves because of what someone said about their appearance. I don’t understand why people have to come at others looks. We’re all human. Life is hard enough we don’t need others commenting on our appearance and putting us down!
I'm sorry about your bad ex friend! Watching this podcast you've clearly surrounded yourself with better people. Good on you
The sundress story makes me sad because it sounds like she wanted to get a new sundress because she wanted to do something nice for him :(
Okay I think you guys are not fully understanding what a pick me is. It's fine. A lot of people are using it incorrectly.
A pick me girl is a girl or woman who weaponizes misogyny against other women in order to win favor/ praise from their desired partner. They often fall into "traditional" female roles, or in the complete opposite vein, shun things considered overly feminine to be "one of the boys". Both of these things aren't necessarily because they like those roles, although they might, but because of their internalized misogyny and belief that acting the way they do will attract a partner.
Edit: common example of a pick me girl are those women that pop up in those "alpha male" podcasts
For a **guy** to be a pick me, he would have to participate in and weaponize misandry against other men, in order to appeal to potential partners. Often, the kind of male feminists women complain about are in fact pick me men.
That first guy isn't an example of a pick me, he's just an asshole.
Yes, this, 100% this. It is absolutely not a great thing to be a pick me. I think the term has been skewed a bunch. “Pick me” girls are people struggling with intense internalized misogyny
exactly. I'm so tired of people misusing this term.
not everyone being rude is a pick me, some people are just assholes.
@@squinklings it's the new gaslighting. Although people are still milking that one for all it's worth🤦🏿♀️
I feel like a lot of the time, these things were clearly defined and defined correctly at first, but then social media and tiktok turned it into a game of telephone
Thank you!!!!
Im so confused now. Why are there so many definitions for a pick me? I felt like the first guy was a pick me because from my POV it would seem he had some sort of obsession over the dude because of how he rated him as a 9 or 10 then went on to make his gf seem less attractive. Yes he is still an asshole but i also think he was acting like a pick me. I think it just depends on everyones point of view.
So, this first story got to me! Rating people with numbers is so degrading! Talking down about someone's significant other is absolutely horrible! My fiancé won't let anyone bash me or say anything even remotely negative. He won't let anyone say anything degrading about any of his exes either despite some pretty bad break ups in the past. He states that they meant something to him at some point and he'll honor that and leave it in the past where it belongs. This makes me feel good because we have a daughter together and she sees both her parents treat each other with respect, what more can a lady ask for!? J is lucky to have a stand up guy like E and OP is just mad that E drawing a line for some basic human respect.
This episode feels like I'm hanging out with friends and gossiping! I love it
Lauren is always one of my favourite guests although i think you guys have had some amazing guests lately 😊
Morgan’s level of self confidence to say a saying wrong and then even sing it is kinda admirable-like it’s wrong but she says it with her whole chest (respect)
I really enjoy the authentic aspect to you two! You stumble through your words and talk in circles when you are seriously amped up about topics! My SIL is a pick me girl and she enrages me! She takes it to the point of gaslighting me and picking on me in public settings. She gave a speech at my wedding just roasting me about how stupid I was. She's not a nice person, but the point here is she has such a hard time making and keeping friends. 😕
Pregnancy announcement story: When I was in sixth grade one our teachers’ husbands died. It was really sad and the mood of the sixth grade class went down for a while. However a couple of months later (after the funeral) one of our other teachers announced she was pregnant. I can’t tell how much that lifted the spirits of the entire grade, especially when the teacher who’s husband had died shared in our happy reaction and took a moment to thank us for the way we emotionally supported her and told us that now was the time to be happy. I don’t think that the woman was wrong in thinking this new would lift their spirits, I think she was wrong for when she did it and way she did it. She didn’t give anybody time to morn the death of their love one and anytime someone stands on a chair it will always give a “Hey Look At Me!” vibe.
Still on the first story but I’ve actually heard a lot of “uwu nice guys” referred to as pick me boys because, although they aren’t directly putting anyone down, they’re acting a specific way, usually a way that isn’t genuine, in order to get girls to “pick them”
The way I understood the term pick me is that a woman will put other women down specifically to lift herself up and please the male gaze/male standards of what women should be like etc
I used to pride myself on being told “I’m super chill and not dramatic like other girls” and thought that girls were way more catty than boys but now I realize that I’m super happy with my girlfriends and guy friends. All are amazing
Hi girls! French listener here! When I heard you were going to make a “pick mes” episode I was a little worried about how you were going to explain it. I’m so glad you mentioned internalised misogyny! It plays a huge part in this notion and you being aware of it and explaining it was a big relief! Keep up the good work, bisous from France!
this was such a good ep omg, i'd be so down for pick me's v. haters round two 😭
For the pregnancy announcement, my family would be excited about this. My mom passed and my nephew was born soon after on the anniversary of her death, we took comfort in the loss of life/gain of new life thing. I think she probably thought that it would help people feel better, getting excited about a new member of the family and trying to include the one who was lost.
Ugh. Like that first story, my husband's friends can be super weird and so mean to each other. I purposefully stay away from them. On the rare occasions they've said something to me, I have spoken up and he has taken them aside too and told them it's not okay, which I appreciate. His own friends get too much for him sometimes. I don't understand friend groups who put each other down all the time. Good for the guy standing up for his SO and distancing himself from that nonsense.
I never ever comment but I just wanted to say how amazing you both are! This podcast feels like free therapy! Thank you so much for putting the time in so we can all enjoy !
AWWW SO EXCITED IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!!! love you and the effort you put into every episode
LOVE YOU!!! Thank you for all the support ugh got me teary eyed over here
I love this so much, you handle such interesting and often complicated issues!
Like the pick me thing is definitely something some people do, but in so many cases when it actually comes to pick me girls, there is just SO much internalised misogyny too, which is just a horrible thing in general but can also just really creep into your mindset in such a sneaky way, because we get told by the world around us SO much HOW women in particular 'should' behave... and it's just,... it's terrible.
To address the first part of the vid, regarding that comment Morgan read out, I don’t think they were calling her a pick-me for having that preference, I think calling her a pick-me for putting that person from the story down for considering it cheating just bc Morgan herself didn’t. Generally the diff that makes a pick-me instead of just a hater is intent, like if you’re actually doing it for guys or if you’re just doing it for some other reason. So while I don’t think their comment was accurate I do think it was misinterpreted. Just my two cents 🤙🏻
Honestly in the first 15 minutes of this video you guys have already changed my opinion on what a pick me is. You've helped me better understand the definition of what that actually is, it really does require the intention to make others feel bad while trying to impress someone else with insults or with how much better the pick me is than the other person all of those factors have to be there
I find the guy version of a pick me girl is the equivalent of a “nice guy”
Don’t ever apologize for talking too much! I enjoyed this episode so much 💖
Hi, I love your podcast! I just wanted to mention that in that friends episode, Monica was actually super excited to find out Rachel was pregnant at the reception. Monica told Rachel to take a test then and there because it would be the “best gift” Monica could get in her wedding day! Sorry it’s my fav show, no criticism just wanted to inform you of that scene. If it were my wedding I think I’d love that announcement too, though I don’t like the spot light on me much haha
All the roses for the boyfriend In the first story. I hope they have a very happy marriage 🎉
I think the “pick me” aspect of the first two stories from men is the fact that these guys did something seriously wrong but still seek validation because they want someone to pick their side over recognizing their OBVIOUS cruelty.
bottom line (and this applies to almost everything): if someone is doing something that doesn't hurt anyone, and makes them happy/fulfilled, let them be. not everyone needs to live their lives how you believe they should, nor do they even have the same worldview as you. introspection is key!! love u ladies i'm glad u ended up doing this topic :) xo
The being called a pick me girl for calling someone else a pick me girl reminds me of this girl who I went to middle school with. She’d constantly call people rude all the time so I had to finally tell her it was rude for her to be walking around calling other people rude
YESSS!!!! You took my advice on not holding yourself responsible for other peoples triggers. You’re a rockstar Morgan 👏🏽👏🏽❤️🥰
wait what? is there a video where she didn’t use a trigger warning for something and people in the comments were upset?
Surprisingly I was in the same situation as E from the first AITAH. Jokes about significant others are off limits, especially when they are disrespectful and when the person in question isn't even there. Some people just don't get that
Pick me stories remind me so much of my crappy friendship with a past girl friend. So glad there is an accurate term that describes these toxic behaviors!
the guy in the first story is describing his friend like he’s in love with him lol.
Her wanting to “lighten the mood” is her being so self absorbed it’s news that’s great for you about a good thing in your life while people are actively grieving so someone else great news that isn’t directly affecting them is supposed to make them happy??
It’s honestly so interesting hearing about Lauren’s open interesting in sex, like not just sex itself, but the whys and hows of the culture and social norms behind sex and whatnot, especially with wanting to be a sex therapist and going to strip clubs
This felt like a therapy session for girls just by listening to it! Well said! Don’t be afraid of more talking with guests! As long as y’all stay on topic!
YESSS i was waiting for this onee!!! Love that Lauren´s back for it!
I love Lauren's episodes